December 26, 2025 • 37 mins
If you’re a high-achiever who has built your life on hard work, dedication and getting difficult tasks done, you probably can’t imagine what it would be like to allow your life to happen in a way that is organic and easy.
Just let things happen however they happen???
It might even sound kind of “wrong”.
You might think to yourself that everything good in your life has been built by the achiever in you who knows how to get great things accomplished.
But what if all of that power and passion you bring to your work and your life could be directed toward a life of ease?
What if “easy” doesn’t mean what you think it does?
This is a tiny little nuance that will not only change the way you think about the word “easy” but will (hopefully) revolutionize the way you experience your life.
If you’re ready to begin writing your story, please take advantage of my BIG December gift to writers: more than 75% off my signature course A Book in Six Months. Use code GRATITUDE at checkout to get this $999 product for only $222.
Host: Ally Fallon // @allyfallon // allisonfallon.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write. All the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when
you write your story.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You got the.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Words and said, don't you think it's down to let
them out and write them down and covered it's all
about and write write your story. Write you write your story.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hi, friend, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast.
I'm Ali Fallon, I'm your host, and before we get
into the content of today's episode, I just want to
make sure that you know that my signature course, A
Book in six Months is back as a self guided course,
and it is available until the end of this month,
until the end of December twenty twenty five for an
(00:50):
absolutely unprecedented price. I have no plans to take it
back to this price anytime in the near future. It
is normally priced at nine hundred and ninety nine dollars,
and I'm offering a very steep discount right now for
two hundred and twenty two dollars. You can go back
to last week's episode if you want to listen to
the reasoning behind this. But it's a special number for
me that has to do with my dad, who I
(01:10):
lost last year. His birthday was February twenty second, and
then number two two too, just keeps popping up for
me absolutely everywhere. And I woke up in the middle
of the night a couple of weeks ago and just
felt like, I'm supposed to give this course away. Basically,
it's not giving it away because you're still paying for it,
but I'm supposed to give it away at this unprecedented rate.
And so I just wanted you to know, if you
haven't already, if you have a book idea and you
(01:32):
want to get started writing, this online course will help
you write the book in a matter of six months.
So just imagine that halfway through twenty twenty six you
could have your finished manuscript in your hands. If you're
someone who's always known that you wanted to write a book,
one thing I want to affirm in you is that
this may not be about publishing. I feel like one
of the reasons that people are attracted to me as
(01:53):
a coach over someone else as a coach, sometimes it
is about publishing. And I've helped hundreds, maybe even a
thousand people get published through outlining their books or helping
them edit their books or helping them, you know, through
my publishing coaching series, helping them kind of like figure
out the nuances of the publishing industry. But I would
say the reason that people usually are attracted to me
(02:15):
is because their project is about way more than just publishing,
because the active writing is so spiritual. In my viewpoint,
it's like it can't not be that there is a
way where you can just sort of execute on a
project and publish it. You know, if you want to
like use AI or whatever to write your book and
then just get it published and make money from it,
that's I suppose a possibility available, But it's not the
(02:36):
type of writing that I teach. Writing will connect you
so deeply to yourself, so deeply to your own life,
so deeply to the world around you, to the creator
of all things, like whatever you call that or think
that is, to the life force that is pulsing through
each and every single one of us. It is such
an amazing spiritual experience that it just to diminish it
(02:59):
to a publishing project is just not fair. It's boiling
it down to something so small that just doesn't even
get at what it really is about. So if you
feel like you have a book in you, but you're like,
I don't know how I would ever publish it, or no,
I don't really have any followers on Instagram who would
ever even read that? Or the thought of getting on
Instagram and getting a bunch of followers sounds miserable to me.
(03:20):
I have no interest in that. Welcome. You are in
the right place, you have found the right coach, you
have found the right community of people. Because yes, we
all feel the exact same way. The thought of getting
on Instagram or TikTok and doing little dances to get
people to notice our writing feels like hell on Earth.
And yet here we are feeling tugged and pulled by
these book ideas that have come into our life outside
(03:41):
of our conscious awareness. We don't really know why they're here,
and yet we are obedient to the call because here
they sit, and they're asking us to be the ones
to steward them into existence. So if that sounds like you,
then a book in six months is available for you
at this unprecedented rate right now, and I don't want
you to miss your chance to take it. Advantage of that.
It's available until the end of December twenty twenty five,
(04:03):
So grab a book in six months at a book
in six months dot com. Use the discount code gratitude.
That's what's going to take the price from nine ninety
nine to two twenty two, and please enjoy. I can't
wait to see what you create when you put this
course to use. Okay, now to dive into the topic
of today's conversation, which as I was sitting here getting
(04:25):
ready to start recording this episode, I was trying to
figure out how to even put this into words, because
I feel like, here's my fear is that as I
put this into words, it's going to sound more trite
than it feels to me in my body. This is
a lesson I think I'm learning for the first time
in an embodied way. And I talked about this a
(04:46):
little bit last week. But when we learn a lesson
in an embodied way, we learn it in a whole
new way. It's about so much more than just understanding information.
I think a lot of times in the world of
self help and self improvement that can be kind of
like information in, information out, And we can regurgitate a
lot of these things, but we don't actually when you
(05:06):
sync in and when you are present and when you
pay attention. You realize that like these lessons, you know
them and you can say them, but you don't live them.
For example, you might believe this idea that what is
for you won't pass you by. You've heard people say that,
you believe it to be true. You can say it
and regurgitate it and speak it. But no matter how
(05:28):
many times you speak it, when something that you want
to happen or wish would happen slips from your grip
or from your fingertips, your body might respond in actually
a very different way. You might feel this sense of devastation,
like you've been passed over, or you've been missed, or
nothing's ever going to go your way, or nothing ever
happens the way that you want it to happen, And
(05:49):
both of those things are important to pay attention to.
I'm not saying, you know, bypass those feelings. I think
this is what happens in self help. A lot is
that because we understand that believing these, you know, positive
sayings or positive affirmations is such an important part of
our growth that we instead of listening and tuning into
what our bodies are telling us, that we jump over
what our bodies tell us, and we just keep going no, no, no,
(06:12):
what is form? We won't pass me by? What is form?
We won't pass me by? What is form? We won't
pass me by. Well, it doesn't matter how many times
you say something like that. If your body hasn't caught up,
if you don't understand that and believe it in an
embodied way, then there's this gap. There's this disconnect between
what your brain believes and what your body believes, and
no matter how much your brain believes it, it can't
overcome the gap of your body not being on board.
(06:34):
And so this is kind of what I was getting
at last week that until we start to understand these
things and believe them in a more embodied way, then
we won't see the fruit of them or the result
of them in our lives. So the reason I bring
any of that up is just to say that what
I want to talk about on today's episode is in
some ways, as I speak, the words going to sound
kind of trite or obvious, like duh, yeah, we all
(06:55):
know that. But what I think is happening for me
is that I'm starting to really sync into this lesson
in a deeper way, and for me to put it
into words is part of the process of solidifying this embodiment.
And I think you know this takes me back to
what I just said a minute ago about writing a
(07:16):
book being about way more than just publishing a piece
of work. You may never ever publish the piece of
work that you're working on, but the message that's calling
to you, the book that's calling to you, probably part
of the purpose of that book is getting you to
take an embodied experience, an embodied lesson that is coming
through you and getting you to communicate it, to put
(07:38):
it into words. You're pulling it from your unconscious into
your conscious so that you can bring your body and
brain on board together. You can bring them into alignment
so that you can start to experience your life in
the way of these positive affirmations. This goes along with
what I'm talking about today, But like the disconnect between
what self help tells you to do, just like repeat
(07:58):
these positive affirmations to yourself again and again and again
and again, there's a disconnect because you can do that
forever and ever, and you can never really feel like
these things that you're saying to yourself are true. You
might tell yourself like I'm beautiful, I'm loved, I'm abundant,
And you might never really feel feel in your gut
like those things are true. You might feel actually quite opposite.
(08:21):
And the more you try to paint over or wash
over what your body feels with what you know you're
supposed to say, the greater that divide becomes, and the
more discontent I believe you're going to feel in your life.
And I'm speaking this from personal experience because I think
there's a strong tendency for many of us, and especially
(08:44):
if you are well. I'll just speak for myself. I
am the oldest daughter in my family, and as I've
talked about before on the show, I have a pattern
in my life that is like, if I can just
get a straight A, if I can just get if
I can just study and ace the test, everything is
going to be fine. And I think I have approached
(09:06):
self help from that angle for most of my life.
Self help, psychology, personal growth, all of it. I've approached
that those things that way. It's like I'm going to
conquer therapy. I'm going to conquer you know, personal I'm
going to read this book. I'm going to order it,
I'm going to pay for it. I'm going to read it.
I'm going to highlight it, I'm going to take notes.
I'm going to pass the quiz. I'm going to write
(09:28):
a paper on it. I'm going to publish the blog post.
I'm going to write another book. I'm going to do
all the things that a person could possibly do, and
I'm going to ace being the best person on the
face of planet Earth. And guess what the fact of
the matter is, No matter how much you is the test,
You're still a human being on planet Earth, and your
body may not. My body definitely hadn't caught up with
(09:50):
all the things that I know to be true. Like
you can read a self help book and know these
things to be true, But if your body hasn't caught
up with it, then it doesn't really matter what's going
on on in your brain. You need both to be
on the same page. So this lesson that I want
to talk about today is a very simple lesson, but
it is a lesson that I'm learning in an embodied way,
(10:12):
and I really want to talk about it, both because
I think it will solidify the embodiment for me and
also because I want to share in this revelation with you.
Before I go any further. If you are hearing a
ruckus in the background, a commotion, as they say, it's
my two children who are upstairs who are home with
me today. And this is perfect for this new lesson
(10:34):
that I'm learning that we have to just be with
what is. We have to be with the truth of
what is. This is the truth of what is. I
do not have a totally silent house today. So if
you're hearing a commotion in the background, that's what you're hearing.
If you're not hearing a commotion in the background, then
just say a little silent thank you to my producer, Houston,
because it means he did a wizard lee job of
cutting the commotion out of the background. So say hello
(10:56):
to my kids, say hello to Houston, and we will
proceed from here. Okay, I want to start by reading
this poem by Nikita Gill. This is kind of where
this journey began for me. I found this poem on Instagram,
and I'm always keeping my eyes open for short little
(11:18):
poems because every month I create a new flow to
teach at the yoga studio. I've been teaching a couple
days a week at Yoga of East Nashville. Here in
East Nashville, every teacher does it very differently, I have learned.
But one of the things that I do that's unique
is I pick a poem to build the flow around.
So the poem kind of sets the tone for the flow.
It usually defines the theme of the class. And so
(11:39):
I'm always on the lookout for a poem that's like
really speaking to me at that time. And this is
the poem that I came across for the month of December,
and it just really called to me. I don't even
think I knew at the moment that I picked it.
I'm going to read it to you and you're gonna
be like, no, this is so simple. Ali, it is
extremely simple, but I don't think I understood at the
time that I chose it the depth that is available
(12:01):
inside of this poem. So I want to read it
to you, and I want to talk to you about
how this has been influencing the way that I teach
this particular month's yoga flow, because I think that will
help you understand how this simple message has become more
embodied and maybe there'll be something in it that inspires
you as well. So the poem just goes like this.
Every day is not an opportunity to improve yourself. Some
(12:25):
days are just there for you to accept yourself and
look at the clouds. This too is growth, This too
is rising. Just existing is enough on some days. The
flowers do it every day and make the world more
beautiful just by being here, So do you. I'll read
it one more time. Every day is not an opportunity
to improve yourself. Some days are just there for you
(12:48):
to accept yourself and look at the clouds. This too
is growth, This too is rising. Just existing is enough
on some days. The flowers do it every day and
make the world more beautiful just by being here, So
do you. That's by Nikita Gill And so the theme
of the flow that I'm teaching this month at the
(13:10):
yoga studio is this theme of enough. I just started
thinking this. I was building this flow right around Thanksgiving.
I know this is kind of cheesy, but I was
thinking about this concept of enough. Like their word enough
means so many different things, the concept of like having
had enough of something, like being so full up on
(13:31):
something that you're ready to be done with it, And
how sometimes we have these things in our life that
it's just like enough, like I've had enough of that,
I'm so done doing that, I'm full up on that thing.
I'm ready to move on to the next thing. And
also the concept of enough from the standpoint of wanting
to have enough, like wanting to have enough of the
(13:52):
things that matter to us that we can feel full
and satiated and content and satisfied. And there's a tipping
point from one to the other where we're full and
content and satisfied. It's like a tiny little hairline tipping
point to where we go like I've had too much. Now,
I've had enough. Enough is enough, I'm moving on to
(14:13):
the next thing. So I just started thinking of the
nuance of that, and also essentially what she's saying here
in the poem, this concept of choosing to find some
spaces in your life that are not about constant growth.
And I started thinking about how much effort and energy
I have put in in the last ten fifteen years
(14:37):
of my life to growing and becoming a better person
and becoming the best version of myself and being on
this trajectory. And I think there's so much value to
be found in that. And I'm really proud of the
improvements that I've made and the progress that I've made
and the healing that has come to me, and yet
I just started thinking, like, is there a point where
(14:57):
you go enough? Like I'm full up on the self
help stuff. I'm I think I've had enough of that.
Is there a point where you go It's enough that
I'm here right now, It's enough that I'm a human being,
It's enough that I'm I'm in this moment today and
not everything about my life is perfect, and there's still,
(15:19):
you know, things that are messy, and there's problems that
I'm working through, and there's things that I wish that
I had, But it's enough, I'm enough. And so I
had this idea as I was reading the poem. This
was kind of like where my head was at. And
then I wanted to bring this into the yoga studio,
and so I started saying to my classes at the
beginning of the practice, I would say, this practice is
(15:41):
about the theme of enough enough, meaning it's enough that
you arrived here today. You don't have to do anything else.
This requires no additions to just being here and being
on your mat. You know, everything that you do after
this point is icing on the cake. Every time that
you breathe every time that you move your body, it's
all icing on the cake. It's enough that you just arrived.
(16:01):
And teaching the flow from that perspective, I started to
have this little bit of a wrestle with it because
I was realizing, Okay, I'm teaching a power flow class.
I've talked about this before, but powerflow yoga is a
powerful flow from posture to posture that will get your
heart rate up. We at Hi Yoga Beast Nashville, you're
(16:23):
in a hot room, so the room is heated to
like ninety eight or ninety nine degrees, and so you know,
you're working up a sweat and your heart rate is up,
and you're moving from posture to posture, and it is
an extremely powerful practice. So what is the balance I
was trying to figure out, Like, what's the balance between
saying like, it's enough that I'm here. I don't even
(16:43):
have to move, I don't have to improve myself today.
I don't have to, you know, become stronger. Because I
think sometimes there's nothing wrong with this. I'm not talking
about like a good thing and a bad thing, So
just know that as I say this, but I think
sometimes with yoga and with any workout regis and with
any kind of self help or self improvement. There's nothing
(17:04):
wrong with any of those things. But sometimes we get
in this mode where it's just like, you know, the
shaking means we're building strength, and like we're becoming more powerful.
And every time that you show up here, you get
stronger and you become better, and you know your heart
is stronger, and you're all these things all true and
all fine. But I just started to go, like, how
how do you integrate this concept of enough into that
(17:28):
type of an environment where people are there to get better?
Like people are here to heal, people are here to grow.
Nothing wrong with wanting to grow, nothing wrong with wanting
to heal. This is the journey I've been on for
the last fifteen years of my life. And where would
I be without that journey? Like thank God for yoga
and thank God for therapy, and thank God for self help,
and thank God for all the books and like everything
that I've done. So how do we how do those
(17:51):
two things live together? And as I was moving through
my own practice and teaching the flow that I teach,
one of the things that came up for me in
this really like grounded embodied way was that it's really
not about a question of whether you'll do the posture
or not do the posture. Because I kept thinking like, okay,
so if it's about I've done enough, showing up is enough,
(18:12):
just being here is enough, then wouldn't that mean I
would just lay on my mat the whole time and
not even really do do the postures. But I was
realizing it's not really a matter of whether or not
I do the postures. It's actually the energy of where
it comes from. So what I was sensing and feeling
into as I was practicing is like I can choose
(18:35):
to do these postures from a place of enough, as
in being here's enough. Being me is enough. I don't
have anywhere that I need to get to or go.
I'm not trying to win yoga. As my teacher Missy says,
there's nothing to accomplish or to achieve in this room.
And yet I can choose to show up in my fullness,
(18:56):
in my power because I refuse to hold back the
fullness of who I am from this space or any space. Oh,
I have chills over my body saying that that really
is the essence of the lesson that I think is
becoming embodied in my life. Is can I show up
to my life in a way that is not about achieving, accomplishing, winning,
(19:20):
you know, getting as far as possible, completing as much
as possible, being as productive as possible. Can I show
up in my life in a way that is still
equally as powerful, whether I move or whether I don't move,
whether I'm in child's pose or whether I do every
posture in the freaking flow. Because I refuse to shrink
(19:40):
myself down to anything less than the fullness of who
I am. So I show up in my mess I
show up in my sorrow, I show up in my brilliance,
I show up in my creativity. I show up in
my life in every possible way, in the fullness of
who I am, without apologizing, without compromising. And this is
why I said it's perfect that my kids are making
noise in the background, because I think one of the
(20:01):
things that's happened to me since I've been a mom
is like this perfectionism that I've leaned on my entire life,
it's breaking down, like makes me emotional just to talk
about it. I have always leaned on this ability to
show up and perform, to be perfect. And let me
tell you what will ruin your performance in your life
is kids who do not give a shit about performing
(20:23):
for anybody, and so they make noise, they make messes,
they don't care. They do whatever feels good in the moment,
Like they're the most embodied creatures on the face of
the earth. And so to be a mom and to
still show up means that I have to show up
in my vulnerability. I have to show up in a
way where like I can't show up in my perfection,
(20:44):
It's impossible. And so I think I've vacillated back and
forth since I've become a mom between being willing to
show up if I can like pull it together that
day and be in my performance, or hiding in my
house and unwilling to show up because I can't show
up in my perfection. And I think the challenge is, like,
can you show up even in your Can you show up?
(21:07):
Can you decide that it is enough for you to
show up as you are today and maybe as you
are today and the honest truth of who you are today.
Maybe that means that in order to stay in integrity
with you, with who you are and where you are today,
maybe it means you lay on your mat the whole
freaking class. Maybe that is who you are in integrity today.
(21:29):
But I think this is the tricky part is we
have to get really good at inner listening and asking ourselves, like,
what is an integrity with me today? Is it an
integra integrity with me today to lay on the mat?
Or am I choosing to lay on the mat because
I have bought into a belief that is untrue about me?
And untangling those things is not a one time situation.
(21:52):
It's not a switch that you flip. And this is
what's becoming so embodied for me. It's not a switch
that you flip where it's like, oh yeah, now I'm
the expert at knowing. I'm not an expert at inner listening.
In or listening requires attunement to yourself at all times
in such a way where from moment to moment you
can check in with yourself about what's true to you,
(22:12):
true for you, Yeah, true to you and true for you.
So you can check in with yourself and go like,
right now, what's being asked for is rest? Right now,
what's being asked for is to lay down? Right now?
What's being asked for is more breath like, breathing deeper
into my belly. That's what's being called for in this moment.
(22:34):
What's being asked for from me or right now, what's
being asked for is to push through the illusion that
I am out of energy, to push through this illusion
that this is all I have to give right now.
What's being asked for me is to show up in
the fullness of who I am, even though I'm tired,
even though I feel like I might burst into tears,
(22:56):
even though I don't feel like I can do it.
To show up in the fullness of me means to
show up and do it and strike the pose and
be in the posture fully, you know, to be in
the fullness of the posture and to know which is
which and when is asking for what is a constant
conversation with yourself, and so there's no solution. There's no
(23:20):
one way to do this or one way to know it.
It's like we just have to get so good at
listening to ourselves that we can discern what place this
quote motivation is coming from to show up and power
through a class. Let me just take this beyond the
yoga room. For any of you who are not Yogi's.
Many of you, I think probably are not Yogi's, and
(23:42):
so the yoga analogy might not land as deeply with you.
Let me just take this beyond the yoga room for
any of you who are not yogi's. Many of you,
I think probably are yogi's, and so the yoga analogy
might not land as deeply with you. But this applies
(24:05):
outside of the yoga room. I think. The question I've
started to ask myself is where is the motivation coming
from to do the things that I'm doing in my life?
Because there are multiple places that motivation can come from.
The motivation to you know, accomplish, achieve whatever can come
from a sense of performance, a sense of feeling not enough.
(24:28):
And this is gosh, like, this comes so full circle.
I know this sounds very simple, but it is like
sinking into my body in a deep way that the performance,
the perfectionism that I have leaned on for all of
my life to motivate myself, to discipline myself to get
things accomplished, has come from a place of not enoughness.
(24:49):
It has come from a place of feeling like I
am not enough as I am, and so in order
to be enough, I have to go be do achieve
you know, show up, be there for people, be the best,
best friend, be the best mom, be the best wife,
be the best this the best that, be the community member,
the one who always shows up, who's always on time,
who does everything for everyone, you know, who never misses
(25:11):
a day. The need to fill in those gaps and
to be everything to everyone has come from this place
of feeling like I'm not enough if I don't do
those things. But this is what's wild, Like I could
do those same exact things. It could come from a
different place, a different kind of motivation, and it could
(25:33):
be a different outcome. It could have a different resonance
in the world. I could choose to show up and
be a great mom, and show up and be a
great wife, and show up and be a great friend,
and meet people where they are and be present with others.
Not because I'm trying to prove myself to them and
I need them to know what a great person I am,
because I don't think I'm a great person, but because
(25:53):
I refuse to shrink myself down. I refuse to hold
back the fullness of who I am from the life
that I'm trying to lead. I refuse to try to
clean up my life so that I look perfect to everyone.
I show up in all my mess I show up
in all my humanness, like I show up in the
fullness of who I am every single place that I go.
And that can be what drives me, what motivates me,
(26:15):
what gets me out of bed in the morning, what
infuses me with energy, and what allows me to sure
accomplish and achieve some things in my life. But it
could feel really different. The resonance could feel different than
it would if I was it was coming from a
place of not enoughness. The achievement to overcome not enoughness
(26:36):
creates more not enoughness. Oh, this is something that I
have heard people say. This is what I mean by embodied.
I've heard people say this and it has never really
sunk in with me. And reading this poem and teaching
this flow has made this sink so deeply in my
bones I could never ignore it again. The achievement from
not enoughness will create more not enoughness. And this is
(26:59):
I think one of the big lessons that's been trying
to be birthed in my life. In the last five years.
I have felt at points like and if you've been
around here while you've listened to me kind of like
I guess, whine and complain about all the things that
have gone wrong for me. In five years, I have
told this story over and over again, trying to figure
(27:20):
out what is this here for, what is the story
trying to show me? What's it trying to teach me?
And I really believe this is one of the things
that's been trying to show me is that the more
you do from a place of not enoughness, the less
you will have. And that has felt so true for
me over the course of the last five years. When
I look back, I'm just like, yeah, I have just
kept trying and spinning and spinning and spinning my wheels
(27:41):
from a place of not enoughness. But what if I
were to pause and to really check in with myself
and to have that inner conversation, that quiet conversation with
myself where I ask, like, what's being called for today?
Like what is my highest excitement at this moment? What
is my body asking for at this time? And if
I were willing to really become attuned to that, like
(28:06):
really be obedient to what is being asked for moment
to moment, A lot of the towers that I have
built from a place of achievement would fall to the ground.
And I think that's what I've been so terrified of.
And yet what, like, listen to my story from the
last five years, everything has fallen. Everything I've wanted to
achieve has come a part. So it's like, what else
(28:26):
do you have to lose? Ali like, this is happening
whether you want it to happen or not. So it
can either happen with your resistance involved and it will
be extremely painful, or it can happen without resistance and
it will become much easier. So if I'm willing to
really deeply listen to myself and to be obedient to
what my body is asking for me and from me,
(28:49):
then these towers will fall, the ones that I've built
from a place of achievement, and not enoughness, but new
growth will happen, new growth will spring up. And in
order to trust that, I have to trust that I
am enough, that just me showing up like she talks
about in this poem, just me showing up and being
(29:10):
here is enough that the flowers make the world more beautiful,
and so do I just by being exactly who I
am without contorting myself without improving myself, without growth, or
being on this trajectory of trying to find my highest self.
It's like, if I can just allow myself to exist,
then everything is going to be okay, and everything is
(29:32):
going to be more than okay. So this is the
lesson that is so simple that is becoming deeply embodied
in my bones. It's like sinking so deep into me
that I'm like, how did I miss this all this time?
It is about choosing to believe that I am enough,
exactly as I am. It's about deeply, deeply inner listening
(29:54):
to know what is being called for moment to moment.
It's about trusting that whatever falls away from you was
meant to fall away from you. All those towers that
you built from perfectionism and shame and proving yourself to
others and trying to be whatever it was that you
thought you were trying to be. I mean, I'm literally
watching in real time as my life shifts. It's so
(30:16):
different than I thought it would look like when I
learned from self help about you know, manifestation or whatever.
The way my life looks is so different than I
thought it would look based on how people teach that stuff.
But what I'm watching happen is the version of myself
that I built on top of my own shame and
on top of my own sense of inadequacy is falling
(30:38):
apart and literally crumbling, falling down, like she can no
longer even achieve anything. Like all the things that she
used to be able to achieve, she is unable to achieve.
Now it's her. The pattern is falling apart, you know,
like it is not even effective as it used to be,
so it makes it easier to let go of. And
then the person who's emerging is a truer essence of
(31:03):
who I actually am. It's like I thought I wanted
to be. I mean, this is just one example for me,
but I'm saying this as an example so you can
start to think about what this might look like for you.
Like for me, it was like I before I had kids,
I was like, I'm going to take the publishing world
by storm. I'm going to flip this industry on its head.
I'm going to be this like ceo like boss babe girl.
And now I'm just like, oh god, like the thought
(31:24):
of being a CEO boss babe like makes me kind
of want to vomit. I'm like, that is not who
I am. And if I could really listen even for
a second, to the essence of how I have always
been from the moment I stepped foot on planet Earth,
that is not who I've been. And it's like I
thought I needed to become that in order to be
impressive or prove something to someone. And if I can
(31:46):
let that go, if I can let that projection of
myself go, then and I have in order to do that,
it means I have to let go of, you know,
the earnings that I thought I would have, and the
business I thought I would have, and then being the
leader I thought I would be, and you know, maybe
I let go of Like at this point, it's like,
will I write another book? Like is does it even
make sense for me to have a business? Should I
(32:07):
have a podcast?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Like I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Willing to release all of those things. I'm not saying
that I'm quitting the podcast. I'm just saying, like, I
don't know what will happen in the future with those things,
because I am willing to let them go in order
to see what's trying to grow in my life. And
when I really tune in to the essence of who
I am. It's like she's a creative, She's an artist,
you know, like she came here to make stuff and
(32:29):
to maybe to hold space for other people to make
stuff too. But I genuinely don't know what that will
look like, and that is a little scary. But I'm
stepping into that space with utter faith and trust that
when I can allow for my life to grow in
front of my eyes, that it's going to be easy.
It's going to be so much easier than what I
(32:51):
was doing before. I'm going to close with this last
thing because this epiphany came through this morning that I
wasn't sure was even related to this podcast. I was
for a second, I was like, maybe I should talk
about this instead, But now I'm realizing it's actually related
to what I've been talking about this whole episode. So
I'm going to say this last thing that was a
little epiphany that came through this morning when I I
had just woken up and was journaling, because it's connected
(33:15):
to what I've been talking about. I'll read it to
you directly from the notes app on my phone, which
is how it came through. It's rough. This is a
perfect example of showing up in your fullness. Like I
didn't plan to read this. I just wrote this. I
scribbled it out this morning. It's rough, it's messy, it's real.
This is what I actually wrote, and it is very
connected to what I'm talking about. It says, maybe the
(33:37):
purpose of your pain is not to make you stronger,
but to make you softer. Maybe it's meant to make
you more compassionate. Maybe it's meant to strip away all
that is not you and to reveal the truth of
who you are, the tender, vulnerable, little being that you are.
Maybe the purpose of your pain is not an outcome,
but the way it carves you out from the middle.
(33:59):
You say you're gutted. Maybe that's the point you've been
scooped out, emptied so that new life can flow. You
say you want ease, let it be easy. You say,
what if easy doesn't mean what you think it means.
What if ease means letting it all happen, no resistance,
no fighting, no attachment to outcome. Imagine rolling a boulder
(34:21):
up a hill versus letting it roll down. Maybe you
can't imagine letting it go. The destruction, the consequences, the
avalanche of anger and grief. Let it go anyway that
is ease. And so when I say easy, that's what
I mean by easy, I don't mean easy. I think
sometimes this stuff gets sort of like regurgitated in a
(34:43):
disembodied way in the self help world, and so you
hear about manifestation, and you hear about like, let it
be easy, let it be easy, let it be easy,
and it doesn't have the resonance like you're just like, what, like,
life is not easy, And it's because it's not if
you're re living your life in an embodied way. If
you're really here in a human body, and if you're
living a human life, it is going to be full
(35:06):
of pain and grief and fear and all of the
experiences of what it means to be human. And it's
also if you're willing to allow it to happen, it's
also going to be full of beauty and of grace
and friendship and community and love and connection and all
of it. Like you can't separate one from the other.
It will have all of it together. The more you allow,
(35:28):
the more there will be. And the more you fight
and resist and work and build this projection of who
you think you should be, or who you want to be,
or who you think would be impressive to others, the
less of it you'll have. So join me in this
radical act of trust, of letting go of the image
of yourself that you want to project to the world.
(35:51):
Join me in quitting self help. I mean, I don't
really mean that, because self help has meant so much
to me, But I do mean that, like I think
the life raft that's self help was to me. I
am no longer floating aimlessly in the ocean. Like I've
moved past. I've graduated past what self help needed to
be for me, and I've moved into a new phase
(36:11):
where I can just allow myself to be exactly as
I am. I don't have to. I'm not navigating through,
like you know, life altering trauma right now. It's sinking
deeper into what it means to really be a human being.
There's much more to say about that, but the time
has come for me to wrap this up. So I
hope there's something I said today that you can take
(36:32):
away from this episode and spend some time thinking about
it or apply it to your life. Something that was
inspiring or encouraging to you, and don't forget if you
have a book idea that's nagging at you. If this
is you showing up in the fullness of your expression,
do not wait any longer. Make sure that you get
the discount on a book in six months, a book
(36:53):
in six months. Dot com use the code gratitude I
check out, I love you and I'll see you next week.
I want to write your story. Podcast
Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back
together with the words you write. All the beauty and
peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when
you write your story.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You got the.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Words and said, don't you think it's down to let
them out and write them down and covered it's all
about and write write your story. Write you write your story.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hi, friend, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast.
I'm Ali Fallon, I'm your host, and before we get
into the content of today's episode, I just want to
make sure that you know that my signature course, A
Book in six Months is back as a self guided course,
and it is available until the end of this month,
until the end of December twenty twenty five for an
(00:50):
absolutely unprecedented price. I have no plans to take it
back to this price anytime in the near future. It
is normally priced at nine hundred and ninety nine dollars,
and I'm offering a very steep discount right now for
two hundred and twenty two dollars. You can go back
to last week's episode if you want to listen to
the reasoning behind this. But it's a special number for
me that has to do with my dad, who I
(01:10):
lost last year. His birthday was February twenty second, and
then number two two too, just keeps popping up for
me absolutely everywhere. And I woke up in the middle
of the night a couple of weeks ago and just
felt like, I'm supposed to give this course away. Basically,
it's not giving it away because you're still paying for it,
but I'm supposed to give it away at this unprecedented rate.
And so I just wanted you to know, if you
haven't already, if you have a book idea and you
(01:32):
want to get started writing, this online course will help
you write the book in a matter of six months.
So just imagine that halfway through twenty twenty six you
could have your finished manuscript in your hands. If you're
someone who's always known that you wanted to write a book,
one thing I want to affirm in you is that
this may not be about publishing. I feel like one
of the reasons that people are attracted to me as
(01:53):
a coach over someone else as a coach, sometimes it
is about publishing. And I've helped hundreds, maybe even a
thousand people get published through outlining their books or helping
them edit their books or helping them, you know, through
my publishing coaching series, helping them kind of like figure
out the nuances of the publishing industry. But I would
say the reason that people usually are attracted to me
(02:15):
is because their project is about way more than just publishing,
because the active writing is so spiritual. In my viewpoint,
it's like it can't not be that there is a
way where you can just sort of execute on a
project and publish it. You know, if you want to
like use AI or whatever to write your book and
then just get it published and make money from it,
that's I suppose a possibility available, But it's not the
(02:36):
type of writing that I teach. Writing will connect you
so deeply to yourself, so deeply to your own life,
so deeply to the world around you, to the creator
of all things, like whatever you call that or think
that is, to the life force that is pulsing through
each and every single one of us. It is such
an amazing spiritual experience that it just to diminish it
(02:59):
to a publishing project is just not fair. It's boiling
it down to something so small that just doesn't even
get at what it really is about. So if you
feel like you have a book in you, but you're like,
I don't know how I would ever publish it, or no,
I don't really have any followers on Instagram who would
ever even read that? Or the thought of getting on
Instagram and getting a bunch of followers sounds miserable to me.
(03:20):
I have no interest in that. Welcome. You are in
the right place, you have found the right coach, you
have found the right community of people. Because yes, we
all feel the exact same way. The thought of getting
on Instagram or TikTok and doing little dances to get
people to notice our writing feels like hell on Earth.
And yet here we are feeling tugged and pulled by
these book ideas that have come into our life outside
(03:41):
of our conscious awareness. We don't really know why they're here,
and yet we are obedient to the call because here
they sit, and they're asking us to be the ones
to steward them into existence. So if that sounds like you,
then a book in six months is available for you
at this unprecedented rate right now, and I don't want
you to miss your chance to take it. Advantage of that.
It's available until the end of December twenty twenty five,
(04:03):
So grab a book in six months at a book
in six months dot com. Use the discount code gratitude.
That's what's going to take the price from nine ninety
nine to two twenty two, and please enjoy. I can't
wait to see what you create when you put this
course to use. Okay, now to dive into the topic
of today's conversation, which as I was sitting here getting
(04:25):
ready to start recording this episode, I was trying to
figure out how to even put this into words, because
I feel like, here's my fear is that as I
put this into words, it's going to sound more trite
than it feels to me in my body. This is
a lesson I think I'm learning for the first time
in an embodied way. And I talked about this a
(04:46):
little bit last week. But when we learn a lesson
in an embodied way, we learn it in a whole
new way. It's about so much more than just understanding information.
I think a lot of times in the world of
self help and self improvement that can be kind of
like information in, information out, And we can regurgitate a
lot of these things, but we don't actually when you
(05:06):
sync in and when you are present and when you
pay attention. You realize that like these lessons, you know
them and you can say them, but you don't live them.
For example, you might believe this idea that what is
for you won't pass you by. You've heard people say that,
you believe it to be true. You can say it
and regurgitate it and speak it. But no matter how
(05:28):
many times you speak it, when something that you want
to happen or wish would happen slips from your grip
or from your fingertips, your body might respond in actually
a very different way. You might feel this sense of devastation,
like you've been passed over, or you've been missed, or
nothing's ever going to go your way, or nothing ever
happens the way that you want it to happen, And
(05:49):
both of those things are important to pay attention to.
I'm not saying, you know, bypass those feelings. I think
this is what happens in self help. A lot is
that because we understand that believing these, you know, positive
sayings or positive affirmations is such an important part of
our growth that we instead of listening and tuning into
what our bodies are telling us, that we jump over
what our bodies tell us, and we just keep going no, no, no,
(06:12):
what is form? We won't pass me by? What is form?
We won't pass me by? What is form? We won't
pass me by. Well, it doesn't matter how many times
you say something like that. If your body hasn't caught up,
if you don't understand that and believe it in an
embodied way, then there's this gap. There's this disconnect between
what your brain believes and what your body believes, and
no matter how much your brain believes it, it can't
overcome the gap of your body not being on board.
(06:34):
And so this is kind of what I was getting
at last week that until we start to understand these
things and believe them in a more embodied way, then
we won't see the fruit of them or the result
of them in our lives. So the reason I bring
any of that up is just to say that what
I want to talk about on today's episode is in
some ways, as I speak, the words going to sound
kind of trite or obvious, like duh, yeah, we all
(06:55):
know that. But what I think is happening for me
is that I'm starting to really sync into this lesson
in a deeper way, and for me to put it
into words is part of the process of solidifying this embodiment.
And I think you know this takes me back to
what I just said a minute ago about writing a
(07:16):
book being about way more than just publishing a piece
of work. You may never ever publish the piece of
work that you're working on, but the message that's calling
to you, the book that's calling to you, probably part
of the purpose of that book is getting you to
take an embodied experience, an embodied lesson that is coming
through you and getting you to communicate it, to put
(07:38):
it into words. You're pulling it from your unconscious into
your conscious so that you can bring your body and
brain on board together. You can bring them into alignment
so that you can start to experience your life in
the way of these positive affirmations. This goes along with
what I'm talking about today, But like the disconnect between
what self help tells you to do, just like repeat
(07:58):
these positive affirmations to yourself again and again and again
and again, there's a disconnect because you can do that
forever and ever, and you can never really feel like
these things that you're saying to yourself are true. You
might tell yourself like I'm beautiful, I'm loved, I'm abundant,
And you might never really feel feel in your gut
like those things are true. You might feel actually quite opposite.
(08:21):
And the more you try to paint over or wash
over what your body feels with what you know you're
supposed to say, the greater that divide becomes, and the
more discontent I believe you're going to feel in your life.
And I'm speaking this from personal experience because I think
there's a strong tendency for many of us, and especially
(08:44):
if you are well. I'll just speak for myself. I
am the oldest daughter in my family, and as I've
talked about before on the show, I have a pattern
in my life that is like, if I can just
get a straight A, if I can just get if
I can just study and ace the test, everything is
going to be fine. And I think I have approached
(09:06):
self help from that angle for most of my life.
Self help, psychology, personal growth, all of it. I've approached
that those things that way. It's like I'm going to
conquer therapy. I'm going to conquer you know, personal I'm
going to read this book. I'm going to order it,
I'm going to pay for it. I'm going to read it.
I'm going to highlight it, I'm going to take notes.
I'm going to pass the quiz. I'm going to write
(09:28):
a paper on it. I'm going to publish the blog post.
I'm going to write another book. I'm going to do
all the things that a person could possibly do, and
I'm going to ace being the best person on the
face of planet Earth. And guess what the fact of
the matter is, No matter how much you is the test,
You're still a human being on planet Earth, and your
body may not. My body definitely hadn't caught up with
(09:50):
all the things that I know to be true. Like
you can read a self help book and know these
things to be true, But if your body hasn't caught
up with it, then it doesn't really matter what's going
on on in your brain. You need both to be
on the same page. So this lesson that I want
to talk about today is a very simple lesson, but
it is a lesson that I'm learning in an embodied way,
(10:12):
and I really want to talk about it, both because
I think it will solidify the embodiment for me and
also because I want to share in this revelation with you.
Before I go any further. If you are hearing a
ruckus in the background, a commotion, as they say, it's
my two children who are upstairs who are home with
me today. And this is perfect for this new lesson
(10:34):
that I'm learning that we have to just be with
what is. We have to be with the truth of
what is. This is the truth of what is. I
do not have a totally silent house today. So if
you're hearing a commotion in the background, that's what you're hearing.
If you're not hearing a commotion in the background, then
just say a little silent thank you to my producer, Houston,
because it means he did a wizard lee job of
cutting the commotion out of the background. So say hello
(10:56):
to my kids, say hello to Houston, and we will
proceed from here. Okay, I want to start by reading
this poem by Nikita Gill. This is kind of where
this journey began for me. I found this poem on Instagram,
and I'm always keeping my eyes open for short little
(11:18):
poems because every month I create a new flow to
teach at the yoga studio. I've been teaching a couple
days a week at Yoga of East Nashville. Here in
East Nashville, every teacher does it very differently, I have learned.
But one of the things that I do that's unique
is I pick a poem to build the flow around.
So the poem kind of sets the tone for the flow.
It usually defines the theme of the class. And so
(11:39):
I'm always on the lookout for a poem that's like
really speaking to me at that time. And this is
the poem that I came across for the month of December,
and it just really called to me. I don't even
think I knew at the moment that I picked it.
I'm going to read it to you and you're gonna
be like, no, this is so simple. Ali, it is
extremely simple, but I don't think I understood at the
time that I chose it the depth that is available
(12:01):
inside of this poem. So I want to read it
to you, and I want to talk to you about
how this has been influencing the way that I teach
this particular month's yoga flow, because I think that will
help you understand how this simple message has become more
embodied and maybe there'll be something in it that inspires
you as well. So the poem just goes like this.
Every day is not an opportunity to improve yourself. Some
(12:25):
days are just there for you to accept yourself and
look at the clouds. This too is growth, This too
is rising. Just existing is enough on some days. The
flowers do it every day and make the world more
beautiful just by being here, So do you. I'll read
it one more time. Every day is not an opportunity
to improve yourself. Some days are just there for you
(12:48):
to accept yourself and look at the clouds. This too
is growth, This too is rising. Just existing is enough
on some days. The flowers do it every day and
make the world more beautiful just by being here, So
do you. That's by Nikita Gill And so the theme
of the flow that I'm teaching this month at the
(13:10):
yoga studio is this theme of enough. I just started
thinking this. I was building this flow right around Thanksgiving.
I know this is kind of cheesy, but I was
thinking about this concept of enough. Like their word enough
means so many different things, the concept of like having
had enough of something, like being so full up on
(13:31):
something that you're ready to be done with it, And
how sometimes we have these things in our life that
it's just like enough, like I've had enough of that,
I'm so done doing that, I'm full up on that thing.
I'm ready to move on to the next thing. And
also the concept of enough from the standpoint of wanting
to have enough, like wanting to have enough of the
(13:52):
things that matter to us that we can feel full
and satiated and content and satisfied. And there's a tipping
point from one to the other where we're full and
content and satisfied. It's like a tiny little hairline tipping
point to where we go like I've had too much. Now,
I've had enough. Enough is enough, I'm moving on to
(14:13):
the next thing. So I just started thinking of the
nuance of that, and also essentially what she's saying here
in the poem, this concept of choosing to find some
spaces in your life that are not about constant growth.
And I started thinking about how much effort and energy
I have put in in the last ten fifteen years
(14:37):
of my life to growing and becoming a better person
and becoming the best version of myself and being on
this trajectory. And I think there's so much value to
be found in that. And I'm really proud of the
improvements that I've made and the progress that I've made
and the healing that has come to me, and yet
I just started thinking, like, is there a point where
(14:57):
you go enough? Like I'm full up on the self
help stuff. I'm I think I've had enough of that.
Is there a point where you go It's enough that
I'm here right now, It's enough that I'm a human being,
It's enough that I'm I'm in this moment today and
not everything about my life is perfect, and there's still,
(15:19):
you know, things that are messy, and there's problems that
I'm working through, and there's things that I wish that
I had, But it's enough, I'm enough. And so I
had this idea as I was reading the poem. This
was kind of like where my head was at. And
then I wanted to bring this into the yoga studio,
and so I started saying to my classes at the
beginning of the practice, I would say, this practice is
(15:41):
about the theme of enough enough, meaning it's enough that
you arrived here today. You don't have to do anything else.
This requires no additions to just being here and being
on your mat. You know, everything that you do after
this point is icing on the cake. Every time that
you breathe every time that you move your body, it's
all icing on the cake. It's enough that you just arrived.
(16:01):
And teaching the flow from that perspective, I started to
have this little bit of a wrestle with it because
I was realizing, Okay, I'm teaching a power flow class.
I've talked about this before, but powerflow yoga is a
powerful flow from posture to posture that will get your
heart rate up. We at Hi Yoga Beast Nashville, you're
(16:23):
in a hot room, so the room is heated to
like ninety eight or ninety nine degrees, and so you know,
you're working up a sweat and your heart rate is up,
and you're moving from posture to posture, and it is
an extremely powerful practice. So what is the balance I
was trying to figure out, Like, what's the balance between
saying like, it's enough that I'm here. I don't even
(16:43):
have to move, I don't have to improve myself today.
I don't have to, you know, become stronger. Because I
think sometimes there's nothing wrong with this. I'm not talking
about like a good thing and a bad thing, So
just know that as I say this, but I think
sometimes with yoga and with any workout regis and with
any kind of self help or self improvement. There's nothing
(17:04):
wrong with any of those things. But sometimes we get
in this mode where it's just like, you know, the
shaking means we're building strength, and like we're becoming more powerful.
And every time that you show up here, you get
stronger and you become better, and you know your heart
is stronger, and you're all these things all true and
all fine. But I just started to go, like, how
how do you integrate this concept of enough into that
(17:28):
type of an environment where people are there to get better?
Like people are here to heal, people are here to grow.
Nothing wrong with wanting to grow, nothing wrong with wanting
to heal. This is the journey I've been on for
the last fifteen years of my life. And where would
I be without that journey? Like thank God for yoga
and thank God for therapy, and thank God for self help,
and thank God for all the books and like everything
that I've done. So how do we how do those
(17:51):
two things live together? And as I was moving through
my own practice and teaching the flow that I teach,
one of the things that came up for me in
this really like grounded embodied way was that it's really
not about a question of whether you'll do the posture
or not do the posture. Because I kept thinking like, okay,
so if it's about I've done enough, showing up is enough,
(18:12):
just being here is enough, then wouldn't that mean I
would just lay on my mat the whole time and
not even really do do the postures. But I was
realizing it's not really a matter of whether or not
I do the postures. It's actually the energy of where
it comes from. So what I was sensing and feeling
into as I was practicing is like I can choose
(18:35):
to do these postures from a place of enough, as
in being here's enough. Being me is enough. I don't
have anywhere that I need to get to or go.
I'm not trying to win yoga. As my teacher Missy says,
there's nothing to accomplish or to achieve in this room.
And yet I can choose to show up in my fullness,
(18:56):
in my power because I refuse to hold back the
fullness of who I am from this space or any space. Oh,
I have chills over my body saying that that really
is the essence of the lesson that I think is
becoming embodied in my life. Is can I show up
to my life in a way that is not about achieving, accomplishing, winning,
(19:20):
you know, getting as far as possible, completing as much
as possible, being as productive as possible. Can I show
up in my life in a way that is still
equally as powerful, whether I move or whether I don't move,
whether I'm in child's pose or whether I do every
posture in the freaking flow. Because I refuse to shrink
(19:40):
myself down to anything less than the fullness of who
I am. So I show up in my mess I
show up in my sorrow, I show up in my brilliance,
I show up in my creativity. I show up in
my life in every possible way, in the fullness of
who I am, without apologizing, without compromising. And this is
why I said it's perfect that my kids are making
noise in the background, because I think one of the
(20:01):
things that's happened to me since I've been a mom
is like this perfectionism that I've leaned on my entire life,
it's breaking down, like makes me emotional just to talk
about it. I have always leaned on this ability to
show up and perform, to be perfect. And let me
tell you what will ruin your performance in your life
is kids who do not give a shit about performing
(20:23):
for anybody, and so they make noise, they make messes,
they don't care. They do whatever feels good in the moment,
Like they're the most embodied creatures on the face of
the earth. And so to be a mom and to
still show up means that I have to show up
in my vulnerability. I have to show up in a
way where like I can't show up in my perfection,
(20:44):
It's impossible. And so I think I've vacillated back and
forth since I've become a mom between being willing to
show up if I can like pull it together that
day and be in my performance, or hiding in my
house and unwilling to show up because I can't show
up in my perfection. And I think the challenge is, like,
can you show up even in your Can you show up?
(21:07):
Can you decide that it is enough for you to
show up as you are today and maybe as you
are today and the honest truth of who you are today.
Maybe that means that in order to stay in integrity
with you, with who you are and where you are today,
maybe it means you lay on your mat the whole
freaking class. Maybe that is who you are in integrity today.
(21:29):
But I think this is the tricky part is we
have to get really good at inner listening and asking ourselves, like,
what is an integrity with me today? Is it an
integra integrity with me today to lay on the mat?
Or am I choosing to lay on the mat because
I have bought into a belief that is untrue about me?
And untangling those things is not a one time situation.
(21:52):
It's not a switch that you flip. And this is
what's becoming so embodied for me. It's not a switch
that you flip where it's like, oh yeah, now I'm
the expert at knowing. I'm not an expert at inner listening.
In or listening requires attunement to yourself at all times
in such a way where from moment to moment you
can check in with yourself about what's true to you,
(22:12):
true for you, Yeah, true to you and true for you.
So you can check in with yourself and go like,
right now, what's being asked for is rest? Right now,
what's being asked for is to lay down? Right now?
What's being asked for is more breath like, breathing deeper
into my belly. That's what's being called for in this moment.
(22:34):
What's being asked for from me or right now, what's
being asked for is to push through the illusion that
I am out of energy, to push through this illusion
that this is all I have to give right now.
What's being asked for me is to show up in
the fullness of who I am, even though I'm tired,
even though I feel like I might burst into tears,
(22:56):
even though I don't feel like I can do it.
To show up in the fullness of me means to
show up and do it and strike the pose and
be in the posture fully, you know, to be in
the fullness of the posture and to know which is
which and when is asking for what is a constant
conversation with yourself, and so there's no solution. There's no
(23:20):
one way to do this or one way to know it.
It's like we just have to get so good at
listening to ourselves that we can discern what place this
quote motivation is coming from to show up and power
through a class. Let me just take this beyond the
yoga room. For any of you who are not Yogi's.
Many of you, I think probably are not Yogi's, and
(23:42):
so the yoga analogy might not land as deeply with you.
Let me just take this beyond the yoga room for
any of you who are not yogi's. Many of you,
I think probably are yogi's, and so the yoga analogy
might not land as deeply with you. But this applies
(24:05):
outside of the yoga room. I think. The question I've
started to ask myself is where is the motivation coming
from to do the things that I'm doing in my life?
Because there are multiple places that motivation can come from.
The motivation to you know, accomplish, achieve whatever can come
from a sense of performance, a sense of feeling not enough.
(24:28):
And this is gosh, like, this comes so full circle.
I know this sounds very simple, but it is like
sinking into my body in a deep way that the performance,
the perfectionism that I have leaned on for all of
my life to motivate myself, to discipline myself to get
things accomplished, has come from a place of not enoughness.
(24:49):
It has come from a place of feeling like I
am not enough as I am, and so in order
to be enough, I have to go be do achieve
you know, show up, be there for people, be the best,
best friend, be the best mom, be the best wife,
be the best this the best that, be the community member,
the one who always shows up, who's always on time,
who does everything for everyone, you know, who never misses
(25:11):
a day. The need to fill in those gaps and
to be everything to everyone has come from this place
of feeling like I'm not enough if I don't do
those things. But this is what's wild, Like I could
do those same exact things. It could come from a
different place, a different kind of motivation, and it could
(25:33):
be a different outcome. It could have a different resonance
in the world. I could choose to show up and
be a great mom, and show up and be a
great wife, and show up and be a great friend,
and meet people where they are and be present with others.
Not because I'm trying to prove myself to them and
I need them to know what a great person I am,
because I don't think I'm a great person, but because
(25:53):
I refuse to shrink myself down. I refuse to hold
back the fullness of who I am from the life
that I'm trying to lead. I refuse to try to
clean up my life so that I look perfect to everyone.
I show up in all my mess I show up
in all my humanness, like I show up in the
fullness of who I am every single place that I go.
And that can be what drives me, what motivates me,
(26:15):
what gets me out of bed in the morning, what
infuses me with energy, and what allows me to sure
accomplish and achieve some things in my life. But it
could feel really different. The resonance could feel different than
it would if I was it was coming from a
place of not enoughness. The achievement to overcome not enoughness
(26:36):
creates more not enoughness. Oh, this is something that I
have heard people say. This is what I mean by embodied.
I've heard people say this and it has never really
sunk in with me. And reading this poem and teaching
this flow has made this sink so deeply in my
bones I could never ignore it again. The achievement from
not enoughness will create more not enoughness. And this is
(26:59):
I think one of the big lessons that's been trying
to be birthed in my life. In the last five years.
I have felt at points like and if you've been
around here while you've listened to me kind of like
I guess, whine and complain about all the things that
have gone wrong for me. In five years, I have
told this story over and over again, trying to figure
(27:20):
out what is this here for, what is the story
trying to show me? What's it trying to teach me?
And I really believe this is one of the things
that's been trying to show me is that the more
you do from a place of not enoughness, the less
you will have. And that has felt so true for
me over the course of the last five years. When
I look back, I'm just like, yeah, I have just
kept trying and spinning and spinning and spinning my wheels
(27:41):
from a place of not enoughness. But what if I
were to pause and to really check in with myself
and to have that inner conversation, that quiet conversation with
myself where I ask, like, what's being called for today?
Like what is my highest excitement at this moment? What
is my body asking for at this time? And if
I were willing to really become attuned to that, like
(28:06):
really be obedient to what is being asked for moment
to moment, A lot of the towers that I have
built from a place of achievement would fall to the ground.
And I think that's what I've been so terrified of.
And yet what, like, listen to my story from the
last five years, everything has fallen. Everything I've wanted to
achieve has come a part. So it's like, what else
(28:26):
do you have to lose? Ali like, this is happening
whether you want it to happen or not. So it
can either happen with your resistance involved and it will
be extremely painful, or it can happen without resistance and
it will become much easier. So if I'm willing to
really deeply listen to myself and to be obedient to
what my body is asking for me and from me,
(28:49):
then these towers will fall, the ones that I've built
from a place of achievement, and not enoughness, but new
growth will happen, new growth will spring up. And in
order to trust that, I have to trust that I
am enough, that just me showing up like she talks
about in this poem, just me showing up and being
(29:10):
here is enough that the flowers make the world more beautiful,
and so do I just by being exactly who I
am without contorting myself without improving myself, without growth, or
being on this trajectory of trying to find my highest self.
It's like, if I can just allow myself to exist,
then everything is going to be okay, and everything is
(29:32):
going to be more than okay. So this is the
lesson that is so simple that is becoming deeply embodied
in my bones. It's like sinking so deep into me
that I'm like, how did I miss this all this time?
It is about choosing to believe that I am enough,
exactly as I am. It's about deeply, deeply inner listening
(29:54):
to know what is being called for moment to moment.
It's about trusting that whatever falls away from you was
meant to fall away from you. All those towers that
you built from perfectionism and shame and proving yourself to
others and trying to be whatever it was that you
thought you were trying to be. I mean, I'm literally
watching in real time as my life shifts. It's so
(30:16):
different than I thought it would look like when I
learned from self help about you know, manifestation or whatever.
The way my life looks is so different than I
thought it would look based on how people teach that stuff.
But what I'm watching happen is the version of myself
that I built on top of my own shame and
on top of my own sense of inadequacy is falling
(30:38):
apart and literally crumbling, falling down, like she can no
longer even achieve anything. Like all the things that she
used to be able to achieve, she is unable to achieve.
Now it's her. The pattern is falling apart, you know,
like it is not even effective as it used to be,
so it makes it easier to let go of. And
then the person who's emerging is a truer essence of
(31:03):
who I actually am. It's like I thought I wanted
to be. I mean, this is just one example for me,
but I'm saying this as an example so you can
start to think about what this might look like for you.
Like for me, it was like I before I had kids,
I was like, I'm going to take the publishing world
by storm. I'm going to flip this industry on its head.
I'm going to be this like ceo like boss babe girl.
And now I'm just like, oh god, like the thought
(31:24):
of being a CEO boss babe like makes me kind
of want to vomit. I'm like, that is not who
I am. And if I could really listen even for
a second, to the essence of how I have always
been from the moment I stepped foot on planet Earth,
that is not who I've been. And it's like I
thought I needed to become that in order to be
impressive or prove something to someone. And if I can
(31:46):
let that go, if I can let that projection of
myself go, then and I have in order to do that,
it means I have to let go of, you know,
the earnings that I thought I would have, and the
business I thought I would have, and then being the
leader I thought I would be, and you know, maybe
I let go of Like at this point, it's like,
will I write another book? Like is does it even
make sense for me to have a business? Should I
(32:07):
have a podcast?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Like I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Willing to release all of those things. I'm not saying
that I'm quitting the podcast. I'm just saying, like, I
don't know what will happen in the future with those things,
because I am willing to let them go in order
to see what's trying to grow in my life. And
when I really tune in to the essence of who
I am. It's like she's a creative, She's an artist,
you know, like she came here to make stuff and
(32:29):
to maybe to hold space for other people to make
stuff too. But I genuinely don't know what that will
look like, and that is a little scary. But I'm
stepping into that space with utter faith and trust that
when I can allow for my life to grow in
front of my eyes, that it's going to be easy.
It's going to be so much easier than what I
(32:51):
was doing before. I'm going to close with this last
thing because this epiphany came through this morning that I
wasn't sure was even related to this podcast. I was
for a second, I was like, maybe I should talk
about this instead, But now I'm realizing it's actually related
to what I've been talking about this whole episode. So
I'm going to say this last thing that was a
little epiphany that came through this morning when I I
had just woken up and was journaling, because it's connected
(33:15):
to what I've been talking about. I'll read it to
you directly from the notes app on my phone, which
is how it came through. It's rough. This is a
perfect example of showing up in your fullness. Like I
didn't plan to read this. I just wrote this. I
scribbled it out this morning. It's rough, it's messy, it's real.
This is what I actually wrote, and it is very
connected to what I'm talking about. It says, maybe the
(33:37):
purpose of your pain is not to make you stronger,
but to make you softer. Maybe it's meant to make
you more compassionate. Maybe it's meant to strip away all
that is not you and to reveal the truth of
who you are, the tender, vulnerable, little being that you are.
Maybe the purpose of your pain is not an outcome,
but the way it carves you out from the middle.
(33:59):
You say you're gutted. Maybe that's the point you've been
scooped out, emptied so that new life can flow. You
say you want ease, let it be easy. You say,
what if easy doesn't mean what you think it means.
What if ease means letting it all happen, no resistance,
no fighting, no attachment to outcome. Imagine rolling a boulder
(34:21):
up a hill versus letting it roll down. Maybe you
can't imagine letting it go. The destruction, the consequences, the
avalanche of anger and grief. Let it go anyway that
is ease. And so when I say easy, that's what
I mean by easy, I don't mean easy. I think
sometimes this stuff gets sort of like regurgitated in a
(34:43):
disembodied way in the self help world, and so you
hear about manifestation, and you hear about like, let it
be easy, let it be easy, let it be easy,
and it doesn't have the resonance like you're just like, what, like,
life is not easy, And it's because it's not if
you're re living your life in an embodied way. If
you're really here in a human body, and if you're
living a human life, it is going to be full
(35:06):
of pain and grief and fear and all of the
experiences of what it means to be human. And it's
also if you're willing to allow it to happen, it's
also going to be full of beauty and of grace
and friendship and community and love and connection and all
of it. Like you can't separate one from the other.
It will have all of it together. The more you allow,
(35:28):
the more there will be. And the more you fight
and resist and work and build this projection of who
you think you should be, or who you want to be,
or who you think would be impressive to others, the
less of it you'll have. So join me in this
radical act of trust, of letting go of the image
of yourself that you want to project to the world.
(35:51):
Join me in quitting self help. I mean, I don't
really mean that, because self help has meant so much
to me, But I do mean that, like I think
the life raft that's self help was to me. I
am no longer floating aimlessly in the ocean. Like I've
moved past. I've graduated past what self help needed to
be for me, and I've moved into a new phase
(36:11):
where I can just allow myself to be exactly as
I am. I don't have to. I'm not navigating through,
like you know, life altering trauma right now. It's sinking
deeper into what it means to really be a human being.
There's much more to say about that, but the time
has come for me to wrap this up. So I
hope there's something I said today that you can take
(36:32):
away from this episode and spend some time thinking about
it or apply it to your life. Something that was
inspiring or encouraging to you, and don't forget if you
have a book idea that's nagging at you. If this
is you showing up in the fullness of your expression,
do not wait any longer. Make sure that you get
the discount on a book in six months, a book
(36:53):
in six months. Dot com use the code gratitude I
check out, I love you and I'll see you next week.
I want to write your story. Podcast
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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