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August 4, 2020 14 mins

This is Amy’s ‘5th Thing’ (a bonus episode) where she answers your questions every Tuesday! ‘4 Things With Amy Brown’ comes out every Thursday, but on Tuesdays Amy answers questions you’ve emailed in.

(Episode 169)

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Happy Tuesday, everybody. I normally start Tuesday episodes off with
a quote before we get into the questions and answers.
And I actually have a special guest for the quote today,
my son Stevenson, and he's gonna share one of his
infamous sayings with us, Stevenson chill out, relax, calm down.

(00:24):
There you go. Now. Stevenson was known for saying that
for so long that we decided to make chill out
shirts a couple of years ago for his birthday. Then
we made a relaxed shirt for his birthday last year.
So you know what's coming this year, Calm Down shirts.
And it's all for Stevenson's tenth birthday, which is his
golden birthday because he turns ten on August ten. If

(00:47):
you don't know what a golden birthday is, it's when
you turn the age of the day that your birthday is.
So August t ten years old. And we're super excited
for the calm Down shirts. They're super cute out and
they will be available only on Stevenson's birthday. Yes, there
is no video, this is audio. It's a podcast. I'm
not gonna trash it. I'm gonna upload it. Okay, I

(01:11):
will get your approval. Thank you. By I mean he's
so cute. So on his birthday, will put up these
shirts and they're pretty much for sale just on his birthday.
So it's about a twenty four hour period that they're available.
So if you want one of these shirts, make sure
you're ready to shop. I'll have a link up at
radio ama dot com. But you have a nice little
heads up, it's not until next Monday, August ten. Okay,

(01:32):
let's get into the questions. This first one is from
Marie Tate. I would love to start a podcast on
how to know if you're making the right decisions for
undergrad grad school careers, et cetera. And at the end
of my time in a PhD program, and have gone
through a lot of times where I question if I
made the right choice and help a lot of undergraduates
and friends decide where to go once they graduate, and

(01:53):
I feel like I could make a difference with my
story and sharing others stories. I have a lot of
thoughts on this, but I will to the point of
my email. How do you get the courage to start
your own podcast knowing that you would be stepping out
on your own and how did you decide on the
time length? Okay, so, Marie, I think that this is
great whenever you have something that you feel could be

(02:13):
beneficial to somebody else, I think it's amazing if you
want to share it with others. And at first you
might just have friends and family listening, but his word
starts to spread. Maybe you've got people that you work with,
or your friends share it with their friends, and their
friends share with their cousins, and the next thing you know,
you've helped somebody pick out their career or figure out

(02:34):
what they need to do after school. So I think
it's awesome. I just want to give you a high
five and send you all of the encouragement in the
world to step out and do it. For me, really,
it was Bobby nudging me to start a podcast, and
Elizabeth Fozzio, who works in my company. She's a great
champion of myself and other females in our company, and honestly,
I don't think I would have started it without her,

(02:55):
and then knowing that I had Chase in my corner
to help me out, it was definitely a little scary
it first, and I gotta tell you, I put it
off and put it off and put it off, and
then my dad got sick and that was an excuse
to continue to put it off. And then finally I
just thought, you know, I gotta just go for it.
And I feel like that's my advice to you, is
you got to just come up with a plan. Figure

(03:17):
out what you want your theme to be, which it
seems like you know it, but in case others are
listening and they maybe want to start their own, what's
going to be the point of your podcast? Who is
your audience, who are you talking to? And then just
figure out where you're going to put it and how
to do it. I mean, so many people are doing
podcasts these days, so that can seem still intimidating, like
oh gosh, there's podcast everywhere, but it also should be

(03:39):
a sign of encouragement that if all these other people
can figure it out, so can you. I'm excited for you.
I think it's great. And when it comes to deciding
on a time, I know in the beginning I wanted
to keep my episodes under an hour for the Four
Things episodes, which I failed it that miserably. A lot
of times I'm over an hour. Those are my Thursday
episodes and then my two day episodes, I'm really trying

(04:01):
to keep it about fifteen minutes. I still fail at that,
but I would say I'm way better than I used
to be keeping it in the fifteen minute twenty minute range.
Sometimes they're thirty. But it really just depends on the content.
If it's good, people are going to continue listening, and
if it's not something that they're interested in, then they'll
move on to something else. There's so many things to consume,

(04:22):
so you have to keep that in mind and not
get your feelings hurt if certain people don't want to
listen to what you have to say, and yours seems
very specific, but you know, shoot, Marie Tap, you might
have a listener in me. I'm still trying to figure
out what to do with my life. Sometimes now there
are certain parts of my life I have totally figured out,
but other parts you never know where I could grow

(04:42):
and learn something new. And I know that I have
a lot of listeners that are maybe trying to figure
out their side hustle or switch career paths, or go
back to school, or trying to figure out what they're
gonna do, and I'm sure that they would want to
support you. And listen to what you have to say.
So anybody listening right now thinking about starting a podcast,
you can do. If I can do it, you can
do it. And I know I work in radio, but

(05:02):
I'm used to being a co host. I'm used to
talking to Bobby and the rest of the people on
the show. Doing something or a stepping out on my
own was definitely scary, but it's fun. If you have
something that you're passionate about, then go for it, even
if you are just doing it as like a side
project for fun, and then maybe you never know if
it's super successful, and then maybe it's something that you

(05:23):
can make money off of as well down the line. Okay,
next question is from Lindsay. I've been hearing a lot
on your four Things about self love and remembering to
love yourself, and I have something I'd like to point
out to you. I don't know it's this on your podcast. However,
during the Bobby Bones pre show podcast, I hear quite
often you refer to yourself as stupid. Typically during trivia

(05:45):
or other fun games that you'll play on the show.
You answer a trivia question wrong and you say I'm
so stupid. I'm sure you don't mean to be negative
or possibly don't even realize that you're saying it, but
you are talking down to yourself. I'm sure you would
be concerned and if you heard either of your kids
refer to themselves as stupid. So for the sake of
being their role model as well as one of mine,

(06:07):
just be kind to yourself. I thought this might be
something worth bringing to your attention. Hope this helps you
in your joyful journey and reminds you and everyone else
to love yourself. And I wanted to share this email
from Lindsay because I know it's not a question, but
I think that it's super important to point out I
one ent say that a lot, and I would never

(06:28):
want my kids to say that about themselves. And I
know that I have kids listening to the show, or
even people like Lindsay or any other person that might
be listening that might think, oh, well, Amy calls herself stupid,
so I can call myself stupid and I need to
stop doing that. So thank you Lindsay for bringing this
to my attention. I really appreciate it, and I promise

(06:48):
I'm gonna work on it. I don't know if I'll
be perfect because when we are playing those silly games
and I don't know something that I know I should know.
I definitely do feel a little not going to say
the word the S word at the moment, but I'm
going to work on eliminating stupid from my vocabulary because
I don't want to say that about myself anymore, and
I would like to encourage all of you to do

(07:08):
the same. So thanks for the email, Lindsay. Next email
is from Sarah. First of all, I want to thank
you for being such a constant positive influence in my
life these past few years. Well, Sarah, must not listen

(07:29):
to the Bobby Bones show what I when I call
myself stupid? Your positivity and joyful spirit has helped me
through so many rough spots in my life. I'm twenty
three years old and I recently moved across the country
to be with my boyfriend. I work from home, so
I'm by myself a lot. It's been getting to me
feeling so isolated. I know you moved for your husband
and you also work from home, so do you have

(07:50):
any advice on how not to feel so lonely? Sarah?
First of all, I'm thankful that this podcast and the
Bobby Bones Show can be a positive lens in your life.
I don't think that that's just me. It is something
that I strive to do, but I struggle with that daily.
There's times where I have to have an attitude check

(08:10):
for sure. So I think I'm lucky to surround myself
with people that feel the same way. So that's a
huge reminder to me as well. I know how hard
it is to move somewhere we don't know anybody. When
I moved to North Carolina, I knew basically my husband
and then a few of his Air Force buddies that
were nice enough to introduce me to their wives and
I got to know them a little bit. But really

(08:32):
you you have to meet your own friends and make
your own way, and it definitely takes time. But what
I would do is I picked out different things that
I enjoyed, like going to yoga or going to the gym,
and that's where I met some of my friends. Honestly,
I was at a body pump class at Gold Gym
and Southernhinds, North Carolina, and there was a girl that
walked in and I don't know something about her just

(08:54):
looked like we would get along. It really was nothing
about her looks like. I just felt as though we
might have a connect shin, And so I went up
to her and pretty much asked her to be my
friend and got her phone number, and we're still friends
to this day. My husband is now friends with her husband.
I went to North Carolina about a year ago and
we all went out to dinner. It was great to
see them, but I just had to go up to her,

(09:17):
and sometimes that's what it takes. Then I would go
walk around town. We lived in a quaint, cute little town.
Met my friends Sunday who runs The mocking Bird, which
is in downtown Southern Pines. I don't know the vibe
of where you have moved, but just get out into
your community and start meeting people. And that's what I
would do. Take my dog on a walk, I would
go into Sunday's shop, next thing, you know, start talking

(09:38):
it up with her. Then we become friends, and yeah,
we're still friends to this day, even though I don't
live there anymore. Really, everyone's hobbies are different, but that's
my advice. Think about stuff that you like to go do.
Oh my husband and I got involved in a church.
Then we joined a small group. We met some of
our friends that way as well. But again, I don't
know where you are with that. If that could be

(10:00):
something you could go do. That's just a few tips.
And obviously doing something like this during a pandemic is
totally different than when I did it, because gosh, life
is just super isolated now anyways. So I feel for you, Sarah,
and I hope that you are able to connect with
people some way, somehow, because connection is important. Maybe in
the meantime since coronavirus, if you can't get out and about,

(10:24):
maybe connect on face time or zoom or whatever video
way you can see people that are already in your life,
even if they live far away, whether it's family, friends,
Connect with people because that is so so important. Okay,
next email is from Lizzie hey Amy. My grandfather passed
away a few years ago from bone marrow cancer. He

(10:44):
battled it for almost four years after being told that
he had less than a year to live. About six
months before he passed. He made everyone in the family
and a few close friends the picture below. The sign
that was attached says, when a cardinal appears in your yard,
it's a visitor from heaven. We bought a home two
months after losing him, and when we came to the

(11:06):
house that we live in now, there was a Cardinal
sitting in the tree near the front door. We had
eight offers denied before this home. We see Cardinals during
important times in our lives often. I was with you
on the whole Cardinal thing until he gave us these
precious handmade gifts and we started seeing him when things
get tough. I recently found your podcast thanks to the

(11:27):
Outweigh segment and have fallen in love with all of it.
Thanks for being so open and honest. Well, Lizzie, thank
you for yet another affirmation about cardinals being a symbol
from loved ones that we have lost. I shared with
you all on last week's episode that I didn't really
know how I felt about that, but my sister is

(11:49):
pretty adamant that my mom is showing us that she's
with us when cardinals are near us. So if you
missed that episode, go back and listen to it. But
I love that y'all feel the same way. And that
was just one email that I got of several that
have this similar experience with cardinals. So who knew Thursday's

(12:10):
episode just a heads up is going to be all
four things with my therapist, So, speaking of being open
and honest, I thought I would have her on to
talk about some real things that were going on with
me that I think might be helpful for you as
my listener. Just feel like y'all are a lot like me,

(12:30):
so maybe you need to hear some of the things
that I've worked through and what worked for me and
kind of what I'm noticing about myself and then hopefully
that stuff will help. And uh, yeah, I guess that's
a wrap on today's episode. I really appreciate y'all sending
me the emails again. Tuesday episodes are typically Q and A,
but then I'm also going to share some just emails.

(12:51):
Like two of those emails that I shared weren't really questions,
they were just comments that I think could also be
something beneficial for y'all to here. I hope you all
are having a great week so far. I know it's early,
but me personally, we're on vacation from the Bobby Bones
Show this week, so I'm excited to just get some
downtime with my family. Still working on some other projects,

(13:12):
but just not as demanding, and I'm looking forward to
that peaceful time, I went ahead and ordered for my vacation.
This week, Reese Witherspoon had posted a book called Everything Inside.
It's going to be part of her book club right now,
and it's I think, eight short stories from Haitian women.

(13:32):
I do believe, so I am very excited to read that,
and then I will give you all an update on
how I feel about it during my little little mini
vacation here where we're staying home as a family. My
kids start school soon, so we're trying to get everything
in order, and plus with coronavirus, I really don't feel
like traveling again at all. But I hope you all
are staying safe, feeling good, wearing masks, doing your part

(13:55):
social distancing, and getting to be with those that you love.
I guess as much as possible giving these crazy times.
Don't forget Stevenson's birthday Monday. Calm down, Chirts,

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