July 29, 2025 • 53 mins
Amy’s feeling a mix of fun, cool, vulnerable, and gladness in this episode after attending a hip hop dance class (sporting freshly lasered off brows) with her daughter and Kat introduces us to the term exhausterwhelmulated. Needless to say, there are a lot of feelings happening in this episode. Lastly, Amy’s son’s “nice and slow like hot butter” approach to dating has us cracking up and they discuss emergency contact problems after major life changes…like divorce.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good break it down. If you ever have feelings that
you just won'ts Amy and Cat gotcha covincking No, brother,
Ladies and felts. Do you just follow Anna spirit where
it's all the real stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
To the chill stuff and the.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Jes stop you feel things.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Cat.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm
Cat and I have feelings of the day. Okay, so multiple,
multiple feelings. You want them all, We'll just ruttle them off.
I feel fun, cool, vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And glad. Okay, did something I can.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I can run through all the reasons why I feel
fun and cool because I went to hip hop dance
class last night with my daughter.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Like a workout class. Oh wait, one of those classes
where they teach you a dance and then you do
it for everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Right, it's not.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It wasn't work out, although you do feel like it's
a workout, But it was straight at a hip hop
dance studio, and these girls teaching it they were so cool.
I want to be them. The class ranged from like age.
Ranges of people in class were six year olds to
sixty year olds.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Wait six, you said six.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Anybody could come.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, it's an open call beginner level class, but some
of these people definitely not beginners at all.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
What did you wear?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Sweatpants? A little crop top thing.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I mean, it didn't really show my stomach, but kind
of when I did certain moves it did. And sneakers, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
The part.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And I had a hat on because I had just
had my eyebrows lasered, which some of our listeners have
been following this journey years ago. I had my eyebrows
microbladed and I've been lasering that off. And I had
my third treatment yesterday and at the treatment, it was
so painful A tear rolled down my face.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Just one singular tear.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, I think because I wasn't trying to cry, but
the pain just like pushed out a tear, I guess.
And I knew in that moment if you ever needed
to torture me for information, whatever setting that laser was on,
because I think they were trying to target the specific
spot and the color that's coming through, because now the
brown ink is gone and then there's a red and
(02:21):
orange yellow. It's like the layers of the skin and
whatever level it was on yesterday, it was so painful.
I knew that's how you get me if you need information.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, well now we know. But you went from that
pain okay to a hip hop class.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Well, this is why I feel fun and cool.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I didn't think I was going to go. I'd already
signed us up. And this is something Stushierra has been
wanting to do for months, and it just hasn't worked
with our schedule either her stuff. She's been out of
town a lot. I haven't been able to go. And
the beginner classes are only on Thursday and Saturday nights.
Well I only have her every other Thursday and every
other Saturday.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So it's just been difficult. And had it on the books.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I prepaid, we were registered, and then I realized, oh shoot,
my laser appointment, which I scheduled eight weeks ago, is
on this same day. I said it it should be fine. Well,
but when I leave the laser appointment, I'm in a
lot of pain. My browser red, they're swollen, the hair
is blanched white. I can't put any makeup or anything
(03:22):
on it, which is why I just have a hat
on today, no makeup because when I can cover it
when I can put concealer and then do my faux
brows and draw them on and put my tinted browjell
over my hair. I've got my brow system down. It
took me a while to perfect, but now that I've
got it, I'm like, I got you, no problem.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Are you still using left and snatch?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Lift and snatch is one of your best friends?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I use the Anastasia brow powder obsessed. Well, first step one,
let me tell you it's concealer. Step two, the brow powder.
Step three, lift and snatch, just some little natural strokes.
Step four anastage tinted brow gel Bam.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Done, done, so easy done.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I know people are like, oh, someone even said to me,
oh my gosh, your brows, and I kind of like
snickered inside him, like she has no idea. When I
washed my face, they looked nothing like this.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Wait, so she asked to go to that class specifically
with you.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, something we decided. You know, back in March, we
did that therapy camp. I went with my ex husband,
their dad. We did a co parenting therapy camp just
us like overnight at this place called on site. And
when we were coming up with activities with the therapist.
Of things we could do for dopamine hits, dancing was
(04:39):
one of them, and so that's could be a dance
party in your kitchen or just putting on music when
you're driving and like dancing and singing along. But one
things to share expressed in addition to that would be
taking a dance class. So I had researched and found one,
but it took us till July to finally get our
(05:00):
schedules in alignment to.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Where we could go.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So were you nervous?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I was very nervous, but I knew I was gonna
be there with her, so it was fine. And then
when I got there, there were so many people. And
then when I saw that Summer six, summer sixty, I thought, Okay,
I feel a little more comfortable now because there's so
many people in here and the lights are dark. I
can kind of get away with just being over here
in the corner and moving my body a little bit.
Our dance was too a wickup in the moth.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh kesha, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
But kesha, But I don't, I don't. I think they
have to beat the pet. Don't stop making job bija.
As it goes up to night on the fight to
see Yeah, the bottle of jack, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Wake up in the morning with the bottle edie, TikTok,
make it job?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Do you want me? The dance?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Is that to night?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I care.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I only remember like the first moves are uh and
then uh.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Do you kind of do whatever pose you want and
you hold it and then hold it and then you
and then you drop and then you step.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I was so lost. Some people were so good. I
thought I missed.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I wish I could dance. My god, you missed your calling.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Well. I think if maybe my mom had put me
in proper training early on, then I would be better
at it. But since I never yeah, thanks a lot, Judy,
if I had exercised those muscles, then maybe I wouldn't
be so terrible at it.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, this is sure, you could still get good.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
I considered that.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I thought, I just need to take some privates, Like
if I take some private hip hop classes, and then
maybe I really kind of just get the basics down
and I get my body gets used to feeling it
because I think I'm just it's foreign to me. Yeah,
but if I get it down, I can I feel
like I feel like that could be my thing. But
(06:55):
I really have to commit and go all in.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
But I also feel that me with Potter or with
jewelry making or any of that. It's exciting in the beginning,
but are you gonna keep dancing? But I guess also
this is a skill that could constantly come in Like
imagine you had a wedding doing a hip hop dance.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh, if TikTok comes on anywhere I am, I'll be like,
it'll it'll just seem like I have this just my
body is just doing this. But it's a choreographed routine
that I practiced for hours.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You could have a hip hop TikTok account.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Definitely not. I don't think that would No, I could.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I could barely even perform in front of the cameras.
So they film you so and then you break up
into groups of seven, so there was tons of people.
You break up into groups of seven and you perform
for the camera, and then you have access to the
video so you could post it if you want, or
to study. Well, I think you have to pay extra
(07:54):
and I'm not paying for the video.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I don't want to come on, we want it. Okay,
that could go VI. I'll get the video.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
I'll get the video just for you.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Also, did you perform in front of all the people?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
If I get the video, could we insert it here
in the YouTube?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Okay, well pause in case that happens. Here's the video.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
If it doesn't happen, then.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Wait, so you're performing it? Like, are people watching while
you're doing it?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Everybody in the class?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
And how many people were in the class.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Like sixty or more? I mean it was a brave group.
I am brave, thank you. That's when I should have
put brave. I'm feeling brave. But I think the cool
and fun part came in just because I was there
with Stashira and it's something she really wanted to do.
And I felt like a cool mom and I felt
like a fun mom, and I felt ridiculous and I
(08:45):
was embarrassed. In fact, when the video part came around,
I looked at my group of seven and I was like, hey,
I think y'all, I might let y'all go do it,
and I'm just gonna sneak off into the corner. And
then Sashira sort of looked at me and she's like mom,
And then I felt ridiculous and I thought, who cares?
Then I watched other groups go because we were the
last and final group, and I think it helped me
(09:06):
seeing the other groups because they're just out there having fun. Now,
granted a lot of them were freakin' awesome, but at
the end of the day, they were just having fun
and moving their bodies and feeling the music and not
really caring about what anybody else thinks. And some people
were just it was so unexpected, Like you you never
know who you're next to in line at the grocery store.
(09:26):
They might be able to drop it like it hot,
and you would not think that because there were some
people where I was like, maybe I was pre judging.
They're not judging in a bad way, but I just
wouldn't look at them and think I would.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Be like, they're probably average, They're just.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Whatever they say.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And then what they were some of the best answers
I've ever seen, and like very just.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So, here's a question. If you could have like one
party trick, what would it be? Would it be dance,
would it be singing, would it be playing the piano,
would it be like violin? Like what would you choose?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I feel like we've done this on The Bobby Bone
Show multiple times over the years, because I've been on
it for a very very very long time, and my
answer has probably changed from time to time, and it
rotates between being an amazing dancer, because if like I
had this skill, I would want to be a dancer for,
like on stage Justin Timberlake.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
That's who it was back in the day.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Like I really wanted to be a backup dancer for
Justin Timberlake today.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Who would that be? Question?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Just so I could be friends with her? Maybe is
she friends with all of her dancers, she would be
friends with me.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Then a piano probably comes in as a solid answer
for sure, because that would be fun if you're just
at a dinner and there's a piano and it's like, oh, okay, fine,
I'll say something amazing yes, Or at a restaurant bar,
hotel bar, you could just sit down and play a
song that would be clutch, but singing would also be awesome.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
The thing is, I can do any.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Of this, So so you didn't pick one, you just
named them all.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Back, because I have picked all of them at one
point in my life.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
But being that I'm fresh off of a hip hop
dance class and I was just in such admiration of
these girls and how they were moving their bodies.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I'd probably pick dance today.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Dancing was really important in college when I was in
a sorority because all of like the were they called
philanthropies for all the different fraternities and sororities. There was
always like a performance and I could add nothing, but
everybody thought all the dancers were cool. Back then, I
really wish I could dance, but it's never been a
(11:34):
something that has been important since then.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Well, go to one hip hop class with me next
Thursday night and you'll be like, Okay, I want to
do that.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Do you have rhythm?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I think I have.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yes, I have rhythm, Like I can find the beat
and I can snap, but my brain doesn't register fast enough.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Like some of these people.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
They saw the run through from the instructor twice and
they're like, oh, no problem, got it. Yeah, And then
they make all these like faces like they're all, you know,
mad at life but then having a good time. Like
their faces they just like they're creak.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, they're cooking, they're cooking.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Did you watch the Dallas Cowboys cheerlading documentary? That didn't
make me want to be a cheerleader or a dancer.
But it was interesting how they were learning all of
those dances so fast. They don't learn like a hundred
of them in like two weeks.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
But that's what I think, Like, if you brush up
on that skill, it's like any muscle. You exercise that
part of your brain and you'll be able to Yeah,
like at least. No, I'm not discounting the gifts that
people have, because some people that is a legit gift.
But I do think I could pick up so you
could be no Dallas Cowboys sho not at all.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I don't practice.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I don't put you in lessons.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yes, I would have had to have started at a
very young age and then been very consistent because I
don't think dancing naturally comes to me. But this is
just a part of how I'm feeling. This is the
cool and fun. Oh there's more part because then I
have the vulnerable and glad part. And the vulnerable is
that I'm showing up today with my brows the way
they are and just walking around town. I ran some
(13:01):
errands before this and I was just just like, nobody cares,
but I do.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
So that's vulnerable for me.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And then I'm feeling glad because I hope I think
I'm on the home stretch of the laser brow situation.
That might have been my last treatment. I maybe maybe,
maybe it's up in the air. I went ahead and
booked the next appointment, but she was acting like, let's
see how this turns out. You may not need it,
and I was like, okay, So I'm just glad I started,
(13:30):
because this is one of those things you want to
put off, Like even when I sat down in the chair,
I forgot, even though I've already had it twice before.
I was like, what's the recovery time again? And she's like,
no makeup for one week? No, And I'm like, what
did I do last time? I don't remember? And that
was only eight weeks ago. How did I survive that?
With work and video and different things that we have,
And I think I was just wearing hats and then
I wore my glasses to cover my brows, like my
(13:53):
reading glasses. So I don't really remember surviving that. But
I've got to go to a funeral with my boyfriend.
I guess I'm gonna wear glasses.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
But I can't wear any makeup on your face.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I can't on the brows.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I can wear makeup on my face, I just chose
not to today, but I can't wear a hat. It's
the funeral because I think part of how I like.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
The hat that cover I think people do that. They
were like they used to like wear like the hats
and then like you put it over your eyes.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I think that's like if you're the one in morning,
like I didn't know this person, Okay, it.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Would be weird. I just show up in like a gown.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
They're gonna be like, are you the wife of the deceased.
I'm like, I didn't know him.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I just had my brows legs right.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Just trying to cover them up. But my boy or
I wear sunglasses the entire time, but my boyfriend knows them,
and he asked if I would go. And then when
I sat down at the laser place and she started
doing it, and I was like, oh, I was like, shoot,
I have something on Saturday where I don't really think
I'm gonna want to wear reading glasses and I can't
wear a hat. And she's like, well, do you want
to not treat? And I'm like, well, when is a
(14:59):
good time. There's never a good time. And I think
The only thing about this particular event, which happens to
be a funeral, is that I'm going with him, and
he's going to be seeing a lot of people that
he knows, and he's going to be introducing me. You
have a yeah, okay, obviously, the bigger, more important thing
is we're dealing with someone that lost their life. So
who cares. Like, I'll figure this out, it doesn't really matter.
(15:22):
I just think I feel a little naked, vulnerable and
secure walking into a situation with him, and I also
want him to feel good, and I'm like, this is
my girlfriend. I don't know because yeah, they're like purple.
It also looks like maybe I can purple. You can't
see because the hat, they absolutely are purple. Where there's
a brute, there's a bruise right here in a line,
(15:43):
And what is it going to look like? We're in
an unhealthy relationship?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Like it? It's not great?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
So what's your solution.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I'll cross that.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Bridge when I get there tomorrow. But I think my
plan is I have these other glasses that are like aviators,
But like you, I know you feel this exact same
way about them. I have worn them before I even
wore them on the Bobby Bone Show, and they said
I was like, Jeffrey Dahmer, So I think that's going
to be my vibe for the funeral.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Jeffrey Dahmer, that's.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Not a good vibe to walk into a funeral with.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I know. Yeah, but my other reading glasses what I
realized with those, I could wear them, but they touch my.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Brow and just put them on the edge of your nose.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I know, if you put them on the edge of
the nose, they don't cover my brows. I need them
to cover the brows. So all this to say, which
people are probably like, what we don't really care, which
I totally understand.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I totally get that.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I get that. But you're feeling vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
But I'm feeling vulnerable, and you know, you're meeting your
boyfriend's friends.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
You want to feel cute.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
You're at a funeral, which feels weird to say, so
I guess I really don't.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
I determined this doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I just need to go and support him and do
my thing, and no one will even care or think
to about my browse. It's my own insecurity. But I'm
just glad it's almost over. I'm glad that I started
it several months ago, and I've been consistent and diligent
with the treatments and hopefully we'll be done. And then
someone I had post about it on social media and
someone asked me if I would get them remcroblated, and
(17:18):
I originally thought yes. I originally thought when I started
the laser process that I was gonna redo them once
the old ones were gone. And now I don't know,
because A I have mastered putting them on, and B
if I ever need to remove them again, I don't
want to go through.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
This ever again. It has not been a simple process.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, because maybe because we're on this journey of botox
no botox, you want to let your face breathe for
a little bit to see what you're going to do.
Yeah maybe, Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I don't know, but I'm definitely glad that it's we're
hitting on. So these are all my feelings, Like, hey,
let's be posted on my Jeffrey Dahmer funeral look.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Send us fis. I want the video of you dancing,
and I want to see your Jeffrey Dahmer funeral look.
Also interesting, you'd rather have that look than the woman
in morning look?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, I don't have a woman in mourning hat, so
I guess I'd have to find that. And then also
I feel like my boyfriend be like, what are you wearing?
Why are you wearing that ridiculous hat? And I'm like,
this is my funeral hat.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
But I wear every funeral.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I have a couple of cowgirl hats, and I do
think that that is also how if I think back
to when I had my last laser, how I was
surviving some morek evince that I had to do, I
was wearing my cowgirl hat.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
I was like, you can't wear the cowgirl hat to
the funeral for sure. I thought, that's where you're going with.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
At Wait, well, why wouldn't I be able to wear
a cowgirl hat to a funeral?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Is that not?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
That feels it feels like a ver much. But what
if I was What if I was a cowgirl?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But you're not.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
You're from Texas.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I'm not the expert on funerals. I feel like I
would rather you wear a lady in mourning hat than
a cowgirl hat.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Okay, so my options are lady in mourning hat, cowgirl hat,
or Jeffrey Dahmer glasses.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, I feel like if.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I well, or I raw dog it and just wear
my brass like.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I just go. That is an option. I don't know. Okay,
so that's gonna work. Yeah, let us know what you do.
This is gonna be very interesting. You have some good options.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Thank you. I'll keep you posted.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I know that I talked a little bit about Stashia
having her hip hop desire, like she loved it so much,
like she.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Wants to do it.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
But I do have a Stevenson update for you that
I don't know if I've given it to you yet.
So for anybody listening, Stevens my son, so shares my daughter.
So she's into hip hop right now. I can tell
(19:59):
she got the bug. She already she said, if you
take privates, can I join?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Wait, you really talked about taking privates? Yes?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, why not?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I just love this for you know, I want you
to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, okay, could be a thing. So Stevenson has a girlfriend.
It's kind of a big deal.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Heat what great?
Speaker 3 (20:18):
How old is he He's going to be in eighth grade?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Okay, mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And I have to tell you the cutah story. So
they went to the movies, so her mom dropped them off,
and I'm friends with her parents, so it's kind of fun.
We even had a group text with the mom and
the dad there, and then me and Ben like, the
mom said, hey, who knows if this is going to
last two weeks, two months, or two days, but this
(20:43):
is so.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Cool, how fun.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
But also they have a son that our son is
friends with, and he would do sleepovers over there. And
she's like, well, now that he's dating his sister or
their boyfriend and girlfriend, no more sleepovers. Hope y'all are
on board with that, And I'm like, oh, yeah, well
I was going to say the same exact thing. So
glad we're on the same page. So we are friends
(21:05):
and that makes it fun. She picked them up, dropped
them off with movies, and I had to pick them up,
so I pick them up. And then after we dropped
her off at home, I was like, so, did you'll
sit by each other? And there was other people there too,
and he said, yeah, we sat by each other, but
we had our other friends around. And I said, well,
did you hold her hand? And he said, oh, not yet,
and I said, oh, okay, Well I was just curious.
(21:28):
He goes, I'm taking things slow, but I am going
to be smooth like melted butter.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
And I was like, where did you even get this?
Saying like where did you hear that?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
And he's like, I made it up, but that's my vibe,
like melted butter.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Okay, So I have questions about this. If his friend
wants to sleep over here.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, his friend can sleep over here, it's just that
he can't sleep over there because she's there.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
That's his sister.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Is she older? Younger?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Saying no, they're the same age?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Okay, this kind of messy, like your friend is now
dating your sister.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I think they're at the age where the brother thinks
it's kind of cool.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
He's like, i'll let you.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
The brother was actually in the car when I picked
them up, too, and the brother got in the front
seat with me, and then Steven said, and his girlfriend
sat in the back, and Stephen said, oh, Eli, you're
sitting up front, and he's like, I'll let you two
love birds sit in the back, like okay, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, yeah sort of. That's so fun. Okay, so how
do you feel?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
I feel good.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I'm glad he's having this experience. Kind of cute fun
watching them FaceTime, and I just hope, yeah, if it
doesn't work out that it doesn't impact any friendships.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Or anything that they have.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I'm like, we're too young for this, but it is
kind of sweet to see him like somebody, yeah, and
they're talking to each other.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I had a boyfriend in seventh grade for two weeks
and we didn't speak to each other for the two weeks.
I think he would like message me on aim, but
that's it. If we saw him each other at school,
we would walk the other way. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
When I had boyfriends in elementary school, we would talk
on the phone all the time, and then yeah, when
I would see him at school, we didn't speak at all.
But by junior high, if I had a boyfriend, we
would talk about.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Oh well, I guess what's junior high to you? Middle school? Sixth, seventh, eighth,
Oh okay, you were more mature than me.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I can see that.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Just kidding. You know.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Something came up on the Bobby Bone Show about dating
and if you would take a million dollars to break
up with your partner, and we were all like, no,
what about five million?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
And some people on the show.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Were like, oh, yeah, I'm out, like current, Yes, current,
I'm out, And I was saying no, and they're like
what you're in a new relationship. I said, well, we've
been dating eight months. And also I feel like I
wouldn't keep dating him if I didn't think we were
actually going somewhere, and the thought of going back into dating.
The only time I dated before this season obviously was
(23:52):
married for about seventeen years, but then dating back in
the day or gosh, we were just talking about elementary school,
junior highigh scho like those are the years where it's
real fun. In your forties and fifties, I'd have found
it to be like super fun, it's actually exhausting. And yeah,
it was just a lot and the type of men
(24:13):
that are available, at least, maybe I just hadn't met
the right ones my experience.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Now, I had some that are nice.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yes I'm not saying a blanket statement that they're all bad,
but it just wasn't super fun or it seemed like
there was a lot of available men that were fitting what.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
I was looking for.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
So the fact that I found someone that I really
enjoy being with and vice versa, he enjoys being with me,
I don't want to throw that away. Yes, is that
a ton of money, Sure, but I'd rather have my
lifestyle the same and not have that money and not
be lonely. Anyway, the thought of dating just felt exhausting
(24:52):
to me. So I just didn't know if you would
take a million dollars and break up with a big.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
P Even if I would, I would lie. I think, Okay,
I wouldn't. But like, I'm so the reason I'm saying this,
I'm shocked that anybody would admit that who has a
current partner that is just asking to be in a fight.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So like if you're like, oh my gosh, I'm glad
you're saying this. So I brought back to the guys.
I went and ask my boyfriend this, and I said
that he said the same thing as me, that he
wouldn't take it, And they all said that exact same thing.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
If they're well, he's not going to tell you the truth,
like yeah, imagine, yes, then you're gonna want to break.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Up with it. When you're asking him that, you're just
like asking that for affirmation. I think really, like, see,
he wouldn't do it, but if you would do it,
it's it's a fake scenario, so like it's not like
if it's really happening, maybe they would do it, because
then they get the five million dollars. But if it's
a fake scenario, that's just asking for a fight. So
I don't trust anybody's answers. But I'm extra curious why
(25:52):
somebody would admit that unless they're just trying to ruffle
some feathers, right, like, if you're in a happy marriage, Actually, no.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
You're not in a happy marriage if you're saying yes
to that, because I would say, towards the end of
my marriage, if you were to be like, here's five million,
I'd be like, okay, but.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
That's horrible to say.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
But when I ended up divorcing anyway, and I know
that I know that on the because I'm on the
other side of it.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yeah, so I'm able to say.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
That now and yes, yeah, but anyway, just the thought
of me dating now felt exhausting, So I didn't know
with you, like, if you were to somehow end up
in the dating pool, let's put this money hypothetical aside,
could you imagine dating again right now?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So that's a mixed question for me because it doesn't
feel that long ago to me. I've been with Patrick
for three and a half years, but I did a
lot of dating all through my twenties and early thirties,
so I was very used to that where you weren't
used to it. Now. Do I want to jump back
into that? No, And I'm glad that you said this.
(26:57):
The pool is different, like post thirty because of the
way that our society does get in the times that
people get married, people are usually either in relationships or
there can be some other stuff going on. And I'm
trying to say this not to like make myself look bad,
Like the availability of healthy people gets lower and lower
(27:19):
as we get older. So no, I don't want to
be in that again. But also a lot of my
friends are in it, so I wouldn't be alone.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
That's true. That's true.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
I don't want to make it also seem so miserable
for those that might be in it or entering it, Like, yeah,
there can be a lot of fun that comes.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
From it and growth.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I have some good times, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Like you have good times, you have bad times.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
I am really grateful for my experience because I learned
a lot through my dating experience. Do I want to
go on these bad dates again or like have the
experiences where like my feelings were really hurt. No, but
some of the stories are really funny. I'm like, well
that that was exciting.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
You know, yeah, and you have those stories you can
bust out.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yeah, I'm time to time my date jar that we
put them all in. So what actually that should be
a show we do one day is I bring the
date jar and we read them.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
You must bring the date jar and we just pull
it out and read them. Read all right, date jar episode?
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Okay. Also speaking of exhausted, I was on Instagram when
I saw this post from doctor Amy Shaw and she
had like a definition of a word which was this
would be hard for me to say. I read it
and it worked, but saying out loud, IM need some
help exhaustor wellmulated, Oh that wasn't so bad. Exhaust realmulated.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'm going to try to put in put together all
the words I think those are. So is it a
combination of exhausted, overwhelmed, and overstimulated?
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yes, huh, all at once. And I clocked it because
I've been feeling not in the data world in my relationship,
but I've been feeling, you know this, like crazy. I
think every day I probably texted you being like I
feel crazy today because I have a lot going on,
and it felt chaotic, and I think I was telling
(29:14):
myself a story that it was bad. I'm so busy,
I have so much to do that this is bad.
It was like I think the behind the scenes, like
there was this message of like this is not good.
And then I was talking to my therapist about it.
Because one thing that I do know about myself is
I am impulsive. So I do a lot of like
how you would start individual private dance lessons from taking
(29:37):
one dance class, Like that's something I would do. I
get an idea in my head and I just do it.
And two things came out of that conversation. One she
was like, well, was that gotten you in trouble? Like
how you function that way? And I said no, Actually
that has been what has gotten me most of the
things that I really love in my life. Like I
(29:58):
don't think too much about things. I want to start
a podcast, I just start a podcast. Yeah, I want
to open a practice. I just opened a practice. I
wanted to be a cycling instructor. I had no experience
of teaching fitness or riding bikes indoors. I did that.
I wanted to go. I go want get asked on
(30:18):
a date, I go on the date, Like, I don't
think too much about that kind of stuff, big things,
and I think if I thought too much about them,
I want to do them. You know, I would analyze them,
Like with the cycling, I'd be like, oh would I
be good at that? Would that be embarrassing? How would
I feel? What would my friends think? Like, I didn't
think if any of that is did it? So she
was like, Okay, well maybe this is one of this
(30:40):
could be one of those things with the stuff that
I was taking on. And then we kept talking and
I realized the anxiety that I felt is more I'm excited,
like I'm taking on this stuff. We're trying to move.
I don't know. I'm trying to keep that a secret.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
It's well, I think you have other things going on too, though,
oh yeah yeah yeah, Like to me, the moving is
like a small part of it.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Yeah, I get that that moving is a huge deal.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I mean, they say top five things that can add
stress to your life, moving is one of them.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Yeah, so there is a lot going.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
On, but I think you have other factors that are
feeding into that, which you know you may talk about
one day you maybe won't. But it's funny about yourself
can race that because don't you think yes?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
But also with that too, there's no question in my
mind about that part of what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I guess it can just like magify.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
With the movie and I'm like, is this the right time?
Is this?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
So?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Like? Am I just doing this because I'm impulsive? Am
I? I was like questioning it, and I'm like, wait a second,
I have to remember that when I don't question myself, Yes,
there are times you should think through things, and I'm
not just like, oh, I like this house. I don't
know how much money I have, I'm gonna buy it.
Like I know that there's certain things that you have
to think about when you're buying a house moving. But
(32:01):
when I don't overanalyze things and I trust myself and
allow myself to like lead myself, things have worked for me.
And now those roads weren't perfect, Like with the cycling intructing,
the first audition I did, I didn't make it. It was
actually quite embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Wait, you didn't make it, like at a studio, like
you were auditioning to become an instructor and they didn't
hire you.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
They didn't hire me. Oh no, And then the second
place that I auditioned. What's funny as I interviewed, I
reached out to them because I wanted to just manage
the studio. I was having a crisis and I was like,
I shouldn't be a therapist anymore. I'm going to manage
a gym.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
I know.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
She was like, keep your job, like you can still
be a therapist, but you need to go see a therapist.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
She keep your job, but you might like what if
you auditioned to be an instructor? And I was like, oh,
I've done that once and they said no. So I
was like, okay, sure in that audition. It's funny because
the trainer would joke about it later. But she was
like you were really bad and I had to like
stop you and like change some things. But she was like,
I saw that you're trainable and teachable, and so I
(33:10):
took that like idea of potential.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I need to know, like what your bad class was.
I need to know like what.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
What made it bad? I mean you just like turn
the knob up, like how could you know? I mean,
you gotta have good music, and they're just like, yell,
it's some encouraging things.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So an audition, though, isn't a full class. It's just well, okay,
do you want to know about the two auditions? Is
this okay?
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I mean I guess yes, now I'm invested.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I'm just curious, Like, you need to be inspirational, you
need good music, and you gotta do some hills and
some sprints.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
So the first place that I auditioned, it wasn't open yet,
so we send a video in and answer some questions. I
invited us back, and then they did individual little auditions
in this like apartment complex where they just had this
one bike in the corner, and they played music off
of a fun and they said, we can teach you
how to be an instructor. We just want to make
(34:03):
sure that you have rhythm. Oh yeah, So I couldn't
really hear the music, so I guess maybe I didn't
have rhythm. I remember they played like a Taylor Swift song,
and what they did was they kept like changing the
music so you would have to find the beat really fast.
So I guess maybe they were like, she doesn't have rhythm.
Never heard from the man. The other one, which is
usually what it's like to audition, is you go into
(34:26):
a room of nobody, like two people that are judging you,
and you just teach to fake people. And we did
like thirty seconds of two songs. So I guess my
thirty seconds of two songs of my fake teaching was
not great.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Like give me an example, Like what'd you say, like, hey,
welcome to class, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
What I said, but I know one of my songs
was Hailey Steinfeld Starving and the justin Timberlake Trolls song.
I got this feeling in some messle I would never
play either of those songs nowa but they, oh, they
chose me. But then you had to go through a
boot camp, so they molded you, and then you could
get cut every day of the boot camp and you
(35:07):
survived somehow, Like I honestly am like why eventually I
got good after doing it for I got decent after
doing it for years. But in the beginning, I would
love to know what people thought about, like truly thought
about my classes.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I'm glad I don't have those videos.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I never came.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, it was like, speaking of videos, we need to know,
especially that one of you where they're just filming you
alone on a bike in the corner of an apartment
I'm like.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Are you sure you were at an autition?
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Like, but also I was nervous, so I'm like, I
bet they could like hear me like breathing over the
like low music, you know what I mean? Like, Yeah,
that's bad. When things are quiet, it's so much easier
to be confident in loud.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Spaces, Like at the hip hop class when I showed
up and there was more people and it was dark and.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Loud, I let loose.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, Like, if there had only been ten people in
this massive room, I don't think I would have been
able to shake it off because I had to really
see more intimate.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I feel like when I'm talking in front of people,
if I have a microphone, I feel more confident, but
if I have to project my own voice, there's like
a vulnerability in that. Anyway, I didn't mean to really
talk about that. I really was bringing that up because
I thought it was interesting that I had this experience
where I'm like, this is bad that you feel this way,
and my anxiety was actually excitement and I didn't allow
(36:25):
my Well, I eventually did, but for a period of
time I wasn't allowing myself to listen to that, and I
was making assumptions about my feelings versus really really listening
to them.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
So how are you supposed to know?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I mean, this is good, especially since there's a feeling
things podcasts about our feelings, Like what if somebody else
listening right now, it's like I've been feeling some anxiety
around XYZ in my life and now they're wondering.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Hmm, what if it's actually excitement.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I think talking to people about it because I think
I was having this looping conversation in my head. And
that's why therapists need to go to therapy, because I
cannot be non judgmental towards myself. I have all my
bias inside of me pointing back at me. So the
questions that I'm asking myself can be very different than
the questions that somebody else would ask me. And one
(37:24):
of the things she asked me was what are you
looking for when you're talking to other people about these things?
Because I at one point I was like, nobody's telling
me what to do. Nobody that I was talking to
about these decisions I was making was telling me what
to do. They were all saying, you have to make
this decision, and I was like, I was just want
I was like, even you, like, you're not telling me
(37:45):
what to do, like I want somebody to tell me
what to do. And she's like, are you sure? Because
what if I said do this? Because then she's like,
how do you show up when people tell you what
to do? And I go, actually, I hate when people
tell me what to do.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
You hate it.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It's almost like you're like, I want somebody to tell
me what to do. But also I hate when people
tell me what to do.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
So she was like, okay, so maybe you're not looking
for that, and I said, you know what I'm looking
I'm just looking for people to affirm what I already
know that I want. That's what I want, but people
can't affirm what I want. That I might have to
affirm myself. But also people can't affirm this unless I'm
sharing it with them too. Some of the stuff I
wasn't sharing with people.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So because you were overwhelmulated, Yeah, you couldn't identify the excitement? Yes, yeah, overwhelmulated.
Do you think that'll make the dictionary?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Why wouldn't it? That is so helpful. We don't have
to say three words, we say one and we can
understand what I mean.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I'm just overwhelmulated.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Okay, okay, back off, Yeah and affirm me.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah, do you even know what overwhelmulated means?
Speaker 1 (38:51):
I do, Yeah, I don't think my therapist did.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
And if you say that to somebody, they're gonna be like,
you're what the you're over well mulated?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Yeah, think about it.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Like that's not even real word. And you're gonna say,
look it up in the dictionary, and they're going to
say it's not in there, is it.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
No, it's not even overwelmulated, isn't it. Hold on, exhaustor wellulated.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Overwomulated is too easy of a word, exhaust womulated exhauster,
and we could add exhaust or overwelmulated exhaust emulated. Anyway,
Well I love that.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Ye, now we know exhaustor well mulated.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah. I went through a whole journey this week of
feeling like ooh, this is bad to like, wait a second,
this is very exciting. This is a very exciting time.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
M hmm it is. I had to listen to my
gut this week too. On my emergency contact. I'm gonna
have to get a new passport because mine expires at
the end of the year, so I'm just trying to
do all the paperwork, so it's filling everything out, took
my new photo, submitting it all online, and I had
to enter my emergency contact. Well, the last time I
(39:58):
did my passport to my emergency cont textist my husband
at the time, and I thought, well, who's going to
be my new emergency contact. I can't put my boyfriend
because well, what if we break up.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Because this is like the next ten years, yes.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
The next ten years, which I don't think we're going
to break up. He says that I say that a lot,
like I'll be like, what if we break up? Or
you should just go ahead and break up with me.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I think I'll just try to get ahead of it,
just in case it's not healthy.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Are you saying that when you're in conflict.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
I'm exhaustor welmulated.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Okay, no, not when we're in conflict. More like, I
say it totally jokingly. It's in a very light moment,
but I'm maybe admitting something about myself where I'm just like, okay, fine,
if you're just gonna break up with me, she'd probably
do it now. But it's like, is there a hidden
thing underneath? And like why I keep doing that? And
(40:52):
he's like, you've been saying that a lot lately, and
I said, I have, Okay, I'll work on that because
I don't want to Also, I don't want to manifest
that either.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
That feels like a yeah, defense mechanism. We're like, I'm
just going to call this. It's like image management when
I like call something out about myself before somebody else
can notice it so I can get ahead of it.
It's like, we'll just break up with me. So then
what you also probably want him to say is why
would I do that?
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, I know when I'm fishing for a fight, right,
and I do something, And I totally do that, But
I don't mean I'm fishing for him to be like,
I'm not going to break up with you, because I
do think I'm saying it in lighter moments, I'm not
actually expecting a response, but I didn't realize how much
I was doing it. Yeah, so SOMs could be on
a subconscious level. It's lingering back there. So maybe I
(41:37):
need to listen to subliminals that are like, you're secure
in your relationship, have no fear, you are fine, And
he does not want to break up with you.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
You can put him as your emergency contact.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, well I don't know that far that far, but
I did have to. I like, I was checking in.
I was like, what do I I was like, I
could keep being and honestly beIN and ie co parenting
and friendship relationship is the best it's been right now. Yeah,
And I'm so proud of us. It hasn't always been
this great. It's been good, and then it's had rocky
(42:09):
moments for sure that were sort of circumstantial, and now
it's just really seems healthy and good and I'm very
very very very thankful for that.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
We're even working on a charity event together.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Wait, but how would Alex feel if you put your
ex husband as your emergency contact.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Well, it wouldn't be that I was putting. It would
be that I would just leave him. Okay, I know,
I know, I know, but I.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Yeah, like, whoops, I didn't know that I had to
redo that.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yeah, well, I'm saying I had to listen to my gut.
I'm like, oh, this doesn't this would not even be right.
But it just seemed like I think I just felt
a little like there's parts of me, like my younger
part of me that never saw myself getting divorced, and
so this was a moment where I'm having to face
a decision that.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Equals that I got divorced. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yeah, It's ber than just the It's like Ben's always
going to be in my life because we have kids together,
and what if I'm on a trip with my kids,
it makes sense that Ben would be the emergency contact,
you know, Like I just left the country with the
kids a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
And Ben would be who we would need.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
To contact because he's the father of my kids. So
I didn't think it was that far fetched. But then
it'll listen to my gut. My gut was like find
somebody else. But then parts of me that were had
a little bit of shame of like, uh, well, you
wouldn't even be in this situation if you had just
figured out your marriage and then you never got divorced,
(43:37):
you know. And then I was like, stop, We're not
doing that. Stop I'm not going to do that. So
this was a big internal conversation with myself. Yes, So
then ultimately, drum roll, I decided on my sister, which.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Sound I mean that might be obvious to some people.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Like, oh, just pick your sister. But for what reason
she wasn't popping into my head right away? And then
I was like, well, then I was like, don't have mom,
don't have a dad, don't have a husband, you know something.
I was like, Oh, yeah, I do have a sister,
and gosh, darnett, she loves me.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Gosh darnett, she would love to be your emergency contact.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Right.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Yeah, And then of course I know I have friends
that I could sign up for that position too, And honestly,
let's just hope I'm never in a situation where I
have my passport, because that would mean I'm likely in
another country and we have to contact in emergency contact.
That just seems freaky to me. I don't want anything
that ever happened to me in a foreign country.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Yeah, but that's a big deal. And I like your
like road that you went down on to get there.
I like the internal dialogue you had, and I think
this also is like probably a big deal for other
people too, to submerge on emergency contacts there, whether they
have never been married before, or they're going through something
like you where they got divorced and now they're getting
(45:00):
a new document, or they have to answer this question
for the first time. Like, I think that can be
a it's a realization of what happened, Like what you.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Said speaking of the charity event that Ben and I
are doing, I just realized that I've sort of had
some internal dialogue and made up this whole thing, and you.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Would be involved in it a little bit too, So
I kind.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Of need to go over it with you after this. Wait,
I know you don't like being told what to do,
but this is for foster kids.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
So you mean after we're done recording, Well.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
We just need it in the next week or so.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
I need to update you with some decisions that I
have mine agreed to do on behalf of foster Children,
and it'll involve our listeners too.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
I think it's gonna be fun. I think you're gonna
love it.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
And Big P can be there, okay, and then my
boyfriend can be there, and then my ex.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Husband will be there.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Good times, my former emergency contact and your future emergency.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Potential emergency emergency contact will be all hanging out together.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Do you like you like top cough?
Speaker 1 (45:59):
I love top golf.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Well, guess what it's gonna be a top golf.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
You know the last time I did a charity at
Top Golf, I won. Shut up, Yeah, I won a
six month membership to Top Golf. However, I didn't know
that it started effective immediately, so I waited six months
to activate it and then it was expired. So I'd
love to win another one.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Well, I had no idea I might have the winner
on my team like me, because you would be on
my team.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
I think my team carried me, though I don't know
that it was me. My team won.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Sorry, that was as advertising, one hundred percent false advertising.
You said, did you know I won?
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I didn't win. I did win. I was on the
winning team, so therefore I won and I was the
head of the team, so I got to have the membership.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Okay, Well, well we can talk offline about this little
bit since I dropped like a hint. We will have
listeners that are gonna pretty much just be able to
come be a part of this, and they won't have
to pay anything because we have a sponsor that is covering,
like an under riding the entire event, so that part's
paid for it.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
There are other people. There are other.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Sponsorship opportunities for different bays where companies could bring a
team if they want to, or families could come and
build it. But since we had the underwriter, which is
Taylor Farms shout out everything with Top Golf, the fees
for that is covered. So whatever money comes in for
the event, one hundred percent will go to the foster.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
That's amazing, So and Patrick will love that too.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Yeah, and what it's gonna be fun for us since
Taylor Farms paid for several bays for us, We're just
going to get to invite listeners and they get to
bring a guest and it'll be like a fun outing.
And it's for Isaiah one seventeen house. If anybody's familiar,
there a nationwide organization, but we're been and I go
to church.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
We still go to the same church.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
They're very involved with that and Ben has gotten involved
in it, and we wanted the kids to be involved.
And then as part of our healthy co parenting, we're like, well,
it might be good if our kids see us giving
back to something together.
Speaker 3 (47:58):
And so I'm gonna need to.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
Give you the date.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
We'll share all the details on the podcast later, but
it'll probably be a giveaway that we'll do on our
Instagram to listeners. So we'll give you all the information here,
but then y'all need to follow us Feeling Things podcast
and it'll be something really easy, basically like comments wipe here,
comment here, and we'll just select somebody and then you'll
get to come with a guest to Top Golf for
(48:21):
an evening there and it includes like a FETA buffet
and Top Golf Top Contender prizes.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
And maybe I'll want another membership and I'll use it
this day.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
And I'll actually use it.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Sorry, I hadn't shared any of that with you yet,
but I was like, Kat will be totally.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Into this if I was like, I'm not doing that. Also,
I just don't think that our.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Friendship wouldn't really work out if you were into that,
because it's not like I'm signing up for something like horrible.
It's actually something good and then also something fun because
we have been looking for a way to connect with
listeners and listen like our tell me no, I just
get forgetting, I think is well, he I've known you
had a lot going on, so it's like between your
stuff going on, and then I had my kids this
(49:02):
week and it sort of finalized this week Ben and
I had a call and so you could see where
this week it just hadn't come up yet.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Yeah. I don't know if you felt like I was
being SIB lately.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
But I was SIB this week too.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
And if y'all are now to listening, SIB is when
you're talking to your friend, you can just use that
acronym and be like SIB, which means sorry, a bitchy.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
And it helps lighten the mood. But Kat was SIV
this week. I was SIV this week.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
So do you see how with our sib nois, I
didn't have time to talk to you about how I
was signing you up?
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Oh joined me?
Speaker 1 (49:37):
I would fully throw us over the edge.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah, but I think it'd be a fun night. Yeah,
and it's I know.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
iHeart Festival is the weekend of the twentieth of September
and this weekend after that, So probably like the twenty
sixth or something that Friday, tell me you're not gonna
be in like Vermont?
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Are you here?
Speaker 4 (49:55):
Was going to be in Vermont on September twenty sixth.
That was the date it was I meant to be
that that gout cancel. We might in a week before that,
but we were looking at that. I don't remember what day,
it doesn't matter because I canceled it.
Speaker 3 (50:06):
Yeah, that's that's crazy serendipitous.
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yeah, I know you're pretty bummed about having to cancel
that trip, but see how it worked out.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
Now you get to I really want isn't that bummed
thought about it? That's another one of those things, is
like I should I thought that, Like you should be
sad about this, but I am actually more excited about
why I had to cancel that. I canceled it for
top golf. I just didn't know.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Yeah, yeah, see, yeah everything works out sometimes some thus
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
I just don't like that saying. You know how some
people say it.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
Like it'll all work out in the end. If it
hasn't worked out yet, then it's not the end.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Everything always works out for me. That's like the sublements
that I listened to.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
I don't like girl syndrome.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
I don't mind programming my subconscious mind to think that way, though,
but I don't want to outwardly just be that way.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Well, the whole lucky girl syndrome thing. Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
So oh, we could do a lucky girl syndrome deep dive.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
We could. There's something recently that went viral on the
internet about somebody saying that like when they wanted to
get pregnant, they just were like, I am manifesting that
I have a healthy uterus and that I will get pregnant.
And then she said every time she tried, she got pregnant.
And I'm like, if it was.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
That easy, then I would have gotten pregnant.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
And guess months ago, I.
Speaker 2 (51:19):
Have like a bajillion negative pregnancy test that I can
show you from about twenty eleven that are proved that that.
But you know what, Kat, when I was trying to
get pregnant, I didn't do that. I didn't say.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Okay, saw That's why. That is why it's toxic, because
then people are like, well, if I would have done that,
then I wouldn't have I wouldn't have done this or
this or that, or like, come on, Yes, I think
believing positive thoughts, having positive thoughts cannot hurt you, and
it probably will help you. It is not a guarantee
to make it or break it.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Yes, I agree, but you know, even when my mom
was sick, her doctors said through and through they see
it with patients all over. The more positive you are,
the better experience you have. But none of them are saying,
it means you're going to survive this and you're going
to beat cancer, but your experience is going to be
night and day. Yes, so I but that is what
(52:13):
I'm saying is I never even gave myself that chance.
I never I never said, uterus, you are strong, you
are healthy, you are kind, you are to carry a baby.
Speaker 3 (52:25):
You can do this. You are a baby magnet.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Okay. To be honest, I haven't done that either, but
I haven't had a very positive attitude in my head.
I'm like, I will get pregnant, I just don't know when.
But that hasn't gotten me pregnant. So I think that
that type of content or those kinds of stories, if
(52:51):
that worked for her, great, But I also think she
didn't get pregnant because she said that, right, She just
said that, and she also got pregnant. You see what
I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (53:02):
I know, but she has the lucky girl syndrome.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Okay, so we're gonna do a deep dive on that.
I would love to.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
Okay, all right, well, we hope y'all have.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
The day you need to have.
Speaker 3 (53:12):
Bye bye,
Good break it down. If you ever have feelings that
you just won'ts Amy and Cat gotcha covincking No, brother,
Ladies and felts. Do you just follow Anna spirit where
it's all the real stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
To the chill stuff and the.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Jes stop you feel things.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Cat.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm
Cat and I have feelings of the day. Okay, so multiple,
multiple feelings. You want them all, We'll just ruttle them off.
I feel fun, cool, vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And glad. Okay, did something I can.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I can run through all the reasons why I feel
fun and cool because I went to hip hop dance
class last night with my daughter.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Like a workout class. Oh wait, one of those classes
where they teach you a dance and then you do
it for everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Right, it's not.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It wasn't work out, although you do feel like it's
a workout, But it was straight at a hip hop
dance studio, and these girls teaching it they were so cool.
I want to be them. The class ranged from like age.
Ranges of people in class were six year olds to
sixty year olds.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Wait six, you said six.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Anybody could come.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, it's an open call beginner level class, but some
of these people definitely not beginners at all.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
What did you wear?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Sweatpants? A little crop top thing.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I mean, it didn't really show my stomach, but kind
of when I did certain moves it did. And sneakers, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
The part.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
And I had a hat on because I had just
had my eyebrows lasered, which some of our listeners have
been following this journey years ago. I had my eyebrows
microbladed and I've been lasering that off. And I had
my third treatment yesterday and at the treatment, it was
so painful A tear rolled down my face.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Just one singular tear.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, I think because I wasn't trying to cry, but
the pain just like pushed out a tear, I guess.
And I knew in that moment if you ever needed
to torture me for information, whatever setting that laser was on,
because I think they were trying to target the specific
spot and the color that's coming through, because now the
brown ink is gone and then there's a red and
(02:21):
orange yellow. It's like the layers of the skin and
whatever level it was on yesterday, it was so painful.
I knew that's how you get me if you need information.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, well now we know. But you went from that
pain okay to a hip hop class.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Well, this is why I feel fun and cool.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I didn't think I was going to go. I'd already
signed us up. And this is something Stushierra has been
wanting to do for months, and it just hasn't worked
with our schedule either her stuff. She's been out of
town a lot. I haven't been able to go. And
the beginner classes are only on Thursday and Saturday nights.
Well I only have her every other Thursday and every
other Saturday.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So it's just been difficult. And had it on the books.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I prepaid, we were registered, and then I realized, oh shoot,
my laser appointment, which I scheduled eight weeks ago, is
on this same day. I said it it should be fine. Well,
but when I leave the laser appointment, I'm in a
lot of pain. My browser red, they're swollen, the hair
is blanched white. I can't put any makeup or anything
(03:22):
on it, which is why I just have a hat
on today, no makeup because when I can cover it
when I can put concealer and then do my faux
brows and draw them on and put my tinted browjell
over my hair. I've got my brow system down. It
took me a while to perfect, but now that I've
got it, I'm like, I got you, no problem.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Are you still using left and snatch?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Lift and snatch is one of your best friends?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I use the Anastasia brow powder obsessed. Well, first step one,
let me tell you it's concealer. Step two, the brow powder.
Step three, lift and snatch, just some little natural strokes.
Step four anastage tinted brow gel Bam.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Done, done, so easy done.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I know people are like, oh, someone even said to me,
oh my gosh, your brows, and I kind of like
snickered inside him, like she has no idea. When I
washed my face, they looked nothing like this.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Wait, so she asked to go to that class specifically
with you.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, something we decided. You know, back in March, we
did that therapy camp. I went with my ex husband,
their dad. We did a co parenting therapy camp just
us like overnight at this place called on site. And
when we were coming up with activities with the therapist.
Of things we could do for dopamine hits, dancing was
(04:39):
one of them, and so that's could be a dance
party in your kitchen or just putting on music when
you're driving and like dancing and singing along. But one
things to share expressed in addition to that would be
taking a dance class. So I had researched and found one,
but it took us till July to finally get our
(05:00):
schedules in alignment to.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Where we could go.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So were you nervous?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I was very nervous, but I knew I was gonna
be there with her, so it was fine. And then
when I got there, there were so many people. And
then when I saw that Summer six, summer sixty, I thought, Okay,
I feel a little more comfortable now because there's so
many people in here and the lights are dark. I
can kind of get away with just being over here
in the corner and moving my body a little bit.
Our dance was too a wickup in the moth.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh kesha, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
But kesha, But I don't, I don't. I think they
have to beat the pet. Don't stop making job bija.
As it goes up to night on the fight to
see Yeah, the bottle of jack, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Wake up in the morning with the bottle edie, TikTok,
make it job?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Do you want me? The dance?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Is that to night?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I care.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I only remember like the first moves are uh and
then uh.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Do you kind of do whatever pose you want and
you hold it and then hold it and then you
and then you drop and then you step.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I was so lost. Some people were so good. I
thought I missed.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I wish I could dance. My god, you missed your calling.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Well. I think if maybe my mom had put me
in proper training early on, then I would be better
at it. But since I never yeah, thanks a lot, Judy,
if I had exercised those muscles, then maybe I wouldn't
be so terrible at it.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, this is sure, you could still get good.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
I considered that.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I thought, I just need to take some privates, Like
if I take some private hip hop classes, and then
maybe I really kind of just get the basics down
and I get my body gets used to feeling it
because I think I'm just it's foreign to me. Yeah,
but if I get it down, I can I feel
like I feel like that could be my thing. But
(06:55):
I really have to commit and go all in.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
But I also feel that me with Potter or with
jewelry making or any of that. It's exciting in the beginning,
but are you gonna keep dancing? But I guess also
this is a skill that could constantly come in Like
imagine you had a wedding doing a hip hop dance.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh, if TikTok comes on anywhere I am, I'll be like,
it'll it'll just seem like I have this just my
body is just doing this. But it's a choreographed routine
that I practiced for hours.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You could have a hip hop TikTok account.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Definitely not. I don't think that would No, I could.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I could barely even perform in front of the cameras.
So they film you so and then you break up
into groups of seven, so there was tons of people.
You break up into groups of seven and you perform
for the camera, and then you have access to the
video so you could post it if you want, or
to study. Well, I think you have to pay extra
(07:54):
and I'm not paying for the video.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I don't want to come on, we want it. Okay,
that could go VI. I'll get the video.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
I'll get the video just for you.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Also, did you perform in front of all the people?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
If I get the video, could we insert it here
in the YouTube?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Okay, well pause in case that happens. Here's the video.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
If it doesn't happen, then.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Wait, so you're performing it? Like, are people watching while
you're doing it?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Everybody in the class?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
And how many people were in the class.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Like sixty or more? I mean it was a brave group.
I am brave, thank you. That's when I should have
put brave. I'm feeling brave. But I think the cool
and fun part came in just because I was there
with Stashira and it's something she really wanted to do.
And I felt like a cool mom and I felt
like a fun mom, and I felt ridiculous and I
(08:45):
was embarrassed. In fact, when the video part came around,
I looked at my group of seven and I was like, hey,
I think y'all, I might let y'all go do it,
and I'm just gonna sneak off into the corner. And
then Sashira sort of looked at me and she's like mom,
And then I felt ridiculous and I thought, who cares?
Then I watched other groups go because we were the
last and final group, and I think it helped me
(09:06):
seeing the other groups because they're just out there having fun. Now,
granted a lot of them were freakin' awesome, but at
the end of the day, they were just having fun
and moving their bodies and feeling the music and not
really caring about what anybody else thinks. And some people
were just it was so unexpected, Like you you never
know who you're next to in line at the grocery store.
(09:26):
They might be able to drop it like it hot,
and you would not think that because there were some
people where I was like, maybe I was pre judging.
They're not judging in a bad way, but I just
wouldn't look at them and think I would.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Be like, they're probably average, They're just.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Whatever they say.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
And then what they were some of the best answers
I've ever seen, and like very just.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So, here's a question. If you could have like one
party trick, what would it be? Would it be dance,
would it be singing, would it be playing the piano,
would it be like violin? Like what would you choose?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I feel like we've done this on The Bobby Bone
Show multiple times over the years, because I've been on
it for a very very very long time, and my
answer has probably changed from time to time, and it
rotates between being an amazing dancer, because if like I
had this skill, I would want to be a dancer for,
like on stage Justin Timberlake.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
That's who it was back in the day.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Like I really wanted to be a backup dancer for
Justin Timberlake today.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Who would that be? Question?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Just so I could be friends with her? Maybe is
she friends with all of her dancers, she would be
friends with me.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Then a piano probably comes in as a solid answer
for sure, because that would be fun if you're just
at a dinner and there's a piano and it's like, oh, okay, fine,
I'll say something amazing yes, Or at a restaurant bar,
hotel bar, you could just sit down and play a
song that would be clutch, but singing would also be awesome.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
The thing is, I can do any.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Of this, So so you didn't pick one, you just
named them all.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Back, because I have picked all of them at one
point in my life.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
But being that I'm fresh off of a hip hop
dance class and I was just in such admiration of
these girls and how they were moving their bodies.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I'd probably pick dance today.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Dancing was really important in college when I was in
a sorority because all of like the were they called
philanthropies for all the different fraternities and sororities. There was
always like a performance and I could add nothing, but
everybody thought all the dancers were cool. Back then, I
really wish I could dance, but it's never been a
(11:34):
something that has been important since then.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Well, go to one hip hop class with me next
Thursday night and you'll be like, Okay, I want to
do that.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Do you have rhythm?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I think I have.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yes, I have rhythm, Like I can find the beat
and I can snap, but my brain doesn't register fast enough.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Like some of these people.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
They saw the run through from the instructor twice and
they're like, oh, no problem, got it. Yeah, And then
they make all these like faces like they're all, you know,
mad at life but then having a good time. Like
their faces they just like they're creak.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, they're cooking, they're cooking.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Did you watch the Dallas Cowboys cheerlading documentary? That didn't
make me want to be a cheerleader or a dancer.
But it was interesting how they were learning all of
those dances so fast. They don't learn like a hundred
of them in like two weeks.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
But that's what I think, Like, if you brush up
on that skill, it's like any muscle. You exercise that
part of your brain and you'll be able to Yeah,
like at least. No, I'm not discounting the gifts that
people have, because some people that is a legit gift.
But I do think I could pick up so you
could be no Dallas Cowboys sho not at all.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I don't practice.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I don't put you in lessons.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yes, I would have had to have started at a
very young age and then been very consistent because I
don't think dancing naturally comes to me. But this is
just a part of how I'm feeling. This is the
cool and fun. Oh there's more part because then I
have the vulnerable and glad part. And the vulnerable is
that I'm showing up today with my brows the way
they are and just walking around town. I ran some
(13:01):
errands before this and I was just just like, nobody cares,
but I do.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
So that's vulnerable for me.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And then I'm feeling glad because I hope I think
I'm on the home stretch of the laser brow situation.
That might have been my last treatment. I maybe maybe,
maybe it's up in the air. I went ahead and
booked the next appointment, but she was acting like, let's
see how this turns out. You may not need it,
and I was like, okay, So I'm just glad I started,
(13:30):
because this is one of those things you want to
put off, Like even when I sat down in the chair,
I forgot, even though I've already had it twice before.
I was like, what's the recovery time again? And she's like,
no makeup for one week? No, And I'm like, what
did I do last time? I don't remember? And that
was only eight weeks ago. How did I survive that?
With work and video and different things that we have,
And I think I was just wearing hats and then
I wore my glasses to cover my brows, like my
(13:53):
reading glasses. So I don't really remember surviving that. But
I've got to go to a funeral with my boyfriend.
I guess I'm gonna wear glasses.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
But I can't wear any makeup on your face.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I can't on the brows.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I can wear makeup on my face, I just chose
not to today, but I can't wear a hat. It's
the funeral because I think part of how I like.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
The hat that cover I think people do that. They
were like they used to like wear like the hats
and then like you put it over your eyes.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I think that's like if you're the one in morning,
like I didn't know this person, Okay, it.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Would be weird. I just show up in like a gown.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
They're gonna be like, are you the wife of the deceased.
I'm like, I didn't know him.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I just had my brows legs right.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Just trying to cover them up. But my boy or
I wear sunglasses the entire time, but my boyfriend knows them,
and he asked if I would go. And then when
I sat down at the laser place and she started
doing it, and I was like, oh, I was like, shoot,
I have something on Saturday where I don't really think
I'm gonna want to wear reading glasses and I can't
wear a hat. And she's like, well, do you want
to not treat? And I'm like, well, when is a
(14:59):
good time. There's never a good time. And I think
The only thing about this particular event, which happens to
be a funeral, is that I'm going with him, and
he's going to be seeing a lot of people that
he knows, and he's going to be introducing me. You
have a yeah, okay, obviously, the bigger, more important thing
is we're dealing with someone that lost their life. So
who cares. Like, I'll figure this out, it doesn't really matter.
(15:22):
I just think I feel a little naked, vulnerable and
secure walking into a situation with him, and I also
want him to feel good, and I'm like, this is
my girlfriend. I don't know because yeah, they're like purple.
It also looks like maybe I can purple. You can't
see because the hat, they absolutely are purple. Where there's
a brute, there's a bruise right here in a line,
(15:43):
And what is it going to look like? We're in
an unhealthy relationship?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Like it? It's not great?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
So what's your solution.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I'll cross that.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Bridge when I get there tomorrow. But I think my
plan is I have these other glasses that are like aviators,
But like you, I know you feel this exact same
way about them. I have worn them before I even
wore them on the Bobby Bone Show, and they said
I was like, Jeffrey Dahmer, So I think that's going
to be my vibe for the funeral.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Jeffrey Dahmer, that's.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Not a good vibe to walk into a funeral with.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I know. Yeah, but my other reading glasses what I
realized with those, I could wear them, but they touch my.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Brow and just put them on the edge of your nose.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I know, if you put them on the edge of
the nose, they don't cover my brows. I need them
to cover the brows. So all this to say, which
people are probably like, what we don't really care, which
I totally understand.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I totally get that.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I get that. But you're feeling vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
But I'm feeling vulnerable, and you know, you're meeting your
boyfriend's friends.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
You want to feel cute.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
You're at a funeral, which feels weird to say, so
I guess I really don't.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
I determined this doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I just need to go and support him and do
my thing, and no one will even care or think
to about my browse. It's my own insecurity. But I'm
just glad it's almost over. I'm glad that I started
it several months ago, and I've been consistent and diligent
with the treatments and hopefully we'll be done. And then
someone I had post about it on social media and
someone asked me if I would get them remcroblated, and
(17:18):
I originally thought yes. I originally thought when I started
the laser process that I was gonna redo them once
the old ones were gone. And now I don't know,
because A I have mastered putting them on, and B
if I ever need to remove them again, I don't
want to go through.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
This ever again. It has not been a simple process.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, because maybe because we're on this journey of botox
no botox, you want to let your face breathe for
a little bit to see what you're going to do.
Yeah maybe, Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I don't know, but I'm definitely glad that it's we're
hitting on. So these are all my feelings, Like, hey,
let's be posted on my Jeffrey Dahmer funeral look.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Send us fis. I want the video of you dancing,
and I want to see your Jeffrey Dahmer funeral look.
Also interesting, you'd rather have that look than the woman
in morning look?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, I don't have a woman in mourning hat, so
I guess I'd have to find that. And then also
I feel like my boyfriend be like, what are you wearing?
Why are you wearing that ridiculous hat? And I'm like,
this is my funeral hat.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
But I wear every funeral.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I have a couple of cowgirl hats, and I do
think that that is also how if I think back
to when I had my last laser, how I was
surviving some morek evince that I had to do, I
was wearing my cowgirl hat.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
I was like, you can't wear the cowgirl hat to
the funeral for sure. I thought, that's where you're going with.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
At Wait, well, why wouldn't I be able to wear
a cowgirl hat to a funeral?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Is that not?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
That feels it feels like a ver much. But what
if I was What if I was a cowgirl?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But you're not.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
You're from Texas.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I'm not the expert on funerals. I feel like I
would rather you wear a lady in mourning hat than
a cowgirl hat.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Okay, so my options are lady in mourning hat, cowgirl hat,
or Jeffrey Dahmer glasses.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, I feel like if.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I well, or I raw dog it and just wear
my brass like.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I just go. That is an option. I don't know. Okay,
so that's gonna work. Yeah, let us know what you do.
This is gonna be very interesting. You have some good options.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Thank you. I'll keep you posted.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I know that I talked a little bit about Stashia
having her hip hop desire, like she loved it so much,
like she.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Wants to do it.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
But I do have a Stevenson update for you that
I don't know if I've given it to you yet.
So for anybody listening, Stevens my son, so shares my daughter.
So she's into hip hop right now. I can tell
(19:59):
she got the bug. She already she said, if you
take privates, can I join?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Wait, you really talked about taking privates? Yes?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, why not?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I just love this for you know, I want you
to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, okay, could be a thing. So Stevenson has a girlfriend.
It's kind of a big deal.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Heat what great?
Speaker 3 (20:18):
How old is he He's going to be in eighth grade?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Okay, mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And I have to tell you the cutah story. So
they went to the movies, so her mom dropped them off,
and I'm friends with her parents, so it's kind of fun.
We even had a group text with the mom and
the dad there, and then me and Ben like, the
mom said, hey, who knows if this is going to
last two weeks, two months, or two days, but this
(20:43):
is so.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Cool, how fun.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
But also they have a son that our son is
friends with, and he would do sleepovers over there. And
she's like, well, now that he's dating his sister or
their boyfriend and girlfriend, no more sleepovers. Hope y'all are
on board with that, And I'm like, oh, yeah, well
I was going to say the same exact thing. So
glad we're on the same page. So we are friends
(21:05):
and that makes it fun. She picked them up, dropped
them off with movies, and I had to pick them up,
so I pick them up. And then after we dropped
her off at home, I was like, so, did you'll
sit by each other? And there was other people there too,
and he said, yeah, we sat by each other, but
we had our other friends around. And I said, well,
did you hold her hand? And he said, oh, not yet,
and I said, oh, okay, Well I was just curious.
(21:28):
He goes, I'm taking things slow, but I am going
to be smooth like melted butter.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
And I was like, where did you even get this?
Saying like where did you hear that?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
And he's like, I made it up, but that's my vibe,
like melted butter.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Okay, So I have questions about this. If his friend
wants to sleep over here.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, his friend can sleep over here, it's just that
he can't sleep over there because she's there.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
That's his sister.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Is she older? Younger?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Saying no, they're the same age?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Okay, this kind of messy, like your friend is now
dating your sister.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I think they're at the age where the brother thinks
it's kind of cool.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
He's like, i'll let you.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
The brother was actually in the car when I picked
them up, too, and the brother got in the front
seat with me, and then Steven said, and his girlfriend
sat in the back, and Stephen said, oh, Eli, you're
sitting up front, and he's like, I'll let you two
love birds sit in the back, like okay, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, yeah sort of. That's so fun. Okay, so how
do you feel?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
I feel good.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I'm glad he's having this experience. Kind of cute fun
watching them FaceTime, and I just hope, yeah, if it
doesn't work out that it doesn't impact any friendships.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Or anything that they have.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I'm like, we're too young for this, but it is
kind of sweet to see him like somebody, yeah, and
they're talking to each other.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I had a boyfriend in seventh grade for two weeks
and we didn't speak to each other for the two weeks.
I think he would like message me on aim, but
that's it. If we saw him each other at school,
we would walk the other way. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
When I had boyfriends in elementary school, we would talk
on the phone all the time, and then yeah, when
I would see him at school, we didn't speak at all.
But by junior high, if I had a boyfriend, we
would talk about.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Oh well, I guess what's junior high to you? Middle school? Sixth, seventh, eighth,
Oh okay, you were more mature than me.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I can see that.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Just kidding. You know.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Something came up on the Bobby Bone Show about dating
and if you would take a million dollars to break
up with your partner, and we were all like, no,
what about five million?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
And some people on the show.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Were like, oh, yeah, I'm out, like current, Yes, current,
I'm out, And I was saying no, and they're like
what you're in a new relationship. I said, well, we've
been dating eight months. And also I feel like I
wouldn't keep dating him if I didn't think we were
actually going somewhere, and the thought of going back into dating.
The only time I dated before this season obviously was
(23:52):
married for about seventeen years, but then dating back in
the day or gosh, we were just talking about elementary school,
junior highigh scho like those are the years where it's
real fun. In your forties and fifties, I'd have found
it to be like super fun, it's actually exhausting. And yeah,
it was just a lot and the type of men
(24:13):
that are available, at least, maybe I just hadn't met
the right ones my experience.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Now, I had some that are nice.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yes I'm not saying a blanket statement that they're all bad,
but it just wasn't super fun or it seemed like
there was a lot of available men that were fitting what.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
I was looking for.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
So the fact that I found someone that I really
enjoy being with and vice versa, he enjoys being with me,
I don't want to throw that away. Yes, is that
a ton of money, Sure, but I'd rather have my
lifestyle the same and not have that money and not
be lonely. Anyway, the thought of dating just felt exhausting
(24:52):
to me. So I just didn't know if you would
take a million dollars and break up with a big.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
P Even if I would, I would lie. I think, Okay,
I wouldn't. But like, I'm so the reason I'm saying this,
I'm shocked that anybody would admit that who has a
current partner that is just asking to be in a fight.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So like if you're like, oh my gosh, I'm glad
you're saying this. So I brought back to the guys.
I went and ask my boyfriend this, and I said
that he said the same thing as me, that he
wouldn't take it, And they all said that exact same thing.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
If they're well, he's not going to tell you the truth,
like yeah, imagine, yes, then you're gonna want to break.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Up with it. When you're asking him that, you're just
like asking that for affirmation. I think really, like, see,
he wouldn't do it, but if you would do it,
it's it's a fake scenario, so like it's not like
if it's really happening, maybe they would do it, because
then they get the five million dollars. But if it's
a fake scenario, that's just asking for a fight. So
I don't trust anybody's answers. But I'm extra curious why
(25:52):
somebody would admit that unless they're just trying to ruffle
some feathers, right, like, if you're in a happy marriage, Actually, no.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
You're not in a happy marriage if you're saying yes
to that, because I would say, towards the end of
my marriage, if you were to be like, here's five million,
I'd be like, okay, but.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
That's horrible to say.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
But when I ended up divorcing anyway, and I know
that I know that on the because I'm on the
other side of it.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yeah, so I'm able to say.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
That now and yes, yeah, but anyway, just the thought
of me dating now felt exhausting, So I didn't know
with you, like, if you were to somehow end up
in the dating pool, let's put this money hypothetical aside,
could you imagine dating again right now?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So that's a mixed question for me because it doesn't
feel that long ago to me. I've been with Patrick
for three and a half years, but I did a
lot of dating all through my twenties and early thirties,
so I was very used to that where you weren't
used to it. Now. Do I want to jump back
into that? No, And I'm glad that you said this.
(26:57):
The pool is different, like post thirty because of the
way that our society does get in the times that
people get married, people are usually either in relationships or
there can be some other stuff going on. And I'm
trying to say this not to like make myself look bad,
Like the availability of healthy people gets lower and lower
(27:19):
as we get older. So no, I don't want to
be in that again. But also a lot of my
friends are in it, so I wouldn't be alone.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
That's true. That's true.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
I don't want to make it also seem so miserable
for those that might be in it or entering it, Like, yeah,
there can be a lot of fun that comes.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
From it and growth.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I have some good times, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Like you have good times, you have bad times.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
I am really grateful for my experience because I learned
a lot through my dating experience. Do I want to
go on these bad dates again or like have the
experiences where like my feelings were really hurt. No, but
some of the stories are really funny. I'm like, well
that that was exciting.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
You know, yeah, and you have those stories you can
bust out.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yeah, I'm time to time my date jar that we
put them all in. So what actually that should be
a show we do one day is I bring the
date jar and we read them.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
You must bring the date jar and we just pull
it out and read them. Read all right, date jar episode?
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Okay. Also speaking of exhausted, I was on Instagram when
I saw this post from doctor Amy Shaw and she
had like a definition of a word which was this
would be hard for me to say. I read it
and it worked, but saying out loud, IM need some
help exhaustor wellmulated, Oh that wasn't so bad. Exhaust realmulated.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'm going to try to put in put together all
the words I think those are. So is it a
combination of exhausted, overwhelmed, and overstimulated?
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yes, huh, all at once. And I clocked it because
I've been feeling not in the data world in my relationship,
but I've been feeling, you know this, like crazy. I
think every day I probably texted you being like I
feel crazy today because I have a lot going on,
and it felt chaotic, and I think I was telling
(29:14):
myself a story that it was bad. I'm so busy,
I have so much to do that this is bad.
It was like I think the behind the scenes, like
there was this message of like this is not good.
And then I was talking to my therapist about it.
Because one thing that I do know about myself is
I am impulsive. So I do a lot of like
how you would start individual private dance lessons from taking
(29:37):
one dance class, Like that's something I would do. I
get an idea in my head and I just do it.
And two things came out of that conversation. One she
was like, well, was that gotten you in trouble? Like
how you function that way? And I said no, Actually
that has been what has gotten me most of the
things that I really love in my life. Like I
(29:58):
don't think too much about things. I want to start
a podcast, I just start a podcast. Yeah, I want
to open a practice. I just opened a practice. I
wanted to be a cycling instructor. I had no experience
of teaching fitness or riding bikes indoors. I did that.
I wanted to go. I go want get asked on
(30:18):
a date, I go on the date, Like, I don't
think too much about that kind of stuff, big things,
and I think if I thought too much about them,
I want to do them. You know, I would analyze them,
Like with the cycling, I'd be like, oh would I
be good at that? Would that be embarrassing? How would
I feel? What would my friends think? Like, I didn't
think if any of that is did it? So she
was like, Okay, well maybe this is one of this
(30:40):
could be one of those things with the stuff that
I was taking on. And then we kept talking and
I realized the anxiety that I felt is more I'm excited,
like I'm taking on this stuff. We're trying to move.
I don't know. I'm trying to keep that a secret.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
It's well, I think you have other things going on too, though,
oh yeah yeah yeah, Like to me, the moving is
like a small part of it.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Yeah, I get that that moving is a huge deal.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I mean, they say top five things that can add
stress to your life, moving is one of them.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Yeah, so there is a lot going.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
On, but I think you have other factors that are
feeding into that, which you know you may talk about
one day you maybe won't. But it's funny about yourself
can race that because don't you think yes?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
But also with that too, there's no question in my
mind about that part of what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I guess it can just like magify.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
With the movie and I'm like, is this the right time?
Is this?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
So?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Like? Am I just doing this because I'm impulsive? Am
I? I was like questioning it, and I'm like, wait a second,
I have to remember that when I don't question myself, Yes,
there are times you should think through things, and I'm
not just like, oh, I like this house. I don't
know how much money I have, I'm gonna buy it.
Like I know that there's certain things that you have
to think about when you're buying a house moving. But
(32:01):
when I don't overanalyze things and I trust myself and
allow myself to like lead myself, things have worked for me.
And now those roads weren't perfect, Like with the cycling intructing,
the first audition I did, I didn't make it. It was
actually quite embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Wait, you didn't make it, like at a studio, like
you were auditioning to become an instructor and they didn't
hire you.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
They didn't hire me. Oh no, And then the second
place that I auditioned. What's funny as I interviewed, I
reached out to them because I wanted to just manage
the studio. I was having a crisis and I was like,
I shouldn't be a therapist anymore. I'm going to manage
a gym.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
I know.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
She was like, keep your job, like you can still
be a therapist, but you need to go see a therapist.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
She keep your job, but you might like what if
you auditioned to be an instructor? And I was like, oh,
I've done that once and they said no. So I
was like, okay, sure in that audition. It's funny because
the trainer would joke about it later. But she was
like you were really bad and I had to like
stop you and like change some things. But she was like,
I saw that you're trainable and teachable, and so I
(33:10):
took that like idea of potential.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I need to know, like what your bad class was.
I need to know like what.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
What made it bad? I mean you just like turn
the knob up, like how could you know? I mean,
you gotta have good music, and they're just like, yell,
it's some encouraging things.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So an audition, though, isn't a full class. It's just well, okay,
do you want to know about the two auditions? Is
this okay?
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I mean I guess yes, now I'm invested.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I'm just curious, Like, you need to be inspirational, you
need good music, and you gotta do some hills and
some sprints.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
So the first place that I auditioned, it wasn't open yet,
so we send a video in and answer some questions. I
invited us back, and then they did individual little auditions
in this like apartment complex where they just had this
one bike in the corner, and they played music off
of a fun and they said, we can teach you
how to be an instructor. We just want to make
(34:03):
sure that you have rhythm. Oh yeah, So I couldn't
really hear the music, so I guess maybe I didn't
have rhythm. I remember they played like a Taylor Swift song,
and what they did was they kept like changing the
music so you would have to find the beat really fast.
So I guess maybe they were like, she doesn't have rhythm.
Never heard from the man. The other one, which is
usually what it's like to audition, is you go into
(34:26):
a room of nobody, like two people that are judging you,
and you just teach to fake people. And we did
like thirty seconds of two songs. So I guess my
thirty seconds of two songs of my fake teaching was
not great.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Like give me an example, Like what'd you say, like, hey,
welcome to class, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
What I said, but I know one of my songs
was Hailey Steinfeld Starving and the justin Timberlake Trolls song.
I got this feeling in some messle I would never
play either of those songs nowa but they, oh, they
chose me. But then you had to go through a
boot camp, so they molded you, and then you could
get cut every day of the boot camp and you
(35:07):
survived somehow, Like I honestly am like why eventually I
got good after doing it for I got decent after
doing it for years. But in the beginning, I would
love to know what people thought about, like truly thought
about my classes.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I'm glad I don't have those videos.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I never came.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, it was like, speaking of videos, we need to know,
especially that one of you where they're just filming you
alone on a bike in the corner of an apartment
I'm like.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Are you sure you were at an autition?
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Like, but also I was nervous, so I'm like, I
bet they could like hear me like breathing over the
like low music, you know what I mean? Like, Yeah,
that's bad. When things are quiet, it's so much easier
to be confident in loud.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Spaces, Like at the hip hop class when I showed
up and there was more people and it was dark and.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Loud, I let loose.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, Like, if there had only been ten people in
this massive room, I don't think I would have been
able to shake it off because I had to really
see more intimate.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
I feel like when I'm talking in front of people,
if I have a microphone, I feel more confident, but
if I have to project my own voice, there's like
a vulnerability in that. Anyway, I didn't mean to really
talk about that. I really was bringing that up because
I thought it was interesting that I had this experience
where I'm like, this is bad that you feel this way,
and my anxiety was actually excitement and I didn't allow
(36:25):
my Well, I eventually did, but for a period of
time I wasn't allowing myself to listen to that, and I
was making assumptions about my feelings versus really really listening
to them.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
So how are you supposed to know?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I mean, this is good, especially since there's a feeling
things podcasts about our feelings, Like what if somebody else
listening right now, it's like I've been feeling some anxiety
around XYZ in my life and now they're wondering.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Hmm, what if it's actually excitement.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I think talking to people about it because I think
I was having this looping conversation in my head. And
that's why therapists need to go to therapy, because I
cannot be non judgmental towards myself. I have all my
bias inside of me pointing back at me. So the
questions that I'm asking myself can be very different than
the questions that somebody else would ask me. And one
(37:24):
of the things she asked me was what are you
looking for when you're talking to other people about these things?
Because I at one point I was like, nobody's telling
me what to do. Nobody that I was talking to
about these decisions I was making was telling me what
to do. They were all saying, you have to make
this decision, and I was like, I was just want
I was like, even you, like, you're not telling me
(37:45):
what to do, like I want somebody to tell me
what to do. And she's like, are you sure? Because
what if I said do this? Because then she's like,
how do you show up when people tell you what
to do? And I go, actually, I hate when people
tell me what to do.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
You hate it.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It's almost like you're like, I want somebody to tell
me what to do. But also I hate when people
tell me what to do.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
So she was like, okay, so maybe you're not looking
for that, and I said, you know what I'm looking
I'm just looking for people to affirm what I already
know that I want. That's what I want, but people
can't affirm what I want. That I might have to
affirm myself. But also people can't affirm this unless I'm
sharing it with them too. Some of the stuff I
wasn't sharing with people.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So because you were overwhelmulated, Yeah, you couldn't identify the excitement? Yes, yeah, overwhelmulated.
Do you think that'll make the dictionary?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Why wouldn't it? That is so helpful. We don't have
to say three words, we say one and we can
understand what I mean.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I'm just overwhelmulated.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Okay, okay, back off, Yeah and affirm me.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah, do you even know what overwhelmulated means?
Speaker 1 (38:51):
I do, Yeah, I don't think my therapist did.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
And if you say that to somebody, they're gonna be like,
you're what the you're over well mulated?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Yeah, think about it.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Like that's not even real word. And you're gonna say,
look it up in the dictionary, and they're going to
say it's not in there, is it.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
No, it's not even overwelmulated, isn't it. Hold on, exhaustor wellulated.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Overwomulated is too easy of a word, exhaust womulated exhauster,
and we could add exhaust or overwelmulated exhaust emulated. Anyway,
Well I love that.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Ye, now we know exhaustor well mulated.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah. I went through a whole journey this week of
feeling like ooh, this is bad to like, wait a second,
this is very exciting. This is a very exciting time.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
M hmm it is. I had to listen to my
gut this week too. On my emergency contact. I'm gonna
have to get a new passport because mine expires at
the end of the year, so I'm just trying to
do all the paperwork, so it's filling everything out, took
my new photo, submitting it all online, and I had
to enter my emergency contact. Well, the last time I
(39:58):
did my passport to my emergency cont textist my husband
at the time, and I thought, well, who's going to
be my new emergency contact. I can't put my boyfriend
because well, what if we break up.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Because this is like the next ten years, yes.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
The next ten years, which I don't think we're going
to break up. He says that I say that a lot,
like I'll be like, what if we break up? Or
you should just go ahead and break up with me.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I think I'll just try to get ahead of it,
just in case it's not healthy.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Are you saying that when you're in conflict.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
I'm exhaustor welmulated.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Okay, no, not when we're in conflict. More like, I
say it totally jokingly. It's in a very light moment,
but I'm maybe admitting something about myself where I'm just like, okay, fine,
if you're just gonna break up with me, she'd probably
do it now. But it's like, is there a hidden
thing underneath? And like why I keep doing that? And
(40:52):
he's like, you've been saying that a lot lately, and
I said, I have, Okay, I'll work on that because
I don't want to Also, I don't want to manifest
that either.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
That feels like a yeah, defense mechanism. We're like, I'm
just going to call this. It's like image management when
I like call something out about myself before somebody else
can notice it so I can get ahead of it.
It's like, we'll just break up with me. So then
what you also probably want him to say is why
would I do that?
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, I know when I'm fishing for a fight, right,
and I do something, And I totally do that, But
I don't mean I'm fishing for him to be like,
I'm not going to break up with you, because I
do think I'm saying it in lighter moments, I'm not
actually expecting a response, but I didn't realize how much
I was doing it. Yeah, so SOMs could be on
a subconscious level. It's lingering back there. So maybe I
(41:37):
need to listen to subliminals that are like, you're secure
in your relationship, have no fear, you are fine, And
he does not want to break up with you.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
You can put him as your emergency contact.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, well I don't know that far that far, but
I did have to. I like, I was checking in.
I was like, what do I I was like, I
could keep being and honestly beIN and ie co parenting
and friendship relationship is the best it's been right now. Yeah,
And I'm so proud of us. It hasn't always been
this great. It's been good, and then it's had rocky
(42:09):
moments for sure that were sort of circumstantial, and now
it's just really seems healthy and good and I'm very
very very very thankful for that.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
We're even working on a charity event together.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Wait, but how would Alex feel if you put your
ex husband as your emergency contact.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Well, it wouldn't be that I was putting. It would
be that I would just leave him. Okay, I know,
I know, I know, but I.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Yeah, like, whoops, I didn't know that I had to
redo that.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yeah, well, I'm saying I had to listen to my gut.
I'm like, oh, this doesn't this would not even be right.
But it just seemed like I think I just felt
a little like there's parts of me, like my younger
part of me that never saw myself getting divorced, and
so this was a moment where I'm having to face
a decision that.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Equals that I got divorced. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yeah, It's ber than just the It's like Ben's always
going to be in my life because we have kids together,
and what if I'm on a trip with my kids,
it makes sense that Ben would be the emergency contact,
you know, Like I just left the country with the
kids a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
And Ben would be who we would need.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
To contact because he's the father of my kids. So
I didn't think it was that far fetched. But then
it'll listen to my gut. My gut was like find
somebody else. But then parts of me that were had
a little bit of shame of like, uh, well, you
wouldn't even be in this situation if you had just
figured out your marriage and then you never got divorced,
(43:37):
you know. And then I was like, stop, We're not
doing that. Stop I'm not going to do that. So
this was a big internal conversation with myself. Yes, So
then ultimately, drum roll, I decided on my sister, which.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Sound I mean that might be obvious to some people.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Like, oh, just pick your sister. But for what reason
she wasn't popping into my head right away? And then
I was like, well, then I was like, don't have mom,
don't have a dad, don't have a husband, you know something.
I was like, Oh, yeah, I do have a sister,
and gosh, darnett, she loves me.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Gosh darnett, she would love to be your emergency contact.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Right.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Yeah, And then of course I know I have friends
that I could sign up for that position too, And honestly,
let's just hope I'm never in a situation where I
have my passport, because that would mean I'm likely in
another country and we have to contact in emergency contact.
That just seems freaky to me. I don't want anything
that ever happened to me in a foreign country.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Yeah, but that's a big deal. And I like your
like road that you went down on to get there.
I like the internal dialogue you had, and I think
this also is like probably a big deal for other
people too, to submerge on emergency contacts there, whether they
have never been married before, or they're going through something
like you where they got divorced and now they're getting
(45:00):
a new document, or they have to answer this question
for the first time. Like, I think that can be
a it's a realization of what happened, Like what you.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Said speaking of the charity event that Ben and I
are doing, I just realized that I've sort of had
some internal dialogue and made up this whole thing, and you.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Would be involved in it a little bit too, So
I kind.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Of need to go over it with you after this. Wait,
I know you don't like being told what to do,
but this is for foster kids.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
So you mean after we're done recording, Well.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
We just need it in the next week or so.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
I need to update you with some decisions that I
have mine agreed to do on behalf of foster Children,
and it'll involve our listeners too.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
I think it's gonna be fun. I think you're gonna
love it.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
And Big P can be there, okay, and then my
boyfriend can be there, and then my ex.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Husband will be there.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Good times, my former emergency contact and your future emergency.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Potential emergency emergency contact will be all hanging out together.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Do you like you like top cough?
Speaker 1 (45:59):
I love top golf.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Well, guess what it's gonna be a top golf.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
You know the last time I did a charity at
Top Golf, I won. Shut up, Yeah, I won a
six month membership to Top Golf. However, I didn't know
that it started effective immediately, so I waited six months
to activate it and then it was expired. So I'd
love to win another one.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Well, I had no idea I might have the winner
on my team like me, because you would be on
my team.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
I think my team carried me, though I don't know
that it was me. My team won.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Sorry, that was as advertising, one hundred percent false advertising.
You said, did you know I won?
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I didn't win. I did win. I was on the
winning team, so therefore I won and I was the
head of the team, so I got to have the membership.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Okay, Well, well we can talk offline about this little
bit since I dropped like a hint. We will have
listeners that are gonna pretty much just be able to
come be a part of this, and they won't have
to pay anything because we have a sponsor that is covering,
like an under riding the entire event, so that part's
paid for it.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
There are other people. There are other.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Sponsorship opportunities for different bays where companies could bring a
team if they want to, or families could come and
build it. But since we had the underwriter, which is
Taylor Farms shout out everything with Top Golf, the fees
for that is covered. So whatever money comes in for
the event, one hundred percent will go to the foster.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
That's amazing, So and Patrick will love that too.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
Yeah, and what it's gonna be fun for us since
Taylor Farms paid for several bays for us, We're just
going to get to invite listeners and they get to
bring a guest and it'll be like a fun outing.
And it's for Isaiah one seventeen house. If anybody's familiar,
there a nationwide organization, but we're been and I go
to church.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
We still go to the same church.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
They're very involved with that and Ben has gotten involved
in it, and we wanted the kids to be involved.
And then as part of our healthy co parenting, we're like, well,
it might be good if our kids see us giving
back to something together.
Speaker 3 (47:58):
And so I'm gonna need to.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
Give you the date.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
We'll share all the details on the podcast later, but
it'll probably be a giveaway that we'll do on our
Instagram to listeners. So we'll give you all the information here,
but then y'all need to follow us Feeling Things podcast
and it'll be something really easy, basically like comments wipe here,
comment here, and we'll just select somebody and then you'll
get to come with a guest to Top Golf for
(48:21):
an evening there and it includes like a FETA buffet
and Top Golf Top Contender prizes.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
And maybe I'll want another membership and I'll use it
this day.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
And I'll actually use it.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Sorry, I hadn't shared any of that with you yet,
but I was like, Kat will be totally.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Into this if I was like, I'm not doing that. Also,
I just don't think that our.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Friendship wouldn't really work out if you were into that,
because it's not like I'm signing up for something like horrible.
It's actually something good and then also something fun because
we have been looking for a way to connect with
listeners and listen like our tell me no, I just
get forgetting, I think is well, he I've known you
had a lot going on, so it's like between your
stuff going on, and then I had my kids this
(49:02):
week and it sort of finalized this week Ben and
I had a call and so you could see where
this week it just hadn't come up yet.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
Yeah. I don't know if you felt like I was
being SIB lately.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
But I was SIB this week too.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
And if y'all are now to listening, SIB is when
you're talking to your friend, you can just use that
acronym and be like SIB, which means sorry, a bitchy.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
And it helps lighten the mood. But Kat was SIV
this week. I was SIV this week.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
So do you see how with our sib nois, I
didn't have time to talk to you about how I
was signing you up?
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Oh joined me?
Speaker 1 (49:37):
I would fully throw us over the edge.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah, but I think it'd be a fun night. Yeah,
and it's I know.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
iHeart Festival is the weekend of the twentieth of September
and this weekend after that, So probably like the twenty
sixth or something that Friday, tell me you're not gonna
be in like Vermont?
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Are you here?
Speaker 4 (49:55):
Was going to be in Vermont on September twenty sixth.
That was the date it was I meant to be
that that gout cancel. We might in a week before that,
but we were looking at that. I don't remember what day,
it doesn't matter because I canceled it.
Speaker 3 (50:06):
Yeah, that's that's crazy serendipitous.
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yeah, I know you're pretty bummed about having to cancel
that trip, but see how it worked out.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
Now you get to I really want isn't that bummed
thought about it? That's another one of those things, is
like I should I thought that, Like you should be
sad about this, but I am actually more excited about
why I had to cancel that. I canceled it for
top golf. I just didn't know.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Yeah, yeah, see, yeah everything works out sometimes some thus
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
I just don't like that saying. You know how some
people say it.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
Like it'll all work out in the end. If it
hasn't worked out yet, then it's not the end.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Everything always works out for me. That's like the sublements
that I listened to.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
I don't like girl syndrome.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
I don't mind programming my subconscious mind to think that way, though,
but I don't want to outwardly just be that way.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Well, the whole lucky girl syndrome thing. Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
So oh, we could do a lucky girl syndrome deep dive.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
We could. There's something recently that went viral on the
internet about somebody saying that like when they wanted to
get pregnant, they just were like, I am manifesting that
I have a healthy uterus and that I will get pregnant.
And then she said every time she tried, she got pregnant.
And I'm like, if it was.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
That easy, then I would have gotten pregnant.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
And guess months ago, I.
Speaker 2 (51:19):
Have like a bajillion negative pregnancy test that I can
show you from about twenty eleven that are proved that that.
But you know what, Kat, when I was trying to
get pregnant, I didn't do that. I didn't say.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Okay, saw That's why. That is why it's toxic, because
then people are like, well, if I would have done that,
then I wouldn't have I wouldn't have done this or
this or that, or like, come on, Yes, I think
believing positive thoughts, having positive thoughts cannot hurt you, and
it probably will help you. It is not a guarantee
to make it or break it.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
Yes, I agree, but you know, even when my mom
was sick, her doctors said through and through they see
it with patients all over. The more positive you are,
the better experience you have. But none of them are saying,
it means you're going to survive this and you're going
to beat cancer, but your experience is going to be
night and day. Yes, so I but that is what
(52:13):
I'm saying is I never even gave myself that chance.
I never I never said, uterus, you are strong, you
are healthy, you are kind, you are to carry a baby.
Speaker 3 (52:25):
You can do this. You are a baby magnet.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Okay. To be honest, I haven't done that either, but
I haven't had a very positive attitude in my head.
I'm like, I will get pregnant, I just don't know when.
But that hasn't gotten me pregnant. So I think that
that type of content or those kinds of stories, if
(52:51):
that worked for her, great, But I also think she
didn't get pregnant because she said that, right, She just
said that, and she also got pregnant. You see what
I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (53:02):
I know, but she has the lucky girl syndrome.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Okay, so we're gonna do a deep dive on that.
I would love to.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
Okay, all right, well, we hope y'all have.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
The day you need to have.
Speaker 3 (53:12):
Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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