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April 13, 2021 16 mins

This is Amy’s ‘5th Thing’ (a bonus episode). ‘4 Things With Amy Brown’ comes out every Thursday, but on Tuesdays Amy shares emails from you guys and answers questions y’all have sent in. On today’s episode Amy addresses: tips and tricks if you might be a little ‘controlling’, what kind of blue light glasses Amy uses, what wine subscription she has, what razor she uses for her face, and a book recommendation if you are going through the adoption process!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, so Q and a day, and now we officially
begin every Tuesday Fifth Thing episode with a quote. Chase
is also here with me tonight and recording this on
Monday night. This goes up well at midnight. So the
quote is actually from Mr Rogers and it says, to

(00:22):
love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly
the way he or she is right here and now,
and when and when Chase and I were talking about
this and like, yeah, I mean, because you've been dealing
with me recording this, Like at first you're gonna meet
probably an hour and forty minutes ago, and then it

(00:42):
shifted to like then an hour after that, and then
I called you and I'm like, I'm stuck at the store.
I'm trying to find stuff Shira the specific kind of marker.
And then while I was at the checkoutline, they had
the Reese's Easter eggs at the store, and I thought,
you know what new to me. I'm like, normally I'd

(01:02):
be like, oh, I can't have that, but now I'm like, actually,
if I want that, I can. So I bought it
and we just shared it and it's so good. There's
something about the rees Is egg the Christmas Tree, the egg.
All of the shapes are different than the regular Reese's cups.
I have a theory what is it. I think that

(01:24):
it's how they drizzle the chocolate on like versus the
cups have the ridges. Yeah, it's thicker, Well it's thicker,
but it's also like a smoother bite in. Yeah, something
about it. There's more of the filling. It's so good.
So we just enjoyed that right before we hopped on here.
And the back to the quote is I've just been

(01:44):
all of place today trying to find ways to get
it all done. And you know, sometimes people that work
with me, like Chase at times, have to they have
to love me for who why I am? We do we? Yeah?
So the goal today is to still have the Q

(02:05):
and A under fifteen minutes. Then we better get going
do it all right? This first one is from Brittany
hey Amy, confession time. I'm a bit of a control freak. Actually,
I'm a lot of a control freak. I don't want
to be this way, and I always catch myself when
it's just a little too late. Do you have any
tips for helping me let go of control? So I'm
actually kind of a little bit. I'm not a control

(02:27):
freak in certainties in my life, but at home I am.
Do you think I'm a control freak? I want to
hear that, But what do you think about me? Knowing
me from the outside? Um, I think in certain moments,
there are moments when your hands are up and yeah,
there's some stuff I'm yeah, I want to be in
control of. And this depends our stuff. I do not

(02:47):
care like that's not a consistent control. It just really
depends I. But I do want things done a certain
way at times, and especially around the house, and I you'll, like,
you know, I should just maybe do it, or if
my husband's doing it, he's doing it all wrong, and
I just need to do it because this is how

(03:07):
it needs to get done and I can get particular.
So I actually googled three tips for letting go of
control and this came from the blissful mind dot com.
And the first thing out of the three was to
make a list of things you can control that way
you know, you know the difference like this is an
exercise to help you realize what you do have power

(03:28):
over in your life. For example, healthwise, you can maybe
try to incorporate more fruits and veggies, drink more water,
get more sleep, Choose when you work out or if
you don't work out, And then you break it down
into smaller actions and choices that you actually do have,
and that takes the stress off, Like look at all
these choices you have and you've made, Like, look at
all this control. Then number two is break your reaction pattern.

(03:53):
So when we're feeling like we don't have control over something,
we're likely to experience anxiety, swings and frustration. See for me,
I can't tell right now with all my hormones and
stuff that I have going on with me, if I'm
just hormonal or um, it's just life. You haven't seen

(04:15):
my frustration in my mood swings like when I want
to throw milk across the kitchen. I haven't seen that,
but I've seen it. I've seen a few things, So anyway,
or mine is definitely not from lack of control, but
some people, if you're struggling with that, you could experience that.
And all of this comes from the thoughts we have

(04:35):
about the situation that we're in. So you've got to
be aware of the trigger. Breathe when you start to
feel your body get tense, practice self compassion when your
thoughts begin to turn negative, UM, recognize that your thoughts
and feelings are nothing more than thoughts and feelings. Avoid
over identifying with your thoughts. And then the third thing

(04:57):
they recommend is write down a recigh affirmation, which on
Thursday's episode, I'm super excited. I have my friend Ali
coming on and she's gonna we do a whole thing
on affirmations. She's really into them. Um. Our first thing
that we talk about is writing for therapy and how
it can be really therapeutic for you. And then she
does the second thing with me on affirmations. So Thursday

(05:19):
is going to be a good episode. I hope you'll
download and listen to that. But, um, if you want
to write, here's some affirmations that help with control freaks.
I am in control of my own life. I go
with the flow and accept what comes my way. I
focus my energy on what is most beneficial for me.

(05:40):
I am safe and secure in myself. So there's are
four different affirmations. You can choose which one to write down,
but I personally like I am safe and secure in myself.
I feel like that it could apply to a lot
of us. That we've got something going on. Just knowing
that you're safe, you are secure in yourself. I go

(06:01):
with the flow and except what comes my way. That's
my problem at home. Sometimes I'm not very good with
the flow. I try to act like, come go with
the flow. And Ben's like, you're not being very good
with the flow. You're kind of in and out of it.
Some days you are, which is funny because I have
to go with the flow with my own self. But
I'm just it really is about home stuff. It's really
not about You're just one of the kind like work stuff.

(06:24):
I'm way more just laid back, like we'll figure it out,
we'll get it done. It's a matter of what you're
tuning into and what you're not tuning into. There you go,
like Ben and I can have a full blown conversation
about you right in front of you and it might
not even registered. It's fine, y'all can totally talk about me.
I'll never know. Okay. Next question is from Yeah, Abby
wants to know just real quickly, what kind of blue

(06:46):
light blocking glasses do you have? You mentioned him recently
on the podcast, so did you just give her the
nickname Abbie? What does this say, and I feel like
I know, I know the questions, like email them to
you so I know. They're Abigail from our friend Abby,
also known as the particular blue light blocking glasses I have.
They're clear the in the what is this called the

(07:10):
frames clear? And they're Warby Parker and I love them.
But we have a Warby Parker store here in Nashville.
Are those pretty much everywhere? But the whole thing behind
Warby Parker is you order online and they mail them
to you, so no matter where you live, you should
be able to get them. But why did you make
that face when I said they were Warby Parker. I
just feel like that's something I here a lot of. Yeah,

(07:32):
but I know that Amazon has some that are way cheaper.
I got mine on Amazon for tim Bucks and their
clear frame great or you could do that, sorry I did.
I guess Warry Parker is a little bit fancy, but
but they're nice and I really like them, and if
you get in I would encourage if you try a
pair and you're actually using them frequently, like invest in

(07:53):
a nicer pair. Yeah, so maybe you order the Amazon
ones first. I'll maybe I'll try to find one that
I know is good or your link and I'll put
that on my Amazon page, which is Radio Amy dot
com to access that next question. Okay, the next one

(08:19):
is from Nikita, not to be confused with Nikki Nikita.
We'll just give it everybody. Nick Hey, Amy, I'm working
on living a healthier lifestyle. A few months ago on
the Bobby Bones Show, I remember you talking about a
wine that you like. It has less sugars and soul
fates in it. Can you tell me the name? So
for a long time I was using dry farm wines,

(08:40):
which are like this, and they're great. But I a
few months ago switched to Scout and Seller, and I
gotta say I'm so happy with Like sometimes with dry
Farm I was, I'm a member of the wine club,
so I get six bottles a month, and I end
up giving a lot away or saving them as gifts
because we don't go through six bottles in a month.

(09:01):
There was a time maybe I did, but not anymore.
None anymore. I'm doing good. I'm safe and secure in
my life. Um So I switched to Scout and Seller.
Oh so, back to the dry farm webs. There was
some that I just didn't really I never knew what

(09:21):
I was going to get if I opened it up,
but Scout and I would just be like, I can't
drink this. But Scout and Seller, I've liked every single
bottle and it's really good. And we had it in
our gift guide. If you're looking for that link, if
you just um it's a gift guide still at radiomy
dot com, or if you just google Amy and Mary's

(09:41):
gift Guide Christmas, it will come up on the shop
forwards page and in the gift guide there's a link
to the Scout and Seller. And I'm a fan, Like
I'm not associated, I don't. I mean, I don't get
paid to say that it's it's so good. I also
don't get paid to say work we park or either
nothing I mentioned on here am I getting paid to say?

(10:03):
Just so that you can vouch? Al Right? This next
one is from Kayla. Hey, Amy, I know you have
expressed how Bend dislikes you shaving your face, but has
you ever mentioned if your upper lip area feels prickly
when he kisses you. I've been wanting to do it,
but I'm going to have to do it secretly and
wanted to make sure my husband wouldn't notice. Oh I

(10:23):
don't know. It's no, it doesn't grow back any thicker
or prickly or anything. If you already have a prickly
upper lip, then that's how it's going to be. But
it's not just because you shave. It is not going
to grow back thicker. That is a myth. And you
should be fine, and yeah, get rid of the peach fuzz,
go for it. Tinkle razor all the way, speaking real quickly,

(10:46):
if tinkle razor, sure, he wants to know she's flying
in a few weeks and was wondering if you can
take the tinkle razor in your carry on. I have
many times, like every time, I rarely check a bag
anymore when I travel, and I always have a tinkle
razor in my um little doc kit thingy. So yeah,

(11:07):
I don't want to say you should be good to go,
but gosh, I'm telling you that, but worst cases, they're
going to have you throw it out, and like, it's
not the end of the world, but I think you'll
be fine. One time I was Bobby and I were
flying somewhere and we were in the t s A
line and I my hairdresser gave me a switch blade.
I don't know why. I think I had mentioned that

(11:28):
I wanted one, and she got me a real one
and it was so nice and thoughtful. But I had
it with me in my purse and I forgot about it,
and I thought I didn't want to get taken up.
So then I went at the airport and I they'll
hold it for you. You You can either mail it back
to yourself, or there's a desk at least at the
Nashville Airport where they will hold it for you until

(11:49):
you return. So I had to pay for them to
put it in a locker for me in some office,
and then when I returned, I went and got my
switch blade black back. That neither but the bonus bonus
tip also if you're into the Tinkle Raisers available at
radio amy dot com. Very true and also not affiliated
with Tinkle. Yeah, all right. This last one is from April.

(12:13):
Hey girl, my husband and I are starting the adoption
process locally here in Little Rock through foster care. And
I remember you mentioning on a podcast about a book
that you really liked when going through the adoption process.
Do you have any other book recommendations? I really appreciate it.
The book was called adopted for life, and yeah, I

(12:34):
mean my husband was not really feel an adoption at
all and that was a struggle. And not that he
didn't think we wouldn't adopt one day, but his first
choice for us would be to get pregnant. And which
by the way, I was at the pharmacy at the store,

(12:54):
like I was having to buy the marker. Oh when
I was getting the I was over checking out something
at the pharmacy and listen, how weird this is? Because
I was like, if how awkward they now had, well,
at least at this grocery store, they had pregnancy tests
and tampons. I'm not tampons, condoms. Pregnancy tests and condoms

(13:15):
right by the pharmacy, like where the the prescription drop
off and pick up, where you consult, where the line
is right, it's right there, and they have them in cases.
So maybe this particular store has an issue with theft
of those items, so yes, they need to lock them up.
But it was like, could you put them in a
more because I was over there looking for something else

(13:37):
and I felt this like guy there looking at them,
and I thought, that's awkward, that's awkward. This guy is
like in front of everybody looking at I don't know
if he was buying a pregnancy does or condoms, but
I felt awkward for him, and I wanted to tell
the store, why are you doing this to people? I
would have felt awkward if I had to buy something

(13:57):
right there, I wouldn't have I would have just left.
I would have waited till there was no line, which
could have been line was six people deep, so I
had to wander around the store and everywhere. Okay, well,
because they're locked up because they tests Back back in
the day when I was trying to get pregnant, I
was taking pregnancy tests like every other day. They were
not locked up. I can't speak to that piece of it,

(14:20):
but it's like it's a common like theft item. Well,
I agree, but I never have me personally in time
I bought anything like that. It has not been locked up.
And I was really Amazon right, Amazon Prime. Um, Amazon's
not paying us to say that. But anyway, when my
husband always thought we would have the baby viola like ourselves,

(14:45):
like I would get pregnant, and I never got pregnant,
and so he wasn't. We were still thought we might
get pregnant, so he wasn't really open to adoption when
we were having to make the choice of adopting or
maybe doing IVF, like where did we want to spend
our money? And I was my heart was saying adoption
and his was saying I v F. And then he

(15:06):
read Adopted for Life, which is by Russell Moore, and
it's a great book and I highly committed. Like chapter one,
he was like, okay, I mean, I mean it moved him.
He was moved him to tears and he was like, okay,
and you finished the book and he said, we can
do this. Adoption is for us and now we have
two beautiful Haitian kids. And it's fifteen minutes in fifteen seconds.

(15:28):
And that was the last question. Man, that's look at
you my pregnancy test condom lock up story. Poor guy.
I'm going to tell the grocery store it's fine if
you need a lock them in cases. It was not
behind a glass case. They were individual cases. And then
you you know what I mean. So I was like,
you could put those anywhere in the store, but they

(15:48):
can walk out and they can't steal them. I mean,
why put it right by the line where people have
to everyone? Yeah, anyway, okay, I hope everyone has a
great Tuesday. Don't forget our Mr Rogers out love them,
love others, love yourself, make sure people love you just
the way you are, unless, of course, you need to
be kinder than be kind.

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