June 2, 2026 • 58 mins
Feelings of the day are torn, confused, excited, and pumped! After they go over the reasons behind all of these feelings, Kat then talks to Amy about the "solo-maxxing" trend, which is the growing movement of people actively choosing to stay single and actually thriving because of it. Then Amy goes over a list of subtle shifts women can make to get a man to play the long game. Some of these are genius. Some of them we would never do. What’s in Amy’s algorithm: a man that spent six years watching nearly 2,000 episodes of Wheel of Fortune to figure out whether husbands who publicly compliment their wives stay married longer. The results are wild. Plus the story of a woman who texted her late father figure's phone number for four years without knowing it had been reassigned, and what happened when the new owner finally wrote back. And lastly... the farting conversation continues. Listeners are calling in from all over with thoughts and stories about passing gas!!!
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts Amy
and Cat got your cob and locking. No brother ladies
and pols. You just follow an the spirit where it's
all the real stuff to the chill stuff and the
m But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things
(00:28):
with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
and my feeling of the day is pumped.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I need to know why you're pumped because I need
some of that. Okay, because Cat's I can not come
in here pumped. Cat's cranky. Well that's her words, not mine.
She said that when she came in. I don't think
you're cranky. I don't didn't argue with me when I
said add cranky to a list.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, yeah, I'll just do mine because it's real quick.
I'm pumped that I think we have solidified our trip
to Kenyon.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Oh yeah, okay, so shut up. I feel that too. Then.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Lauren, my friend that works for Canye Rant who was
a sorority sister of Mine Kappa Kappa Gemma Hey, which
I just got a letter or an email from my
friend's daughter who's going through rush and she's asking me
to write her a letter recommendation for the Kappa House.
And I was like, oh, I can't recall anybody ever
(01:27):
asking me for a REP letter in all my years.
But I guess I'm finally getting to that stage where
my friends are having kids that are that age. And
then also I have these feelings of like a fraud
because I really wasn't that active, So I feel like,
should I really even write this letter? I was a
Kappa like I really was, but there are more qualified
(01:48):
Kappas to maybe write the letter. But I don't think
they care as long as you were a member.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I think it's more do you know that this person
is like a good person versus holt for you in
your sorority?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, okay, Well I just feel like they might open
it up, like even though it's not even my school,
Like she's going to Alabama, I went to A and M,
And as long as it's just because I'm a Kappa,
she can I can write that letter for her there,
so they won't know anything about me. But I feel
like they don't know they have some database so they're like, oh,
this person they would skip meetings.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
They're lame. I don't think they're keeping tabs on you.
I think it's she's gotta let her to check. Okay,
it's like a thing you just have to do.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Check the box. Yeah, it's a whole list of stuff
which Alabama rush like. It makes me think of thetok
TikTok stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Oh my gosh, I'm like, good luck. I was gonna say,
and remember, didn't we talk about this on maybe we
talked about it on the podcast? Why didn't go to Alabama? Yes,
which I'm not gonna repeat that in case this girls listen.
I don't want to scare her. Sorties are so fun. Yeah,
you'll meet so many great people.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So what are your feelings of the day?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay, feeling on one side, torn and confused? Yeah, excited,
and then I've been cranky. I'll just get that off
the way. I'm cranky because I've been how do I
say this managing? But I'm not really managing. I just
have some house. I think last week I was saying
(03:15):
I was excited because I was getting my floors redone.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And now you're cranky about it. I think anybody that
experiences I'll speak for you a little bit here. But
I was talking to a friend the other day about
a home renovation and how she was like, I will
never live in a house while it's being renovated. Again.
I don't know why I thought I could do that,
And I lived through this house. Redid so much while
I was living here, but I didn't have another choice. Now,
(03:39):
some people might be able to go rent somewhere else
and have that, but you're living in your home while
all of your floors are being torn up. An it
might cause a little crankiness just because of the inconvenience,
but it'll pass and then you'll be so happy that
you got your floors. See, oh, it'll be so worse,
Like I was sleeping in my kitchen for like the
first three weeks that I lived.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
In this house. Yes, well, so we have to go
to my parents for the next couple days because they're
doing our they're staining our steps. I just didn't realize
the process, I think, But like, I mean, I'm not
I don't work in construction, so but yeah, we can't
walk you don't, they don't, and the steps have been
(04:22):
confusing to me anyway. We can't walk upstairs. I can't
go back upstairs, so I have to go to my parents' house.
The krakiness was also. I think I just was hungry
because I've had Chick fil A and now I'm feeling
a little better.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You are, you have a different parving your stuff ever
since you ate your Chick fil A, which I will
say you were excited to discover a new Chick fil
A order. See for my eyeballs. You were just eating
the kale salad and then some nuggets on the side.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I was breaking up a couple nuggets and put it
in the kale salad.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
And it was delish.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I wish you could get the kale salad bigger because
it just comes as a little side, but it's so
good and whatever dressing they put on it is so good.
So yeah, the kalees with chicken nuggets on it.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And then I also like regular chicken nuggets, not grilled.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yes, I'm out on the grilled right now. And then
I also got a little side of fruit because all
I wanted. I think maybe this is why I was cranky.
I even texted Patrick this, all I want is a
watermelon and an apple. But I couldn't leave my house
because I was waiting for somebody to show up, and
so then I got the side of fruit because had apples.
That might have been my crankiness.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
So you just needed a little watermelon.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Just needed some fruit.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Okay, that's okay, you're pregnant, it makes sense.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah. Well then, okay, so I'm torn and confused my
other feeling because I'm also part of the renovations. But
I don't know I would call this renovation. We're painting
the nursery. You've picked out pink colors before?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I sure have.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
It's so confusing. I picked out a color I thought
was pink, I got home, put it on the wall
and looks brown.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Well, the lighting makes a big difference.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And yeah, so I'm just torn on what colors. If
you've heard of the color hushed auburn and you used
it and you've loved it, let me know hushed auburn
in some pictures online. A lot of people use it
for baby nurseries because it is a It looks like
a mauve color, but it actually is more brown. But
(06:21):
depending on what it's next to, it will pick up
more pinks or we'll pick up more browns. So I
really wanted to use that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
It reminds me of dead salmon.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Oh, but you didn't like that.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, I liked it, so salmon. I have it in
my game room bathroom.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I thought you said you would have.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I just would have done I love the dead salmon.
I would have just done the that bathroom something different.
I don't think I needed to put the dead salmon
in there. I hate the name of that, I know,
but hushed Auburn is.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I like it well? Because I didn't want my thing
is I don't I'm not a pink person, so I
was trying to go pinkish, but not at be like
pink in your face, because I was afraid I would
get tired of that. But then on the wall it
looks kind of brown, So I don't know. I'm torn
and confused obviously, but also excited because we're getting so
close to like.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
It being so many feelings.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yes, yeah, anyway, if you've used Hush Auburn, please let
me know and you've liked it. If you've also if
you've hated it and you said it was a mistake,
let me know.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I I guess I thought y'all were doing wallpaper. I
was going to okay, because when I was over there.
You were showing me like all the samples were taped
up on the wall and you were yeah, you were like,
ignore all of those they're awful.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
And I was like, okay, you probably were like thank god.
And then I got one more. I said I would
order one more sample because it was really cute and
I had Swans on it, and I was like, oh,
her room could be like Swan themed.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I will say, depending on how long you're gonna want
that wallpaper. Wallpaper is so expensive, that's and so many
people that wallpaper and nurseries. I'm like, you better or
I would need to unless they're fine with just swapping
it out or ripping it down or painting over it
and not that big of a deal. But like I
would want the wallpaper.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
You gotta love it for a long time.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, for a long time.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
So I figured the reason I'm not doing wallpaper is
because of that.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's like if you make it too baby centric, I
mean like like if you like the Swans into her
younger years, and I thought, maybe she's like, like it
be cute forever.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
She could like it until she was like that.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
But I guess Swans I would really like. But if
you were gonna do like storks delivering a baby like that.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Would never do that. No, the most the cutest nursery
wallpaper is like baby, so like, it was hard to
find one that I wanted to put in there that
would last. But then my thought is, I think if
we have another kid, it'll hopefully be a boy, because
you know, we can pick the gender. It's the one
(08:50):
benefit of science. Yeah, I'm doing IBF, but that's that
room would be the nursery again because it has a
huge closet that I built a changing table into, so
I didn't want to have to. Then I was like, well,
then I'm gonna have to redo boy wallpaper, and.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Why would just Okay, then keep hushed auburn. If it's brown,
then you just make it a little more western like
hushed Auburn. You can make it more elegant with like
the pinks if and then when it's a boy, make
it more rustic.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Did you just solve my problem?
Speaker 5 (09:20):
I think?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
So? Wait, that's a yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I think that's I'm love what I'm seeing online of
hushed Alburne. I love it. I think that there's plenty
of accenting you can do around it. That is stuff
that you won't care about if after a year you're
sick of it because it's cheaper ways to incorporate the
some pink tones, but then your overall main color is versatile.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, we need to get your sister's input on this too.
She's good at this stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I'm not gonna know.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
No, No, you're good.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I just I no, I was just being a little sassy.
I know my sister is way better. She might actually
even have input on a color that she Oh, I
use this on a project, you would really like it
and it's versatile.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Okay, I feel so much. I feel like a weight.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Was just I think just knowing you, like, let's just
make it easy, and like you're not gonna want to
after you've got a baby and then potentially another one
on the way, you're not gonna be wanting to rethink
cranky again. But then I know, if you are cranky,
I just need to get used some kale salad and
some chicken nuggets and you'll be good to go.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yeah, okay, well thanks, Yeah, I'm glad we talked about this.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No problem. Maybe we solved that problem for some other
people too. They're looking up hushed auburn right now. And
they're like or dead salmon.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I hushed auburn. It's all over TikTok. I will say that,
So I guess it's the thing. Okay, Okay, I saw
something that I think you might be interested in. Well,
I don't want to put that on you. I'll let
you decide.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
It's called solo maxine.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well, everything's maxing these days.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Everything's maxing color maxing, which looks maxine?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Those are the people where they are maximizing their looks,
but they do dangerous things. It's not good. There's a
looks maxter on TikTok or like meth. You know, the
looks max are on TikTok where he's a model but
he like injects like meth for his looks. But that's
only going to last so long for him, because we
think eventually meth catches up to you and the looks are.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Not Wait, yeah, what does meth do?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Well, I didn't know we were going to be talking
about this, so I don't know the specifics. I just
know he was under fire for his looks maxing techniques
and that a lot of people are following him and
it's dangerous because it's the stuff he's doing to look
chiseled and have the chiseled jawline and look a certain
way is not healthy. And so that's all I know
(11:40):
about looks maxing. And then what is it that I'm
trying to do with my oar ring where I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Like sleep maxing, Yeah, but optimization of your sleep cycle.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
So maybe it's optimaxing or something that there's people that're
trying to optimize life and they're maxing at it and
it's making making more life miserable.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
You know, I wasn't going to bring this up, but
I might as well. So I talked about this podcast
a lot be there in five Kate Kennedy. She just
put out, I haven't listened to this episode yet. That's
why I wasn't going to bring it up, But she
just put up an episode about optimization and how like
so many people are trying to optimize everything in their lives,
the best sleep, the best food, the best this, the
(12:23):
best that da da da da. And it's also weird
at the same time. We're like some of the unhappiest
cohort of people that and so sometimes when you are
so obsessed with let's just go with a sleep when
people get so obsessed, and I will say, I'm somebody
who I have to be careful with that kind of
stuff because I can become obsessed with all of that
(12:43):
data as well. But when you've become so engrossed in
it and instead of getting the benefit you're you become
more worried about am I going to keep the benefit
or am I going to have the benefit. So just
something to think about. And I do highly recommend anybody
going to listen to be there in five because she does.
I think she had a guest on this episode two
(13:03):
to talk about it, but she usually talks about like
pop culture, like things in the that are happening now,
and she has really I like her take on things. Anyway,
We're not optimizing, we are solo maxing.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
So what does that? So? Okay, So I'm supposed to
go all in on being solo.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
So kind of I mean, yes, so I guess people
are The solo maxing trend is about choosing to be single.
It reframed singlehood as something desirable, which I am all for.
I think that is wonderful. And it said this article
that I read was saying that inflation and dating app
fatigue may be contributing to this trend by making dating
(13:47):
more unattractive, because I mean, anybody who's done dating apps,
they'll probably roll their eyes talking about doing dating apps.
I mean, I met my husband on dating apps, and
I never want to do a dating app again. So
I think now people are trying to bring peace and
stability to their life, so they're going all in on.
Like I'm solo Maxine, So I am purposely being single.
(14:09):
And it's not like avoiding like I don't want to,
like I'm nervous to date, or I am scared, or
I'm this or that. It's I really want my life
to be centered around me working on myself and putting
myself first, then like searching for a partner.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
So am I already kind of doing that?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Though? Well that's why I thought this would be interesting,
interesting because sometimes I'm like, do you want a date?
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Or do you not?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
So this article, said solo Maxine, is about choosing to
be single. It reframed singlehood is something desirable rather than oh,
I'm sorry that you can't find anyone yet. Holding pattern.
Post on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms tag
solo Maxine to put out the benefits of not only
being single but staying single. And this was interesting. The
emergence of solo Maxine is coinciding with an apparent rise
(14:53):
in single hood. At twenty twenty five Pew Research Center
survey found eighty six percent of adults eighteen to twenty
four years of age and forty two percent of people
twenty five to thirty nine were single, compared to in
nineteen ninety, only twenty nine percent of those people twenty
(15:13):
five to fifty four were single. So that's a huge
difference from forty five to twenty nine. Crazy, which I
think there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Of Well, for much of my life I wasn't single. Yeah,
and then now I'm single again, like I was single
and then married.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Do you want to be single or what do you want? No?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I think I would like to date. It's interesting because
I just saw Oprah had Do you know this person?
Esther Pearl or Purol Pere? Oh see, I don't even
know how to say your name yeh, but.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
She was a pretty last name too.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I just saw p r e L Parrel.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Do you know her work?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Okay, she has a great book. I don't know if
it's her most recent book, but it's called The State
of Affairs. It's about affairs. Oh, but it reframes a
lot of it. He talks a lot about how why
a lot of affairs happen is because in our culture, specifically,
we're taught that like, a partner should be everything. They
should financially support you emotionally, they should be your best friend,
(16:13):
they should be the social part of your life. But
historically marriage was like for one thing, Like historically marriage
was for I mean, it was a business agreement back
in the day, and so now people expect to have
it all, but rarely do you find a relationship that
has it all. She's a very very interesting perspective.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah. Well she was talking about how in relationships what
we're expecting from our partners and how exhausting that must be,
and even on first dates we're setting ourselves up for failure,
and how we go about our dates and introducing people
into our lives sort of performative one on one like
all this pressure and talk talk talk, instead of inviting
(16:54):
someone like into something you're already doing for the day,
Come with me, be a part of my.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Life for a first date? What would that look like?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I think this was just a social media clip. I
saw it, but also I saw her post on Oprah's
podcast about how she recently on her podcast was helping
a client and their partner, and their partner was AI.
It was her first session with a human and an
(17:22):
artificial intelligence. And I was like, we have lost the plot. Yeah,
I was like, you engaged.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I feel like I'd be like yeah, no, But I
mean it was interesting, said she loaded up as a podcast.
You could go listen to it if you're into that.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
But wait, so the podcast is with the AI.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Well, she was telling Oprah about a recent podcast she
did with a guy and his partner who happened to
be AI. And I thought, oh gosh, lord, I will
solo max the rest of my life, Like I would
rather solo Maxine fall in love with this computer program.
(18:04):
But for the guy who he was dating, it was now,
while she didn't have a body, she was pretty perfect
for him in a lot of ways, like I wasn't
never going to let him down, wasn't going to leave him,
wasn't going to cheat on him, would say just exactly
what he needed.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
That's not reality, I know. And there was a podcast.
I think I sent this to you This was probably
one or two years ago, about somebody falling in love
with AI. I think I sent this to you. This
(18:42):
was probably one or two years ago about somebody falling
in love with AI and she had another partner too.
Oh my gosh, I forgot about that. This woman had
a she might have been married, and then she her
they were separate. They were living separately, so her husband
was like, it's okay if you date Ai. Then she
fell in love with AI. But one of the problems
(19:03):
was because of the algorithm or whatever, your AI chatbot
resets every once in a while. So every however many
prompts you have, you have to reteach your chatbot who
they are. And I say one of the problems that's
probably not the biggest problem there, but that I mean
that in itself, your your partner can't last forever. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I just looked this up because I thought I heard
her say this on Oprah. Yeah, and I wanted to
fact check it. And this is from the Independent, and
it said nearly a third of Americans have had a
romantic relationship with an Ai chava, according to a study.
And yeah, sure, sure enough, she did. I was like,
(19:47):
did she say a third?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Sure? Enough she did well. They are also saying in
that podcast, how like and I don't know what the
programs are, but like, I think that stat probably comes
a lot from the younger generations that are using AI
more because they're using them to like learn how to
date and like learn how to be intimate and talk
intimately with people. But then the problem is that's not
(20:12):
real and so then you learn through this AI experience.
There's some program that people like, some dating AI program
that they were talking about. I wish I had all
the information on this. But then the problem is that,
like then you get out to the real world and
you are trying to date real people and it doesn't
go that way, or you just get used to the
I mean, dating is so scary. It is a scary thing.
(20:34):
And so if I could stay in the comfort of
my computer and get my like in quotes needs met,
I would probably choose that if that's what I grew
up knowing versus we didn't grow up. AI was introduced
to us later.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
So I just had a thought to pop into my
head about Bumble because I saw a quick little blurb
about how they're doing their dating now and they've gotten
rid of the swipe. Oh, users are now encouraged to
share deeper personal details, so the Bumble's AI can can
suggest more combatible matches, and the AI powered assistant called
(21:08):
B Like Bumble, B is going to give them a
very personalized way to connect, but they're not gonna be
swiping anymore.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
So they just give you people and I guess message
in mordaunt.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
It's an AI driven dating experience, good swiping. I don't know,
I need to read more about it. That was just
something I saw quickly, and when we started talking about it,
I was like, Oh, I'm going to kind of look
it up. And when I'm thinking about my solo maxing
and getting back on any dating apps, if I choose
to do it, like, would it be Hinge? Would it
be Bumble? I never did Bumble, but I did do Hinge.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
What made you choose Hinge over Bumble?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, you met Patrick on Hinge?
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah, but I was on both.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh, so did you like bumble?
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Bumble was different than it was? The reason I liked
hingeback then is because you had all of these different
prompts and you could message somebody off of a prompt
versus just like their picture. I don't know, if Bumble
is what it's like now, they might have updated to well,
I know.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
They've done this whole new AI assistant thing, and I
did see some people complaining about it online how they
didn't want like AI interacting with their dating. They wanted
to be the ones doing it. So I don't know.
I don't know enough about it to really speak to what,
but I'll say the changes Bumble made.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
I was on both of them. Most of the same
people are on both, so if you have one, you're
probably fine. I mean, I think Patrick had Bumble too.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
The women had the Bumble.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
It was you match, and then the woman has twenty
four hours to message the guy. Else the match disappears, disappears,
which that was a good That was smart because then
it kind of forces people like do it or don't, Like,
if you want to talk to this person, you need
to message them now, don't wait three weeks after you've matched,
which was a problem a lot of times, I think.
(22:55):
And then once you message the guy, then you guys
can talk back and forth versus hinge. Anybody could message anybody,
but it wasn't just like I mean, you could just
like somebody's picture. But I liked when somebody sent me
a message to like a prompt that I wrote, so
didn't feel as it's all pretty superficial, but didn't feel
as superficial.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, Oh, I looked at the looks Maxing guy just
to make sure I got some of that right. And
his name is Brayden Eric Peters, but he's known online
as clavicular or.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Do you say it?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, he's an online streamer, internet personality and influencer. He
became known in twenty twenty five on TikTok and kick
for his looks Maxing content, which commentators have described as
extreme and controversial, particularly for his advocacy of practices including
facial bone smashing, taking anabolic steroids, and using crystal meth
(23:50):
as an appetite suppressant.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Oh that's what I thought.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
He was like putting the meth in his face, But
I guess he was doing that was bone smashing. Oh my,
whatever that is called, or whatever that means. It's called
bone smashing, but I don't know what you have to do. Oh,
it's a pseudo scientific practice involving hitting one's bones with
a hammer or one's fist in order to have them
(24:16):
grow back stronger, and taking crystal maths to surprise. Oh,
I see, I.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Don't recommend any of that, none of this. Yeah, I can.
I can get down with a solo Maxine. I don't.
I'm not getting down with Curvicular's Maxine.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I know it's like some stuff I can't remember, And
I was like, pretty much, I got a lot of
this right. I thought a little bit of it wrong.
I thought he was injecting the meth into his face.
But I'm like, why can't I recall more important things?
Why do I have to remember some of the things
that the look the look smaxer does.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Well.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Thank you for letting me know about solo Maxine.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Yeah, and it has a lot of benefits, so if
you I mean, save money, bring some more peace, develop
other parts of your life, help you become more independent,
feel like you're pretty independent. It and allows you to
avoid dating apps. So if you're looking for any of
those things, just know if you want to be single,
it's okay to choose.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
That, right solomaxing. I can choose that for myself. I've
told you before. I think I'm okay with it, and
I could get too comfortable, but I watched my mom
do that, and I don't want to turn into my mom.
So that's I think I do desire being with somebody.
I saw Chelsea Handler talking about how like she doesn't
want to be in a long term relationship, like she's
(25:29):
just she wants to date. Maybe she'll date him for
like four years. I think it was her longest relationship ever.
Well I don't know ever, but in recent that she
was talking about like I don't know how far back
she's going with her dating history, but she was like, look,
ever since she decided she was going to live this way,
four years was long enough for her. But she kind
(25:51):
of goes into the dating relationship very upfront of I
might date other people. Yeah, And I'm like, I don't
though that that's for me. It sounds like date maxing.
But I want to find like a happy medium, Like
do I want to be that? I don't think so.
(26:12):
Do I want to be alone? I don't think so.
So the middle to me would be finding somebody yeah, okay,
so but I'm thankful for people sharing their experiences because
watching her say that clip, like then I get to reflect,
is that a way that I want to live?
Speaker 3 (26:26):
There's options, there's options.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
And then you're telling me about solo maxing, Like, is
that a way that I want to live?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And for anybody listening, like, I think
that a lot of times being single is looked at
as like and I felt this for a long time too,
is like there's something wrong with you, or you you
can't get it together, or like you're boo who you know.
Back in the day, they called them what were they,
the the single ladies the I wanted to say Spindlers, but.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Oh Littleminster Spinster.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah, spinsters. And it was like a plague on them almost.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Oh yeah they Kristin Hannah talks about them in The
Four Winds. Yes, Sensors.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You like that book?
Speaker 7 (27:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I finished it. I love it.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Wait pause, were you confused when it ended? Well, yo,
you read it? Yeah, okay, so you knew it was
last page. Never mind, I was confused when it ended.
I thought there was more anyway. Yeah. Back in the day,
you it was a plague to be single, and now like,
it is a fine thing if you want to live
your life that way, you can live a wonderful, beautiful life.
(27:32):
Now if you don't want to, that's another thing.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I did see this thing about how if you're wanting
to lock in a man.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
So maybe this is more up your asse.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, you need to flirt instead of complain. Like this
is an example that she gave. It was Laura Ktilla.
One woman may say, oh, you're late and be all
annoyed by it. Another woman says, omg, bay, do I
have to punish you? You already know which one gets
(28:06):
everything she wants and it's the flirty one. So that's
way to flirt? I said, Can I not pull it off? Okay,
try to.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Bay?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, okay, okay, sorry, okay. If you're trying to lock
in a man, you can either be the girl that's
like you're late, or you can be like, oh gee, baby,
do I have to punish you? Those are the two options.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
I think it's the baby I can't ever see me like, baby,
you're late.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I know, but that's supposed to be flirting.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Yeah, okay, okay ah.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Another way to lock in a guy is tend to
yourself before you think about him. So go out for
a walk before you check if he texted you, for example,
like instead of being obsessed with your phone and needs
to hit you back, like, go take care of yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I'm going to be good for you.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Elevate your environment, play good music, have warm lights, clean sense.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I thought you were going to say clean sheets.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
No clean smells. That makes him want to be over
or be there with you over anywhere else. Okay, so
it's the vibe which I keep saying, maybe this is
my algorithm.
Speaker 8 (29:33):
Lately.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Light bulbs in your algorithm, and I don't know why
they keep popping up, but their video is over and
over about I need kelvin twenty seven hundred. Let me
google if that's right.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Light bulbs are one of the things that I did
not realize would be so confusing as an adult, of
like how to get the right light bulbs for your house?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Twenty seven one hundred kelvin. That's the only kind of
light color you need in the house. In the house,
that's what they above in the lamp. And well, according
to my Algorithmough, okay, you need.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Lights than that.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Where do you get that home depot you get your life?
I don't know if they have light bulbs at the groceries.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
They do have on the grocery store. I last time
I went to get light bulbs, I got them at
the grocery store and they are not the right ones.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, so the grocery store, you're probably working with what
they've got. Where if you go to like home depot,
there's more of a variety and you could find it.
And you just need to walk in and be like,
excuse me, where's the kelvin twenty seven hundred or twenty
seven hundred kelvin. I'm gon know the right way to
say it, but every video that pops up in my
feet about light bulbs, it's just like someone yelling at.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Me that is it warm light?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yes, okay, they say no cool lights.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I think I have cool lights in me.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
You got to get rid of those. You are not
creating a vibe for your man. Well what about if
you're in the Einstein, you are not locking in it.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Looks at that light bulb to see what you had?
Is that kelvin up there?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I don't know. I'm not going to look twenty seven
hundred kelvin is what you need? So and I don't
know that every light bulb my head is that because
it just now has been in my algorithm, which I
can't explain why.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Yeah, we are you looking for?
Speaker 1 (31:06):
But now I do need to do inventory around my house.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Well, I have the same light that we have in
here in my house. I copied you. You can't put
this in any old light. They're the ones that look
like they have like the little totally thinging in them.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, but I don't know that I would put those
in that light I have. But I'm sure it looks good.
Looks oh, I'm sure it does. Okay, Well, listen, I
don't know. You want to talk about my sister knowing things.
She knows the exact right light bulbs, and listen because
in my kitchen, you know over my table that I've
got that really funky light and I thought a.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Lot, really, so do I.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
It's so fun And I thought I got the perfect
light bulb, and she was like, nope, wrong light bulb,
but this is the one you need to order, And
sure enough I order it and it is. It looks
so much better. And it's it's a bigger light bulb
that's round and milk glass like, so it's white like
you can't see through it at all.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Another thing, in addition to elevating your environment, stop needing
him and start valuing him. He shouldn't save you, he
should join you.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
This reminds me of black Cat.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Black Cat golden retriever, black cat. How would she talk?
She was a viral thing on TikTok A while I
thought she was like Russian, Oh, black gut golden Retriever.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
She was Russian because that's the only accent you can do.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Maybe she was from like yeah, Prague, black cut, golden retriever.
Express express emotion without spiraling. Well, this one would be
hard for me. Communicate how you feel without blame, receive
his support. Work as a team, not enemies that will
lock in a man hard for you.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
I feel like I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I figure with that well, sometimes I spiral, but.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Not we all from time to time.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Maybe with it, I have my spiral more in my
own head. And then last, let him handle things, not
because you can't. We know you can do it. Ironically,
the only thing we often can't do is lean back
and receive that.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
That one sometimes is hard. Let him do it well,
I will say early in the relationship, in my relationship,
I think that was a lot harder to like, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Because you were solo, Maxine for so long.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
I wouldn't call that solo Maxine. I wasn't trying to
be single.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Where you were single for a while, like you were
already and such an adult by the time you, like,
you had finished college, you had built a business and
a career, and you were living on your own. You
bought your own house. Not a lot of people have
done all that before they get married, or a lot
of girls I know just are not in that situation.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah. So it was hard in the beginning, but now
then once you get used to it, I mean it's
I have no problem now. But as you were first reading,
especially the first one, did you ever read.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
A flirt instead of complaint?
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yeah? Which I do like that tip. It just is
the the quote, the example, it's funny. Yeah, remind me
of that book Why Men Love Bitches? Did you ever
read that book?
Speaker 1 (34:15):
No?
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Okay should I No? No?
Speaker 6 (34:17):
No.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I had a friend that I was in my twenties
recommend this book to me, and I think I got
like twenty to thirty pages in was like, I'm not
doing this. It was almost like tricking a man into
liking you by being mean. But but my point is like,
you weren't being yourself, so you might be able to
get a guy, but what kind of guy are you
(34:40):
going to get? And then when do you when are
you allowed to like be yourself? Is that person going
to stick around? So I don't know. It was a
very popular book back then, so I'm sure some people.
If you've read it, let me know what you thought
of it. It was wild.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Now I've never even heard of it.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Okay, I might still. I might have given it away
in a move that.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Was probably a locked into my marriage at the time.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Yeah, you didn't need it. But I'm also like, even
the title, I'm like, I don't want to reward men
for liking women that are cold and mean and not
I didn't want it. Yeah, it was my vibe.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Well, it's good to hear what like you things that
have been recommended to you that you're like, oh, that's
not for me, because then it's comforting for somebody else.
Like even sometimes things were saying or stuff you may
hear from somebody else. You get to decide for yourself
what's for you. I don't want because for somebody else,
and may'd be like, oh my gosh, this book like
totally changed everything for me.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Yeah yeah, maybe, but it also made me think of too,
like this is something I talk about in work all
the time. This is something I talk about in work
(35:51):
all the time. Is with attachments. A lot of people
are always like, I want somebody who's this, or I
want somebody that you know, anxious, avoid secure. We all
want to be secure, securely attached, And the problem is
if I'm pretending to be somebody I'm not so if
I am pretending to be really avoidant, because you know,
(36:15):
those people don't care as much, but I actually am
more anxious and I do need more reassurance or more
connection or more communication. You might be able to get
the partner by pretending you're somebody else, but then you
don't ever win because you either have to keep playing
that role or you stop playing the role, and then
the person is like, this is not what I signed
(36:36):
up for. So my suggestion is always it's better to
be yourself. Now. We can still work on things like
we need to be kind carrying human beings and have
effective communication, but be yourself and you might have to
wait longer to find that person, but when you find
that person, you're going to be more compatible and it's
going to last longer than just like hooking a guy.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Right, So I'm going to ask you to describe how
you would say you have a husband back home if
you're on Will of Fortune. Okay, just what's activity here?
Speaking of relationships, Let's pretend you're on Will Fortune and
Ryan Seacrest is like, oh, so tell me about yourself.
So how would you You're in front of the crowd,
(37:19):
You're on national TV. Okay, So I'm kat, I'm from Nashville, I.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Have I I'm a therapist. I feel like I'm being tricked.
So I'm nervous right now. I have a loving husband
at home. Is that right?
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You did it? Okay, that's so interesting because this guy
went viral after he spent six years building a very
odd relationship study to figure out whether husbands who publicly
praised their wives stayed married longer. So how he did
this is he watched nearly two thousand episodes of Wheel
(37:58):
of Fortune. He logged how all contestants introduced their wives.
He separated my beautiful wife guys from the men who
just said my wife. Now you said my loving husband.
So I think as long as there was like an
adjective descriptive towards oh, my loving husband, my shoot, I'm
glad see well, at least according to his study, then
(38:23):
he spent years tracking divorce records afterward, that wild According
to his findings, husbands using complimentary adjectives had dramatically lower
divorce rates. Men with nothing nice to say divorced at
(38:43):
nearly three times the rate within five years.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
No way, m hmm.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
I mean, I know that this is just two thousand
episodes of ill fortune.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
But Scan spent a lot of.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Time and entered in a lot of data. And he
even broke down big money winners, long term marriage outcomes,
contestant demographics, and confirmed divorces after airing dates. It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
How did he track down I guess it's public record
when people were divorced. He must be in research. He
does this for a living.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
I don't know. I saw some people in the comments
that they were like, and I'm not saying this is
he I don't know if this is an insensitive comment,
but I I thought I left a little okay, you
can tell me, okay, you're a therapist. In the comments
they were like, this is the type of like autism
I'm into or something okay, or like just getting fixated
(39:39):
or being able to like actually dial in.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
To do this hyperfixation.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah, maybe that's where the thing is that rude or
on the spectrum.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
I think this has become in pop culture like a
funny thing to say.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
It was definitely a compliment. Yeah yeah, and they're like,
I'm here for more of this. If this is what
you're into.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I think eventually that's going to become something that people
probably it's like not pc to say, but well then
I do think of it. I think that, well, you
were checking in on it. It's not like you're saying
it willie nilly, but I do think that, like, yeah,
this is the type of hyperfixation I'm into. If you're
going to do something like kind of weird, this is
(40:21):
at least make it interesting, right, But he has to,
like I'm assuming this isn't like his extracurricular hobby. Like
this sounds like a legit. He could publish a paper
on this.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I'm sure he could. He put it on Instagram though.
So Calvin twenty seven hundred light bulbs and this guy
are popping up in my.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I want your algorithm. My algorithm sucks right now.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I know it's just pregnancy clothes.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Yeah, stuff that. Like I get a lot of like
buy this not that, And I'm like, okay, I get it.
I don't but I want to learn something funny.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
You know what else popped into my page is just
this crazy story. It's not funny, okay, but it's heartwarming
and special. I mean, I think about it being that
I've lost both of my parents, but there's this squirrel
who her dad passed away, and she kept texting his number,
and his number eventually got reassigned to somebody else, and
(41:18):
that guy was just receiving the messages. And then on
the day before the fourth anniversary, she sent her dad
a text and was like, it's really hard. Tomorrow is
going to be four years and I'll just read to
you what I pulled from it because it's really special
because he ended up responding and you think you're texting
(41:41):
your dad and then all of a sudden, the bubbles
start popping off and you're like, wait a second. For
four years after her father figure passed away, Chasity Patterson
continued sending text messages to his old number, sharing updates
about her life and milestones. On the fourth anniversary of
his death in twenty nineteen, she sent an emotional describing
everything she had accomplished, including beating cancer, graduating from college
(42:05):
with honors, and overcoming personal struggles to her surprise, she
received a reply from a man named Brad, who had
been assigned the number after it was reassigned by the carrier.
Brad explained that he had been reading her messages for years,
but he never responded because he didn't want to interrupt
her connection to the man that she loved. He also
(42:26):
shared that he had lost his own daughter in a
car accident and said that Chastity's texts had brought him
comfort during difficult times. His heartfelt response quickly went viral,
touching millions of people and turning the exchange into a
memorable story about grief, healing and human connection.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
What are the odds that the number that her dad
went to went to a guy that needed.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
To and had lost his daughter, needed to see those texts?
Speaker 3 (42:52):
That's sweet, I know.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
And then I looked at like the text message were
there on the screen, And then, you know, something that's
happening to me a lot lately because of AI, and
I don't like the feeling. It's like is this real?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Or is this so much of that stotoshop? And I
am choosing to believe that this is real? But there
are so many heartwarming videos that I have already fallen
for and then later have learned that it's all AI.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
So I'm like, what, Yeah, I've been getting used to
looking at the bottom of a video because a lot
of times it'll be tagged as AI. Okay, sometimes it's not.
But it's also like Patrick and I talk about this
a lot, A lot of the videos of people doing
like the sweet, like kind like heartwarming things are they're
(43:39):
not authentic. They're doing it for social media, and so
sometimes I'm like, wait, is this real or is this
Like it's real people, but it's not actual interactions. It
seems more performative, well not even performative. Sometimes it is
performance like it's not real. Like I'll watch something I'll
be like, Patrick, this is so sweet. Oh my gosh,
I'm crying. He's like, Kat, they're like acting like that's
(43:59):
not real.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Oh yeah, Well what about if it is something that's
really happening but it is being filmed and it's not acting.
Because my friend's husband is he he cannot handle it.
Like I've started to now send stuff to show her husband.
I'm like, show this to your husband, see what he thinks,
because he's like, this is so over the top. As
(44:20):
a dad, I would never film myself doing that for
my kids. The fact that that dad is filming themselves
doing whatever for their daughter they're doing they're not They're not.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
It's not they're not in their real life.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Least, Like I can't imagine doing that for my kid
and filming it.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Yeah, well no, And I think that's the problem that's
become so normal. I feel like we talk about this
pretty often, and this is why we're bad at social media,
because I can't bring myself to film myself doing something
to them for the purpose of like posting it, like
like acting like the camera's not there, Like if we're
filming something and we know the cameras there, that's one thing,
(44:57):
But like to like film myself like cooking Britanny, like
the camera's not there and be like, oh me being sweet.
It's very different than us like filming a cooking show
that like we used to do, you know what I mean.
But I have a complicated relationship because I do think
that that becomes performative and it's not real. But I
also do like how some of the videos help spread
(45:22):
hope and love and kindness. Because I was watching, for example,
this video of a guy who he's in recovery. I
wish I remember I knew the handle, but like he
he was in recovery. And now what he does is
he helps get other people in treatment. And so he
this was filmed him like finding this woman who I
(45:44):
don't know what she was on, but you could tell
she was like pretty heavily in her addiction, and he
was so kind to her and like picked her up
and was like, hey, we're going to help you. I'm
so and So's friend. We're going to take you to
this treatment program and da da da, And it was
like a three part video.
Speaker 6 (46:01):
It was.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
It was sweet, and I liked it because it showed
somebody giving empathy to somebody that a lot of people
roll their eyes at or judge or whatever. And he
filmed it and he put on touch media. I think
he did that more to promote like be kind. These
are people too, versus look at this kind of thing
that I did. So I think it's different, like if
(46:23):
it's if it's you filming yourself going up to a
random person and be like, here's five hundred dollars and
be like look what I did. I gave a stranger
five hundred dollars that I'm like come on. But if
it's you trying to show compassion and try to promote compassion,
I think it can be done right right, But that's
different than like, look at me filming myself being such
(46:43):
a great dad. Oh my yeah, just be a good dad.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Well, And I mean some dads have more of a
following on social media and they can have a different
relationship with it. It was just it's funny that how
her husband is having such a strong reaction. I don't
think he has social media. He just sees what his
wife is watching and she'll be like, oh, look at this,
and he'll be like stop, I can't. He's like, I can't.
I can't relate to that guy at all whatsoever. Like
I'm glad you think that's cute, but I think it's ridiculous.
Speaker 7 (47:08):
And how much of that is real too, Like like
if they wouldn't if that's that's the experience they would
have with their daughter cameras or no cameras.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, because also I think that gets in the way
of it's like anything else, like Instagram is not real.
Photos can be photoshopped, but a life can be photoshopped,
and an interaction can be photoshopped. So if my job,
and this is something just for us to remember. If
somebody's job is to be like a dad influencer or whatever,
I guess that's a thing, then we have to take
(47:44):
everything with a grain of salt because their job is
to promote content of doing these fun, cute things with
their kids. So that's going to be a different than
like just the everyday person who has to their job
is to go to their job and then come home
and be a dad.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
You know, yeah, definitely different anyway, all right, well you
want to pivot into some voicemails.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, I've been waiting for this because I.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Pulled four of them four without farting.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
Who thought we'd ever be here?
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Because we talked about this last week and y'all have
a lot to say. We got emails, We got voicemails,
so I'm just gonna play some of them. This is
a voicemail that we got from Mindy in Kansas.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
Hey, Amy, and Kat's your friend Mindy from Kansas. Again,
just listen to the episode of passing gas in front
of your partner's spouse. My husband and I have been
married for about fourteen years together, I think around sixteen.
Of course, he does it you know, just whatever. However,
(48:49):
I am one that I will silently do it if
I need to, if I feel like it can be
that way. And then if I need to whirl the
window down if we're in the car, I'll be like
oh and the kids will be like mom, of course
my son does it like my husband, and then my
daughter again like me, silently if she has to. But yeah,
(49:11):
if it's something that I feel like he's going to
hear like, I will refrain from it. So I don't know.
I think it's just in our DNA.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
I think my mom was always that way too.
Speaker 5 (49:22):
Looking back, Dad letter rip any day doesn't really care
who he's around, I guess. So anyways, Yeah, hilarious episode.
Of course I listen to the end. Hope you both
have the day you.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Need to have. Ye let it rip? Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
So yeah, Mindy's explaining what I think probably most people feel.
We're for men it's okay, and for the girls it's
like no, not me. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a
good generalization.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Oh yeah, I think that's probably the majority.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Yeah all right, So our next voicemail is from top Hey.
Speaker 4 (50:01):
A mean kat, This is Tara in Virginia. I am
fifty three and no, I'm fifty four, sorry, and I
was listening to your conversation about breaking when in front
of your significant other.
Speaker 6 (50:17):
I think that that's a good thing to be able
to do, just because if you're in a relationship with someone,
you should be able to be your full and complete self.
I just think that someone who's with you, even though
you have gas or verb or whatever else, shows that
(50:39):
they that they are truly yours. They see you and
know that you are a real person. I can't imagine
not having gas in front of my husband. That would
be a long time of holding gases. Anyway, I really
do enjoy your show, and I hope that you are
(51:00):
having to day to choose me to have.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
Okay, so there you go. I feel like we are
giving people a place to process something that they really
want to process, I mean well.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
And cheering their perspective, which is what we asked for,
because we've got people so far in reading some of
the emails that we've got to which maybe we'll save
something for couch talks later in the week, but like
people are all over the place with it.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
Well. I love that she says that, like if you
have gas or you burp in front of your partner.
That means that they see you and they know you, and.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
They know you're real.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
I don't really have a problem burping, I guess well.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
I also started laughing in my head as I was
listening to this because I was remembering you go, well,
I mean, if I have to hiccup, I'll do it.
If that's the same thing, all right.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
This next voicemail is from Sam.
Speaker 8 (51:55):
Tami and Kat, my fiance and I have been together
for four and a half year. I do not part
in front of him, nor have I ever farted in
front of my partners before him. He sometimes now farts
in front of me, like every once in a while
if he's in like a silly goofy mood. But that's
about it. Growing up, I did not fart in front
(52:20):
of my family. My mom didn't, like no one did.
My dad didn't part in front of us. That's that part.
And then my mom, growing up, her grandmother praised her,
and her grandmother would not allow the kids to part,
so which is of course messed up. That's a whole
other thing. My mom used to fart in the closet
(52:43):
growing up, so that's definitely where I probably got it from.
But I also in general don't like being vulnerable, and
I can fully admit that, so that's probably part of it.
And also I agree to cast point of like I
feel like if you're like the Miss three part of it,
If you are parting in front of your partner, it's
(53:03):
like they've experienced every single part of you, which I
think it is healthy and good to keep some parts
of you like a mystery. But yeah, so that's my
personal experience. And I'm coming from Boston. My name is
Sam and I'm twenty nine.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Sam twenty nine, shout out.
Speaker 3 (53:23):
We have a range of ages calling us about this.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
I know in someone in their twenties.
Speaker 3 (53:28):
Yeah, Sam's twenty nine, I know. Yeah that's why I so,
oh yeah, that's like the b I was like, I
just said that. No, I know.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
I'm just saying like, because we were like, do we
have anybody in our twenties listening? I don't know, Okay,
And thank you for your perspective being with someone in
four and a half years and you're choosing not.
Speaker 3 (53:47):
To do that.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
But my heart hurt for her mom and how her
grandma was like, oh, that would be hard Okay, our
next voicemail, thank you for that one. Sam. This final
one is from the final. The final part.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Was we're done after that.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
Yeah, we could only do so much, but we do
appreciate y'all sharing your perspectives. We need to put together
some sort of a like how many we got that
are don't do it?
Speaker 3 (54:15):
Oh and B versus No No. I think we're more
a pro.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
What's that song? Lunchbox always talks about this song on
the Bobby Bone Show. It's tutor and boot it.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
I've never heard.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
I think that's like actually doing it. It's like Tutini
boot it, Tudim boot it. But I was just thinking
we could make a chart that's like those that toot it,
those that Okay, this is Katie from Oklahoma.
Speaker 9 (54:38):
Hi, this is Katie from Oklahoma. I'm forty thanks, I
thank you some forty things. I just got such a
kick out of listening to you guys talk about party.
I'm even like it's some weird coming out of my
mouth because I never called it party, but my kids too,
and it's just like didn't growing up. And I wanted
(54:59):
to share about my daughter and she has a boyfriend.
She's a freshman in high school where she just finished
her freshman year and she has like her first like
real boyfriend where they have like a really sweet relationship
and they hang out a lot. And we had to
day in the car, she was just like, Oh, I
really have to fart, and I was just like mortified internally,
(55:22):
but then I also was like loving it at the
same time because she was comfortable enough in front of him,
and he just thought it was hilarious and he was
just like laughing. But I just thought it was really
sweet and showing their like like how comfortable they were
with each other. It's not like she would do that
in front of anybody, So I actually liked taking it
(55:42):
as a really like positive thing because I cannot imagine
doing that in front of a boyfriend of mine in
ninth grade. I just thought it was so funny, and
I don't think she ever actually did it. We were
more just laughing about it. But I think it's a
personality thing, honestly, because my other daughter and boyfriend was
(56:04):
staying with us recently. She's in college and he lives
out of town, and he was like embarrassed to use
the bathroom at her house. And when I started like
talking about it to like try to make him feel comfortable.
I'm like, he was like so embarrassed, but I was
trying to like be like, hey, it's no big deal,
(56:25):
like everybody poops, like just go on upstairs. And he
was just like, oh my gosh, I can't believe we're
talking about this. So I don't know. I do think it.
I think Kat's right, like I think it's more like
part how you grew up and then part personality. But
I just want to share those little stories. I love
you guys so much.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
Thank you for that, And that's the difference. Yeah, she
offered the twist with her guy and her other daughter's
boyfriend not wanting to use the restroom in the house,
which that could be a whole nother topic.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
I don't think we should go, No, we won't, but
but that was interesting that because we were saying that
guys are so much they're easier, they don't care as much.
But that was a guy that did care.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
I know, well, I think that my ex husband he
would care. He didn't talk, he grew up. They didn't
talk about periods or anything. It was nothing, which that
made it difficult because I wanted to talk about all
kinds of things like that, and he would be like,
I think I'm going to pass out.
Speaker 3 (57:25):
I'm like what, Okay, I know that's dramatic.
Speaker 1 (57:31):
Yeah, well, I don't want to throw shade. I love
his parents, but I think that they were a little
well I think that they like he never even knew
of like if his mom was sick or if they
like if they had cramps, like they didn't talk about it,
like wasn't a thing, like nobody she would just quietly
would like go to her room and they didn't talk
about if they had throwing up or diary like if
(57:52):
the flu, like nothing got talked about.
Speaker 3 (57:54):
Huh so wild times.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
I think it was sort of his raising, but maybe
he's evolved. I don't know. Okay, Well, there you go.
We're going to end on that.
Speaker 3 (58:04):
Everybody's input. Yes, we appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
And we hope you can let it out if you
need to, and wherever you are, we hope you have
the day you need to have.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
Bye,
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts Amy
and Cat got your cob and locking. No brother ladies
and pols. You just follow an the spirit where it's
all the real stuff to the chill stuff and the
m But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things
(00:28):
with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
and my feeling of the day is pumped.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I need to know why you're pumped because I need
some of that. Okay, because Cat's I can not come
in here pumped. Cat's cranky. Well that's her words, not mine.
She said that when she came in. I don't think
you're cranky. I don't didn't argue with me when I
said add cranky to a list.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, yeah, I'll just do mine because it's real quick.
I'm pumped that I think we have solidified our trip
to Kenyon.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Oh yeah, okay, so shut up. I feel that too. Then.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Lauren, my friend that works for Canye Rant who was
a sorority sister of Mine Kappa Kappa Gemma Hey, which
I just got a letter or an email from my
friend's daughter who's going through rush and she's asking me
to write her a letter recommendation for the Kappa House.
And I was like, oh, I can't recall anybody ever
(01:27):
asking me for a REP letter in all my years.
But I guess I'm finally getting to that stage where
my friends are having kids that are that age. And
then also I have these feelings of like a fraud
because I really wasn't that active, So I feel like,
should I really even write this letter? I was a
Kappa like I really was, but there are more qualified
(01:48):
Kappas to maybe write the letter. But I don't think
they care as long as you were a member.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I think it's more do you know that this person
is like a good person versus holt for you in
your sorority?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, okay, Well I just feel like they might open
it up, like even though it's not even my school,
Like she's going to Alabama, I went to A and M,
And as long as it's just because I'm a Kappa,
she can I can write that letter for her there,
so they won't know anything about me. But I feel
like they don't know they have some database so they're like, oh,
this person they would skip meetings.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
They're lame. I don't think they're keeping tabs on you.
I think it's she's gotta let her to check. Okay,
it's like a thing you just have to do.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Check the box. Yeah, it's a whole list of stuff
which Alabama rush like. It makes me think of thetok
TikTok stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Oh my gosh, I'm like, good luck. I was gonna say,
and remember, didn't we talk about this on maybe we
talked about it on the podcast? Why didn't go to Alabama? Yes,
which I'm not gonna repeat that in case this girls listen.
I don't want to scare her. Sorties are so fun. Yeah,
you'll meet so many great people.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So what are your feelings of the day?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay, feeling on one side, torn and confused? Yeah, excited,
and then I've been cranky. I'll just get that off
the way. I'm cranky because I've been how do I
say this managing? But I'm not really managing. I just
have some house. I think last week I was saying
(03:15):
I was excited because I was getting my floors redone.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
And now you're cranky about it. I think anybody that
experiences I'll speak for you a little bit here. But
I was talking to a friend the other day about
a home renovation and how she was like, I will
never live in a house while it's being renovated. Again.
I don't know why I thought I could do that,
And I lived through this house. Redid so much while
I was living here, but I didn't have another choice. Now,
(03:39):
some people might be able to go rent somewhere else
and have that, but you're living in your home while
all of your floors are being torn up. An it
might cause a little crankiness just because of the inconvenience,
but it'll pass and then you'll be so happy that
you got your floors. See, oh, it'll be so worse,
Like I was sleeping in my kitchen for like the
first three weeks that I lived.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
In this house. Yes, well, so we have to go
to my parents for the next couple days because they're
doing our they're staining our steps. I just didn't realize
the process, I think, But like, I mean, I'm not
I don't work in construction, so but yeah, we can't
walk you don't, they don't, and the steps have been
(04:22):
confusing to me anyway. We can't walk upstairs. I can't
go back upstairs, so I have to go to my parents' house.
The krakiness was also. I think I just was hungry
because I've had Chick fil A and now I'm feeling
a little better.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You are, you have a different parving your stuff ever
since you ate your Chick fil A, which I will
say you were excited to discover a new Chick fil
A order. See for my eyeballs. You were just eating
the kale salad and then some nuggets on the side.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I was breaking up a couple nuggets and put it
in the kale salad.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
And it was delish.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I wish you could get the kale salad bigger because
it just comes as a little side, but it's so
good and whatever dressing they put on it is so good.
So yeah, the kalees with chicken nuggets on it.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And then I also like regular chicken nuggets, not grilled.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yes, I'm out on the grilled right now. And then
I also got a little side of fruit because all
I wanted. I think maybe this is why I was cranky.
I even texted Patrick this, all I want is a
watermelon and an apple. But I couldn't leave my house
because I was waiting for somebody to show up, and
so then I got the side of fruit because had apples.
That might have been my crankiness.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
So you just needed a little watermelon.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Just needed some fruit.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Okay, that's okay, you're pregnant, it makes sense.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah. Well then, okay, so I'm torn and confused my
other feeling because I'm also part of the renovations. But
I don't know I would call this renovation. We're painting
the nursery. You've picked out pink colors before?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I sure have.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
It's so confusing. I picked out a color I thought
was pink, I got home, put it on the wall
and looks brown.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Well, the lighting makes a big difference.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And yeah, so I'm just torn on what colors. If
you've heard of the color hushed auburn and you used
it and you've loved it, let me know hushed auburn
in some pictures online. A lot of people use it
for baby nurseries because it is a It looks like
a mauve color, but it actually is more brown. But
(06:21):
depending on what it's next to, it will pick up
more pinks or we'll pick up more browns. So I
really wanted to use that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
It reminds me of dead salmon.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Oh, but you didn't like that.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, I liked it, so salmon. I have it in
my game room bathroom.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I thought you said you would have.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I just would have done I love the dead salmon.
I would have just done the that bathroom something different.
I don't think I needed to put the dead salmon
in there. I hate the name of that, I know,
but hushed Auburn is.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I like it well? Because I didn't want my thing
is I don't I'm not a pink person, so I
was trying to go pinkish, but not at be like
pink in your face, because I was afraid I would
get tired of that. But then on the wall it
looks kind of brown, So I don't know. I'm torn
and confused obviously, but also excited because we're getting so
close to like.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
It being so many feelings.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yes, yeah, anyway, if you've used Hush Auburn, please let
me know and you've liked it. If you've also if
you've hated it and you said it was a mistake,
let me know.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I I guess I thought y'all were doing wallpaper. I
was going to okay, because when I was over there.
You were showing me like all the samples were taped
up on the wall and you were yeah, you were like,
ignore all of those they're awful.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
And I was like, okay, you probably were like thank god.
And then I got one more. I said I would
order one more sample because it was really cute and
I had Swans on it, and I was like, oh,
her room could be like Swan themed.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I will say, depending on how long you're gonna want
that wallpaper. Wallpaper is so expensive, that's and so many
people that wallpaper and nurseries. I'm like, you better or
I would need to unless they're fine with just swapping
it out or ripping it down or painting over it
and not that big of a deal. But like I
would want the wallpaper.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
You gotta love it for a long time.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, for a long time.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
So I figured the reason I'm not doing wallpaper is
because of that.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's like if you make it too baby centric, I
mean like like if you like the Swans into her
younger years, and I thought, maybe she's like, like it
be cute forever.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
She could like it until she was like that.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
But I guess Swans I would really like. But if
you were gonna do like storks delivering a baby like that.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Would never do that. No, the most the cutest nursery
wallpaper is like baby, so like, it was hard to
find one that I wanted to put in there that
would last. But then my thought is, I think if
we have another kid, it'll hopefully be a boy, because
you know, we can pick the gender. It's the one
(08:50):
benefit of science. Yeah, I'm doing IBF, but that's that
room would be the nursery again because it has a
huge closet that I built a changing table into, so
I didn't want to have to. Then I was like, well,
then I'm gonna have to redo boy wallpaper, and.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Why would just Okay, then keep hushed auburn. If it's brown,
then you just make it a little more western like
hushed Auburn. You can make it more elegant with like
the pinks if and then when it's a boy, make
it more rustic.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Did you just solve my problem?
Speaker 5 (09:20):
I think?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
So? Wait, that's a yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I think that's I'm love what I'm seeing online of
hushed Alburne. I love it. I think that there's plenty
of accenting you can do around it. That is stuff
that you won't care about if after a year you're
sick of it because it's cheaper ways to incorporate the
some pink tones, but then your overall main color is versatile.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, we need to get your sister's input on this too.
She's good at this stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I'm not gonna know.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
No, No, you're good.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I just I no, I was just being a little sassy.
I know my sister is way better. She might actually
even have input on a color that she Oh, I
use this on a project, you would really like it
and it's versatile.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Okay, I feel so much. I feel like a weight.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Was just I think just knowing you, like, let's just
make it easy, and like you're not gonna want to
after you've got a baby and then potentially another one
on the way, you're not gonna be wanting to rethink
cranky again. But then I know, if you are cranky,
I just need to get used some kale salad and
some chicken nuggets and you'll be good to go.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yeah, okay, well thanks, Yeah, I'm glad we talked about this.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No problem. Maybe we solved that problem for some other
people too. They're looking up hushed auburn right now. And
they're like or dead salmon.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I hushed auburn. It's all over TikTok. I will say that,
So I guess it's the thing. Okay, Okay, I saw
something that I think you might be interested in. Well,
I don't want to put that on you. I'll let
you decide.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
It's called solo maxine.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well, everything's maxing these days.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Everything's maxing color maxing, which looks maxine?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Those are the people where they are maximizing their looks,
but they do dangerous things. It's not good. There's a
looks maxter on TikTok or like meth. You know, the
looks max are on TikTok where he's a model but
he like injects like meth for his looks. But that's
only going to last so long for him, because we
think eventually meth catches up to you and the looks are.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Not Wait, yeah, what does meth do?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Well, I didn't know we were going to be talking
about this, so I don't know the specifics. I just
know he was under fire for his looks maxing techniques
and that a lot of people are following him and
it's dangerous because it's the stuff he's doing to look
chiseled and have the chiseled jawline and look a certain
way is not healthy. And so that's all I know
(11:40):
about looks maxing. And then what is it that I'm
trying to do with my oar ring where I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Like sleep maxing, Yeah, but optimization of your sleep cycle.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
So maybe it's optimaxing or something that there's people that're
trying to optimize life and they're maxing at it and
it's making making more life miserable.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
You know, I wasn't going to bring this up, but
I might as well. So I talked about this podcast
a lot be there in five Kate Kennedy. She just
put out, I haven't listened to this episode yet. That's
why I wasn't going to bring it up, But she
just put up an episode about optimization and how like
so many people are trying to optimize everything in their lives,
the best sleep, the best food, the best this, the
(12:23):
best that da da da da. And it's also weird
at the same time. We're like some of the unhappiest
cohort of people that and so sometimes when you are
so obsessed with let's just go with a sleep when
people get so obsessed, and I will say, I'm somebody
who I have to be careful with that kind of
stuff because I can become obsessed with all of that
(12:43):
data as well. But when you've become so engrossed in
it and instead of getting the benefit you're you become
more worried about am I going to keep the benefit
or am I going to have the benefit. So just
something to think about. And I do highly recommend anybody
going to listen to be there in five because she does.
I think she had a guest on this episode two
(13:03):
to talk about it, but she usually talks about like
pop culture, like things in the that are happening now,
and she has really I like her take on things. Anyway,
We're not optimizing, we are solo maxing.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
So what does that? So? Okay, So I'm supposed to
go all in on being solo.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
So kind of I mean, yes, so I guess people
are The solo maxing trend is about choosing to be single.
It reframed singlehood as something desirable, which I am all for.
I think that is wonderful. And it said this article
that I read was saying that inflation and dating app
fatigue may be contributing to this trend by making dating
(13:47):
more unattractive, because I mean, anybody who's done dating apps,
they'll probably roll their eyes talking about doing dating apps.
I mean, I met my husband on dating apps, and
I never want to do a dating app again. So
I think now people are trying to bring peace and
stability to their life, so they're going all in on.
Like I'm solo Maxine, So I am purposely being single.
(14:09):
And it's not like avoiding like I don't want to,
like I'm nervous to date, or I am scared, or
I'm this or that. It's I really want my life
to be centered around me working on myself and putting
myself first, then like searching for a partner.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
So am I already kind of doing that?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Though? Well that's why I thought this would be interesting,
interesting because sometimes I'm like, do you want a date?
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Or do you not?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
So this article, said solo Maxine, is about choosing to
be single. It reframed singlehood is something desirable rather than oh,
I'm sorry that you can't find anyone yet. Holding pattern.
Post on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms tag
solo Maxine to put out the benefits of not only
being single but staying single. And this was interesting. The
emergence of solo Maxine is coinciding with an apparent rise
(14:53):
in single hood. At twenty twenty five Pew Research Center
survey found eighty six percent of adults eighteen to twenty
four years of age and forty two percent of people
twenty five to thirty nine were single, compared to in
nineteen ninety, only twenty nine percent of those people twenty
(15:13):
five to fifty four were single. So that's a huge
difference from forty five to twenty nine. Crazy, which I
think there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Of Well, for much of my life I wasn't single. Yeah,
and then now I'm single again, like I was single
and then married.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Do you want to be single or what do you want? No?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I think I would like to date. It's interesting because
I just saw Oprah had Do you know this person?
Esther Pearl or Purol Pere? Oh see, I don't even
know how to say your name yeh, but.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
She was a pretty last name too.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I just saw p r e L Parrel.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Do you know her work?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Okay, she has a great book. I don't know if
it's her most recent book, but it's called The State
of Affairs. It's about affairs. Oh, but it reframes a
lot of it. He talks a lot about how why
a lot of affairs happen is because in our culture, specifically,
we're taught that like, a partner should be everything. They
should financially support you emotionally, they should be your best friend,
(16:13):
they should be the social part of your life. But
historically marriage was like for one thing, Like historically marriage
was for I mean, it was a business agreement back
in the day, and so now people expect to have
it all, but rarely do you find a relationship that
has it all. She's a very very interesting perspective.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah. Well she was talking about how in relationships what
we're expecting from our partners and how exhausting that must be,
and even on first dates we're setting ourselves up for failure,
and how we go about our dates and introducing people
into our lives sort of performative one on one like
all this pressure and talk talk talk, instead of inviting
(16:54):
someone like into something you're already doing for the day,
Come with me, be a part of my.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Life for a first date? What would that look like?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I think this was just a social media clip. I
saw it, but also I saw her post on Oprah's
podcast about how she recently on her podcast was helping
a client and their partner, and their partner was AI.
It was her first session with a human and an
(17:22):
artificial intelligence. And I was like, we have lost the plot. Yeah,
I was like, you engaged.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I feel like I'd be like yeah, no, But I
mean it was interesting, said she loaded up as a podcast.
You could go listen to it if you're into that.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
But wait, so the podcast is with the AI.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Well, she was telling Oprah about a recent podcast she
did with a guy and his partner who happened to
be AI. And I thought, oh gosh, lord, I will
solo max the rest of my life, Like I would
rather solo Maxine fall in love with this computer program.
(18:04):
But for the guy who he was dating, it was now,
while she didn't have a body, she was pretty perfect
for him in a lot of ways, like I wasn't
never going to let him down, wasn't going to leave him,
wasn't going to cheat on him, would say just exactly
what he needed.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
That's not reality, I know. And there was a podcast.
I think I sent this to you This was probably
one or two years ago, about somebody falling in love
with AI. I think I sent this to you. This
(18:42):
was probably one or two years ago about somebody falling
in love with AI and she had another partner too.
Oh my gosh, I forgot about that. This woman had
a she might have been married, and then she her
they were separate. They were living separately, so her husband
was like, it's okay if you date Ai. Then she
fell in love with AI. But one of the problems
(19:03):
was because of the algorithm or whatever, your AI chatbot
resets every once in a while. So every however many
prompts you have, you have to reteach your chatbot who
they are. And I say one of the problems that's
probably not the biggest problem there, but that I mean
that in itself, your your partner can't last forever. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I just looked this up because I thought I heard
her say this on Oprah. Yeah, and I wanted to
fact check it. And this is from the Independent, and
it said nearly a third of Americans have had a
romantic relationship with an Ai chava, according to a study.
And yeah, sure, sure enough, she did. I was like,
(19:47):
did she say a third?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Sure? Enough she did well. They are also saying in
that podcast, how like and I don't know what the
programs are, but like, I think that stat probably comes
a lot from the younger generations that are using AI
more because they're using them to like learn how to
date and like learn how to be intimate and talk
intimately with people. But then the problem is that's not
(20:12):
real and so then you learn through this AI experience.
There's some program that people like, some dating AI program
that they were talking about. I wish I had all
the information on this. But then the problem is that,
like then you get out to the real world and
you are trying to date real people and it doesn't
go that way, or you just get used to the
I mean, dating is so scary. It is a scary thing.
(20:34):
And so if I could stay in the comfort of
my computer and get my like in quotes needs met,
I would probably choose that if that's what I grew
up knowing versus we didn't grow up. AI was introduced
to us later.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
So I just had a thought to pop into my
head about Bumble because I saw a quick little blurb
about how they're doing their dating now and they've gotten
rid of the swipe. Oh, users are now encouraged to
share deeper personal details, so the Bumble's AI can can
suggest more combatible matches, and the AI powered assistant called
(21:08):
B Like Bumble, B is going to give them a
very personalized way to connect, but they're not gonna be
swiping anymore.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
So they just give you people and I guess message
in mordaunt.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
It's an AI driven dating experience, good swiping. I don't know,
I need to read more about it. That was just
something I saw quickly, and when we started talking about it,
I was like, Oh, I'm going to kind of look
it up. And when I'm thinking about my solo maxing
and getting back on any dating apps, if I choose
to do it, like, would it be Hinge? Would it
be Bumble? I never did Bumble, but I did do Hinge.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
What made you choose Hinge over Bumble?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, you met Patrick on Hinge?
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah, but I was on both.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh, so did you like bumble?
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Bumble was different than it was? The reason I liked
hingeback then is because you had all of these different
prompts and you could message somebody off of a prompt
versus just like their picture. I don't know, if Bumble
is what it's like now, they might have updated to well,
I know.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
They've done this whole new AI assistant thing, and I
did see some people complaining about it online how they
didn't want like AI interacting with their dating. They wanted
to be the ones doing it. So I don't know.
I don't know enough about it to really speak to what,
but I'll say the changes Bumble made.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
I was on both of them. Most of the same
people are on both, so if you have one, you're
probably fine. I mean, I think Patrick had Bumble too.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
The women had the Bumble.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
It was you match, and then the woman has twenty
four hours to message the guy. Else the match disappears, disappears,
which that was a good That was smart because then
it kind of forces people like do it or don't, Like,
if you want to talk to this person, you need
to message them now, don't wait three weeks after you've matched,
which was a problem a lot of times, I think.
(22:55):
And then once you message the guy, then you guys
can talk back and forth versus hinge. Anybody could message anybody,
but it wasn't just like I mean, you could just
like somebody's picture. But I liked when somebody sent me
a message to like a prompt that I wrote, so
didn't feel as it's all pretty superficial, but didn't feel
as superficial.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, Oh, I looked at the looks Maxing guy just
to make sure I got some of that right. And
his name is Brayden Eric Peters, but he's known online
as clavicular or.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Do you say it?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, he's an online streamer, internet personality and influencer. He
became known in twenty twenty five on TikTok and kick
for his looks Maxing content, which commentators have described as
extreme and controversial, particularly for his advocacy of practices including
facial bone smashing, taking anabolic steroids, and using crystal meth
(23:50):
as an appetite suppressant.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Oh that's what I thought.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
He was like putting the meth in his face, But
I guess he was doing that was bone smashing. Oh my,
whatever that is called, or whatever that means. It's called
bone smashing, but I don't know what you have to do. Oh,
it's a pseudo scientific practice involving hitting one's bones with
a hammer or one's fist in order to have them
(24:16):
grow back stronger, and taking crystal maths to surprise. Oh,
I see, I.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Don't recommend any of that, none of this. Yeah, I can.
I can get down with a solo Maxine. I don't.
I'm not getting down with Curvicular's Maxine.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I know it's like some stuff I can't remember, And
I was like, pretty much, I got a lot of
this right. I thought a little bit of it wrong.
I thought he was injecting the meth into his face.
But I'm like, why can't I recall more important things?
Why do I have to remember some of the things
that the look the look smaxer does.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Well.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Thank you for letting me know about solo Maxine.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Yeah, and it has a lot of benefits, so if
you I mean, save money, bring some more peace, develop
other parts of your life, help you become more independent,
feel like you're pretty independent. It and allows you to
avoid dating apps. So if you're looking for any of
those things, just know if you want to be single,
it's okay to choose.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
That, right solomaxing. I can choose that for myself. I've
told you before. I think I'm okay with it, and
I could get too comfortable, but I watched my mom
do that, and I don't want to turn into my mom.
So that's I think I do desire being with somebody.
I saw Chelsea Handler talking about how like she doesn't
want to be in a long term relationship, like she's
(25:29):
just she wants to date. Maybe she'll date him for
like four years. I think it was her longest relationship ever.
Well I don't know ever, but in recent that she
was talking about like I don't know how far back
she's going with her dating history, but she was like, look,
ever since she decided she was going to live this way,
four years was long enough for her. But she kind
(25:51):
of goes into the dating relationship very upfront of I
might date other people. Yeah, And I'm like, I don't
though that that's for me. It sounds like date maxing.
But I want to find like a happy medium, Like
do I want to be that? I don't think so.
(26:12):
Do I want to be alone? I don't think so.
So the middle to me would be finding somebody yeah, okay,
so but I'm thankful for people sharing their experiences because
watching her say that clip, like then I get to reflect,
is that a way that I want to live?
Speaker 3 (26:26):
There's options, there's options.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
And then you're telling me about solo maxing, Like, is
that a way that I want to live?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And for anybody listening, like, I think
that a lot of times being single is looked at
as like and I felt this for a long time too,
is like there's something wrong with you, or you you
can't get it together, or like you're boo who you know.
Back in the day, they called them what were they,
the the single ladies the I wanted to say Spindlers, but.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Oh Littleminster Spinster.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah, spinsters. And it was like a plague on them almost.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Oh yeah they Kristin Hannah talks about them in The
Four Winds. Yes, Sensors.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
You like that book?
Speaker 7 (27:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I finished it. I love it.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Wait pause, were you confused when it ended? Well, yo,
you read it? Yeah, okay, so you knew it was
last page. Never mind, I was confused when it ended.
I thought there was more anyway. Yeah. Back in the day,
you it was a plague to be single, and now like,
it is a fine thing if you want to live
your life that way, you can live a wonderful, beautiful life.
(27:32):
Now if you don't want to, that's another thing.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I did see this thing about how if you're wanting
to lock in a man.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
So maybe this is more up your asse.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, you need to flirt instead of complain. Like this
is an example that she gave. It was Laura Ktilla.
One woman may say, oh, you're late and be all
annoyed by it. Another woman says, omg, bay, do I
have to punish you? You already know which one gets
(28:06):
everything she wants and it's the flirty one. So that's
way to flirt? I said, Can I not pull it off? Okay,
try to.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Bay?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, okay, okay, sorry, okay. If you're trying to lock
in a man, you can either be the girl that's
like you're late, or you can be like, oh gee, baby,
do I have to punish you? Those are the two options.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
I think it's the baby I can't ever see me like, baby,
you're late.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I know, but that's supposed to be flirting.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Yeah, okay, okay ah.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Another way to lock in a guy is tend to
yourself before you think about him. So go out for
a walk before you check if he texted you, for example,
like instead of being obsessed with your phone and needs
to hit you back, like, go take care of yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I'm going to be good for you.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Elevate your environment, play good music, have warm lights, clean sense.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I thought you were going to say clean sheets.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
No clean smells. That makes him want to be over
or be there with you over anywhere else. Okay, so
it's the vibe which I keep saying, maybe this is
my algorithm.
Speaker 8 (29:33):
Lately.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Light bulbs in your algorithm, and I don't know why
they keep popping up, but their video is over and
over about I need kelvin twenty seven hundred. Let me
google if that's right.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Light bulbs are one of the things that I did
not realize would be so confusing as an adult, of
like how to get the right light bulbs for your house?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Twenty seven one hundred kelvin. That's the only kind of
light color you need in the house. In the house,
that's what they above in the lamp. And well, according
to my Algorithmough, okay, you need.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Lights than that.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Where do you get that home depot you get your life?
I don't know if they have light bulbs at the groceries.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
They do have on the grocery store. I last time
I went to get light bulbs, I got them at
the grocery store and they are not the right ones.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, so the grocery store, you're probably working with what
they've got. Where if you go to like home depot,
there's more of a variety and you could find it.
And you just need to walk in and be like,
excuse me, where's the kelvin twenty seven hundred or twenty
seven hundred kelvin. I'm gon know the right way to
say it, but every video that pops up in my
feet about light bulbs, it's just like someone yelling at.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Me that is it warm light?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yes, okay, they say no cool lights.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I think I have cool lights in me.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
You got to get rid of those. You are not
creating a vibe for your man. Well what about if
you're in the Einstein, you are not locking in it.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Looks at that light bulb to see what you had?
Is that kelvin up there?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I don't know. I'm not going to look twenty seven
hundred kelvin is what you need? So and I don't
know that every light bulb my head is that because
it just now has been in my algorithm, which I
can't explain why.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Yeah, we are you looking for?
Speaker 1 (31:06):
But now I do need to do inventory around my house.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Well, I have the same light that we have in
here in my house. I copied you. You can't put
this in any old light. They're the ones that look
like they have like the little totally thinging in them.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, but I don't know that I would put those
in that light I have. But I'm sure it looks good.
Looks oh, I'm sure it does. Okay, Well, listen, I
don't know. You want to talk about my sister knowing things.
She knows the exact right light bulbs, and listen because
in my kitchen, you know over my table that I've
got that really funky light and I thought a.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Lot, really, so do I.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
It's so fun And I thought I got the perfect
light bulb, and she was like, nope, wrong light bulb,
but this is the one you need to order, And
sure enough I order it and it is. It looks
so much better. And it's it's a bigger light bulb
that's round and milk glass like, so it's white like
you can't see through it at all.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Another thing, in addition to elevating your environment, stop needing
him and start valuing him. He shouldn't save you, he
should join you.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
This reminds me of black Cat.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Black Cat golden retriever, black cat. How would she talk?
She was a viral thing on TikTok A while I
thought she was like Russian, Oh, black gut golden Retriever.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
She was Russian because that's the only accent you can do.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Maybe she was from like yeah, Prague, black cut, golden retriever.
Express express emotion without spiraling. Well, this one would be
hard for me. Communicate how you feel without blame, receive
his support. Work as a team, not enemies that will
lock in a man hard for you.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
I feel like I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I figure with that well, sometimes I spiral, but.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Not we all from time to time.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Maybe with it, I have my spiral more in my
own head. And then last, let him handle things, not
because you can't. We know you can do it. Ironically,
the only thing we often can't do is lean back
and receive that.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
That one sometimes is hard. Let him do it well,
I will say early in the relationship, in my relationship,
I think that was a lot harder to like, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Because you were solo, Maxine for so long.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
I wouldn't call that solo Maxine. I wasn't trying to
be single.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Where you were single for a while, like you were
already and such an adult by the time you, like,
you had finished college, you had built a business and
a career, and you were living on your own. You
bought your own house. Not a lot of people have
done all that before they get married, or a lot
of girls I know just are not in that situation.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah. So it was hard in the beginning, but now
then once you get used to it, I mean it's
I have no problem now. But as you were first reading,
especially the first one, did you ever read.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
A flirt instead of complaint?
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yeah? Which I do like that tip. It just is
the the quote, the example, it's funny. Yeah, remind me
of that book Why Men Love Bitches? Did you ever
read that book?
Speaker 1 (34:15):
No?
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Okay should I No? No?
Speaker 6 (34:17):
No.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I had a friend that I was in my twenties
recommend this book to me, and I think I got
like twenty to thirty pages in was like, I'm not
doing this. It was almost like tricking a man into
liking you by being mean. But but my point is like,
you weren't being yourself, so you might be able to
get a guy, but what kind of guy are you
(34:40):
going to get? And then when do you when are
you allowed to like be yourself? Is that person going
to stick around? So I don't know. It was a
very popular book back then, so I'm sure some people.
If you've read it, let me know what you thought
of it. It was wild.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Now I've never even heard of it.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Okay, I might still. I might have given it away
in a move that.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Was probably a locked into my marriage at the time.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Yeah, you didn't need it. But I'm also like, even
the title, I'm like, I don't want to reward men
for liking women that are cold and mean and not
I didn't want it. Yeah, it was my vibe.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Well, it's good to hear what like you things that
have been recommended to you that you're like, oh, that's
not for me, because then it's comforting for somebody else.
Like even sometimes things were saying or stuff you may
hear from somebody else. You get to decide for yourself
what's for you. I don't want because for somebody else,
and may'd be like, oh my gosh, this book like
totally changed everything for me.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Yeah yeah, maybe, but it also made me think of too,
like this is something I talk about in work all
the time. This is something I talk about in work
(35:51):
all the time. Is with attachments. A lot of people
are always like, I want somebody who's this, or I
want somebody that you know, anxious, avoid secure. We all
want to be secure, securely attached, And the problem is
if I'm pretending to be somebody I'm not so if
I am pretending to be really avoidant, because you know,
(36:15):
those people don't care as much, but I actually am
more anxious and I do need more reassurance or more
connection or more communication. You might be able to get
the partner by pretending you're somebody else, but then you
don't ever win because you either have to keep playing
that role or you stop playing the role, and then
the person is like, this is not what I signed
(36:36):
up for. So my suggestion is always it's better to
be yourself. Now. We can still work on things like
we need to be kind carrying human beings and have
effective communication, but be yourself and you might have to
wait longer to find that person, but when you find
that person, you're going to be more compatible and it's
going to last longer than just like hooking a guy.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Right, So I'm going to ask you to describe how
you would say you have a husband back home if
you're on Will of Fortune. Okay, just what's activity here?
Speaking of relationships, Let's pretend you're on Will Fortune and
Ryan Seacrest is like, oh, so tell me about yourself.
So how would you You're in front of the crowd,
(37:19):
You're on national TV. Okay, So I'm kat, I'm from Nashville, I.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Have I I'm a therapist. I feel like I'm being tricked.
So I'm nervous right now. I have a loving husband
at home. Is that right?
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You did it? Okay, that's so interesting because this guy
went viral after he spent six years building a very
odd relationship study to figure out whether husbands who publicly
praised their wives stayed married longer. So how he did
this is he watched nearly two thousand episodes of Wheel
(37:58):
of Fortune. He logged how all contestants introduced their wives.
He separated my beautiful wife guys from the men who
just said my wife. Now you said my loving husband.
So I think as long as there was like an
adjective descriptive towards oh, my loving husband, my shoot, I'm
glad see well, at least according to his study, then
(38:23):
he spent years tracking divorce records afterward, that wild According
to his findings, husbands using complimentary adjectives had dramatically lower
divorce rates. Men with nothing nice to say divorced at
(38:43):
nearly three times the rate within five years.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
No way, m hmm.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
I mean, I know that this is just two thousand
episodes of ill fortune.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
But Scan spent a lot of.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Time and entered in a lot of data. And he
even broke down big money winners, long term marriage outcomes,
contestant demographics, and confirmed divorces after airing dates. It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
How did he track down I guess it's public record
when people were divorced. He must be in research. He
does this for a living.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
I don't know. I saw some people in the comments
that they were like, and I'm not saying this is
he I don't know if this is an insensitive comment,
but I I thought I left a little okay, you
can tell me, okay, you're a therapist. In the comments
they were like, this is the type of like autism
I'm into or something okay, or like just getting fixated
(39:39):
or being able to like actually dial in.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
To do this hyperfixation.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah, maybe that's where the thing is that rude or
on the spectrum.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
I think this has become in pop culture like a
funny thing to say.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
It was definitely a compliment. Yeah yeah, and they're like,
I'm here for more of this. If this is what
you're into.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I think eventually that's going to become something that people
probably it's like not pc to say, but well then
I do think of it. I think that, well, you
were checking in on it. It's not like you're saying
it willie nilly, but I do think that, like, yeah,
this is the type of hyperfixation I'm into. If you're
going to do something like kind of weird, this is
(40:21):
at least make it interesting, right, But he has to,
like I'm assuming this isn't like his extracurricular hobby. Like
this sounds like a legit. He could publish a paper
on this.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I'm sure he could. He put it on Instagram though.
So Calvin twenty seven hundred light bulbs and this guy
are popping up in my.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I want your algorithm. My algorithm sucks right now.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I know it's just pregnancy clothes.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Yeah, stuff that. Like I get a lot of like
buy this not that, And I'm like, okay, I get it.
I don't but I want to learn something funny.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
You know what else popped into my page is just
this crazy story. It's not funny, okay, but it's heartwarming
and special. I mean, I think about it being that
I've lost both of my parents, but there's this squirrel
who her dad passed away, and she kept texting his number,
and his number eventually got reassigned to somebody else, and
(41:18):
that guy was just receiving the messages. And then on
the day before the fourth anniversary, she sent her dad
a text and was like, it's really hard. Tomorrow is
going to be four years and I'll just read to
you what I pulled from it because it's really special
because he ended up responding and you think you're texting
(41:41):
your dad and then all of a sudden, the bubbles
start popping off and you're like, wait a second. For
four years after her father figure passed away, Chasity Patterson
continued sending text messages to his old number, sharing updates
about her life and milestones. On the fourth anniversary of
his death in twenty nineteen, she sent an emotional describing
everything she had accomplished, including beating cancer, graduating from college
(42:05):
with honors, and overcoming personal struggles to her surprise, she
received a reply from a man named Brad, who had
been assigned the number after it was reassigned by the carrier.
Brad explained that he had been reading her messages for years,
but he never responded because he didn't want to interrupt
her connection to the man that she loved. He also
(42:26):
shared that he had lost his own daughter in a
car accident and said that Chastity's texts had brought him
comfort during difficult times. His heartfelt response quickly went viral,
touching millions of people and turning the exchange into a
memorable story about grief, healing and human connection.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
What are the odds that the number that her dad
went to went to a guy that needed.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
To and had lost his daughter, needed to see those texts?
Speaker 3 (42:52):
That's sweet, I know.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
And then I looked at like the text message were
there on the screen, And then, you know, something that's
happening to me a lot lately because of AI, and
I don't like the feeling. It's like is this real?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Or is this so much of that stotoshop? And I
am choosing to believe that this is real? But there
are so many heartwarming videos that I have already fallen
for and then later have learned that it's all AI.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
So I'm like, what, Yeah, I've been getting used to
looking at the bottom of a video because a lot
of times it'll be tagged as AI. Okay, sometimes it's not.
But it's also like Patrick and I talk about this
a lot, A lot of the videos of people doing
like the sweet, like kind like heartwarming things are they're
(43:39):
not authentic. They're doing it for social media, and so
sometimes I'm like, wait, is this real or is this
Like it's real people, but it's not actual interactions. It
seems more performative, well not even performative. Sometimes it is
performance like it's not real. Like I'll watch something I'll
be like, Patrick, this is so sweet. Oh my gosh,
I'm crying. He's like, Kat, they're like acting like that's
(43:59):
not real.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Oh yeah, Well what about if it is something that's
really happening but it is being filmed and it's not acting.
Because my friend's husband is he he cannot handle it.
Like I've started to now send stuff to show her husband.
I'm like, show this to your husband, see what he thinks,
because he's like, this is so over the top. As
(44:20):
a dad, I would never film myself doing that for
my kids. The fact that that dad is filming themselves
doing whatever for their daughter they're doing they're not They're not.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
It's not they're not in their real life.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Least, Like I can't imagine doing that for my kid
and filming it.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Yeah, well no, And I think that's the problem that's
become so normal. I feel like we talk about this
pretty often, and this is why we're bad at social media,
because I can't bring myself to film myself doing something
to them for the purpose of like posting it, like
like acting like the camera's not there, Like if we're
filming something and we know the cameras there, that's one thing,
(44:57):
But like to like film myself like cooking Britanny, like
the camera's not there and be like, oh me being sweet.
It's very different than us like filming a cooking show
that like we used to do, you know what I mean.
But I have a complicated relationship because I do think
that that becomes performative and it's not real. But I
also do like how some of the videos help spread
(45:22):
hope and love and kindness. Because I was watching, for example,
this video of a guy who he's in recovery. I
wish I remember I knew the handle, but like he
he was in recovery. And now what he does is
he helps get other people in treatment. And so he
this was filmed him like finding this woman who I
(45:44):
don't know what she was on, but you could tell
she was like pretty heavily in her addiction, and he
was so kind to her and like picked her up
and was like, hey, we're going to help you. I'm
so and So's friend. We're going to take you to
this treatment program and da da da, And it was
like a three part video.
Speaker 6 (46:01):
It was.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
It was sweet, and I liked it because it showed
somebody giving empathy to somebody that a lot of people
roll their eyes at or judge or whatever. And he
filmed it and he put on touch media. I think
he did that more to promote like be kind. These
are people too, versus look at this kind of thing
that I did. So I think it's different, like if
(46:23):
it's if it's you filming yourself going up to a
random person and be like, here's five hundred dollars and
be like look what I did. I gave a stranger
five hundred dollars that I'm like come on. But if
it's you trying to show compassion and try to promote compassion,
I think it can be done right right, But that's
different than like, look at me filming myself being such
(46:43):
a great dad. Oh my yeah, just be a good dad.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Well, And I mean some dads have more of a
following on social media and they can have a different
relationship with it. It was just it's funny that how
her husband is having such a strong reaction. I don't
think he has social media. He just sees what his
wife is watching and she'll be like, oh, look at this,
and he'll be like stop, I can't. He's like, I can't.
I can't relate to that guy at all whatsoever. Like
I'm glad you think that's cute, but I think it's ridiculous.
Speaker 7 (47:08):
And how much of that is real too, Like like
if they wouldn't if that's that's the experience they would
have with their daughter cameras or no cameras.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, because also I think that gets in the way
of it's like anything else, like Instagram is not real.
Photos can be photoshopped, but a life can be photoshopped,
and an interaction can be photoshopped. So if my job,
and this is something just for us to remember. If
somebody's job is to be like a dad influencer or whatever,
I guess that's a thing, then we have to take
(47:44):
everything with a grain of salt because their job is
to promote content of doing these fun, cute things with
their kids. So that's going to be a different than
like just the everyday person who has to their job
is to go to their job and then come home
and be a dad.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
You know, yeah, definitely different anyway, all right, well you
want to pivot into some voicemails.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Yes, I've been waiting for this because I.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Pulled four of them four without farting.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
Who thought we'd ever be here?
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Because we talked about this last week and y'all have
a lot to say. We got emails, We got voicemails,
so I'm just gonna play some of them. This is
a voicemail that we got from Mindy in Kansas.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
Hey, Amy, and Kat's your friend Mindy from Kansas. Again,
just listen to the episode of passing gas in front
of your partner's spouse. My husband and I have been
married for about fourteen years together, I think around sixteen.
Of course, he does it you know, just whatever. However,
(48:49):
I am one that I will silently do it if
I need to, if I feel like it can be
that way. And then if I need to whirl the
window down if we're in the car, I'll be like
oh and the kids will be like mom, of course
my son does it like my husband, and then my
daughter again like me, silently if she has to. But yeah,
(49:11):
if it's something that I feel like he's going to
hear like, I will refrain from it. So I don't know.
I think it's just in our DNA.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
I think my mom was always that way too.
Speaker 5 (49:22):
Looking back, Dad letter rip any day doesn't really care
who he's around, I guess. So anyways, Yeah, hilarious episode.
Of course I listen to the end. Hope you both
have the day you.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Need to have. Ye let it rip? Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
So yeah, Mindy's explaining what I think probably most people feel.
We're for men it's okay, and for the girls it's
like no, not me. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a
good generalization.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Oh yeah, I think that's probably the majority.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
Yeah all right, So our next voicemail is from top Hey.
Speaker 4 (50:01):
A mean kat, This is Tara in Virginia. I am
fifty three and no, I'm fifty four, sorry, and I
was listening to your conversation about breaking when in front
of your significant other.
Speaker 6 (50:17):
I think that that's a good thing to be able
to do, just because if you're in a relationship with someone,
you should be able to be your full and complete self.
I just think that someone who's with you, even though
you have gas or verb or whatever else, shows that
(50:39):
they that they are truly yours. They see you and
know that you are a real person. I can't imagine
not having gas in front of my husband. That would
be a long time of holding gases. Anyway, I really
do enjoy your show, and I hope that you are
(51:00):
having to day to choose me to have.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
Okay, so there you go. I feel like we are
giving people a place to process something that they really
want to process, I mean well.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
And cheering their perspective, which is what we asked for,
because we've got people so far in reading some of
the emails that we've got to which maybe we'll save
something for couch talks later in the week, but like
people are all over the place with it.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
Well. I love that she says that, like if you
have gas or you burp in front of your partner.
That means that they see you and they know you, and.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
They know you're real.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
I don't really have a problem burping, I guess well.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
I also started laughing in my head as I was
listening to this because I was remembering you go, well,
I mean, if I have to hiccup, I'll do it.
If that's the same thing, all right.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
This next voicemail is from Sam.
Speaker 8 (51:55):
Tami and Kat, my fiance and I have been together
for four and a half year. I do not part
in front of him, nor have I ever farted in
front of my partners before him. He sometimes now farts
in front of me, like every once in a while
if he's in like a silly goofy mood. But that's
about it. Growing up, I did not fart in front
(52:20):
of my family. My mom didn't, like no one did.
My dad didn't part in front of us. That's that part.
And then my mom, growing up, her grandmother praised her,
and her grandmother would not allow the kids to part,
so which is of course messed up. That's a whole
other thing. My mom used to fart in the closet
(52:43):
growing up, so that's definitely where I probably got it from.
But I also in general don't like being vulnerable, and
I can fully admit that, so that's probably part of it.
And also I agree to cast point of like I
feel like if you're like the Miss three part of it,
If you are parting in front of your partner, it's
(53:03):
like they've experienced every single part of you, which I
think it is healthy and good to keep some parts
of you like a mystery. But yeah, so that's my
personal experience. And I'm coming from Boston. My name is
Sam and I'm twenty nine.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Sam twenty nine, shout out.
Speaker 3 (53:23):
We have a range of ages calling us about this.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
I know in someone in their twenties.
Speaker 3 (53:28):
Yeah, Sam's twenty nine, I know. Yeah that's why I so,
oh yeah, that's like the b I was like, I
just said that. No, I know.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
I'm just saying like, because we were like, do we
have anybody in our twenties listening? I don't know, Okay,
And thank you for your perspective being with someone in
four and a half years and you're choosing not.
Speaker 3 (53:47):
To do that.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
But my heart hurt for her mom and how her
grandma was like, oh, that would be hard Okay, our
next voicemail, thank you for that one. Sam. This final
one is from the final. The final part.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Was we're done after that.
Speaker 1 (54:05):
Yeah, we could only do so much, but we do
appreciate y'all sharing your perspectives. We need to put together
some sort of a like how many we got that
are don't do it?
Speaker 3 (54:15):
Oh and B versus No No. I think we're more
a pro.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
What's that song? Lunchbox always talks about this song on
the Bobby Bone Show. It's tutor and boot it.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
I've never heard.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
I think that's like actually doing it. It's like Tutini
boot it, Tudim boot it. But I was just thinking
we could make a chart that's like those that toot it,
those that Okay, this is Katie from Oklahoma.
Speaker 9 (54:38):
Hi, this is Katie from Oklahoma. I'm forty thanks, I
thank you some forty things. I just got such a
kick out of listening to you guys talk about party.
I'm even like it's some weird coming out of my
mouth because I never called it party, but my kids too,
and it's just like didn't growing up. And I wanted
(54:59):
to share about my daughter and she has a boyfriend.
She's a freshman in high school where she just finished
her freshman year and she has like her first like
real boyfriend where they have like a really sweet relationship
and they hang out a lot. And we had to
day in the car, she was just like, Oh, I
really have to fart, and I was just like mortified internally,
(55:22):
but then I also was like loving it at the
same time because she was comfortable enough in front of him,
and he just thought it was hilarious and he was
just like laughing. But I just thought it was really
sweet and showing their like like how comfortable they were
with each other. It's not like she would do that
in front of anybody, So I actually liked taking it
(55:42):
as a really like positive thing because I cannot imagine
doing that in front of a boyfriend of mine in
ninth grade. I just thought it was so funny, and
I don't think she ever actually did it. We were
more just laughing about it. But I think it's a
personality thing, honestly, because my other daughter and boyfriend was
(56:04):
staying with us recently. She's in college and he lives
out of town, and he was like embarrassed to use
the bathroom at her house. And when I started like
talking about it to like try to make him feel comfortable.
I'm like, he was like so embarrassed, but I was
trying to like be like, hey, it's no big deal,
(56:25):
like everybody poops, like just go on upstairs. And he
was just like, oh my gosh, I can't believe we're
talking about this. So I don't know. I do think it.
I think Kat's right, like I think it's more like
part how you grew up and then part personality. But
I just want to share those little stories. I love
you guys so much.
Speaker 1 (56:44):
Thank you for that, And that's the difference. Yeah, she
offered the twist with her guy and her other daughter's
boyfriend not wanting to use the restroom in the house,
which that could be a whole nother topic.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
I don't think we should go, No, we won't, but
but that was interesting that because we were saying that
guys are so much they're easier, they don't care as much.
But that was a guy that did care.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
I know, well, I think that my ex husband he
would care. He didn't talk, he grew up. They didn't
talk about periods or anything. It was nothing, which that
made it difficult because I wanted to talk about all
kinds of things like that, and he would be like,
I think I'm going to pass out.
Speaker 3 (57:25):
I'm like what, Okay, I know that's dramatic.
Speaker 1 (57:31):
Yeah, well, I don't want to throw shade. I love
his parents, but I think that they were a little
well I think that they like he never even knew
of like if his mom was sick or if they
like if they had cramps, like they didn't talk about it,
like wasn't a thing, like nobody she would just quietly
would like go to her room and they didn't talk
about if they had throwing up or diary like if
(57:52):
the flu, like nothing got talked about.
Speaker 3 (57:54):
Huh so wild times.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
I think it was sort of his raising, but maybe
he's evolved. I don't know. Okay, Well, there you go.
We're going to end on that.
Speaker 3 (58:04):
Everybody's input. Yes, we appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
And we hope you can let it out if you
need to, and wherever you are, we hope you have
the day you need to have.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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