October 8, 2020 • 37 mins
Singer/Songwriter Steve Moakler {@SteveMoakler} is on for the first two things this week! FIRST THING: Amy and Steve talk about the Song Portraits campaign that he’s launched, where you can submit a bid and Steve will write a song for 10 people {super special if you’re trying to be romantic & you have Steve right a song for your significant other!}. Coolest part is: Steve is doing one song as a giveaway to a listener of 4 things! Listen for details on how you can win a song written by Steve, for yourself, or a loved one! SECOND THING: Amy loves finding articles about recent studies that have been done! How does music affect you and your mood or even your ability to concentrate? Do you have a song that really gets you energized, or brings other emotions out? Amy and Steve talk about music that really hits the ‘feels’, how music may help you focus. They also discuss the benefits of using “cheerful words” throughout the day. And then there’s something that you should have present at your next argument with someone...this one thing might help you resolve things more quickly. THIRD THING: Amy has her chiropractor, Gary, on to talk about de-stressing techniques such as belly breathing, and a simple way to stretch to release tension in your shoulders that you’re likely not doing. FOURTH THING: Amy shares a newsletter that she got from a listener/life coach about holding onto hope...just something encouraging during these crazy times. *RadioAmy.com for links to any ‘espwa’ or ‘4 things’ merch.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for your sol life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
it's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth you're kicking four.
(00:32):
Happy Thursday, everybody. Hope y'all are having a great week.
Super excited to have my friend, singer songwriter here in Nashville,
Steve Mochler on with me for the first two things.
And the first thing, we get into a really cool
songwriting project that he just launched and you have an
opportunity to be a part of it. And he's doing
something really cool for my listeners, one of you, so
(00:54):
you'll want to listen up to see how maybe you
could have a song written for you that you can
gift to some one special in your life. And Steve
is a really amazing songwriter, but he also has this
whole project going on that you could be a part
of maybe if you don't get the giveaway that he's
doing here on the podcast. And then he's on with
me for the second thing to talking about there's a
study that was put out about music that it does
(01:16):
more than just improve your mood. And then Steve's an
overall positive person, pretty happy outlook on life, optimistic person,
so we get into the power of that a little
bit and using healthy words and how that could be
good for you. And then if you're having an argument
with your spouse, there is something that you should add
to the equation that will help you come to a
(01:38):
compromise more quickly. So Steve and I will share with
you what that is. And then my chiropractor is on
for the third thing, have a very diverse episode for you,
you guys this week, but he's on to talk about
simple ways to distress, which we all need that for
sure right now. I mean, any given year we can
have stress built up in our bodies, but especially this year.
(02:00):
There's no way that anybody in the world really hasn't
experienced some major stress this year. And then the fourth
thing is actually a story that I got from one
of you guys that I want to share, and I
love when you'll send me things that I can include
in Thursday episodes or the Tuesday fifth Thing episode, because
I feel like we're all a community trying to help
(02:20):
each other out, make each other better, make each other think,
ask each other questions, hold each other accountable. And so
her story is about holding onto hope, which again is
another thing that we all definitely need. This year. Okay,
so before we get into the actual episode something, I'm
getting lots of d m s about our our four
(02:40):
Things Christmas pullovers, the customized ones that are read that
we have done the past couple of years. A lot
of people just curious if we're doing them, and yes
we are, I mean announced the day they're going up,
and that is October six, So you've got about a
week to be thinking of the four things you want
on your Christmas pullover. And everybody's looking to get in
the Christmas spirit way earlier this year, so that's why
(03:02):
we're just putting them out October six. Then they'll get made,
they'll get shipped out. Doesn't mean you'll be getting them
right away because they are custom made just for you,
but we are launching them next Friday, so be thinking
of your four things. We'll be putting up prompts on
Instagram that you can like see the words lists helpful
cheat sheets to help you come up with the cutest
four things, especially if you want to make them as
(03:23):
a gift for somebody else. Those cheat sheets can be helpful,
so make sure you're following at shop a spawn Instagram
and at the shop forward and then I'm at Radio AMI,
So between following all those accounts, you for sure should
not miss that they are going up and you'll be
able to see the prompts that we put up as well,
and that way you can be coming up with the
perfect four Things Christmas pullover. So that'll be Friday, October sixteenth, which, again,
(03:47):
this is a podcast. I have no idea when you're
listening to this, but if you're listening to it on time,
you got one week to come up with your pullovers,
So good luck with that and I hope you all
enjoy today's episode. First, well, I'm super excited to have
my friend Steve Mochler on today, which is super special
because he's an amazing singer songwriter here in Nashville. But
(04:09):
I'm lucky enough to like literally call him friend and
really good friends with his wife, Gracie. Probably heard me
mentioned her on the podcast before, but Steve, he's at
the house, say hey, good morning, Amy, how are you? So?
What's a song people would recognize if they're not? I mean,
I know you have a lot of great songs, but
trying to think of Dreiser. Riiser is probably the most
well known song I've written for Dirk Smilly. Yeah, and
(04:31):
so how did Dirk Spentley end up recording that? So?
I wrote that with a good buddy of Minam, Travis
meadows here in music Row, and it was pitched to
his producer, Arthur buene Horen, and we were shocked that
he wanted to record that song. We thought we'd just
be playing at the Bluebird Cafe, you know, sometime the
next week. And Dirk's loved it and named his album
after it and took it to the radio and changed
(04:51):
our lives. I love that song, but you have a lot.
What's your favorite song that you cut? Well, the most
well known song I've recorded, it's called Suitcase love it
first I ever HERU on the radio. It's hard for
me to say a favorite song that I've recorded. It's
like they're all children to you. Yeah, I guess there's
I can go with the children, asked the ones I
record are really special. I write so many songs. A
(05:13):
lot of them are you know, scraps, And I I
think of songwriting a lot like it's like exercising. You're
just like lifting weights, keeping your songwriting muscles strong. And
then when you have a great idea, something inspired you're
you're fit, and you're in shape with draining other ones
to life. Well, speaking of your songwriting, that's why you're
here because you have something really cool that you're launching
in the next two weeks that people can be a
(05:34):
part of. But then you also have a really special
surprise for my listeners. So talk about this crazy, wild,
fun idea that you had that you're going to be
doing to write songs for people. Yeah, so we we
launched a campaign. It's called song Portraits, and it came
about really naturally. This is how it happened about. In January,
one of our listeners hit me up and said, Hey,
(05:55):
send me a message and sayd Hey, my wife's forty
is birthdays coming up. I really want to do something special.
Could I commission you to write her a song if
I kind of gave you some some words and stories
and just kind of shared my heart for her. And
at first I was like, man, I don't know, that's
that's not really how we do things in Nashville. But
I really like this guy, and I was like, let's
just give it a shot. Why why not We're writing
(06:16):
songs that nobody here all the time, why don't we
write a meaningful song for someone particular and and it
went really well. I really enjoyed writing the song, and
it was a really fun collaboration and it meant so
much to his wife and it's gonna last forever, like
kind of like a piece of jewelry or like that,
you know, And it was fun, and I had someone
else messaged me about it. I'm like, wait, there might
(06:37):
be something here. So, you know, in this this year
that's been unlike any other year. I thought it'd be
fun to launch a new project, unlike anything we've done before,
and write some customized personal songs for people. So how
do people get the song written? There's like a whole
bidding problem. Yeah, so that's you know, obviously we can't
write all these songs probably, but for the next two weeks,
(06:58):
you can head to my website or you know, Steve
Maker dot com, song dash portraits or link on my
instagrams in all those places, not won't be hard to
find m o a k l e R. M o
a k l e R. And you can just see
some simple you know, frequently ask questions. If you like
what you see, you can submit a bid, which include
the deadline that you want your song written by it,
whether that's you know, an anniversary, a birthday, you know,
(07:20):
mother's day. These can be love songs, they can be tributes,
and I can write a song for your dog, whatever
your heart, yourself, I'm open for yourself, attribute to yourself.
Anything's on the table, and our plan is to choose
ten that we're going to write over the course of
the next year. Okay, so people, it's they're just submitting
the bid, submitting if you're just going to get picked.
(07:40):
But it might, it might, and it is something super
special for It's a gift. It's a gift. It's a
big gift. We're hoping that's that's the goal. And Steve
is very talented, so I have no doubt that the
songs will turn out amazing and be something that's super
special for people for many many years. Like I'm picturing
even and you know down the line of you know,
(08:02):
years from now. My grandpa had this songwriter in Nashville,
right my grandma this song. His name was Steve Mochler,
And this is my grandpa's old download in P three
of it or whatever however they're listening check it out.
Let me find a iPhone plug I'll play it for
you like somehow however, we're listening to music in the future.
(08:23):
But I just it's something that's special that can be
handed down and maybe people could dance to it that
future grandchild gets married one day and it's like, I
want to dance to that song grandpa had written for
I don't know. I'm just thinking thought there could be
some cool moments, for sure, But you do have something
really cool for my listeners, which I think is super
(08:44):
generous and special and I think could be really cool.
But you want to gift one to a listener here.
And so we're just going to have people email their story.
Who do you want it written for and about, what's
the premise, what's occasion, what's your background, why would this
be special, when's the do date or when would be
(09:06):
ideal to have it done? And then send the email
to four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com
and share us a little bit about you and all
that I just mentioned, and then Steve and I will
go through the emails and pick one. I'm going to
choose a lucky winner. We're gonna write you a heartfelt
song written just for you, unlike anything else in the world.
So if I write one word? Am I co writer?
(09:28):
So now I will come in and I will contribute
my one word and I'll be a co write with you.
That's right, it'll be. It'll be a three way co write.
Whoever contributes this their their heart, their story, Amy Brown myself,
we're gonna make something, oh my first country song? Do
you have a vibe that you're fitting for people like
if they say I want it slow fast? So once
you're chechneil, so you submit an offer, it's just a
(09:50):
basic who it's for the day you need to buy
the bid. We're going to choose ten and if you're chosen,
I'm going to send you some writing prompts. So there's
a little bit of homework and and I one of
the first things is tell me five songs that make
you think of this person. So from that, I'm going
to gather what's the tempo, you know, what's the spirit,
what's the feel? What are you looking for? And then
(10:10):
there's you know, other questions like tell me some of
your favorite memories of this person where some adjectives used
to describe them. Why do you want to write a song?
And I'm going to kind of pull from all of
that nice, but it'll all feel as far as vibe
and feel. You know, it's going to be in the
world of my music. You know, it's not gonna I'm
not gonna write somebody like a Prince song. I'm just
not gonna come out like that if I write it. Okay, Well,
(10:30):
good things. Steve's world of music is really really good.
So I would encourage all to go to Steve mokelore
dot com if you would like to put in a bid,
but obviously too, He's generous and going to be doing
a giveaway for you guys. So if you don't win
the giveaway, you may win the bid, or just try
to get involved if you can, and if that's something
(10:51):
that would be special to you or somebody in your life,
and then check out Steve's music. He's actually gonna be
on with me for the second thing. We're going to
talk about a little bit of music and words and positivity.
I think that you can probably relate to the second
thing we're going to get into. So Steve will be
joining me for that. But where do you like to
send people to find your music? Yeah, I would say
(11:15):
come check me out on Instagram. Gets a note, you know,
just a little bit more about our stree in our
story and then go to Steve Makler dot com and
and are you at Steve Mokeler on Instagram at Steve
Mokeler m O A k l e R. Second thing. Okay,
So Steve, it's perfect that you're here for this because
I was reading about music and how it does more
(11:35):
than just improve your mood, Like do you have times
where you're either up or down or what? Like? Does
music your go to? Especially definitely music is medicine. It
changes the atmosphere. If you're like Bobby when he is happy,
he actually listens to sad music and it keeps them happy.
Like that's what his like, I listened to sad music
(11:56):
to feel maybe sad. Maybe there's some emotion I need
to get out there and I will do. You that
sad music actually makes him feel good for him, He's like,
I think it's just awesome that I'm feeling something right,
you know, instead of numbing out or suppressing. So what's
your go to? Like? Do you have different moods when
I come home or I'm done working. I love like
(12:18):
to unwind. I love to put on like Ray Charles
or Sam Cook or I don't know, kind of some
throwback soul music is my like, oh, it's like getting
in a warm bath. What about trying to get all
pumped up? Man, if you know what's funny, I feel like,
if I'm gonna get pumped up, I'll throw on some
Bruce Springsteen or YouTube or Eric Church, something with like
(12:40):
a rock and roll kind of belly to it. You
can get two birds with one stone if you throw
on Eric Church playing Bruce Springsteen and I do it times.
I do it sometimes, but I'm not like, I'm not
really like a rap or a heavy metal even when
I'm getting pumped up, the music is probably someone else's
like soft rock and still yeah, I just I like
(13:01):
some you know, Tupac or Biggie. I can get into
that company with that. Well, what I found was this
article talking about how researchers found that music doesn't just
improve your mood, but it can also improve your focus. So,
I don't know if you haven't ever had trouble focusing,
but they said that listening to your favorite song for
three minutes activates nerves within the brain that improve concentration
(13:24):
even faster and more effectively than coffee. So if you're
having trouble before your next song, right, focusing, that's your
job thinking. I always have trouble focusing because I have
a d D. But maybe I just need to pop
on my favorite song for three minutes and it'll activate
my brain to focus. That's great. I mean you can
do that with the coffee too. I mean that's and
then double whammy coffee too makes me think this other
(13:47):
thing I saw, but then I don't have the details
in front of me. But if you're going to have
an argument with your spouse, I don't know how you
engrace the ever handle arguments, but you should do it
over a cup of coffee. It feels more like a
talk and schedule thing, like we're gonna sit here, we're
gonna have our coffee, we're gonna talk like adults, and
it doesn't end up too intense. Yeah, that seems like
it would make a lost sense, just like planning an argument,
(14:09):
or if I already it feels like if it's planned,
you're not gonna like just go off the you know,
fly off the handle. Yeah, because you can think through
what you want to say, gives you a second. You
pour you a cup of coffee, You sit down, So
that's a tip if you get into an argument and
would be like, okay, pause, time out, Maybe we need
to schedule this. Maybe listen to your favorite song for
three minutes and then sit down and have the coffee
(14:30):
and then have your fight. Probably probably a pretty that way,
you'll be totally focused on what you want to say,
and you'll say it. And then I also saw too.
I don't know. I just keep thinking of all the
studies that I've been seeing, but I know I wanted
to talk about healthy words. The more positive you keep
your vocabulary, the better your mental health. Being a songwriter,
maybe that's part of I really believe that words just
(14:52):
carry so much weight, you know, in music and in life,
the things we say. I think that our heart tends
to follow our words. So I really try to be
careful about what I let slip out of my mouth.
And I don't even just mean like bad words. I
just mean negativity and try to keep it at bay
best I can. But said, people who use words like glad, joyful, gleeful, perky,
(15:13):
and jolly are likely to be in a good gleeful.
I'm gonna start is that what it was gleeful, you
gonna work that into a new song that might make
it into a song portrait will see. Cheerful words were
also linked to being more outgoing, agreeable, and conscientious. So
I feel like you're a pretty agreeable person, like go
(15:35):
with the flow. Yeah, pretty much. I have things I'm
stubborn about. You can ask Gracie, but mostly I try
to I'm a peacemaker as my person. I was gonna say,
what's your Instagram nine? I'm a nine, so so my
nature is to try to create harmony around me and
positive words, be agreeing. And Gracie's a seven, So what's
it like being married to some a seven as a nine.
(15:56):
It's a great combo and it's weird if you read
like on whatever that website is the relationship between the
seven and nine. We read that when it feels like
someone has cameras up in our house. It's like, yeah, yeah,
it's great. We we there's a lot of harmony between
sevens and nine. The challenge between seven and nine is
she wants to always be doing more fun stuff, variety,
and then the nine will sometimes kill her buzz where
(16:19):
I'm like, hey, that's a little too much, Like that's
causing stress, it's too much action, it's too much decisions,
too much whatever. So it's usually, um, that's that's our
biggest hurdle. Um. And it's almost every single fight or
disagreement we have comes back to that she wants more,
I want less, just of you name it, social time, parties, trips, anything.
(16:39):
But then you just need to grab a cup of
coffee and get down and talk about it. So yeah,
just keep that in your back pocket for your your
next sit down with your significant other, because I'm trying
to Even while you were talking, I was trying to
find the article that said it. It was said, in
a disagreement with your spouse, talking things out while having
a cup of coffee might just be the tick it too,
(17:00):
smoothing things over. In an Australian study, people were more
easily persuaded to see another's point of view after drinking
caffeated beverages. The researchers say that the caffeine enhances alertness
and concentration, making it more likely you'll come up with
a win win compromise. It's not exactly what I was
saying towards it, because I wanted to read the exact article,
but I think I also had read something else about
(17:21):
how you do schedule an argument is better. So it's
not this exact same thing that I know that I've
read too that maybe in the heat of the moment
isn't the time, So you take a time out and
you make an appointment. That way, you don't end up
saying things that you regret, and you can maybe even
calm down and realize whatever you're worked up about wasn't
even that big of a deal. But then, also, I
guess the caffeine will help you come to a win
(17:43):
win compromise. There you go, ta caffeine. I don't know.
So what you gathered from this is listen to your
favorite song for three minutes to work on your concentration. Also,
you need to have some coffee for your next argument,
and then choose healthy words positivity like gleeful starting with gleeful.
(18:06):
I didn't write that part. I was just reading the article.
Don't judge me, Steve, but I do hope it ends up.
Let's go. So I posted a funny meme the other
(18:26):
day that said me finally gets eight hours of sleep
my neck. Yeah, but you did it wrong, l O L,
which was totally fitting for me because the other day
I could barely move my neck, and then Gary, my chiropractor,
came over and worked on it and it felt better.
But then suddenly it moved to the other side and
I was like, but he came back over and fixed me.
(18:47):
And he's at my house right now, say hey, Gary, hello, hello,
And I was like, hey, we should go up and
record real quick on how we can help people prevent
maybe the shoulder neck area from getting to stressed. Now,
maybe it was because I slept wrong, whatever it was,
I know that I am very tense in my neck
and shoulder area and I have been for a few
(19:09):
weeks now, and I know that it could likely be
due to some stress I have going on in my life.
But a lot of people are stressed all the time.
For years and years we have been, but is particularly
rough with the pandemic and just there's been tons of
other things that have happened this year that have just
been like really, really, twenty how how can we handle
(19:30):
more of this? So depending on what people have going
on in their life, like, what are some things that
you recommend as a chiropractor to keep your clients feeling
more at ease in that next shoulder area. I think
a lot of the issues you're talking about. Like you said,
it's it's stuff that people have had. It's not necessarily
anything new that's come up. It's just they have these
(19:51):
things going on their daily life, whether it's bad posture,
sitting at a desk a lot, or they work a
very physical, manual job and this wear and tear starts
to build up up in their muscles and their joints
and around their nerves and things, but it doesn't really
bother them on the day to day. But now we're
in a time where everybody's stressed and we're releasing a
ton of corsol in our system, and corsol is a
very inflammatory type thing that it just highlights all of
(20:13):
the problems we already have going on. So Number one
is just finding a way to decrease that stress that
maybe get into a more mindfulness setting. So meditation is
a big one, even if it's just five minutes a
day of sitting down and trying to decompress and just
letting some of that stuff go and really working on
diaphragmentic breathing or belly breathing. Okay, so talk to me
(20:35):
about belly breathing, because we just did my adjustment. My
neck already feels better. And you started talking to me
about the breathing because I'm big on breathing and taking
breathing breaks if you will, to as a time out
sort of too. But I do that more for my
mind to clear my mind. But you're saying we can
breathe and that will also help release the tension, which
(20:55):
makes sense because my friend Mary does it for her
t m J. Yes. Yeah, not just for the mental
part of it. There is a physical component to this too.
So for a chest breather, which we see a lot
of stressed out people or chest breather's, but a lot
of normal people are chest breathers two, meaning I use
my neck muscles, my chest, my rib muscles to lift
my rib cage up when I breathe in that's putting
(21:15):
extra stress on those areas. That's just extra wear and tear,
extra inflammation and work that those areas need to do
that they don't really have to do. Ideally, we breathe
with our bellies. We let our diaphragm drop down, We
expand our belly into our waistband when we breathe. That's
the natural way to do it. Okay, So walk me
through a breathing Like, Sam, I'm breathing in what is
supposed to be happening to my Okay, So, like what
(21:36):
I do is I just kind of put my fingers
like right inside my waistband, kind of right on my
hip bones, and when I take a breath in, I
should feel my belly really push, yes, push my fingers out.
You can do it on the sides, like push it
kind of into your sides and do the same thing.
It's not just out the front. It needs to come
out the sides. It needs to come out the back.
Think of your belly is just a big water balloon
and you push down on the top of it and
(21:57):
the entire thing kind of expands out. That's what we
want to happen when we take a breath in. If
we do the opposite, if we're the chest breather and
I breathing through my nose and I lift my I'm
a chest freather. I do that everybody is. We see
it every single day, and people think they're doing the
right thing. They think, well, I'm taking time off and
I'm breathing and they're doing the mental stuff, but they're
(22:17):
not giving that neck and shoulder muscle break. So even
let's say it's someone in your case with this neck problem,
your your neck muscle is not even getting a break
when you think you're taking a break, and then you
go back to normal life, or you sit at the desk,
or you start recording or something, and you're in this
bad posture and then it doesn't get a break, and
then you go to sleep at night and maybe your
pillows slightly off. Oh what's the pillow that you recommended
(22:38):
for me that I now have and I love. We
like the coop pillows c o O P coop. It's
just really easy to change the fill in and out.
So someone like you or your normal daily fill might
be I'm making up a number, but the fill. Now
you have a problem with your neck, it's really easy
just to take some more of that out and adapt
to it and change it as your neck needs changing. Yeah,
(22:58):
because I kept the extra fill and I keep it
under my bed and then if I need to add
to it, So today, after you worked on my neck,
what do you think I need to add more to
my pillow tonight or take away? I might pull a
little bit out, but that's kind of the point of
seeing a chiropractor or a massage therapist or physical therapist,
someone that does a lot of this work. Is we
want your neck adapting to the pillow, not changing the
(23:21):
pillow to your next problem. So when you're healthy, you
should be able to lay on a good pillow, no problem,
whether it's full, whether it's flat, whatever. That's where these
good coupe pillows come in handy those. Okay, now we
have a problem and we have to work it out, yes,
but we can change that as we need to. Right now,
I have no affiliation with them, and I do enjoy
(23:42):
the pillow though, so we're just recommending that out there.
But I'm sure there might be other brands that people
could check out, but that's just the one that you
had me buy. So I really like it. So breathing
is one thing, and then sitting upright and posture relaxing.
But then I know you've talked to me before about
how oftentimes if I feel tight in the next shoulder area,
I'll stretch down. I'll stretch the areas that feel tight,
(24:05):
and you recommend to me to actually stretch the opposite,
So open up and stretch out with my chest. So
I know this is a podcast, So it's hard to
get the visual, but maybe as best as we can
explain to people how to stretch and open up instead
of overstretching the areas. Yeah, I like to use the
bully versus victim analogy. Victims are the painful spot, So
(24:26):
the things that are stressed out to the things that
are sore. So if we're talking about the back of
the neck or kind of the back of the shoulder region,
if we're sitting at a desk, that stuff is being
pulled on forward by gravity, by it's leaning forward, and
by our chest muscles in the front of our neck muscle.
So it's just it's stressing that stuff out. It's inflamed,
it's a little sore. And if I'm trying to stretch
(24:47):
that more because it's painful, and that's our natural tendency
is to stretch painful things, it might relieve it slightly,
but it's actually just feeding into the problem. It's stretching
an already too stretched out thing and now it's more painful.
We recommend doing the opposite. What's the bully is the
front stuff, So getting your arm kind of in a
door frame. So right now, as you're listening to this.
(25:07):
If you're by a door frame, go over by the
door and what put your arm Put your arm kind
out to ninety degrees, vend your elbow up to ninety degrees,
and then put the inside of your elbow and the
inside of your wrist on the door frame and then
just kind of lean through real easy, and too you
feel a stretch across the front of your chest. Yeah,
and then that's actually helping the tension back behind the victim.
(25:30):
It seems kind of intuitive. And I have a lot
of patients, especially on their first day in the office,
like this is a bunch of crap because I don't
feel it on my problem. How is this going to help.
We're trying to give the problem a break. It's been
just turned on, stressed out NonStop, and we're just trying
to give it a few seconds when you're doing the
stretch to give it a break. But that helps with
our sitting posture. We think about being in this forward
(25:51):
rolled forward posture where the shoulders are forward and the
neck and chest hunching over a computer. So if we
can give that a break to by opening up the chest,
giving the back of break, that's going to calm that
stuff down. A little bit. And I know you're big
two on calming areas through just being still in meditation.
So do you have a favorite app that you like.
I like the Calm Map, I really do. I'm actually
(26:14):
kind of new to it because I got a new
phone and it was preloaded on there, so I'm still
exploring it. Well, cool, it was preloaded. Well, I'm sure
they have a deal with whatever Google phone come. Well, yeah,
I'm sure that they're really into meditation. I'm sure at
Google they get our long meditation breaks while they're at work.
But even just know, if you just go online and
(26:34):
type in like free meditation app, there's something out there
that I'm sure for everybody, and you can just kind
of pick and choose the one you want and find
the one that's right for you. But even just if
you have a stopwatch and just say this is my
five minutes to sit and breathe, and just set a
five minute timer and just meditate and decompress and get
all of that mental stuff off your plate, it's going
(26:56):
to lower your cortosol levels, which is going to help
with the system wide inflamation going on in your body.
That's gonna take those painful areas and calm them down.
It's going to help your pain already just by removing
some inflammation from the system. And So if we're sitting
and breathing and meditating, do you have a recommended way
that we sit. Should we sit just on the floor?
Do you recommend sitting in a chair with good poster
(27:16):
and practicing the breathing while you're meditating and breathing with
the expanded belly. Could that be part of it? Yeah, absolutely,
I do. I know a lot of people that like
sitting for it. They like to just recline back and
do it. My favorite weight is like flat on my
back with my feet propped up on the wall or
just kind of propped up on the couch and I
lay there and I let my belly raise towards the ceiling,
(27:37):
let my back push into the floor while I'm doing
it too. What's the most peaceful creature you can think of,
really when they're relaxed is a baby. Babies are just
laying there, they're happy most times, they're breathing with their bellies,
no stress in their life. So I just I kind
of go to that place. I get on my back
and I propped my feet up and I just try
to go to that happy baby place. Oh that was
(27:57):
gonna say. That makes me think of the yoga Poe
happy Baby where you're laying on your back and you
use your hands to grab your feet and just rock
back and forth. Yeah. I don't even grab my feet.
I just put my feet flat on the on the
couch or wherever, and I let my hands sit on
my belly so when I breathe in, I can feel
that belly expansion towards the ceiling. So whenever I mean.
I went to a chiropractor, probably when I was eighteen,
(28:19):
nineteen twenty, the same lady, and I loved her and
she was great. I hadn't thought of this in quite
some time, but she used to have me laid that
way for something in my back. I don't think it's
maybe my lower back area, which you know, I have
a lot of issues there, but is there anything beneficial
to that? Why was she or maybe they were up
on my ankles were up on a like the couch chair,
(28:41):
and then my back was flat and she would have
me laid that way when we started into the rehab
aspect of things. There's there's one thing I like to
do with patients, it's make sure I get their rib
cage over top of their pelvis. So we tend to
be in this kind of anterior pelvic tilt you think of,
like my butts popped out and there's a big scoop
in my back and my chest is up at a
very stressful thing for the low back, a stressful position.
(29:02):
If I lay flat on the floor and put my
feet up on something that brings my pelvis in, my
ribs kind of parallel to each other, and that's just
an easier position for the low back. It's an easier
position to breathe in, and that makes that breathing easier. Awesome, Okay,
I forgot that she had me do that, and I
don't really think I've thought about that since then, But
that's probably how I'll start incorporating my breathing times, Like
(29:24):
if I need to take my breathing time out, I'm
gonna go late like that, and I'm gonna try to
breathe more mindfully. Like you were saying, I think I've
just been doing the counting like in for four, hold
for seven, out for eight, but I'm not really being
mindful of how I'm expanding and contracting or everything. It's
about the quality of the breathing to not just the quantity.
And I say that in my office constantly because people
(29:47):
will always say, I'm well, I'm breathing, I'm doing it.
It's but I'm looking at the quality of the breathing.
Are you getting that good belly expansion or are you
just laying there not thinking about it and taking this
chest breaths the whole time? Awesome, Well, thank you for
talking us through a few tips to at least help
us get some of the stress relief from some of
the stress. But then obviously, if something is chronic, you
(30:10):
should go see a professional. Maybe it might be something
you need to work through mentally, which we talk about
therapy a lot here on the podcast, so that would
be like a therapist, but you might need to go
see a massage therapist or a chiropractor like Gary. And
if you're in the Nashville area, he's here. I'm thankful
I have him come to my house because he happens
to be engaged to someone I work with. But where
(30:32):
can people find you? Yeah, So my office is called
Cumberland Chiropractic in sports Medicine. It's out in the Lebanon area,
just east of Nashville. So you can always just google
Cumberland chiropract in sports Medicine, call that number and get
on my schedule. That's pretty easy. But my email if
you just want to have any questions for me personally
or you want to talk about a lot of this stuff,
is just g D serveon C. E. R V O
(30:56):
and E at gmail dot com. Yeah, and he's not
just popping, but you do the what is it called,
So we're gonna do a lot of manual therapy and
soft tissue work. Soft tissue work, that's the word I
was looking for. So even today he popped me at
the very end, but the first ten twelve minutes was
all soft tissue work where he's really getting in there.
(31:17):
And sometimes you won't even pop. You may not even
adjust that way. You may just be adjusting through the
soft tissue. Yeah. If if a joint is stuck, for
lack of a better term, I mean, yes, it could
be in that actual joint, but it could be muscle
tension across that joint over top of the joint that
makes it feel stiff and adjusting you isn't really going
to do anything for that so we do that ten
(31:38):
to fifteen minutes of muscle work and nerve rely sometimes too.
And then if I feel the joint again and it's moving, fine, Yeah,
you don't really need adjusted that day. In case like
this you needed it. I need I needed the adjustment.
But I would recommend that no matter where you live,
if you're looking for someone to work on you that
is a chiropractor, try to double check and see if
(31:59):
they do off tissue work, because I've been to a
lot of different chiropractors and Gary's the first one that's
really done a lot of this self tissue stuff and
it definitely helps me. So just a tip from me
to you. It may not be your thing, you might
want to try something else for your body, but it's
what's worked for me lately, so I thought I would
just pass that along, and again, just make sure you're
(32:20):
taking care of yourself, take time out to breathe. But
it's quality over quantity. So I love when you'll send
me inspiring things and that I can pass along to
other listeners. What I'm going to share next comes to
(32:41):
us from a listener, Laura Bishop, who happens to be
a life coach, and I guess you put my four
Things podcast email in her newsletter, you know mail out list,
which is amazing. So I got her newsletter and I
read the entire thing and it's about hope, and I
thought it was something that would be beneficial or some
of you two here, so I wanted to share it
(33:03):
as a thing. So here is what Laura Bishop Coaching
sent out. How do I hold onto hope during this
crazy time of uncertainty? That was the question my client
asked me earlier this week, and I bet my life
you've pondered the same question over these last few months
as well. Day in and day out, we're hit with
bad news like a rumbling thunderstorm that just keeps on coming,
(33:24):
a national pandemic, mandatory shelter in place, racism, hurricanes, a
crumbling economy, riots, wildfires, and the passing of some of
the most influential and inspiring public figures. It's not surprising
that many of us are struggling to maintain a grip
on faith. Personally, I'm in the same boat as you.
For the past two years, Adam and I have been
(33:45):
trying to get pregnant. At first, when it didn't happen
right away, I chalked it up to us not living
together and possibly missing that important window. I begin to
believe stress was the culprit, and I just needed to
find time to slow down. After all, running a business,
buying a house of the love of your life, and
relocating to a new town can take a toll. However,
after a year of trying, I could no longer escape
(34:07):
the fact that something was possibly wrong, and so I deflected,
becoming hyper focused on my work, my relationship, and personal life,
all in an attempt to avoid fertility testing. I didn't
want to know, That's the honest truth. I didn't want
to be told that my eggs were bad or that
had missed my window. Hello, I'm almost forty and considered
geriatric in the world of fertility. Not knowing was easier
(34:28):
than letting go of a dream and facing a laundry
list of what ifs. However, living with my head in
the sand required a great deal of time and energy
and didn't get me any closer to parenthood. Eventually, I
was forced to take action. I am currently undergoing fertility treatments.
Some days are easier than others, but if I'm being transparent,
this experience is brutal. And heartbreaking and daunting. I am
(34:51):
powerless and that's been hard to accept. Espua means hope
in Haitian creole, and this has been my mantra over
the last few months. I literally wear a sweatshirt with
a squaw splashed across the front in bold, hot pink lettering,
my version of a lighthouse signaling the universe or my
higher power that I am ready to me. Hope is
(35:11):
a state of being based on a set of beliefs
that keep me moving forward in the face of adversity.
Isn't that what we're all doing right now, trudging along,
clinging to the belief that we will be okay despite
not knowing what tomorrow will look like. I don't think
I'd be able to wake up every day and help
others if it wasn't for an innate feeling that there
is light at the end of the tunnel. Even if
that light guides me down a different path, one that
(35:33):
is unexpected, it will still be a beautiful journey. And
the same goes for you. MAYA spa for you is
that you find peace, trust in the process, and accept
that you are exactly where you're meant to be. You
are okay, just as I am Okay always and forever.
So yeah, that is the newsletter I got from one
of our listeners, Laura Bishop, and thank you for that.
(35:56):
No matter where any of us are, there is hope.
And I love that r spaw pull over can be
something that Laura can wear to remind her of that hope.
Mary and I founded a spua to spread hope in
Haiti because yeah, a spaw means hope in Haitian creel
and I had a spat tattooed on my wrist because
I had hope that one day we would get my kids.
(36:17):
It was during the long adoption process that I finally
decided to put the tattoo on my wrist below my
mom's joy tattoo that I put on my wrist in
her handwriting, and that was to remind me to choose joy,
just like my mom did when she battled cancer, which
is where pimp and joy comes from. And then a
splaw comes from that. So I have the joy in
this spaw on my wrist is daily reminders. So if
(36:38):
some of you want to remind her, you can do
like Laura and maybe get a squaw item to remind
you about hope. Maybe you need a reminder of choosing
joy for yourself or spreading joy to others, So you
could get a Pimp and Joy item. Because the tattoo
is very permanent, an item of clothing might suffice for
a lot of you and in a better way. And
(36:59):
any time you shop any of that stuff, it also
gives back to a good cause. So thank you Laura
for this reminder, and I challenge all of you to
think of what brings you hope and how are you
holding onto it during this crazy year. It's a doozy
for sure. And I will say this. Earlier this week
(37:19):
on the Bobby Bones Show, we talked about fall Christmas trees.
So if you're wanting to, I don't know, change the
vibe in your house. People are putting up their Christmas
trees early and they're putting fall leaves on it and
pumpkins and making it fall and then come November they'll
transition it over to Christmas. So just a heads up
you could do that. It's a fun little tip radio
Amy dot com for anything that you may need a
(37:40):
spap and enjoy Bobby Bones Show all of that and
the links are there, and uh, I hope you all
have a great rest of your week. Thanks for listening. Bye,
Okay, little food for your sol life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
it's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth you're kicking four.
(00:32):
Happy Thursday, everybody. Hope y'all are having a great week.
Super excited to have my friend, singer songwriter here in Nashville,
Steve Mochler on with me for the first two things.
And the first thing, we get into a really cool
songwriting project that he just launched and you have an
opportunity to be a part of it. And he's doing
something really cool for my listeners, one of you, so
(00:54):
you'll want to listen up to see how maybe you
could have a song written for you that you can
gift to some one special in your life. And Steve
is a really amazing songwriter, but he also has this
whole project going on that you could be a part
of maybe if you don't get the giveaway that he's
doing here on the podcast. And then he's on with
me for the second thing to talking about there's a
study that was put out about music that it does
(01:16):
more than just improve your mood. And then Steve's an
overall positive person, pretty happy outlook on life, optimistic person,
so we get into the power of that a little
bit and using healthy words and how that could be
good for you. And then if you're having an argument
with your spouse, there is something that you should add
to the equation that will help you come to a
(01:38):
compromise more quickly. So Steve and I will share with
you what that is. And then my chiropractor is on
for the third thing, have a very diverse episode for you,
you guys this week, but he's on to talk about
simple ways to distress, which we all need that for
sure right now. I mean, any given year we can
have stress built up in our bodies, but especially this year.
(02:00):
There's no way that anybody in the world really hasn't
experienced some major stress this year. And then the fourth
thing is actually a story that I got from one
of you guys that I want to share, and I
love when you'll send me things that I can include
in Thursday episodes or the Tuesday fifth Thing episode, because
I feel like we're all a community trying to help
(02:20):
each other out, make each other better, make each other think,
ask each other questions, hold each other accountable. And so
her story is about holding onto hope, which again is
another thing that we all definitely need. This year. Okay,
so before we get into the actual episode something, I'm
getting lots of d m s about our our four
(02:40):
Things Christmas pullovers, the customized ones that are read that
we have done the past couple of years. A lot
of people just curious if we're doing them, and yes
we are, I mean announced the day they're going up,
and that is October six, So you've got about a
week to be thinking of the four things you want
on your Christmas pullover. And everybody's looking to get in
the Christmas spirit way earlier this year, so that's why
(03:02):
we're just putting them out October six. Then they'll get made,
they'll get shipped out. Doesn't mean you'll be getting them
right away because they are custom made just for you,
but we are launching them next Friday, so be thinking
of your four things. We'll be putting up prompts on
Instagram that you can like see the words lists helpful
cheat sheets to help you come up with the cutest
four things, especially if you want to make them as
(03:23):
a gift for somebody else. Those cheat sheets can be helpful,
so make sure you're following at shop a spawn Instagram
and at the shop forward and then I'm at Radio AMI,
So between following all those accounts, you for sure should
not miss that they are going up and you'll be
able to see the prompts that we put up as well,
and that way you can be coming up with the
perfect four Things Christmas pullover. So that'll be Friday, October sixteenth, which, again,
(03:47):
this is a podcast. I have no idea when you're
listening to this, but if you're listening to it on time,
you got one week to come up with your pullovers,
So good luck with that and I hope you all
enjoy today's episode. First, well, I'm super excited to have
my friend Steve Mochler on today, which is super special
because he's an amazing singer songwriter here in Nashville. But
(04:09):
I'm lucky enough to like literally call him friend and
really good friends with his wife, Gracie. Probably heard me
mentioned her on the podcast before, but Steve, he's at
the house, say hey, good morning, Amy, how are you? So?
What's a song people would recognize if they're not? I mean,
I know you have a lot of great songs, but
trying to think of Dreiser. Riiser is probably the most
well known song I've written for Dirk Smilly. Yeah, and
(04:31):
so how did Dirk Spentley end up recording that? So?
I wrote that with a good buddy of Minam, Travis
meadows here in music Row, and it was pitched to
his producer, Arthur buene Horen, and we were shocked that
he wanted to record that song. We thought we'd just
be playing at the Bluebird Cafe, you know, sometime the
next week. And Dirk's loved it and named his album
after it and took it to the radio and changed
(04:51):
our lives. I love that song, but you have a lot.
What's your favorite song that you cut? Well, the most
well known song I've recorded, it's called Suitcase love it
first I ever HERU on the radio. It's hard for
me to say a favorite song that I've recorded. It's
like they're all children to you. Yeah, I guess there's
I can go with the children, asked the ones I
record are really special. I write so many songs. A
(05:13):
lot of them are you know, scraps, And I I
think of songwriting a lot like it's like exercising. You're
just like lifting weights, keeping your songwriting muscles strong. And
then when you have a great idea, something inspired you're
you're fit, and you're in shape with draining other ones
to life. Well, speaking of your songwriting, that's why you're
here because you have something really cool that you're launching
in the next two weeks that people can be a
(05:34):
part of. But then you also have a really special
surprise for my listeners. So talk about this crazy, wild,
fun idea that you had that you're going to be
doing to write songs for people. Yeah, so we we
launched a campaign. It's called song Portraits, and it came
about really naturally. This is how it happened about. In January,
one of our listeners hit me up and said, Hey,
(05:55):
send me a message and sayd Hey, my wife's forty
is birthdays coming up. I really want to do something special.
Could I commission you to write her a song if
I kind of gave you some some words and stories
and just kind of shared my heart for her. And
at first I was like, man, I don't know, that's
that's not really how we do things in Nashville. But
I really like this guy, and I was like, let's
just give it a shot. Why why not We're writing
(06:16):
songs that nobody here all the time, why don't we
write a meaningful song for someone particular and and it
went really well. I really enjoyed writing the song, and
it was a really fun collaboration and it meant so
much to his wife and it's gonna last forever, like
kind of like a piece of jewelry or like that,
you know, And it was fun, and I had someone
else messaged me about it. I'm like, wait, there might
(06:37):
be something here. So, you know, in this this year
that's been unlike any other year. I thought it'd be
fun to launch a new project, unlike anything we've done before,
and write some customized personal songs for people. So how
do people get the song written? There's like a whole
bidding problem. Yeah, so that's you know, obviously we can't
write all these songs probably, but for the next two weeks,
(06:58):
you can head to my website or you know, Steve
Maker dot com, song dash portraits or link on my
instagrams in all those places, not won't be hard to
find m o a k l e R. M o
a k l e R. And you can just see
some simple you know, frequently ask questions. If you like
what you see, you can submit a bid, which include
the deadline that you want your song written by it,
whether that's you know, an anniversary, a birthday, you know,
(07:20):
mother's day. These can be love songs, they can be tributes,
and I can write a song for your dog, whatever
your heart, yourself, I'm open for yourself, attribute to yourself.
Anything's on the table, and our plan is to choose
ten that we're going to write over the course of
the next year. Okay, so people, it's they're just submitting
the bid, submitting if you're just going to get picked.
(07:40):
But it might, it might, and it is something super
special for It's a gift. It's a gift. It's a
big gift. We're hoping that's that's the goal. And Steve
is very talented, so I have no doubt that the
songs will turn out amazing and be something that's super
special for people for many many years. Like I'm picturing
even and you know down the line of you know,
(08:02):
years from now. My grandpa had this songwriter in Nashville,
right my grandma this song. His name was Steve Mochler,
And this is my grandpa's old download in P three
of it or whatever however they're listening check it out.
Let me find a iPhone plug I'll play it for
you like somehow however, we're listening to music in the future.
(08:23):
But I just it's something that's special that can be
handed down and maybe people could dance to it that
future grandchild gets married one day and it's like, I
want to dance to that song grandpa had written for
I don't know. I'm just thinking thought there could be
some cool moments, for sure, But you do have something
really cool for my listeners, which I think is super
(08:44):
generous and special and I think could be really cool.
But you want to gift one to a listener here.
And so we're just going to have people email their story.
Who do you want it written for and about, what's
the premise, what's occasion, what's your background, why would this
be special, when's the do date or when would be
(09:06):
ideal to have it done? And then send the email
to four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com
and share us a little bit about you and all
that I just mentioned, and then Steve and I will
go through the emails and pick one. I'm going to
choose a lucky winner. We're gonna write you a heartfelt
song written just for you, unlike anything else in the world.
So if I write one word? Am I co writer?
(09:28):
So now I will come in and I will contribute
my one word and I'll be a co write with you.
That's right, it'll be. It'll be a three way co write.
Whoever contributes this their their heart, their story, Amy Brown myself,
we're gonna make something, oh my first country song? Do
you have a vibe that you're fitting for people like
if they say I want it slow fast? So once
you're chechneil, so you submit an offer, it's just a
(09:50):
basic who it's for the day you need to buy
the bid. We're going to choose ten and if you're chosen,
I'm going to send you some writing prompts. So there's
a little bit of homework and and I one of
the first things is tell me five songs that make
you think of this person. So from that, I'm going
to gather what's the tempo, you know, what's the spirit,
what's the feel? What are you looking for? And then
(10:10):
there's you know, other questions like tell me some of
your favorite memories of this person where some adjectives used
to describe them. Why do you want to write a song?
And I'm going to kind of pull from all of
that nice, but it'll all feel as far as vibe
and feel. You know, it's going to be in the
world of my music. You know, it's not gonna I'm
not gonna write somebody like a Prince song. I'm just
not gonna come out like that if I write it. Okay, Well,
(10:30):
good things. Steve's world of music is really really good.
So I would encourage all to go to Steve mokelore
dot com if you would like to put in a bid,
but obviously too, He's generous and going to be doing
a giveaway for you guys. So if you don't win
the giveaway, you may win the bid, or just try
to get involved if you can, and if that's something
(10:51):
that would be special to you or somebody in your life,
and then check out Steve's music. He's actually gonna be
on with me for the second thing. We're going to
talk about a little bit of music and words and positivity.
I think that you can probably relate to the second
thing we're going to get into. So Steve will be
joining me for that. But where do you like to
send people to find your music? Yeah, I would say
(11:15):
come check me out on Instagram. Gets a note, you know,
just a little bit more about our stree in our
story and then go to Steve Makler dot com and
and are you at Steve Mokeler on Instagram at Steve
Mokeler m O A k l e R. Second thing. Okay,
So Steve, it's perfect that you're here for this because
I was reading about music and how it does more
(11:35):
than just improve your mood, Like do you have times
where you're either up or down or what? Like? Does
music your go to? Especially definitely music is medicine. It
changes the atmosphere. If you're like Bobby when he is happy,
he actually listens to sad music and it keeps them happy.
Like that's what his like, I listened to sad music
(11:56):
to feel maybe sad. Maybe there's some emotion I need
to get out there and I will do. You that
sad music actually makes him feel good for him, He's like,
I think it's just awesome that I'm feeling something right,
you know, instead of numbing out or suppressing. So what's
your go to? Like? Do you have different moods when
I come home or I'm done working. I love like
(12:18):
to unwind. I love to put on like Ray Charles
or Sam Cook or I don't know, kind of some
throwback soul music is my like, oh, it's like getting
in a warm bath. What about trying to get all
pumped up? Man, if you know what's funny, I feel like,
if I'm gonna get pumped up, I'll throw on some
Bruce Springsteen or YouTube or Eric Church, something with like
(12:40):
a rock and roll kind of belly to it. You
can get two birds with one stone if you throw
on Eric Church playing Bruce Springsteen and I do it times.
I do it sometimes, but I'm not like, I'm not
really like a rap or a heavy metal even when
I'm getting pumped up, the music is probably someone else's
like soft rock and still yeah, I just I like
(13:01):
some you know, Tupac or Biggie. I can get into
that company with that. Well, what I found was this
article talking about how researchers found that music doesn't just
improve your mood, but it can also improve your focus. So,
I don't know if you haven't ever had trouble focusing,
but they said that listening to your favorite song for
three minutes activates nerves within the brain that improve concentration
(13:24):
even faster and more effectively than coffee. So if you're
having trouble before your next song, right, focusing, that's your
job thinking. I always have trouble focusing because I have
a d D. But maybe I just need to pop
on my favorite song for three minutes and it'll activate
my brain to focus. That's great. I mean you can
do that with the coffee too. I mean that's and
then double whammy coffee too makes me think this other
(13:47):
thing I saw, but then I don't have the details
in front of me. But if you're going to have
an argument with your spouse, I don't know how you
engrace the ever handle arguments, but you should do it
over a cup of coffee. It feels more like a
talk and schedule thing, like we're gonna sit here, we're
gonna have our coffee, we're gonna talk like adults, and
it doesn't end up too intense. Yeah, that seems like
it would make a lost sense, just like planning an argument,
(14:09):
or if I already it feels like if it's planned,
you're not gonna like just go off the you know,
fly off the handle. Yeah, because you can think through
what you want to say, gives you a second. You
pour you a cup of coffee, You sit down, So
that's a tip if you get into an argument and
would be like, okay, pause, time out, Maybe we need
to schedule this. Maybe listen to your favorite song for
three minutes and then sit down and have the coffee
(14:30):
and then have your fight. Probably probably a pretty that way,
you'll be totally focused on what you want to say,
and you'll say it. And then I also saw too.
I don't know. I just keep thinking of all the
studies that I've been seeing, but I know I wanted
to talk about healthy words. The more positive you keep
your vocabulary, the better your mental health. Being a songwriter,
maybe that's part of I really believe that words just
(14:52):
carry so much weight, you know, in music and in life,
the things we say. I think that our heart tends
to follow our words. So I really try to be
careful about what I let slip out of my mouth.
And I don't even just mean like bad words. I
just mean negativity and try to keep it at bay
best I can. But said, people who use words like glad, joyful, gleeful, perky,
(15:13):
and jolly are likely to be in a good gleeful.
I'm gonna start is that what it was gleeful, you
gonna work that into a new song that might make
it into a song portrait will see. Cheerful words were
also linked to being more outgoing, agreeable, and conscientious. So
I feel like you're a pretty agreeable person, like go
(15:35):
with the flow. Yeah, pretty much. I have things I'm
stubborn about. You can ask Gracie, but mostly I try
to I'm a peacemaker as my person. I was gonna say,
what's your Instagram nine? I'm a nine, so so my
nature is to try to create harmony around me and
positive words, be agreeing. And Gracie's a seven, So what's
it like being married to some a seven as a nine.
(15:56):
It's a great combo and it's weird if you read
like on whatever that website is the relationship between the
seven and nine. We read that when it feels like
someone has cameras up in our house. It's like, yeah, yeah,
it's great. We we there's a lot of harmony between
sevens and nine. The challenge between seven and nine is
she wants to always be doing more fun stuff, variety,
and then the nine will sometimes kill her buzz where
(16:19):
I'm like, hey, that's a little too much, Like that's
causing stress, it's too much action, it's too much decisions,
too much whatever. So it's usually, um, that's that's our
biggest hurdle. Um. And it's almost every single fight or
disagreement we have comes back to that she wants more,
I want less, just of you name it, social time, parties, trips, anything.
(16:39):
But then you just need to grab a cup of
coffee and get down and talk about it. So yeah,
just keep that in your back pocket for your your
next sit down with your significant other, because I'm trying
to Even while you were talking, I was trying to
find the article that said it. It was said, in
a disagreement with your spouse, talking things out while having
a cup of coffee might just be the tick it too,
(17:00):
smoothing things over. In an Australian study, people were more
easily persuaded to see another's point of view after drinking
caffeated beverages. The researchers say that the caffeine enhances alertness
and concentration, making it more likely you'll come up with
a win win compromise. It's not exactly what I was
saying towards it, because I wanted to read the exact article,
but I think I also had read something else about
(17:21):
how you do schedule an argument is better. So it's
not this exact same thing that I know that I've
read too that maybe in the heat of the moment
isn't the time, So you take a time out and
you make an appointment. That way, you don't end up
saying things that you regret, and you can maybe even
calm down and realize whatever you're worked up about wasn't
even that big of a deal. But then, also, I
guess the caffeine will help you come to a win
(17:43):
win compromise. There you go, ta caffeine. I don't know.
So what you gathered from this is listen to your
favorite song for three minutes to work on your concentration. Also,
you need to have some coffee for your next argument,
and then choose healthy words positivity like gleeful starting with gleeful.
(18:06):
I didn't write that part. I was just reading the article.
Don't judge me, Steve, but I do hope it ends up.
Let's go. So I posted a funny meme the other
(18:26):
day that said me finally gets eight hours of sleep
my neck. Yeah, but you did it wrong, l O L,
which was totally fitting for me because the other day
I could barely move my neck, and then Gary, my chiropractor,
came over and worked on it and it felt better.
But then suddenly it moved to the other side and
I was like, but he came back over and fixed me.
(18:47):
And he's at my house right now, say hey, Gary, hello, hello,
And I was like, hey, we should go up and
record real quick on how we can help people prevent
maybe the shoulder neck area from getting to stressed. Now,
maybe it was because I slept wrong, whatever it was,
I know that I am very tense in my neck
and shoulder area and I have been for a few
(19:09):
weeks now, and I know that it could likely be
due to some stress I have going on in my life.
But a lot of people are stressed all the time.
For years and years we have been, but is particularly
rough with the pandemic and just there's been tons of
other things that have happened this year that have just
been like really, really, twenty how how can we handle
(19:30):
more of this? So depending on what people have going
on in their life, like, what are some things that
you recommend as a chiropractor to keep your clients feeling
more at ease in that next shoulder area. I think
a lot of the issues you're talking about. Like you said,
it's it's stuff that people have had. It's not necessarily
anything new that's come up. It's just they have these
(19:51):
things going on their daily life, whether it's bad posture,
sitting at a desk a lot, or they work a
very physical, manual job and this wear and tear starts
to build up up in their muscles and their joints
and around their nerves and things, but it doesn't really
bother them on the day to day. But now we're
in a time where everybody's stressed and we're releasing a
ton of corsol in our system, and corsol is a
very inflammatory type thing that it just highlights all of
(20:13):
the problems we already have going on. So Number one
is just finding a way to decrease that stress that
maybe get into a more mindfulness setting. So meditation is
a big one, even if it's just five minutes a
day of sitting down and trying to decompress and just
letting some of that stuff go and really working on
diaphragmentic breathing or belly breathing. Okay, so talk to me
(20:35):
about belly breathing, because we just did my adjustment. My
neck already feels better. And you started talking to me
about the breathing because I'm big on breathing and taking
breathing breaks if you will, to as a time out
sort of too. But I do that more for my
mind to clear my mind. But you're saying we can
breathe and that will also help release the tension, which
(20:55):
makes sense because my friend Mary does it for her
t m J. Yes. Yeah, not just for the mental
part of it. There is a physical component to this too.
So for a chest breather, which we see a lot
of stressed out people or chest breather's, but a lot
of normal people are chest breathers two, meaning I use
my neck muscles, my chest, my rib muscles to lift
my rib cage up when I breathe in that's putting
(21:15):
extra stress on those areas. That's just extra wear and tear,
extra inflammation and work that those areas need to do
that they don't really have to do. Ideally, we breathe
with our bellies. We let our diaphragm drop down, We
expand our belly into our waistband when we breathe. That's
the natural way to do it. Okay, So walk me
through a breathing Like, Sam, I'm breathing in what is
supposed to be happening to my Okay, So, like what
(21:36):
I do is I just kind of put my fingers
like right inside my waistband, kind of right on my
hip bones, and when I take a breath in, I
should feel my belly really push, yes, push my fingers out.
You can do it on the sides, like push it
kind of into your sides and do the same thing.
It's not just out the front. It needs to come
out the sides. It needs to come out the back.
Think of your belly is just a big water balloon
and you push down on the top of it and
(21:57):
the entire thing kind of expands out. That's what we
want to happen when we take a breath in. If
we do the opposite, if we're the chest breather and
I breathing through my nose and I lift my I'm
a chest freather. I do that everybody is. We see
it every single day, and people think they're doing the
right thing. They think, well, I'm taking time off and
I'm breathing and they're doing the mental stuff, but they're
(22:17):
not giving that neck and shoulder muscle break. So even
let's say it's someone in your case with this neck problem,
your your neck muscle is not even getting a break
when you think you're taking a break, and then you
go back to normal life, or you sit at the desk,
or you start recording or something, and you're in this
bad posture and then it doesn't get a break, and
then you go to sleep at night and maybe your
pillows slightly off. Oh what's the pillow that you recommended
(22:38):
for me that I now have and I love. We
like the coop pillows c o O P coop. It's
just really easy to change the fill in and out.
So someone like you or your normal daily fill might
be I'm making up a number, but the fill. Now
you have a problem with your neck, it's really easy
just to take some more of that out and adapt
to it and change it as your neck needs changing. Yeah,
(22:58):
because I kept the extra fill and I keep it
under my bed and then if I need to add
to it, So today, after you worked on my neck,
what do you think I need to add more to
my pillow tonight or take away? I might pull a
little bit out, but that's kind of the point of
seeing a chiropractor or a massage therapist or physical therapist,
someone that does a lot of this work. Is we
want your neck adapting to the pillow, not changing the
(23:21):
pillow to your next problem. So when you're healthy, you
should be able to lay on a good pillow, no problem,
whether it's full, whether it's flat, whatever. That's where these
good coupe pillows come in handy those. Okay, now we
have a problem and we have to work it out, yes,
but we can change that as we need to. Right now,
I have no affiliation with them, and I do enjoy
(23:42):
the pillow though, so we're just recommending that out there.
But I'm sure there might be other brands that people
could check out, but that's just the one that you
had me buy. So I really like it. So breathing
is one thing, and then sitting upright and posture relaxing.
But then I know you've talked to me before about
how oftentimes if I feel tight in the next shoulder area,
I'll stretch down. I'll stretch the areas that feel tight,
(24:05):
and you recommend to me to actually stretch the opposite,
So open up and stretch out with my chest. So
I know this is a podcast, So it's hard to
get the visual, but maybe as best as we can
explain to people how to stretch and open up instead
of overstretching the areas. Yeah, I like to use the
bully versus victim analogy. Victims are the painful spot, So
(24:26):
the things that are stressed out to the things that
are sore. So if we're talking about the back of
the neck or kind of the back of the shoulder region,
if we're sitting at a desk, that stuff is being
pulled on forward by gravity, by it's leaning forward, and
by our chest muscles in the front of our neck muscle.
So it's just it's stressing that stuff out. It's inflamed,
it's a little sore. And if I'm trying to stretch
(24:47):
that more because it's painful, and that's our natural tendency
is to stretch painful things, it might relieve it slightly,
but it's actually just feeding into the problem. It's stretching
an already too stretched out thing and now it's more painful.
We recommend doing the opposite. What's the bully is the
front stuff, So getting your arm kind of in a
door frame. So right now, as you're listening to this.
(25:07):
If you're by a door frame, go over by the
door and what put your arm Put your arm kind
out to ninety degrees, vend your elbow up to ninety degrees,
and then put the inside of your elbow and the
inside of your wrist on the door frame and then
just kind of lean through real easy, and too you
feel a stretch across the front of your chest. Yeah,
and then that's actually helping the tension back behind the victim.
(25:30):
It seems kind of intuitive. And I have a lot
of patients, especially on their first day in the office,
like this is a bunch of crap because I don't
feel it on my problem. How is this going to help.
We're trying to give the problem a break. It's been
just turned on, stressed out NonStop, and we're just trying
to give it a few seconds when you're doing the
stretch to give it a break. But that helps with
our sitting posture. We think about being in this forward
(25:51):
rolled forward posture where the shoulders are forward and the
neck and chest hunching over a computer. So if we
can give that a break to by opening up the chest,
giving the back of break, that's going to calm that
stuff down. A little bit. And I know you're big
two on calming areas through just being still in meditation.
So do you have a favorite app that you like.
I like the Calm Map, I really do. I'm actually
(26:14):
kind of new to it because I got a new
phone and it was preloaded on there, so I'm still
exploring it. Well, cool, it was preloaded. Well, I'm sure
they have a deal with whatever Google phone come. Well, yeah,
I'm sure that they're really into meditation. I'm sure at
Google they get our long meditation breaks while they're at work.
But even just know, if you just go online and
(26:34):
type in like free meditation app, there's something out there
that I'm sure for everybody, and you can just kind
of pick and choose the one you want and find
the one that's right for you. But even just if
you have a stopwatch and just say this is my
five minutes to sit and breathe, and just set a
five minute timer and just meditate and decompress and get
all of that mental stuff off your plate, it's going
(26:56):
to lower your cortosol levels, which is going to help
with the system wide inflamation going on in your body.
That's gonna take those painful areas and calm them down.
It's going to help your pain already just by removing
some inflammation from the system. And So if we're sitting
and breathing and meditating, do you have a recommended way
that we sit. Should we sit just on the floor?
Do you recommend sitting in a chair with good poster
(27:16):
and practicing the breathing while you're meditating and breathing with
the expanded belly. Could that be part of it? Yeah, absolutely,
I do. I know a lot of people that like
sitting for it. They like to just recline back and
do it. My favorite weight is like flat on my
back with my feet propped up on the wall or
just kind of propped up on the couch and I
lay there and I let my belly raise towards the ceiling,
(27:37):
let my back push into the floor while I'm doing
it too. What's the most peaceful creature you can think of,
really when they're relaxed is a baby. Babies are just
laying there, they're happy most times, they're breathing with their bellies,
no stress in their life. So I just I kind
of go to that place. I get on my back
and I propped my feet up and I just try
to go to that happy baby place. Oh that was
(27:57):
gonna say. That makes me think of the yoga Poe
happy Baby where you're laying on your back and you
use your hands to grab your feet and just rock
back and forth. Yeah. I don't even grab my feet.
I just put my feet flat on the on the
couch or wherever, and I let my hands sit on
my belly so when I breathe in, I can feel
that belly expansion towards the ceiling. So whenever I mean.
I went to a chiropractor, probably when I was eighteen,
(28:19):
nineteen twenty, the same lady, and I loved her and
she was great. I hadn't thought of this in quite
some time, but she used to have me laid that
way for something in my back. I don't think it's
maybe my lower back area, which you know, I have
a lot of issues there, but is there anything beneficial
to that? Why was she or maybe they were up
on my ankles were up on a like the couch chair,
(28:41):
and then my back was flat and she would have
me laid that way when we started into the rehab
aspect of things. There's there's one thing I like to
do with patients, it's make sure I get their rib
cage over top of their pelvis. So we tend to
be in this kind of anterior pelvic tilt you think of,
like my butts popped out and there's a big scoop
in my back and my chest is up at a
very stressful thing for the low back, a stressful position.
(29:02):
If I lay flat on the floor and put my
feet up on something that brings my pelvis in, my
ribs kind of parallel to each other, and that's just
an easier position for the low back. It's an easier
position to breathe in, and that makes that breathing easier. Awesome, Okay,
I forgot that she had me do that, and I
don't really think I've thought about that since then, But
that's probably how I'll start incorporating my breathing times, Like
(29:24):
if I need to take my breathing time out, I'm
gonna go late like that, and I'm gonna try to
breathe more mindfully. Like you were saying, I think I've
just been doing the counting like in for four, hold
for seven, out for eight, but I'm not really being
mindful of how I'm expanding and contracting or everything. It's
about the quality of the breathing to not just the quantity.
And I say that in my office constantly because people
(29:47):
will always say, I'm well, I'm breathing, I'm doing it.
It's but I'm looking at the quality of the breathing.
Are you getting that good belly expansion or are you
just laying there not thinking about it and taking this
chest breaths the whole time? Awesome, Well, thank you for
talking us through a few tips to at least help
us get some of the stress relief from some of
the stress. But then obviously, if something is chronic, you
(30:10):
should go see a professional. Maybe it might be something
you need to work through mentally, which we talk about
therapy a lot here on the podcast, so that would
be like a therapist, but you might need to go
see a massage therapist or a chiropractor like Gary. And
if you're in the Nashville area, he's here. I'm thankful
I have him come to my house because he happens
to be engaged to someone I work with. But where
(30:32):
can people find you? Yeah, So my office is called
Cumberland Chiropractic in sports Medicine. It's out in the Lebanon area,
just east of Nashville. So you can always just google
Cumberland chiropract in sports Medicine, call that number and get
on my schedule. That's pretty easy. But my email if
you just want to have any questions for me personally
or you want to talk about a lot of this stuff,
is just g D serveon C. E. R V O
(30:56):
and E at gmail dot com. Yeah, and he's not
just popping, but you do the what is it called,
So we're gonna do a lot of manual therapy and
soft tissue work. Soft tissue work, that's the word I
was looking for. So even today he popped me at
the very end, but the first ten twelve minutes was
all soft tissue work where he's really getting in there.
(31:17):
And sometimes you won't even pop. You may not even
adjust that way. You may just be adjusting through the
soft tissue. Yeah. If if a joint is stuck, for
lack of a better term, I mean, yes, it could
be in that actual joint, but it could be muscle
tension across that joint over top of the joint that
makes it feel stiff and adjusting you isn't really going
to do anything for that so we do that ten
(31:38):
to fifteen minutes of muscle work and nerve rely sometimes too.
And then if I feel the joint again and it's moving, fine, Yeah,
you don't really need adjusted that day. In case like
this you needed it. I need I needed the adjustment.
But I would recommend that no matter where you live,
if you're looking for someone to work on you that
is a chiropractor, try to double check and see if
(31:59):
they do off tissue work, because I've been to a
lot of different chiropractors and Gary's the first one that's
really done a lot of this self tissue stuff and
it definitely helps me. So just a tip from me
to you. It may not be your thing, you might
want to try something else for your body, but it's
what's worked for me lately, so I thought I would
just pass that along, and again, just make sure you're
(32:20):
taking care of yourself, take time out to breathe. But
it's quality over quantity. So I love when you'll send
me inspiring things and that I can pass along to
other listeners. What I'm going to share next comes to
(32:41):
us from a listener, Laura Bishop, who happens to be
a life coach, and I guess you put my four
Things podcast email in her newsletter, you know mail out list,
which is amazing. So I got her newsletter and I
read the entire thing and it's about hope, and I
thought it was something that would be beneficial or some
of you two here, so I wanted to share it
(33:03):
as a thing. So here is what Laura Bishop Coaching
sent out. How do I hold onto hope during this
crazy time of uncertainty? That was the question my client
asked me earlier this week, and I bet my life
you've pondered the same question over these last few months
as well. Day in and day out, we're hit with
bad news like a rumbling thunderstorm that just keeps on coming,
(33:24):
a national pandemic, mandatory shelter in place, racism, hurricanes, a
crumbling economy, riots, wildfires, and the passing of some of
the most influential and inspiring public figures. It's not surprising
that many of us are struggling to maintain a grip
on faith. Personally, I'm in the same boat as you.
For the past two years, Adam and I have been
(33:45):
trying to get pregnant. At first, when it didn't happen
right away, I chalked it up to us not living
together and possibly missing that important window. I begin to
believe stress was the culprit, and I just needed to
find time to slow down. After all, running a business,
buying a house of the love of your life, and
relocating to a new town can take a toll. However,
after a year of trying, I could no longer escape
(34:07):
the fact that something was possibly wrong, and so I deflected,
becoming hyper focused on my work, my relationship, and personal life,
all in an attempt to avoid fertility testing. I didn't
want to know, That's the honest truth. I didn't want
to be told that my eggs were bad or that
had missed my window. Hello, I'm almost forty and considered
geriatric in the world of fertility. Not knowing was easier
(34:28):
than letting go of a dream and facing a laundry
list of what ifs. However, living with my head in
the sand required a great deal of time and energy
and didn't get me any closer to parenthood. Eventually, I
was forced to take action. I am currently undergoing fertility treatments.
Some days are easier than others, but if I'm being transparent,
this experience is brutal. And heartbreaking and daunting. I am
(34:51):
powerless and that's been hard to accept. Espua means hope
in Haitian creole, and this has been my mantra over
the last few months. I literally wear a sweatshirt with
a squaw splashed across the front in bold, hot pink lettering,
my version of a lighthouse signaling the universe or my
higher power that I am ready to me. Hope is
(35:11):
a state of being based on a set of beliefs
that keep me moving forward in the face of adversity.
Isn't that what we're all doing right now, trudging along,
clinging to the belief that we will be okay despite
not knowing what tomorrow will look like. I don't think
I'd be able to wake up every day and help
others if it wasn't for an innate feeling that there
is light at the end of the tunnel. Even if
that light guides me down a different path, one that
(35:33):
is unexpected, it will still be a beautiful journey. And
the same goes for you. MAYA spa for you is
that you find peace, trust in the process, and accept
that you are exactly where you're meant to be. You
are okay, just as I am Okay always and forever.
So yeah, that is the newsletter I got from one
of our listeners, Laura Bishop, and thank you for that.
(35:56):
No matter where any of us are, there is hope.
And I love that r spaw pull over can be
something that Laura can wear to remind her of that hope.
Mary and I founded a spua to spread hope in
Haiti because yeah, a spaw means hope in Haitian creel
and I had a spat tattooed on my wrist because
I had hope that one day we would get my kids.
(36:17):
It was during the long adoption process that I finally
decided to put the tattoo on my wrist below my
mom's joy tattoo that I put on my wrist in
her handwriting, and that was to remind me to choose joy,
just like my mom did when she battled cancer, which
is where pimp and joy comes from. And then a
splaw comes from that. So I have the joy in
this spaw on my wrist is daily reminders. So if
(36:38):
some of you want to remind her, you can do
like Laura and maybe get a squaw item to remind
you about hope. Maybe you need a reminder of choosing
joy for yourself or spreading joy to others, So you
could get a Pimp and Joy item. Because the tattoo
is very permanent, an item of clothing might suffice for
a lot of you and in a better way. And
(36:59):
any time you shop any of that stuff, it also
gives back to a good cause. So thank you Laura
for this reminder, and I challenge all of you to
think of what brings you hope and how are you
holding onto it during this crazy year. It's a doozy
for sure. And I will say this. Earlier this week
(37:19):
on the Bobby Bones Show, we talked about fall Christmas trees.
So if you're wanting to, I don't know, change the
vibe in your house. People are putting up their Christmas
trees early and they're putting fall leaves on it and
pumpkins and making it fall and then come November they'll
transition it over to Christmas. So just a heads up
you could do that. It's a fun little tip radio
Amy dot com for anything that you may need a
(37:40):
spap and enjoy Bobby Bones Show all of that and
the links are there, and uh, I hope you all
have a great rest of your week. Thanks for listening. Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.