Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, you've got to be at work tomorrow. If you
hit the mega millions.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Tonight, the words both hell and no come to mind.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Are you going to hook up?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Zech? If you hit yes, I will, Are you gonna
hook me up? You will be taken care of? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You absolutely, And I wasn't waiting on you to say
yes first. I absolutely. That's always in my plans. The
people that are in my life currently.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Even people that I don't like that are close to me,
I will make sure are provided for that kind of money.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Can I ask who that is?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Oh? Friends, family, you know, just people who've ticked me
off over the years, whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
But they're still around.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
They are still around, and for one reason or another,
I owe them some sort of dedication in for what
they have been or what they have done. And yeah,
I think I would do a lot of it. Sounds crazy,
but man, I'd spend so much of my money doing
good stuff that I wouldn't have time to spoil myself
for a while. I just I feel like if you're
(00:53):
blessed with that kind of thing, you got to do
something with it.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
You got to get straight away start blessing people with it.
Yes or something, God forbid, something horrible happened.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I don't mind, just go to the gas pup and
wait for an excuse me, sir in Hannema thousand dollars.
I mean, you know, the help organizations that help people
and help people that help people do stuff like that.
I think that's important effect change. Yeah. Yes, And if
you're what's the cash value on this thing tonight, like
three hundred million or.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
So seven hundred and forty million, eighth largest in the
game's history. Yeah, and then you know, what do they say,
I'll I'm you know, they start giving you, you know,
the smaller price, you know, kind of a thing. I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I think the cash value is usually about a third
of whatever the jackpot is, okay, and then whatever you
get is like a third less on that because the
government's got to take their thirty five.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
So you get twelve dollars after all, after all.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Of a sudden done and a coupon for a free cony,
which is always nice if it's a good cony place.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, this would be a merry freaking Christmas, wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yes, it would have you.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Uh have you got this? I love how in this article.
I'm like, well, this is a negative I shouldn't have
printed this one because I started reading and they were like,
don't expect to take home the jackpot, I mean odds
of winning. In other words, they're just poopooing your you know,
you're reading it and they're telling you, yeah, don't think
you're gonna win. Come on, stop it with that.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, people who say, yeah, a lotteries just legalized stealing
is all it is. I mean, your your chances are
winning that. Look, it's a game of why they call chance,
The numbers are going to come up there either going
to be the numbers you picked or not. That's the
chance of it. That's why it's called gambling and not investing.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right is that Cliff from Cheers? What you kind of
just did?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Right?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Okay to yeah Cliff Cleving was a little further down though. Yeah.
Junian Ratchenberger was his name. Oh okay, yeah, postman.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, question, that's who I got it wrong.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That he did how it's made If you ever watched that.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yes, he was on the air with me.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Actually, he actually is not that far from Homer Shimshin,
which is funny because I can slip into home pretty
quickly from John Ritch's pretty good man, you know I
play with my silliness all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, the odds of winning are three hundred two million,
five hundred and seventy five, three hundred and fifty.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
A right to one, same odds as me wearing a
speedo this spring that works.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
So there's a chance.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
There's a chance.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Zach attack. What would that be like?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
M suck the flatbat, take out the back here, I'm
rent to roll. Let's go to the beach boys, Rhett
rent to row, ret to roll. It's better than Fitna. True,
I'm Finna Hessen dinner. That's where people love the bonics.
When you say Finna, even the your bonics, people look
at you go, oh, that's messed up, Finna. Who came
(03:46):
up with that?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I'm fitting to have a Yeah. I might have even
enunciated too much there, even.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
When I said, oh, anyway, lottery prize. Yeah, you made
me rich, right, you take care of me? Absolutely? Okay,
that's all I need? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Absolutely? Yeah. I've said this a million times on the air,
but the one of the first things I think that
I would do, and it would be very very near
the top, you know, after taking care of you know,
family and friends and all that, but I would do
I would do start with a shelter for dogs, and
so that's one thing near and you and I both
(04:24):
have an affinity for dogs, so I would I would
do that first and foremost, and you know.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
A real good, well supplied, short shelter that is never
short of bedding or food.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Correct, correct, Yeah, I mean that's one thing that I
would love to be able to do. I think that
would be really cool.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
And I probably do the same type of thing except
for people, and and run it the way that I
believe it should be run, as opposed to the craft
that the government does. But you know, giving somebody a
bed for the night does absolutely nothing rebuilding their life
and helping them to rebuild their life and setting deadlines
on them, here's what we'll do for you, here's how
long you have to do it, and if you don't
do it, we're done. Because there are some people who
(05:02):
choose to live that life, live that way. But for
those that got caught up in something that are you know,
living in a tent or under a tarp or whatever.
If they legitimately want to rebuild themselves, there's really nothing
out there centralized to help them do that. So that's
something i'd want to do.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, somebody who they just fell on some bad times
and then they just need little help up.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Stuff happens and things break, that's the nature of life.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
There's a Columbus funeral home. It's going to be the
first in Ohio to operate with a liquor license.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I don't see this as being necessarily a bad idea.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I absolutely love it.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
You're saying goodbye to somebody you love, why not be
able to raise a glass and tribute? Why not?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
According to the Ohio Liquor Controls website, the permit, if approved,
would be for a D three license. A D three
is in Ohio allows for the sale of beer, wine,
and hard liquor for consumption on site. There's absolutely nothing
wrong with this, and I'm sure there a lot of
people are outrage. That is not the time of the Well,
then don't partake. It's just there for people who would
(06:06):
like to. It doesn't have to be part of what
you have to do. When you use said establishment and.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Go out to the car while they're you know, getting
the casket from the funeral home to the hers or whatever,
and there's a flask and they're gathered around the back
of the suv having a drink or whatever. Why not
just you know, make it something everybody can do inside
instead of sneaking a drink like you're a bad person
for doing so.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
The other question is in a situation where you roll
in and it is a funeral, who's going to be
first to go up there and get them a drink?
Because I feel like until that settled in or became
a feeling of I don't know if the word is normal,
but at least acceptable. Yeah, who's the first one that
(06:50):
walks up? And do people go?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, drunks done out? You know, drinking is what killed
your alcohol?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
See that's no good.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You know that's going to happen. So but some family's
gonna end up like that.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, somebody dies dui or something. Yeah that's not appropriate then,
but if.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
You know what, if it's even if it's my funeral,
if the booze at the bar is good, I may
get up and have one myself before I go.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
One last one before I leave. It's Evergreen Funeral, Cremation
and Reception, And they're it says, set to open next year,
and they want to change how people view an average funeral, funeral.
I feel like you have done.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
You have accomplished already.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Without even opening your doors.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
And it used to be a chocolate factory. Yeah, the
building that they're out, So I mean you come to
the funeral, you may find some sweets laying around. Why not.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's on East seventeenth Avenue. It was marraw More chocolate
factory once upon a time. It's kind of like a
one stop shop funeral shop, funeral service package being around
five six thousand, the national average, by the way, upwards
of ten grand. Yes, so they're going five six thousand.
They offer online translations to allow for some of the
(08:04):
traditional African and some of the Middle Eastern families that
we serve in this community. This is the owner saying this,
to be able to communicate properly with their families.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm sorry but that I've actually had this thought just again,
because you know, I'm sick. I like to make people laugh,
I like to do stupid stuff. I've actually thought about
at my funeral having somebody officiate in a language other
than English and having you know, like everything that happens
up there, have the eulogy be from like a Somali
minister and everybody in the audience, go, are we in
(08:36):
the right place? Because I think that would be hilarious
to have people there for your funeral and not understand
a thing that's going on.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
The only thing sucks about that is you don't get
in on any of the fun Now. I know you're
just laying there and you're nonethwise.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I know, but still, I just just knowing. I have
that one last you ever been to the wrong funeral?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I did that. I walked through the funeral and I
knew all these people that were standing around outside, Hey,
how you doing? And I go inside. I make my
way through the crowd. There's quite a few people there.
I know, a lot of people shaking hands. How you've
been good to see. I get up to the casket.
I have no idea who the hell this is.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You're like, I'm in the wrong room funeral Like, so
it was in that funeral home, just wrong room.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
No, I went to the wrong funeral, completely wrong person
who died in there. Apparently we knew a lot of
the same people, clearly, but I had no idea who
the dead guy was.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Aaron you up for the funeral?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Booze came from a celebration of life over the weekend
down to Myrtle Beach, and it was at a beach house,
it wasn't at a funeral home. So the alcohol was
flowing pretty liberally. Okay, And you know the problem I
see with it a couple of them. First one is,
you know how during the funeral they say, if anybody
(09:48):
wants to share a story, yeah, well you got it.
Oh you know, you know, well, I've been at several
and you know a lot of times during the service
they'll say, if anybody has a story about you.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Know, the right we share.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Yeah, well you've got you know, several yeagermeisters and uncle
AO and here's a man, I just love that guy.
And then they turn in somebody that he slept with
from the other side of the family. That flip. Okay. Now,
then you have the domestically challenged aunt and step uncle.
You know, every once in a while, she she shows
(10:21):
up with a fresh bruise or two. However, after she's
had a few drinks. Yeah, no, look, you never you
never want to justify that. However, she knows how to
push buttons after she's had a couple of back and
coke bro I mean you.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Know, well you may have and thanks brother, you may
have just talked me right out of being for this. No,
I'm just kidding. Hey, Matt, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Well, in the words of Foster Brooks, I think the
thing that would be the worst at the funeral with
the drinking is it's family secrets time.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, you probably, Matt, Thanks, you're probably. You probably will
get some of that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Foster Brooks was also hilarious, underrated and forgotten comedian of
the seventies and early eighties. You remember him really seriously
when you get some time, google Foster Brooks. He was
always drunk. That was his shick and I mean you
just fall down stupid hilarious. Well, that was funny. Matt's
(11:27):
take on it was very yes, very much so.
Well, you've got to be at work tomorrow. If you
hit the mega millions.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Tonight, the words both hell and no come to mind.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Are you going to hook up?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Zech? If you hit yes, I will, Are you gonna
hook me up? You will be taken care of? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You absolutely, And I wasn't waiting on you to say
yes first. I absolutely. That's always in my plans. The
people that are in my life currently.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Even people that I don't like that are close to me,
I will make sure are provided for that kind of money.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Can I ask who that is?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Oh? Friends, family, you know, just people who've ticked me
off over the years, whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
But they're still around.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
They are still around, and for one reason or another,
I owe them some sort of dedication in for what
they have been or what they have done. And yeah,
I think I would do a lot of it. Sounds crazy,
but man, I'd spend so much of my money doing
good stuff that I wouldn't have time to spoil myself
for a while. I just I feel like if you're
(00:53):
blessed with that kind of thing, you got to do
something with it.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
You got to get straight away start blessing people with it.
Yes or something, God forbid, something horrible happened.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I don't mind, just go to the gas pup and
wait for an excuse me, sir in Hannema thousand dollars.
I mean, you know, the help organizations that help people
and help people that help people do stuff like that.
I think that's important effect change. Yeah. Yes, And if
you're what's the cash value on this thing tonight, like
three hundred million or.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
So seven hundred and forty million, eighth largest in the
game's history. Yeah, and then you know, what do they say,
I'll I'm you know, they start giving you, you know,
the smaller price, you know, kind of a thing. I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I think the cash value is usually about a third
of whatever the jackpot is, okay, and then whatever you
get is like a third less on that because the
government's got to take their thirty five.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
So you get twelve dollars after all, after all.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Of a sudden done and a coupon for a free cony,
which is always nice if it's a good cony place.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, this would be a merry freaking Christmas, wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yes, it would have you.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Uh have you got this? I love how in this article.
I'm like, well, this is a negative I shouldn't have
printed this one because I started reading and they were like,
don't expect to take home the jackpot, I mean odds
of winning. In other words, they're just poopooing your you know,
you're reading it and they're telling you, yeah, don't think
you're gonna win. Come on, stop it with that.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, people who say, yeah, a lotteries just legalized stealing
is all it is. I mean, your your chances are
winning that. Look, it's a game of why they call chance,
The numbers are going to come up there either going
to be the numbers you picked or not. That's the
chance of it. That's why it's called gambling and not investing.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right is that Cliff from Cheers? What you kind of
just did?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Right?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Okay to yeah Cliff Cleving was a little further down though. Yeah.
Junian Ratchenberger was his name. Oh okay, yeah, postman.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, question, that's who I got it wrong.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That he did how it's made If you ever watched that.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yes, he was on the air with me.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Actually, he actually is not that far from Homer Shimshin,
which is funny because I can slip into home pretty
quickly from John Ritch's pretty good man, you know I
play with my silliness all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, the odds of winning are three hundred two million,
five hundred and seventy five, three hundred and fifty.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
A right to one, same odds as me wearing a
speedo this spring that works.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
So there's a chance.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
There's a chance.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Zach attack. What would that be like?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
M suck the flatbat, take out the back here, I'm
rent to roll. Let's go to the beach boys, Rhett
rent to row, ret to roll. It's better than Fitna. True,
I'm Finna Hessen dinner. That's where people love the bonics.
When you say Finna, even the your bonics, people look
at you go, oh, that's messed up, Finna. Who came
(03:46):
up with that?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I'm fitting to have a Yeah. I might have even
enunciated too much there, even.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
When I said, oh, anyway, lottery prize. Yeah, you made
me rich, right, you take care of me? Absolutely? Okay,
that's all I need? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Absolutely? Yeah. I've said this a million times on the air,
but the one of the first things I think that
I would do, and it would be very very near
the top, you know, after taking care of you know,
family and friends and all that, but I would do
I would do start with a shelter for dogs, and
so that's one thing near and you and I both
(04:24):
have an affinity for dogs, so I would I would
do that first and foremost, and you know.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
A real good, well supplied, short shelter that is never
short of bedding or food.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Correct, correct, Yeah, I mean that's one thing that I
would love to be able to do. I think that
would be really cool.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
And I probably do the same type of thing except
for people, and and run it the way that I
believe it should be run, as opposed to the craft
that the government does. But you know, giving somebody a
bed for the night does absolutely nothing rebuilding their life
and helping them to rebuild their life and setting deadlines
on them, here's what we'll do for you, here's how
long you have to do it, and if you don't
do it, we're done. Because there are some people who
(05:02):
choose to live that life, live that way. But for
those that got caught up in something that are you know,
living in a tent or under a tarp or whatever.
If they legitimately want to rebuild themselves, there's really nothing
out there centralized to help them do that. So that's
something i'd want to do.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, somebody who they just fell on some bad times
and then they just need little help up.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Stuff happens and things break, that's the nature of life.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
There's a Columbus funeral home. It's going to be the
first in Ohio to operate with a liquor license.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I don't see this as being necessarily a bad idea.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I absolutely love it.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
You're saying goodbye to somebody you love, why not be
able to raise a glass and tribute? Why not?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
According to the Ohio Liquor Controls website, the permit, if approved,
would be for a D three license. A D three
is in Ohio allows for the sale of beer, wine,
and hard liquor for consumption on site. There's absolutely nothing
wrong with this, and I'm sure there a lot of
people are outrage. That is not the time of the Well,
then don't partake. It's just there for people who would
(06:06):
like to. It doesn't have to be part of what
you have to do. When you use said establishment and.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Go out to the car while they're you know, getting
the casket from the funeral home to the hers or whatever,
and there's a flask and they're gathered around the back
of the suv having a drink or whatever. Why not
just you know, make it something everybody can do inside
instead of sneaking a drink like you're a bad person
for doing so.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
The other question is in a situation where you roll
in and it is a funeral, who's going to be
first to go up there and get them a drink?
Because I feel like until that settled in or became
a feeling of I don't know if the word is normal,
but at least acceptable. Yeah, who's the first one that
(06:50):
walks up? And do people go?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, drunks done out? You know, drinking is what killed
your alcohol?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
See that's no good.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You know that's going to happen. So but some family's
gonna end up like that.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, somebody dies dui or something. Yeah that's not appropriate then,
but if.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
You know what, if it's even if it's my funeral,
if the booze at the bar is good, I may
get up and have one myself before I go.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
One last one before I leave. It's Evergreen Funeral, Cremation
and Reception, And they're it says, set to open next year,
and they want to change how people view an average funeral, funeral.
I feel like you have done.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
You have accomplished already.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Without even opening your doors.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
And it used to be a chocolate factory. Yeah, the
building that they're out, So I mean you come to
the funeral, you may find some sweets laying around. Why not.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's on East seventeenth Avenue. It was marraw More chocolate
factory once upon a time. It's kind of like a
one stop shop funeral shop, funeral service package being around
five six thousand, the national average, by the way, upwards
of ten grand. Yes, so they're going five six thousand.
They offer online translations to allow for some of the
(08:04):
traditional African and some of the Middle Eastern families that
we serve in this community. This is the owner saying this,
to be able to communicate properly with their families.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm sorry but that I've actually had this thought just again,
because you know, I'm sick. I like to make people laugh,
I like to do stupid stuff. I've actually thought about
at my funeral having somebody officiate in a language other
than English and having you know, like everything that happens
up there, have the eulogy be from like a Somali
minister and everybody in the audience, go, are we in
(08:36):
the right place? Because I think that would be hilarious
to have people there for your funeral and not understand
a thing that's going on.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
The only thing sucks about that is you don't get
in on any of the fun Now. I know you're
just laying there and you're nonethwise.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I know, but still, I just just knowing. I have
that one last you ever been to the wrong funeral?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I did that. I walked through the funeral and I
knew all these people that were standing around outside, Hey,
how you doing? And I go inside. I make my
way through the crowd. There's quite a few people there.
I know, a lot of people shaking hands. How you've
been good to see. I get up to the casket.
I have no idea who the hell this is.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You're like, I'm in the wrong room funeral Like, so
it was in that funeral home, just wrong room.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
No, I went to the wrong funeral, completely wrong person
who died in there. Apparently we knew a lot of
the same people, clearly, but I had no idea who
the dead guy was.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Aaron you up for the funeral?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Booze came from a celebration of life over the weekend
down to Myrtle Beach, and it was at a beach house,
it wasn't at a funeral home. So the alcohol was
flowing pretty liberally. Okay, And you know the problem I
see with it a couple of them. First one is,
you know how during the funeral they say, if anybody
(09:48):
wants to share a story, yeah, well you got it.
Oh you know, you know, well, I've been at several
and you know a lot of times during the service
they'll say, if anybody has a story about you.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Know, the right we share.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Yeah, well you've got you know, several yeagermeisters and uncle
AO and here's a man, I just love that guy.
And then they turn in somebody that he slept with
from the other side of the family. That flip. Okay. Now,
then you have the domestically challenged aunt and step uncle.
You know, every once in a while, she she shows
(10:21):
up with a fresh bruise or two. However, after she's
had a few drinks. Yeah, no, look, you never you
never want to justify that. However, she knows how to
push buttons after she's had a couple of back and
coke bro I mean you.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Know, well you may have and thanks brother, you may
have just talked me right out of being for this. No,
I'm just kidding. Hey, Matt, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Well, in the words of Foster Brooks, I think the
thing that would be the worst at the funeral with
the drinking is it's family secrets time.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, you probably, Matt, Thanks, you're probably. You probably will
get some of that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Foster Brooks was also hilarious, underrated and forgotten comedian of
the seventies and early eighties. You remember him really seriously
when you get some time, google Foster Brooks. He was
always drunk. That was his shick and I mean you
just fall down stupid hilarious. Well, that was funny. Matt's
(11:27):
take on it was very yes, very much so.
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