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January 21, 2021 15 mins

FIRST THING: Are you feeling ‘stuck’ because of certain emotions? Amy talks about a book she’s currently reading called ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’ by Lori Gottlieb, and reads a short part from it that talks about how we might be our own jailer. 

 

SECOND THING: Amy’s sister wrote a poem a long time ago called ‘Lucky Days’ after their mom passed. and Amy shares it! It may make you think differently about special moments in life, or even when you just see a penny on the ground!

 

THIRD THING: How many of you tried adding a few more habits or routines since the pandemic started? Now how many of you followed through, and still keep up with working out, or adding that new hobby to your life? Amy shares a study about how most of us have tried doing something new, but may have let it fall by the wayside. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try again!

 

FOURTH THING: Do you hit the snooze button a few to many times? Amy has completely eliminated snoozing, and gets asked about how she did it all the time! So she shares some tips that may help you stop hitting that button in 2021!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for yourself life. Ain't. Oh it's pretty Bay,
it's pretty beautiful thing that for a little moth kicking four.

(00:32):
For this first thing today, I want to ask you
a question. Do you ever feel completely stuck and trapped
by your emotions? While on Tuesday's fifth Thing episode, it
was all about therapy, so if you miss that, I
encourage you to go back and listen. But someone recently
emailed me who asked to be anonymous because there was
a lot of things in the email, but part of
their email talked about how they just feel so stuck,

(00:55):
and I think we've all been there, trapped by our emotions. Well,
in that therapy episode from Tuesday, I mentioned a book
that I'm reading right now called Maybe you Should talk
to Someone by Lori Gottlieb. And interestingly enough, after reading
that email that talked about being stuck emotionally, I came
to a chapter in the book Maybe You Should talk

(01:17):
to Someone that addresses this and the title of the
chapter is jail. And on page one fifty two, Lori
starts telling a story about something that her therapist Wendell
shared with her during one of their sessions. And I'm
just going to read it to you straight from the book,
because I feel like this is something that will be
really eye opening and you'll be like, huh, okay. So

(01:40):
here is what Laurie wrote. I'm reminded. He begins of
a famous cartoon. It's of a prisoner shaking the bars,
desperately trying to get out, but to his right and
his left it's open, no bars. He pauses, allowing the
image to sink in. All the prisoner has to do
is walk around, but still he frantically shakes the bars.

(02:03):
That's most of us. We feel completely stuck, trapped in
our emotional cells. But there's a way out, as long
as we're willing to see it. He lets that last
part linger between us, as long as we're willing to
see it. He gestures to an imaginary prison cell with
his hand, inviting me to see it. I look away,
but feel Wendell's eyes on me. I sigh, Okay, I

(02:28):
close my eyes and take a breath. I start by
picturing the prison, a tiny cell with drab, beige walz.
I picture the metal bars, gray and rusty. I picture
myself in an orange jumpsuit, furiously shaking those bars, pleading
for release. I picture my life in this tiny cell,
with nothing but the pungent smell of urine and the

(02:48):
prospect of a dismal, constrained future. I imagine screaming, get
me out of here, save me. I envisioned myself frantically
looking to my right, then to my left, then doing
one hell of the double take. I noticed my whole
body respond. I feel lighter, like a thousand pound weight
has been lifted. As the realization hits me, you are

(03:09):
your own jailer. I opened my eyes and glance at Wendel.
He raises his right eyebrow as if to say, I
know you see. I saw you see. Keep looking, he whispers.
I close my eyes again. Now I'm walking around the
bars and heading toward the exit, moving tentatively at first,

(03:30):
but as I get closer to it, I start to
run outside. I can feel my feet on the ground,
the breeze on my skin, the sun's warmth on my face.
I'm free. I run as fast as I can. Then
after a while I slowed down and checked behind me.
No prison guards are giving chase. It occurs to me
that there were no prison guards to begin with. Of course,

(03:51):
most of us come to therapy feeling trapped, imprisoned by
our thoughts, behaviors, marriages, jobs, fears, or past. Sometimes we
imprison ourselves with a narrative of self punishment. If we
have a choice between believing one of those two things,
both of which we have evidence for, I'm unlovable, I'm lovable,

(04:12):
often we choose the one that makes us feel bad.
Why do we keep our radio's tune to the same
static ridden stations? The everyone's life is better than Mine station,
the I can't trust people station, the nothing works out
for me station. Instead of moving the dial up or down,
change the station, walk around the bars. Who's stopping us

(04:32):
but ourselves? There is a way out, as long as
we're willing to see it. A cartoon of all things
has taught me the secret of life. Okay, So that's
an excerpt from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and
I encourage you to read it or download it on
audible to listen to it. I'm really really enjoying it,
and I hope that if you're currently stuck because of

(04:55):
certain emotions, you'll soon realize that you are your own
tailor and that there is a way out. So my
sister wrote a point that she says, is also a
song after my mom died, called Lucky Days. Now, my
sister is not a songwriter, so that is why she

(05:15):
calls it a poem most of the time. But she
is an amazing storyteller, which isn't that what songwriters are,
So maybe one day, if this is put to music,
she will be an official songwriter. But for now, I
just want to read Lucky Days to you. I think
a long long time ago, my sister and I may
have mentioned Lucky Days on the podcast, but I came

(05:36):
across it this week. It got hidden away during our move,
and I'm so glad that I found it because I
now want to get it reframed and hung somewhere that
I can see often now. My sister wrote it because
when she was little, if our mom found a penny,
she would put it in my sister's hand and say,
it's your lucky day. And then, ironically, many years later,

(06:00):
after receiving news that my mom's cancer was likely going
to take her life soon, our mom found a penny
in the MD Anderson Hospital parking garage again same day
she got terrible news. They looked at each other, my
sister and my mom and my sister just said, oh no, Mom, no,
how in the world is this a lucky day? So

(06:21):
while this point is special and personal to me, I
hope that after you hear it now, if you come
across a penny, you'll be able to see it as
a lucky day. No matter what. Here's the point. Sunny
penny on the asphalt, little brown eyed girl with her mama,
and she bends right down to pick it up and
cuts it like a secret in her tiny hand. Her

(06:42):
eyes look up and her mama looks down and says,
it's your lucky day. If these are lucky days, then
I'm going to save them up and cash o men
when things don't go my way and count them all
his blessings in my not enough. I'm going to pay
good to the bad and hope to the mess. Someday,
Lucky days. Shiny penny in the parking lot, grown girl

(07:03):
open in mama's door. Frail, Mama binds to pick it up,
her body too weak for treatment no more. The prayers
went up and the memories came down. Girl says, how
is this a lucky day? If these are lucky days,
then I've been saving up. I want to cash them
in today, because this is hard stuff, and I want

(07:24):
to pay good to this bad and hope to this mess.
Lucky days. Sometimes lucky is going home home to that
eternal place where pains no longer something you own, where
you sing of amazing grace. Girls lie by their mama's
side that bright morning she flew away, and their eyes

(07:44):
teared up, and God looked down and said, it's her
lucky day. Yes, these are lucky days. If you look
close enough, you can catch a glimpse of grace somehow,
even in the hard stuff, When that dirt road ahead
is not what you planned, get down on your knees
and pray for pennies. These are the lucky days. There's

(08:04):
good in the bad and joy in the mess. These
are the lucky days. So there you go. That's my
sister's poem about lucky days, and I hope it will
help you see something in life differently, and then you'll
be reminded of this every time you see a penny.

(08:26):
So while your New year's resolution might still be hanging
on by a thread, let's look back at the stuff
that we failed to follow through with last year. I
came across a new study that found the average American
has attempted to add nineteen new habits during the pandemic,
and they followed through with four of them. The most
popular habit we've tried to add is a new exercise routine.

(08:50):
A third of people wanted to but didn't follow through.
Not seeing results fast enough was one of the number
one reasons people quit, which I'm like, what why? And
Plus I would hope and encourage you that if you
are looking to add working out to your routine, that
it wouldn't be some form of punishment for yourself. For like,
you've got to form this new habit. You would do

(09:11):
it because it makes you feel good. And on some
days if it doesn't make you feel good, well you
don't do it. But you're not a failure. There's no
reason to give up on it. Maybe you just haven't
found the right thing, or maybe rest is what your
body needed that day, or that whole week or that
whole month. So in the article, it also listed the
five most common new habits that we failed at in Again,

(09:35):
this is according to a study Waking up Earlier of
us tried but it didn't stick. That's around one in
eight people meditating wanted to do that. Reading the news
more one and eleven people wanted to do that, which
what a year to try that one. Also, people wanted
to go to bed earlier. One in ten Americans tried

(09:55):
and failed that one. And then the last thing was
keeping a journal, which was also one in ten. So
I just again want to encourage you that if you
set out to do something this year that you failed
to do by failed, I mean by New Year's resolution standards,
it's never too late to just get back on the horse.
Who cares if you fell off, It doesn't matter. You
can still create the new habit. You just gotta go

(10:17):
for it again. And if you happen to be one
of the people that wants to add journaling to your life.
I have a little update for our Things Gratitude Challenge now.
I had mentioned last week that it might take place
in February, but we decided to do March again this year.
We did March last year and it ended up being
perfect timing. So February can be more of like a

(10:38):
warm up month and you can practice being consistent before
you just challenge yourself into thirty days in a row.
And while you can write down four things you're thankful
for on any journal that you have. It truly doesn't matter.
I'm just sharing too that if you want our four
Things Gratitude journal. This also gives you time to ask

(10:59):
for the jury all for Valentine's Day, or maybe buy
it as a little gift of love to yourself or
for yourself. So you can go to radio amy dot
com to shop any four Things items or splaw things
that support Haiti at the same time. And I think
the journal would make a super cute little Valentine's gift
if you're a mom that's listening, or a husband that

(11:21):
is listening, or a sister whoever you get Valentine's Day
gifts for. I don't know if that's even a thing
in your family, but again, it could be an excuse
for you to treat yourself to the journal. So maybe

(11:46):
because it's the new year and people are, you know,
like in the last thing, trying to create new habits.
But I have received several emails lately asking how I
quit snoozing, so I thought we could refresh some tips
for people now the fact that I quit snoozing a
couple of years ago. It comes up naturally in conversation
at times, but I don't always elaborate and share tips,

(12:08):
so I gathered some to share that might be helpful
if you are trying to stop snoozing in one so
tip number one would be don't expect to stop cold turkey.
I advise you to start a little at a time,
And it really depends on how dependent you are with
the snoozing. I was a chronic snoozer, and I would

(12:29):
go to bed setting my alarm earlier than I needed
to go up so I could allow myself to snooze,
sometimes even three times, which is so crazy thinking back
on that, because I could have just slept that extra
to thirty minutes instead of pressing snooze. But I really
thought my body loved pressing snooze. Second tip is to

(12:51):
buy an old fashioned alarm clock that you have to
like walk across the room to turn off. Or if
you want your phone to be across the room, you
could plug it in way across and then you have
to get up. But some people like to have their
phone by them at times in case of emergency, so
that's where an old fashioned alarm clock will come in handy.
They even sell some crazy alarm clocks that will, you know,

(13:13):
break apart into a puzzle when it goes off, in
order to stop the beeping, you have to put the
puzzle back together, and then your lights are on. Your
already ups you might as well get up again. It
depends on how extreme your problem with snoozing is. Third
tip would be to remove the bed covers when the
alarm goes off. Just throw them off of you and

(13:34):
then boom, pop up, which makes me think of this
next tip, which is what I'll call the Mel Robbins
tip to one. She is someone I love following on Instagram.
If you're not following her, you need to. She's at
Mel Robbins and she has this five second rule. Talked
about it here on the podcast before, but pretty much,
anytime you have to do something you're just not really

(13:55):
feeling it at all, you just five four three to
one and do it. BILM. So maybe when your alarm
goes off five four three to one, get out of bed.
And then the next tip is gradually reduce the number
of alarms you set over time, which is kind of
back to the first tip of you know, don't expect
to stop cold turkey. You can gradually reduce it. Like
for me, I was setting three alarms that I could

(14:17):
snooze off of. Well, maybe instead of doing three snoozes,
you allow yourself to snooze once or even a couple
of times a week. You give yourself that fix. But
maybe you're a person were cold turkey will work, but
for me it was a gradual thing. And then also
another tip that is really helpful, just whatever kind of

(14:38):
sleeper you are, is to stop sleeping in too long
on the weekends. Try to only sleep in for one
and a half hours or less on the weekend to
still keep a consistent wake schedule and ultimately get better
sleep quality overall. You could also get an accountability partner.
Now a listener called into the Bobby Bones Show back

(14:58):
when I wanted to quit snoozing, and she also wanted
to quit, So Bobby matched her up with me and
made her my accountability partner, and that definitely helped. And
then most importantly, make sure you're getting enough sleep. Make
sleep a priority, and even make a sleep schedule so
that you go to bed on time and your body
gets that adequate rest that it needs, because honestly, if

(15:22):
you're tired, you're not going to be feeling too great,
and then you're not going to be motivated to really
get up. But if you get on more of a schedule,
it will help with the snoozing because you'll be like, uh,
I got enough sleep. I feel refreshed. Five four, three
to one. Here we go. I'm gonna face the day.

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