June 16, 2020 • 20 mins
This is Amy’s ‘5th Thing’ (a bonus episode) where she answers your questions every Tuesday! ‘4 Things With Amy Brown’ comes out every Thursday, but on Tuesdays Amy answers questions you’ve emailed in. On today’s episode Amy answers all your questions about: supporting police during current climate in the country, her experience going through the adoption process, navigating body image issues with children and her favorite beauty blender.
(Episode 155)
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Everybody, Amy here, and you are listening to
the fifth Thing, which is the Q and a episode
for the four Things podcast, and I pull questions that
you have emailed in. The email is four Things with
Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Just in case you're curious.
Sometimes I get d M s from people saying they
didn't know how to email in, so I need to
be better about making sure you'll know that email address
(00:26):
is just the name of the podcast, Four Things with
Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Before I get into
the questions, I always do a quote. Uh, and my
quote today is going to be about gratitude because I've
been going through um. Mary and I keep an Excel
(00:47):
doc that we work on to build things because she's
in California and I'm in Nashville, and uh, we're trying
to come up with a second edition of our four
Things Gratitude Journal, and so we have a running document
and we're pulling quotes because in our first one we
have quotes. Pretty much, you just keep track of four
(01:09):
things that you're grateful for, not every day, no pressure
to do it every day, but obviously the more you
practice gratitude, the better you will feel. So but we
didn't want to put that pressure on people because we're
not very good at journaling. That's why we wanted to
make an easy journal. And we're super excited about coming
up with the second one. But I was going through
some of the quotes today and thought I would share
(01:31):
with you all one of the quotes we may put
in the new journal. I even got a d M
today asking when the journals will be out, and I
honestly do not know. Things got delayed because the coronavirus.
Then we were focusing on healthcare hero stuff because of that.
Then we're focusing on racial injustice stuff with the Ally
(01:53):
Fund and Be the Change and all that, and then
we have a Pimp and Joy campaign that we're launching
the sweek to build a home for a hero. So
a lot going on, but we still have the journal
in the works. I just don't know when we will
get that too. And I guess I should say since
it is Tuesday when you're listening to this, if you're
listening to this on Tuesday, or maybe it's Wednesday. On Wednesday,
(02:16):
at nine am Central Standard time, our new Pimp and
Joy line goes up with a of the proceeds going
to building homes for heroes. To build a home for
christ Army Sergeant Christopher Biggs, who served in Iraq, was
driving on a mission, came upon an explosion. He was
knocked unconscious, had traumatic brain injury, shattered his left leg
(02:39):
his right ankle. After tons of rehab, they weren't able
to save the legs, so we had it amputated. And
I love building homes for heroes. We've worked with them
with two other veterans to help build a house for them,
and they make the house specifically for them and their needs. Uh.
Since they come back different than before, they need a
(03:02):
special house and it's designed specifically for them and they're
able to get a new home mortgage free. Uh. And
it's super super cool and so we're pumped to be
partnering with them for this. And there's new stuff coming out,
some red, white and blue stuff if you want to
snag for Fourth of July, but I would do it
a S A P. Then there's a Neon pink collegiate
(03:24):
tea we haven't ever done before. And this light purple
which is one of my favorites long sleeve tea. Uh.
So there's some new stuff, go check it out. Radio
Amy dot com is how you can find any of that.
That same website. The shot forward will also link you
to our journal if you want it, um, but no
pressure there. If you just want to practice gratitude, you
literally can do it on your phone or an any
(03:46):
old notebook. But I just want you to know if
you want to support this veteran and um what we're doing,
then this campaign is going on this week and we're
trying to do as much as we can. And as
always of the proceeds, we don't take anything from pimp
and joy. And it all started with my mom when
she was battling cancer. It's all about choosing joy for
yourself and spreading joy to others. So um, back to
(04:10):
the quote that I was going to share with you all,
it is from Oprah, very wise woman. She said, be
thankful for what you have. You'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will
never ever have enough. And I think that you can
automatically put that into material things, but really it applies
(04:33):
to anything like if you focus on what you wish
your family was like, or what job you had or like,
and you're not grateful for what you have like, I
don't think you'll ever get to where you want to
go because you're just feeling stuck with where you are.
So make sure you're you find things where you are
that you can be grateful for and it'll open up
(04:55):
things for you. Um. So we don't need to focus
on what we don't have, focus on what we do have.
So with that said, it's time to get into the questions,
and the first one is from Mallory. Hey, Amy, I
was wondering what your thoughts are on the police. With
everything that's going on, are you going to try to
discourage your son's police aspirations? And now full disclosure, Mallory's
(05:17):
question was a little bit longer than that, but I
always edit questions down just to maybe get to the
question a little bit faster. And I know Mallory based
on her email she meant well with that. She was
just genuinely curious. And my answer is, of course, I
would never discourage my son to be a police officer.
That's what he wants to be right now, he's nine
years old, and if he sticks with that and when
(05:37):
he's an adult, if that's when he wants to be,
I will fully support it. I have not wavered one
bit when it comes to my support for the police. Now,
are there some uh rotten police eggs out there, Yes,
but there's rotten eggs in every profession and wherever you look,
like in any group, there's there's gonna be them bad.
(06:00):
And uh yeah, I know it's a sensitive thing. I
even got an email the other day from the wife
of a police officer who didn't feel as though the
Bobby Bones Show and my podcast we're doing enough for
police officers during this time because we had focused some
on the racial injustice but not the police. But our
(06:26):
support for police has never wavered. We've always been huge
supporters of the police. I would say for me, I've
had a personal revelation that I have not always been
aware of my white privilege and I have not always
been aware of the racial injustice, mainly because I wasn't
dipping my toe in that water. I felt like that
was for activists and other people. But I really feel
(06:49):
it all my heart that that's something I need to
dive into and I feel others need to educate themselves
about two. But nowhere have I said anything about not
appreciating the police. Uh So, if anything, I know that
we just hope. Even on the Bobby Bone Show, I
know we've thrown support to police and we want you
(07:10):
to think police when you see them, and I want
police to feel safe, Like I can't even imagine on
on both ends. You know what it's like if you're
a black person getting pulled over and you fear for
your life, or on any given day being a police
officer and pulling someone over no matter what their races,
and just being scared of what could happen to you,
(07:31):
Like you don't know who you're pulling over or what
they have in their car that they don't want you
to find, and they're willing to do whatever it takes
to to not get caught or busted. Like I know
the sacrifices that police make and that's not lost on me,
and I do think that they're some things need to
(07:52):
be revisited on how they're done. But this isn't a
political podcast to try not to go there, So I'll
just answer your question in short. My thoughts on their
police are. I appreciate them, and if my son wants
to be a police officer, I'm totally fine with that,
but that doesn't mean I'm not continuing my learning towards
(08:15):
what's happening in the country right now, and I'm having
to unlearn some things and do my best to be
a good mom first of all to Stevenson and Stashira,
who are black, and then be a good friend to
my black friends, and then um be someone that my
(08:37):
white friends that can uh, you know, support, like I
want to support my other white friends that are on
this journey with me, and I want to have thoughtful
conversations about it. It's not easy. It's hard. This whole
thing is so so hard and devastating and sad and tragic,
and I hate it. But it's probably gonna get a
(09:00):
little bit worse before it gets better. And gosh, like
to even look at where we are now and then
looking back on, you know, times in the past when
stuff like this has happened before, this time definitely feels different,
and gosh, I hope it is. I hope there's finally
some real change. I feel like people are waking up.
I feel like I have woken up, and I'm gonna
(09:24):
do my best two And I think I said this
on last Thursday's episode. To make this uh the racial
injustice topic and the learning and growing and trying to
understand our black community and the oppression that they have
gone through and what we can do to help lift
them up. That is going to be a part of
(09:45):
my show. But with that said, I also have no
issue with lifting up our police officers and thanking them
for all of their hard work and their sacrifice, and
their wives too. I don't know if I finished talking
about the email that I got from the lice officer's wife,
but she quit listening. She was emailing to tell me
that she was done listening to the Bobby Bones Show
(10:06):
and she was done listening to my podcast, and I
was sad about that. I emailed her back. I said, Hey,
I'm really sad to lose you. I hope that one
day you can find in your heart to start listening again,
because we support you. I have nothing against you. Now,
I say that as a blanket statement, um not knowing,
I don't. I don't know what kind of officer her
husband is, but I trust that he's probably a super
(10:28):
awesome one. You know. I don't know all of the people,
the new activists that I'm following on Instagram all that well,
but I'm vetting them and anything I share with you all.
I feel like I have vetted and I trust, and
they're good sources and they are good people. And yeah,
I'm not gonna just because of some bad apples here
(10:52):
and there. I don't judge an entire group. Just like
with looters, I don't judge all the protests and everything
that's going on because of some bad apples. If that
makes sense. Okay, next question is from Leslie. You were
(11:19):
talking about putting makeup on and using a beauty blender.
Do you have a certain brand that you use? I
didn't see it on your Amazon page, and Leslie, I
do have one that I use and I ordered on Amazon,
so I went ahead and just added it to my
page so that you could find it my Amazon pages
at Radio amy dot com. Click on Amazon Favorite Things
and you'll find it there. And I do I think
(11:41):
it's just the beauty blender brand. It's it's pink, and
it's on my page. You'll see it under the beauty section.
And I have tried the cheaper ones on Amazon and
even from like t J Max or something. They had
this big old box of them, so I bought it
for super cheap and I did not like them at all.
(12:02):
It did not smooth out and by makeup. What I
used to put it on is my Intel a shade,
which is a tinted sunscreen moisturizer, and it's the only
thing that will blend it in. Like when I use
my fingers, it just looks a little, I don't know,
thick and cakey looking. But when I use a beauty blender,
it's great. And you the tip for that is run
(12:23):
it under hot water and then squeeze it out. I
maybe even dab it with a towel a little bit,
and then I blend my Intel a shade sunscreen moisturizer
in and it's awesome. Like I love it. And again,
I've tried the cheap ones. I'm not trying to just
make you go to Amazon. It's been twenty bucks on
a little sponge thingy, but to me, it's worth it.
(12:45):
And also it's they last a really long time and
you can wash them with your face wash and keep
them clean and then just keep using them like no
big deal. Uh. Next question is from Amy. So, my
daughter broke my heart yesterday because she said she wants
to be skinny like her cousin and neighbor. This totally
blew my mind. And I didn't know how to respond.
(13:06):
What should I do to help her long term? Not
to worry about her body image. Her cousin and friend
told her to sleep more and eat veggies. Also, you
said you're going to do a season two about way
and you may touch on this, please do okay, Amy, Yeah,
this is hard. So I reached out to UH eating
disorder therapist Katherine Defata. She's at three Chords Therapy on
(13:28):
Instagram and she has a podcast called You Need Therapy.
She's great if you'll want to check her out. She
has a lot of really good things to say. But
I asked her to help me answer this, So I'm
going to read her response because I felt like, oh,
this is I need a professional to step in on
this one, because you're a mom and this is your
daughter and it's very serious, and if it was happening
(13:48):
with my daughter, I would reach out to Catherine. So
that's kind of what I did for you. Here's the answer.
She said, Okay, this is a tough situation because we
want to control and may make sure that our babies
never experience pain or hurt, and the reality is we
can only control our own behavior, and sometimes the words
and actions of others. We can't shield people from hard
(14:11):
experiences forever. For example, my body image issues didn't start
by something my parents said. It was a mixture of
some kids at school and things I saw on TV.
With that said, as a mom and someone your daughter
looks up to and trust, you can make a difference
by providing consistent, positive feedback showing love to your daughter
(14:32):
about anything other than wait. A lot of times when
we want to change something like this, it's because we
think we will get something that we either a are
missing or be are afraid of losing. So here are
a couple of things you can do. One, continue to
be mindful of how you talk about food and your
(14:52):
own body, not just when she's around, but all of
the time. How we talk influences how we act even
when we aren't talking. To foster an environment where there
is body size and just basic human diversity and kindness
within that diversity, a lot of us never saw people
without the ideal body being successful or valued. And then three,
(15:16):
this is a big one. She needs a nudge showing
her that her body image doesn't even dip a toe
into what makes her wonderful and beautiful. When she says
I want to be skinny, like you know x y Z.
A response like can I tell you what I love
most about you can make a huge difference. Remember the
(15:38):
first part, we want to change things about us when
we think those things will give us something we are
missing or that we are afraid of losing. Often we
just need to be reminded that we aren't going to
lose our love and belonging due to our changing body.
Now hopefully I've got all that in the first read.
(15:59):
If this is something that any of you have been
struggling with, I encourage you to listen to that part again.
Just rewind and listen to it again, because there's some
good stuff in there. My last question is from Emily
what adoption agency did you use? And Emily oh Man,
I've said on here before somewhere in the podcast, I
(16:19):
did not have the most um the best I guess,
or the most amazing adoption agency experience ever, so I
have remained silent on who we used. I'm sure that
there great people. I don't have any ill feelings. It
just was not a good experience. And what's a bummer
(16:41):
is at the end of the day, you have to
realize that adoption agencies are a business too, and maybe
sometimes they get in the routine of operating that way
and not really thinking of all the emotions that are involved,
and maybe they're trying not to get emotionally attached. But
it was it's hard when you're the parent and they're
delays and and mess ups and things that are happening. Um,
(17:04):
when we were adopting domestically, we were going through Bethany,
and I know they're not everywhere, I don't think, and
they are a Christian organization, So depending on you know,
your faith background, maybe will depend on where you want
to go or where you want to adopt from. Is
it in the US, is it another country? You have
(17:25):
to look at at, you know, domestic versus international, and
what agencies work with where and if they specialize in
a certain country or if there they are where you live.
So I can speak to Bethany. Didn't go all the
way through with them, but I did have an excellent
experience with them, and I have a couple of different
friends that have had the same awesome experience. We also
(17:50):
went through a private attorney for a little bit, and
I gotta say that experience wasn't all that bad and
I know it sounds like that might cost more, but
when we ran the numbers, it was actually really the
same and we got a lot of one on one
but we just decided not to pursue that. Once we
(18:10):
went international, decided to adopt from Haiti. Um that lawyer
that we were working with was out of Florida, So really, UM,
the best thing you can do is ask around in
your community. Do you know anybody that lives in your
area that has adopted? Is there an agency in your
city and you can go visit with them and meet
them and take them coffee and talk with them and
(18:30):
really get to know. I mean, these are people that
you're going to be very close to working with all
the time. And I guess I always had a vision
that my agency would always be a part of my
life and they were part of helping me get my kids,
and that they would be with us when our kids
arrived from Haiti. But my story just didn't turn out
that way. And again nothing again, I'm not I don't
(18:55):
ever say anything bad about them. It just was kind
of a bummer experience. And I'm sure if I could
redo the way I acted sometimes I would go back
and do it and maybe they would revisit how they
handled some things. I don't know, but I can't tell you.
I'm not going to share with you exactly who I used,
but I I would encourage you to do your research
(19:19):
and ask around. And I wish I could be of
more help. But that is what I got for you
right now, and I hope that you all have an
amazing rest of your week, whatever day it is that
you're listening to this. If it happens to be Tuesday,
don't forget that. Tomorrow Wednesday, at nine am Central, we
have our new pimp and joy Line going up to
(19:41):
support building homes for heroes so that we can help
build Army Sergeant Christopher Biggs a new home in Austin,
Texas fits specifically to his needs. Um since he is
an injured veteran and a Purple Heart recipient. So um
which I just kind of put tuned two together. How
we have a new purple longsleeve shirt which is my
(20:03):
favorite item coming out for a Purple Heart recipient, which
was just coincidental, but you should definitely go pick up.
Check out the Purple Heart Radio amy dot com for
a link to that, or even Bobby Bones dot com
whatever is easiest for some of you to remember, but
I hope if you can support that you will. UM
(20:24):
appreciate you guys so much, and I'll see you Thursday.
I have Bob Goff on Thursday's episode, which if you
know Bob Goff, you know you know he's awesome. He
has a new book coming out, super Pumped. If you
don't know, then you should listen so that you'll be
in the know about Bob because he's probably one of
the most special human beings on the entire planet. I'm
(20:45):
not joking, Okay,
Happy Tuesday. Everybody, Amy here, and you are listening to
the fifth Thing, which is the Q and a episode
for the four Things podcast, and I pull questions that
you have emailed in. The email is four Things with
Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Just in case you're curious.
Sometimes I get d M s from people saying they
didn't know how to email in, so I need to
be better about making sure you'll know that email address
(00:26):
is just the name of the podcast, Four Things with
Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Before I get into
the questions, I always do a quote. Uh, and my
quote today is going to be about gratitude because I've
been going through um. Mary and I keep an Excel
(00:47):
doc that we work on to build things because she's
in California and I'm in Nashville, and uh, we're trying
to come up with a second edition of our four
Things Gratitude Journal, and so we have a running document
and we're pulling quotes because in our first one we
have quotes. Pretty much, you just keep track of four
(01:09):
things that you're grateful for, not every day, no pressure
to do it every day, but obviously the more you
practice gratitude, the better you will feel. So but we
didn't want to put that pressure on people because we're
not very good at journaling. That's why we wanted to
make an easy journal. And we're super excited about coming
up with the second one. But I was going through
some of the quotes today and thought I would share
(01:31):
with you all one of the quotes we may put
in the new journal. I even got a d M
today asking when the journals will be out, and I
honestly do not know. Things got delayed because the coronavirus.
Then we were focusing on healthcare hero stuff because of that.
Then we're focusing on racial injustice stuff with the Ally
(01:53):
Fund and Be the Change and all that, and then
we have a Pimp and Joy campaign that we're launching
the sweek to build a home for a hero. So
a lot going on, but we still have the journal
in the works. I just don't know when we will
get that too. And I guess I should say since
it is Tuesday when you're listening to this, if you're
listening to this on Tuesday, or maybe it's Wednesday. On Wednesday,
(02:16):
at nine am Central Standard time, our new Pimp and
Joy line goes up with a of the proceeds going
to building homes for heroes. To build a home for
christ Army Sergeant Christopher Biggs, who served in Iraq, was
driving on a mission, came upon an explosion. He was
knocked unconscious, had traumatic brain injury, shattered his left leg
(02:39):
his right ankle. After tons of rehab, they weren't able
to save the legs, so we had it amputated. And
I love building homes for heroes. We've worked with them
with two other veterans to help build a house for them,
and they make the house specifically for them and their needs. Uh.
Since they come back different than before, they need a
(03:02):
special house and it's designed specifically for them and they're
able to get a new home mortgage free. Uh. And
it's super super cool and so we're pumped to be
partnering with them for this. And there's new stuff coming out,
some red, white and blue stuff if you want to
snag for Fourth of July, but I would do it
a S A P. Then there's a Neon pink collegiate
(03:24):
tea we haven't ever done before. And this light purple
which is one of my favorites long sleeve tea. Uh.
So there's some new stuff, go check it out. Radio
Amy dot com is how you can find any of that.
That same website. The shot forward will also link you
to our journal if you want it, um, but no
pressure there. If you just want to practice gratitude, you
literally can do it on your phone or an any
(03:46):
old notebook. But I just want you to know if
you want to support this veteran and um what we're doing,
then this campaign is going on this week and we're
trying to do as much as we can. And as
always of the proceeds, we don't take anything from pimp
and joy. And it all started with my mom when
she was battling cancer. It's all about choosing joy for
yourself and spreading joy to others. So um, back to
(04:10):
the quote that I was going to share with you all,
it is from Oprah, very wise woman. She said, be
thankful for what you have. You'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will
never ever have enough. And I think that you can
automatically put that into material things, but really it applies
(04:33):
to anything like if you focus on what you wish
your family was like, or what job you had or like,
and you're not grateful for what you have like, I
don't think you'll ever get to where you want to
go because you're just feeling stuck with where you are.
So make sure you're you find things where you are
that you can be grateful for and it'll open up
(04:55):
things for you. Um. So we don't need to focus
on what we don't have, focus on what we do have.
So with that said, it's time to get into the questions,
and the first one is from Mallory. Hey, Amy, I
was wondering what your thoughts are on the police. With
everything that's going on, are you going to try to
discourage your son's police aspirations? And now full disclosure, Mallory's
(05:17):
question was a little bit longer than that, but I
always edit questions down just to maybe get to the
question a little bit faster. And I know Mallory based
on her email she meant well with that. She was
just genuinely curious. And my answer is, of course, I
would never discourage my son to be a police officer.
That's what he wants to be right now, he's nine
years old, and if he sticks with that and when
(05:37):
he's an adult, if that's when he wants to be,
I will fully support it. I have not wavered one
bit when it comes to my support for the police. Now,
are there some uh rotten police eggs out there, Yes,
but there's rotten eggs in every profession and wherever you look,
like in any group, there's there's gonna be them bad.
(06:00):
And uh yeah, I know it's a sensitive thing. I
even got an email the other day from the wife
of a police officer who didn't feel as though the
Bobby Bones Show and my podcast we're doing enough for
police officers during this time because we had focused some
on the racial injustice but not the police. But our
(06:26):
support for police has never wavered. We've always been huge
supporters of the police. I would say for me, I've
had a personal revelation that I have not always been
aware of my white privilege and I have not always
been aware of the racial injustice, mainly because I wasn't
dipping my toe in that water. I felt like that
was for activists and other people. But I really feel
(06:49):
it all my heart that that's something I need to
dive into and I feel others need to educate themselves
about two. But nowhere have I said anything about not
appreciating the police. Uh So, if anything, I know that
we just hope. Even on the Bobby Bone Show, I
know we've thrown support to police and we want you
(07:10):
to think police when you see them, and I want
police to feel safe, Like I can't even imagine on
on both ends. You know what it's like if you're
a black person getting pulled over and you fear for
your life, or on any given day being a police
officer and pulling someone over no matter what their races,
and just being scared of what could happen to you,
(07:31):
Like you don't know who you're pulling over or what
they have in their car that they don't want you
to find, and they're willing to do whatever it takes
to to not get caught or busted. Like I know
the sacrifices that police make and that's not lost on me,
and I do think that they're some things need to
(07:52):
be revisited on how they're done. But this isn't a
political podcast to try not to go there, So I'll
just answer your question in short. My thoughts on their
police are. I appreciate them, and if my son wants
to be a police officer, I'm totally fine with that,
but that doesn't mean I'm not continuing my learning towards
(08:15):
what's happening in the country right now, and I'm having
to unlearn some things and do my best to be
a good mom first of all to Stevenson and Stashira,
who are black, and then be a good friend to
my black friends, and then um be someone that my
(08:37):
white friends that can uh, you know, support, like I
want to support my other white friends that are on
this journey with me, and I want to have thoughtful
conversations about it. It's not easy. It's hard. This whole
thing is so so hard and devastating and sad and tragic,
and I hate it. But it's probably gonna get a
(09:00):
little bit worse before it gets better. And gosh, like
to even look at where we are now and then
looking back on, you know, times in the past when
stuff like this has happened before, this time definitely feels different,
and gosh, I hope it is. I hope there's finally
some real change. I feel like people are waking up.
I feel like I have woken up, and I'm gonna
(09:24):
do my best two And I think I said this
on last Thursday's episode. To make this uh the racial
injustice topic and the learning and growing and trying to
understand our black community and the oppression that they have
gone through and what we can do to help lift
them up. That is going to be a part of
(09:45):
my show. But with that said, I also have no
issue with lifting up our police officers and thanking them
for all of their hard work and their sacrifice, and
their wives too. I don't know if I finished talking
about the email that I got from the lice officer's wife,
but she quit listening. She was emailing to tell me
that she was done listening to the Bobby Bones Show
(10:06):
and she was done listening to my podcast, and I
was sad about that. I emailed her back. I said, Hey,
I'm really sad to lose you. I hope that one
day you can find in your heart to start listening again,
because we support you. I have nothing against you. Now,
I say that as a blanket statement, um not knowing,
I don't. I don't know what kind of officer her
husband is, but I trust that he's probably a super
(10:28):
awesome one. You know. I don't know all of the people,
the new activists that I'm following on Instagram all that well,
but I'm vetting them and anything I share with you all.
I feel like I have vetted and I trust, and
they're good sources and they are good people. And yeah,
I'm not gonna just because of some bad apples here
(10:52):
and there. I don't judge an entire group. Just like
with looters, I don't judge all the protests and everything
that's going on because of some bad apples. If that
makes sense. Okay, next question is from Leslie. You were
(11:19):
talking about putting makeup on and using a beauty blender.
Do you have a certain brand that you use? I
didn't see it on your Amazon page, and Leslie, I
do have one that I use and I ordered on Amazon,
so I went ahead and just added it to my
page so that you could find it my Amazon pages
at Radio amy dot com. Click on Amazon Favorite Things
and you'll find it there. And I do I think
(11:41):
it's just the beauty blender brand. It's it's pink, and
it's on my page. You'll see it under the beauty section.
And I have tried the cheaper ones on Amazon and
even from like t J Max or something. They had
this big old box of them, so I bought it
for super cheap and I did not like them at all.
(12:02):
It did not smooth out and by makeup. What I
used to put it on is my Intel a shade,
which is a tinted sunscreen moisturizer, and it's the only
thing that will blend it in. Like when I use
my fingers, it just looks a little, I don't know,
thick and cakey looking. But when I use a beauty blender,
it's great. And you the tip for that is run
(12:23):
it under hot water and then squeeze it out. I
maybe even dab it with a towel a little bit,
and then I blend my Intel a shade sunscreen moisturizer
in and it's awesome. Like I love it. And again,
I've tried the cheap ones. I'm not trying to just
make you go to Amazon. It's been twenty bucks on
a little sponge thingy, but to me, it's worth it.
(12:45):
And also it's they last a really long time and
you can wash them with your face wash and keep
them clean and then just keep using them like no
big deal. Uh. Next question is from Amy. So, my
daughter broke my heart yesterday because she said she wants
to be skinny like her cousin and neighbor. This totally
blew my mind. And I didn't know how to respond.
(13:06):
What should I do to help her long term? Not
to worry about her body image. Her cousin and friend
told her to sleep more and eat veggies. Also, you
said you're going to do a season two about way
and you may touch on this, please do okay, Amy, Yeah,
this is hard. So I reached out to UH eating
disorder therapist Katherine Defata. She's at three Chords Therapy on
(13:28):
Instagram and she has a podcast called You Need Therapy.
She's great if you'll want to check her out. She
has a lot of really good things to say. But
I asked her to help me answer this, So I'm
going to read her response because I felt like, oh,
this is I need a professional to step in on
this one, because you're a mom and this is your
daughter and it's very serious, and if it was happening
(13:48):
with my daughter, I would reach out to Catherine. So
that's kind of what I did for you. Here's the answer.
She said, Okay, this is a tough situation because we
want to control and may make sure that our babies
never experience pain or hurt, and the reality is we
can only control our own behavior, and sometimes the words
and actions of others. We can't shield people from hard
(14:11):
experiences forever. For example, my body image issues didn't start
by something my parents said. It was a mixture of
some kids at school and things I saw on TV.
With that said, as a mom and someone your daughter
looks up to and trust, you can make a difference
by providing consistent, positive feedback showing love to your daughter
(14:32):
about anything other than wait. A lot of times when
we want to change something like this, it's because we
think we will get something that we either a are
missing or be are afraid of losing. So here are
a couple of things you can do. One, continue to
be mindful of how you talk about food and your
(14:52):
own body, not just when she's around, but all of
the time. How we talk influences how we act even
when we aren't talking. To foster an environment where there
is body size and just basic human diversity and kindness
within that diversity, a lot of us never saw people
without the ideal body being successful or valued. And then three,
(15:16):
this is a big one. She needs a nudge showing
her that her body image doesn't even dip a toe
into what makes her wonderful and beautiful. When she says
I want to be skinny, like you know x y Z.
A response like can I tell you what I love
most about you can make a huge difference. Remember the
(15:38):
first part, we want to change things about us when
we think those things will give us something we are
missing or that we are afraid of losing. Often we
just need to be reminded that we aren't going to
lose our love and belonging due to our changing body.
Now hopefully I've got all that in the first read.
(15:59):
If this is something that any of you have been
struggling with, I encourage you to listen to that part again.
Just rewind and listen to it again, because there's some
good stuff in there. My last question is from Emily
what adoption agency did you use? And Emily oh Man,
I've said on here before somewhere in the podcast, I
(16:19):
did not have the most um the best I guess,
or the most amazing adoption agency experience ever, so I
have remained silent on who we used. I'm sure that
there great people. I don't have any ill feelings. It
just was not a good experience. And what's a bummer
(16:41):
is at the end of the day, you have to
realize that adoption agencies are a business too, and maybe
sometimes they get in the routine of operating that way
and not really thinking of all the emotions that are involved,
and maybe they're trying not to get emotionally attached. But
it was it's hard when you're the parent and they're
delays and and mess ups and things that are happening. Um,
(17:04):
when we were adopting domestically, we were going through Bethany,
and I know they're not everywhere, I don't think, and
they are a Christian organization, So depending on you know,
your faith background, maybe will depend on where you want
to go or where you want to adopt from. Is
it in the US, is it another country? You have
(17:25):
to look at at, you know, domestic versus international, and
what agencies work with where and if they specialize in
a certain country or if there they are where you live.
So I can speak to Bethany. Didn't go all the
way through with them, but I did have an excellent
experience with them, and I have a couple of different
friends that have had the same awesome experience. We also
(17:50):
went through a private attorney for a little bit, and
I gotta say that experience wasn't all that bad and
I know it sounds like that might cost more, but
when we ran the numbers, it was actually really the
same and we got a lot of one on one
but we just decided not to pursue that. Once we
(18:10):
went international, decided to adopt from Haiti. Um that lawyer
that we were working with was out of Florida, So really, UM,
the best thing you can do is ask around in
your community. Do you know anybody that lives in your
area that has adopted? Is there an agency in your
city and you can go visit with them and meet
them and take them coffee and talk with them and
(18:30):
really get to know. I mean, these are people that
you're going to be very close to working with all
the time. And I guess I always had a vision
that my agency would always be a part of my
life and they were part of helping me get my kids,
and that they would be with us when our kids
arrived from Haiti. But my story just didn't turn out
that way. And again nothing again, I'm not I don't
(18:55):
ever say anything bad about them. It just was kind
of a bummer experience. And I'm sure if I could
redo the way I acted sometimes I would go back
and do it and maybe they would revisit how they
handled some things. I don't know, but I can't tell you.
I'm not going to share with you exactly who I used,
but I I would encourage you to do your research
(19:19):
and ask around. And I wish I could be of
more help. But that is what I got for you
right now, and I hope that you all have an
amazing rest of your week, whatever day it is that
you're listening to this. If it happens to be Tuesday,
don't forget that. Tomorrow Wednesday, at nine am Central, we
have our new pimp and joy Line going up to
(19:41):
support building homes for heroes so that we can help
build Army Sergeant Christopher Biggs a new home in Austin,
Texas fits specifically to his needs. Um since he is
an injured veteran and a Purple Heart recipient. So um
which I just kind of put tuned two together. How
we have a new purple longsleeve shirt which is my
(20:03):
favorite item coming out for a Purple Heart recipient, which
was just coincidental, but you should definitely go pick up.
Check out the Purple Heart Radio amy dot com for
a link to that, or even Bobby Bones dot com
whatever is easiest for some of you to remember, but
I hope if you can support that you will. UM
(20:24):
appreciate you guys so much, and I'll see you Thursday.
I have Bob Goff on Thursday's episode, which if you
know Bob Goff, you know you know he's awesome. He
has a new book coming out, super Pumped. If you
don't know, then you should listen so that you'll be
in the know about Bob because he's probably one of
the most special human beings on the entire planet. I'm
(20:45):
not joking, Okay,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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