Surviving COVID-19: Awareness. Self Care. Family + Friends. Productivity.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, little food for yourself life, ain't. Oh it's pretty Bay,
it's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth you're kicking

(00:30):
with four Brown Happy Thursday, Everybody. Today's guest is Catherine
de fodd Up from Three Chords Therapy. She's a therapist
and I asked her to come on and talk surviving
COVID nineteen with us. We're going to cover awareness, self care,
family and friends, productivity just like we'll dive in deeper

(00:52):
to all of those things so that way we can
get through this emotionally, mentally, physically like as best as
we can. And Catherine is the therapist that was actually
on last week's episode if you listen to that, it
was an introduction into the series that we're gonna be
launching in April. Which, speaking of that, I'll just go
ahead and talk about it. I have a few housekeeping

(01:12):
things I want to go over before the episode starts.
But this Saturday, the trailer drops for that bonus series
that I'm doing, called Outweigh with Lisa, who is at
the Well Necessities on Instagram. So if you aren't subscribed,
make sure that you subscribed to four Things with Amy
Brown so that you don't miss out on that, and
then the upcoming series in April because every Saturday and
new episode episode excuse Me will release And you know,

(01:35):
we've got together to do this because we wanted to
break the stigma and expose the gray area of eating disorders.
And we just want to make sure nobody feels alone
in this journey and we want you all to know
that freedom is possible. So please subscribe. If this sounds
like something you need, tell others about it if you
think they may need it, especially in this time where
people are just stuck at home and maybe they're not used,
they're not in their normal routine, they can't go to

(01:56):
the gym, they're eating more. There's stress and anxiety. You know,
I feel like and obviously we did not plan this
at all, but this is releasing at a very good
time that could be very helpful for a lot of people,
and that is our hope. Um Also, our four Things
Gratitude challenge is still growing strong. It's so cool to
see y'all writing down every day for the month of

(02:17):
March and Mary and I were talking about it. We're like,
should we just extend it because we all need all
the gratitude we can get right now, but make sure
you're tagging at shop a Spoa so we can see
your post and using the hashtag four Things gratitude. And
then you don't have to have our little ted eyed
journal to to do it, our four Things journal, but
if you do want one, I've I know, I've been

(02:38):
posting some of my entries and I still get questions
like where do I get that journal? So just letting
y'all know that that's up at radio amy dot com
and it supports Haiti with purchase. And then also quickly
at radio amy dot com is a link to our
Empowered Women's line which is currently supporting Home Street Home
and their efforts to empower some single moms that were

(02:59):
left home US after the tornado and then jobless after
coronavirus shut down their work. So our aim is to
keep them housed and their needs met like rent, utilities, food, hygiene, phones, gas,
et cetera. Again, these are single moms that I mean
just got hit twice tornado to Corona and then you know,

(03:19):
once they can get back to work, they can get
back on their feet. But Radio Aime dot com for
all links to that, and then also while you're there.
You'll notice that my Amazon Favorites pages right there. And
I'm just mentioning that because I do get a lot
of questions like, you know, hey, where where did you
get this? Or what brand is that? And how do
I make sure I'm buying the right thing, like the
tinkle razors. If you want to start shaving your face

(03:39):
while you're at home in quarantine, maybe this is a
good time to practice face shaving. Those are up on
my Amazon uh Favorite things page radiomea dot com for
all of that. Okay, so here we go. Let's get
into the Four Things with Katherine on surviving COVID nineteen. Okay,
hey Kath and thank you for being here to help

(04:02):
us survived this craziness that is coronavirus. And a lot
of people are just wondering what in the world what
is happening to my life? And they may feel very isolated.
I know, like for me, I can't see my dad
at all right now, And that is the exact word
he used. He's at an assistant living place and I said, well,

(04:24):
how how are you feeling? And he said, I just
feel isolated and alone. And for someone that's elderly and
also recovering from the crazy cancer journey, and just that
kind of stimulation and interaction is so important to his
mental health. And now he's just confined to his little
room mostly is scary. And so whether but whether you're

(04:47):
old or young, isolation is not good. But we have
to be aware of what's happening. So the first thing
we're going to touch on today is awareness. So talk
me through why awareness is important. I think we start
that first because if we just pretend like everything is fine,
even if the awareness is probably not something that feels

(05:08):
really good, we're still feeling it no matter what. So
in the sense of I am lonely, like I do
feel isolated. Me saying like I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,
Like this isn't that big of a deal doesn't change
the actual fact that you do feel that. Does that
make sense what I'm saying? And so I think the
first thing is, yeah, just like figure out what it

(05:30):
is that's going on with you. We can't really fix
anything if we don't know what's going on, right, because
then we don't, we're probably fixing the wrong thing. And
so the first thing, yeah, awareness, and then bringing in
the idea that whatever happens in quarantine social distancing, it's
not going to feel like real life. And so our

(05:51):
goal isn't here to figure out how do I make
everything better or how do I make this loneliness totally
go away? It's how do I do the best I
can with kind of what I do now that makes
sense to you? And so can I ask you? Just
ask you a questions? Sure? So for you, what do
you think like in your day to day? Because you
guys are doing the show at home, So what do

(06:12):
you feel mostly or maybe even this morning, like when
you woke up? Well, I mean with my husband and
kids gone while we're recording this. Hopefully by the time
the airs, they'll be back. But they drove to Texas
and I was actually looking forward to this is before
quarantine was a thing. This is before you know, their
trip was planned before all of this, And for a

(06:32):
couple of months now, I've been looking forward to spring
break because they were going to get to go have
some time with their dad and their cousins and have
a lot of fun. And I was going to get
to just still be working. That's why I couldn't go
with them. But slow down a little bit because that's
just a part of my life that I love and
a door. But it was going to be they were
going to be out having fun, so I was going

(06:53):
to get to recover a little bit and I needed that.
And it hasn't felt that. I mean my husband, I
talked to him, He's like, how is this week felt? Like?
Isn't it so great? And I'm like no, actually no. Selfishly,
it's stole my thunder of being alone because now it's
like I'm forced to be alone and like I have
no choice and I don't feel like I have the freedom.
And suddenly it's not as exciting to be alone because

(07:16):
now I'm alone alone and where we might be alone
for a while, I hope that they come back and
when you're listening to this that they are back, but
still we're still going to be alone as a family
and isolated and it just we can't. I can't see
my dad, Like that's an example of something that's really hard.
And this week I went to go see him and
had to stay behind this door and waved to him

(07:38):
through the door in the window, and that was weird.
Like so for me, I already forgot the original question,
what did you feel with therapist. You're asking you, what
do you feel. I'm feeling like frustrated and annoyed because
my time alone was stolen, But that is silly comparison

(08:01):
to the real problems in the world. So I'm also
feeling sad for people that are hurting. I am, I'm angry.
I was emotional. We're recording this on a Saturday, So
yesterday Friday, I cried heavy. Luke Combs's song uh even
though I'm leaving or whatever came on. Bobby did the
Friday morning dance party in the show, and I had

(08:22):
the headphones. I kept them in my ear and there
was Travis Traits Great Day to Be Alive came on,
and I was just thinking, he's not a great day
to be a rock like Travis Tritt. But in the
dance party suppsed to be uplifting and fun and I
people are probably trying to dance in their car and
that's what we have the dance party for on the
Bobby Phone Show. But I was at the microphone bawling

(08:43):
my eyes out, and so I think I'm feeling all
kinds of things. Okay, so you answered that really well, Okay,
because no, because Okay, so that's exactly kind of what
I'm talking about of I experienced something similar this week.
So the part where you say I feel, what did
you say? I feel frustrated and like and then I

(09:04):
feel but then you said I feel silly for feeling that.
So that's where I want people to like really dig into,
because I had a really easy time feeling a lot
of emotions for other people this week. And then Thursday afternoon,
I got done with my work days kind of I
supposed to have a meeting and the person I was
having a meeting with came in my office and I
just like went off. I don't even remember what I said,

(09:27):
like blacked out. I have no idea what I said.
I all I know that I kept saying was I
really have to go to the bathroom, but wait one
more thing. And I kept over and over and over,
and I was like looked at and I was like,
why am I doing this? Like why what's going on
with me? And she like said she's also a therapist.
So she sat me down and she was like okay, right,
And so what had happened was like I had spent

(09:50):
my whole work week being like I'm so grateful that
I still have a job where I'm still great. I'm
so grateful that I can so help people, and I have,
like it, never really sat and figured out, Okay, well,
what actually do I feel about this? Because I'm sitting
with everybody else's feelings about this. I'm sad for this person,
I'm lonely for this person. I have agreed for this person.

(10:11):
And then what happened is I turned into this like
I don't know who I was, but I was just
like going off and that's not me. I felt a
lot of anxiety that day. I felt like all this
stuff I was doing was a little bit like wonky.
And so the point of all that is you saying,
I feel really angry that what I was looking forward
to for a really long time, I feel silly to

(10:32):
feel that is invaliding to you. Okay, do that makes sense? Yeah,
but I think we can probably do that a lot
in life, like and if coronavirus didn't exist. Sometimes, when
we are upset about something that seems trivial or not
important compared to the rest of the world's problems, or
we call it hashtag first world however you want to

(10:53):
look at it, what you're saying is it's okay to
recognize that feeling and be it's okay, yeah, because I
think what people miss is that kind of denying yourself
feelings of disappointment. It doesn't mean that like I'm having
more empathy for you because your issues are better. It
actually takes away the ability for us to have a

(11:14):
certain amount of empathy because we're not like being human.
And I remember one of my friend's weddings got canceled
and she says to get married next week, and she
was sitting crying over and then she was like, I
feel so stupid crying over this because people have real problems.
And then so she said that, and then I in
my head was like, well, and I really shouldn't feel
the feelings that I have about my problems because my wedding.

(11:34):
So it's like a rippling effective, like the nobody is
allowed to have feelings except somebody who's actually dying. So
when we say it, it gives permission to others to
feel it, and it doesn't minimize my feelings that I
feel for some of my friends that have lost income
and jobs and they don't know where their security is

(11:54):
going to come from at this moment, or the fact
that that there's bigger, bigger issues, like the tornado just
happened in Nashville like three weeks ago, and then there's
corona virus, so yeah, there's literally people left homeless. And
then even before the tornado and coronavirus, there was already
people homeless. So yes, okay, so we have to get

(12:16):
our permission to feel what stuff matters, My stuff matters,
and bringing like an And what I like to do
in those situations is that is horrible, Like I have
so much sadness for all all the stuff around the
tornado and all the things that you just said. And
I have feelings too. You don't have to compare them,
you don't have to weigh that which one is worse.

(12:36):
Both of them can exist. So this is why that's
so important. I don't know if I said this really clearly.
Is that when we have feelings all of the time,
the feelings are telling us something that we need. So
if I'm angry but I'm not allowing myself to get
angry or be angry, then I'm going to miss out
on what I need. The feeling doesn't go away, it

(12:58):
just goes somewhere that it doesn't belong. So it's gonna
come out sideways. So if you notice that, it doesn't
have to be about self quarantine, but in any part
of our life. So if I'm feeling a lot of fear,
there's a lot of yeah, exactly. So if I'm feeling
a lot of fear, but I'm like, oh, I I
shouldn't be scared because I still have my house and
I still have this, and I still have this, Well,
the fear doesn't go anywhere. And I think of emotion

(13:20):
is like energy, and so the energy is going to
go somewhere in my body if I'm not acknowledging that,
like I'm scared, because whatever it is what ends up
happening is like I'm gonna get really really really really
really anxious. There in lies my Thursday afternoon when I'm
just like word vomiting everywhere. And it wasn't about all
the things I was saying. I don't remember. What I
was saying, was that, like, Holly, Molly, I have no

(13:42):
idea what is going to happen in the world, and
people come to me to tell them it's going to
be okay, and I don't know if it's going to
be okay okay, So what do we do once we
give ourselves permission to feel the fear, that it's okay
to have the fear. So I don't know if you're
really going to love this start, but it's not or
or the anger or the frustration or the sadness or whatever.

(14:04):
That emotion is so welcome that emotion in and then
right now what this is new for me too, It's
like welcome in the idea that like it's not okay
and it is okay for it to not be okay
right now. We've never gone through this ever. I can't
read a book that says, like the last worldwide pandemic,
this is what therapist therapist did to help. It's like

(14:25):
we're all just doing the best we can, and uncertainty
doesn't always mean that we're not safe, but we're taught
that like certainty and control is safety and out of
control is not safety and unsafe, and that's really actually
not true. So the second part is like allow yourself
to like just not be We don't have to figure

(14:46):
it out right now, so we need to be aware
and then be okay with whatever we're feeling and then
just be okay with it not being okay, right and
then here's the here's I'll give you one more to
help because they're like, well, okay, um, so now I'm
feeling really sad. And the one part that we can

(15:08):
add in that actually has been really helpful for me
is and I even sent an email to like all
of my clients and friends and all the people as
a person who people come to to give them answers.
And a lot of times I have a lot of answers.
I don't have them anymore, but there are still things
I know. So I'm uncertain when it comes to what's
going to happen with COVID nineteen, like very uncertain. There

(15:31):
are still things that I know, and so every morning
I write down I call them personal facts. I try
to do five a day, And so I think the
other day in mine were I woke up this morning,
I can't control with what's going on in the world,
I can control how I respond was one my lungs
are still working right now, and this too shall pass

(15:52):
was the last one. That's always my last one because
I know it's not gonna last forever. And so something
that could be really helpful is like there's a lot
of uncertainty, yes, and there's all the feelings around that,
what do you know? Okay, focus on that. That's the
awareness that we're going to talk about. And the next
thing we're going to get into is self care, self
care like you never have before. So that'll be the

(16:13):
second thing. Okay, So before we get into the second thing,
which I know it Teas was going to be self care,
Catherine was like, wait a second, Wait a second, I
have one more thing I want to say that would
go in the awareness bubble. And what was it. I
think it's helpful. I'm a wide person, and so I
think it's helpful to explain as many wise as I
know two people. So the idea that humans don't like uncertainty,

(16:36):
you know how, we always are trying to figure things out.
This is the reason. So when you get a light
bulb moment, when you can come up with a solution
to a problem, your brain actually gives you a shot
of dopamine, which is I feel good. And so it
literally does not matter if it's a good solution or
a bad solution to the problem, You're still going to
get the dopamine. And the bigger the thing, the bigger

(16:59):
we make it out to, the more dopamine we get.
And so an example is like if you're feeling fear,
and so you're trying to ask and you're trying to
ask the question, what's going to happen? We don't like that,
you know, because we probably have stress hormones being released
in that area, and so we want to get some
dopamines where like, we have to figure this out. And

(17:20):
something that some of us might be saying is the
world is going to end. Right, the world is going
to end. All of us are gonna lose our jobs,
everybody's going to become homeless, and where to become extinct. Well,
when you say that, your body gets a shot of
dopamine because you figure it out. Okay, I know, And
so the problem with that is five seconds later you're

(17:41):
going to be thinking something else. So I want to
encourage people if they can. That's why the uncertainty is
hard to sit in. But if you're not able to
sit in that at all, there's always an option to
think of something that is probably not as morbid. There's
a more positive way to think. And so if you're
going to ask the what's going to happen, it's simple

(18:02):
as like it's gonna be okay. I don't know how
it's gonna end, but it's gonna be okay. Okay, So
is it like you tell I'm just thinking of what
I would do if I was trying to put this
into practice, like if I was trying if I was uncertain,
and then I was trying to think about, okay, well
what's going to happen. I'll be like, well, everybody's gonna
take this social distancing seriously. We're gonna flatten the curve.

(18:23):
We're going to slow this thing down. Doctors are going
to figure it out, and then you know, we're going
to get past this and it's just going to be
this crazy part in history where it's like that happened
and some lives were lost and it was really scary,
but we're all okay now, yes, yeah, yes, and so like, yeah,
you did it. I created a story that was the true.

(18:43):
It's a narrative, like it's intasically right, but I just
told my brain that's what's going to happen. Yes, And
so you're gonna have to do that a million times
because it's still going to come up. And that's where
it's like you have to It's kind of confusing. You
have to be okay with the idea that we don't
actually really know the answer. But if you're going to
make an answer up anyway, go that way, go with

(19:04):
what you just said, rather than everything's going to be
ruined and we're all going to catch on fire. And yeah,
and so you're still going to get the dopamine. It
might not be as drawing, but it's still going to
come a little bit, and you might just have to
keep doing that over and over and over and then
go you go back to your personal facts, because those
are facts, which are the five that you share at
the end of the first thing. Okay, so what about

(19:27):
self care? Like after we tell ourselves are a cute
little ferry down and then we need to take care
of ourselves, what's the difference between self care and self maintenance?
And why are both of those things important? Well? Can
I quit? You sure? What do you if you were
to define self care? What would you say? Oh? Man, well,

(19:48):
I mean I know how I hashtag self care, So
I guess that would be making sure I get enough
sleep and would be working out, trying to feed my
body with nourishing foods, of a mask on my face,
washing my face every night. So those are routine. Those
are examples, but like, oh, what would you what would

(20:13):
you say? What is it? Oh, it's making sure that
you take time for yourself. That's going to make you
feel better. To me, all those things to make me
feel better totally. So I encourage two things when it
comes to like self care ish. One is self care

(20:33):
and then another thing is self maintenance. And the reason
that I've separated them is because they can get interwoven
and the self care becomes a chore and then people
don't ever want to do it. So self care I
define as something you do to express unconditional love and
attention to yourself. And like having your husband take the
kids on spring Brinkdad, Yes, and you get your one

(20:54):
week in the last two years to just more than
two years to just recover and be especially when you're
have to be extroverted all the time and you're kind
of and you are an introvert. Yeah, that's what self care.
The expectation of self care is just to be kind.
That's it literally, So like that was you being kind

(21:17):
to yourself. Like I woke up this morning and made
my tea and read a book. I started again. Brent
this a long time ago, but Burnet Browns staring greatly,
and I sat on the couch with my little nug
and I read like that was me being kind to myself.
So that was self care. That self care, Yeah, so
we need that. So here's the other part self maintenance.

(21:40):
Self maintenance is doing things to just maintain yourself. So
sometimes they can be self care ish, but a lot
of things that I do to maintain myself I don't
actually like to do, so I don't call them self care.
So is that working out? Because I put now in
the self care hair category? But that's probably Do you

(22:02):
like it? Sometimes? Sometimes I don't, but I know that
I'll feel better if I do it, So I guess
that's maintenance. Yes, yes, Because for example, a lot of
people when they say they give me examples of what
they do for self care, they'll like, I go get
a manicure. I do not like going to get my
nails done. I get I have them done all the

(22:23):
time because people look at my hands all the time,
and if I don't, then I'm going to bite my
nails all day when I'm in session. And so for me,
it's part of a self maintenance practice. I don't enjoy it,
and it doesn't like feel good, it's not relaxing. I
do love the lady that does my nails, she's wonderful,
but it's not self care. And so for some people
it would be. For me, it's self maintenance. So does

(22:44):
that say yes? So depending on you, Yeah, that's gonna
be what is maintenance to you and what it is care? Yes.
So for example, like for getting into food, I love
eating vegetables and I like and kale. I love kale.
A lot of people don't like it. So I would

(23:05):
never say, like, oh, go eat a nutritious, like healthy
bowl of veggies. Is gonna make you feel really good
to somebody who doesn't really enjoy eating those foods, because
that wouldn't be self care. That would be maintenance of
like I need these nutrients because it fuels my body.
Does that make sense in that way? Well, I had
to put eating a nutritious meal and self care, but
I would keep it there for me. Yeah, And for me,

(23:26):
I would keep maintenance for some of something else. So
right now we need both like more than ever. And
so I think I would love to hear your experience,
But sometimes I can feel kind of guilty taking care
of myself, but right now is one of especially as
a mom, and that's why again I'll bring up why
this week was so important to me, But even reading

(23:49):
the book with the tea this morning on the couch
with nobody around and nobody saying mom, mom, Mom, mom.
And I feel guilty saying that because we adopted, and
for years I wanted to get pregnant and didn't, and
then it took years for us to bring our children
home from Haiti, and all I wanted to hear was mom.

(24:12):
That's all I wanted to hear. It was mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.
And now that I've got it, I want I need
a little break from it. But I don't mean it
in Ah. I do feel bad when I say that
out loud. I know there's a lot of people that
don't have the opportunity for a break. There's a lot
of single moms out there. They're like, what, You've got

(24:34):
a husband that's taking your kids break for a week,
And so I feel grateful for the time, but I
feel guilty saying it out loud. But that goes back
to number one of like they can have their feelings
and I can have my feelings. I see where this is,
so then that would be myself care, but also maintenance.

(24:56):
Sometimes they can be the same, Okay. The reason that like,
I think working out for me would be both, and
they would probably maybe on the day foot flops. But
the reason to distinguish them is I don't want anybody
ever to tell themselves that they're practicing self care. But
it feels like a chore, and so maintenance to me
feel like a chore. So that makes sense, and right

(25:20):
now we need we need both of them because this
is one of the most high stress times that we
will ever go through in our lifetime worldwide, Like if
we look at from like top down, and so now
more than ever we need self care and self maintenance.
I follow Mel Robbins's She's so great, and she was saying, yes,

(25:42):
now is the time, more than ever that we need
to be moving our bodies. So to talk about working
out being maybe for somebody's self care and for somebody
else self maintenance, Well we need both right now. So
that includes you moving your body every single day, no
matter what, and like that, even if it's just thirty
minutes walking the dog or it doesn't have to be

(26:03):
this high intensity workout. But she used an example I
think of that she didn't even want to do anything
that day, but then she used her five second role,
which is her thing is like count five, four, three
to one, do it, like just don't give yourself any excuses,
count to five, do it, and then when you're done
the thing, you'd be like, okay, but why is it

(26:25):
so important for us to be moving our bodies during this?
I'm so glad you said this because I'm going to
tell you a story about a deer. So when you
have you ever almost hit a deer? Yes? Okay? And
have you did you like see the like I can?
I mean we've all seen a movie where they're either okay,
So this is what animals like deer do when they

(26:48):
get scared. They have that experience. What happens when you
get scared is your threat response comes at that flight
fight flight or freeze that comes. When that comes, your
body shoots through your self or being cortisol and adrenaline
stress hormones. The deer will then run into the woods,
go somewhere secret, and like convulsively shake their body. Have

(27:11):
you heard about this? Okay? So what they're what do
you think they're doing trying to people. They have all
this stuff that's been released and they're probably trying to
like their body is processing it, they're discharging the energy
of the emotions. And so one why it's so important
to go back to the first thing you're talking about
to acknowledge the fact that we have feelings, because this
is what humans do when humans get scared. And this

(27:34):
goes all into like, this is what we're talking about,
is trauma really because this time that went in right now,
it's traumatic, like for all of us. And so when
humans experienced trauma, which I define as anything less than nurturing,
So this experience is not really nurturing, right. So when

(27:54):
we have these experiences every day, whether it's like we
read a new article on something that's how being in
the world, or we had a conversation that was hard
or whatever it is, or we just like woke up
to the fact that we have no idea what's going
to happen. We're getting that same thing that the deer
gets when it almost gets hit. But what humans do
is they tents up. Like we phrase, we hold it in.

(28:17):
We don't go shake it out. Oh is working out
as shaking it out? Yeah? And so and so yeah,
and so, like it doesn't even have when you talk
about movement, it doesn't even have to be like a
walk or doing it at home, workout video or whatever
it is. It can literally be you like pacing around
your house shaking your arms. Like when I used to work.

(28:39):
I used to work in a residential treatment center. Yesterday,
I was talking to a client and I was like,
what are you doing? And she was like, I'm freaking out.
And I was like, stand up, and she was like okay,
And I was like, shake your hands. And she's like okay,
and that's all she did. She just like shook her hands.
And what you're doing is you're discharging the stress hormones.
And so that is what is why working out and movement,

(29:00):
it is what I like to call it is so
important right now, Okay, that could be maintenance or something
you're like, I'm gonna shake it out. Um and so yeah,
and there is and we I can post something, you
can post something. There are so many resources that people
are putting out right now around this, yes, working out,

(29:20):
like yeah, free moving, yeah, like just shaking, there's a
lot of online shaking resources. I mean, it could be anything,
but like if people are like, I know a lot
of us are actually freaking out because we can't go
to the gym. Yes, well, so Bobby who if you're

(29:46):
listening to this, you're likely a Bobby Bones show listener.
But I've learned that some of you are not, so
I should not just assume. But he owns some boxing
gyms and Title Nashville, and I think the instagram is
at Title nash and they're doing live class is free.
You don't have to be a member of the gym,
like you can just follow them on Instagram and you
can take a boxing class. You don't even have to
have all this stuff at home, but they'll walk you

(30:07):
through that. My trainer, Aaron Opria, she's been doing She
did alive workout I think today, but that was for
Tornado relief, so I think you had to get a ticket.
But she also has an app that's super cheap called
Pretty Muscles. And then I have some YouTube stuff that
I use, like Tracy Anderson's on YouTube and yoga with
Adrian What do you I'm a huge fan. Do you

(30:30):
know who Derek Billips is? He's a natural. He started
City Fit Concierge and his Instagram is bodied by Billops,
but he's doing like online group workouts through Zoom. Oh yeah,
and so and figure out how to do like personal
training through that too, if that's something. But I think
get Fit six one five they're offering all online classes.

(30:52):
Like everybody's kind of doing what they can do. Oh
and my friend Jackie, she teaches yoga at Hot Yoga
East Nashville, and she popped up on my live Instagram
this morning I was doing just did on her personal instagram,
like did a whole like yoga flow this morning. So yeah,
I think that there there's there's options, And that goes
back to the first thing of like it's not going

(31:13):
to feel normal. It's not going to be like you're
going to the gym. The experience is different, but we're
doing the best we can with what we have. And
then another thing I do want to add about the
self care part is something I like to call greet
the day kind of like get dressed for how you
want to feel. I know, for me, I usually wear
leggings in a sweatshirt anyway to work, so that's really nice.

(31:35):
But like if you usually work in a space where
like every morning you like getting up and and doing
your hair and putting an outfit together, like still do that?
Like you if that that can be self care for you.
And so just because you're not leaving the house doesn't
mean you don't get to do that. I had a
client walk into my office this week with like purple
eyed shadow and all this, and she was I was like, oh, hey,

(31:56):
she's like I decided to greet the day Katherine. She
was like, why not? I have nowhere to go? Why
not do this? And I was like okay, And her
whole attitude was a little bit different. So yeah, okay,
that's good advice. And that's is that self care and
self maintenance. Well, like we're still debating this now. If

(32:17):
you like doing that, I don't like every single it
is self maintenance for me. If I have to actually
like get ready and put a whole thing together. Again,
it's very very first, but you need both. So every
day we can't be in our pajama pants and every
single day because we're gonna start to feel like lethargic
and lazy. And so even like you know the experience
of like putting on a workout outfit is like the

(32:38):
first step to like getting out the door it's like, Okay,
I don't want to feel like I'm not doing anything today,
so I'm gonna put on jeans instead of leggings today. Yeah,
you know, like I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna
brush my I'm gonna comb my hair. Awesome. Okay. So
the third thing I want to get into, so we're
going to talk about next is um those of us

(33:00):
that are missing family and friends that we cannot see
right now. And I know that's a lot of you listening,
so we'll do that next. Okay, So Katherine, let's talk
about family and friends because a lot of people cannot
see legit family members or friends during this time, and
you know when you hear on the news that it

(33:22):
could be months before that happens. That's that's a really
hard thing to process. So what is your advice to
us on that? Right? This is interesting because we just
talked about this last week, but attachment and how I
was like, relationships are the most important part of human
healing and all we're created to be in relationship, and

(33:42):
now it seems like that's kind of being ripped apart
from us. And so for the people that feel because
there's different levels of isolation here, right, So I'm not
completely isolated. I'm not quarantine. I haven't been like some
people can't leave their house and can't go anywhere and
they live alone and that's all they can do is
use a computer. I live with a roommate, so I

(34:02):
have that face based connection. So that's a little bit
of a different experience. And then I don't know what
you're right now, you're by yourself, but hopefully my family.
And then yeah, but I am cut off from my dad.
Literally don't know the next time that I'll see him,
and I just have to trust that his assistant living
home is taking great care of him. A fear that

(34:23):
I have is, oh my gosh, what if my dad
catches coronavirus and I haven't been able to see him
and then something happens tragic. Okay in my brain, I
just went there. He doesn't make it and I couldn't
see him because I couldn't be near him. And my
dramatic scene that I've had in my head before, like
the entire assist a living thing goes down like they're all.

(34:45):
I get a call been infected. I know, So why
don't you practice this is before you gave me that
tool calmed down like this one. This is so yesterday. Um,
now I would be like, Wow, we're going to get
through this. He stay super healthy. I trust that they're
doing everything that they can to keep their residents safe,
and he's going to be fine and he's going to

(35:06):
come over one day. But I just don't know when
that is right. And you couldn't even like it doesn't
even have to be because some people might struggle with
I can't even go as far as you went, because
that was really positive and that was really great, but
some people might be like, I can't hold onto that.
So it can be as simple as like I don't
know what's going to happen with my dad, but today
everything is okay with him. It could be that simple too,

(35:28):
But I mean, yours was great. I'm just offering for
people tracking back to yeah, anyway, back to back to like,
what what do we do? Connection? This? Yes, connection that
we is kind of interrupted at the moment, right, So
I think one thing is how do we make some
kind of meaning out of this? So have you heard
of the book Man Search for Meaning? Okay, so this guy,

(35:50):
Victor Frankel wrote it and it talks about how collectively,
the people who survived the Holocaust, where people I'm not
really trying to compare this to that, but the people
that survived it, the commonality that they had was they
created purpose out of their circumstances. And so in this situation, Okay,

(36:12):
I can't see my dad right now, what could be
a purpose in what's going on for me in this moment?
I can answer that. For me is I have become
so immensely grateful for little baby things that I totally
had taken for granted two weeks ago, which is a
good thing of like, if I can find some gratitude

(36:32):
out of this, So that's the first step. So for
you two weeks ago, what's something that you're grateful for
today that you wouldn't have probably named. You're right in
the middle of our four things gratitude challenge. So I've
been finding all the things to be grateful for because
I've had to think of four things every single day. Like,
we couldn't have planned this gratitude challenge challenge more perfectly.
We we decided, like back in January, were going to

(36:54):
do it in March. Of course, we had no idea
the crazy times that we would be in but that's
been were helpful for me. But that aside, I would
think that, you know, I take my phone for granted,
like being able to talk to my dad FaceTime, for granted,
being able to face time with him, Oh my gosh.
But but because I got him my dad one of
those Amazon show, the Echo show, like the with the

(37:16):
screen so he so he doesn't feel alone. He can
now just be on that screen and be in our
living room with us. And it's it's got a different
field than just holding up your phone and being on FaceTime.
So if I were seeing him, if I was still
able to see him every day, I wouldn't be as
thankful for the technology that we have because I've probably
just been like, oh, wow, it's so cool to live

(37:38):
in twenty we've got technology. But now I'm like, wow,
could you imagine? I couldn't imagine going through this without technology,
because it's like just like the way we live like
it is like it's not a big deal because you
see it every day, almost like we've been like habituated
to these things that actually are very meaningful to us.

(37:58):
The example is like walking into work, were habituated to
the fact that like every day when I walk into work.
I see this person in this office and this person
in this office, and I wave and smile to them.
Not a big deal. I don't think it's that big
of a deal. Well, I would really like to walk
into work on Monday and see if human face to
face and wave and smile at them. Does that make
sense of like these things we're being like woken up

(38:21):
to the fact that they are really meaningful to us.
And so part of this whole section that we're talking
about is like, Okay, how can I find some purpose
and some meaning in some different kind of gratitude and
where I am That's the first part. And then also
knowing that again going back to number one, it's not
going to be normal. We can't make this feel like

(38:44):
it did three weeks ago. We can only do the
best we can. What are some ways that we can
stay connected the best we can with the people that
we love, like your dad. You already named some things,
but this is where we get done with him. Yeah,
and this is already really creative order that Amazon because
the it he told me he felt isolated and lonely.
I was like, I think I went on Instagram Stories

(39:06):
and just said, hey, do you all have any suggestions
on what I could do to be connected with my dad,
and the number one response that I got was Amazon Show.
And I got other ones too. I got other suggestions like, well,
you know FaceTime or Zoom or you know, different things,
but I kept getting Amazon Show. We love it, Amazon Show,
we love it. So I ordered it. And that's something

(39:29):
I would have not have ever ordered for him before.
And its school because he can use it and he
can be like, hey, Alexa, play uh little fires everywhere
for me now on Hulu, like yeah, I don't know,
you can use it for other things. Like It's a
cool little thing that he'll have and hopefully he has
throw issues. My concern is that sometimes if he's like

(39:50):
hey Alexa, call Amy, that she might be like I
can't understand you and like dang it. But yeah, I
mean that's something that I've done to keep that connection.
That is an intentional move that I made to be
connected to him, knowing that it's not going to be
we have to get out of our minds. It's not
going to be exactly how we want it to be,

(40:11):
just like the working out, just like everything else, and
so let's get really creative. And I would recommend people
don't cancel things, like don't cancel things. Don't cancel your meeting,
do it on zoom. Don't cancel that your happy hour
that you go to every Wednesday night with your friends,
do it from your house, Like don't cancel FaceTime, yeah, yes, yeah,

(40:34):
And like don't like therapy, Like don't cancel your therapy appointment.
Like we now have like free Reign to use all
these virtual components to see people see clients from from afar. Now,
don't cancel it. If that's important to you, don't cancel
it and just get creative. What are things that you're like, Okay,
this is something that I can do to still hang

(40:55):
out with so and so that I used to see
every Tuesday at wherever you go. Well, I was texting
with my friend Gracie and she was speaking of happy hour.
She was like, we have another friend Natalie. She's like,
we're thinking of doing a virtual happy hour. I'll text
you when we set the time, and then she sent
like a little wine and phone emoji because that was
our I was like, yeah, let me know the time.
So we haven't done that, but we're in talks to it.

(41:18):
She may have gotten it. By the time this airs,
but and my sister too. I went ahead because of
the Zoom or not the Zoom the Amazon show. It
was like something that I thought would be cool. I
sent one to my sister and so she can also
do it with my dad, and then sent one to
Mary so that she can be in contact with us

(41:38):
and we have meet like Mary and I meet about
SPA and of course we used FaceTime, but I just
thought also too would be a good gift and she
can like the kids would love that too. They'd be
like Alexa all Mary and it'll video or um. So
it's like buying something which people not everybody could do.
What like what are your well? So the happy hour

(41:58):
thing that you said is think it's great. Another thing
that I've started with my have a group chat with
my six best well five best friends with me six people.
But every morning we do like little checkens now because
we aren't seeing each other as much, and so every
yesterday the check in was how do you feel mentally?
How do you feel around your work today? And then

(42:19):
how does your body feel physically? And then everybody went
through and answered that, and then today I said, I
asked the like, what are you grateful for that you
weren't grateful for two weeks ago, and then everybody answered that.
And so every morning we're doing like a different check
in just to like still maintain some kind of every day.
We're not seeing each other anymore, but we have our
reason to wake up and talk to each other. And

(42:40):
so that's one thing, and it gets us able to
feel our feelings. Um well, it's good. Also, this is
a good idea too, of things that I can amazon
show my sister and be like hey, like and have
a quick little video chat with her of like, let's
do this every day and share Mary and I kind
already do what we're thankful were but something I could

(43:00):
do with my sister has come up with something that
we do every day because she's going through I know
it's hard for her. I mean, she has a small
business in Colorado and they had to basically let go
of seven employees because they didn't need them full time
anymore their coffee shop, and they don't have as many
customers at all, so I think they just kept two

(43:21):
on like, and so that was like really hard, and
I've been trying to think of like how I'm not there.
I can't help her. How can I not just stay
connected with her, but how can I help her? Like
I want to be able to help, but that that
is help because you say, calling her insane, how are
you feeling today? Gives her permission to unload what she's

(43:42):
probably been trying to hold together because she has to
take care of everything for her business and she might
not have a video like show me shake your arms
starting everything, Like, yes, I can video her and be
like let's just quick, you know, five minute dance exactly.

(44:03):
So that was the next thing I was going to
say because me and my friend Kellen started We were
talking on I think it was Monday. We were like,
she said something like I wish you could do something something,
and I was like, I can't. I'm coming over tonight.
So we created this thing called the Quarantine Challenge, and
it is it's been really fun, but what it really

(44:24):
is is it's an email that you're going to get
every single day and it has like a message from
me and then a challenge and then everybody. Most people
have joined a Facebook group and so the challenges have
been different. But today the challenge is to learn what
do we call this like a trendy dance like the
wop or the whatever's trending on TikTok, but likeever yes, yeah, yeah,

(44:45):
where it could be one from like back in the day,
but like learn a dance and videos yourself doing it
and like send it to a friend or something. But
like it's getting you one movie, but it's also getting
you connected because we're creating this like community of people.
So everybody on this Facebook group is talking to everybody
to day of like what did you do with a
challenge or whatever it is. Everybody is getting the same email,

(45:07):
so everybody feels like they're kind of like learning new
things every day. And so that's what I mean of
like getting creative. Like there's people from New York and
California and Rhode Island in this group. I don't know them.
Now I'm going to start to get to know them,
but it's like get creative, Like we made this thing
up on Monday night and now we have all these
yeah yeah, and so yeah that's fine. So you guys

(45:27):
can join that. So if you go to my Instagram
and you click the link, there's a button says just
says like joining Quarantine challenge. So at three chords, yes, yes, sorry,
At three Chords Therapy and then click click the link
in my bio and then click the wet and says
joint Quarantine Challenge perfect. And then another thing that I

(45:49):
was like I have been. I bought a box of
letters the other like three months ago. I've been meaning
to write handwritten letters for months and now I'm like, Okay,
I am not me in this instant gratification land of
I get to talk to these people every day. But
back in the day before phones, people wrote letters and
they felt connected. So let me try that and so

(46:11):
write letters. You know how good it feels to get
a letter in the mail. Yeah, okay, that is something
that I probably should take up. But I'm just not
good at writing. But I did have Ali fallon on
my friend Ali and she is on Instagram and she
has a podcast too called find your Voice or Finding
your Voice, and she's just a huge fan of writing

(46:36):
for anything, for anything, like five minutes a day, and
how therapeutic that can be. But since I don't feel
good at writing us, I don't feel good at like
writing letters to people, but that this could be my
time to practice that. Well, I would wonder, like, how
are you not good at writing a letter to somebody. Well,
I just don't feel that I am. Is that me

(46:56):
telling a lie to myself? It might be because I
think if you wrote me a letter and it said, hey, cat,
just sat down, it's Saturday afternoon, blah blah blah, I
hope you're doing well. Just wanted to let you know
them thinking of you. I like I'd be like, oh
my gosh, she sat down and wrote this letter to me.
I'm going to save it in this box. Like I

(47:17):
wouldn't be like, oh, she's a horrible writer. Like I
would never think that she's a letter. Yeah. I don't
get it this. Yeah, okay, all right, okay. So let's
talk productivity and why it's so important during this quarantine time.
So this is a more practical thing. And I know

(47:38):
a lot of people are. I hear them being kind
of concerned around the fact that they're not used to
working from home. It's a different It's hard for to
keep it going, coming up with the schedule and making
sure you're still getting all your stuff done right. And
I know my experience is if I am working from
home and I'm on the couch or I'm like in

(47:59):
my bed, I like, we'll go I'll go to sleep,
like I just can't do it. And so I think
that first and foremost is if you are working from
home right now, create a space that is your workspace.
So it is not your bed, it's not your couch,
it's not where you eat dinner, per se. Like create
a space that is like your workspace. So for me,

(48:21):
my laundry room is being converted into an office right
now currently. And I talked to somebody who is doing
virtual therapy yesterday and she was in her closet and
I was like, okay, like this gets to be your
therapy space. Also, you need to like do something with
this because right now it feels like you're in like
a hole. So put something on the wall, put some

(48:42):
pellows in there, bring a candle in there with you,
like create space that feels good where you could do
the work that you would normally do anywhere else. Yeah,
makes sense. And then the other thing is I talk
about this with people all the time, regardless of anything,
because a lot of us talk about I don't have
motivation in or I can't do that because I just

(49:03):
don't ever feel like it. And something that I say
often is we don't actually need motivation, like you're not.
Actually that's not what you need. We want it because
we want to be motivated to do something. But what
would happen if you removed the word motivation and put
in there this is important to me or this is
not important to me? So, for example, what's something that

(49:26):
you haven't felt motivated to do? Well? I'm really proud
of myself for starting to read. I have done audio
books recently and then just end up watching a lot
of Netflix. But I haven't not been doing books, but
I've just been consuming, like I said, audio, but sitting
down and actually reading something I moved into my this

(49:47):
is important to me list, which only happened today because
of this situation. Otherwise that has been put on the
back burner. So that's an example of something I know
that I moved over to. This is important to me.
I feel like my work has still been getting done,
and I know I go into the studio to record,
but a lot of my work I already do from home.

(50:10):
Besides just the actual talking to a microphone part, which
now I'm doing from home, I have there's something to
do when I do them at home already, so I
don't feel like that parts changed for me. Is there
something in your life that you have been meaning to do?
But yeah, read? Okay, okay, so that okay, we'll just
go with that. I'm not joking, like that's been something
that forever weighing on me of like, gosh, I just

(50:33):
want to read, and I've got to find a way.
Even with the kids back home, I was able to
track it open with them gone, but even with them home,
I have to find that time because it's good for me,
it's good for my brain. It gives me the space
or something about it that feels really good. But I
don't know the last i'd say, good, what is it?

(50:57):
Eight years? I don't sit down and read anymore. And
maybe that's because of the convenience of audio. And I
don't think there's anything wrong with consuming audio books by
any means, but I have to say, for me, there
is something about sitting down with a good book. It's
a different experience. It's totally different. And I noticed a
difference in how quickly I take things in and out

(51:19):
once I start exercising that muscle in my brain, Like
I just am sharper with things other things that have
nothing to do when I read. But because I'm doing,
giving my brain that that that's an example of legit
that you actually did that I actually did it, and
I want to keep doing it. So the example that
I always give is because I'm like you, like I

(51:41):
can get a lot of things done that I say
that I want, but there are some things that never
get done. And so when I started using this, I
started saying, like, for example, dishes in the sink, like
I don't think that I will ever find motivation to
clean my house. I would just never be motivated to
do it, Like I just will never to go do that.

(52:01):
And at the same time, it is very important to
me to not be disgusting, you know, Like it's really
important to me to not have ants crawling all in
my sink, you know, And so I have to change
I'm not motivated to do the dishes too. If I
were to say it's not important to me to do
the dishes, that wouldn't fit. And so I have to
say I'm not motivated and it's important to me, and

(52:22):
so I need to do what's important to me. Otherwise
it's like it again, a way of invalidating yourselves. Okay,
what about how I need to really organize all the
drawers in my bathroom. But also that doesn't make me
disgusting that totally, but I know stuff needs to be
thrown now, I know it's kind So why is it
important to you? It's not, but because there's the thing.

(52:46):
I guess. No, I'm just trying to think because yeah,
I can understand your dishes in the sink. You don't
want to be discussing, so that's important to me, like
I want to. I just feel when things are tidy
or organized, I feel better and feeling good is important
to me. Is that is that what I hearing that
I need to do it? Because I'm still putting that off,
like I'll find a way to go read now that

(53:08):
if I if I don't have to organize my my
bathroom dwars because what I hear in that is it's
important to me to not like feel chaotic. Yes, and yeah,
and okay, when you put it that way, that is different.
So that's I think I would I'm like that too, off,
like I'm really not organized, Like I don't want to

(53:29):
be with you. I don't want to be disgusting, But
nothing about being unorganized organized gross to me, So I'm
less motivated to do it. But when I do say
it's important to me to feel what would you say
to feel note not feel chaotic? Calm calm. Yeah. So
now suddenly I'm ready to wrap this podcast up so

(53:50):
we can go organize my back it WORB. And so
that's the first thing I would say to people was
like start changing their language around things of like I'm
I hear all the time, I'm just not motivated to
like do my work today. Okay, Well is it not
important to you? If they say, like, no, it's not
like okay, is getting a paycheck so you can pay
your rent important to you? And so like there's a

(54:11):
way you can find these And if the answer is
like this is not important to me, then also ask yourself,
why are you doing it? You know you need to
get Maybe you don't need to do this. Climate I
was going to say, maybe it's time for you to
look for a different job, but not and keep it.
If you're still getting a pace check, let's keep that.
But there's little things that I'm like, I'm not motivated
to do that, And then I'm like, it really isn't
important to me, So I'm not going to put that

(54:32):
on my list today. Okay, that makes sense. So what's
important to you doesn't have to be it's important to me.
If somebody works great in chaos, great, they don't need
to organize their cautinance. And again I'm having like you're speaking,
and I kind of felt like I just made light
of like if you have a job, keep it, and
I immediately felt guilty after having and of course we
were making a joke, but it's serious right now. And

(54:54):
then my heart instantly went towards people that might be
listening to this that literally just law their job or
they don't have it and they're trying to figure out
what to do from home. And I guess even if
you're in that and you're looking for something or you're wondering,
literally how am I going to pay the bills and
the rent, it's probably still just as important to maintain

(55:15):
some sort of productivity working towards what whatever this new
chapter is gonna look like, and still creating those lists
of like what can I still do? Because there we
have to have hope that again back to the beginning
of what narratives are we can create, and it's like

(55:35):
the story that I want people, if they're in that
position to tell themselves, is I'm going to come out
of this stronger, I'm going to get my job back.
You know, maybe for some people would be like, wow, okay,
this took me out of that job. But maybe that's
because it's going to finally, you know, motivate me to
do this entrepreneurial type situation that I was too scared

(55:58):
to do in the first place, but now I forced
to force to do it. Or this is going to
force people to get creative and think outside the box,
or you know, finally send them to do something that
used to seem scary but now it's suddenly and necessary. Yeah.
I just felt like I needed to clarify because, well,
I think it's okay to have humor and light moments,

(56:19):
especially in such heavy times. I didn't I needed to
address that because it's not lost on me that some
people might be listening to this that are like in
a different space. Yes, and again, we're all having different experiences,
so there's not one answer that will fit for everybody.
And at the same time, what you said, maybe I
lost my job, or if I do some kind of
freelance work, I have less work to do. Well, you

(56:41):
can still wake up and do something, there's still something
for you to do, and so we get to create
what that is. So if you do have more free
time now, you might not want that free time. That's okay,
acknowledge the fact that you don't want that free time.
At the same time, I asked somebody the other day
if you could do anything because she lost the work
she was doing, and I said, okay, so right now,

(57:01):
like you don't really have another option. So if you
could do anything with the next we don't know how
long we're gonna be here, what would you want to do?
And she said, you know what, I want to fall
in love And I was like, she was like, that's
not what you're asking, is it. And I was like no,
And what I hearing that is that relationships are really
important to you. And so like, let's look at every day.
How do you wake up and ask yourself? How do

(57:23):
I work on my relationships today? And so that's not
ideal for her. She'd rather be waking up and saying,
how am I going to go play? I don't know
what she plays, but like I'm gonna go do that.
But she didn't have that, and so this is this
other option. And so again it's not ideal, and then
what can you do with it? And at the same time,
there's more Can I go back to the okay? No, absolutely,
And I only detoured to that too acknowledge it because

(57:48):
it felt like it was important. And then to be
sensitive to the fact that I don't want to apologize
for like being like, okay, if you got a job.
I can't remember exactly what I said, but I'm laughing
and instantly having like a heavy reaction of like, oh shoot,
I could have just offended somebody with that. And we
can't live in a world where we constantly feel like
we're apologizing for what we say. But I do want

(58:08):
this podcast to be a place where people never feel
alone and they feel like it's safe to listen to.
And so I just thought, Okay, I'm I'm feeling this
real quick. So I'm just gonna say it and see
what Katherine has to say, because I know that you're
sensitive to that too, and we're not ignoring that that obviously,
we've addressed that that's a real situation and it's a
real fear that's happening, and it's I mentioned how my

(58:31):
sister just had to lay off several people and it's
it's really hard. I have I have friends that don't
know where their next paycheck is going to come from
because of the industry that they work in. We have
families that were working with the Tornado relief that we
started working with before coronavirus hit, and they were left
homeless because of the tornado, but they still had jobs

(58:54):
and they could get back on their feet if we
could just help them. And we're working through Home Street Home,
which is a homeless ministry, And now that coronavirus is said, well,
guess what these women did for work. They were in
the service industry, waiting tables, bartending, even at multiple restaurants,
like they had ways to bring in money. And now
it's like, oh great, we lost everything in the tornado

(59:15):
and now we don't have jobs because the restaurants shut down.
So your question, yeah, what are you feeling. I'm feeling. Well,
first it was like I feel I feel like a
lot of things. It's hard for me to narrow that down. Bad.
I feel heaviness for anybody in that situation. I feel
guilty maybe that I have a job. Honestly, like I

(59:38):
feel like here I am and my microphone still getting
my paycheck and kind of I don't even feel like
I was making a joke like it. It wasn't, but
I was saying I kind of was light about something
that is very heavy. I don't think I made a
I don't even I couldn't even categorize as that, but
I was kind of laughing at like, well, so it's

(59:59):
probably a time if got a job, you better keep it, like,
don't switch your job, when I just felt instantly felt
for someone that might be listening or like kidding, like
I don't even have a job right now, you know.
So to two things. One, we can't be heavy all
the time. And I know some of the stuff on
social media can be really offensive with some of the

(01:00:19):
memes that the stuff is really affecting people. And at
the same time, there are people that might have lost
their job that needs something to laugh about. And so, okay,
well I can throw an example in there. It's not
as heavy as losing a job. But I had to
celebrate my birthday last week, and my birthday plans got canceled.
I was supposed to go to Austin. I was supposed

(01:00:40):
to meet Burnee Brown. Yeah, I was supposed to meet
Mary there. My husband had planned a whole surprise too
with like my high school friends, my friends Andrean Django
and Luke and stuff. I don't even know about it,
but I found out afterwards was going to happen, which
was going to be special, and that got all squashed.
Then I'm back here and like nobody can get together.
But Bobby was nice enough to have me over with
him and a girlfriend, and I'm already exposed to him

(01:01:01):
because I worked with him every day. So but it
was still like social distancing and weird. It's just a
weird day and that. But there was memes or there
still is, like if you have a birthday in March
and April, it was like this meme of El Chapo,
like alone, it's like in prison and alone on a
swing and alone, and it was it was funny, It

(01:01:23):
was made laugh. It was also sad because there are
some people that really maybe you didn't even have the
option to go over to their friend Bobby's house forever day,
like they were literally alone because of it, and but
it probably was still funny to them, So you're right,
like the memes can be helpful comic relief, But then
you know Bobby will make a joke because he doesn't

(01:01:45):
have a lot of family at all, and he's like, well,
now all you'll know how I feel on Christmas Day.
I'm always alone when everybody feels like they have something
going on, and you know, restaurants are closed down, and
it's the one day of year where he's like googling
if places are open and if you can get take out.
He's like, what are y'all are experiencing during this social distancing?

(01:02:08):
Is what I kind of like my life? Yeah, every holiday, right,
and so yeah, I want to offer in that is
you can have two emotions at once. So yeah, we
can be sad and also think something's funny, Like we
can be angry and also be grateful like you can
have to the other part is like you noticing your
feeling of whether it was we'll go with guilt of okay,

(01:02:29):
I felt We feel guilt when we think that we
did something wrong, So that leaves you to what you need.
I felt like I did something wrong. I need to
apologize for it, so I don't sit around in my
feelings of guilt somewhere all day long. So that was
just a little in real time example of what happens
when you acknowledge your emotions. Okay, but back to the

(01:02:52):
context you're looking That was the fourth thing. Yeah, welcome
to the podcasting or any conversation with me that typically
getting derailed. It's fun. What I would these are the
things that I would suggest just anybody do in order
to get stuff done every single morning. Again going back
to greet the day. If you usually greet the day,
wake up and greet the day, get ready for the day.

(01:03:14):
If you usually work out on Tuesday's Thursday, still wake
up at that time and do your workout. If you
have coffee at six am, wake up and have your coffee,
and make a list, like make a list of things
that you want to get done, and then like, of course,
what I always do is like which are the things
that have to be get done and which are the
things that I want to get done, and then know
that like it doesn't all have to get done, Like

(01:03:35):
you don't have to do everything. And I know for me,
I don't know if you feel this way. I know
for me, when I make a list and I'm like
this everything has to be done, or if I'm going
to clean my house, if I think I have to
clean the whole thing, I will never do it ever,
because that seems huge to me. So I will one
I'll put a timer on. I'll say fifteen minutes. Clean
what you can in fifteen minutes, or if I'm doing

(01:03:58):
my laundry, fold your socks, like rather than having to
do it all. Sometimes I'll do more than that. But
I think splitting things up so you aren't doing everything
at once can be really helpful right now, taking breaks
and then you can't probably get up and like walk
around outside, but get up and walk to the front
of your door. Well some people can, Yeah, you can

(01:04:18):
go outside, just practice actual distancing. Yeah, And then I
would encourage people to create if you do feel a
lot of stress and chaos right now, like wake up
and create a practice for yourself. There are so many
like headspace is an app right now that is offering
I'm pretty sure this is true for free right now,
like meditations and ways for you to calm yourself. There's

(01:04:39):
an app called Calm that has a free version of it,
Like do things that are going to help you, like
center yourself in a world right now where like nothing
feels centered and going back to your workspace can't be
your living space. I said that somewhere else. But but
that's a good reminder make a separate space. I don't
know where I said that. Yeah, I think you were
talking about like the closet, the closs and pillows. You

(01:05:00):
can't always like win in doubt. Bring a plant in
there and light a candle. Oh you know, I lit
my Christmas candle. It smells like Christmas trees. I lit
that today because I just wanted it to feel like Christmas.
And Hallmark was playing Christmas movies. I don't know if
they still are by the time this airs, but Candice
Cameron had posted about it, and so just the heads up,

(01:05:21):
like some people are putting up Christmas lights because that
I did see that. So whatever you have to do
to make your space a happy place for you but
also a productive place for you, be intentional about that.
I think is it's the message. Okay, well, thank you
so much for coming on. You're welcome. I appreciate it,

(01:05:42):
and um yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure I'll have more questions.
You can come back again, please, Okay, bye, Okay, let's
wrap on today's episode. But before I get into the
email shout out, I want to say thank you to
Catherine again. For coming on. Her instagram is at three

(01:06:03):
Courts Therapy. Okasse, you missed that in the intro, and
her podcast is you Need Therapy. If you want to
check that out after hearing her on here, you can
go over and listen to that. Okay, email shout out
time and this one comes from briel Hey Amy and
your four Things podcast with Lisa. You were talking about
the eating disorders and then you had an introduction to
the introduction where you were just saying how we should

(01:06:25):
all still find a way to connect with friends and
family and these crazy times. Something I'm doing is old fashioned,
but I think it's gonna be really helpful. I'm sending
all of my friends and teachers letters on pretty paper
to remind them that we're all in this together and
that we can still connect in a fun way even
through social distancing. I thought this was a good idea
to connect and I wanted to share with you, so

(01:06:46):
thank you for Brielle. And yeah, it seems so simple,
but it can really make a difference. And I think
these are letters that you'll want to keep for a
long time and look back on and be like whoa like.
You can probably bust them out with your grandkids and
be like, oh, this is a letter from my friend
Mary or my sister Christie. And it was there when

(01:07:10):
we were dealing with COVID nineteen and we started mailing
letters to each other because we just don't really mail
letters or cards anymore. And I love that Brielle is
putting it on pretty paper and she's just reminding them,
everybody in her life that they're all in this together.
So it doesn't have to be this long drawn out letter,
but it could be something that it's just special, and honestly,

(01:07:32):
it keeps say for these crazy, crazy times that we
are going through, but make sure too. I just want
to give this tip when you're getting and receiving mail
that you're wiping everything down. Like if you're still getting
Amazon packages and whatnot, you need to wipe down the
boxes before you open them. Wipe down the packages before
you open them. And then we had an Amazon delivery

(01:07:53):
driver call into the Bobby Bones Show and she thought
it was super cool that some of the houses she's
delivering to, they're leaving hand sanitizer on the porch for
the drivers to just get a pumper too when they
drop off the package, or you know, or they're like
leaving little snacks. But I mean that's what we've seen before,
like at Christmas time when it gets really busy, you

(01:08:14):
see people leave out snacks or whatnot. But now the
thing that's appreciated is if you leave out some hand
sanitizers so they can borrow a little bit if they
need it. Okay, so uh yeah, that's today's episode. I
hope everyone is doing great or at least just doing
the best that we can. Give yourself a lot of
grace during this time. And we'll see you on Tuesday

(01:08:35):
for the four Things episode. Actually remember, well we'll see
you Saturday, but Saturday will be really quick. That's going
to be the trailer release for the series called Out Outweigh,
which will live here on this podcast. But Tuesday will
be new questions and answered answers. If you'll have questions,
do you want to send them into me? Just go
to four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Okay,

(01:09:00):
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