June 20, 2024 • 27 mins
Join Amy and her niece Adelyn (ep. 3 of 4) as they bust out their journals and read off goals that they wrote for the year such as making the bed every morning, being more spontaneous, traveling, having more faces around the house, being a good friend, and camping!
In an effort to reach some of their goals (being that we are halfway through the year) they share 4 practical steps we can all do to achieve our goals (per Harvard Business Review.)
Adelyn also talks about doing Mel Robbins’ “Make 2024 Your Best Year” workbook with her mom earlier in the year, and she shares some of the questions you can ask yourself to make it a good year!
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Adelyn Dozier // @adelynedozier
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Okay, cast up little food for yourself life. Oh it's
pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful that for
a little more, said he you're kicking with four Thing
(00:32):
with Amy Brown.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Happy Thursday. Four Things Amy here, and my niece Adeline
is my co host. Hey, this is week three of four,
so we are more than halfway through June. That means
it's a third Thursday. And today Adelin and I are
talking goals. And this topic came about because Adeline and
I were up one morning it was like six am,
and we both had our journals out, were sitting on
(00:53):
the couch and we were talking and I was flipping
through and I went back to a November journal entry
that I had and I saw that I wrote down
what are my goals or my dreams for twenty twenty
four and I totally forgot I did this, and I
have this long list, and then I realized, oh, yeah,
it's June, and I don't know that I've accomplished most
(01:14):
of these. So we thought, well, let's do an episode
on goals and the four best ways to tackle your goals.
And this is inspired by an article from Harvard Business Review.
And after I shared with you some of mine. You
were like, oh, I journaled in January.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
About Yeah, I checked back in my journal and then
I had my own goals. Which is funny because last
week you were talking about how you didn't know if
you really had any dreams in your mind at the moment,
but then trek back.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Do I have some I just hadn't hadn't been working
on them.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Or smallized like oh, okay, I hadn't touch base with
them in a while.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I can rattle through some candles those more to that later.
That involves your mom actually live shows, that's live podcasts,
which we're looking to do that in the all a
book with Stashira, and this is something special that she
wants to do. So that's really dependent on her following
through with what she wants because she has a desire
(02:10):
to write a book for kids on adoption and she's
a good little drawer too, And I don't know if
she might do the illustration as well, make memories for
make them travel, be spontaneous, be intentional, move slower, less phone,
working on that more faces like in my House, game nights,
(02:31):
movie nights, meals around the table, meditation, yoga, prayer, closer
to God, peace, camping, and investing.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
So that's my and I've done it all.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I have no idea where camping came from. Maybe in
November I was feeling that.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You need to come to Colorado and we can do
one big family camping trip because it's too hot.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Now when let's do it spontaneously, so I'll be able
to check that off and maybe we'll pray.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Well, we're doing some faces, yeah, and then.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Best I am doing that with Bobby and Lunchbox. Lunchbox
has the Robin Hood app or something, and we gave
him money and he's investing it for us and we're
up right now, okay because of some crazy Navidia stock.
So I feel like I've checked that off. But there
are a lot on here that I haven't gotten to
and it's okay, I'm going to tackle them. Do you
(03:22):
want to share any from your journal that you have?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
From my journal, I did more of ins and outs
of twenty twenty four things that I want to bring
into my life and then things I want to push
out my life. It was a thing on TikTok for
a while where people are doing their ins and outs,
but from my ends, wre make my bed every morning
and out, no more acrylic nails, which I've gotten acrylic
nails one time, and then I wanted to go back
(03:47):
country skiing, which I didn't get to this ski season.
And I want to be able to play the guitar
around the fire. A lot of my friends can just
whip out the guitar when we're camping and play all
these songs and it's so fun, and I to.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Be able to do that.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I want to be more aware of what's going on
in my friends' lives, just like be more intentional about
my friendships and knowing what's going on in their own lives.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
I want to, I.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Said, fixed teeth, be a good sister and find God
and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well your tooth to elaborate on that. I know you
had braceism. Then there's a gap where you'd like, maybe.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, I have one small gap in my teeth, but
I just think it's funny that I have fixed teeth
as one of my twenty twenty four goals, But it
really isn't anything big.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, I love your smile, no thing. I think it's beautiful.
I can't get on board with the no acrylic nails though,
because that will definitely.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
And you're teaching me.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I don't even want to go to the nail salon anymore. Nope,
I'm just gonna buy some nail polish and do it myself. Yeah,
Adeline Paine, that's what I've been doing here. Toe's here
at the house the other night and she looked at
them and she.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Was like, oh, it looks like I went to the
nail salon. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I didn't say anything, So you're you're good to go
on that, I think, because that's something you do.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
You don't go to the nail salon hardly ever anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I used to because I thought I enjoyed that, and
that's something that arma I like to do. And I
think occasionally, if I'm going with someone that loves it,
it's a good.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
It's a fun thing to go do with someone, right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
But some of my friends, they will not give it up.
That is an investment they like. They budget for it.
Even if they can't budget for it, They're like, I'll
figure it out because this is something I want to
do for myself. I feel so much better. And I
do agree. When I paint my nails, I feel better.
There's something that happens sort of like painting nails in
a spray tan. I can be a whole new person
if I need to be. But I realized I don't
(05:30):
like going to get my nails done, and so that's
a time expense and a money expense that wasn't serving me.
So I'm glad I figure that out. And now I
can help you figure that out.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Yeah, now I'm adopting that happen.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And how about your bed making? Are you doing that? Yes?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I really have been making my bed every morning. That
is something I can say I've checked off so far
this year. Some other things not yet. I'm learning guitar slowly.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And being invested in your friend's life. I've witnessed that.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Oh yeah, I just I want to be more aware
about like hard things that they're going through and being
more having more compassion towards them because I think sometimes
I can let that slip my mind. But just being
a good friend in general, that's something I always want
to practice.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, I think spending this time with you and some
of our talks, like we ended up on your bed
the other day having a heart to heart, and I
have a desire to get to know you in that
way as your aunt and to know you on a
deeper level. And so that was really special for me
because that's one thing that I didn't have down from November.
(06:32):
But if we're doing mid year goals, I don't want
to waste these eight weeks. I would like to use
it as an opportunity and a gift to get to
know you on a deeper level. I love that, and
I feel like this is a summer that we're going
to always remember.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Never going to forget this.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, I'm never going to forget and these moments with you,
and if I ever do well, now we have some
of them on podcasts we can go back and listen to.
So the definition of a goal is any desired out
that wouldn't otherwise happen without you doing something. So in
Adelin's example with the beds, she has to wake up
every morning make her bed or you're not going to
(07:09):
be able to check that off. And that's a goal
that I put in place for myself a few years ago.
Your mom has always made her bed and I didn't
understand it, and now that I'm a bed maker, I
totally get it.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
It feels good.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
It's the first thing you can check off in your day,
and then you already feel like you've done something to
check off and it's so easy to get.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
So something to go along with that is it's impossible
to get directions to a new destination if you don't
know where you were starting from. The same can be
said about our lives. So taking inventory, making lists, what
are your ins, what are your outs? I kind of
want to do that. I may even do that. I
did see people doing that online now that you mention it.
They would post like a quick reel or something on TikTok,
(07:47):
where I was like, this is what's in for me
now and this is what's out for me, And it's
a good way to separate it. Mel Robbins she came
out with a workbook called Make twenty twenty four Your
Best Year, and it was a guide that helps people
get clear about what they want and empowers people to
take the next step forward in life. And I just
(08:08):
learned that you and your mom ordered that.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yeah, well you can just sign up and you get
it for free. But we printed the whole thing and
we had like a three hour drive one day and
we went through the entire workbook.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
It has six questions that will.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Go over but it's really good to help you reflect
and figure out where you want to go next by
looking at where you are right now. And it was
really good for Mom and I because we talked about
a lot of things we had never talked about before.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Okay, we'll walk us through the six questions.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Well, the first one is saying what's working in your
life right now? And then to counter that, what's not
working in your life? And what are you willing to
do in order to have something new in your life?
And what are you not willing to do the work for?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
What are the things you are going to stop doing
in the next year of your life, and what are
the things you will continue doing the next year of
your life life. Yeah, so I think it's sort of
like you're in, You're out. It's a lot of those
types of questions, Yes, what are you down for? What
are you not down for? And like for me, when
(09:10):
I stopped snoozing, do you snooze?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yes? Yes?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Okay, well I stopped, but it took me a long
time because I was such a pro snoozer. I thought
it was the best thing in the world, and I
didn't know why people wouldn't snooze. To me, it was
like a.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Why'd you stop? You just would not let yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Well, Bobby assigned, that's something I would like to stop doing. Okay, well,
you just need accountability, which while you're living here, I
can be your accountability partner. But there was a listener
that wanted to quit snoozing, so she called in the
show and we were accountability partners. And I knew that
I was going to be asked when I show up
at work, have you been snoozing? And I really wanted
to break the habit because speaking of mel Robbins, I
learned on one of her podcasts about sleep inertia and
(09:49):
how snoozing is actually making you more tired throughout the day.
Like you think you're getting this, you know, uh, it
feels good to get an extra nine minutes because I
would purposefully set my alarm earlier so that I could snooze.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
That is exactly what I do.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
That should be a new out for you because it's
making you more tired throughout the day and you're not
realizing it. Your body would be more well rested if
you just let yourself sleep right until you need it
to get up. Get up. And then, speaking of Mel.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Two, this is we love like we love mel.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
A heavy Mail episode. Sometimes Therapy Kat and I were
talking about her so much during the Fifth Thing episodes,
so we like take a shot when you hear Mel's name.
But she has her five second rule, and so when
your alarm goes off, you can go five four three
two one, get out of bed. And there's science behind
like a countdown. It's almost like we associate that with
(10:43):
a blast off, a takeoff five four three two one,
launch out of bed, launch out there you go, and
then like immediately go high five yourself in the mirror.
I've really tried that one. I've tried that because I
know the high fiving stuff works, and THERE'SI it's behind
that as well. But I don't always remember to high
fight myself in the mirror.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah, I've tried it too, but it's not something I
go to the mirror every morning and I just remember
to give myself a high five.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
But you can eliminate snooze, you can make your bed,
and those are two things you can do to set
yourself up for success in the day. Reasons why we
often struggle to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves.
There's a few reasons here. We set unattainable goals. We
lack the motivation to follow through. We don't really value
the goal as much as we think we do.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
That's a big one.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I wonder if that's what's wrong with me and camping.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Yeah, do you think you really do value that?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I don't know. It's all my list of things to do.
I guess I don't know what. I don't know because
I don't do it as much. But honestly, when you
post about your life, like your college life, it looks
so different than my college life did. And I know
that y'all you go out and do whatever and have fun,
but y'all know a lot of.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
It as me being in Colorado versus you at an.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
N true Colorado gives you a canvas to be outside,
yet to be out there, and it's conducive to that lifestyle.
Like you said, one of your things cross country skiing.
Not many people relate to that. But you go to
school where it snows so and you live in Colorado
where it snows too. I mean, you grew up. They're
part of your life. So I think for me, I
(12:16):
look at that and I do value it. But I
wonder if I think I value it because you make
it look so fun, and I'm like, I need to
be more adventurous. I need to be more spontaneous. I
need to be more outdoors and doing things like camping,
which maybe maybe I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
You just feel the need, just feel the need, but
maybe you don't really want to be outside with all
the bugs, and but you do make it look appealing. Okay,
well we'll plan.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I made this list when I was with y'all, actually,
because I made this list over Thanksgiving, so we were
all together and y'all were waking up at early in
the morning to go hike mountains and do things like surf,
and I was waking up to go sit on the
beach and journal when we took our FIA.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
But that's good, that's good. It's just a different true.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Well, so that's why I like this. Maybe I don't
really value some of the stuff like I think I do,
but I do need to make more time to be spontaneous.
Is that contradict I need to make time to be spontaneous,
I'm going to time block that. How do you figure
out spontaneity? I don't know. But from the Harvard Business Review,
(13:25):
the four best ways to tackle your goals. The first
one would be the four best ways to tackle your goals.
The first one would be connect your everyday goal to
(13:47):
a why ask yourself? I want to blank so that
I can blank.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
You want to be spontaneous so that you can be
fun right in a cool mom an aunt, an aunt
and friend and ya potential partner. Adeline put up my
video that we made.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
We talked about it last week and she finally posted
it to TikTok and therapy Cat texted me. I was like,
your TikTok I died laughing and I'm like, oh you
saw me.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Someone thought it was funny.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Because it's Adeline with her boyfriend and they're so cute.
We did a stitch that's what they call it on
TikTok when you marry up to videos and they're all
scorting each other, looking all cute with the water hose
with the water hose. Yeah, they're scorting each other with
the water hose.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
And I said, my niece and her boyfriend are goals.
And then it cuts to me with my water hose
and I'm all alone and what did we decide on?
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Anyone know anyone that's it?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Anyone know anyone I'm waiting to squirt somebody with my
waterhouse service announcement. So I need to travel more so
I can meet people. I need to be spontaneous so
I can have opportunities. What if my future water hose
partner is in Paris and I don't ever.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Go, Yeah, well, let's book some drops after this.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
It doesn't have to be that, but I've always secretly
do y'all watch Emily in Paris? Anybody in here? Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
So yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Okay, who in here wants to be Emily in Paris?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
So I just am like, well, how do you become
Emily in Paris unless you're spontaneous and go do things.
But like, I feel like I have a better shot
of going to like Paris, Texas.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Or Paris Texas or something like that.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Okay, So the first one was connect your every goal
to a y. Break your goals down to make a
goal more manageable, break that one major goal down into
smaller pieces, and do one thing every day that gets
you closer to it. So Adeline, you could break down
the snoozing. What can you do to get you closer?
Maybe you could stop setting your alarm later so that
(15:53):
you have no room to snooze.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Yeah, I'll just have to set up for when I
really do need to be up. That way, I don't
have the opportunity to snooz and I set myself up
to have to wake up. I think that will make
me more of a morning person too. That's one of
my goals all the time that I don't think I
write down, but I want to be a morning person.
And like today getting up at six am, that was
hard for me, but then it feels so good, you know,
(16:15):
because we sat and we journaled and we read our Bibles.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
But I feel like.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You work at the coffee shop and when you're doing
baking and stuff, you have to start baking it.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
That's not something that is not something I want to do.
But being a briista, then I just naturally have to.
That's just not enjoyable, yeah, which I.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Had seeking of being responsible and Adam and I were
talking about being able to get everything done you need
to get done. But Adeline feels like she's used to
being super busy and the more you have going on,
the more you actually get done. And I understand that
thinking too, Like on the busier days, I tackle way
more like somehow I fit it all in and on
(16:54):
the days where I have more space to actually get
some other things done, just.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
It's like, well, I guess I could technically do that later,
and then it never gets done.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Yeah. Yes, I am the same way.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So Adam was wanting to apply for maybe like a
waitress or a hostess.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Job, something like fast paced and blocked out to make
me feel more busy in the moment. I don't like
being busy, but then when I'm not busy, I'm like, oh,
I like that feeling of having to go from one
thing to the next.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I had to be the aunt and throw some encouragement
of your only here for eight weeks, and of course
I would love for you to do that, and I
think that is awesome. We've had some other opportunities of
people that I've gotten my life that I introduced you
to that are like, hey, I could probably use you
and hire you for this, and you were just told that,
and so I just wanted to encourage you or anybody else. Like,
(17:42):
sometimes if you fill up stuff with a lot of
busyness that maybe doesn't leave room for other opportunities, then
you may end up burning yourself out or blocking off.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
You have to say I would have to say no
to things that are reasons why I'm here and things
that I get really excited about. It's like my mom
always says, everything when you say yes to your saying
no to something else, and that is so true.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
So my encouragement was leave that space open. I know
you want that, and I love your hustle. I love
that you want to be in the thick of things
and the restaurant business or the coffee shop life like.
You're used to that, that type of environment, the fast pace.
That's really there's something infectious about that scene, and I'm
sure you miss it. But again, in the eight weeks
(18:24):
that you're here, I think there's going to be opportunities
that show up for you to be a little bit
more spontaneous in your business, internship life like. It's more
stuff that your skills that you'll be able to learn
and some that you'll get paid for and then you
get to take it back with you to Colorado. Focus
on continuation, not improvement. That is the third best way
(18:48):
to tackle your goals. When we set goals with only
self improvement in mind, it's a recipe for self judgment, anxiety,
and many other crappy emotions sam Bam Bam A recipe
for self judge. What is something where you've focused on,
maybe self improvement, maybe the friend one. Do you think
you've judged yourself for not being a good friend.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yes, I think I'm not good all the time at
staying close with people when I'm not with them, Like
people say, I'm a terrible communicator, and I'm not good
at communicating when I'm with them. But I like being
in the moment so much more and being face to face, like, oh,
we'll just catch up when I see you, and it'll
be like nothing ever changed. And that's why I am
with a lot of friends. But then sometimes I'll get
lashed back and it'll make me I'll impose judgment on myself,
(19:30):
saying that I'm not a good friend because I don't
check in as often as sometimes my friends check in
on me when we're not together. And that's something I
love when my friends check in on me, and I
could be way better about that.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
So I will sometimes judge myself for that. But how
would just way rather be in person?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
One of your mom's favorite authors, Sean and Meiquist. Yes,
she has the book. I guess I just haven't learned
that yet, and it's sort of when you're trying to
show up differently doesn't mean you're a bad friend. It's
that you've realized and friends have shared with you, like, hey,
I wish you would check in a little bit more.
I feel like I check up on you and you've admitted, oh,
(20:09):
that feels good. So you just haven't practiced that enough
yet to where it becomes like more natural.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yes, there is even a friend this year that I
hadn't texted back in so long. It was one of
my friends from my gap year that I went on
and then he sent me a letter in the mail
and I didn't even open that letter until two months
after he sent it, and all it said in the
letter was text me back, and that was the way
he got a hold of me. And that was a
sign where I was like, Okay, I should be more
intentional about this and practice it. So that's a goal
(20:38):
that I don't want to judge myself for, but it's
something I do want to be better at, to be
a better friend.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I wonder how deep rooted this goes, because I know
your your mom can be the same way and I
can be the same way communicating and I know that
our mom maybe this is genetic, was that way. I
don't know that it's genetic, because that would be a
little bit different. But I do think that a little
bit of nurture at play here where how Christy and
I grew up or what our mom demonstrated, and certainly
(21:05):
our dad not very great at relationships, but I know
that what we witness with our mom. I mean, Christy
and I do have friendships where we can go months
without talking to some of our best friends and it's
totally fine, and we've discussed this, and then even Christie
and I can go weeks and weeks without talking and
when we talk, we pick right back up and there's
(21:26):
not this expectation. So I know, for me in my
own friendships, I have failed miserably at that. Like I
can relate to what you're saying, and I've been the
receiver of that. I've been told that you're the same way,
and I know in my heart I care, which I
don't know if your friends have told you it's like
you don't care. It's hard to tell someone what their
actual feelings are. Like I have been told you don't care,
(21:49):
And then that's where it's because of communication can take
place because it's like, wait, no, I do care. I
just need to learn how to be the friend that
you need. But I do want to get better and
I have my best friends since I was fourteen. Andrea,
I mean, she came and told me. I remember. It
was one of the times I was at home in
Austin for one of dad's chemo or radiation things, and
(22:12):
we went on a walk and she opened up and
just shared with me that she needed more from me
and needed to connect on a deeper level. And we
were in our thirties at this point. It's been friends
over twenty years at that point, and she was sharing
with me something she needed and we were able to
make that work. We still can go periods of time
(22:34):
without talking, but I do feel like we've been able
to connect on a deeper level.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Well. I think conversations like that between friendships make you
closer friends. When she feels like she can come to
you and say this is something that kind of bothers
me about our friendship, and then you're like, oh, shoot,
and maybe you don't even realize. And that's how I
am a lot of times, I don't even realize that
it's something because my mindset is, oh, I love this
friend so much, we'll just pick right back up when
I see her or him or whoever. But realizing that
(23:01):
you can have conversations, that was something that you changed
in that friendship with Andrea.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, And I try to also in those moments when
we're more present, be present and so that she feels that.
But anyway, it's interesting. I didn't know that you were
that way sometimes with letters or even texts. And yes,
it doesn't mean that it doesn't matter to you, or
that receiving that letter wasn't special, but for whatever reason,
maybe you didn't open it from that person. Now I know,
(23:27):
if it's your boyfriend, you're going to open it right
away and my dog's probably going to eat it. But
we're not going to.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Talk about that that happened this week, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
The fourth way to tackle your goals, inspired by the
Harvard Business Review is don't dwell on past failures.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Samn maam.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
How I have failed in other friendships doesn't mean that
it has to impact my future relationships. The dark side
of setting goals is that we are likely to fail,
but don't let that lower your confidence. Instead, focus on
what worked and what didn't what were your roadblocks? And
then celebrate the small winds, sort of like exercising that muscle,
(24:05):
like a small wind would be you took your acrylic
nails off and now you're gonna paint your nails. Here
a small win.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Oh yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Gonna randomly do something tomorrow and be spontaneous. Small wind.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
I'm gonna set up a tent in my backyard.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Maybe we will adeline while you're here, you teach me
how to pitch a tent.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
You have a tent?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
No, we can go get one?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah, I mean I feel like I need to get
a tin because Jashera wants to go camping with her friends, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
She, Yes, she wants to.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
We can do that in the new backyard.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
But it is so hot, well that it is.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
That's why we need to do a spontaneous trip to Boulder,
Colorado and pitch a tent there.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Well whatever, we just need to do that. And then
you've got your time to practice guitar so you can
play some songs around the fire. I'm well on my
way to the to the more faces and game nights
because we're moving into the new home and I'm gonna
cultivate that it doesn't bother me at all that it's
June and I haven't done a lot this not one.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Bit well June.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
I don't know if we said it, but it's six
like we're six months into the year, and so this
is a good time to reassess what's working and what's
not working.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Maybe I already have seen that needs to be in
and out for this year that I didn't even know,
like I'm going to cross it off. Yeah, important.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
June is a good time to reassess your goals. Why
does it have to be January that we always set goals?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You know, Hopefully these four things were helpful. Connect your
every goal to a y, break your goals down, focus
on continuation not improvement, and then don't dwell on past failures.
Those are four of the best ways to tackle your goals.
Which thank you for sharing that about your friendships. I
feel like a lot of people can probably relate to that,
(25:42):
And I do think it's interesting that Christy's that way,
I'm that way, and you're that way. It doesn't mean
we have to be stuck that way.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Yeah, and we can all work on it even in
our own relationships. Like after I'm gone, I'll be better
at reaching out.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Yes, yeah, like we can hold each other accountable.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Huh see yeah, make you know you're not gonna snooze.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
And maybe after this I'll reach out to some of
my friends that I haven't reached out to in a while, So.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
That could be a little challenge to some people. What's
the pretty woman quote? A fly by the seat of
my pants kind of girl, you know, moment to moment, Yeah,
just wherever it goes. What's your favorite movie ever?
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Parent Trap?
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Really, that would be probably my old time favorite, but
that's my old time favorite childhood movie. Fifty First Dates
is my favorite rom com and I love rom coms.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Do you have like a sad favorite moral book?
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Also kind of a romance? I love the love.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Stories, probably because you're in your your love era with Henry.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Yeah yeah, say hi, Doan?
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Henry? Is he listening? Hey Henry?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
All of Adeline's friends that are tuning in from Boulder, Well,
thank y'all for for being here. You can find Adeline
or you? Do you ever get You haven't given out
your socials yet.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
I don't think I need to.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
You can see all my camping adventures at Adeline Doser
on my Instagram?
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Is that just what it is?
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Is it a Doser Adeline Adeline E. Doser for Elizabeth
Adeline E.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Doser, which I'm Amy E. I'm Elizabeth as well, But
on Instagram, I'm at Radio Amy. On TikTok, I'm.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
At Radio Amy at Radio Amy.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Well, thank you, Adeline, and we will be back next
Thursday for the fourth and final week of intern Adeline's
four Thursdays on the Fourth Things podcast.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Yeah bye bye,
Okay, cast up little food for yourself life. Oh it's
pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful that for
a little more, said he you're kicking with four Thing
(00:32):
with Amy Brown.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Happy Thursday. Four Things Amy here, and my niece Adeline
is my co host. Hey, this is week three of four,
so we are more than halfway through June. That means
it's a third Thursday. And today Adelin and I are
talking goals. And this topic came about because Adeline and
I were up one morning it was like six am,
and we both had our journals out, were sitting on
(00:53):
the couch and we were talking and I was flipping
through and I went back to a November journal entry
that I had and I saw that I wrote down
what are my goals or my dreams for twenty twenty
four and I totally forgot I did this, and I
have this long list, and then I realized, oh, yeah,
it's June, and I don't know that I've accomplished most
(01:14):
of these. So we thought, well, let's do an episode
on goals and the four best ways to tackle your goals.
And this is inspired by an article from Harvard Business Review.
And after I shared with you some of mine. You
were like, oh, I journaled in January.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
About Yeah, I checked back in my journal and then
I had my own goals. Which is funny because last
week you were talking about how you didn't know if
you really had any dreams in your mind at the moment,
but then trek back.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Do I have some I just hadn't hadn't been working
on them.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Or smallized like oh, okay, I hadn't touch base with
them in a while.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I can rattle through some candles those more to that later.
That involves your mom actually live shows, that's live podcasts,
which we're looking to do that in the all a
book with Stashira, and this is something special that she
wants to do. So that's really dependent on her following
through with what she wants because she has a desire
(02:10):
to write a book for kids on adoption and she's
a good little drawer too, And I don't know if
she might do the illustration as well, make memories for
make them travel, be spontaneous, be intentional, move slower, less phone,
working on that more faces like in my House, game nights,
(02:31):
movie nights, meals around the table, meditation, yoga, prayer, closer
to God, peace, camping, and investing.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
So that's my and I've done it all.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I have no idea where camping came from. Maybe in
November I was feeling that.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You need to come to Colorado and we can do
one big family camping trip because it's too hot.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Now when let's do it spontaneously, so I'll be able
to check that off and maybe we'll pray.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Well, we're doing some faces, yeah, and then.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Best I am doing that with Bobby and Lunchbox. Lunchbox
has the Robin Hood app or something, and we gave
him money and he's investing it for us and we're
up right now, okay because of some crazy Navidia stock.
So I feel like I've checked that off. But there
are a lot on here that I haven't gotten to
and it's okay, I'm going to tackle them. Do you
(03:22):
want to share any from your journal that you have?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
From my journal, I did more of ins and outs
of twenty twenty four things that I want to bring
into my life and then things I want to push
out my life. It was a thing on TikTok for
a while where people are doing their ins and outs,
but from my ends, wre make my bed every morning
and out, no more acrylic nails, which I've gotten acrylic
nails one time, and then I wanted to go back
(03:47):
country skiing, which I didn't get to this ski season.
And I want to be able to play the guitar
around the fire. A lot of my friends can just
whip out the guitar when we're camping and play all
these songs and it's so fun, and I to.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Be able to do that.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I want to be more aware of what's going on
in my friends' lives, just like be more intentional about
my friendships and knowing what's going on in their own lives.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
I want to, I.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Said, fixed teeth, be a good sister and find God
and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well your tooth to elaborate on that. I know you
had braceism. Then there's a gap where you'd like, maybe.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, I have one small gap in my teeth, but
I just think it's funny that I have fixed teeth
as one of my twenty twenty four goals, But it
really isn't anything big.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, I love your smile, no thing. I think it's beautiful.
I can't get on board with the no acrylic nails though,
because that will definitely.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
And you're teaching me.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I don't even want to go to the nail salon anymore. Nope,
I'm just gonna buy some nail polish and do it myself. Yeah,
Adeline Paine, that's what I've been doing here. Toe's here
at the house the other night and she looked at
them and she.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Was like, oh, it looks like I went to the
nail salon. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I didn't say anything, So you're you're good to go
on that, I think, because that's something you do.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
You don't go to the nail salon hardly ever anymore.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I used to because I thought I enjoyed that, and
that's something that arma I like to do. And I
think occasionally, if I'm going with someone that loves it,
it's a good.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
It's a fun thing to go do with someone, right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
But some of my friends, they will not give it up.
That is an investment they like. They budget for it.
Even if they can't budget for it, They're like, I'll
figure it out because this is something I want to
do for myself. I feel so much better. And I
do agree. When I paint my nails, I feel better.
There's something that happens sort of like painting nails in
a spray tan. I can be a whole new person
if I need to be. But I realized I don't
(05:30):
like going to get my nails done, and so that's
a time expense and a money expense that wasn't serving me.
So I'm glad I figure that out. And now I
can help you figure that out.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Yeah, now I'm adopting that happen.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And how about your bed making? Are you doing that? Yes?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I really have been making my bed every morning. That
is something I can say I've checked off so far
this year. Some other things not yet. I'm learning guitar slowly.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And being invested in your friend's life. I've witnessed that.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Oh yeah, I just I want to be more aware
about like hard things that they're going through and being
more having more compassion towards them because I think sometimes
I can let that slip my mind. But just being
a good friend in general, that's something I always want
to practice.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, I think spending this time with you and some
of our talks, like we ended up on your bed
the other day having a heart to heart, and I
have a desire to get to know you in that
way as your aunt and to know you on a
deeper level. And so that was really special for me
because that's one thing that I didn't have down from November.
(06:32):
But if we're doing mid year goals, I don't want
to waste these eight weeks. I would like to use
it as an opportunity and a gift to get to
know you on a deeper level. I love that, and
I feel like this is a summer that we're going
to always remember.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Never going to forget this.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, I'm never going to forget and these moments with you,
and if I ever do well, now we have some
of them on podcasts we can go back and listen to.
So the definition of a goal is any desired out
that wouldn't otherwise happen without you doing something. So in
Adelin's example with the beds, she has to wake up
every morning make her bed or you're not going to
(07:09):
be able to check that off. And that's a goal
that I put in place for myself a few years ago.
Your mom has always made her bed and I didn't
understand it, and now that I'm a bed maker, I
totally get it.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
It feels good.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
It's the first thing you can check off in your day,
and then you already feel like you've done something to
check off and it's so easy to get.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
So something to go along with that is it's impossible
to get directions to a new destination if you don't
know where you were starting from. The same can be
said about our lives. So taking inventory, making lists, what
are your ins, what are your outs? I kind of
want to do that. I may even do that. I
did see people doing that online now that you mention it.
They would post like a quick reel or something on TikTok,
(07:47):
where I was like, this is what's in for me
now and this is what's out for me, And it's
a good way to separate it. Mel Robbins she came
out with a workbook called Make twenty twenty four Your
Best Year, and it was a guide that helps people
get clear about what they want and empowers people to
take the next step forward in life. And I just
(08:08):
learned that you and your mom ordered that.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yeah, well you can just sign up and you get
it for free. But we printed the whole thing and
we had like a three hour drive one day and
we went through the entire workbook.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
It has six questions that will.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Go over but it's really good to help you reflect
and figure out where you want to go next by
looking at where you are right now. And it was
really good for Mom and I because we talked about
a lot of things we had never talked about before.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Okay, we'll walk us through the six questions.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Well, the first one is saying what's working in your
life right now? And then to counter that, what's not
working in your life? And what are you willing to
do in order to have something new in your life?
And what are you not willing to do the work for?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
What are the things you are going to stop doing
in the next year of your life, and what are
the things you will continue doing the next year of
your life life. Yeah, so I think it's sort of
like you're in, You're out. It's a lot of those
types of questions, Yes, what are you down for? What
are you not down for? And like for me, when
(09:10):
I stopped snoozing, do you snooze?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yes? Yes?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Okay, well I stopped, but it took me a long
time because I was such a pro snoozer. I thought
it was the best thing in the world, and I
didn't know why people wouldn't snooze. To me, it was
like a.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Why'd you stop? You just would not let yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Well, Bobby assigned, that's something I would like to stop doing. Okay, well,
you just need accountability, which while you're living here, I
can be your accountability partner. But there was a listener
that wanted to quit snoozing, so she called in the
show and we were accountability partners. And I knew that
I was going to be asked when I show up
at work, have you been snoozing? And I really wanted
to break the habit because speaking of mel Robbins, I
learned on one of her podcasts about sleep inertia and
(09:49):
how snoozing is actually making you more tired throughout the day.
Like you think you're getting this, you know, uh, it
feels good to get an extra nine minutes because I
would purposefully set my alarm earlier so that I could snooze.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
That is exactly what I do.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
That should be a new out for you because it's
making you more tired throughout the day and you're not
realizing it. Your body would be more well rested if
you just let yourself sleep right until you need it
to get up. Get up. And then, speaking of Mel.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Two, this is we love like we love mel.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
A heavy Mail episode. Sometimes Therapy Kat and I were
talking about her so much during the Fifth Thing episodes,
so we like take a shot when you hear Mel's name.
But she has her five second rule, and so when
your alarm goes off, you can go five four three
two one, get out of bed. And there's science behind
like a countdown. It's almost like we associate that with
(10:43):
a blast off, a takeoff five four three two one,
launch out of bed, launch out there you go, and
then like immediately go high five yourself in the mirror.
I've really tried that one. I've tried that because I
know the high fiving stuff works, and THERE'SI it's behind
that as well. But I don't always remember to high
fight myself in the mirror.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah, I've tried it too, but it's not something I
go to the mirror every morning and I just remember
to give myself a high five.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
But you can eliminate snooze, you can make your bed,
and those are two things you can do to set
yourself up for success in the day. Reasons why we
often struggle to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves.
There's a few reasons here. We set unattainable goals. We
lack the motivation to follow through. We don't really value
the goal as much as we think we do.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
That's a big one.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I wonder if that's what's wrong with me and camping.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Yeah, do you think you really do value that?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I don't know. It's all my list of things to do.
I guess I don't know what. I don't know because
I don't do it as much. But honestly, when you
post about your life, like your college life, it looks
so different than my college life did. And I know
that y'all you go out and do whatever and have fun,
but y'all know a lot of.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
It as me being in Colorado versus you at an.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
N true Colorado gives you a canvas to be outside,
yet to be out there, and it's conducive to that lifestyle.
Like you said, one of your things cross country skiing.
Not many people relate to that. But you go to
school where it snows so and you live in Colorado
where it snows too. I mean, you grew up. They're
part of your life. So I think for me, I
(12:16):
look at that and I do value it. But I
wonder if I think I value it because you make
it look so fun, and I'm like, I need to
be more adventurous. I need to be more spontaneous. I
need to be more outdoors and doing things like camping,
which maybe maybe I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
You just feel the need, just feel the need, but
maybe you don't really want to be outside with all
the bugs, and but you do make it look appealing. Okay,
well we'll plan.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I made this list when I was with y'all, actually,
because I made this list over Thanksgiving, so we were
all together and y'all were waking up at early in
the morning to go hike mountains and do things like surf,
and I was waking up to go sit on the
beach and journal when we took our FIA.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
But that's good, that's good. It's just a different true.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Well, so that's why I like this. Maybe I don't
really value some of the stuff like I think I do,
but I do need to make more time to be spontaneous.
Is that contradict I need to make time to be spontaneous,
I'm going to time block that. How do you figure
out spontaneity? I don't know. But from the Harvard Business Review,
(13:25):
the four best ways to tackle your goals. The first
one would be the four best ways to tackle your goals.
The first one would be connect your everyday goal to
(13:47):
a why ask yourself? I want to blank so that
I can blank.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
You want to be spontaneous so that you can be
fun right in a cool mom an aunt, an aunt
and friend and ya potential partner. Adeline put up my
video that we made.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
We talked about it last week and she finally posted
it to TikTok and therapy Cat texted me. I was like,
your TikTok I died laughing and I'm like, oh you
saw me.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Someone thought it was funny.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Because it's Adeline with her boyfriend and they're so cute.
We did a stitch that's what they call it on
TikTok when you marry up to videos and they're all
scorting each other, looking all cute with the water hose
with the water hose. Yeah, they're scorting each other with
the water hose.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
And I said, my niece and her boyfriend are goals.
And then it cuts to me with my water hose
and I'm all alone and what did we decide on?
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Anyone know anyone that's it?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Anyone know anyone I'm waiting to squirt somebody with my
waterhouse service announcement. So I need to travel more so
I can meet people. I need to be spontaneous so
I can have opportunities. What if my future water hose
partner is in Paris and I don't ever.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Go, Yeah, well, let's book some drops after this.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
It doesn't have to be that, but I've always secretly
do y'all watch Emily in Paris? Anybody in here? Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
So yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Okay, who in here wants to be Emily in Paris?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
So I just am like, well, how do you become
Emily in Paris unless you're spontaneous and go do things.
But like, I feel like I have a better shot
of going to like Paris, Texas.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Or Paris Texas or something like that.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Okay, So the first one was connect your every goal
to a y. Break your goals down to make a
goal more manageable, break that one major goal down into
smaller pieces, and do one thing every day that gets
you closer to it. So Adeline, you could break down
the snoozing. What can you do to get you closer?
Maybe you could stop setting your alarm later so that
(15:53):
you have no room to snooze.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Yeah, I'll just have to set up for when I
really do need to be up. That way, I don't
have the opportunity to snooz and I set myself up
to have to wake up. I think that will make
me more of a morning person too. That's one of
my goals all the time that I don't think I
write down, but I want to be a morning person.
And like today getting up at six am, that was
hard for me, but then it feels so good, you know,
(16:15):
because we sat and we journaled and we read our Bibles.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
But I feel like.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You work at the coffee shop and when you're doing
baking and stuff, you have to start baking it.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
That's not something that is not something I want to do.
But being a briista, then I just naturally have to.
That's just not enjoyable, yeah, which I.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Had seeking of being responsible and Adam and I were
talking about being able to get everything done you need
to get done. But Adeline feels like she's used to
being super busy and the more you have going on,
the more you actually get done. And I understand that
thinking too, Like on the busier days, I tackle way
more like somehow I fit it all in and on
(16:54):
the days where I have more space to actually get
some other things done, just.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
It's like, well, I guess I could technically do that later,
and then it never gets done.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Yeah. Yes, I am the same way.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So Adam was wanting to apply for maybe like a
waitress or a hostess.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Job, something like fast paced and blocked out to make
me feel more busy in the moment. I don't like
being busy, but then when I'm not busy, I'm like, oh,
I like that feeling of having to go from one
thing to the next.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I had to be the aunt and throw some encouragement
of your only here for eight weeks, and of course
I would love for you to do that, and I
think that is awesome. We've had some other opportunities of
people that I've gotten my life that I introduced you
to that are like, hey, I could probably use you
and hire you for this, and you were just told that,
and so I just wanted to encourage you or anybody else. Like,
(17:42):
sometimes if you fill up stuff with a lot of
busyness that maybe doesn't leave room for other opportunities, then
you may end up burning yourself out or blocking off.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
You have to say I would have to say no
to things that are reasons why I'm here and things
that I get really excited about. It's like my mom
always says, everything when you say yes to your saying
no to something else, and that is so true.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
So my encouragement was leave that space open. I know
you want that, and I love your hustle. I love
that you want to be in the thick of things
and the restaurant business or the coffee shop life like.
You're used to that, that type of environment, the fast pace.
That's really there's something infectious about that scene, and I'm
sure you miss it. But again, in the eight weeks
(18:24):
that you're here, I think there's going to be opportunities
that show up for you to be a little bit
more spontaneous in your business, internship life like. It's more
stuff that your skills that you'll be able to learn
and some that you'll get paid for and then you
get to take it back with you to Colorado. Focus
on continuation, not improvement. That is the third best way
(18:48):
to tackle your goals. When we set goals with only
self improvement in mind, it's a recipe for self judgment, anxiety,
and many other crappy emotions sam Bam Bam A recipe
for self judge. What is something where you've focused on,
maybe self improvement, maybe the friend one. Do you think
you've judged yourself for not being a good friend.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yes, I think I'm not good all the time at
staying close with people when I'm not with them, Like
people say, I'm a terrible communicator, and I'm not good
at communicating when I'm with them. But I like being
in the moment so much more and being face to face, like, oh,
we'll just catch up when I see you, and it'll
be like nothing ever changed. And that's why I am
with a lot of friends. But then sometimes I'll get
lashed back and it'll make me I'll impose judgment on myself,
(19:30):
saying that I'm not a good friend because I don't
check in as often as sometimes my friends check in
on me when we're not together. And that's something I
love when my friends check in on me, and I
could be way better about that.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
So I will sometimes judge myself for that. But how
would just way rather be in person?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
One of your mom's favorite authors, Sean and Meiquist. Yes,
she has the book. I guess I just haven't learned
that yet, and it's sort of when you're trying to
show up differently doesn't mean you're a bad friend. It's
that you've realized and friends have shared with you, like, hey,
I wish you would check in a little bit more.
I feel like I check up on you and you've admitted, oh,
(20:09):
that feels good. So you just haven't practiced that enough
yet to where it becomes like more natural.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yes, there is even a friend this year that I
hadn't texted back in so long. It was one of
my friends from my gap year that I went on
and then he sent me a letter in the mail
and I didn't even open that letter until two months
after he sent it, and all it said in the
letter was text me back, and that was the way
he got a hold of me. And that was a
sign where I was like, Okay, I should be more
intentional about this and practice it. So that's a goal
(20:38):
that I don't want to judge myself for, but it's
something I do want to be better at, to be
a better friend.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I wonder how deep rooted this goes, because I know
your your mom can be the same way and I
can be the same way communicating and I know that
our mom maybe this is genetic, was that way. I
don't know that it's genetic, because that would be a
little bit different. But I do think that a little
bit of nurture at play here where how Christy and
I grew up or what our mom demonstrated, and certainly
(21:05):
our dad not very great at relationships, but I know
that what we witness with our mom. I mean, Christy
and I do have friendships where we can go months
without talking to some of our best friends and it's
totally fine, and we've discussed this, and then even Christie
and I can go weeks and weeks without talking and
when we talk, we pick right back up and there's
(21:26):
not this expectation. So I know, for me in my
own friendships, I have failed miserably at that. Like I
can relate to what you're saying, and I've been the
receiver of that. I've been told that you're the same way,
and I know in my heart I care, which I
don't know if your friends have told you it's like
you don't care. It's hard to tell someone what their
actual feelings are. Like I have been told you don't care,
(21:49):
And then that's where it's because of communication can take
place because it's like, wait, no, I do care. I
just need to learn how to be the friend that
you need. But I do want to get better and
I have my best friends since I was fourteen. Andrea,
I mean, she came and told me. I remember. It
was one of the times I was at home in
Austin for one of dad's chemo or radiation things, and
(22:12):
we went on a walk and she opened up and
just shared with me that she needed more from me
and needed to connect on a deeper level. And we
were in our thirties at this point. It's been friends
over twenty years at that point, and she was sharing
with me something she needed and we were able to
make that work. We still can go periods of time
(22:34):
without talking, but I do feel like we've been able
to connect on a deeper level.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Well. I think conversations like that between friendships make you
closer friends. When she feels like she can come to
you and say this is something that kind of bothers
me about our friendship, and then you're like, oh, shoot,
and maybe you don't even realize. And that's how I
am a lot of times, I don't even realize that
it's something because my mindset is, oh, I love this
friend so much, we'll just pick right back up when
I see her or him or whoever. But realizing that
(23:01):
you can have conversations, that was something that you changed
in that friendship with Andrea.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, And I try to also in those moments when
we're more present, be present and so that she feels that.
But anyway, it's interesting. I didn't know that you were
that way sometimes with letters or even texts. And yes,
it doesn't mean that it doesn't matter to you, or
that receiving that letter wasn't special, but for whatever reason,
maybe you didn't open it from that person. Now I know,
(23:27):
if it's your boyfriend, you're going to open it right
away and my dog's probably going to eat it. But
we're not going to.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Talk about that that happened this week, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
The fourth way to tackle your goals, inspired by the
Harvard Business Review is don't dwell on past failures.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Samn maam.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
How I have failed in other friendships doesn't mean that
it has to impact my future relationships. The dark side
of setting goals is that we are likely to fail,
but don't let that lower your confidence. Instead, focus on
what worked and what didn't what were your roadblocks? And
then celebrate the small winds, sort of like exercising that muscle,
(24:05):
like a small wind would be you took your acrylic
nails off and now you're gonna paint your nails. Here
a small win.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Oh yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Gonna randomly do something tomorrow and be spontaneous. Small wind.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
I'm gonna set up a tent in my backyard.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Maybe we will adeline while you're here, you teach me
how to pitch a tent.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
You have a tent?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
No, we can go get one?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah, I mean I feel like I need to get
a tin because Jashera wants to go camping with her friends, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
She, Yes, she wants to.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
We can do that in the new backyard.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
But it is so hot, well that it is.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
That's why we need to do a spontaneous trip to Boulder,
Colorado and pitch a tent there.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Well whatever, we just need to do that. And then
you've got your time to practice guitar so you can
play some songs around the fire. I'm well on my
way to the to the more faces and game nights
because we're moving into the new home and I'm gonna
cultivate that it doesn't bother me at all that it's
June and I haven't done a lot this not one.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Bit well June.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
I don't know if we said it, but it's six
like we're six months into the year, and so this
is a good time to reassess what's working and what's
not working.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Maybe I already have seen that needs to be in
and out for this year that I didn't even know,
like I'm going to cross it off. Yeah, important.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
June is a good time to reassess your goals. Why
does it have to be January that we always set goals?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You know, Hopefully these four things were helpful. Connect your
every goal to a y, break your goals down, focus
on continuation not improvement, and then don't dwell on past failures.
Those are four of the best ways to tackle your goals.
Which thank you for sharing that about your friendships. I
feel like a lot of people can probably relate to that,
(25:42):
And I do think it's interesting that Christy's that way,
I'm that way, and you're that way. It doesn't mean
we have to be stuck that way.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Yeah, and we can all work on it even in
our own relationships. Like after I'm gone, I'll be better
at reaching out.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Yes, yeah, like we can hold each other accountable.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Huh see yeah, make you know you're not gonna snooze.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
And maybe after this I'll reach out to some of
my friends that I haven't reached out to in a while, So.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
That could be a little challenge to some people. What's
the pretty woman quote? A fly by the seat of
my pants kind of girl, you know, moment to moment, Yeah,
just wherever it goes. What's your favorite movie ever?
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Parent Trap?
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Really, that would be probably my old time favorite, but
that's my old time favorite childhood movie. Fifty First Dates
is my favorite rom com and I love rom coms.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Do you have like a sad favorite moral book?
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Also kind of a romance? I love the love.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Stories, probably because you're in your your love era with Henry.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Yeah yeah, say hi, Doan?
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Henry? Is he listening? Hey Henry?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
All of Adeline's friends that are tuning in from Boulder, Well,
thank y'all for for being here. You can find Adeline
or you? Do you ever get You haven't given out
your socials yet.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
I don't think I need to.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
You can see all my camping adventures at Adeline Doser
on my Instagram?
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Is that just what it is?
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Is it a Doser Adeline Adeline E. Doser for Elizabeth
Adeline E.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Doser, which I'm Amy E. I'm Elizabeth as well, But
on Instagram, I'm at Radio Amy. On TikTok, I'm.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
At Radio Amy at Radio Amy.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Well, thank you, Adeline, and we will be back next
Thursday for the fourth and final week of intern Adeline's
four Thursdays on the Fourth Things podcast.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Yeah bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.