December 25, 2025 • 38 mins
Amy is very excited about what she gifted herself for Christmas. Speaking of gifts, she and Kat talk about being a saver or a user when it comes to receiving gifts and what that might say about how you grew up. They also dive into a listener email about a friend who leans on “boundaries” and “self-care” a little too much and how confusing that can be. Amy and Kat break down the difference between healthy boundaries and simply shutting people out.
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HOSTS:
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Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you just falls home, Mayy and Cat gotcha Covin
like a a brother. Ladies and folks, do you just
follow Anna spirit where it's all the front over real
stuff to the chill stuff and them.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Just stop you feel things.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
This is Feeling Things with.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Amy and Kat. Happy Thursday and Marry Christmas for real,
Merry Christmas for real this time. Because if you're an
avid listener of Couch Talks, our Q and a episode
over Feeling Things podcast, you know that last Thursday we
thought it was Christmas. Got a good while, we thought
it was our Christmas episode, but it was not. Uh,
(00:50):
this one is. And Kat and I are were done
done with work work like done? Well, you said you
have one client next week. I have to now Oh
now I get a baller, so Kat has too. I've
got a little bit of work maybe like a tiny
bit left, and then we're pretty much done done. But
(01:10):
it is Christmas. And if you're listening to us on
Christmas morning, maybe you're getting ready, maybe you're on a walk,
maybe you're driving to a family member's house. Four hours
away and you were binging feeling things on preaky. Thank
you for our drive. Yeah, you never have, like you know,
done Christmas with the kids early in the morning and
(01:31):
then everybody loads up in the car and drives.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I don't have any kids.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
No, like as a kid when you were.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
During Christmas and my kids in the morning. We didn't
ever travel on Christmas or at Christmas time. But now
that you're saying that, I'm pretty sure Patrick would get
up Christmas Day morning and drive to West Virginia to
see his family.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
See. I think it's a common thing.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Which is also like, but I don't want to be
traveling on christs.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, well, sometimes you got to do which you gotta do.
When you got grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins
and different events, you're trying to be here, nor there
and everywhere, which is why this Christmas I am staying put.
I'm not going anywhere, which feels weird. I normally do
go to Colorado for Christmas, which my sister did text
me like, hey, never too late to book a flight
and come, So who knows, maybe by the time this
(02:22):
airs on Christmas, maybe I decided to do that, But
that is not that far away, and I'm probably not
going to do it because I think I need to
stay put. Sort of like a gift to myself. Yeah,
stay put. That was a gift to myself. And my
lion door knocker. That was my other gift to myself.
(02:43):
That was my Christmas present to myself.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Your Christmas gift to yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
A doorknocker that looks like a lion.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, I think I put that together.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Well, I didn't know if people were like, wait, a
lion door knocker brand because you saw it. If people
are just listening, they might be like, wait, what because
I've never had a door knocker ever. Have you had
had a door knocker like at your front door where
people come and they visit you and they're like, dunk, dunk.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I don't think so. But also I don't know. I
could have had one when I was like four years old,
but I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Door knocker.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah. You know how we use the word sick.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
It's sick.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It's sick.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
We can only see the back of it right now.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
No, No, I know what it's going to look like
when we open the door. So as a cat and
I have been sitting here waiting to record. My doorknocker
is getting installed, and there's been some drilling, there's.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Been some curiosity on our part.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It looks like we're hoping that it's going to turn
out right because where we record in my house, there's
these French doors that look right out into where my
front door is, and normally we have to even put
a note on the front door that says recording in progress.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Which like that sounds like such a legit note, but
it's like on a piece of like it's like a
legal pad, yellow piece of paper scribbled on.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
With painters take on the on the door.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Which reminds me. I used to do that when I
was a kid. I would put a colored a red
dot on a piece of paper and taped it on
my bedroom door. Instead of I was recording and I
would like be singing.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
In my room like it was like my work shadowing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
It was like my recording studio. So like now I
moved from that paper note to this paper note.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It's very official, but now we need to change the
wording because it says like recording in progress. Like does
it say please knocker, like don't ring the doorbells? Obviously right,
and now it seems don't use the knocker, feel like
the knocker is gonna be like my pa because this
is a big lion and it's unlaquered brass. It's beautiful,
(04:40):
like my front door just got a glow up. A
lackered brass, unlackered.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Unlackered, unlackered. So what's lacquered?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I just we want it to be unlackered.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Well, unlackered is like the really shiny beautiful brass that
can patina overtime, you know, like my sink. Patina. I
just know the words.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Use that word like it was a normal word.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It is it.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You're like a patina overtime and just kept going. You
knew I wasn't gonna know what that meant.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, that's why I said, don't ask you to define that,
because how I will say it in layman stern. Okay,
you look it up and then I'll describe it to you.
So it ages over time. My sink, for example, the
faucet in my kitchen is unlacquered brass, and it was
really really shiny when I first got it, but it
is patinaed over time, and you'll notice it's a little
(05:34):
more weathered and worn looking, like the color changes. What
is that onwear my faucet in my kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
It's patina.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
It is starting to patina. Patina's over time. The patina
is a progress. I can like it happens so like,
look at my front door right now. See how shiny
that handle is. It's so shiny. My sink used to
be that shiny. It was not anymore because it's patina.
Is your doorkno gonna pat Yeah, it's gonna patina. And
you want that, You want the patina, Okay. And the
(06:05):
more people that touch my knocker.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
No, it's not gonna patina. Your knocker's not gonna be patina.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
My knocker wool patina. It's unlaquer brass.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Oh and if it was lacquered, then it would a patina.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I guess, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Let me just reach a little bit. In the context
of brass, patina refers to the natural thin layer that
forms on the metal surface as a result of chemical
reactions with the surrounding like my hands, like our skin,
old environment. Yes, uh, it's known as patination.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Or relieving that drilled sound in so people get the
real effect of what we've been dealing with because Cat
and I've been trying to record for like I don't know,
like thirty while Wait.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
It says it's caused by oxidation and the interaction with moisture,
carbon dioxide, sulfur, blah blah blah, oh, oxidation and human hands. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
See, the more you touch the faucet, the more patinas.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Is it gonna turn green?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
It can, but to me that's a little it's like
a green blue that is a little bit of character.
But then you can also get polished and you can
clean it. Okay, I'm you can line it back up.
It's beautiful, but okay, you can.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
You can make it different colors, because this is like
saying that it could be turquoise.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, that's not what you don't want to no, no, no, no, no,
no no no, Mine's just gonna be I'm gonna call it.
I'm making this up. But mine is a loved on brass.
It's aged appropriately like like a fine wine.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, like something you would see in the museum.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah yeah, or like I guess I'm thinking of, or
like an antique.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, that's like something that you would say at.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Gas lamp if you ever shopped at gas Lamp in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I've never been there.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
There's also gas Lamp too. If you'll ever come to Nashville,
check out gas Lamp and gas Lamp too, next to
the home depot on Thompson Lane.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Where's that sounded like a legit ad No it's not.
Where's the second?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I wish it's right behind it? Got the different just
more boots, Like people have their individual boots.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And they can boots. No bos.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
They may have boots, but it's booths booths. So my
Christmas gift to myself was my lion and also staying put.
No travel. What's your gift to yourself?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
A trip to New York City.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I'm so excited for you. You know, we thought about
joining y'all, we're not.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I haven't ideated you you were gonna go.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I know we thought about it, and then that wouldn't
be the gift. The gift to myself is to stay
I need to stay put.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I also gave myself the gift of wallpaper in my
dining room, which happened a couple weeks ago, or like
a week ago, But that was a huge, huge accomplishment.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
For me, and that was so good. And I know
you were very stressed about picking the right wallpaper, because
that is a stressful process.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It's non patinaed wallpaper.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, I have I have regrets about my dining room wallpaper.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
But you were trying to pump yourself when.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I sent you in a video. It was totally pumped.
I was like, look, there's dogs and deer and and
a herder, a sheep, herder and sheep.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
What don't you like about it?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
It's just sort of once you put up your wallpaper,
your wallpaper is a little more has a little more
pizazz to it, even though it's not. It's just busier
and like more colors, and it's prettier. Mine is very plain.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Well, do you remember the wallpaper you're trying to get
me to put in my dining room? No, what was it? Was?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
It plained? No, it was your.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Bathroom wallpaper, which is great for a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Oh that is. It is great for a dining room.
It's great for a dining room.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
It's beautiful. But there's one reason I would never put
that in my dining room.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
The naked women.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
There's naked women.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
All in it, not all. They're scattered about and you
barely see them.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
People would find them, and I feel like my name
would be like, hey cat, why is this naked girl
in the bush in your dining room?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Technically she's leaning against a tree. Okay, I if I
could redo it, because nobody sees my bathroom, I would
have flipped it. I would have put my bathroom wallpaper
in my dining room.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Really, well, you have a you're an adult, I'm an adult.
You have an adult adult children, you have teenagers.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Okay, this is not saying they're not my kids. Also,
are not paying them much attention to wallpaper. They would
never even notice the naked women I did, and if
and if they did, I'd be like, respect the woman.
She's not like. It's not sexual graphic or anything. It's
more of like a silhouette leaning into a tree.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, it is beautiful. I also for anybody who is
looking for wallpaper, I'm just gonna shout this out. The
lady that did my wallpaper showed me this, and I
want to put it in my bathroom now. But you
know it's expensive. It's if you just google drunk monkey wallpaper,
it's a bunch of monkeys hanging in trees, smoking cigars,
(10:58):
drinking out of liquor bottles and like bros hanging on trees.
It's like really cute, but like, you couldn't put that
in a common It would be really cute in like
a restaurant bathroom or in like an adult's bathroom, but
I can't really have that downstairs with small children around.
I feel like it's inappropriate.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, drunk monkey wallpaper?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Did you find it?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Just slicked it up? Yeah, it's cute, so cute, that's right.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
So anybody's looking for something fun and different, shout out.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You know. One time when I almost put in my
half bath at my last house was this Golden Girl's wallpaper.
It had all four of the Golden Girls in their
heads and they were just floating everywhere on the wall.
And for a half bath. I thought it was going
to look so cute. And I ordered a sample, which
is what you should do always always.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I didn't order a sample of mine that I bought.
They didn't sell samples. Well how did you pick it?
I just was like I had to pull the trigger.
I'd ordered like fifteen samples of others.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So it wasn't even one of the samples.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
You have, no wow, But I think I could have
returned it like if.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes, if you got in the roles, you could return it.
Well that's what I had to do with. Well, actually
I didn't even order the Golden Girls one. I ordered
the sample and they sent me a pretty large one,
bigger than you normally get. But now I know why
they had to send it so big, because the heads
were huge. But on the computer they looked little and like,
I don't know, it looked cute, and then when I
(12:16):
got it in they were like life sized heads and
I was like, no, this is freaking me out.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It was no longer cute.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
It was scary. So the dreams of my Golden Girls
bathroom went down.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm sure you could find that maybe makes up.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I don't know. I gave up on it. I just
didn't do it. Now, you know, Kat and I have
our little Christmas gifts to ourself. Yours is New York
and wallpaper, and mine was a lion knocker and staying.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Put a lime knocker.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
When it comes to gifts and stuff? Do you consider
yourself a saverer you when it comes to gifts, like
when you got Christmas gifts as a kid, or maybe
if you get them now as an adult, do you
use them right away or do you save them?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Oh, I'm a user. I can't wait to put on
that new sweater or play that new game or whatever
it is. I'm immediate, immediate.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, I would say I'm pretty immediate too, So we're users,
but our personalities are similar.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
But savor, I can see if you're a I don't
know where you're going with this, but in my head,
I'm like parents who get tons of gifts from like
grandparents and aunts and this and that, and santap I
can see them giving their kids a couple of gifts
at a time versus all. Is that what you mean
by savor? And then like over time you bring out
a new toy.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
No, it's like for how you are as the receiver
of the gifts, not the giver, like not parents saving
to give Like it's like when you open a gift,
do you use it or save it? This I am
going somewhere with it. I saw a child psychologist post
about why kids do one or the other, and it's
tied into how you grew up. The saver saves the
(14:10):
toy to protect the feeling, not the item. Using it
too fast feels like losing the moment it often comes
from growing up with fewer treats or hearing lots of
things like be careful, be careful. These adults still save candles,
outfits or nice things like they save like they get
something and they're like, oh, I'm want to save this
for the perfect right occasion.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Okay, can I change my answer? Yeah, okay. I save
candles Weirdly this year, I've made it a point like
light the candle because I have candles from last Christmas
that I never use and then they kind of lose
their smell. And I save gift cards, like I have
a gift card, I have two gift cards from Is.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
That because you just forget to use them or you're
like maybe there's one day where I'm not gonna have
money so I'm in a need.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
No, it's not that. It's like I like having it
in my wallet knowing that I get to go use it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
So you're a saver depending on the item. But if
it's like a new okay, so that was the savers
Now for the user jumps in right away because fun
doesn't feel dangerous or scarce, believes more good moments will come.
Often comes from families who treated items as tools, not treasures.
(15:23):
These adults open things immediately and figure it out as
they go. Psychologists say neither as good or bad, just
early messages that we absorbed interesting.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Maybe did I get mixed messages.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Or maybe you did, because it's sort of like I
look at it as like it's not black and white,
or it's not You're not an introvert or extrovert. Some
people are ambi averts, ambiverts, ambiverts, amberverts.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I don't actually know how you say it. I would
have said ambivert, but you said ambia vert tomato tomato.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Well, there probably is a correct way, and you're probably
right because you're the therapist.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I don't think being a therapist makes me good. I
feel like you.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I'm sure you, as in therapy, have used the words introvert,
extrovert and ambrovert, ambiovert or either or more than I have.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You might be onto something, and.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We do have an email that we're going to get into,
and as the therapist, you're supposed to give a disclaimer.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
You didn't give me opportunity to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I know it is my gift to the listeners. Distractor.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I'm pretty sure, pretty sure we gave them that gift.
Last week on our Christmas and we sure did.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But even then I gave the disclaimer and it ended
up being longer, so it wasn't a real gift. This
was our way of like really gifting it to them.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Can I say I should learn how to talk in
the fast voice that the commercials do that when they
give disclaimer.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Like yes, at the end of a car commercial, talk
doun a license?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't. I'm too nervous to do it. So how
about you do it?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
And then Houston you can keep us up.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
You can keep us.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Talking through this right now. You don't have to cut
this out. But like, what if you say it and
then Houston speeds it up? Okay, say it in your
normal voice? Okay, Okay, all right, so do it, and
then I guess what people are gonna hear is a
sped up version.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Okay, how do I want to say it?
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Just how you normally do. I forget to me to
do thet Normally we say like happy Thursday, welcome to
Couch Talks. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
And although we are answering your emails on this episode,
this is just a friendly reminder that this is not
your placement or so do actual Fabyann tell hers, however,
we do hope to help you my money. There you go.
I got more into it as as I went.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Okay, okay, we do have an email from Kelly, and
when she signed her name at the bottom, she put
in parentheses you can use my name, and I was like, brave, brave,
Hi Amy and Kat. I thought I'd email and ask
(17:55):
if you'd be willing to discuss something that I've been
experiencing my life with a friend of mine that I've
known for a long time. I just listened to your
Triangle of Drama episode and it made me think of
her and the disagreements that I found us in over
our friendship. Lately, I've been noticing a lot of victim
from her, but also persecutor. One of the things that
she does to quote prove her point, and it often
(18:17):
feels like it works, is therapy speak discussing setting boundaries,
self care, taking time and space for herself. But ultimately
she does this with almost no communication, and out of
the blue, she'll just completely ghost me for weeks and
I'm left wondering what is wrong, if I've done something
to upset her, etc. Then when she finally comes back
(18:39):
and tells me that she just needed time, and then
if I ask why or what's going on, she gets
defensive and tells me I'm disrupting her boundaries. At what
point does self care or boundaries shift into just shutting
people out and being a bad friend. It is hurtful
to me, and if I try to convey that and
ask for communication and accountability, the defensiveness comes out and
(19:00):
she says she was quote going through something and doesn't
have to answer me. This may be something that could
be a Couch Talks discussion, but I think the whole
weaponizing therapy speak of it all is somewhat popular in
today's world and could be discussed further. Thank you, Kelly.
Would yeah, maybe we could discuss this in a later
episode like weaponizing therapy speak, yeah, or talk about a
(19:21):
little bit now. Yeah, we'll talk. Obviously, we'll answer her
question now, but I was just thinking we could expand
on this later if people wanted us to.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I think it's a good topic, and I hopefully you
didn't hear me do that. But when you said one
of the sentence in there, what was it that she
doesn't have to explain herself or something like that, like,
what did you gasp? I gas? It just felt And
again we're getting the report of this person, so we
don't know verbatim what was said, but I was like, oh,
that feels so dismissive but also aggressive. And the point
(19:54):
of being able to take care of yourself and take
time and space and have boundaries is so you are
not aggressive or passive aggressive to the people. It's supposed
to give you space so you can be more present.
And I do think I'm curious what your thoughts are,
just as a human. But I do think that we've
talked about this before with like the pendulum swinging is
(20:16):
when we learn how to take care of ourselves and
we learn how to think of ourselves along with other people,
we do the all or nothing thing and we're like, okay,
well now we are only ever always thinking of ourselves first,
and if I need to take time, I have to
take time. And that's not necessarily what we are really
asking of people, and we're asking people to consider themselves
(20:39):
along with other people's needs and wants and all that.
It's more so to give you space to actually make
a decision and choose for yourself. Because I think we've
lived in a world where we don't have an option.
We're always going to the thing, We're always showing up
for other people. We're always putting ourselves second, We're always
thinking of the other person. Were always, always, always, And
(21:02):
this is supposed to give setting boundaries and self care
is supposed to give you agency to choose to go,
not that you have to go, but you'll still sometimes
choose to go. Like I'm trying to think of a
good example, but like, let's say it's your birthday and
I'm really tired.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Wait, what about why don't you use me as an
example from your actual birthday?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Okay, yeah, okay, and.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
You tell it from your experience because you were the
friend on the receiving end of what you knew I
had going on.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
So, yeah, you had a lot going on that week,
Like I was out.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Of town, Like I literally had to leave town for something,
for something that is intense.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Yes, And I was having a birthday game night and
my I don't know, I think Patrick had originally I
don't know if he had not texted me. Okay, okay,
so he got a late invite too, but.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Not his fault, like he was sort of just being
blase about it. I mean, is his fault, but he's
being a guy, Like, it's not like he was trying
to exclude me.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
When I asked him if he had asked people like
because he planned it, and I was like, have you
told people about it yet? He's like, no, I'm going to.
I'm like, it's like.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Wednesday people, and the party was on Saturday.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
But that's okay anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
So you were like, I really want to come for
every intention of coming.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yes, I was going to say, like from my perspective,
you were coming. And then Saturday, the day of the thing,
which it wasn't like a it was a small get together,
you texted that you weren't feeling good for multiple reasons,
but you still wanted to come, and so you came
early and then you left early. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
So I just remember texting you and you being like, oh,
if you don't feel like it, like don't come, and
I'm like, no, I want to come because I felt
like I wanted to see you. It had been your birthday.
I did get back close to midnight the night before,
and I started my period on the like when I
was flying home that day, like.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
At the airport, I wasn't going to tell people that
part well whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I mean, I'm just trying to paint a little bit
of picture, like not on was it coming off like
an intense week. But then I started my period. So
then on Saturday, I barely got out of bed and
I was like, oh shoot, and just the thought of
I didn't I was having lots of feelings and processing
and downloading and all this stuff, and I wanted to
(23:19):
see you and that was the priority to me. But
being around other people felt like a being a lot
people that you don't know very well, right, And my
cramps were out of control, like next level. So I
was like, hey, I'm getting up. I have to go
to Walgreens anyway. I had to get tampons, and I
was like, so I just would like to come now,
(23:39):
and you were like, no, you don't, don't worry about it.
And I was like no, no, no, no, I want
to come. And then when I got to your house,
I remember telling you. I was like, it's almost like
this has been medicine for me, like seeing you as medicine.
Because I ended up staying a lot longer than I thought,
So I came before, but then people started arriving and
then I was like well, this is kind of fun.
So we sat around and we talked and I had pizza, yeah,
and I gave your gift and then it's like, okay,
(24:02):
now it's time for me to go get back in bed.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
But you also communicated with me. It's not like you
were like I can't tell you what's going on. I
just can't be there or I need to leave early.
Like you, you were very communicative, communicative with me, so
I really knew what was going on and I could understand.
I think I would have given you the benefit of
the doubt knowing you anyway. But that's where like, you
are taking care of yourself, but you're not forgetting about
(24:26):
all these other things. And I also would have been
fine if you were like I don't have it in me.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I think you would have been too. And I'm not
gonna lie. There might be a time in my life
where I probably have been like, this is what I
need to do for myself and could have stayed in
bed and justified it well.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
And sometimes that's the right Sometimes that is the right answer.
I think what I'm probably not doing a great job
of saying this, but there needs to be a give
and take. I think a lot of times we're using this,
and this is I'm generalizing, so hear this all with
a grain of salt. We use this self care or
setting boundaries as an excuse not to be uncomfortable. We
(25:16):
use this self care or setting boundaries as an excuse
not to be uncomfortable because sometimes we don't want to
go to the party. And I am somebody who I
will stay in my house forever. I love being home.
I love wearing sweatpants every day, like I love doing
puzzles by myself. I could do that, but I can't
neglect relationships because I also want people to be invested
(25:39):
in me. So if I want you to show up
for my stuff, I also have to show up for
your stuff else I can't expect that from other people.
And we need connection, so we need to be there.
So I'm not saying boundaries are bad. And I can't
even speak to this example because maybe that girl has
a reason to be doing this. I don't know. I
(26:00):
really don't know. Maybe she's working through something. Who knows.
But in general, we have to be very careful when
we're implementing new strategies not to take them too far,
and to be honest with ourselves. Is this me just
avoiding being uncomfortable because now I have like an excuse
because let me tell you, there are things like example,
(26:20):
is I work for myself, so I can easily not
go to things or not do things because who's going
to get upset with me? My boss doesn't exist. But
I also have to have boundaries with myself, like good
boundaries of going to events and doing things that I
don't want to do because it's I need to do
that for my business to be successful. Just how that
(26:42):
would translate into relationships? So am I being too general?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Are you picking?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I think you have to be general because everybody's circumstances
are so different. Like again, I think had I not
shown up, you would have understood. But because of how
I'm trying to show up, and it's not a pattern,
it's not a pattern. But I when I said, there
is a time where maybe I would have just use
that as an excuse, valid as it may be, but
(27:13):
I think I would have just felt comfortable with it.
But I want there to be the reciprocity of like
I show up, you show up. But then there are
times where it's a valid excuse, like with the when
you weren't feeling well and we were doing the top
golf thing with our listeners. That was so valid and
(27:33):
like you felt bad and it was just poor timing,
but it was one of those. But also there was communication.
I wasn't just left with like, hey, there's a lot
going on right now, I can't talk about it.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
And there could be times where that is happening. Like
I think our relationship is different because like I feel
like we would tell it, we won't have it.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
If we were texting the other day about our healthy communication.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Because we had an SIP moment.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, yeah, I SIV really helped. So maybe with this
friend you need to have SIB just be like, okay,
s IB with the boundaries.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay. But I think if it wasn't it, it sounds
like it's a pattern. So with our relationship, it would
be an outlier for you to be like I can't
show up, and I'd be like, well, I trust that
because you do show up and I know you and
I know that you care. But if I just stopped
showing up all the time, you'd either be very concerned
for me something must be going on, or you'd be
(28:30):
really confused by my behavior.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Which then I would ask you about it. And if
you were to say, stop interfering in my boundaries, that
would be a weird response. But that's sort of what's
happening here. Yes, anytime she's trying to talk to her
about it, she's getting a defensive Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I don't know if she's asking this, But what she
needs to do is, I mean, there's nothing for you.
You've done what you can. You've asked her what's going on.
You have tried to be understanding. And so if she's
continuing to like kind of give you like this, like
come here, go away, like like, don't ask me, but
I do want to be your friend, this is confusing.
Then you have to also think about how do I
(29:05):
want to interact with this friend, what kind of friendship
I get to make choice in, what kind of friendship
this is? And it's not like a this for that.
But if she's not letting you in and you feel
really boxed out, you're gonna end up pushing her away
if you keep going in asking again and again and again,
and so you kind of just have to accept that
and decide what does this mean for me?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
It makes me think of the quote that you said
a couple of weeks ago, you can't get a loaf
of bread at the hardware store.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah, when you keep going back and expecting her to
be a certain way and she's not gonna give it
to you, then you may need to Like if she
was a friend that met certain needs and you miss that,
then like maybe that needs to come from another person
in your life.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
There's grief in that, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
And it's really hard. There is grief and loss of friendships.
And when a friendship is altered and changed. I think
we've all been through that, Yeah, all, I me and
you have.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I also have to say this. I feel like I
want to give fifteen thousand disclaimers on this because I
never want to send the message that you owe people
explanations all the time and that you can't set boundaries.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
All of this is nuanced, Yes, because I've absolutely set
a boundary without giving any explanation and I felt that
that was the most appropriate thing for me to do
at the time, and I still think so necessary stand
by it.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yes, So this depends on the relationship. If somebody's not
a safe person or you don't feel comfortable sharing certain things,
like you're not forced to do that I just want
us to be aware of when we're making choices to
set boundaries or to self over others, which there we
need to do, that we are doing it in a
(30:48):
mindful way versus just avoiding discomfort. I could to keep
talking about this because I feel like I want to
keep being like and in this scenario.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
And in this scenario, well, something that I've even felt.
It's not exactly related to this, but in choosing yourself,
like staying home for Christmas, feel selfish, like even with
my sister saying, hey, you know it's not too late,
like get a plane ticket, Like I'm like, oh, I
don't want her to think like I don't want to
come see her, but also her feelings around it. I
(31:19):
can't let that bother me because I'm not doing anything wrong.
If I were, we would need to reassess that. But
I'm not, and she's going to be okay. But me
being worried about her feelings as if I can control
them this Christmas, I'm doing what actually is best for me.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
But you've also communicated with her what you're doing, you haven't,
You weren't just like, but.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I still had the thought of, oh, man, yeah, I
feel like you know my sister was my We don't
have our mom and our dad. Which the day that
Kat and I are recording this, it's my mom's birthday.
Shout out happy are repeat Judy, Happy birthday, Judy. We're
recording this on my mom's birthday and it's airing on
(32:00):
Lord's birthday?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Jesus and Judy they're cele of writing. Although December twenty
shifth isn't actually really the.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Day he was more about whatevers, what's the day we
sell it?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
But she was born on December nineteenth. I don't remember
the year.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
My dad's birthday December twentieth.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
They were so close, Ray, So your dad's birthdays tomorrow,
Yes it is. You'd better get in a gift.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
I already did last year. I forgot to text him
on his birthday.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Ouch. I know you won't forget this year. No, I
never will again ever, which becking up. Maybe after we
get on recording, we got to call your dad because
I need to talk to him about something. And yeah,
I just keep getting distracted and then I'm like, oh,
I'll figure it out later, and then it's like, well,
it's a hole in my ceiling and there's.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
A leak, so it'll resolve.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Figured we need to figure it out sooner than later.
We could end on our Christmas gifts to each other
because or I will at least tell people what you
got me, because oh yeah, it's sick. Literally literally literally.
So my friend Mimi has a jewelry company called Mini Lane.
Did you go pick it up from her because she
just had a baby? Or did you buy it somewhere else?
And she ordered order it from her website? I only
(33:09):
know of this place because of you. So she's a
Nashville jewelry designer. I love her vibe. That's why I
was seeing if you want to pick it up from her?
Because she's so cool.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Yeah, she has to be cool because her jewelry is
like cool girl's cool.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah. So kat got me an earring, just one, which
almost makes it even sicker.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
That just says sick, sick.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Because she happens to make one. She has one that
says cool and sick. And then I have these star rings.
That's the first jewelry that I ever bought from her,
and I wear those a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Don't you have a dome one? I do? I want
all of those things now I want.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
All of her jewelry. Yeah, it's very awesome. But Kat
got me the sick one, and it's sick. I can't
wait to wear it.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And I got one for myself, but I haven't been
able to wear it because I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Figure out you put it in one of your extra holes.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I know, but my thing is in my putting it
on backwards, because when you put it on in a mirror,
it reads backwards.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
But then if I'm looking at you like I'm going
to see sick.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Right, But I couldn't figure out what are people.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
It doesn't matter which hole you get it in.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Thank you anyway, So I haven't been able to wear
mine until I gave amy Hurst.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And now we have matching. So thank you for my gift.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
You're welcome and you're wearing. I get that you bought
one for myself. I didn't even put that together.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
I hadn't thought of that either, But that's funny that
you bought me a sick earring and you bought yourself
a sick earring. And then I bought you a like
Barefoot Dreams sweater wrap. I don't know what it's called.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It's like a bleak like there's armhole card again. Yeah,
it's sick, it's sick. And then you bought yourself one.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Uh huh, and so now we're matching with that. It's
just so cozy.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
So yeah, shoot, I didn't wear the sweatshirt today. We
could have been both wearing that and are sick.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Because you can't. We both have on our feeling things sweatpants. Yeah, yeah,
so feel it in me. We still have some of
these left. If people want any last minute cozy.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
If you forgot to buy somebody at Christmas present or yourself. Yeah,
and you're listening and you're like, oh gosh, hurry, run
to the computer, order some of these six sweatpants, print
out a picture of them and wrap that and give
it to somebody.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
They don't say sick, they say feeling things.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Wait, wait a second, two thoughts, actually two thoughts, and
then we can be done. But I have to say
these now. Why did we not make merch that says sick?
Why did we not do that? I don't know, A hat,
a sweatshirt, a T shirt. Okay, well we'll have to
do it.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
We did have the day you need to have and
I love that on the sweatshirt, and most people loved
it on the shirt and then so much so we
made it on the crew net.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
But we never even thought of it.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I never thought of it, so we'll have to instead.
We went with it depends. But I do love it
depends because in life it depends. Even with this emailer,
there's so much that like, it depends. And what I
hope for your friend is that maybe the pendulum it
has just swung and it will level out, like maybe
the pendulum swung too far and she's like trying to
(36:07):
find her groove with like her boundaries.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
I've been saying pendulum.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Is it pendulum or pendulum?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Now that I heard you say, I think that I've
been saying it wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Is it ambivert or ambiavert? We don't know. Cat's researching.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I can hear you typing. Uh, it's definitely pendulum pendulum.
Oh my gosh, that's so embarrassing. My whole life, I've
been saying pendulum.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Like pinge with a G P E and G or
J full G full G pendulum. Look up while we're
at it, just look up ambiavert?
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Well, how to say it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Introverts just extrovert.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
And it's just ambivert there's no I. There isn't it.
It's am bi vert am by vert ambervert. What is
the I after the am bye vert oh by ambivert ambervert.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
So there's no A.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
That's what I was at.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Amb avert introvert extrovert am the evert.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
You just added. I don't think that's tracking.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Okay, Well, we hope whatever y'all are doing wherever you are,
you're having an amazing Christmas.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You're having a sick Christmas. That's the Christmas you need.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
You're having the Christmas you need to have, right amen? Amen?
And I guess we'll close with that. But let's do
it the way we do it.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Okay, but change it to Christmas go first.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Okay, dang, we should have made a holiday merch that says,
have the Christmas you need to have.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Looking where to have aggressively to your in laws house.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
All right, thank you for listening this year. I guess
we'll be back with the Feeling Things episode before the
year ends. But it has been a joy, our first.
This is our first like holiday season as feeling things.
Oh sweet sweet, all right, have the Christmas you need
to have?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Bye bye ooh
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you just falls home, Mayy and Cat gotcha Covin
like a a brother. Ladies and folks, do you just
follow Anna spirit where it's all the front over real
stuff to the chill stuff and them.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Just stop you feel things.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
This is Feeling Things with.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Amy and Kat. Happy Thursday and Marry Christmas for real,
Merry Christmas for real this time. Because if you're an
avid listener of Couch Talks, our Q and a episode
over Feeling Things podcast, you know that last Thursday we
thought it was Christmas. Got a good while, we thought
it was our Christmas episode, but it was not. Uh,
(00:50):
this one is. And Kat and I are were done
done with work work like done? Well, you said you
have one client next week. I have to now Oh
now I get a baller, so Kat has too. I've
got a little bit of work maybe like a tiny
bit left, and then we're pretty much done done. But
(01:10):
it is Christmas. And if you're listening to us on
Christmas morning, maybe you're getting ready, maybe you're on a walk,
maybe you're driving to a family member's house. Four hours
away and you were binging feeling things on preaky. Thank
you for our drive. Yeah, you never have, like you know,
done Christmas with the kids early in the morning and
(01:31):
then everybody loads up in the car and drives.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I don't have any kids.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
No, like as a kid when you were.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
During Christmas and my kids in the morning. We didn't
ever travel on Christmas or at Christmas time. But now
that you're saying that, I'm pretty sure Patrick would get
up Christmas Day morning and drive to West Virginia to
see his family.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
See. I think it's a common thing.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Which is also like, but I don't want to be
traveling on christs.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, well, sometimes you got to do which you gotta do.
When you got grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins
and different events, you're trying to be here, nor there
and everywhere, which is why this Christmas I am staying put.
I'm not going anywhere, which feels weird. I normally do
go to Colorado for Christmas, which my sister did text
me like, hey, never too late to book a flight
and come, So who knows, maybe by the time this
(02:22):
airs on Christmas, maybe I decided to do that, But
that is not that far away, and I'm probably not
going to do it because I think I need to
stay put. Sort of like a gift to myself. Yeah,
stay put. That was a gift to myself. And my
lion door knocker. That was my other gift to myself.
(02:43):
That was my Christmas present to myself.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Your Christmas gift to yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
A doorknocker that looks like a lion.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Well, I think I put that together.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Well, I didn't know if people were like, wait, a
lion door knocker brand because you saw it. If people
are just listening, they might be like, wait, what because
I've never had a door knocker ever. Have you had
had a door knocker like at your front door where
people come and they visit you and they're like, dunk, dunk.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I don't think so. But also I don't know. I
could have had one when I was like four years old,
but I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Door knocker.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah. You know how we use the word sick.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
It's sick.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It's sick.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
We can only see the back of it right now.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
No, No, I know what it's going to look like
when we open the door. So as a cat and
I have been sitting here waiting to record. My doorknocker
is getting installed, and there's been some drilling, there's.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Been some curiosity on our part.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It looks like we're hoping that it's going to turn
out right because where we record in my house, there's
these French doors that look right out into where my
front door is, and normally we have to even put
a note on the front door that says recording in progress.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Which like that sounds like such a legit note, but
it's like on a piece of like it's like a
legal pad, yellow piece of paper scribbled on.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
With painters take on the on the door.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Which reminds me. I used to do that when I
was a kid. I would put a colored a red
dot on a piece of paper and taped it on
my bedroom door. Instead of I was recording and I
would like be singing.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
In my room like it was like my work shadowing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
It was like my recording studio. So like now I
moved from that paper note to this paper note.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It's very official, but now we need to change the
wording because it says like recording in progress. Like does
it say please knocker, like don't ring the doorbells? Obviously right,
and now it seems don't use the knocker, feel like
the knocker is gonna be like my pa because this
is a big lion and it's unlaquered brass. It's beautiful,
(04:40):
like my front door just got a glow up. A
lackered brass, unlackered.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Unlackered, unlackered. So what's lacquered?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I just we want it to be unlackered.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Well, unlackered is like the really shiny beautiful brass that
can patina overtime, you know, like my sink. Patina. I
just know the words.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Use that word like it was a normal word.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It is it.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You're like a patina overtime and just kept going. You
knew I wasn't gonna know what that meant.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, that's why I said, don't ask you to define that,
because how I will say it in layman stern. Okay,
you look it up and then I'll describe it to you.
So it ages over time. My sink, for example, the
faucet in my kitchen is unlacquered brass, and it was
really really shiny when I first got it, but it
is patinaed over time, and you'll notice it's a little
(05:34):
more weathered and worn looking, like the color changes. What
is that onwear my faucet in my kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
It's patina.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
It is starting to patina. Patina's over time. The patina
is a progress. I can like it happens so like,
look at my front door right now. See how shiny
that handle is. It's so shiny. My sink used to
be that shiny. It was not anymore because it's patina.
Is your doorkno gonna pat Yeah, it's gonna patina. And
you want that, You want the patina, Okay. And the
(06:05):
more people that touch my knocker.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
No, it's not gonna patina. Your knocker's not gonna be patina.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
My knocker wool patina. It's unlaquer brass.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Oh and if it was lacquered, then it would a patina.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I guess, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Let me just reach a little bit. In the context
of brass, patina refers to the natural thin layer that
forms on the metal surface as a result of chemical
reactions with the surrounding like my hands, like our skin,
old environment. Yes, uh, it's known as patination.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Or relieving that drilled sound in so people get the
real effect of what we've been dealing with because Cat
and I've been trying to record for like I don't know,
like thirty while Wait.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
It says it's caused by oxidation and the interaction with moisture,
carbon dioxide, sulfur, blah blah blah, oh, oxidation and human hands. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
See, the more you touch the faucet, the more patinas.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Is it gonna turn green?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
It can, but to me that's a little it's like
a green blue that is a little bit of character.
But then you can also get polished and you can
clean it. Okay, I'm you can line it back up.
It's beautiful, but okay, you can.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
You can make it different colors, because this is like
saying that it could be turquoise.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, that's not what you don't want to no, no, no, no, no,
no no no, Mine's just gonna be I'm gonna call it.
I'm making this up. But mine is a loved on brass.
It's aged appropriately like like a fine wine.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, like something you would see in the museum.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah yeah, or like I guess I'm thinking of, or
like an antique.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, that's like something that you would say at.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Gas lamp if you ever shopped at gas Lamp in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I've never been there.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
There's also gas Lamp too. If you'll ever come to Nashville,
check out gas Lamp and gas Lamp too, next to
the home depot on Thompson Lane.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Where's that sounded like a legit ad No it's not.
Where's the second?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I wish it's right behind it? Got the different just
more boots, Like people have their individual boots.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And they can boots. No bos.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
They may have boots, but it's booths booths. So my
Christmas gift to myself was my lion and also staying put.
No travel. What's your gift to yourself?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
A trip to New York City.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I'm so excited for you. You know, we thought about
joining y'all, we're not.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I haven't ideated you you were gonna go.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I know we thought about it, and then that wouldn't
be the gift. The gift to myself is to stay
I need to stay put.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I also gave myself the gift of wallpaper in my
dining room, which happened a couple weeks ago, or like
a week ago, But that was a huge, huge accomplishment.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
For me, and that was so good. And I know
you were very stressed about picking the right wallpaper, because
that is a stressful process.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It's non patinaed wallpaper.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, I have I have regrets about my dining room wallpaper.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
But you were trying to pump yourself when.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I sent you in a video. It was totally pumped.
I was like, look, there's dogs and deer and and
a herder, a sheep, herder and sheep.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
What don't you like about it?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
It's just sort of once you put up your wallpaper,
your wallpaper is a little more has a little more
pizazz to it, even though it's not. It's just busier
and like more colors, and it's prettier. Mine is very plain.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Well, do you remember the wallpaper you're trying to get
me to put in my dining room? No, what was it? Was?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
It plained? No, it was your.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Bathroom wallpaper, which is great for a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Oh that is. It is great for a dining room.
It's great for a dining room.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
It's beautiful. But there's one reason I would never put
that in my dining room.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
The naked women.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
There's naked women.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
All in it, not all. They're scattered about and you
barely see them.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
People would find them, and I feel like my name
would be like, hey cat, why is this naked girl
in the bush in your dining room?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Technically she's leaning against a tree. Okay, I if I
could redo it, because nobody sees my bathroom, I would
have flipped it. I would have put my bathroom wallpaper
in my dining room.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Really, well, you have a you're an adult, I'm an adult.
You have an adult adult children, you have teenagers.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Okay, this is not saying they're not my kids. Also,
are not paying them much attention to wallpaper. They would
never even notice the naked women I did, and if
and if they did, I'd be like, respect the woman.
She's not like. It's not sexual graphic or anything. It's
more of like a silhouette leaning into a tree.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, it is beautiful. I also for anybody who is
looking for wallpaper, I'm just gonna shout this out. The
lady that did my wallpaper showed me this, and I
want to put it in my bathroom now. But you
know it's expensive. It's if you just google drunk monkey wallpaper,
it's a bunch of monkeys hanging in trees, smoking cigars,
(10:58):
drinking out of liquor bottles and like bros hanging on trees.
It's like really cute, but like, you couldn't put that
in a common It would be really cute in like
a restaurant bathroom or in like an adult's bathroom, but
I can't really have that downstairs with small children around.
I feel like it's inappropriate.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, drunk monkey wallpaper?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Did you find it?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Just slicked it up? Yeah, it's cute, so cute, that's right.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
So anybody's looking for something fun and different, shout out.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You know. One time when I almost put in my
half bath at my last house was this Golden Girl's wallpaper.
It had all four of the Golden Girls in their
heads and they were just floating everywhere on the wall.
And for a half bath. I thought it was going
to look so cute. And I ordered a sample, which
is what you should do always always.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I didn't order a sample of mine that I bought.
They didn't sell samples. Well how did you pick it?
I just was like I had to pull the trigger.
I'd ordered like fifteen samples of others.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So it wasn't even one of the samples.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
You have, no wow, But I think I could have
returned it like if.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes, if you got in the roles, you could return it.
Well that's what I had to do with. Well, actually
I didn't even order the Golden Girls one. I ordered
the sample and they sent me a pretty large one,
bigger than you normally get. But now I know why
they had to send it so big, because the heads
were huge. But on the computer they looked little and like,
I don't know, it looked cute, and then when I
(12:16):
got it in they were like life sized heads and
I was like, no, this is freaking me out.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It was no longer cute.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
It was scary. So the dreams of my Golden Girls
bathroom went down.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm sure you could find that maybe makes up.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I don't know. I gave up on it. I just
didn't do it. Now, you know, Kat and I have
our little Christmas gifts to ourself. Yours is New York
and wallpaper, and mine was a lion knocker and staying.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Put a lime knocker.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
When it comes to gifts and stuff? Do you consider
yourself a saverer you when it comes to gifts, like
when you got Christmas gifts as a kid, or maybe
if you get them now as an adult, do you
use them right away or do you save them?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Oh, I'm a user. I can't wait to put on
that new sweater or play that new game or whatever
it is. I'm immediate, immediate.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, I would say I'm pretty immediate too, So we're users,
but our personalities are similar.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
But savor, I can see if you're a I don't
know where you're going with this, but in my head,
I'm like parents who get tons of gifts from like
grandparents and aunts and this and that, and santap I
can see them giving their kids a couple of gifts
at a time versus all. Is that what you mean
by savor? And then like over time you bring out
a new toy.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
No, it's like for how you are as the receiver
of the gifts, not the giver, like not parents saving
to give Like it's like when you open a gift,
do you use it or save it? This I am
going somewhere with it. I saw a child psychologist post
about why kids do one or the other, and it's
tied into how you grew up. The saver saves the
(14:10):
toy to protect the feeling, not the item. Using it
too fast feels like losing the moment it often comes
from growing up with fewer treats or hearing lots of
things like be careful, be careful. These adults still save candles,
outfits or nice things like they save like they get
something and they're like, oh, I'm want to save this
for the perfect right occasion.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Okay, can I change my answer? Yeah, okay. I save
candles Weirdly this year, I've made it a point like
light the candle because I have candles from last Christmas
that I never use and then they kind of lose
their smell. And I save gift cards, like I have
a gift card, I have two gift cards from Is.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
That because you just forget to use them or you're
like maybe there's one day where I'm not gonna have
money so I'm in a need.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
No, it's not that. It's like I like having it
in my wallet knowing that I get to go use it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
So you're a saver depending on the item. But if
it's like a new okay, so that was the savers
Now for the user jumps in right away because fun
doesn't feel dangerous or scarce, believes more good moments will come.
Often comes from families who treated items as tools, not treasures.
(15:23):
These adults open things immediately and figure it out as
they go. Psychologists say neither as good or bad, just
early messages that we absorbed interesting.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Maybe did I get mixed messages.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Or maybe you did, because it's sort of like I
look at it as like it's not black and white,
or it's not You're not an introvert or extrovert. Some
people are ambi averts, ambiverts, ambiverts, amberverts.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I don't actually know how you say it. I would
have said ambivert, but you said ambia vert tomato tomato.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Well, there probably is a correct way, and you're probably
right because you're the therapist.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I don't think being a therapist makes me good. I
feel like you.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I'm sure you, as in therapy, have used the words introvert,
extrovert and ambrovert, ambiovert or either or more than I have.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You might be onto something, and.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We do have an email that we're going to get into,
and as the therapist, you're supposed to give a disclaimer.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
You didn't give me opportunity to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I know it is my gift to the listeners. Distractor.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I'm pretty sure, pretty sure we gave them that gift.
Last week on our Christmas and we sure did.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But even then I gave the disclaimer and it ended
up being longer, so it wasn't a real gift. This
was our way of like really gifting it to them.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Can I say I should learn how to talk in
the fast voice that the commercials do that when they
give disclaimer.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Like yes, at the end of a car commercial, talk
doun a license?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't. I'm too nervous to do it. So how
about you do it?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
And then Houston you can keep us up.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
You can keep us.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Talking through this right now. You don't have to cut
this out. But like, what if you say it and
then Houston speeds it up? Okay, say it in your
normal voice? Okay, Okay, all right, so do it, and
then I guess what people are gonna hear is a
sped up version.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Okay, how do I want to say it?
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Just how you normally do. I forget to me to
do thet Normally we say like happy Thursday, welcome to
Couch Talks. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
And although we are answering your emails on this episode,
this is just a friendly reminder that this is not
your placement or so do actual Fabyann tell hers, however,
we do hope to help you my money. There you go.
I got more into it as as I went.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Okay, okay, we do have an email from Kelly, and
when she signed her name at the bottom, she put
in parentheses you can use my name, and I was like, brave, brave,
Hi Amy and Kat. I thought I'd email and ask
(17:55):
if you'd be willing to discuss something that I've been
experiencing my life with a friend of mine that I've
known for a long time. I just listened to your
Triangle of Drama episode and it made me think of
her and the disagreements that I found us in over
our friendship. Lately, I've been noticing a lot of victim
from her, but also persecutor. One of the things that
she does to quote prove her point, and it often
(18:17):
feels like it works, is therapy speak discussing setting boundaries,
self care, taking time and space for herself. But ultimately
she does this with almost no communication, and out of
the blue, she'll just completely ghost me for weeks and
I'm left wondering what is wrong, if I've done something
to upset her, etc. Then when she finally comes back
(18:39):
and tells me that she just needed time, and then
if I ask why or what's going on, she gets
defensive and tells me I'm disrupting her boundaries. At what
point does self care or boundaries shift into just shutting
people out and being a bad friend. It is hurtful
to me, and if I try to convey that and
ask for communication and accountability, the defensiveness comes out and
(19:00):
she says she was quote going through something and doesn't
have to answer me. This may be something that could
be a Couch Talks discussion, but I think the whole
weaponizing therapy speak of it all is somewhat popular in
today's world and could be discussed further. Thank you, Kelly.
Would yeah, maybe we could discuss this in a later
episode like weaponizing therapy speak, yeah, or talk about a
(19:21):
little bit now. Yeah, we'll talk. Obviously, we'll answer her
question now, but I was just thinking we could expand
on this later if people wanted us to.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I think it's a good topic, and I hopefully you
didn't hear me do that. But when you said one
of the sentence in there, what was it that she
doesn't have to explain herself or something like that, like,
what did you gasp? I gas? It just felt And
again we're getting the report of this person, so we
don't know verbatim what was said, but I was like, oh,
that feels so dismissive but also aggressive. And the point
(19:54):
of being able to take care of yourself and take
time and space and have boundaries is so you are
not aggressive or passive aggressive to the people. It's supposed
to give you space so you can be more present.
And I do think I'm curious what your thoughts are,
just as a human. But I do think that we've
talked about this before with like the pendulum swinging is
(20:16):
when we learn how to take care of ourselves and
we learn how to think of ourselves along with other people,
we do the all or nothing thing and we're like, okay,
well now we are only ever always thinking of ourselves first,
and if I need to take time, I have to
take time. And that's not necessarily what we are really
asking of people, and we're asking people to consider themselves
(20:39):
along with other people's needs and wants and all that.
It's more so to give you space to actually make
a decision and choose for yourself. Because I think we've
lived in a world where we don't have an option.
We're always going to the thing, We're always showing up
for other people. We're always putting ourselves second, We're always
thinking of the other person. Were always, always, always, And
(21:02):
this is supposed to give setting boundaries and self care
is supposed to give you agency to choose to go,
not that you have to go, but you'll still sometimes
choose to go. Like I'm trying to think of a
good example, but like, let's say it's your birthday and
I'm really tired.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Wait, what about why don't you use me as an
example from your actual birthday?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Okay, yeah, okay, and.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
You tell it from your experience because you were the
friend on the receiving end of what you knew I
had going on.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
So, yeah, you had a lot going on that week,
Like I was out.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Of town, Like I literally had to leave town for something,
for something that is intense.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Yes, And I was having a birthday game night and
my I don't know, I think Patrick had originally I
don't know if he had not texted me. Okay, okay,
so he got a late invite too, but.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Not his fault, like he was sort of just being
blase about it. I mean, is his fault, but he's
being a guy, Like, it's not like he was trying
to exclude me.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
When I asked him if he had asked people like
because he planned it, and I was like, have you
told people about it yet? He's like, no, I'm going to.
I'm like, it's like.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Wednesday people, and the party was on Saturday.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
But that's okay anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
So you were like, I really want to come for
every intention of coming.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yes, I was going to say, like from my perspective,
you were coming. And then Saturday, the day of the thing,
which it wasn't like a it was a small get together,
you texted that you weren't feeling good for multiple reasons,
but you still wanted to come, and so you came
early and then you left early. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
So I just remember texting you and you being like, oh,
if you don't feel like it, like don't come, and
I'm like, no, I want to come because I felt
like I wanted to see you. It had been your birthday.
I did get back close to midnight the night before,
and I started my period on the like when I
was flying home that day, like.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
At the airport, I wasn't going to tell people that
part well whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I mean, I'm just trying to paint a little bit
of picture, like not on was it coming off like
an intense week. But then I started my period. So
then on Saturday, I barely got out of bed and
I was like, oh shoot, and just the thought of
I didn't I was having lots of feelings and processing
and downloading and all this stuff, and I wanted to
(23:19):
see you and that was the priority to me. But
being around other people felt like a being a lot
people that you don't know very well, right, And my
cramps were out of control, like next level. So I
was like, hey, I'm getting up. I have to go
to Walgreens anyway. I had to get tampons, and I
was like, so I just would like to come now,
(23:39):
and you were like, no, you don't, don't worry about it.
And I was like no, no, no, no, I want
to come. And then when I got to your house,
I remember telling you. I was like, it's almost like
this has been medicine for me, like seeing you as medicine.
Because I ended up staying a lot longer than I thought,
So I came before, but then people started arriving and
then I was like well, this is kind of fun.
So we sat around and we talked and I had pizza, yeah,
and I gave your gift and then it's like, okay,
(24:02):
now it's time for me to go get back in bed.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
But you also communicated with me. It's not like you
were like I can't tell you what's going on. I
just can't be there or I need to leave early.
Like you, you were very communicative, communicative with me, so
I really knew what was going on and I could understand.
I think I would have given you the benefit of
the doubt knowing you anyway. But that's where like, you
are taking care of yourself, but you're not forgetting about
(24:26):
all these other things. And I also would have been
fine if you were like I don't have it in me.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I think you would have been too. And I'm not
gonna lie. There might be a time in my life
where I probably have been like, this is what I
need to do for myself and could have stayed in
bed and justified it well.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
And sometimes that's the right Sometimes that is the right answer.
I think what I'm probably not doing a great job
of saying this, but there needs to be a give
and take. I think a lot of times we're using this,
and this is I'm generalizing, so hear this all with
a grain of salt. We use this self care or
setting boundaries as an excuse not to be uncomfortable. We
(25:16):
use this self care or setting boundaries as an excuse
not to be uncomfortable because sometimes we don't want to
go to the party. And I am somebody who I
will stay in my house forever. I love being home.
I love wearing sweatpants every day, like I love doing
puzzles by myself. I could do that, but I can't
neglect relationships because I also want people to be invested
(25:39):
in me. So if I want you to show up
for my stuff, I also have to show up for
your stuff else I can't expect that from other people.
And we need connection, so we need to be there.
So I'm not saying boundaries are bad. And I can't
even speak to this example because maybe that girl has
a reason to be doing this. I don't know. I
(26:00):
really don't know. Maybe she's working through something. Who knows.
But in general, we have to be very careful when
we're implementing new strategies not to take them too far,
and to be honest with ourselves. Is this me just
avoiding being uncomfortable because now I have like an excuse
because let me tell you, there are things like example,
(26:20):
is I work for myself, so I can easily not
go to things or not do things because who's going
to get upset with me? My boss doesn't exist. But
I also have to have boundaries with myself, like good
boundaries of going to events and doing things that I
don't want to do because it's I need to do
that for my business to be successful. Just how that
(26:42):
would translate into relationships? So am I being too general?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Are you picking?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I think you have to be general because everybody's circumstances
are so different. Like again, I think had I not
shown up, you would have understood. But because of how
I'm trying to show up, and it's not a pattern,
it's not a pattern. But I when I said, there
is a time where maybe I would have just use
that as an excuse, valid as it may be, but
(27:13):
I think I would have just felt comfortable with it.
But I want there to be the reciprocity of like
I show up, you show up. But then there are
times where it's a valid excuse, like with the when
you weren't feeling well and we were doing the top
golf thing with our listeners. That was so valid and
(27:33):
like you felt bad and it was just poor timing,
but it was one of those. But also there was communication.
I wasn't just left with like, hey, there's a lot
going on right now, I can't talk about it.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
And there could be times where that is happening. Like
I think our relationship is different because like I feel
like we would tell it, we won't have it.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
If we were texting the other day about our healthy communication.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Because we had an SIP moment.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, yeah, I SIV really helped. So maybe with this
friend you need to have SIB just be like, okay,
s IB with the boundaries.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay. But I think if it wasn't it, it sounds
like it's a pattern. So with our relationship, it would
be an outlier for you to be like I can't
show up, and I'd be like, well, I trust that
because you do show up and I know you and
I know that you care. But if I just stopped
showing up all the time, you'd either be very concerned
for me something must be going on, or you'd be
(28:30):
really confused by my behavior.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Which then I would ask you about it. And if
you were to say, stop interfering in my boundaries, that
would be a weird response. But that's sort of what's
happening here. Yes, anytime she's trying to talk to her
about it, she's getting a defensive Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I don't know if she's asking this, But what she
needs to do is, I mean, there's nothing for you.
You've done what you can. You've asked her what's going on.
You have tried to be understanding. And so if she's
continuing to like kind of give you like this, like
come here, go away, like like, don't ask me, but
I do want to be your friend, this is confusing.
Then you have to also think about how do I
(29:05):
want to interact with this friend, what kind of friendship
I get to make choice in, what kind of friendship
this is? And it's not like a this for that.
But if she's not letting you in and you feel
really boxed out, you're gonna end up pushing her away
if you keep going in asking again and again and again,
and so you kind of just have to accept that
and decide what does this mean for me?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
It makes me think of the quote that you said
a couple of weeks ago, you can't get a loaf
of bread at the hardware store.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah, when you keep going back and expecting her to
be a certain way and she's not gonna give it
to you, then you may need to Like if she
was a friend that met certain needs and you miss that,
then like maybe that needs to come from another person
in your life.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
There's grief in that, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
And it's really hard. There is grief and loss of friendships.
And when a friendship is altered and changed. I think
we've all been through that, Yeah, all, I me and
you have.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I also have to say this. I feel like I
want to give fifteen thousand disclaimers on this because I
never want to send the message that you owe people
explanations all the time and that you can't set boundaries.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
All of this is nuanced, Yes, because I've absolutely set
a boundary without giving any explanation and I felt that
that was the most appropriate thing for me to do
at the time, and I still think so necessary stand
by it.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yes, So this depends on the relationship. If somebody's not
a safe person or you don't feel comfortable sharing certain things,
like you're not forced to do that I just want
us to be aware of when we're making choices to
set boundaries or to self over others, which there we
need to do, that we are doing it in a
(30:48):
mindful way versus just avoiding discomfort. I could to keep
talking about this because I feel like I want to
keep being like and in this scenario.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
And in this scenario, well, something that I've even felt.
It's not exactly related to this, but in choosing yourself,
like staying home for Christmas, feel selfish, like even with
my sister saying, hey, you know it's not too late,
like get a plane ticket, Like I'm like, oh, I
don't want her to think like I don't want to
come see her, but also her feelings around it. I
(31:19):
can't let that bother me because I'm not doing anything wrong.
If I were, we would need to reassess that. But
I'm not, and she's going to be okay. But me
being worried about her feelings as if I can control
them this Christmas, I'm doing what actually is best for me.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
But you've also communicated with her what you're doing, you haven't,
You weren't just like, but.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I still had the thought of, oh, man, yeah, I
feel like you know my sister was my We don't
have our mom and our dad. Which the day that
Kat and I are recording this, it's my mom's birthday.
Shout out happy are repeat Judy, Happy birthday, Judy. We're
recording this on my mom's birthday and it's airing on
(32:00):
Lord's birthday?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Jesus and Judy they're cele of writing. Although December twenty
shifth isn't actually really the.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Day he was more about whatevers, what's the day we
sell it?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
But she was born on December nineteenth. I don't remember
the year.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
My dad's birthday December twentieth.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
They were so close, Ray, So your dad's birthdays tomorrow,
Yes it is. You'd better get in a gift.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
I already did last year. I forgot to text him
on his birthday.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Ouch. I know you won't forget this year. No, I
never will again ever, which becking up. Maybe after we
get on recording, we got to call your dad because
I need to talk to him about something. And yeah,
I just keep getting distracted and then I'm like, oh,
I'll figure it out later, and then it's like, well,
it's a hole in my ceiling and there's.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
A leak, so it'll resolve.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Figured we need to figure it out sooner than later.
We could end on our Christmas gifts to each other
because or I will at least tell people what you
got me, because oh yeah, it's sick. Literally literally literally.
So my friend Mimi has a jewelry company called Mini Lane.
Did you go pick it up from her because she
just had a baby? Or did you buy it somewhere else?
And she ordered order it from her website? I only
(33:09):
know of this place because of you. So she's a
Nashville jewelry designer. I love her vibe. That's why I
was seeing if you want to pick it up from her?
Because she's so cool.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Yeah, she has to be cool because her jewelry is
like cool girl's cool.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah. So kat got me an earring, just one, which
almost makes it even sicker.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
That just says sick, sick.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Because she happens to make one. She has one that
says cool and sick. And then I have these star rings.
That's the first jewelry that I ever bought from her,
and I wear those a lot.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Don't you have a dome one? I do? I want
all of those things now I want.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
All of her jewelry. Yeah, it's very awesome. But Kat
got me the sick one, and it's sick. I can't
wait to wear it.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And I got one for myself, but I haven't been
able to wear it because I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Figure out you put it in one of your extra holes.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I know, but my thing is in my putting it
on backwards, because when you put it on in a mirror,
it reads backwards.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
But then if I'm looking at you like I'm going
to see sick.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Right, But I couldn't figure out what are people.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
It doesn't matter which hole you get it in.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Thank you anyway, So I haven't been able to wear
mine until I gave amy Hurst.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And now we have matching. So thank you for my gift.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
You're welcome and you're wearing. I get that you bought
one for myself. I didn't even put that together.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
I hadn't thought of that either, But that's funny that
you bought me a sick earring and you bought yourself
a sick earring. And then I bought you a like
Barefoot Dreams sweater wrap. I don't know what it's called.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It's like a bleak like there's armhole card again. Yeah,
it's sick, it's sick. And then you bought yourself one.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Uh huh, and so now we're matching with that. It's
just so cozy.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
So yeah, shoot, I didn't wear the sweatshirt today. We
could have been both wearing that and are sick.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Because you can't. We both have on our feeling things sweatpants. Yeah, yeah,
so feel it in me. We still have some of
these left. If people want any last minute cozy.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
If you forgot to buy somebody at Christmas present or yourself. Yeah,
and you're listening and you're like, oh gosh, hurry, run
to the computer, order some of these six sweatpants, print
out a picture of them and wrap that and give
it to somebody.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
They don't say sick, they say feeling things.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Wait, wait a second, two thoughts, actually two thoughts, and
then we can be done. But I have to say
these now. Why did we not make merch that says sick?
Why did we not do that? I don't know, A hat,
a sweatshirt, a T shirt. Okay, well we'll have to
do it.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
We did have the day you need to have and
I love that on the sweatshirt, and most people loved
it on the shirt and then so much so we
made it on the crew net.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
But we never even thought of it.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I never thought of it, so we'll have to instead.
We went with it depends. But I do love it
depends because in life it depends. Even with this emailer,
there's so much that like, it depends. And what I
hope for your friend is that maybe the pendulum it
has just swung and it will level out, like maybe
the pendulum swung too far and she's like trying to
(36:07):
find her groove with like her boundaries.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
I've been saying pendulum.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Is it pendulum or pendulum?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Now that I heard you say, I think that I've
been saying it wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Is it ambivert or ambiavert? We don't know. Cat's researching.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I can hear you typing. Uh, it's definitely pendulum pendulum.
Oh my gosh, that's so embarrassing. My whole life, I've
been saying pendulum.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Like pinge with a G P E and G or
J full G full G pendulum. Look up while we're
at it, just look up ambiavert?
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Well, how to say it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Introverts just extrovert.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
And it's just ambivert there's no I. There isn't it.
It's am bi vert am by vert ambervert. What is
the I after the am bye vert oh by ambivert ambervert.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
So there's no A.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
That's what I was at.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Amb avert introvert extrovert am the evert.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
You just added. I don't think that's tracking.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Okay, Well, we hope whatever y'all are doing wherever you are,
you're having an amazing Christmas.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You're having a sick Christmas. That's the Christmas you need.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
You're having the Christmas you need to have, right amen? Amen?
And I guess we'll close with that. But let's do
it the way we do it.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Okay, but change it to Christmas go first.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Okay, dang, we should have made a holiday merch that says,
have the Christmas you need to have.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Looking where to have aggressively to your in laws house.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
All right, thank you for listening this year. I guess
we'll be back with the Feeling Things episode before the
year ends. But it has been a joy, our first.
This is our first like holiday season as feeling things.
Oh sweet sweet, all right, have the Christmas you need
to have?
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Bye bye ooh
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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