November 9, 2021 • 18 mins
Welcome to the '5th Thing' with Amy & Kat!!! Do you set any boundaries for yourself when it comes to social media? If not, it’s definitely something we all should consider doing...especially if we’re spending too much time on social media, worried about what other people are thinking about us, or thinking everyone else has a better life than us! Kat also shared why she unfollowed everyone for 30 days.
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Please send emails for the 5th thing to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth thing, the Amy and
Cat Chat. We are going to be talking about cats,
social media experiment a little bit today, and boundaries for
social media. But we always start Tuesday episodes off of
the quote. In two days, Cat will be sharing what's
your quote? So our quote actually comes straight from Amy
(00:26):
literally two minutes ago and we were about to We're
looking for a quote for the show, and Amy said,
hold on, I have to pee, And I said, will
you go pee and I'll find and I'll search for quote.
She goes, well, I can't stand up yet or yeah,
So the quote is I can't stand up yet or
I'll pe, And I feel like that is uh yeah,
(00:49):
that's a relatable quote for people like if you two
can't stand up sometimes when you really have to pee
because you will be your pants. You are not alone,
And I want you to know that you're not alone,
because it's real. It's getting worse. And I haven't even
birth children. Like my sister, she'll you know, she has
the whole jump on a trampoline and pee and just
walking peeing. She's had four kids, So I get it.
(01:13):
I don't even have it as bad as some people,
for sure, but I it is getting worse with age
and now. But I can just sit for a second
and it'll I just breathe and then I can somehow
it gives I have enough time to get to the bathroom.
Sometimes I don't make it, to be quite honest, and
then I just have to change talking about that on
social media. So I think that the reason that's important
(01:36):
is we're not seeing that stuff and that's a very
normal part of life for a lot of people, right which,
why don't I don't mind putting that sort of thing
out there. Obviously I'm talking about it here, so why
don't I put it on social I don't know. My
question back to you was like, why is that? Why
would that be necessary to put it on my pants
and post say I pee my pants? But I could
just say, do a video of like while I'm sitting here,
(01:58):
like Hi, I'm sitting here right now and can't move
because if I move, I'm going to pee my pants.
But I don't know. Instead, we want to be like, oh,
look at my cute cat. My Instagram by the way,
now is a cat account. Oh, which, speaking of, I'm
Radio Amy on Instagram, but I started an account for
our cat she's Maggie Brown the cat. Maggie Brown the
(02:20):
cat because Maggie Cat was it is Magnolia Moon was
taken to so I was like, I didn't want to
have Magnolia Moon the cat. That'd be really long. So
Maggie Brown the Cat. You can follow her. She posts
a lot of things. It's just me posting for her,
but I feel I've never run an animal account before,
and it's interesting because she's on our four Things puzzle.
(02:41):
But we released and one day I was like posting
and she's like, but it's me, but I'm talking as
the cat and she's like, I'm on a puzzle. The
puzzle I'm on is finally out, and I was like,
I have reached a NILO. And Radiant Sugar is a
cookie company here in Nashville that made these cook He's
for our puzzle launch Radiant Sugar by Emily, and the
(03:03):
cookies looked so good and they were supposed to be
for promo, but I couldn't help but eat one. So
I ate one of the cookies that look like Maggie
from the puzzle, and I ate her ears off. And
so then Maggie in quotes posted it and she was like,
here's me on a cookie with no ears. So that
is the kind of content you will see over there,
(03:24):
which was the content that I need. But I'm not
getting that content because because Cat's not on social media,
which is the whole point of this conversation. Why did
you take a month off of well following people you
are on social media? I guess to clear a fairly
weird experiment. Okay, talk about the in So I feel
like most people just will take like breaks from social
media and that's fine, that's wonderful. I've done that before. Yeah,
(03:45):
I do that on the weekends or whatever. I think
that's great. I was having a conversation with um this
woman named the Bis and she was on my podcast
probably like a month ago. It was an episode called
Reclaiming Your Power over the Internet, and we were talking
about social media and how it takes away our agency
and power and how it changes the way we think.
(04:06):
And I asked her, like, what's our solution and she
was like, well, I really also like social media and
social media offers us a lot. And I was like, yeah,
you're right, I like it too, And so she said
we have to realize, like what is what was it created?
For and how do we come back to that and
how do we make social media work for us, because
right now it's like we're working for Instagram. For me,
it felt like I was like a slave to Instagram,
(04:28):
and a lot of times I didn't feel good, like
if I really sat down, I wasn't feeling good. And
then I had this like insane hunger and need to
feed this like animal I created around like I need
to have more people see this, or I need to
have more responses, or I feel like I need more likes.
And I'm not somebody who generally would categorize myself as
somebody who attaches themselves to social media that much, but
(04:49):
I was finding myself more and more in it. So
I was like, Okay, I don't want to get rid
of social media. I need to figure some things out.
And so I came up with this experiment that she
had told me somebody else had done, is unfollow everybody,
which Instagram makes it very hard to unfollow. You can
only unfollow like two people an hour or every two hours.
(05:09):
I guess you can only do so many actions because
then like I couldn't use my account for anything either,
because they don't want you on following. They want you
to spend more time on the app. Probably they've been
in the news like the last month or so. Anyway,
with all the craziness and Facebook and Instagram, if you
haven't kept up with that makes me think about when
I started Maggie Brown the Cat's Instagram. I started getting
notifications of people following her because on Radio Amy, I
(05:32):
was like, follow the cat, which is me also, but
I couldn't figure out. Instagram made it so hard for
me to freaking turn off the notifications because they want
you to get the notification because they want to be like,
oh oh. But I was getting very frustrated. Thankfully, a
lot of people were going to follow what what? I
(05:53):
don't even care what I say, thankfully, but what is this?
But it's okay, okay, care care about a cute cat account? Whatever.
But when I realized my personal was turning into a
cat account, and I was like, I need another place
for this cat content to live. So and people were
loving seeing Maggie. But I'm glad you said that, because
Instagram does make it incredibly hard to detach it's and
it's built that way for a reason. Scientifically, we get
(06:16):
addicted because of the way they built it, and that's
the thing that there are in hot water over is
they've known how damaging some of this stuff could be
and they didn't want to alter how they do things
because it's good for business. So yeah, that's my side.
Note is I can I still can't figure out how
to fully turn off the notifications. I don't even know
to help you. Thank you, I need help. Thanks, go ahead,
(06:36):
carry on. So but here's the thing that you're talking
about is Instagram is they're smart people, the people that
are in charge of it now where it is creating
this brain pattern for you. Like when you get certain
things on Instagram, you get a shot of dopamine inside
of your brains oude of your body that feels good,
and you're creating a pattern and you're going to want that,
just like a drug where you start doing a drug
(06:58):
and it feels good and then you're like, oh, I
want that more, I want that more, I want that more.
That's why I felt like I was turning into this
person who was like so addicted to Instagram. But it's
like I don't actually really care about all this stuff.
I like it, but this is not this doesn't feel
like me. But you would kind of trained your brain
to like. And there's reasons I like Instagram, but the
reasons that I was liking it didn't feel authentic to me.
(07:19):
So I did this thing where with The funny thing
is the day that I was on following everybody, um,
the next day was the day that Instagram and what's
happened Facebook like crashed but I thought it was me.
I was like, Oh, really, they're going to shut down
my account because I'm un following people. I was so annoying.
Then I was like, oh, it's everybody, everybody in the world,
(07:41):
So that was nice. But so eventually after hours and
really took like two days to unfollow everybody. But I
still have my account, people still are following me, and
I'm still posting. But what I wanted to see is
what changes with how I show up on Instagram and
also how I show up in my life It with
me and in my life with my people. When i
(08:03):
am not constantly being fed other people's stuff, when I'm
not constantly seeing what everybody else is doing, when I'm
not constantly reading quotes, are constantly reading like information or whatever,
it is, like, what shifts in me? And how do
I show up more authentically or whatever happens when I'm
(08:25):
not seeing that all the time. So I did this
for a month and I have learned so much about Instagram,
about myself, about my friends, about just my life in
(08:48):
the world. And I did a whole episode kind of
talking about it, recapping and sharing my thoughts that went
out yesterday. So you guys can go listen to that
whole thing. And that's up on You Need Therapy Therapy podcasts. Yes, okay,
And so that's the recap. But what was the original episode?
Again that the original episode, which was one of my
favorite conversations I've ever had on You Need Therapy, was
(09:09):
reclaiming power over the Internet. And that episode is with
a woman. Her name is Nebs and she is the
founder of an investigative journalism company called The Markup and
you can follow them on Instagram to it. They're very cool.
They like tell you the things that people don't want
you to know. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go check her out.
I saw that there was this social media challenge where
(09:30):
I guess this company was asking people to detox from
social media for twenty five days for two thousand, five
hundred dollars Now this was back in the month of October,
so it's not still an option, but they were giving
people money to track what it was like for them
to detox for those twenty five days, and so the
social media detox requirements were to spend five days tracking
(09:55):
your mood while using social media as normal, like as
you would, and in for twenty five days, delete social
media apps from your phone and tablet altogether, and then
during those twenty five days, set goals and work on
them regularly. Also track your mood on the app that
they were going to give to the people in it.
And at the end of the month, people were supposed
(10:16):
to share how the detox affected them in a short
little ride up or video, which I mean, I'm sure
people ended up, you know, tracking all kinds of different
things about their mood and their feelings. Like I'm sure
in those first couple of days of completely deleting social media,
if your app, you might have a lot of like
weird feelings about it, and you may even then start
(10:37):
to realize how many times you were reaching for your
phone every day to click it and check it and
click it and check it. And I hope that this
place is all home Connections. That's a company that did it.
I hope that they published their fine ones from these
people that participated and they release maybe what happened in
those twenty five days for people because I'm curious. I personally,
(10:59):
because of my job, I don't know that I would
disconnect for twenty five days or deleted. I mean, I
guess I could, quite honestly I could, but yeah, I'd
be curious to see what it does to my mood
and my mental health. Well, you don't have to, because
I think that's of such a valid point that like
a lot of people use Instagram for work, like whether
it's marketing or their business is their Instagram. Like I
(11:21):
use it for work as well, And so I think
there's power and like you don't have to give this
thing up, but if we can remind ourselves that we
get to be in charge of how we use it,
I think there's so much power in that. When you
were talking about that, add this thought of like, yeah,
you get this feeling like if I'm going to like die,
like suffocate, like something bad is going to happen if
I can't have this thing. And I think that that's
(11:43):
what I don't like about it. Is that we think
that we like are tethered to it in a way
that it gives us life. But it's not giving us life.
It's supposed to enhance. No. I mean, I think back
to my days in two thousand and six. I was
doing just fine, yeah, and I had no we didn't
have it. I had no social It's we didn't have
the Twitter, we didn't have the Instagram, we didn't have
the TikTok or the snapchat. Which I think that all
(12:04):
those things are great. I don't think they're bad, but
I look at how much time I spend trying to
focus on those, and you're right. With work, it has
become an avenue to like do things and share things.
I mean shoot for Mary and I for anything we
do for four Things or a spuaw, the puzzle, the
four Things tot. It's like it's the four Things podcast.
We have a whole line of four things things that
(12:25):
I'm fine, It's fine, everything is fine. We sell everything
for a squaw, which spa means hope in Nation Creole
and supports different organizations in Haiti basically through Instagram. Like
we don't, I don't talk about it on The Bobby
Bones Show, I talk about it here on the podcast
from time to time. We do majority of our sales
on Instagram by posting a link showing people, so I
(12:46):
mean for me too, Like that's a huge audience. If
I don't do that, there I miss out on. But
I do feel a certain level of anxiety because I
see other people curating content for their stuff and that's
just not how my brain works. And then I'm like,
I'm failing at this. Why I need to up my
social media game. But then I'm like, no, I don't
(13:06):
know that I want to up my social media game.
Why am I putting that pressure on myself? Yeah, I'm
I need to figure out ways to mean. Miss Squaw
is a business now and I am a business partner,
And there's a warehouse full of people. Mary's at the
shop forward in California at the office, but like she's
paying people, Like there's people's jobs that rely on this.
There's organizations in Haiti that we get text messages from
(13:28):
that are like, hey, this is a need we have,
can y'all help support it? And it's like we want
to be able to say yes to that. So there's
a lot of reasons why we want it to be successful,
but without Instagram, we wouldn't have customers and that wild Well,
that's what I'm saying is, yeah, it is a great tool.
It has helped so much, it has helped your But
(13:49):
then it's like, I I need to take that pressure
off myself with like trying to like be this Instagram
person that I'm not, just because I want to have
more reach more people with the stuff we're creating, which
I think is cool. I'm biased. If you don't think
it's cool, it's fine, it's not for you. You You don't
have to get it. But if you're looking for something
to get for yourself or a gift for somebody, then
I think it's something that is worth checking out because
(14:10):
it's a gift that gifts back and it's a win win.
But yeah, it's just I mean, it's been a struggle
bus where I've even thought about maybe bringing someone on
my team, especially because I mean I'm on the Bobby
Bones Show and the podcast. Like, yes, I can't do
all things by myself. Some people, I'm comparing myself to
someone who literally their full time job is their Instagram
and that's just not the case for me. That's not
(14:30):
my full time job. So I can't compare myself to that.
But I've thought about do I need to bring on
a social media person, But then I wanted to be
authentic to me. But then I don't want this pressure
of trying to build my Instagram. That's just not I
don't care about that. That's not me. You know, Mary
and I are going back to the drawing board and
being like, Okay, if we want to increase exposure and
increased sales, let's look at another way. It doesn't have
(14:53):
to be that it has to be solely on just
us putting it on our Instagram. Maybe there's other people
that want to promote it, and maybe we have to
start paying for that. You know, it's hard because we
had not operated that way. This is just a reminder
too that just because it's not how you've always done
it doesn't mean you can't grow and rethink and restructure
how you're doing something well. And also add to that,
(15:14):
just because it's not how other people are doing it
doesn't mean that what you're doing is wrong. Because I
will say this is just like feedback to you from
being an outsider is I think what draws people to
you and what you have that is good and I
wouldn't want to change. Is that your social media isn't
like this, like very created beautiful all the time. Everything
(15:36):
is in the same color and everything has the same
filter and looks the same. Like you show up as
a person, which I think draws people to you, which
does draw to your stuff or a cat. Yes, it's
like that's something that I wouldn't want you to sacrifice.
But because we're seeing everybody else's stuff, that's what I'm
I was going through the same thing of like, oh
my page doesn't look like this, and I'm like, in
(15:57):
the world, well, that is the difference between someone following
me and somebody following somebody else, and we all offer
different things and that's okay. So if I'm not looking
at what everyone else is doing, do I still feel
that about the how I'm showing up on there? No?
And I won't tell you the answer because I want
you to listen to the episode. Listen to the episode
(16:18):
so that can be found at you need Therapy podcast,
just search it up wherever you listen to podcasts. The
episode went up yesterday. Thank you keV for talking about
your social media experiment with us and then the boundaries
for social media, because then maybe after you do a
little detox, whatever that looks like for you. It doesn't
have to be twenty five days, it doesn't have to
be on following everybody, but maybe just look at how
your your relationship with social media. Are you in a
(16:42):
healthy place with it or not, and then maybe start
implementing certain boundaries that you might need to for yourself
and for others in your life for that matter. Because
if you've got a family and you're always tethered to
your phone, like that's not going to be good for anybody,
But I feel I relate to that. I empathize if
that's like sometimes how you feel if I'm going on
walks with the family, are doing whatever, Like sometimes I
just leave my phone at home because I don't even
(17:03):
want to be tempted to like pick it up and
check it while we're on a walk, or we're eating dinner,
or we're playing a game or something like that. And
I'll just just want to give a little heads up
that speaking of Mary and a Squaw and four Things
in the Shop Forward and all the stuff that we have.
On this Thursday, we have our Gift Guide episode, which
we do every year because the holidays are upon us,
(17:25):
and shopping has probably already started for a lot of you.
I hope that you know we've heard on the news
maybe that you need to start shopping, and you do.
I would not wait till the last minute this year,
because supply and demand is real. There is been stuff
stuck in the middle of the ocean on containers for
a long time. Covid has made shipping bonkers, so some
stuff that you wanted it just might not be in
(17:46):
stock if you wait too long. And then also if
you don't order in time, you may not receive it
in time shipping wise. So there's a lot of different
variables as to why the news keeps telling you to
shop early. And it's real. We're not just saying that.
I'm not just saying that since I have items that
people can get. But yeah, Gift Guide episode, we don't
just talk about our items either, Mary and I. We
(18:06):
talk about other companies and other things that we really
like that you might want to add to your Christmas
shopping list this year. So that'll be this Thursday's four
Things episode with Mary Gift Guide Alright. Cat de Fata
can be found on Instagram at Cat dot de fata,
but only go over there and follow her if you
feel like that's the best thing for you to do.
(18:29):
It'll be offended right now if I'm not following you back. Yes,
and I am at Radio Amy, but don't follow me
if for whatever reason, you're intimidated about my content by
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth thing, the Amy and
Cat Chat. We are going to be talking about cats,
social media experiment a little bit today, and boundaries for
social media. But we always start Tuesday episodes off of
the quote. In two days, Cat will be sharing what's
your quote? So our quote actually comes straight from Amy
(00:26):
literally two minutes ago and we were about to We're
looking for a quote for the show, and Amy said,
hold on, I have to pee, And I said, will
you go pee and I'll find and I'll search for quote.
She goes, well, I can't stand up yet or yeah,
So the quote is I can't stand up yet or
I'll pe, And I feel like that is uh yeah,
(00:49):
that's a relatable quote for people like if you two
can't stand up sometimes when you really have to pee
because you will be your pants. You are not alone,
And I want you to know that you're not alone,
because it's real. It's getting worse. And I haven't even
birth children. Like my sister, she'll you know, she has
the whole jump on a trampoline and pee and just
walking peeing. She's had four kids, So I get it.
(01:13):
I don't even have it as bad as some people,
for sure, but I it is getting worse with age
and now. But I can just sit for a second
and it'll I just breathe and then I can somehow
it gives I have enough time to get to the bathroom.
Sometimes I don't make it, to be quite honest, and
then I just have to change talking about that on
social media. So I think that the reason that's important
(01:36):
is we're not seeing that stuff and that's a very
normal part of life for a lot of people, right which,
why don't I don't mind putting that sort of thing
out there. Obviously I'm talking about it here, so why
don't I put it on social I don't know. My
question back to you was like, why is that? Why
would that be necessary to put it on my pants
and post say I pee my pants? But I could
just say, do a video of like while I'm sitting here,
(01:58):
like Hi, I'm sitting here right now and can't move
because if I move, I'm going to pee my pants.
But I don't know. Instead, we want to be like, oh,
look at my cute cat. My Instagram by the way,
now is a cat account. Oh, which, speaking of, I'm
Radio Amy on Instagram, but I started an account for
our cat she's Maggie Brown the cat. Maggie Brown the
(02:20):
cat because Maggie Cat was it is Magnolia Moon was
taken to so I was like, I didn't want to
have Magnolia Moon the cat. That'd be really long. So
Maggie Brown the Cat. You can follow her. She posts
a lot of things. It's just me posting for her,
but I feel I've never run an animal account before,
and it's interesting because she's on our four Things puzzle.
(02:41):
But we released and one day I was like posting
and she's like, but it's me, but I'm talking as
the cat and she's like, I'm on a puzzle. The
puzzle I'm on is finally out, and I was like,
I have reached a NILO. And Radiant Sugar is a
cookie company here in Nashville that made these cook He's
for our puzzle launch Radiant Sugar by Emily, and the
(03:03):
cookies looked so good and they were supposed to be
for promo, but I couldn't help but eat one. So
I ate one of the cookies that look like Maggie
from the puzzle, and I ate her ears off. And
so then Maggie in quotes posted it and she was like,
here's me on a cookie with no ears. So that
is the kind of content you will see over there,
(03:24):
which was the content that I need. But I'm not
getting that content because because Cat's not on social media,
which is the whole point of this conversation. Why did
you take a month off of well following people you
are on social media? I guess to clear a fairly
weird experiment. Okay, talk about the in So I feel
like most people just will take like breaks from social
media and that's fine, that's wonderful. I've done that before. Yeah,
(03:45):
I do that on the weekends or whatever. I think
that's great. I was having a conversation with um this
woman named the Bis and she was on my podcast
probably like a month ago. It was an episode called
Reclaiming Your Power over the Internet, and we were talking
about social media and how it takes away our agency
and power and how it changes the way we think.
(04:06):
And I asked her, like, what's our solution and she
was like, well, I really also like social media and
social media offers us a lot. And I was like, yeah,
you're right, I like it too, And so she said
we have to realize, like what is what was it created?
For and how do we come back to that and
how do we make social media work for us, because
right now it's like we're working for Instagram. For me,
it felt like I was like a slave to Instagram,
(04:28):
and a lot of times I didn't feel good, like
if I really sat down, I wasn't feeling good. And
then I had this like insane hunger and need to
feed this like animal I created around like I need
to have more people see this, or I need to
have more responses, or I feel like I need more likes.
And I'm not somebody who generally would categorize myself as
somebody who attaches themselves to social media that much, but
(04:49):
I was finding myself more and more in it. So
I was like, Okay, I don't want to get rid
of social media. I need to figure some things out.
And so I came up with this experiment that she
had told me somebody else had done, is unfollow everybody,
which Instagram makes it very hard to unfollow. You can
only unfollow like two people an hour or every two hours.
(05:09):
I guess you can only do so many actions because
then like I couldn't use my account for anything either,
because they don't want you on following. They want you
to spend more time on the app. Probably they've been
in the news like the last month or so. Anyway,
with all the craziness and Facebook and Instagram, if you
haven't kept up with that makes me think about when
I started Maggie Brown the Cat's Instagram. I started getting
notifications of people following her because on Radio Amy, I
(05:32):
was like, follow the cat, which is me also, but
I couldn't figure out. Instagram made it so hard for
me to freaking turn off the notifications because they want
you to get the notification because they want to be like,
oh oh. But I was getting very frustrated. Thankfully, a
lot of people were going to follow what what? I
(05:53):
don't even care what I say, thankfully, but what is this?
But it's okay, okay, care care about a cute cat account? Whatever.
But when I realized my personal was turning into a
cat account, and I was like, I need another place
for this cat content to live. So and people were
loving seeing Maggie. But I'm glad you said that, because
Instagram does make it incredibly hard to detach it's and
it's built that way for a reason. Scientifically, we get
(06:16):
addicted because of the way they built it, and that's
the thing that there are in hot water over is
they've known how damaging some of this stuff could be
and they didn't want to alter how they do things
because it's good for business. So yeah, that's my side.
Note is I can I still can't figure out how
to fully turn off the notifications. I don't even know
to help you. Thank you, I need help. Thanks, go ahead,
(06:36):
carry on. So but here's the thing that you're talking
about is Instagram is they're smart people, the people that
are in charge of it now where it is creating
this brain pattern for you. Like when you get certain
things on Instagram, you get a shot of dopamine inside
of your brains oude of your body that feels good,
and you're creating a pattern and you're going to want that,
just like a drug where you start doing a drug
(06:58):
and it feels good and then you're like, oh, I
want that more, I want that more, I want that more.
That's why I felt like I was turning into this
person who was like so addicted to Instagram. But it's
like I don't actually really care about all this stuff.
I like it, but this is not this doesn't feel
like me. But you would kind of trained your brain
to like. And there's reasons I like Instagram, but the
reasons that I was liking it didn't feel authentic to me.
(07:19):
So I did this thing where with The funny thing
is the day that I was on following everybody, um,
the next day was the day that Instagram and what's
happened Facebook like crashed but I thought it was me.
I was like, Oh, really, they're going to shut down
my account because I'm un following people. I was so annoying.
Then I was like, oh, it's everybody, everybody in the world,
(07:41):
So that was nice. But so eventually after hours and
really took like two days to unfollow everybody. But I
still have my account, people still are following me, and
I'm still posting. But what I wanted to see is
what changes with how I show up on Instagram and
also how I show up in my life It with
me and in my life with my people. When i
(08:03):
am not constantly being fed other people's stuff, when I'm
not constantly seeing what everybody else is doing, when I'm
not constantly reading quotes, are constantly reading like information or whatever,
it is, like, what shifts in me? And how do
I show up more authentically or whatever happens when I'm
(08:25):
not seeing that all the time. So I did this
for a month and I have learned so much about Instagram,
about myself, about my friends, about just my life in
(08:48):
the world. And I did a whole episode kind of
talking about it, recapping and sharing my thoughts that went
out yesterday. So you guys can go listen to that
whole thing. And that's up on You Need Therapy Therapy podcasts. Yes, okay,
And so that's the recap. But what was the original episode?
Again that the original episode, which was one of my
favorite conversations I've ever had on You Need Therapy, was
(09:09):
reclaiming power over the Internet. And that episode is with
a woman. Her name is Nebs and she is the
founder of an investigative journalism company called The Markup and
you can follow them on Instagram to it. They're very cool.
They like tell you the things that people don't want
you to know. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go check her out.
I saw that there was this social media challenge where
(09:30):
I guess this company was asking people to detox from
social media for twenty five days for two thousand, five
hundred dollars Now this was back in the month of October,
so it's not still an option, but they were giving
people money to track what it was like for them
to detox for those twenty five days, and so the
social media detox requirements were to spend five days tracking
(09:55):
your mood while using social media as normal, like as
you would, and in for twenty five days, delete social
media apps from your phone and tablet altogether, and then
during those twenty five days, set goals and work on
them regularly. Also track your mood on the app that
they were going to give to the people in it.
And at the end of the month, people were supposed
(10:16):
to share how the detox affected them in a short
little ride up or video, which I mean, I'm sure
people ended up, you know, tracking all kinds of different
things about their mood and their feelings. Like I'm sure
in those first couple of days of completely deleting social media,
if your app, you might have a lot of like
weird feelings about it, and you may even then start
(10:37):
to realize how many times you were reaching for your
phone every day to click it and check it and
click it and check it. And I hope that this
place is all home Connections. That's a company that did it.
I hope that they published their fine ones from these
people that participated and they release maybe what happened in
those twenty five days for people because I'm curious. I personally,
(10:59):
because of my job, I don't know that I would
disconnect for twenty five days or deleted. I mean, I
guess I could, quite honestly I could, but yeah, I'd
be curious to see what it does to my mood
and my mental health. Well, you don't have to, because
I think that's of such a valid point that like
a lot of people use Instagram for work, like whether
it's marketing or their business is their Instagram. Like I
(11:21):
use it for work as well, And so I think
there's power and like you don't have to give this
thing up, but if we can remind ourselves that we
get to be in charge of how we use it,
I think there's so much power in that. When you
were talking about that, add this thought of like, yeah,
you get this feeling like if I'm going to like die,
like suffocate, like something bad is going to happen if
I can't have this thing. And I think that that's
(11:43):
what I don't like about it. Is that we think
that we like are tethered to it in a way
that it gives us life. But it's not giving us life.
It's supposed to enhance. No. I mean, I think back
to my days in two thousand and six. I was
doing just fine, yeah, and I had no we didn't
have it. I had no social It's we didn't have
the Twitter, we didn't have the Instagram, we didn't have
the TikTok or the snapchat. Which I think that all
(12:04):
those things are great. I don't think they're bad, but
I look at how much time I spend trying to
focus on those, and you're right. With work, it has
become an avenue to like do things and share things.
I mean shoot for Mary and I for anything we
do for four Things or a spuaw, the puzzle, the
four Things tot. It's like it's the four Things podcast.
We have a whole line of four things things that
(12:25):
I'm fine, It's fine, everything is fine. We sell everything
for a squaw, which spa means hope in Nation Creole
and supports different organizations in Haiti basically through Instagram. Like
we don't, I don't talk about it on The Bobby
Bones Show, I talk about it here on the podcast
from time to time. We do majority of our sales
on Instagram by posting a link showing people, so I
(12:46):
mean for me too, Like that's a huge audience. If
I don't do that, there I miss out on. But
I do feel a certain level of anxiety because I
see other people curating content for their stuff and that's
just not how my brain works. And then I'm like,
I'm failing at this. Why I need to up my
social media game. But then I'm like, no, I don't
(13:06):
know that I want to up my social media game.
Why am I putting that pressure on myself? Yeah, I'm
I need to figure out ways to mean. Miss Squaw
is a business now and I am a business partner,
And there's a warehouse full of people. Mary's at the
shop forward in California at the office, but like she's
paying people, Like there's people's jobs that rely on this.
There's organizations in Haiti that we get text messages from
(13:28):
that are like, hey, this is a need we have,
can y'all help support it? And it's like we want
to be able to say yes to that. So there's
a lot of reasons why we want it to be successful,
but without Instagram, we wouldn't have customers and that wild Well,
that's what I'm saying is, yeah, it is a great tool.
It has helped so much, it has helped your But
(13:49):
then it's like, I I need to take that pressure
off myself with like trying to like be this Instagram
person that I'm not, just because I want to have
more reach more people with the stuff we're creating, which
I think is cool. I'm biased. If you don't think
it's cool, it's fine, it's not for you. You You don't
have to get it. But if you're looking for something
to get for yourself or a gift for somebody, then
I think it's something that is worth checking out because
(14:10):
it's a gift that gifts back and it's a win win.
But yeah, it's just I mean, it's been a struggle
bus where I've even thought about maybe bringing someone on
my team, especially because I mean I'm on the Bobby
Bones Show and the podcast. Like, yes, I can't do
all things by myself. Some people, I'm comparing myself to
someone who literally their full time job is their Instagram
and that's just not the case for me. That's not
(14:30):
my full time job. So I can't compare myself to that.
But I've thought about do I need to bring on
a social media person, But then I wanted to be
authentic to me. But then I don't want this pressure
of trying to build my Instagram. That's just not I
don't care about that. That's not me. You know, Mary
and I are going back to the drawing board and
being like, Okay, if we want to increase exposure and
increased sales, let's look at another way. It doesn't have
(14:53):
to be that it has to be solely on just
us putting it on our Instagram. Maybe there's other people
that want to promote it, and maybe we have to
start paying for that. You know, it's hard because we
had not operated that way. This is just a reminder
too that just because it's not how you've always done
it doesn't mean you can't grow and rethink and restructure
how you're doing something well. And also add to that,
(15:14):
just because it's not how other people are doing it
doesn't mean that what you're doing is wrong. Because I
will say this is just like feedback to you from
being an outsider is I think what draws people to
you and what you have that is good and I
wouldn't want to change. Is that your social media isn't
like this, like very created beautiful all the time. Everything
(15:36):
is in the same color and everything has the same
filter and looks the same. Like you show up as
a person, which I think draws people to you, which
does draw to your stuff or a cat. Yes, it's
like that's something that I wouldn't want you to sacrifice.
But because we're seeing everybody else's stuff, that's what I'm
I was going through the same thing of like, oh
my page doesn't look like this, and I'm like, in
(15:57):
the world, well, that is the difference between someone following
me and somebody following somebody else, and we all offer
different things and that's okay. So if I'm not looking
at what everyone else is doing, do I still feel
that about the how I'm showing up on there? No?
And I won't tell you the answer because I want
you to listen to the episode. Listen to the episode
(16:18):
so that can be found at you need Therapy podcast,
just search it up wherever you listen to podcasts. The
episode went up yesterday. Thank you keV for talking about
your social media experiment with us and then the boundaries
for social media, because then maybe after you do a
little detox, whatever that looks like for you. It doesn't
have to be twenty five days, it doesn't have to
be on following everybody, but maybe just look at how
your your relationship with social media. Are you in a
(16:42):
healthy place with it or not, and then maybe start
implementing certain boundaries that you might need to for yourself
and for others in your life for that matter. Because
if you've got a family and you're always tethered to
your phone, like that's not going to be good for anybody,
But I feel I relate to that. I empathize if
that's like sometimes how you feel if I'm going on
walks with the family, are doing whatever, Like sometimes I
just leave my phone at home because I don't even
(17:03):
want to be tempted to like pick it up and
check it while we're on a walk, or we're eating dinner,
or we're playing a game or something like that. And
I'll just just want to give a little heads up
that speaking of Mary and a Squaw and four Things
in the Shop Forward and all the stuff that we have.
On this Thursday, we have our Gift Guide episode, which
we do every year because the holidays are upon us,
(17:25):
and shopping has probably already started for a lot of you.
I hope that you know we've heard on the news
maybe that you need to start shopping, and you do.
I would not wait till the last minute this year,
because supply and demand is real. There is been stuff
stuck in the middle of the ocean on containers for
a long time. Covid has made shipping bonkers, so some
stuff that you wanted it just might not be in
(17:46):
stock if you wait too long. And then also if
you don't order in time, you may not receive it
in time shipping wise. So there's a lot of different
variables as to why the news keeps telling you to
shop early. And it's real. We're not just saying that.
I'm not just saying that since I have items that
people can get. But yeah, Gift Guide episode, we don't
just talk about our items either, Mary and I. We
(18:06):
talk about other companies and other things that we really
like that you might want to add to your Christmas
shopping list this year. So that'll be this Thursday's four
Things episode with Mary Gift Guide Alright. Cat de Fata
can be found on Instagram at Cat dot de fata,
but only go over there and follow her if you
feel like that's the best thing for you to do.
(18:29):
It'll be offended right now if I'm not following you back. Yes,
and I am at Radio Amy, but don't follow me
if for whatever reason, you're intimidated about my content by
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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