February 15, 2025 • 14 mins
OUTWEIGH: From constant comparison to impossible expectations, this episode dives into the lie that your worth is conditional—tied to your looks, achievements, or success. Amy and Leanne discuss why the comparison game is unwinnable, how societal pressures keep us stuck, and what it takes to find peace and contentment in your unique story.
Takeaway: Your worth isn’t something you have to earn or prove. It’s inherent and unshakable. This episode will help you shift from perfectionism and people-pleasing to a mindset of self-acceptance and celebration.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am again.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm strong, I feel free.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I know every part of me. It's beautiful and that
will always out way if you feel it with your hands.
And there she'll some love to the I have there.
Take you one day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh Amy here with Leanne. Hey, Leanne, Hello,
and we are continuing our four part series The Lies
Women Believe about their Bodies. Part one, which was a
couple of weeks ago, the lie I'll be happy when
dot dot dot. Part two was last Saturday. I'm the
only one who feels this way or struggles like this.
(00:58):
We all know that's a lie. Here not alone in this.
And then this is part three, today's episode, which the
lie is I'll never measure up or I have to
earn my worth. Oh that's a big one for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
You know this is one of those ones that I
learned as an adult. But I feel like little Leanne.
You know, eight year old Leanne needed to hear this
because I grew up in this overweight, sedentary couch potato
kid that you know, my my weight gain manifested pretty early.
So very early on, I was I was the chubby
one in my group of friends, all the things constantly
hearing like, oh, she'd be so pretty if she lost weight,
(01:33):
you know, from a very young age. And so because
of that, and I didn't know this at the time,
but for my whole life, I was like, Okay, if
I'm not going to be the air quotes pretty one
or whatever one, I was saying, I'm going to go
be the smart one. I'm going to go be the
funny one. I'm going to go whatever. And I brought
that into adulthood. And not only did I was I
hustling for my worth independent of you know, my body
or whatever. But I learned this kind of weird self sufficiency.
(01:56):
You know, that I had to do everything on my
own and hold my own and show my own. So
I think this is obviously a big topic, but you know,
at some point in time, we believed this lie that
I'll either never measure up or I have to earn
my worth. And usually where that sneaks in is in
that one area that you don't feel like you are
measuring up. So for most of my clients, it's obviously,
you know, not not a coincidence that their big one
(02:19):
was similar to mine. Like if I'm not going to
be if I'm not going to look a certain way,
I'm gonna have to go like overreach or compensate, you know,
And so this is where it shows up. And then
this is also what leads to the perfectionism where it's
never going to be enough. So again, big topic, lots
of different branches. But I'm curious, you know, as you're
listening to this, like where did you start to believe
(02:40):
this lie? When was the first time that you believe
this lie that that you're not good enough that you
have to go earn it somehow, in some way that
you're that you're not living up Because wherever it started,
you've probably it's probably just kind of festered and molded
and you're still most likely carrying it with you into
your current life.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah, I mean, I can share one that's top of
mind for me right now that has nothing to do
with food and body image, because I think that these
lives can pop up in all ways and I know
this is outweigh and that's the topic we focus on.
But a lie I started to believe early on, and
I still struggle with to this day, is that I'll
never measure up when it comes to being smart or
(03:19):
grades or education, whatever it is. I just was not
at the level my friends were. I felt stupid. And
there were a lot of different stories from my childhood
that I made worse because I would repeat them in
my head over and over and I gave them way
too much power. But then that became the narrative of
what I believed, and so then I was this sort
(03:40):
of self fulfilling prophecy because it's like, oh, I don't
get good grades, so because that's just not my thing,
I'm more social, I show up in this way. And
I lived out that that storyline and well into my
adult years. I would say the years that I ended
up doing the most work with that would be the
last four or five years or so. And now I believe, no,
(04:02):
I am, I am capable, and I can measure up,
and I can do certain things that I never thought
I would be able to do because I wasn't smart
enough to do them.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Absolutely. Yeah, And it's so interesting because you know, for
for all like that's and thank you for sharing that,
because I think we can all relate to that of
like what was that thing that we believed? And who knows,
you could tell us this or not, but I'm curious
to hear if that is what caused you to be like, Okay,
if I'm not smart enough, I'm gonna go be as
you know whatever with my body as I can be.
And that's where we go to try hyper control something.
(04:33):
When we feel out of control in one area of
our life, we're like, well, this is something I can control,
because at the end of the day, of the food stuff,
a lot of it is like this control.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I think what people did come to me for was
wellness advice, not the I was qualified or they should
have been taking it from me, but I knew a
lot about diets.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, so you call it smart at that.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Let's not even call it wellness because this is the
nineties and into the two thousands and then even the
twenty tens. But I was kind of the go to
of what's the latest diet trend? Of course I've done it,
what's the latest workout trend? Because of course I was
doing it, so that became my thing. People would come
(05:11):
to me for information about that, and so you know,
I was proud of it at the time. Uh, it's
exhausting thinking back on all the different things that I
tried but pretty much did it all.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, and that's so interesting And it did all come
from this idea or you know, I'm not smart, so
you finally got to be smart in that and recognized
by it and getting attention for it. And so it's
interesting and not that we have to go like psychoanalyze these,
but like understanding is like where something happened, like why
we did what we did, and just having that quick
awareness is like, oh, it enables us to have the compassion.
(05:43):
Like so for me, I'm like, oh, sweet, sweet little Leanne,
No wonder you went down that road of thinking you
had to prove how smart, how successful, how whatever you
were because you felt broken and you felt like weren't
adding up and you felt like there was a lot
of negative attention on your body, right, and so being
able to give ourselves that compassion, right. I think another
big thing too, and you know this could be its
(06:05):
own episode in itself, is that outside influence and the
comparison itis really comes into this as well. I mean,
I do have compassion for the younger generation who they
are growing up being born into a social media world,
Like we didn't have that. It came later on when
we did have that emotional armor. But you know, seeing
you know, the comparison is the thief of joy, as
they say, right, And talking about this idea of how
(06:27):
we perceive ourselves as not measuring up is one thing,
but then how we are putting ourselves in this kind
of you know, measuring stick contest compared to what we
think other people are doing or thinking or whatever. Right,
So I think we also can't talk about this subject
without talking about the influence of other people, but really
our perception of that.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
What advice do you have for people that are stuck
in a comparison rut?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Obviously it's a bigger topic than that because it's like,
what are you comparing yourself to? And so if my
self image and my identity is one of like there's
something wrong with me all the things fill in the blank,
and like, obviously we're talking about beliefs, so like insert
belief number one, insert belief number two. That's what makes
up our identity. If that's what we are comparing ourselves to,
we're always going to lose, right, or we're always going
(07:12):
to feel like we're playing defense against like protecting ourselves
from outside opinions versus. I prefer to take more of
like an offense approach and be like, Okay, let me
change the root of that, let me change the goggles
that I'm seeing myself through every day, because first of all,
the comparison won't feel as comparison its e. But also
like the kinds of measuring sticks I start using might
change all together too. Hopefully they will if you do
(07:33):
the work. You know, so I believe on kind of
going that direction. But none of us, no matter how resilient,
how self assured you are, are immune to comparison. Right,
So it's knowing what things are doing what they are,
but really standing in the knowingness of who you are.
It'll matter. It's not that it won't matter, but it
just won't make a difference. It won't shake you.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Another thing you can do on the offense, especially when
it comes to social media, is take inventory of who
you're following and doing an audit every couple of months.
It may change, like something could be seeping into your
mind without you even realizing it, like you're just sort
of flipping through and you one month, aren't really impacted
by someone's account, and then a couple months later you
(08:12):
might be like, wait a second, this is impacting me
in a more negative way than I previously thought. So
I'm going to take inventory here and either mute this
account for a little bit or unfollow. If it's someone
that you don't really know, and that doesn't matter, but
I could see if it's a friend that might be
having that impact on you and you don't want to
hurt their feelings or you don't want to draw attention
to it, then muting is an option. And then that
(08:32):
way you can give yourself that piece and that space
to reset. And that's being on the offense. That's being
proactive and you're not harming anybody else in the process,
but you are taking care of you.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah. Absolutely, And Amy knows this about me personally, Like
anytime we talk, it's like, do you have social media
on your phone today? Or you know, like I'm constantly
taking them on and off because it's part of one
of the ways that I do kind of protect my
energy and give myself the ability to really, you know,
take rockual ownership of influencing me, you know, And so
I actually I'll totally plug this. I just came out
(09:04):
with an episode on What's God Got to Do with
It called Navigating the Noise how to find Peace in
a World of Overstimulation, and I actually shared my thoughts
about if you do want to take a little bit
of the digital detox, because when we're talking about doing
that inner work on ourselves, sometimes it's not that I'm
hiding from social media, but sometimes I'm just actively choosing
to insulate myself a little bit, you know, and choose
what I've influencing myself around. I go narrow and deeper
(09:27):
into that and in that episode, so we'll link that
in the show notes.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I love that, So go listen to that episode for
more in depth on that, because I think it's something
we could all benefit from. But I also want to
remind people too that there is space for everybody, because
sometimes even on socials, we can look at what someone
else is doing and think like, oh, well, they're already
doing that, so I just probably shouldn't do it because
they're doing it better than me. And again I'll never
(09:51):
measure up to that.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, But point.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Mel Robbins is really good at reminding people of this
that there is room for everybody. There is space out there,
So don't let that stop you from measuring up because
you are able to. And instead of being jealous or
comparing yourself and be like h just getting frustrated, celebrate
(10:15):
other people's wins, Celebrate their accomplishments, Celebrate how they're measuring
up for themselves, because then you're putting out that energy
and that energy will be matched.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Absolutely. Yeah, I just got goosebums because I was thinking
about somebody that I'm working with right now. I'll just
call her K for inanimity, thank you. But so I'm
smiling because I'm so proud of her because when we
first came together to work together, one of the things
that she told me is she's like Leanne and I
believe she's in her sixties, Yes, she's in her sixties,
and she's like, I am ready to take up space.
(10:48):
She's like, I'm a creative person and she has all
these talents and she's like, I'm ready to take up
space and not having anything to do with my body.
And so now when we're doing our coaching, like everything
in her she just needed that that to click for her,
and now everything she talks about is in the language
of like her taking up space, and it's the physical
and it's metaphorical, right. But so for when we're hustling
(11:09):
for our worthiness, a lot of times we shrink ourselves
or we hide and we don't want that light on us,
and we don't give ourselves permission to be seen, and
we don't give ourselves permission to take up space and
be on this metaphorical microphone and let ourselves talk and
let ourselves be heard, and we diminish and we shove
down and we shrink. And so I think that's another
big thing that I just want to impress upon your minds,
like you do not have to shrink. But that's not
(11:31):
something that somebody can give you a magic permission slip
to do. You've got to be the one to say, hey,
I'm done hiding, I'm done shrinking because I haven't gotten
to this metaphorical you know, measuring stick yet, which goes
into you know, all the things that we've talked about,
especially episode one of this series, you know, like where
are you shrinking yourself because you haven't reached that. I'll
be happy when marker as well. So these beliefs can
really mold and mesh together.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I think a good exercise to lead people with would
be the self endorsement journaling. So can you walk people
through what that is so that it's an exercise maybe
they can try out.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah. The short version of this is, like, imagine every
single day you're in a car going metaphorically south in
the direction of thinking about what you're not doing and
who you're not being, and what's not working, and what
you don't have and what you don't like about yourself.
Practicing that every single day in your thoughts where you're failing,
where you're not adding up. That becomes your self image.
And so in order to turn from like self self
deprecation and self criticism and self rejection in order to
(12:26):
change in the direction of like, you know, self appreciation
or self acceptance or gratitude or or what or even
just connecting to who you are becoming, changing your self
image and your self endorsement of yourself. That is a practice.
And so it's you know, basically, little by little, it's
about turning that car north, turning that car north, turning
that car north in the direction of self endorsement. Right,
(12:47):
And it doesn't happen overnight, and you're gonna get in
the car tomorrow, and it's gonna start going south and
you're gonna have to turn it around, and then you're
gonna have to turn around. You have to turn around.
But eventually it's gonna start instead of going south, it's
gonna go south east, and then it's gonna start going
east east, and then it's gonna go north. So then
eventually it's going to go nor. So everything I'm saying
right now when I'm about to share is not like
a one and done band aid. It is a process.
But if you can start turning your brain every single
(13:10):
day in a journal in the direction of just acknowledging
and maybe like listing almost like a listicle, this is
what I am doing. This is who I am being,
This is what I'm like working towards. This is who
I am becoming. Because here's the thing. Your brand is
either positively anticipating your future like faith, hope, belief, certainty,
or you are negatively anticipating your future assuming failure, negatively
(13:33):
anticipating your future worry, dread, anxiety, all those things. It's
happening either way. So it's just if all you do
is turn that car around north every single day, that's
the only way to change what's going on inside. So
just literally on a piece of paper, I'm acknowledging myself
for this. I'm grateful about myself for this, or I'm
grateful for what I did here, past, present, and future.
(13:55):
And again this is just the cliff notes version. It
will change the game.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Well, you think about about what you focus on. Girls,
that's something of a meditation that I do, and I
hear the person's voice of my head. Several meditations I've
done before say those things, but I kind of hear
the voice and it's like what you think about, you
bring about what you focus on grows and there's such
truth to that. LeAnn. Where can people find you.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
If you want to learn how to kind of peel
back the curtain of what's going on in your own brain,
self image, and spirit. Head on over to Stresslessseeing dot
com and I've showed you the system that I teach
my clients.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
And on socials. She is at Leanne Ellington, I got you, girl,
and I am at Radio Amy. Well see you next
time for part four Next Saturday will be Part four.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Bye bye,
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am again.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm strong, I feel free.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I know every part of me. It's beautiful and that
will always out way if you feel it with your hands.
And there she'll some love to the I have there.
Take you one day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh Amy here with Leanne. Hey, Leanne, Hello,
and we are continuing our four part series The Lies
Women Believe about their Bodies. Part one, which was a
couple of weeks ago, the lie I'll be happy when
dot dot dot. Part two was last Saturday. I'm the
only one who feels this way or struggles like this.
(00:58):
We all know that's a lie. Here not alone in this.
And then this is part three, today's episode, which the
lie is I'll never measure up or I have to
earn my worth. Oh that's a big one for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
You know this is one of those ones that I
learned as an adult. But I feel like little Leanne.
You know, eight year old Leanne needed to hear this
because I grew up in this overweight, sedentary couch potato
kid that you know, my my weight gain manifested pretty early.
So very early on, I was I was the chubby
one in my group of friends, all the things constantly
hearing like, oh, she'd be so pretty if she lost weight,
(01:33):
you know, from a very young age. And so because
of that, and I didn't know this at the time,
but for my whole life, I was like, Okay, if
I'm not going to be the air quotes pretty one
or whatever one, I was saying, I'm going to go
be the smart one. I'm going to go be the
funny one. I'm going to go whatever. And I brought
that into adulthood. And not only did I was I
hustling for my worth independent of you know, my body
or whatever. But I learned this kind of weird self sufficiency.
(01:56):
You know, that I had to do everything on my
own and hold my own and show my own. So
I think this is obviously a big topic, but you know,
at some point in time, we believed this lie that
I'll either never measure up or I have to earn
my worth. And usually where that sneaks in is in
that one area that you don't feel like you are
measuring up. So for most of my clients, it's obviously,
you know, not not a coincidence that their big one
(02:19):
was similar to mine. Like if I'm not going to
be if I'm not going to look a certain way,
I'm gonna have to go like overreach or compensate, you know,
And so this is where it shows up. And then
this is also what leads to the perfectionism where it's
never going to be enough. So again, big topic, lots
of different branches. But I'm curious, you know, as you're
listening to this, like where did you start to believe
(02:40):
this lie? When was the first time that you believe
this lie that that you're not good enough that you
have to go earn it somehow, in some way that
you're that you're not living up Because wherever it started,
you've probably it's probably just kind of festered and molded
and you're still most likely carrying it with you into
your current life.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah, I mean, I can share one that's top of
mind for me right now that has nothing to do
with food and body image, because I think that these
lives can pop up in all ways and I know
this is outweigh and that's the topic we focus on.
But a lie I started to believe early on, and
I still struggle with to this day, is that I'll
never measure up when it comes to being smart or
(03:19):
grades or education, whatever it is. I just was not
at the level my friends were. I felt stupid. And
there were a lot of different stories from my childhood
that I made worse because I would repeat them in
my head over and over and I gave them way
too much power. But then that became the narrative of
what I believed, and so then I was this sort
(03:40):
of self fulfilling prophecy because it's like, oh, I don't
get good grades, so because that's just not my thing,
I'm more social, I show up in this way. And
I lived out that that storyline and well into my
adult years. I would say the years that I ended
up doing the most work with that would be the
last four or five years or so. And now I believe, no,
(04:02):
I am, I am capable, and I can measure up,
and I can do certain things that I never thought
I would be able to do because I wasn't smart
enough to do them.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Absolutely. Yeah, And it's so interesting because you know, for
for all like that's and thank you for sharing that,
because I think we can all relate to that of
like what was that thing that we believed? And who knows,
you could tell us this or not, but I'm curious
to hear if that is what caused you to be like, Okay,
if I'm not smart enough, I'm gonna go be as
you know whatever with my body as I can be.
And that's where we go to try hyper control something.
(04:33):
When we feel out of control in one area of
our life, we're like, well, this is something I can control,
because at the end of the day, of the food stuff,
a lot of it is like this control.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I think what people did come to me for was
wellness advice, not the I was qualified or they should
have been taking it from me, but I knew a
lot about diets.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, so you call it smart at that.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Let's not even call it wellness because this is the
nineties and into the two thousands and then even the
twenty tens. But I was kind of the go to
of what's the latest diet trend? Of course I've done it,
what's the latest workout trend? Because of course I was
doing it, so that became my thing. People would come
(05:11):
to me for information about that, and so you know,
I was proud of it at the time. Uh, it's
exhausting thinking back on all the different things that I
tried but pretty much did it all.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, and that's so interesting And it did all come
from this idea or you know, I'm not smart, so
you finally got to be smart in that and recognized
by it and getting attention for it. And so it's
interesting and not that we have to go like psychoanalyze these,
but like understanding is like where something happened, like why
we did what we did, and just having that quick
awareness is like, oh, it enables us to have the compassion.
(05:43):
Like so for me, I'm like, oh, sweet, sweet little Leanne,
No wonder you went down that road of thinking you
had to prove how smart, how successful, how whatever you
were because you felt broken and you felt like weren't
adding up and you felt like there was a lot
of negative attention on your body, right, and so being
able to give ourselves that compassion, right. I think another
big thing too, and you know this could be its
(06:05):
own episode in itself, is that outside influence and the
comparison itis really comes into this as well. I mean,
I do have compassion for the younger generation who they
are growing up being born into a social media world,
Like we didn't have that. It came later on when
we did have that emotional armor. But you know, seeing
you know, the comparison is the thief of joy, as
they say, right, And talking about this idea of how
(06:27):
we perceive ourselves as not measuring up is one thing,
but then how we are putting ourselves in this kind
of you know, measuring stick contest compared to what we
think other people are doing or thinking or whatever. Right,
So I think we also can't talk about this subject
without talking about the influence of other people, but really
our perception of that.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
What advice do you have for people that are stuck
in a comparison rut?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Obviously it's a bigger topic than that because it's like,
what are you comparing yourself to? And so if my
self image and my identity is one of like there's
something wrong with me all the things fill in the blank,
and like, obviously we're talking about beliefs, so like insert
belief number one, insert belief number two. That's what makes
up our identity. If that's what we are comparing ourselves to,
we're always going to lose, right, or we're always going
(07:12):
to feel like we're playing defense against like protecting ourselves
from outside opinions versus. I prefer to take more of
like an offense approach and be like, Okay, let me
change the root of that, let me change the goggles
that I'm seeing myself through every day, because first of all,
the comparison won't feel as comparison its e. But also
like the kinds of measuring sticks I start using might
change all together too. Hopefully they will if you do
(07:33):
the work. You know, so I believe on kind of
going that direction. But none of us, no matter how resilient,
how self assured you are, are immune to comparison. Right,
So it's knowing what things are doing what they are,
but really standing in the knowingness of who you are.
It'll matter. It's not that it won't matter, but it
just won't make a difference. It won't shake you.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Another thing you can do on the offense, especially when
it comes to social media, is take inventory of who
you're following and doing an audit every couple of months.
It may change, like something could be seeping into your
mind without you even realizing it, like you're just sort
of flipping through and you one month, aren't really impacted
by someone's account, and then a couple months later you
(08:12):
might be like, wait a second, this is impacting me
in a more negative way than I previously thought. So
I'm going to take inventory here and either mute this
account for a little bit or unfollow. If it's someone
that you don't really know, and that doesn't matter, but
I could see if it's a friend that might be
having that impact on you and you don't want to
hurt their feelings or you don't want to draw attention
to it, then muting is an option. And then that
(08:32):
way you can give yourself that piece and that space
to reset. And that's being on the offense. That's being
proactive and you're not harming anybody else in the process,
but you are taking care of you.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah. Absolutely, And Amy knows this about me personally, Like
anytime we talk, it's like, do you have social media
on your phone today? Or you know, like I'm constantly
taking them on and off because it's part of one
of the ways that I do kind of protect my
energy and give myself the ability to really, you know,
take rockual ownership of influencing me, you know, And so
I actually I'll totally plug this. I just came out
(09:04):
with an episode on What's God Got to Do with
It called Navigating the Noise how to find Peace in
a World of Overstimulation, and I actually shared my thoughts
about if you do want to take a little bit
of the digital detox, because when we're talking about doing
that inner work on ourselves, sometimes it's not that I'm
hiding from social media, but sometimes I'm just actively choosing
to insulate myself a little bit, you know, and choose
what I've influencing myself around. I go narrow and deeper
(09:27):
into that and in that episode, so we'll link that
in the show notes.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I love that, So go listen to that episode for
more in depth on that, because I think it's something
we could all benefit from. But I also want to
remind people too that there is space for everybody, because
sometimes even on socials, we can look at what someone
else is doing and think like, oh, well, they're already
doing that, so I just probably shouldn't do it because
they're doing it better than me. And again I'll never
(09:51):
measure up to that.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, But point.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Mel Robbins is really good at reminding people of this
that there is room for everybody. There is space out there,
So don't let that stop you from measuring up because
you are able to. And instead of being jealous or
comparing yourself and be like h just getting frustrated, celebrate
(10:15):
other people's wins, Celebrate their accomplishments, Celebrate how they're measuring
up for themselves, because then you're putting out that energy
and that energy will be matched.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Absolutely. Yeah, I just got goosebums because I was thinking
about somebody that I'm working with right now. I'll just
call her K for inanimity, thank you. But so I'm
smiling because I'm so proud of her because when we
first came together to work together, one of the things
that she told me is she's like Leanne and I
believe she's in her sixties, Yes, she's in her sixties,
and she's like, I am ready to take up space.
(10:48):
She's like, I'm a creative person and she has all
these talents and she's like, I'm ready to take up
space and not having anything to do with my body.
And so now when we're doing our coaching, like everything
in her she just needed that that to click for her,
and now everything she talks about is in the language
of like her taking up space, and it's the physical
and it's metaphorical, right. But so for when we're hustling
(11:09):
for our worthiness, a lot of times we shrink ourselves
or we hide and we don't want that light on us,
and we don't give ourselves permission to be seen, and
we don't give ourselves permission to take up space and
be on this metaphorical microphone and let ourselves talk and
let ourselves be heard, and we diminish and we shove
down and we shrink. And so I think that's another
big thing that I just want to impress upon your minds,
like you do not have to shrink. But that's not
(11:31):
something that somebody can give you a magic permission slip
to do. You've got to be the one to say, hey,
I'm done hiding, I'm done shrinking because I haven't gotten
to this metaphorical you know, measuring stick yet, which goes
into you know, all the things that we've talked about,
especially episode one of this series, you know, like where
are you shrinking yourself because you haven't reached that. I'll
be happy when marker as well. So these beliefs can
really mold and mesh together.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I think a good exercise to lead people with would
be the self endorsement journaling. So can you walk people
through what that is so that it's an exercise maybe
they can try out.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah. The short version of this is, like, imagine every
single day you're in a car going metaphorically south in
the direction of thinking about what you're not doing and
who you're not being, and what's not working, and what
you don't have and what you don't like about yourself.
Practicing that every single day in your thoughts where you're failing,
where you're not adding up. That becomes your self image.
And so in order to turn from like self self
deprecation and self criticism and self rejection in order to
(12:26):
change in the direction of like, you know, self appreciation
or self acceptance or gratitude or or what or even
just connecting to who you are becoming, changing your self
image and your self endorsement of yourself. That is a practice.
And so it's you know, basically, little by little, it's
about turning that car north, turning that car north, turning
that car north in the direction of self endorsement. Right,
(12:47):
And it doesn't happen overnight, and you're gonna get in
the car tomorrow, and it's gonna start going south and
you're gonna have to turn it around, and then you're
gonna have to turn around. You have to turn around.
But eventually it's gonna start instead of going south, it's
gonna go south east, and then it's gonna start going
east east, and then it's gonna go north. So then
eventually it's going to go nor. So everything I'm saying
right now when I'm about to share is not like
a one and done band aid. It is a process.
But if you can start turning your brain every single
(13:10):
day in a journal in the direction of just acknowledging
and maybe like listing almost like a listicle, this is
what I am doing. This is who I am being,
This is what I'm like working towards. This is who
I am becoming. Because here's the thing. Your brand is
either positively anticipating your future like faith, hope, belief, certainty,
or you are negatively anticipating your future assuming failure, negatively
(13:33):
anticipating your future worry, dread, anxiety, all those things. It's
happening either way. So it's just if all you do
is turn that car around north every single day, that's
the only way to change what's going on inside. So
just literally on a piece of paper, I'm acknowledging myself
for this. I'm grateful about myself for this, or I'm
grateful for what I did here, past, present, and future.
(13:55):
And again this is just the cliff notes version. It
will change the game.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Well, you think about about what you focus on. Girls,
that's something of a meditation that I do, and I
hear the person's voice of my head. Several meditations I've
done before say those things, but I kind of hear
the voice and it's like what you think about, you
bring about what you focus on grows and there's such
truth to that. LeAnn. Where can people find you.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
If you want to learn how to kind of peel
back the curtain of what's going on in your own brain,
self image, and spirit. Head on over to Stresslessseeing dot
com and I've showed you the system that I teach
my clients.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
And on socials. She is at Leanne Ellington, I got you, girl,
and I am at Radio Amy. Well see you next
time for part four Next Saturday will be Part four.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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