Answering Your Questions (5th Thing)

The 5th Thing - Answering Your Questions (8-11-20)

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Happy Tuesday, everybody. You're listening to the Fifth Thing, which
I was also for a long time calling the Q
and A episode, but now I'm just changing it. It's
a fifth thing where I go over emails that you
all have sent in, whether it's questions or just emails
that I want to share back to our community. So
that's what this episode is. And now you can use

(00:26):
the fifth thing for sure in the subject line. I
used to say Q and A or you know, anyway
when you would email four things with Amy Brown and
gmail dot com, that's what I would say to put
in the subject line if you have a question or whatever.
But now you can just put fifth Thing. Put that
in the subject line if you wanted to possibly end
up in one of these episodes, and I would really
appreciate that. So we always start off the Tuesday shows

(00:49):
with a quote, and this is from Karen salmonson when
you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control the
way you respond to what's happening. That is where your
true power is. And I gotta say I'm working really
hard on that, and it is a challenge, but I'm
seeing the fruit of my labor and it feels so

(01:14):
much better when I am in control. But it takes work,
so I'll say it again just in case somebody needs it.
When you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control
the way you respond to what's happening. That is where
your true power is cool cool. First question is from Beth.

(01:35):
This one actually is a question. I saw you and
your family just moved, and I loved little glimpses of
your home that we get on Instagram. Since I love
your style, I was wondering if you have any favorite
stores for home items. So our house that we lived
in before we moved into this new house, my friend
April with April Tomlin Interiors did most of the decorating.

(01:57):
She's a great follow on Instagram. If you're wanting interior inspiration,
April Tomlin Interiors. I think it's just at April Tomlin
Interiors on Instagram. It may even just be at April Tomlin.
I need to check. But anyway, point of this is
I've got to give her the credit for what you're seeing.
When we moved, I just transferred everything over to my house.

(02:19):
I don't know where a lot of it was from.
Don't even remember Um, but my friend Keaton, who I've
had on the episode before, who's Keating claws like, she
comes on and gives decorating tips for Christmas time and
holidays and different ideas. She is great with that kind
of thing too, and also really thrifty or candy or

(02:43):
she's certain pieces she knows that she wants to invest in,
but other ones she you don't need to necessarily spend
as much. So I reached out to her to get
the places that she likes to shop for things, and
she said, let me preface with that it depends on
the quality level of pieces that someone is searching for,
meaning if it's the living room sofa or side chairs,

(03:06):
then don't go the affordable route, but instead by quality
for lasting purposes. So might put a DNT in the
old pocketbook for a little bit, but it's going to
be a better bang for your buck in a long run.
But for all other items, these are places that she
recommends World Market West Elm Wayfair, which I know there's

(03:29):
the whole Wayfair controversy. I still stand by the fact
that I don't think that there's anything going on with that,
and I sought out opinions from experts in human trafficking.
But again, I guess we never know the full story,
but I'll just feel like I had to add that
little astrich in there. I just ordered, uh some game

(03:50):
room stuff from Wayfair and we got it in and
it is amazing, uh ping pong table, shuffle board and
foodsball and the pieces look like furniture, so really in
that room. Instead of buying furniture for that room, I
invested in the games and I couldn't be more happy
with what I got. Uh. So she also suggests Target,

(04:12):
which I got some cute outdoor chairs from there the
other day. They're awesome. Article is another company, and Keaton
says that article has great leather sofas and chairs for
bonus rooms or home offices, but that if you're wanting
to buy a sofa for like a living room piece,
uh Orris which I've never heard of this, but it's
a r H a U s It's less expensive than

(04:35):
restoration hardware but very similar in her opinion, So if
you want to check that out, a r H a
U s Okay. Next question is from anonymous Uh they
asked or I don't even know for sure that they
asked to leave their name off, but when I replied
back to them, I just thought because of the content

(04:56):
of the email wasn't just about her, it was about
her friends. So I thought I would leave names out,
just you know, to keep their privacy. But I think
that this might be something that a lot of you
could relate to, so I wanted to share the email
here and the response. Hey, Amy, I recently listened to
all four episodes of Outweigh, plus several follow up episodes

(05:17):
with Lisa and your sister on the topic of disordered eating.
Thank you for tackling such a timely and tough topic.
My roommate and best friend just finished a four month
long eating recovery program through the Eating Recovery Center, and
it's been such a worry for me to watch her
struggle with disordered eating and orthorexia. I particularly related to
hearing your sister talk about her experience as watching from

(05:39):
the outside and being worried and sometimes annoyed at the
irregular eating habits that you had. It got to a
point where I didn't want to go out to eat
with my roommate at all because she would either order
nothing having eaten before, or order black coffee. Nothing is
worse than eating by yourself like that. Anyway, my question
for you is, as a friend, out cider, and support system,

(06:01):
should I modify my behavior around my roommate. Sometimes I
get nervous telling her I'm going to the gym after work,
or that I want to order the kale salad at
Chick fil A rather than the waffle fries. I feel
like I have a pretty good relationship with food and
exercise and never thought twice about what I ate or
how much I worked out before meeting my friend slash roommate.

(06:22):
Should I hide those things from her while she's going
through recovery? She was recently declared weight restored, but still
has a long way to go to heal her relationship
with food. I'd love to hear your perspective as someone
who has experienced what my roommate has experienced. So thank
you for this email. I think that you know there's
listeners here that are the person that has the disordered

(06:46):
eating or uh an orthorexy. By the way, since some
of you may not know that she addressed in the email,
is when you're fixated on eating perfectly, and you have
a list of food you allow and a list of
food you don't and normally it's I would describe it
as because I was definitely orthorexic at times where I
tried to eat super clean and I would not deviate

(07:07):
and it would cause extreme anxiety. And I showed up
everywhere with my own food, and I literally thought if
I ate something on my not to eat list, it
was the end of the world. There's just a very
distorted relationship with food. So I reached out to Lisa
to get her professional opinion on this email. And since

(07:30):
she is really this is her wheelhouse, I wanted to
make sure I had her perspective and not just mine.
But Lisa and I both agree that you should continue
to be a normal eater. Normal eaters sometimes get kale
and then normal eaters sometimes get fries, So you need

(07:51):
to keep doing you and Lisa and I agree on that.
But here's some other thoughts that Lisa sent back to me.
Being a role model for others means choosing yourself and
honoring your wants. This will be reflected in your choices
and over time will set a positive example for those
around you. Now we we both again agree that you

(08:13):
need to make the choices that reflect what you want. Okay,
and then Lisa goes on to say, whether it be kale,
salad or fries, the only thing that you should avoid
is language that may affect your roommates, such as fries
are bad, so I'll get the salad. You could even
say something like, wow, kale sounds good today, or I'm

(08:35):
in the mood for some leafy greens, so today I'm
gonna get the kale, so that it's clear that she's
not choosing the healthy option out of fear for scarcity
or restriction, but rather for desire, abundance and trusting what
your body is telling you that you want, which is
ultimately what we want for everybody, whether it's ourselves or

(08:57):
our friend or our roommate that might be struggling. We
want to get to the point where we're all trusting
and we can listen to our bodies and know that, yeah,
we're choosing the salad because that's what our body is
telling us that it wants, not because it fits all
the approved food that will allow in our body. Or

(09:18):
we're choosing the fries because that's just what our body
is craving for the day, not because we're being bad
for the moment. Like that's where it gets kind of messy,
so we want to avoid the good and food bad
good and bad food labels. So good luck with this,
And if anybody else is in this situation, I know
I have a lot of moms listening that have told

(09:41):
me they have this going on with their teenage daughters
and they don't know how to react about food. And
I feel like this advice could apply to that, is
that you, if you have a healthy relationship with food,
you need to keep on being healthy, but just make
sure that you watch how you speak about it, in
the language you use, and if anything, that can be

(10:02):
an example to them like oh wow, okay, look at
her trusting her body. I can do that too. Okay.
Next email is from Robin and this one's actually a question.

(10:22):
I recently saw you post about the new Hunger Games
book in the latest Reese Witherspoon book club book, Everything Inside,
But have you thought about reading Glennon Doyle's latest book, Untamed.
I'm just curious. Didn't know if you had talked about
it and I missed it. So Robin, yep, read Hunger
Games prequel book that just came out, loved it. I
am currently reading the Everything Inside book that Reese posted

(10:44):
about and I'm like not even oh fourth of the
way through, so I don't have thoughts on that one yet.
But Untamed I'm listening to on audio actually, and I
am almost done with fit on there and something cool
is that Glennon is actually going to be coming on
the podcast. So I downloaded the book after we booked

(11:08):
the interview because I thought, well, I've been meaning to
read the book, but there's just been a lot going on.
I feel like I've been reading other things, and I
felt like it would be one that's really good for
me to listen to. So I've been listening to it
and almost done. And I interviewed glennon this Friday, So
I don't know when that will air. I would assume
maybe next Thursday. So not this Thursday, it won't go up,

(11:29):
but next Thursday I'll be having Glenn and Doyle on
the podcast. Is one of the four Things, So if
you have questions for Glennon anybody listening, you can send
those in to my email for Things with Amy Brown
at g right four Things with Amy Brown at gmail
dot com. I don't know why I was second guessing

(11:49):
the email there, but um, and I guess just put
Glennon Doyle question in the subject line. Using the subject
line to focus in on what you're emailing about is
super helpful because there's definitely a lot of emails, which
is amazing, and I wish I had time to respond
to every single person. Uh, and you know, I'm working

(12:11):
my way through some of them. You really never know.
Sometimes emails come into these episodes that were sent a
while ago because now they just make sense to put in,
and so you never know when your email might show up.
And I just want to I'm giving myself grace because
I've put a lot of pressure on myself to try
to respond to a lot. But I have to, uh,

(12:33):
I have to give myself the freedom to maybe not
do that. And you know, in Untamed, I feel like
Glennon helps give us women the permission to not respond
to every single note that we get. Um, but it
doesn't mean we don't appreciate it at all. Okay, this

(12:54):
last little note I'm going to get into was an
email that I got from Ashley Goin's and she just
sharing the story like she copied and pasted it somewhere.
I assume it's the story maybe she heard or found
online or something but I loved it, and as the
fourth little email here before we wrap up, I wanted
to read it to y'all because I feel like this

(13:16):
is a story you can keep in your back pocket
that's so good. So here it is. There was a
young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness
and had been given three months to live. So as
she was getting her things in order, she contacted her
pastor and had him come to her house to discuss
certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which
song she wanted to be sung at the service, which

(13:37):
scripture she would like read, and which outfit she wanted
to be buried in. Everything was in order, and the
pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly
remembered something very important to her. There's one more thing,
she said, excitedly. What's that? Came the pastor's reply, This
is very important, The young woman continued, I want to
be buried with a fork in my right hand. The

(14:00):
pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite
what to say. That surprises you, doesn't it, the young
woman asked. Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,
said the pastor. The young woman explained, my grandmother once
told me this story, and from that time on I
have always tried to pass along its message to those
I love and those who are in need of encouragement.

(14:22):
And all my years of attending socials and dinners, I
always remember that when the dishes of the main course
were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say
keep your fork. It was my favorite part because I
knew that something better was coming, like velvety chocolate cake
or deep dish apple pie, something wonderful and with substance.
So I just want people to see me there in

(14:44):
the casket with the fork in my hand, and I
want them to wonder what's with the fork. Then I
want you to tell them keep your fork. The best
is yet to come. The pastor's eyes welled up with
tears of joy as he hugged the woman goodbye. He
knew this would be one of the last times he
see her before her death. But he also knew that
the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than

(15:06):
he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven
would be like than many people twice her age, with
twice as much experience and knowledge. She knew that something
better was coming. At the funeral, people were walking by
the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak that
she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.
Over and over, the pastor heard the question what's with

(15:27):
the fork? And over and over he smiled. During his message,
the pastor told the people of the conversation he had
with the young woman shortly before she died. He also
told them about the fork and what it symbolized to her.
He told the people how he could not stop thinking
about the fork, and told them that they probably would
not be able to stop thinking about it either. He

(15:47):
was right, So the next time you reached down for
your fork, let it remind you ever so gently that
the best is yet to come. Okay, see, I told
y'all just a cute, little encouraging story there, and then, uh,
that's pretty much for today. But I guess I do
have a bonus question that I'll answer just quickly here
at the end, because Jennifer, you emailed in asking where

(16:10):
you could purchase the Tide Eyed Journal that you see
I've seen probably on my website or which really you
just click the link. If you click the picture, it
takes you to it or on Instagram. A lot of
times I'll put a swipe up I'm at Radio Amy
on Instagram. That is a shop a Squad journal, which
I run that account to if you'll want to follow
that on Instagram, it's at shop squa E s p

(16:32):
w A and we sell those journals to support education
in Haiti through Project Meta Share. And it's a four
Things journal, so where you can practice gratitude, and that's
that's what the Tied Eye Journal is all about. So
shop USPA dot com, Four Things dot com, Radio Amy
dot com. I always give all the different ways that

(16:53):
people can find it um, but still I know people
don't always hear everything, and I certainly us things all
the time. So for some of you, I'm sorry if
I sound like a broken record. But for others of you,
you're like, oh, thank you. I've been wondering that. But Jennifer,
you also asked about the Calm Down T shirt for Stevenson,
and that was for his birthday yesterday. I know you

(17:15):
sent this email before then, but I was just letting
you know we only sold those yesterday on his birthday,
So hopefully you saw it and you were able to
get one if you wanted one, if any but he'll
supported that, Thank you so much. It's always cool to
see what we can give back to Haiti for Stevenson's birthday,
back to the orphanage where he grew up. And pretty

(17:35):
cool to see everybody wearing their Calm Down shirts. Soon
once you'll all start to get them in the mail.
Um are there any other a squaw news I guess
and somethinking about it. Uh. If you want to customize
the four Things tote, that's always an option. We are
going to bring back customized shirts very soon. I think
in the next week or so. Be on the lookout

(17:57):
for that. Star necklaces are back and talk, which a
lot of people UM love. We sell out of those
sometimes pretty quickly and then we have to wait to restock.
Our sunglasses were back in stock, but I don't know
if maybe we sold out with the Calm Down tease.
But anyway, y'all can find all of that. If you
want to support what we're doing with shop at SPLA

(18:18):
and support amazing organizations in Haiti by shopping there, then
you can do that too. And it's all under the
Shop Forward umbrella, which pimp and joy lives under that
as well. So if you ever need a gift for somebody,
I feel like all of these options are great gifts,
and they're cute and they're really great quality. Um. We
don't put anything out that we don't personally love and

(18:40):
wouldn't wear. We design everything ourselves. Um, at least I'm
involved in the Shop Best Spaw and Pimp and Joy stuff,
and then Mary has a lot of the Shop Forward
things that she puts a lot of work into and
it's all really great quality stuff. So whatever you find there,
you know it's going to be a good product. And
if it's a gift for someone, you know they're gonna
love that even more because it's a gift that gives back.

(19:01):
So if you'll supported any of that, just thank you,
thank you, thank you. Whether it's with your purchases or
sharing with family and friends or posting on social media,
it just means a lot. So I I just appreciate you.
So that's it. That's today's episode. We are done and
I'll be back on Thursday. Um, Lisa will be on

(19:22):
the episode are You talking about? And means the whole
episode on Thursday and is going to be about Joy
and gratitude, and I've got Lisa coming on, I have
another really cool interview of my friend Brittany with her
grandma Um Morgan. Number two from the Bobby Bones Show
is going to be on, and then still trying to
narrow down exactly the fourth thing. It might just be
me and Chase talking about some different things, so it

(19:43):
should be a great episode if you need that encouragement,
which I know I do for sure. Al Right bye,