May 29, 2025 • 23 mins
Amy & Kat share an email from a listener working in a male dominated profession. She asked to remain anonymous and shared that a supervisor, in front of numerous other people, said he didn’t think that she should do a portion of her job because she is a woman. She didn’t say anything at the time and redirected the conversation, but she’d now like to talk with him about these comments in a non-confrontational way, so she wrote in asking for advice on how to do this in a productive manner.
First off, Amy & Kat are proud of her for being able to hold composure after he said something so offensive and secondly, they’re glad she wants to have a conversation with this supervisor (because what he said is not okay!)
They offer their advice and hopefully what they share (like the ‘sandwich technique’ and more) will be helpful to any of you that need to have a tough conversation.
Book Recommendation: The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More By Jefferson Fisher
Tomorrow 5/30 is the final day to get 25% off snail serum products. Click HERE and use code HAPPY25 for discount!
Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won home,
Amy and Cat gotcha covin locking them brother, Ladies and folks,
do you just follow an the spirit where it's all
the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and
the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can
do it just stop you feel things. This is Feeling
(00:27):
Things with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Have you Thursday, Welcome to Couch Shocks, our Q and
a episode to the Feeling Things podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat And quick disclaimer before we
get into our question. Although we're answering your question, this
podcast does not serve as a replacement or a substitute
for actual therapy. Even though I'm a therapist. We still hope,
I hope so in some way.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Definitely hope it helps. And I'm not a therapist. No,
but you go to therapy.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
But we like the disclaimer because yeah, we don't know
all the details.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It's it's hard. There's a lot of nuance.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
And this email is from a listener who's asked to
remain anonymous. Hey, there, loving the podcast and the dynamic
you guys have looking for some advice on how to
approach a situation at work. I work in a male
dominated profession. I'm typically the only female in the room.
I've recently started in a new division. I have a
(01:22):
lot of experience at what I do, but I'm new
to this part. Recently, a supervisor that I don't typically
work with, in front of numerous other people, said he
didn't think that I should do a portion of my
job because I'm a woman. I didn't say anything at
the time and redirected the conversation. I'm wanting to have
(01:43):
a conversation with him about these comments in a non confrontational,
non threatening way. Is there any advice on how to
word this that could create a productive conversation about why
speech like that is not appropriate in the workplace? Please
keep this anonymous smiley face. Love you guys, Thanks for
all that you do.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh what would you do if somebody said that in
the moment.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
I don't know if I could just brush over that
in the moment. To be honest, I'm trying to picture
exactly what I would do, and like, right now, what I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Picturing is me being like, excuse me, Yeah, can you
did you? Did you just say that I shouldn't do
something because I'm a woman.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Like I, what is it twenty twenty five?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Like what decade are we in?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Well?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think sometimes I don't know. But also I probably
would have been like, Okay, I'll do what it is. Okay, thanks,
I think, yeah, you're right totally. I'm a woman. I
saw you do it. You're a man. Men do everything well.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I was gonna say kudos to her for keeping her
composure yeah, and redirecting yeah, because sometimes that's not the
best environment. Sometimes it is the best environment to be
able to like nip it in the bud then. But
the same time, if he's in front of a bunch
of people, he could have kind of clapped back at you,
and that would have made things worse.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
But there's no way the bunch of other people that
saw that, but nobody else, it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Sounds like nobody else said anything.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I think if so, but in front of me, I
think it would have been easier if they didn't say
it to me, but they said it in my presence.
I would have had an easier time being like, can
you repeat what you just said? I just want to
make sure I heard you.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
So are you saying because I have a vagina that
I can't do my job.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Is that what you're saying? That would be helpful?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Way? And then I got kick him in the balls
and be like, see how you.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Do your job right now? And it's like this is
why this is not therapy. Yeah, yeah, this is no.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I'm just like that's what I would want to do,
but yeah, I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh yeah I think so, but I feel like that's
a fair response.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Yeah, and potentially like yeah, I don't know if they
have an HR department, Like, I don't know what her
work situation is, Like she said it is male dominated,
So maybe it's just that's the culture there. Who knows
if like speak like that and behavior like that might
be more common than unfortunately we we.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Think, well it shouldn't be that way.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So my first thought in this was, depending on her
work environment and what company she works for, does doesn't
need to be reported to HR?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Is this need be documented?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Because you kind of need document it, dred percent, like
you even have our email, Like I would start journaling,
and because you work in this and because that was said,
if you haven't been documenting anything, I would document everything.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Now document document document.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Journal, journal journal date date date.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah, but kudos to you for being able to remain
calm in that situation, because I wonder if that kind
of speech happens a lot and she's kind of immune
to it. But that was so blatant that she was like,
I'm gonna circle back to.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
This because now I want to look at him and
be like, do you have a wife, do you have
a daughter, do you have a sister? Clearly have a
mother because you were put on this planet.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
It sounds like this has hit a nerve for you.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
No, I'm just annoyed for her.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
So she's asking us for tips of how to approach
the conversation, to do it in a healthy way. So
here's my first feedback to anybody who wants to have
a confrontation, which we can also call a care frontation.
Confrontation sounds at the cheesy word. The confrontation sounds like
care gary. We used to call that when I worked
in treatment.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Could you imagine? And she's like, hey, do you have
sex for a care frontation?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay, but corporate has weird lingo like that sometimes. Okay,
you know, So I'm just saying it helps digest things
a little better. That's not the feedback.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
So we're gonna set this up.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
If you want to have a care frontation, this is
what you need to do, kat take it away care frontation.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Well, so my first thought this isn't to do something,
but my first thought is we can only have healthy
confrontations with people who are healthy. So if I go
to you to have we've done this, we have something
goes on. We're both people who are willing to hear
and accept our faults and do better and own our stuff. Right,
(05:42):
if you're working in a toxic work environment with people
who are not willing to do that, it doesn't matter
what you do, it might not be the healthiest of conversations.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
So I'm just.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Giving that as a disclaimer on top that you can
do all the things that we're going to share, not
sh couple things. You can do those things, It doesn't
mean it's going to go well because the other person
has to also be willing to be in a healthy conversation.
You can't make them by doing that by anything we say.
So just know that going in, and that's why making
(06:13):
things simple and very clear is the best, and being
prepared and having expectations. So if or when somebody comes
back with some defensiveness or some gas slighting type of responses.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
You probably will get that from this guy.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
You can just repeat the same things over and over,
like you have your stuff ready, you say that you
don't have to engage in a long dialogue. If it
gets confusing, that's when you say, thank you for having
this conversation with me, and then.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
You walk away. Ooh, what's that one saying from that
one guy?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
That one? You know that one.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
He's a lawyers, Like I can't think of his name
right now, but ah, dang, shoot, well it's his name,
Chris Steven, Scott Paul.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
His name is like Thomas Johnson or that's something very
He's a lawyer.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
He's a lawyer. Book, he's a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
He wrote a book, he has sayings, he's he's been
on everybody. He's on Diary of the CEO. But my
sister she saw him on something or listened to him
on a podcast where he had like a really great
I remember it this differently. I remember it differently. Yeah, well,
I remember it differently. Like if someone's trying to act
like if say, you do have it, you try to
(07:24):
have a confrontation with this guy and he's like, that's
not what I said.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
You'd be like, I remember it differently. So, Shannon, can
you find the name of that book?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
We gave you some really good He's a guy, he's
from Texas.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
He's a lawyer. He was on Diary of CEO. He's young,
and he's cute.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Google that he's a young, cute lawyer.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But if you maybe.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Asking if he's single, if you what I actually think,
listening to the episode of him on Diary of CEO
before you have this conversation is probably gonna be helpful
because he gave tips. I listened to it and clearly
they stuck in my head. But he gave tips of
how to deal with difficult people because he's he works
on like defense law or something. And he also gave
(08:08):
you tips on how to spot a liar. He said,
when people respond really fast, that makes them seem like
they're lying.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
I always saw that, and then it made me be like, well,
sometimes I just responded, really doesn't mean I'm lying. So
Jefferson Fisher, Jefferson Shefferdisher.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Okay, how are you gonna remember his name?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
The next conversation is the book he just wrote.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Okay, this is how we're gonna remember him. Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Say it, Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I can't do it like you again, Okay, Jefferson Fisher.
Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Sounds like you're gonna your voice is gonna go.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Out, Jefferson Fisher. The next conversation, I remember. You don't
get defensive.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
You just go I remember, I remember that differently. I
remember things. I remember that differently. That's interesting you remember
it that way, because that's not how I remember it.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Okay, well then you're getting a little sassy, so you
can just say just say, oh, I remember things differently.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Gosh, I remember that differently. Yes, okay, perfect?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Oh you like me adding the gosh? Yeah, okay, add that, hey, Jefferson,
add that. Gosh, gosh, can.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
You edit your book?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Gosh, I remember that differently. Oh gee gee, oh oh
oh gee, I remember the cheek golly, I remember that differently. Okay,
don't wear like Midwest.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, you don't have to say that when you talk
to this person.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Okay, So we need to have a good expectation, carefrontation,
but with expectations, yes.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And okay, go prepared with what you want to get
out of it and what you want to say, what
you want them to hear, and it make it really simple,
really clear, because clear is kind, you.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Love that, and unclear is unkind. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Also, when you're having confrontations with people, this sounds manipulative,
and maybe it is, but it just helps like calm
the waters a little bit. Is we start with something positive,
so you don't go in there and like I have
a bone to pick with you, or you know, I
had a problem with what you said. You go in
and you pick something. It can be anything. It can
be like, oh, I love that picture that you have
(10:05):
hanging in your office. Where did you get that? Start
with something positive, kind of bring their defenses down. Or
you can say, you know, in that meeting that idea
you had about blank, I love that. I hope that
we go with that. And speaking of that meeting, there's
something that you said that I wanted to get some
clarification on. So he's hearing that and he's like, oh,
she likes my idea, you know. And that's with anything
(10:27):
that can be with something that we go to our
partners with. Let's say our partner didn't take out the
trash or they.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Did it wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You know, thank you so much for remembering to take
the trash out. I want to remind you that we
like to put the bag in like this versus.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Like you didn't put them in.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Your partner would be like, we like that, but I
never than like you didn't put it in right. Speaking
of relationships, I saw Donald Miller pose something about him
and his wife, and they don't moralize like the dishwasher,
like there's no right or wrong way. There is a
preferred way. So you could say like, hey, you know,
I prefer it this way, but it's not like you've
(11:04):
somebody's done something wrong because there's not a right or
a wrong way.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
But actually with the dishwasher, I really feel like there
is a wrong way and.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
There's a wrong way to put the trash bag in
and then it comes out and then the food's getting
all over the place. But see, that's good feedback that
Don Miller is giving because it's really not that big
of video and it is a preference. But when we
go in and say, hey, thanks for remembering to take
the trash out, that's so nice that I don't have to.
That's not something I have to do anymore. And I
(11:33):
wanted to remind you that I prefer it this way.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Yeah, because it helps just like food getting everywhere.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Oh but see, I think then the person is less
on the defense. And if you use the word preferred,
so even though it is the way you prefer it,
and you're asking, it's like a request, then they're more
likely to be like, oh, yeah, you know what, you're right,
you have.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Told me that, instead of like, oh, well sorry, I
did it wrong again. I'm just a loser an idiot. Yeah,
I'm a loser. You're an idiot. You suck. And then
it's not and then you start to fight.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Well, if it's not all or nothing thinking, I'm not
saying you do everything wrong or you do this wrong
all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
It's I'm naming something you do right, doing right.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
The same thing with this guy. You're not coming at him,
you're not trying to start a fight. You're creating neutral ground.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
You like his picture on his wall, you liked his
idea in the meeting.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And if you hate this guy, like if you really
like just your skin crawls when you hear this, that's
when you resort to like, oh I love that knickknack
on your desk. Oh that's a nice pen to somebody
give that to you. Yeah, like you can find when
I get that, like your chair. When I taught cycling,
I had to do the auditions for people, and like
anybody could audition, so somebody who had never done it before.
(12:39):
And when you give them feedback, you don't want to
be mean.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
And we had to give feedback after every audition.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
So if I couldn't think of anything that they did well,
because like some people just there isn't anything and that's
not bad.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
That might have been me when I started.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I would say your leggings are so cute. Oh okay,
First of all, I love your leggings, and then I
would give feedback so it's easier to receive versus me
just starting. You did this wrong and this was bad
and what made you think you could?
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I mean, I would never say it like that, but
first of all, I love your leggings. Second of all,
you seemed your routine. No, you still can make me?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, so kind of even the playing field. And then
clear as kind state hey, like remember that thing that
you said, state the facts?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
What if he says I was just joking, Okay, So
this is.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What I this is what I would say. And again
I don't have a joke. I don't have a lot
of facts, so playing right, but I would say hey,
(13:51):
but I would say, hey, you know the meeting, I
remember you saying I.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Shouldn't do this part of the job because.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I'm I'm a woman, and I just wanted to come
and get some clarity on that. And I'm kind of
wondering what you meant when you said that. H So
you're asking for their perspective versus just coming at them.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Yes, I have maybe something to add that also could
be seen as manipulative. Okay, she could say, and I'm
clarifying because I know that you respect women, like you
sort of like you tell them what they what you
want them to think, like because you're clear find because
you have a daughter, right, yeah, like you, I know
you respect women and you want to respect women. So
(14:29):
just looking for some like you plant that seed. I
guess I've seen that on.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Really credible sources on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
You're reminding someone how to show up because you want
them to show up that way. But it sort of
can trick their brain into being like, oh, yeah, I
do want to respect women, or I do respect women,
and you're reminding them. Maybe it's just a little, yeah,
little little something you could add, you.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Can pull into that intentional dialogue that we've talked about,
like the story I'm making up, Like, hey, I remember
you saying this, and I don't want to make up
a story about whether or not you respect women or not.
So I just wanted to get some clarity on what
you meant when you said that. Then you let them talk,
and then you set a boundary. And this is when
(15:12):
if it goes dicey, you just set the boundary and
you say thanks for your time, and you walk out.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Well, what's an example of a boundary, like a.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Boundary of like that kind of language is not going
to work for me in these types of meanings. And
I would appreciate it if you don't keep me out
of certain things because I'm a woman. But you might
have to say it as cutthroat as that, depending on
what he says. But also, don't be afraid. He said
he said his stuff with some sounds like some power
(15:39):
in him, So don't be afraid to give that back.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Well, it is hard though, if I mean, I don't
know his position in it, but I could see like it.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Is he a manager, she said, she's new to the division,
or a supervisor?
Speaker 4 (15:52):
He is a supervisor, so I could see where you know,
there's an imbalance of power, so we can't often sometimes
say what we want. If our boss is acting a
certain way, I just look at him and be like,
by the way I contacted HR.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That's why I would like somewhere and I'm keeping a
journal one some environments they would say, go do that first,
So this is oh, I would do that first. I
think you have to kind of assess your work situation
and what would be the safest for you, because you
also you don't want there to be your retaliation.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I'm so scared of retaliation.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
In fact, like I would be so scared, which I
don't want to put this fear in anybody else, but
I would be like, because I haven't ever had to
go to HR about anything, but like if I did,
like I would think, like, how can I trust HR?
And what if HR is friends with whatever whoever I'm
talking about, and then HR, you know, calls and says something,
and then I mean, I know they can't.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Do that, but no, this reminds me of well because
it's supposed to be anonymous, because anybody in that meeting
could have reported that he said that, and I would
hope that somebody else would have done that, like, hey,
that's not cool. But this reminds me of that show
that we watched. I stopped watching Friends and Neighbors with
John Ham because there was an HR violation but it
was anonymous but the girl didn't even report it.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Yeah, that was crazy to me that they used it
to get him out because they were wanting to fire him,
and that that shows crazy crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
That situation is crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
And then what do you do because your boss has
power and money and all the things, and there's no
way he was gonna win that.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And that was man on man. That was scary.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think we have some feedback from the room.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Cryocat was saying that she once hired an attorney to
write a letter to send where to HR and to
the owners of the company. So you can also say, like,
I'm serious because this is illegal.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
It gets illegal to discriminate somebody in the workplace because
they're a woman. Yeah, so remember.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
That it says a supervisor I don't typically work with
in front of numerous people, said he didn't think I
should do a portion of my job because I'm a woman.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I mean, yeah, yeah, I was trying to have a
calm response to this.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
The more we talk about it, and I'm like.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Oh, I know, I'm like, get send me his email anonymous.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, I want to call this guy and be like,
what your prid? Also, can I just.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Say it's frustrating as a woman to even have to
have this conversation, like it's that's so for men are
not sitting around talking having Like somebody said, I shouldn't
do this as a as a man, and I want
to know how I should approach her about it. Like
there's just such still a distortion of power in the
working environment, and sometimes I forget that because I work
with all females.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
And you're the boss and I'm the boss.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, and that's a lot of care foundations.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I'm gonna say, that's why we only have women in
this room. However, Houston, our producer, is a man. Hey Houston,
what a thank you for being an awesome man.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
We would allow men in this room, though, I'm like,
I would.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Could you imagine if a guy walked in, I'd be like, sorry.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Monsell helped us do a lot of video stuff in
the beginning.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
He's a guy. He's a guy. He's very kind and
we have, like, what have we determined? Now? Thirteen A
male list.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I got two more male YouTube subscribers this weekend.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Okay, yeah, how do you know they were males?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Because I, oh, you recruited the recruited them and I said, hey, YouTube,
will you subscribe to my channel?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Perfect loves it? Yeah, I loves it?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
All right, So I have I wish I said this
in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Maybe I did.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I'm sorry that this happened and this is really messed up.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Yeah, but she's definitely not the only one out there
that something like this is happening too. So I hope
that this conversation was helpful in some way, shape or
form if you're going through this, and if it wasn't,
at least sure you know you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, So start with document, document, document, and.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Know your truth and know it's okay that you remembered
something differently.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
It doesn't mean you're making it up.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Yes, you will be made to feel as though you
you are, that you're delusional.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I think that book would probably be so helpful for
somebody in that experience like that does Happen?
Speaker 2 (19:55):
By Jefferson Jefferson Fisher. Fisher called the next conversation.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Yeah, yeah, Shoot, the tactic didn't help me because all
I was Jefferson.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
But hey, first name is the start. Yeah, Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
The next conversation, Jefferson Fisher, the next conversation, Jefferson Fisher,
the next conversation.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
That's how Amy's going to start remembering names. But if
you if you don't have time to read the book.
Lili's listened to that podcast on Diary of CEO. I
only listened to half of it. The first half was
really good.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Boom boom, boom bang. Okay, thank you for your question.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yeah, we can link the book in the show notes
as well, just in case anybody else has trouble remembering
things like we do, which like, you know that cute guy.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He's a lawyer and he has good sayings, and he's
from Texas. He's been on podcasts all over and he
has Instagram. You know who we were talking about.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
I knew, I knew, I knew, I know other people.
I know who she's talking about, Like, we just didn't
know his name. So hit us up for couch Talks.
You can your thoughts, questions, feedback. If you've been through
something similar, maybe you have advice for anonymous that you
can share or send this episode to any of your
(21:11):
people you work with that are men that are condescending
towards women. Send them this episode and then we'll be like,
they'll hear that like how we really feel we just
want to like kick.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Them in the don't start with that, because then you
are guilty of workplace like yeah, oh yeah, this is
what I don't work though. But this is also like
I this is easier said than done, but I try
to not let other people's actions and ways of treating
(21:42):
me change the way I treat people, like I still
want to respect people and be kind and sometimes it's
really like I said, easier said than done, but you
don't want to turn into somebody that you're not because
somebody else has a skewed view of women and what
women can do.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Oh, I was joking. But that's something that.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I have to remind myself and I start because I mean,
you've heard me get like that before, Like I have
to remind myself, like I still like to treat people
with kindness.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I still want to be a kind person.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
That doesn't mean somebody deserves my time and attention, but
I don't want to change who I am because somebody
else's that's character.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
So it's like, it's easy when things are going really
well for you. Megan Patrick, she's a country artist, and
she recently posted something about this just as a reminder
for herself and other people, because she was like, Hey,
I was just thinking about this and I want to
get online and share it. And she was talking about
characters specifically, and like, when things are going really, really well,
it's easy to show up as your best self. And
when things aren't going well, when you still show up
(22:40):
as your best self, that's character.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yeah. So you know, boom, it's tough to have. Yeah. Yeah,
So we'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Hey. They're at feelingthingspodcast dot com and our phone number,
all the things in the show notes, follow us on socials,
and most importantly, we hope.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
You have the day you need to help. Bye bye
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won home,
Amy and Cat gotcha covin locking them brother, Ladies and folks,
do you just follow an the spirit where it's all
the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and
the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can
do it just stop you feel things. This is Feeling
(00:27):
Things with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Have you Thursday, Welcome to Couch Shocks, our Q and
a episode to the Feeling Things podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat And quick disclaimer before we
get into our question. Although we're answering your question, this
podcast does not serve as a replacement or a substitute
for actual therapy. Even though I'm a therapist. We still hope,
I hope so in some way.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Definitely hope it helps. And I'm not a therapist. No,
but you go to therapy.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
But we like the disclaimer because yeah, we don't know
all the details.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It's it's hard. There's a lot of nuance.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
And this email is from a listener who's asked to
remain anonymous. Hey, there, loving the podcast and the dynamic
you guys have looking for some advice on how to
approach a situation at work. I work in a male
dominated profession. I'm typically the only female in the room.
I've recently started in a new division. I have a
(01:22):
lot of experience at what I do, but I'm new
to this part. Recently, a supervisor that I don't typically
work with, in front of numerous other people, said he
didn't think that I should do a portion of my
job because I'm a woman. I didn't say anything at
the time and redirected the conversation. I'm wanting to have
(01:43):
a conversation with him about these comments in a non confrontational,
non threatening way. Is there any advice on how to
word this that could create a productive conversation about why
speech like that is not appropriate in the workplace? Please
keep this anonymous smiley face. Love you guys, Thanks for
all that you do.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh what would you do if somebody said that in
the moment.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
I don't know if I could just brush over that
in the moment. To be honest, I'm trying to picture
exactly what I would do, and like, right now, what I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Picturing is me being like, excuse me, Yeah, can you
did you? Did you just say that I shouldn't do
something because I'm a woman.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Like I, what is it twenty twenty five?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Like what decade are we in?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Well?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think sometimes I don't know. But also I probably
would have been like, Okay, I'll do what it is. Okay, thanks,
I think, yeah, you're right totally. I'm a woman. I
saw you do it. You're a man. Men do everything well.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I was gonna say kudos to her for keeping her
composure yeah, and redirecting yeah, because sometimes that's not the
best environment. Sometimes it is the best environment to be
able to like nip it in the bud then. But
the same time, if he's in front of a bunch
of people, he could have kind of clapped back at you,
and that would have made things worse.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
But there's no way the bunch of other people that
saw that, but nobody else, it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Sounds like nobody else said anything.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I think if so, but in front of me, I
think it would have been easier if they didn't say
it to me, but they said it in my presence.
I would have had an easier time being like, can
you repeat what you just said? I just want to
make sure I heard you.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
So are you saying because I have a vagina that
I can't do my job.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Is that what you're saying? That would be helpful?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Way? And then I got kick him in the balls
and be like, see how you.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Do your job right now? And it's like this is
why this is not therapy. Yeah, yeah, this is no.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I'm just like that's what I would want to do,
but yeah, I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh yeah I think so, but I feel like that's
a fair response.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Yeah, and potentially like yeah, I don't know if they
have an HR department, Like, I don't know what her
work situation is, Like she said it is male dominated,
So maybe it's just that's the culture there. Who knows
if like speak like that and behavior like that might
be more common than unfortunately we we.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Think, well it shouldn't be that way.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So my first thought in this was, depending on her
work environment and what company she works for, does doesn't
need to be reported to HR?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Is this need be documented?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Because you kind of need document it, dred percent, like
you even have our email, Like I would start journaling,
and because you work in this and because that was said,
if you haven't been documenting anything, I would document everything.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Now document document document.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Journal, journal journal date date date.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah, but kudos to you for being able to remain
calm in that situation, because I wonder if that kind
of speech happens a lot and she's kind of immune
to it. But that was so blatant that she was like,
I'm gonna circle back to.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
This because now I want to look at him and
be like, do you have a wife, do you have
a daughter, do you have a sister? Clearly have a
mother because you were put on this planet.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
It sounds like this has hit a nerve for you.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
No, I'm just annoyed for her.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
So she's asking us for tips of how to approach
the conversation, to do it in a healthy way. So
here's my first feedback to anybody who wants to have
a confrontation, which we can also call a care frontation.
Confrontation sounds at the cheesy word. The confrontation sounds like
care gary. We used to call that when I worked
in treatment.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Could you imagine? And she's like, hey, do you have
sex for a care frontation?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay, but corporate has weird lingo like that sometimes. Okay,
you know, So I'm just saying it helps digest things
a little better. That's not the feedback.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
So we're gonna set this up.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
If you want to have a care frontation, this is
what you need to do, kat take it away care frontation.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Well, so my first thought this isn't to do something,
but my first thought is we can only have healthy
confrontations with people who are healthy. So if I go
to you to have we've done this, we have something
goes on. We're both people who are willing to hear
and accept our faults and do better and own our stuff. Right,
(05:42):
if you're working in a toxic work environment with people
who are not willing to do that, it doesn't matter
what you do, it might not be the healthiest of conversations.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
So I'm just.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Giving that as a disclaimer on top that you can
do all the things that we're going to share, not
sh couple things. You can do those things, It doesn't
mean it's going to go well because the other person
has to also be willing to be in a healthy conversation.
You can't make them by doing that by anything we say.
So just know that going in, and that's why making
(06:13):
things simple and very clear is the best, and being
prepared and having expectations. So if or when somebody comes
back with some defensiveness or some gas slighting type of responses.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
You probably will get that from this guy.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
You can just repeat the same things over and over,
like you have your stuff ready, you say that you
don't have to engage in a long dialogue. If it
gets confusing, that's when you say, thank you for having
this conversation with me, and then.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
You walk away. Ooh, what's that one saying from that
one guy?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
That one? You know that one.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
He's a lawyers, Like I can't think of his name
right now, but ah, dang, shoot, well it's his name,
Chris Steven, Scott Paul.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
His name is like Thomas Johnson or that's something very
He's a lawyer.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
He's a lawyer. Book, he's a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
He wrote a book, he has sayings, he's he's been
on everybody. He's on Diary of the CEO. But my
sister she saw him on something or listened to him
on a podcast where he had like a really great
I remember it this differently. I remember it differently. Yeah, well,
I remember it differently. Like if someone's trying to act
like if say, you do have it, you try to
(07:24):
have a confrontation with this guy and he's like, that's
not what I said.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
You'd be like, I remember it differently. So, Shannon, can
you find the name of that book?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
We gave you some really good He's a guy, he's
from Texas.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
He's a lawyer. He was on Diary of CEO. He's young,
and he's cute.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Google that he's a young, cute lawyer.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But if you maybe.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Asking if he's single, if you what I actually think,
listening to the episode of him on Diary of CEO
before you have this conversation is probably gonna be helpful
because he gave tips. I listened to it and clearly
they stuck in my head. But he gave tips of
how to deal with difficult people because he's he works
on like defense law or something. And he also gave
(08:08):
you tips on how to spot a liar. He said,
when people respond really fast, that makes them seem like
they're lying.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
I always saw that, and then it made me be like, well,
sometimes I just responded, really doesn't mean I'm lying. So
Jefferson Fisher, Jefferson Shefferdisher.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Okay, how are you gonna remember his name?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
The next conversation is the book he just wrote.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Okay, this is how we're gonna remember him. Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Say it, Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I can't do it like you again, Okay, Jefferson Fisher.
Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Sounds like you're gonna your voice is gonna go.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Out, Jefferson Fisher. The next conversation, I remember. You don't
get defensive.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
You just go I remember, I remember that differently. I
remember things. I remember that differently. That's interesting you remember
it that way, because that's not how I remember it.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Okay, well then you're getting a little sassy, so you
can just say just say, oh, I remember things differently.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Gosh, I remember that differently. Yes, okay, perfect?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Oh you like me adding the gosh? Yeah, okay, add that, hey, Jefferson,
add that. Gosh, gosh, can.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
You edit your book?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Gosh, I remember that differently. Oh gee gee, oh oh
oh gee, I remember the cheek golly, I remember that differently. Okay,
don't wear like Midwest.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, you don't have to say that when you talk
to this person.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Okay, So we need to have a good expectation, carefrontation,
but with expectations, yes.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And okay, go prepared with what you want to get
out of it and what you want to say, what
you want them to hear, and it make it really simple,
really clear, because clear is kind, you.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Love that, and unclear is unkind. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Also, when you're having confrontations with people, this sounds manipulative,
and maybe it is, but it just helps like calm
the waters a little bit. Is we start with something positive,
so you don't go in there and like I have
a bone to pick with you, or you know, I
had a problem with what you said. You go in
and you pick something. It can be anything. It can
be like, oh, I love that picture that you have
(10:05):
hanging in your office. Where did you get that? Start
with something positive, kind of bring their defenses down. Or
you can say, you know, in that meeting that idea
you had about blank, I love that. I hope that
we go with that. And speaking of that meeting, there's
something that you said that I wanted to get some
clarification on. So he's hearing that and he's like, oh,
she likes my idea, you know. And that's with anything
(10:27):
that can be with something that we go to our
partners with. Let's say our partner didn't take out the
trash or they.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Did it wrong.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You know, thank you so much for remembering to take
the trash out. I want to remind you that we
like to put the bag in like this versus.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Like you didn't put them in.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Your partner would be like, we like that, but I
never than like you didn't put it in right. Speaking
of relationships, I saw Donald Miller pose something about him
and his wife, and they don't moralize like the dishwasher,
like there's no right or wrong way. There is a
preferred way. So you could say like, hey, you know,
I prefer it this way, but it's not like you've
(11:04):
somebody's done something wrong because there's not a right or
a wrong way.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
But actually with the dishwasher, I really feel like there
is a wrong way and.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
There's a wrong way to put the trash bag in
and then it comes out and then the food's getting
all over the place. But see, that's good feedback that
Don Miller is giving because it's really not that big
of video and it is a preference. But when we
go in and say, hey, thanks for remembering to take
the trash out, that's so nice that I don't have to.
That's not something I have to do anymore. And I
(11:33):
wanted to remind you that I prefer it this way.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Yeah, because it helps just like food getting everywhere.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Oh but see, I think then the person is less
on the defense. And if you use the word preferred,
so even though it is the way you prefer it,
and you're asking, it's like a request, then they're more
likely to be like, oh, yeah, you know what, you're right,
you have.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Told me that, instead of like, oh, well sorry, I
did it wrong again. I'm just a loser an idiot. Yeah,
I'm a loser. You're an idiot. You suck. And then
it's not and then you start to fight.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Well, if it's not all or nothing thinking, I'm not
saying you do everything wrong or you do this wrong
all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
It's I'm naming something you do right, doing right.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
The same thing with this guy. You're not coming at him,
you're not trying to start a fight. You're creating neutral ground.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
You like his picture on his wall, you liked his
idea in the meeting.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And if you hate this guy, like if you really
like just your skin crawls when you hear this, that's
when you resort to like, oh I love that knickknack
on your desk. Oh that's a nice pen to somebody
give that to you. Yeah, like you can find when
I get that, like your chair. When I taught cycling,
I had to do the auditions for people, and like
anybody could audition, so somebody who had never done it before.
(12:39):
And when you give them feedback, you don't want to
be mean.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
And we had to give feedback after every audition.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
So if I couldn't think of anything that they did well,
because like some people just there isn't anything and that's
not bad.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
That might have been me when I started.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I would say your leggings are so cute. Oh okay,
First of all, I love your leggings, and then I
would give feedback so it's easier to receive versus me
just starting. You did this wrong and this was bad
and what made you think you could?
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I mean, I would never say it like that, but
first of all, I love your leggings. Second of all,
you seemed your routine. No, you still can make me?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, so kind of even the playing field. And then
clear as kind state hey, like remember that thing that
you said, state the facts?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
What if he says I was just joking, Okay, So
this is.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What I this is what I would say. And again
I don't have a joke. I don't have a lot
of facts, so playing right, but I would say hey,
(13:51):
but I would say, hey, you know the meeting, I
remember you saying I.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Shouldn't do this part of the job because.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
I'm I'm a woman, and I just wanted to come
and get some clarity on that. And I'm kind of
wondering what you meant when you said that. H So
you're asking for their perspective versus just coming at them.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Yes, I have maybe something to add that also could
be seen as manipulative. Okay, she could say, and I'm
clarifying because I know that you respect women, like you
sort of like you tell them what they what you
want them to think, like because you're clear find because
you have a daughter, right, yeah, like you, I know
you respect women and you want to respect women. So
(14:29):
just looking for some like you plant that seed. I
guess I've seen that on.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Really credible sources on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
You're reminding someone how to show up because you want
them to show up that way. But it sort of
can trick their brain into being like, oh, yeah, I
do want to respect women, or I do respect women,
and you're reminding them. Maybe it's just a little, yeah,
little little something you could add, you.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Can pull into that intentional dialogue that we've talked about,
like the story I'm making up, Like, hey, I remember
you saying this, and I don't want to make up
a story about whether or not you respect women or not.
So I just wanted to get some clarity on what
you meant when you said that. Then you let them talk,
and then you set a boundary. And this is when
(15:12):
if it goes dicey, you just set the boundary and
you say thanks for your time, and you walk out.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Well, what's an example of a boundary, like a.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Boundary of like that kind of language is not going
to work for me in these types of meanings. And
I would appreciate it if you don't keep me out
of certain things because I'm a woman. But you might
have to say it as cutthroat as that, depending on
what he says. But also, don't be afraid. He said
he said his stuff with some sounds like some power
(15:39):
in him, So don't be afraid to give that back.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Well, it is hard though, if I mean, I don't
know his position in it, but I could see like it.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Is he a manager, she said, she's new to the division,
or a supervisor?
Speaker 4 (15:52):
He is a supervisor, so I could see where you know,
there's an imbalance of power, so we can't often sometimes
say what we want. If our boss is acting a
certain way, I just look at him and be like,
by the way I contacted HR.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That's why I would like somewhere and I'm keeping a
journal one some environments they would say, go do that first,
So this is oh, I would do that first. I
think you have to kind of assess your work situation
and what would be the safest for you, because you
also you don't want there to be your retaliation.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I'm so scared of retaliation.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
In fact, like I would be so scared, which I
don't want to put this fear in anybody else, but
I would be like, because I haven't ever had to
go to HR about anything, but like if I did,
like I would think, like, how can I trust HR?
And what if HR is friends with whatever whoever I'm
talking about, and then HR, you know, calls and says something,
and then I mean, I know they can't.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Do that, but no, this reminds me of well because
it's supposed to be anonymous, because anybody in that meeting
could have reported that he said that, and I would
hope that somebody else would have done that, like, hey,
that's not cool. But this reminds me of that show
that we watched. I stopped watching Friends and Neighbors with
John Ham because there was an HR violation but it
was anonymous but the girl didn't even report it.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Yeah, that was crazy to me that they used it
to get him out because they were wanting to fire him,
and that that shows crazy crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
That situation is crazy.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
And then what do you do because your boss has
power and money and all the things, and there's no
way he was gonna win that.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And that was man on man. That was scary.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think we have some feedback from the room.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Cryocat was saying that she once hired an attorney to
write a letter to send where to HR and to
the owners of the company. So you can also say, like,
I'm serious because this is illegal.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
It gets illegal to discriminate somebody in the workplace because
they're a woman. Yeah, so remember.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
That it says a supervisor I don't typically work with
in front of numerous people, said he didn't think I
should do a portion of my job because I'm a woman.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I mean, yeah, yeah, I was trying to have a
calm response to this.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
The more we talk about it, and I'm like.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Oh, I know, I'm like, get send me his email anonymous.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, I want to call this guy and be like,
what your prid? Also, can I just.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Say it's frustrating as a woman to even have to
have this conversation, like it's that's so for men are
not sitting around talking having Like somebody said, I shouldn't
do this as a as a man, and I want
to know how I should approach her about it. Like
there's just such still a distortion of power in the
working environment, and sometimes I forget that because I work
with all females.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
And you're the boss and I'm the boss.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, and that's a lot of care foundations.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I'm gonna say, that's why we only have women in
this room. However, Houston, our producer, is a man. Hey Houston,
what a thank you for being an awesome man.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
We would allow men in this room, though, I'm like,
I would.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Could you imagine if a guy walked in, I'd be like, sorry.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Monsell helped us do a lot of video stuff in
the beginning.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
He's a guy. He's a guy. He's very kind and
we have, like, what have we determined? Now? Thirteen A
male list.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I got two more male YouTube subscribers this weekend.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Okay, yeah, how do you know they were males?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Because I, oh, you recruited the recruited them and I said, hey, YouTube,
will you subscribe to my channel?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Perfect loves it? Yeah, I loves it?
Speaker 1 (19:18):
All right, So I have I wish I said this
in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Maybe I did.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I'm sorry that this happened and this is really messed up.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Yeah, but she's definitely not the only one out there
that something like this is happening too. So I hope
that this conversation was helpful in some way, shape or
form if you're going through this, and if it wasn't,
at least sure you know you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, So start with document, document, document, and.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Know your truth and know it's okay that you remembered
something differently.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
It doesn't mean you're making it up.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Yes, you will be made to feel as though you
you are, that you're delusional.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I think that book would probably be so helpful for
somebody in that experience like that does Happen?
Speaker 2 (19:55):
By Jefferson Jefferson Fisher. Fisher called the next conversation.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Yeah, yeah, Shoot, the tactic didn't help me because all
I was Jefferson.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
But hey, first name is the start. Yeah, Jefferson Fisher.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
The next conversation, Jefferson Fisher, the next conversation, Jefferson Fisher,
the next conversation.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
That's how Amy's going to start remembering names. But if
you if you don't have time to read the book.
Lili's listened to that podcast on Diary of CEO. I
only listened to half of it. The first half was
really good.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Boom boom, boom bang. Okay, thank you for your question.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yeah, we can link the book in the show notes
as well, just in case anybody else has trouble remembering
things like we do, which like, you know that cute guy.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He's a lawyer and he has good sayings, and he's
from Texas. He's been on podcasts all over and he
has Instagram. You know who we were talking about.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
I knew, I knew, I knew, I know other people.
I know who she's talking about, Like, we just didn't
know his name. So hit us up for couch Talks.
You can your thoughts, questions, feedback. If you've been through
something similar, maybe you have advice for anonymous that you
can share or send this episode to any of your
(21:11):
people you work with that are men that are condescending
towards women. Send them this episode and then we'll be like,
they'll hear that like how we really feel we just
want to like kick.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Them in the don't start with that, because then you
are guilty of workplace like yeah, oh yeah, this is
what I don't work though. But this is also like
I this is easier said than done, but I try
to not let other people's actions and ways of treating
(21:42):
me change the way I treat people, like I still
want to respect people and be kind and sometimes it's
really like I said, easier said than done, but you
don't want to turn into somebody that you're not because
somebody else has a skewed view of women and what
women can do.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Oh, I was joking. But that's something that.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I have to remind myself and I start because I mean,
you've heard me get like that before, Like I have
to remind myself, like I still like to treat people
with kindness.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I still want to be a kind person.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
That doesn't mean somebody deserves my time and attention, but
I don't want to change who I am because somebody
else's that's character.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
So it's like, it's easy when things are going really
well for you. Megan Patrick, she's a country artist, and
she recently posted something about this just as a reminder
for herself and other people, because she was like, Hey,
I was just thinking about this and I want to
get online and share it. And she was talking about
characters specifically, and like, when things are going really, really well,
it's easy to show up as your best self. And
when things aren't going well, when you still show up
(22:40):
as your best self, that's character.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yeah. So you know, boom, it's tough to have. Yeah. Yeah,
So we'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Hey. They're at feelingthingspodcast dot com and our phone number,
all the things in the show notes, follow us on socials,
and most importantly, we hope.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
You have the day you need to help. Bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
Boysober
Have you ever wondered what life might be like if you stopped worrying about being wanted, and focused on understanding what you actually want? That was the question Hope Woodard asked herself after a string of situationships inspired her to take a break from sex and dating. She went "boysober," a personal concept that sparked a global movement among women looking to prioritize themselves over men. Now, Hope is looking to expand the ways we explore our relationship to relationships. Taking a bold, unfiltered look into modern love, romance, and self-discovery, Boysober will dive into messy stories about dating, sex, love, friendship, and breaking generational patterns—all with humor, vulnerability, and a fresh perspective.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com