June 13, 2024 • 31 mins
Amy’s niece, Adelyn, joins again (ep. 2 of 4) and this time they’re talking about the bittersweet parts of life + living without regret + chasing your dreams + PIMPINJOY (spreading joy to others!) This chat is 2 of 4 that will happen this month and we love having Adelyn’s perspective on life.
Adelyn shares her experience of feeling both the bitterness of her losing her grandma (AKA: Marmie / Amy’s mom) to cancer and the sweetness of the impact and legacy that lives on through PIMPINJOY! Marmie also inspired a research paper Adelyn did this last semester on living without regret because something Marmie realized as she was dying, sadly, was that she didn’t chase her dreams….she didn’t even really let herself dream.
Patriotic PIMPINJOY line launches today! Check it out HERE…everything turned out so cute!!! The Bobby Bones Show partners with Building Homes for Heroes every year to help build a veteran a home. ALL proceeds are donated. Shout out Bobby’s wife, Caitlin, for this year’s designs & The Shop Forward for helping make it all possible. It's all perfect for the 4th of July!
The book that has the quiz Adelyn shares is called Bittersweet: How sorrow and longing make us whole by Susan Cain.
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Adelyn Dozier
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cats up Little food for yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful
for that for a little.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
More said he you're kicking with four with Amy Brown.
Happy Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Four Things Amy here, and I've got my niece Adeline
joining me.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hey.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Hey, this is Adeline's second Thursday of the month. If
you listen to last Thursday, you know that she's my
intern for eight weeks. She's going to be doing episodes
with me every Thursday for the month of June.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So this is part two.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Last week Part one was cultivating Connection one cheese toast
at a time. Loved that chat so much and I
love our family members were listening to it and so
many of your friends. So shout out to any new listeners.
From University of Colorado in Boulder. Hey, guys, hey, thanks
for joining to support Adeline. We're gonna be talking about
(01:14):
bittersweet moments in life today, but then also your dreams.
Are you going after your dreams? Because something that is
launching today as you're listening to this, So you're listening
to this on Thursday. Our Patriotic Pimp and joy line
went up today and this is something we've been doing
for years. This fall, ten years ago, my mom Adeline's Marmie,
her grandma, passed away from cancer and pimp and Joy
(01:38):
was born. And it was born because of Marmei's journey
and her ability to spread joy while she was at
mdy Anderson undergoing chemo radiation. All the things and the
joy did not come from her. Joy came from the
Lord and her mantra was Neamiah eight ten. That was
a difficult season for us, for sure, but it's so
(02:01):
bittersweet now to have these launches where we put out
hats and shirts where one hundred percent of the proceeds
go back to whatever the cause is. And every summer
the Bobby Bone Show and the Shop Forward we partner
with building homes for heroes and build a veteran a home,
an eighty A certified home. So those shirts went up today.
We called the veteran he's on the Bobby Bone Show,
(02:24):
and the veteran had no idea he had been selected.
So it's really special and fun to see that this
movement started with Mom's decision to spread joy during a
very difficult time and to choose joy for herself. Mostly
it wasn't always like we acknowledged the hard times for sure.
But Adeline and I were talking about bittersweet moments in life.
(02:47):
Marmie's definitely a bittersweet moment for you. You were eleven
when she passed away.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
The first hard thing that I had ever really gone
through in life.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And then now here you are living with me in Nashville,
helping launched the new Patriotic Line. We did a fun
reel together that went up. Adeline did the creative work
on it. She put together the reel, and so for you,
when you're looking at that, I don't know if you're like, oh,
this is so neat, sort of a complete moment. You're
grown up, You're doing an internship and still working on
(03:16):
a project that has to do with your armie. Yeah,
it's crazy. Listeners are a crucial part of the give
back component of this. All proceeds go to the cause.
Without listeners, we don't have donations to make. You can
spread joy to others and it doesn't cost you a dime.
A lot of the joy that my mom was spreading
(03:37):
at the hospital. She would talk to people in the
waiting room that didn't have family members there with her.
One thing about Mom is she never attended any appointment alone. Ever,
there was always so I did not know that there
was always somebody that went with her, including dad, my dad,
your papa, and they were divorced, but he was part
(03:58):
of her team, Like she had to drive from Austin
to Houston and he was her escort at times. And
so that was a cool, full circle moment. You know,
that's bittersweet. Ceci and I your mom. We had to
go through them getting divorced and not having a relationship
at all, to then when she's on her deathbed, dad
finally apologizing for some stuff that she had forgiven him
(04:22):
four years ago. But she waited for him for a
very long time to come back and he never did.
And that was her choice, and I think she probably
regrets that. I wish you would have moved on and
dated and done her own thing. And then when he
got divorced from his fourth wife, you know, Papa was
trying to come back and date Marmie when she had cancer. Yes, okay, yeah,
(04:43):
and she was like, I'm a little busy now, but
really it wasn't that she was just busy with the cancer.
She knew in her heart like, oh yeah, I would
have taken you back, but also now, at this point
in my life, I have forgiven you. And if I'm
going to date somebody, I want to be with someone
can acknowledge when they've hurt somebody and say they're sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
And he had not done that yet.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And when Marmee was on hospice, he went up to
her and he was brushing her hair, and Christine and
I got to witness it.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I keep using different names.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I keep saying your mom, Christy CC, that's all the
same person, and Marmie and Mom all the same person.
Paw Paul is my dad, Adeline's grandpa, so also known
as Harvey. I don't know, there's so many names, catboy, No.
So we got to witness that. That's a bittersweet moment,
like it sucked. We were sitting there watching our mother die,
(05:37):
but we're seeing our dad finally say I'm sorry. I
messed up. That wasn't fair to you. Will you forgive me?
That's an example of something that's bittersweet, and so yeah,
on a Pimp and Joy launch date, it's bittersweet.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Do I wish my mom was here? Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Is it cool to see all the good that has
come from Pimp and Joy and that Pip and Joy
wouldn't exist without her cancer journey and then ultimately her
passing away. She never even saw any merch like the
two weeks before we launched the hat she passed away,
she got to see the proto type.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, she only saw.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
It, like with the patch, like stuck on with Tate.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
It wasn't even done, but she did ourselves. She did
get to see it.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
And the Shop Forward has been an amazing partner on
that and the Bobby Bone Show. Listeners just blow us
away every time, like it's just really really cool. And
this line that launched today, Bobby's wife Caitlin designed it.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
It's so cute.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You have to go look at it, Go look at
the reel that Adeline helped with at radio ames my
Instagram handle and you can hit up Bobbybones dot com
or TheShop forward dot com. But it's such a it's
a bittersweet day. These these launch days are bittersweet for us.
And Adelin and I were talking about the episode and
she sent me some notes and you, I love this definition.
(07:02):
Bittersweet is a pleasant emotion marked by elements of suffering.
And then can I share what you wrote about it? Yeah,
and then she wrote, life is equally sorrow and joy,
and we have to learn to understand that sorrow is
not wasted time. We're constantly chasing the joy and dismissing
the sorrow, understandably because sorrow hurts and joy feels good.
(07:24):
Suffering is not to be avoided, but rather acknowledged for
the value that it offers. Bittersweet is the moment you
feel both happiness and sadness at the same time. It's
about the recognition that both light and dark, birth and death,
bitter and sweet, are forever paired. It is the bittersweet
moments that make me realize that you can't fully understand
the freedom of the high moments of life without having
(07:47):
felt trapped in the valleys and sufferings that come along.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Which I love that.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
When Adeline sent me that, I said, oh, is this
from that Susan Kine book Bittersweet?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Guys, we're also going to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
And I thought it was a quote you pulled and
You're like, no, I wrote that, And I was.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Like, dang, okay, which is probably bits and pieces from
parts of her book that I've read because she helped
like shape how I think about it. But Yeah, that
was me trying to like summer into words how I
think about it in my head.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And then something else that I learned that you put
together and wrote one of your papers for school that
was about dreams and something you learned from your mom
about Marmie. My mom and how she didn't yet all
came from Marmie. Yeah, so we'll get back into the
bitter sweet thing, but let's take a quick detour and
(08:38):
talk about this paper that you wrote.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
At the end of this last semester, I had to
do like a final research paper for a class I
was in, and I wanted to talk about Marmie in
some way because that's a huge part of my life.
And if I was going to write this long research paper,
I wanted it to be about something that had meaning
to me. So I started thinking about like different end
of life conversations that people have end of life regrets,
(09:01):
and that was something that was really intriguing to me.
And I remember calling Mom and I was asking her
different questions about Marmie. And it's so interesting being older
now and getting just the full story behind her whole life,
like towards the end of her cancer journey, and I
was only eleven when she passed away, and so now
just understanding more and more as I get older everything
(09:21):
that really was going on in her mind. And one
of the biggest things that my mom had said was
that in her last few months, she realized that she
had this regret that she didn't follow her dreams so
much so to the point she didn't know she ever
really let herself have dreams to follow, and she just
closed herself off so much to those dreams because she
didn't think she would let herself follow them.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Anyways.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
It's a scary thing to do for some people, depending
on what's happened in life. I would think now looking back,
even on my own life, there are moments you probably
you just don't even know that you're shutting yourself off
from everything. You're just in the moment trying to get
through day to day and not allowing yourself to even dream.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
And I think that's like it.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Maybe she was, And it wasn't until she was in
hospice on a bed all day that she realized, like, gosh,
like I can only follow these dreams when I'm healthy,
and now that I'm sick, I'm realizing that while I
was healthy, I never let myself go after all these
things that I'm thinking about, I don't know. It was
really cool to talk to my mom about it because
I did not know that about her. And then that
became the basis for this paper that I spent weeks
(10:26):
researching and learning about and understanding why this is actually
a really common thing that happens to people, and it's
a common conversation for people nearing the end of their life,
the conversation of regrets.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
What did it shape for you? I mean, I know
it's a recent thing that you did. You say it
was the end of last semester.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It was my final paper. Oh in May, so okay,
like a month ago.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
All right, So like in the last month, have you
found yourself living any differently based on the research that
you did and being that you're twenty one years old
and you could have so many dreams ahead view and
maybe you don't want to end up on your hospice
bed or your deathbed I guess as we'll call it,
and living with regret that you didn't chase a dream.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
The biggest thing I learned is that if you fail,
it's not a failure, it's just a closed door that's
leading you into another door, like all it's doing is
putting up a little roadblock in directing you to where
you really are supposed to be going. I think that's
a hard way to see life sometimes as seeing things
as all the things that get shut off as no,
(11:29):
it's not a negative thing. It's just closing you off
and opening you up to the next path. And that
is how I want to see different things in my life.
And when things get shut down, I want to see
them as Okay, this isn't a terrible thing. Like I'm
going after my dreams and if this one dream doesn't
work out, it's leading.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Me into the next. I think that, yeah, yeah, a detour.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And I think that is a better way to live
life than to sit there and fear the whole time,
which I do. I do for some things. So I'm
not saying that I'm actively living this out, but that
is my goal.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
There's a book that you would love, especially because you're
a business major, and it's called Obstacle is the Way.
So you can add it and who knows, maybe it'll
be the inspiration You've read.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It a paper next year. Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
It's something that Ben and I actually read together a
few years ago, and it was very encouraging to me,
not just in business but in my personal life too
and having similar thinking of, Okay, this is a real
bummer right now, but instead of just being stuck here
and not learning from this or taking it with me
(12:45):
another direction and seeing rejection as redirection. You know, that's
saying yeah, you know it's from pinterest or something. It's
all quote, oh, we're speaking of socials. Adeline's got a
viral video speaking of Jay and dreams, her and her
boyfriend Henry.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
They're going viral on.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
TikTok with a cute video with them in a waterhouse.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Or something like that. Well, I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
It's just a simple video, and I'm sure you didn't
anticipate in doing anything like you just threw it up
of you and your boyfriend and you.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
It's us spraying each other with a water hose after
four wheeling.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
But in a really cute, playful way that I read
one of the comments and it said it's giving Miley
Cyrus Liam Hymnsworth vibes from.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What movie did they do together? You know that movie
that was.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Kind of like the Nopebok Last Call Chance, The last
from the last song, oh, the last song. Yeah, but
that's what it is. So yeah, y'all are definitely giving
Miley Liam vibes. But they're not together anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
But that's okay.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
You and Henry are going strong. But Henry did text
you that he thinks that this might be the.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Peak of y'all's He was like, well, add on, I
guess this is our peak. It's all downhill from here,
So I know we're kidding.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
We're getting Yeah, No, we need bigger dreams. We're still
sending snail mail.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Yeah, Henry seems like an awesome person. I can't wait
to get to know him. He's going to need to
come intern with me next so that I can get
to know him. That would be really special. Back to
the dreams and the research that you did. I mean,
I'm forty three in starting a new chapter of my life.
I feel like, you know, single now and dating again. Which,
(14:27):
speaking of that viral video, Adeline and I needed some
comedic relief today. It's been a very busy day and
we did take a moment to what's it called when
you marry him together?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
A spittach Yeah on TikTok on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It's a stitch, but on Instagram it's a remix and
you take a part of someone else's video and then
you insert yourself. And so Adeline and I went outside
and stitch together her and Henry with a water hose,
and then all of a sudden it cut to me
and I'm just with the water hose by myself, but
great al time with it, and we just thought it
(15:01):
was hilarious. I have no idea if that will resonate
with anybody else.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
It'll be posted soon, whether she wants to or not,
So don't worry, it'll be out there. Adam's going to
put it up.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
But I am in a new phase of life, and
I feel like this is a good reminder for me
to assess my dreams and go after what I want
in this new season, because I think it's easy for
me to get stuck in the hustle and bustle of
everyday life. Yeah, and I want to be an example
(15:31):
for my kids to dream and chase their dreams. So
you're at twenty one and I'm at forty three, and
so what the encouragement would be to anybody listening to
chase your dreams and if there is a roadblock, Remember,
obstacle is the way.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, just redirect you.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I hadn't thought about Mom's experience with that when she
was in hospice.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Well, And I think another thing I learned just through
lots of like research, is that most people get to
a certain age when they're like in the forties and beyond,
and they still have these dreams, but they feel like
it's too late. Oh, they get to a certain age
and they still have the same dreams that have been
stirring inside of them since they were my age, and
they still haven't gone after them because of this bucket
(16:14):
of fear that they sit in. And we all have
this at some capacity in our life. But they get
to a certain age and then like, well, now it's
too late. I just think of Marmie and how she
would be like, no, it's not too late. Now I
am unhealthy, And it does feel too late, because you
can follow your dreams when you're healthy until you're not.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
And I'm pretty sure she was sixty five, yeah when
she passed away, and that seems so young to me.
And you know, Papa passed away at seventy nine, right
before his eightieth birthday. I guess I think it was,
and he seemed young to me until he started to
deteriorate a little bit because he had his own cancer situation.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
And I want to live till i'm eighty ninety. I
don't know. I have no idea what.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Will happen with me, but I want to live a
full life if I have the opportunity, and I don't
know what that looks like. I really have to sit down,
and I have some thinking to do, some journaling to do,
and some dreaming to do. I guess to sum it up,
I don't know that I even know what my dreams
are really not right now. I think I have some
(17:23):
goals for the year, but their work related, maybe some personal.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I think we spend more of our time trying to
make our life look like we're living out certain dreams
to other people. I think I focus a lot of
time on thinking about what other people are going to
think about me being in Nashville for the summer for
an internship or all these different things, and not really
listening to not that this isn't great I'm just saying,
for example, but not really listening to everything that's inside
(17:51):
of me, and just following after my own dreams and you,
for example, like everything that you do I look up
to so much into my mind. I'm like, oh, like
Beebie is living the absolute dream, and after living with
you for seven days, I can see that. I can
see that in the dream.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
That you are still living that you.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
But I just think that's something to note of looking
at other people and thinking that everyone is gosh, like
they are living the dream and I am not to.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Be transparent here a little bit with what I can
be transparent on. You came here at a time that
I've sold my house and bought another, and we're in
that transition of that. And then also work is a
little bit nutty right now as we move into some
summer stuff where there's going to be some time off
and we really prepare for that.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
We prepare for shows that will.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Go up and air even when we have legit vacation
time and we could just run best of which sometimes
we do.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
But yeah, I walked in at a wild time.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
And then a wild time, and so there's just been
a lot going on. And I think to the sale
of a home when I also still shared some of
the home with Ben, like there's some loosens that we
need to tie up.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Even though I bought him out.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Of most of his part, there's just some loosens that
we saved until the day came that I sold the house.
And I decided to sell it way sooner than I
ever thought. I thought I would live here till the
kids graduated high school, which would be another five, six seven,
hopefully no longer than that years.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But we'll see TVD.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
And you know Marmie, speaking of I saw her as
a cardinal in a tree when I went to an
open house, and it wasn't like by this house.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
But I think it was through the burg.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
It was he your Holy Spirit with mom, Yeah, giving
me peace, a piece that surpasses all understanding and all
I felt come over me with such comfort, and I
could hear the words, and it was sell your house.
Everything is going to be okay. Sell your house. Everything
is going to be okay. And I listen to that,
(20:07):
and everything has been more than okay with it.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I have learned a lot.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
But also my point in bringing this up is I
feel like in my body I've also been reliving the
divorce because of some of the meetings I've had to
have and phone calls with the same people Ben and
I were having phone.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Calls with during the divorce.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I just had a phone call with Ben and a
couple of other people this week, and that it's everything
where my body felt it. It's like that, you know,
I'm happy with me and been and where we are now.
I was trying to see if bittersweet even tied into this.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Would you use that as a word.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Divorce is bitter, But Ben and I are also in
a sweet place, So yeah, maybe there's nothing fun about
divorce where I wouldn't wish it upon anybody. I do
think that we're both in a better place because of it.
And it's not what I saw for my life. It's
not a dream that I had when I was your age.
(21:08):
I mean, gosh, when I was twenty one, I just
gonn't wait to get married, and I was going to
be married for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
It didn't matter what divorce is not and not, which
is how I think right now.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Yeah, And I think that's great and I want that
for you. I want that for everybody. Yeah, I couldn't
have anticipated the detours that life was going to take.
But I do think that Ben and I both have
some sweet things in store. I just don't know what
they are yet, but I'm optimistic. I feel like we're
(21:38):
both okay. Our kids are going to be okay. I
have my moments, though, I mean, things just feel so
weird and wonky right.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Now that I'm happy.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I think I told you this morning, when I was
driving to work, I felt happy, and then at the
same exact time, I felt like I was seconds away
from bawling, crying and not happy tears either, just sad ones,
like a meltdown. And some of that could be hormones,
but also I think some of it is just this
(22:09):
part of life.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
And the two things being true. At the same time.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
There's a lot of really good happening, and then there's
some heavy stuff that comes up inside of me that
is painful to revisit. Then I also have moments of
gratitude for the growth that I've had. I want to
get back into the bittersweet side of this conversation because
Susan Kaine's book has that quiz in it. Susan Kaine's
(22:45):
book has that quiz in it, and some of the
questions that tell you like where you fall when it
comes to being.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It's like a fifteen question quiz that she developed after
her book, and it tells you if you're more sanguine,
which is being cheerfully optimistic, or if you lean on
the more bittersweet side of seeing the sorrow and the
joy and everything.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
And it's a good way to assess.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
And no matter what you get on the scale from
like zero to ten, it's not good or bad. It's
just are you more sanguine or are you more bitter sweet?
And I was right in the middle. I was kind
of a mix of both, which I think is right
for me because I feel like I do try and
be optimistic about a lot, but I feel things, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So some of the questions which I'm gonna go take
the quiz later, I don't know, maybe when I'm trapped.
I have to go to Atlanta this week, so I
was thinking I might take the quiz on the airplane,
or maybe even download the book or get the.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Book to read well i travel.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
So one of the questions is do you tear up
easily at a touching TV commercial? Another one is are
you especially moved by old photographs? Do you react intensely
to music, art, or nature? Have others described you as
an you do it's a cardinal.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Here we are moving.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I saw a cardinal in a tree and now I'm gone.
Do you find comfort or inspiration on a rainy day?
Do you seek out beauty in your everyday life? That's
a good one to even reflect on and journal on.
Are you a journaler?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I go through like phases.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah, I think I might snag that question to journal
about being intentional, about seeing the beauty in everyday life
and looking for the moments. There was one time my
therapist gave me a homework assignment to look for hearts wherever,
like to ask for it, like, Lord, show me herts today,
just to be reminded of that simple beauty. And it's
(24:39):
amazing how many times hearts will show up and leaves
on the ground and you just walk right by them
and you don't notice them unless you're looking for them.
And then when you do, if you stop to acknowledge
it and just give it a little time, like to
be in all of it. It's so simple. And some
people might be like, what, that's a leaf? Who cares?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Keep moving? But it's like, no, no, this is a heart.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Oh well, goes back to this whole debate of whether
you see your life as everything is a coincidence or
everything is happening for a reason. Going back to the
question of do you see beauty in your everyday life, like,
it's good to see all the little things as something
that was put in your path for a reason, not
as a weird coincidence. And I feel that all the time,
(25:19):
even going back to Marmie, even in different breakups or
little things that I've gone through, and I'll sit there
and I think of Marmie. I see different things and
it makes me think about Marmie and how she's in heaven,
and then I can connect that to God and my
faith and it paints the circle and it's not a coincidence.
You can choose to see it as part of your path.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, keep looking.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Marmy's all around, She's red cardinals, She's everywhere, everywhere, she
is everywhere, And I joke, I see red cardinals a lot.
But I don't always feel Mom's presence. So that's why
that one cardinal at that one house sending me the
mess really spoke to.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Really spoke to me.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
But I also I think parts of me were looking
for affirmation. Clearly, I went to that open house because
I was curious about moving, but no part of me
thought I was actually going to move. But I do
think that there was something stirring in me, and I
was nudged to go. Yeah, and so Caitlin and I went.
I mean, I called her last minute, was like, hey,
(26:18):
can you go to this open house? Random? I know,
She's like, whit, You're not even moving. I know, I
just want to go look at it. So we go
look at it. And then that's where I saw the
bird and yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Now you followed through with that stirring inside of you.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah. And I think, just like asking to see the hearts,
you can ask for the beautiful things, like Lord, show
me the beautiful things in my life today, even in
the hard stuff, like can I see the beauty in
this pain? Can I sit with both things? Is it
possible for me to do that? I mean, because honestly,
(26:54):
sometimes I'm just going to say, it feels good to
just wallow in the pain. I get stuck there and
I'm like, yeah, I do too, Yeah, okay good.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I get so mad at myself for all the little
things that I get stuck in and I just sit
there and I get so sad and angry.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
But stay stuck in that we come out of it,
and that's the encouragement, and that there's hope. I think
that hope is a big piece to this as well.
And my hope is that people listening to this they
will look for the beautiful things, they will look for
the bittersweet. They will spread joy to others. They will
(27:29):
try to figure out what their dreams are and then
chase them. I mean, when I think of how your
mom and dad opened the coffee shop in Pagosa, I
love that coffee shop so much. I love Roothhouse and
I would love to open one here.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah, and I can move here, I can be the manager.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
And I want my kids to be a part of that.
And I want to have that with my sister and
with Ben. I want to have that, Like I think
that that would be really special. I just sometimes I'm like, ugh,
how would you even add that to your plate? And
how would that even happen? But I don't want to
have those negative thoughts. I would rather approach it as
that is a really cool dream that I know that
(28:09):
my mom and dad would absolutely love. Like they had
restaurants together. Yeah, they would freak out over the fact
that Christy and I.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Maybe would have a coffee shop together.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Exactly, And so I need to not have the negative
thoughts at the same time. I just need to be like,
this is a dream, show me the way if it's
meant to be, and let's figure it out.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, and along the way if it's if it gets
shut down, then it's only going to push you forward
into something new. That's the worst that can happen is
that it pushes you into what you're actually supposed to do,
or it's redirected in a way you didn't think you
couldn't see it before.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
That's the bright side. So there you go.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I think that it's not hard, but I have a dream, okay,
a coffee shop.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Will go shopping for buildings to either Nashville or Franklin.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I know your mom's coming at the end of the month,
and I think we should go. We should.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
That would be fun. Yeah, I think it'd be so great.
We could have Pimp and Joy there good coffee. I
have on the it's American shirt right now. It says
it on the front and on the back it's a
statue of Liberty with Pimp and Joy. The material is
so great, Like I love the hoodie option. There's a
beautiful burgundy sweatshirt color.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
It's like maroon.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Maybe I love it because I'm an Aggie beautiful. I
liked the alliteration of beautiful burgundy. But go check it out.
The burgundy hat too, with the red pimp and Joy.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I just want to wrap up the whole with the
pimp and Joy launch and talking about dreams and bittersweet
and the research paper I did. I think it'd be
good to read my short little conclusion paragraph because it
sums up everything we've talked about.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, and pimp and Joy, But I just wrote.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
My grandma passed away one morning, just hours after I
kissed her on the cheek before getting dropped off at school.
I remember her so delicately whispering I love you in
my ear, struggling to say out loud enough for me
to even understand. My grandmother is the reason that I
want to live a life where I fall on my dreams,
where I stay in touch with friends, and I remember
to never let work take control. The thing is, I
would have never guessed that she had regrets nearing the
(30:12):
end of her life. I was just eleven and thought
that she hung the Moon. While she may have left
with regrets, I live in her legacy to love the
way she did and to write a story that is
worth telling generations down the line, as she has done
with Pimp and Joy. And that is exactly what she
has done through the story that she lived and now
through Pimp and Joy, and even with regrets that she
(30:32):
did have, she still has a legacy that we all
get to fall.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
What are your dreams? I just want to encourage everybody
to journal through that. Let's journal through looking for the
beauty in our everyday lives and trying to figure out
what our dreams actually are.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Ye, paying attention to the things that are stirring within you.
Pay attention to those dreams and thoughts and go after them.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Adeline, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Good luck to you and Henry on TikTok and we'll
see you next Q Thursday for part three. Yeah all right,
bye bye
Cats up Little food for yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful
for that for a little.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
More said he you're kicking with four with Amy Brown.
Happy Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Four Things Amy here, and I've got my niece Adeline
joining me.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hey.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Hey, this is Adeline's second Thursday of the month. If
you listen to last Thursday, you know that she's my
intern for eight weeks. She's going to be doing episodes
with me every Thursday for the month of June.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So this is part two.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Last week Part one was cultivating Connection one cheese toast
at a time. Loved that chat so much and I
love our family members were listening to it and so
many of your friends. So shout out to any new listeners.
From University of Colorado in Boulder. Hey, guys, hey, thanks
for joining to support Adeline. We're gonna be talking about
(01:14):
bittersweet moments in life today, but then also your dreams.
Are you going after your dreams? Because something that is
launching today as you're listening to this, So you're listening
to this on Thursday. Our Patriotic Pimp and joy line
went up today and this is something we've been doing
for years. This fall, ten years ago, my mom Adeline's Marmie,
her grandma, passed away from cancer and pimp and Joy
(01:38):
was born. And it was born because of Marmei's journey
and her ability to spread joy while she was at
mdy Anderson undergoing chemo radiation. All the things and the
joy did not come from her. Joy came from the
Lord and her mantra was Neamiah eight ten. That was
a difficult season for us, for sure, but it's so
(02:01):
bittersweet now to have these launches where we put out
hats and shirts where one hundred percent of the proceeds
go back to whatever the cause is. And every summer
the Bobby Bone Show and the Shop Forward we partner
with building homes for heroes and build a veteran a home,
an eighty A certified home. So those shirts went up today.
We called the veteran he's on the Bobby Bone Show,
(02:24):
and the veteran had no idea he had been selected.
So it's really special and fun to see that this
movement started with Mom's decision to spread joy during a
very difficult time and to choose joy for herself. Mostly
it wasn't always like we acknowledged the hard times for sure.
But Adeline and I were talking about bittersweet moments in life.
(02:47):
Marmie's definitely a bittersweet moment for you. You were eleven
when she passed away.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
The first hard thing that I had ever really gone
through in life.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
And then now here you are living with me in Nashville,
helping launched the new Patriotic Line. We did a fun
reel together that went up. Adeline did the creative work
on it. She put together the reel, and so for you,
when you're looking at that, I don't know if you're like, oh,
this is so neat, sort of a complete moment. You're
grown up, You're doing an internship and still working on
(03:16):
a project that has to do with your armie. Yeah,
it's crazy. Listeners are a crucial part of the give
back component of this. All proceeds go to the cause.
Without listeners, we don't have donations to make. You can
spread joy to others and it doesn't cost you a dime.
A lot of the joy that my mom was spreading
(03:37):
at the hospital. She would talk to people in the
waiting room that didn't have family members there with her.
One thing about Mom is she never attended any appointment alone. Ever,
there was always so I did not know that there
was always somebody that went with her, including dad, my dad,
your papa, and they were divorced, but he was part
(03:58):
of her team, Like she had to drive from Austin
to Houston and he was her escort at times. And
so that was a cool, full circle moment. You know,
that's bittersweet. Ceci and I your mom. We had to
go through them getting divorced and not having a relationship
at all, to then when she's on her deathbed, dad
finally apologizing for some stuff that she had forgiven him
(04:22):
four years ago. But she waited for him for a
very long time to come back and he never did.
And that was her choice, and I think she probably
regrets that. I wish you would have moved on and
dated and done her own thing. And then when he
got divorced from his fourth wife, you know, Papa was
trying to come back and date Marmie when she had cancer. Yes, okay, yeah,
(04:43):
and she was like, I'm a little busy now, but
really it wasn't that she was just busy with the cancer.
She knew in her heart like, oh yeah, I would
have taken you back, but also now, at this point
in my life, I have forgiven you. And if I'm
going to date somebody, I want to be with someone
can acknowledge when they've hurt somebody and say they're sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
And he had not done that yet.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And when Marmee was on hospice, he went up to
her and he was brushing her hair, and Christine and
I got to witness it.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I keep using different names.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I keep saying your mom, Christy CC, that's all the
same person, and Marmie and Mom all the same person.
Paw Paul is my dad, Adeline's grandpa, so also known
as Harvey. I don't know, there's so many names, catboy, No.
So we got to witness that. That's a bittersweet moment,
like it sucked. We were sitting there watching our mother die,
(05:37):
but we're seeing our dad finally say I'm sorry. I
messed up. That wasn't fair to you. Will you forgive me?
That's an example of something that's bittersweet, and so yeah,
on a Pimp and Joy launch date, it's bittersweet.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Do I wish my mom was here? Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Is it cool to see all the good that has
come from Pimp and Joy and that Pip and Joy
wouldn't exist without her cancer journey and then ultimately her
passing away. She never even saw any merch like the
two weeks before we launched the hat she passed away,
she got to see the proto type.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, she only saw.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
It, like with the patch, like stuck on with Tate.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
It wasn't even done, but she did ourselves. She did
get to see it.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
And the Shop Forward has been an amazing partner on
that and the Bobby Bone Show. Listeners just blow us
away every time, like it's just really really cool. And
this line that launched today, Bobby's wife Caitlin designed it.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
It's so cute.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You have to go look at it, Go look at
the reel that Adeline helped with at radio ames my
Instagram handle and you can hit up Bobbybones dot com
or TheShop forward dot com. But it's such a it's
a bittersweet day. These these launch days are bittersweet for us.
And Adelin and I were talking about the episode and
she sent me some notes and you, I love this definition.
(07:02):
Bittersweet is a pleasant emotion marked by elements of suffering.
And then can I share what you wrote about it? Yeah,
and then she wrote, life is equally sorrow and joy,
and we have to learn to understand that sorrow is
not wasted time. We're constantly chasing the joy and dismissing
the sorrow, understandably because sorrow hurts and joy feels good.
(07:24):
Suffering is not to be avoided, but rather acknowledged for
the value that it offers. Bittersweet is the moment you
feel both happiness and sadness at the same time. It's
about the recognition that both light and dark, birth and death,
bitter and sweet, are forever paired. It is the bittersweet
moments that make me realize that you can't fully understand
the freedom of the high moments of life without having
(07:47):
felt trapped in the valleys and sufferings that come along.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Which I love that.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
When Adeline sent me that, I said, oh, is this
from that Susan Kine book Bittersweet?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Guys, we're also going to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
And I thought it was a quote you pulled and
You're like, no, I wrote that, And I was.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Like, dang, okay, which is probably bits and pieces from
parts of her book that I've read because she helped
like shape how I think about it. But Yeah, that
was me trying to like summer into words how I
think about it in my head.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And then something else that I learned that you put
together and wrote one of your papers for school that
was about dreams and something you learned from your mom
about Marmie. My mom and how she didn't yet all
came from Marmie. Yeah, so we'll get back into the
bitter sweet thing, but let's take a quick detour and
(08:38):
talk about this paper that you wrote.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
At the end of this last semester, I had to
do like a final research paper for a class I
was in, and I wanted to talk about Marmie in
some way because that's a huge part of my life.
And if I was going to write this long research paper,
I wanted it to be about something that had meaning
to me. So I started thinking about like different end
of life conversations that people have end of life regrets,
(09:01):
and that was something that was really intriguing to me.
And I remember calling Mom and I was asking her
different questions about Marmie. And it's so interesting being older
now and getting just the full story behind her whole life,
like towards the end of her cancer journey, and I
was only eleven when she passed away, and so now
just understanding more and more as I get older everything
(09:21):
that really was going on in her mind. And one
of the biggest things that my mom had said was
that in her last few months, she realized that she
had this regret that she didn't follow her dreams so
much so to the point she didn't know she ever
really let herself have dreams to follow, and she just
closed herself off so much to those dreams because she
didn't think she would let herself follow them.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Anyways.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
It's a scary thing to do for some people, depending
on what's happened in life. I would think now looking back,
even on my own life, there are moments you probably
you just don't even know that you're shutting yourself off
from everything. You're just in the moment trying to get
through day to day and not allowing yourself to even dream.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
And I think that's like it.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Maybe she was, And it wasn't until she was in
hospice on a bed all day that she realized, like, gosh,
like I can only follow these dreams when I'm healthy,
and now that I'm sick, I'm realizing that while I
was healthy, I never let myself go after all these
things that I'm thinking about, I don't know. It was
really cool to talk to my mom about it because
I did not know that about her. And then that
became the basis for this paper that I spent weeks
(10:26):
researching and learning about and understanding why this is actually
a really common thing that happens to people, and it's
a common conversation for people nearing the end of their life,
the conversation of regrets.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
What did it shape for you? I mean, I know
it's a recent thing that you did. You say it
was the end of last semester.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It was my final paper. Oh in May, so okay,
like a month ago.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
All right, So like in the last month, have you
found yourself living any differently based on the research that
you did and being that you're twenty one years old
and you could have so many dreams ahead view and
maybe you don't want to end up on your hospice
bed or your deathbed I guess as we'll call it,
and living with regret that you didn't chase a dream.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
The biggest thing I learned is that if you fail,
it's not a failure, it's just a closed door that's
leading you into another door, like all it's doing is
putting up a little roadblock in directing you to where
you really are supposed to be going. I think that's
a hard way to see life sometimes as seeing things
as all the things that get shut off as no,
(11:29):
it's not a negative thing. It's just closing you off
and opening you up to the next path. And that
is how I want to see different things in my life.
And when things get shut down, I want to see
them as Okay, this isn't a terrible thing. Like I'm
going after my dreams and if this one dream doesn't
work out, it's leading.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Me into the next. I think that, yeah, yeah, a detour.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And I think that is a better way to live
life than to sit there and fear the whole time,
which I do. I do for some things. So I'm
not saying that I'm actively living this out, but that
is my goal.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
There's a book that you would love, especially because you're
a business major, and it's called Obstacle is the Way.
So you can add it and who knows, maybe it'll
be the inspiration You've read.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It a paper next year. Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
It's something that Ben and I actually read together a
few years ago, and it was very encouraging to me,
not just in business but in my personal life too
and having similar thinking of, Okay, this is a real
bummer right now, but instead of just being stuck here
and not learning from this or taking it with me
(12:45):
another direction and seeing rejection as redirection. You know, that's
saying yeah, you know it's from pinterest or something. It's
all quote, oh, we're speaking of socials. Adeline's got a
viral video speaking of Jay and dreams, her and her
boyfriend Henry.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
They're going viral on.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
TikTok with a cute video with them in a waterhouse.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Or something like that. Well, I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
It's just a simple video, and I'm sure you didn't
anticipate in doing anything like you just threw it up
of you and your boyfriend and you.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
It's us spraying each other with a water hose after
four wheeling.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
But in a really cute, playful way that I read
one of the comments and it said it's giving Miley
Cyrus Liam Hymnsworth vibes from.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What movie did they do together? You know that movie
that was.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Kind of like the Nopebok Last Call Chance, The last
from the last song, oh, the last song. Yeah, but
that's what it is. So yeah, y'all are definitely giving
Miley Liam vibes. But they're not together anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
But that's okay.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
You and Henry are going strong. But Henry did text
you that he thinks that this might be the.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Peak of y'all's He was like, well, add on, I
guess this is our peak. It's all downhill from here,
So I know we're kidding.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
We're getting Yeah, No, we need bigger dreams. We're still
sending snail mail.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Yeah, Henry seems like an awesome person. I can't wait
to get to know him. He's going to need to
come intern with me next so that I can get
to know him. That would be really special. Back to
the dreams and the research that you did. I mean,
I'm forty three in starting a new chapter of my life.
I feel like, you know, single now and dating again. Which,
(14:27):
speaking of that viral video, Adeline and I needed some
comedic relief today. It's been a very busy day and
we did take a moment to what's it called when
you marry him together?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
A spittach Yeah on TikTok on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It's a stitch, but on Instagram it's a remix and
you take a part of someone else's video and then
you insert yourself. And so Adeline and I went outside
and stitch together her and Henry with a water hose,
and then all of a sudden it cut to me
and I'm just with the water hose by myself, but
great al time with it, and we just thought it
(15:01):
was hilarious. I have no idea if that will resonate
with anybody else.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
It'll be posted soon, whether she wants to or not,
So don't worry, it'll be out there. Adam's going to
put it up.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
But I am in a new phase of life, and
I feel like this is a good reminder for me
to assess my dreams and go after what I want
in this new season, because I think it's easy for
me to get stuck in the hustle and bustle of
everyday life. Yeah, and I want to be an example
(15:31):
for my kids to dream and chase their dreams. So
you're at twenty one and I'm at forty three, and
so what the encouragement would be to anybody listening to
chase your dreams and if there is a roadblock, Remember,
obstacle is the way.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, just redirect you.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I hadn't thought about Mom's experience with that when she
was in hospice.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Well, And I think another thing I learned just through
lots of like research, is that most people get to
a certain age when they're like in the forties and beyond,
and they still have these dreams, but they feel like
it's too late. Oh, they get to a certain age
and they still have the same dreams that have been
stirring inside of them since they were my age, and
they still haven't gone after them because of this bucket
(16:14):
of fear that they sit in. And we all have
this at some capacity in our life. But they get
to a certain age and then like, well, now it's
too late. I just think of Marmie and how she
would be like, no, it's not too late. Now I
am unhealthy, And it does feel too late, because you
can follow your dreams when you're healthy until you're not.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
And I'm pretty sure she was sixty five, yeah when
she passed away, and that seems so young to me.
And you know, Papa passed away at seventy nine, right
before his eightieth birthday. I guess I think it was,
and he seemed young to me until he started to
deteriorate a little bit because he had his own cancer situation.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
And I want to live till i'm eighty ninety. I
don't know. I have no idea what.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Will happen with me, but I want to live a
full life if I have the opportunity, and I don't
know what that looks like. I really have to sit down,
and I have some thinking to do, some journaling to do,
and some dreaming to do. I guess to sum it up,
I don't know that I even know what my dreams
are really not right now. I think I have some
(17:23):
goals for the year, but their work related, maybe some personal.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I think we spend more of our time trying to
make our life look like we're living out certain dreams
to other people. I think I focus a lot of
time on thinking about what other people are going to
think about me being in Nashville for the summer for
an internship or all these different things, and not really
listening to not that this isn't great I'm just saying,
for example, but not really listening to everything that's inside
(17:51):
of me, and just following after my own dreams and you,
for example, like everything that you do I look up
to so much into my mind. I'm like, oh, like
Beebie is living the absolute dream, and after living with
you for seven days, I can see that. I can
see that in the dream.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
That you are still living that you.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
But I just think that's something to note of looking
at other people and thinking that everyone is gosh, like
they are living the dream and I am not to.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Be transparent here a little bit with what I can
be transparent on. You came here at a time that
I've sold my house and bought another, and we're in
that transition of that. And then also work is a
little bit nutty right now as we move into some
summer stuff where there's going to be some time off
and we really prepare for that.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
We prepare for shows that will.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Go up and air even when we have legit vacation
time and we could just run best of which sometimes
we do.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
But yeah, I walked in at a wild time.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
And then a wild time, and so there's just been
a lot going on. And I think to the sale
of a home when I also still shared some of
the home with Ben, like there's some loosens that we
need to tie up.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Even though I bought him out.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Of most of his part, there's just some loosens that
we saved until the day came that I sold the house.
And I decided to sell it way sooner than I
ever thought. I thought I would live here till the
kids graduated high school, which would be another five, six seven,
hopefully no longer than that years.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But we'll see TVD.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
And you know Marmie, speaking of I saw her as
a cardinal in a tree when I went to an
open house, and it wasn't like by this house.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
But I think it was through the burg.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
It was he your Holy Spirit with mom, Yeah, giving
me peace, a piece that surpasses all understanding and all
I felt come over me with such comfort, and I
could hear the words, and it was sell your house.
Everything is going to be okay. Sell your house. Everything
is going to be okay. And I listen to that,
(20:07):
and everything has been more than okay with it.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I have learned a lot.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
But also my point in bringing this up is I
feel like in my body I've also been reliving the
divorce because of some of the meetings I've had to
have and phone calls with the same people Ben and
I were having phone.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Calls with during the divorce.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I just had a phone call with Ben and a
couple of other people this week, and that it's everything
where my body felt it. It's like that, you know,
I'm happy with me and been and where we are now.
I was trying to see if bittersweet even tied into this.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Would you use that as a word.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Divorce is bitter, But Ben and I are also in
a sweet place, So yeah, maybe there's nothing fun about
divorce where I wouldn't wish it upon anybody. I do
think that we're both in a better place because of it.
And it's not what I saw for my life. It's
not a dream that I had when I was your age.
(21:08):
I mean, gosh, when I was twenty one, I just
gonn't wait to get married, and I was going to
be married for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
It didn't matter what divorce is not and not, which
is how I think right now.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Yeah, And I think that's great and I want that
for you. I want that for everybody. Yeah, I couldn't
have anticipated the detours that life was going to take.
But I do think that Ben and I both have
some sweet things in store. I just don't know what
they are yet, but I'm optimistic. I feel like we're
(21:38):
both okay. Our kids are going to be okay. I
have my moments, though, I mean, things just feel so
weird and wonky right.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Now that I'm happy.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I think I told you this morning, when I was
driving to work, I felt happy, and then at the
same exact time, I felt like I was seconds away
from bawling, crying and not happy tears either, just sad ones,
like a meltdown. And some of that could be hormones,
but also I think some of it is just this
(22:09):
part of life.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
And the two things being true. At the same time.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
There's a lot of really good happening, and then there's
some heavy stuff that comes up inside of me that
is painful to revisit. Then I also have moments of
gratitude for the growth that I've had. I want to
get back into the bittersweet side of this conversation because
Susan Kaine's book has that quiz in it. Susan Kaine's
(22:45):
book has that quiz in it, and some of the
questions that tell you like where you fall when it
comes to being.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It's like a fifteen question quiz that she developed after
her book, and it tells you if you're more sanguine,
which is being cheerfully optimistic, or if you lean on
the more bittersweet side of seeing the sorrow and the
joy and everything.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
And it's a good way to assess.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
And no matter what you get on the scale from
like zero to ten, it's not good or bad. It's
just are you more sanguine or are you more bitter sweet?
And I was right in the middle. I was kind
of a mix of both, which I think is right
for me because I feel like I do try and
be optimistic about a lot, but I feel things, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So some of the questions which I'm gonna go take
the quiz later, I don't know, maybe when I'm trapped.
I have to go to Atlanta this week, so I
was thinking I might take the quiz on the airplane,
or maybe even download the book or get the.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Book to read well i travel.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
So one of the questions is do you tear up
easily at a touching TV commercial? Another one is are
you especially moved by old photographs? Do you react intensely
to music, art, or nature? Have others described you as
an you do it's a cardinal.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Here we are moving.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I saw a cardinal in a tree and now I'm gone.
Do you find comfort or inspiration on a rainy day?
Do you seek out beauty in your everyday life? That's
a good one to even reflect on and journal on.
Are you a journaler?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I go through like phases.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah, I think I might snag that question to journal
about being intentional, about seeing the beauty in everyday life
and looking for the moments. There was one time my
therapist gave me a homework assignment to look for hearts wherever,
like to ask for it, like, Lord, show me herts today,
just to be reminded of that simple beauty. And it's
(24:39):
amazing how many times hearts will show up and leaves
on the ground and you just walk right by them
and you don't notice them unless you're looking for them.
And then when you do, if you stop to acknowledge
it and just give it a little time, like to
be in all of it. It's so simple. And some
people might be like, what, that's a leaf? Who cares?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Keep moving? But it's like, no, no, this is a heart.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Oh well, goes back to this whole debate of whether
you see your life as everything is a coincidence or
everything is happening for a reason. Going back to the
question of do you see beauty in your everyday life, like,
it's good to see all the little things as something
that was put in your path for a reason, not
as a weird coincidence. And I feel that all the time,
(25:19):
even going back to Marmie, even in different breakups or
little things that I've gone through, and I'll sit there
and I think of Marmie. I see different things and
it makes me think about Marmie and how she's in heaven,
and then I can connect that to God and my
faith and it paints the circle and it's not a coincidence.
You can choose to see it as part of your path.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, keep looking.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Marmy's all around, She's red cardinals, She's everywhere, everywhere, she
is everywhere, And I joke, I see red cardinals a lot.
But I don't always feel Mom's presence. So that's why
that one cardinal at that one house sending me the
mess really spoke to.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Really spoke to me.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
But I also I think parts of me were looking
for affirmation. Clearly, I went to that open house because
I was curious about moving, but no part of me
thought I was actually going to move. But I do
think that there was something stirring in me, and I
was nudged to go. Yeah, and so Caitlin and I went.
I mean, I called her last minute, was like, hey,
(26:18):
can you go to this open house? Random? I know,
She's like, whit, You're not even moving. I know, I
just want to go look at it. So we go
look at it. And then that's where I saw the
bird and yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Now you followed through with that stirring inside of you.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah. And I think, just like asking to see the hearts,
you can ask for the beautiful things, like Lord, show
me the beautiful things in my life today, even in
the hard stuff, like can I see the beauty in
this pain? Can I sit with both things? Is it
possible for me to do that? I mean, because honestly,
(26:54):
sometimes I'm just going to say, it feels good to
just wallow in the pain. I get stuck there and
I'm like, yeah, I do too, Yeah, okay good.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I get so mad at myself for all the little
things that I get stuck in and I just sit
there and I get so sad and angry.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
But stay stuck in that we come out of it,
and that's the encouragement, and that there's hope. I think
that hope is a big piece to this as well.
And my hope is that people listening to this they
will look for the beautiful things, they will look for
the bittersweet. They will spread joy to others. They will
(27:29):
try to figure out what their dreams are and then
chase them. I mean, when I think of how your
mom and dad opened the coffee shop in Pagosa, I
love that coffee shop so much. I love Roothhouse and
I would love to open one here.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah, and I can move here, I can be the manager.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
And I want my kids to be a part of that.
And I want to have that with my sister and
with Ben. I want to have that, Like I think
that that would be really special. I just sometimes I'm like, ugh,
how would you even add that to your plate? And
how would that even happen? But I don't want to
have those negative thoughts. I would rather approach it as
that is a really cool dream that I know that
(28:09):
my mom and dad would absolutely love. Like they had
restaurants together. Yeah, they would freak out over the fact
that Christy and I.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Maybe would have a coffee shop together.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Exactly, And so I need to not have the negative
thoughts at the same time. I just need to be like,
this is a dream, show me the way if it's
meant to be, and let's figure it out.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, and along the way if it's if it gets
shut down, then it's only going to push you forward
into something new. That's the worst that can happen is
that it pushes you into what you're actually supposed to do,
or it's redirected in a way you didn't think you
couldn't see it before.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
That's the bright side. So there you go.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I think that it's not hard, but I have a dream, okay,
a coffee shop.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Will go shopping for buildings to either Nashville or Franklin.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I know your mom's coming at the end of the month,
and I think we should go. We should.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
That would be fun. Yeah, I think it'd be so great.
We could have Pimp and Joy there good coffee. I
have on the it's American shirt right now. It says
it on the front and on the back it's a
statue of Liberty with Pimp and Joy. The material is
so great, Like I love the hoodie option. There's a
beautiful burgundy sweatshirt color.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
It's like maroon.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Maybe I love it because I'm an Aggie beautiful. I
liked the alliteration of beautiful burgundy. But go check it out.
The burgundy hat too, with the red pimp and Joy.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I just want to wrap up the whole with the
pimp and Joy launch and talking about dreams and bittersweet
and the research paper I did. I think it'd be
good to read my short little conclusion paragraph because it
sums up everything we've talked about.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, and pimp and Joy, But I just wrote.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
My grandma passed away one morning, just hours after I
kissed her on the cheek before getting dropped off at school.
I remember her so delicately whispering I love you in
my ear, struggling to say out loud enough for me
to even understand. My grandmother is the reason that I
want to live a life where I fall on my dreams,
where I stay in touch with friends, and I remember
to never let work take control. The thing is, I
would have never guessed that she had regrets nearing the
(30:12):
end of her life. I was just eleven and thought
that she hung the Moon. While she may have left
with regrets, I live in her legacy to love the
way she did and to write a story that is
worth telling generations down the line, as she has done
with Pimp and Joy. And that is exactly what she
has done through the story that she lived and now
through Pimp and Joy, and even with regrets that she
(30:32):
did have, she still has a legacy that we all
get to fall.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
What are your dreams? I just want to encourage everybody
to journal through that. Let's journal through looking for the
beauty in our everyday lives and trying to figure out
what our dreams actually are.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Ye, paying attention to the things that are stirring within you.
Pay attention to those dreams and thoughts and go after them.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Adeline, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Good luck to you and Henry on TikTok and we'll
see you next Q Thursday for part three. Yeah all right,
bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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