September 21, 2024 • 40 mins
In this special episode of The Agenda, live from Amsterdam on the Export Ultra Beer Garden Tour Of Munich, ACC Head G Lane & Manaia Stewart are joined by Jeremy Wells to recap G Lane's horrific dog poo disaster on the rolling hills of Naarden, the Heineken Factory tour and a Jack Sparrow themed canal cruise...
Plus, they recap the 1st Bledisloe Cup match, whether the All Blacks have the last 20-minute yips, and an update on the Black Caps in Sri Lanka!
Brought to you by Export Ultra!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life and the Export Beer Garden Tour of Munich, but
actually sitting in a hotel in Amsterdam. This is the
Agenda podcast for Saturday, the twenty first of September.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The Agenita Podcast Live from the Export on Trabiergarden Tour
of Munich.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
I'm pretty sure that's the night.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
That's actually the night that Earth, Wind and Fire are
singing about, the twenty first night of September.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
Good point.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
You know the song?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Yeah, you remember the twenty first of September.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Every year at university, I'd pull my red card on
the twenty first of September.
Speaker 5 (00:32):
To so you could sing that song.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yep, that's right, play that on repeat, ed nauseum. But yeah,
we are here on the Export Berguarden tour of Munich.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We haven't yet made it to Munich.
Speaker 5 (00:40):
No, this is the prelude.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
This is the prelude.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
But yesterday we had a day off, a bit of
a recovery day, and we took it upon ourselves to
you know, get lost in the country of Holland itself.
We took a train ride out to the regional Netherlands,
where we promptly got lost and spent about four hours
walking around.
Speaker 6 (01:00):
Didn't we well, the idea was Amsterdam itself. Emsdam Central
is quite intense, there's a lot going on. The idea was,
let's go out to regional Netherlands, kind of get on
a train for half an hour forty minutes and just
get out and go to maybe a nice village.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Yep, see some windmills.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
And our minds we had fields of tulips, windmills and dykes, didn't.
Speaker 7 (01:22):
We We did, But instead we found Narden and Nardin's
a fortified village worth moats all the way around.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It twice conquered I think in the thirteen hundreds and
fifteen hundreds.
Speaker 7 (01:34):
Yeah, burnt to the ground by the Spaniards, which is sad,
but they rebuilt it and we visited it. But the
train dropped us off and Narden Bosom and Nardin Bosom
is about a sort of forty minute walk from Narden,
the old village itself, so we wandered through I guess
suburban Narden, beautiful suburban Nardin tremendous.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
One of us roofs.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And we were walking through it about one and people
were biking back from school. So the schools and kindies
got let out and the kids would be biked home
for lunch by just these smoke show teachers. So you
got four kids in a basket on the front of
his bike. As this teacher drives them home, drops them
off at their house. They have some delicious I don't
know what they have for lunch, and then the cheese
(02:20):
chacuti and then they're back to school. It was like,
what a what a way to live in The houses
just beautiful.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
Are we sure that they were breath of freshier teachers
or were they just breath afreshier mothers?
Speaker 4 (02:33):
I think they were mothers.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Min I.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Oh okay, that was the vibe I got. Just suck.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
I was so jealousy sitting in their sacking on their
juice boxes.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah, the kids were in the in the baskets there. Yep.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And eventually, unfortunately we misread a map or two and
we took a very securitoust route, which is a word.
We had to google that it is actually a word
to get into this city of Nardin. When we got
in there. I don't know about you, guys, I was
expecting fortified village tourists attraction. No one's actually living in there,
But what we found was a thriving bustling community of
(03:05):
people that all lived in there. And actually the reason
that no one's ever heard of it is because they
don't want tourists it.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Now they don't.
Speaker 7 (03:12):
In fact, the number one and two tourist destinations in Narden.
One was the municipal Hall where there was a wedding
going on, which we witnessed and we missed the church bells.
We missed the bells, but there anyway, that's a different story.
And then the other one was the was the church church. Sadly,
both the municipal hall and the church were both shut,
(03:33):
which made us think nobody wants people, don't want people
on Narden. Yeah, the Nardinese, I believe they called Nadanese
people from Narden Knights.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Nah.
Speaker 7 (03:43):
Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure the Nardinis, the Nardine,
I don't think they they're happy with what they have.
They know that Narden is something special. And clearly Narden
was something special because otherwise it wouldn't be so heavily fortified.
I mean, it's far more fortified than say Amsterdam, Oh
for sure.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Oh, there was multiple notes three mote before you got
to the town of Nadam, that's right.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
And we had a glorious lunch.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Sitting underneath the church that was shut, just across the
road from the municipal hall that was also shut.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
There was a woman upstairs in a window balcony stunning
herself and dressing a room for some sort of disco.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
It seemed, yes, and we really treated ourselves to that.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
And that's sort of where it turned a little bit
because after lunch, you know, we'd had a couple of
beers on board, and we thought, let's have a look around.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
We'll go walking around Narden.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
We had a lookout on the parapets, some of the
sort of fortified walls, and that we got a little
bit lost.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
We walked quite far well.
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Gelane was particularly disappointed with the lawn, the what would
you call it.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Though, just the caliber of lawn.
Speaker 6 (04:43):
They didn't they didn't maintain their lawns. No, I was
unhappy with the lawn maintenance. It was long, it was weedy,
parts of it had been weed whacked. Where's the pride,
there's no pride, where's the yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
But so while we were discussing the soil and the grass,
we thought, look, we found a great little spot on
a hell overlooking what to be honest looked a bit
like a jail, and then a moat, and then a
park across the across the moat, we thought, let's just
sit down, take a breather. So we all sit down,
mind you before, I think it's pretty important to mention
before we sat down, we were walking along and we
(05:20):
had to stop to inspect an enormous pile of dog
purse along the path. Said, look at the size of
what kind of dog could I left that it was
a popular dog walking area because there were trees, there
was grass.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
I'm just trying to paint this sort of picture. When
I say moats, there are a number of motes. It's
almost if you look at it from a Google map,
Narden and please look it up, Naden in a den.
It's almost a star shape. It's beautiful from the air,
amazingly amazing. Considering they constructed that in fifteen hundred I mean,
how on earth they did it. I have no idea.
It's quite close to the coast, twenty minutes around to them.
(05:55):
But because of the fact that it has the trees
in the grass, it's just ideal for dog walking.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yes, it's perfect.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
It's a perfect place to walk a dog.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And dogs of all shads and sizes, And as I said,
we were examining this one dog turd and we were like,
what kind of dog that we've seen so far could
have left something like that.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Well there was a question from Joe jury with that
it was a human tud.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well it could It could well have been high fire,
but if it was. And so we looked at that,
we looked at all the dogs. We thought, you know,
let's just go and sit over here, take a loight off,
have a breath.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
The weather.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I have to say, late summer, it is delightful over here.
So we sat down to have a look over the moat.
We're lying there sort of in the grass, and Lane goes,
she's I can smell I can smell dog shit here,
and we said, yeah, well there are you know, there
were a few. We just we just looked at them.
There are a lot of dogs around here. Langs was
gathering as thoughts at that stage. He goes, no, no, no,
(06:43):
I can smell I can smell dog shit here. So
we said you've got to get up and ever look.
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Well before that, we're actually named it dog shit hell
because of all of that. We're basically lying on dogshit here,
I can smell a dog shit. And there was questions,
but maybe it was the giant ship that was on
sort of ten meters away that Joe Jerry thought that
maybe he's a human shit that that was ten meters away.
So maybe it was with the way the wind was blowing,
and it was blowing west east, so it was coming
back into us. Maybe it was that that was smelling.
But anyway, Lane was lying there. He'd laid down the
(07:13):
ship and he was blissful. He was absolutely blissfully. That
was in a good space, but he was moments from disaster.
He he was blissful, but at the same time, and
I think he was slightly uneasy about a smell.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Well, there was a people under the beach style because
he had taken he had an over shirt.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
A shirt jacket, a shackt shirt.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
As you may not, he'd taken that off, laid it
on the grass, and then laid on that. Well he
peels the shacket off to reveal a pancaked dog shit
on the back of the shack at the dog shacket
smeared into the fibers of the shirt, and it was
just like, Okay, that's exactly what the smell was.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I'm laid on a dog shit.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
I've laid on a dog shit and we were absolutely
in stitches.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
I was like, this kind have happened to a better person.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
When I tell you, it was.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
The hardest I laughed potentially in my life. I was
doubled over stomach cramps because Lane. We're in this idyllic
part of the regional Netherlands and Lane has laid in
dog shit.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
You just traveled twenty seven thousand k's. Have you ever
laid in dogshit before in your life? You have lived
for forty five years and you've never laid in a
dog shit, And all of a sudden you come to
the Netherlands and I'm rolling in dog shit. You could
have laid anywhere there was grasp for Africa, there was
so much grass, and you've picked the one spot. After
talking about the fact that it's called dog shit. Hell,
you'd almost you'd almost blessed it into existence.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
And there's been the thing going around social media recently
where I don't know if you guys are familiar with
the marine condo method. You look at a piece of
clothing and say does it spark joy? And if it doesn't,
you throw it out. People have sort of developed upon
that and said, look at your clothing if you want
to have a clear out, and think to yourself, if
I got dog shit on this, would I clean it
or would I just throw it out?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Well, Lane's dog shack it past the test because it
had dog shit on it.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Did he throw it away?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
We all tried to convince him to throw it, of course,
but no, he went down back into this idyllic town
that again, I want to remind you, did not want
tourists there. He went back down and washed the shirt
in the village fountain.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
In the village fountain, in the village square.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He's in the fountain. I was loving, ringing, ringing.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Dog shit would out of the sleeve of his shacket,
and there are children licking ice creams watching this foreigner.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
What do you know what?
Speaker 6 (09:29):
That was my only victory over Nadam was going in
there after dog shit hell and rolling in dog shit,
was going back into the village. And for me it
was a small victory the fact that I washed that
dog shit off in the ancient fountain in the middle
of their village, and there were so many dogs walking
past us, and every single one of them was a suspect.
(09:50):
It was like Lane's interrogating the So that's too big,
that one's too big, that one's that one's suspicious.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
But the question is what were you going to do?
Like you were?
Speaker 7 (09:58):
You were eyeing up every single dog angrily. Yes, and
he was suspicious of every dog. What were you going
to do if you found the perpetrator? At firstly, how
are you going.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
To find it?
Speaker 5 (10:07):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
And how are you going to prove it? And then
what were you going to do to it?
Speaker 6 (10:10):
I went at the time, I went through it, and
I was very familiar with the scent of this dog shit.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Because I'm living with it for half an hour.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
By that stage, I'd been rolling in it.
Speaker 6 (10:20):
And part of me was like, I am going to
go up to a dog and I'm going to ask
the owner if I can just maybe pat the dog,
grab its tail, sniffets ass, if I can match the scent.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Then I was going to grab that dog and I
was going to shit on.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
It, on it, shed all over it.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Do you have a shit brewing?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
I don't know. I would have forced it out. I
could have summoned one like I was.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
So wild, so wild, I was in such a good space,
lying on the grass in the sun and the sun
and had a lunch, had a beer, and then just
I was getting strong, and then God made worse by
the fact when I peeled my jack it off the
shit all over it, I've been rolling in shit for
at least twenty minutes. Was the fact that I couldn't
(11:06):
get any sense out of any of you because you
were fucking rolling around laughing for at least twenty minutes.
I'm trying to get the shit off the jacket when
the grass you're all going to get rid of it
bern it?
Speaker 7 (11:17):
Well, hold on, this is the question, and who in
that situation? Okay, you're in the idyllic situation. You've just
laid in some dog shit. It's all over you, shack
it or whatever it's called. At that point when you
find it out and discover that, surely you just go, oh, well,
that's a bit shit. I'm going to get my shirt.
It's going in the bin. I'm not even going to
(11:37):
worry about the rest of it. Who at that point
takes their shit a spends about ten minutes trying to
wipe off the.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Dog shit on the grass, Like I was, like.
Speaker 7 (11:46):
You didn't even the weird thing is you couldn't even
tell where the dog shit wasn't and wasn't. You were
looking around the shirt, you were and you were feverish.
And then all of a sudden, who then takes it
into a fountain in the middle of the town square
and then starts cleaning and doing your You're washing in
the fountain.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Quite deep to just chuck it, didn't kneel down and
go into the fountain.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Be done with it, Be done with it.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
My shacket is a survivor, okay, And that's that's why
it needed to live.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
I couldn't have thrown.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Your last shacket. You can buy and you you can
afford to buy a shacket.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
That shacket had now has a story.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, no, it's not a story that people want to hear,
because if you walk into the office wearing that shack
it we're all gonna no.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
But hold on. The story continues because then you cleaned it.
You tried to dry the shacket on a bin and
you could and it was still clearly stinking. And then
you bought the shacket back with you on the train. Yes,
dumped it in our hotel room, did a massive turd
in the toilet. I came in about five minutes later.
(12:50):
The whole room stunk like catch it. I don't know why.
It's not like catchit, but your turn smell like a
catch it. Plus you've got the shacket which stinks of poo.
And then you're like, I said, chuck it out. You're like, no, no,
I can. I can launder it. Next thing you know,
you've sent it down to Kate from from dB is
having to go down and make do your laundry for it.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Because they don't laundry on Saturday here. So she said
to go down the road.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
She God bless her doing God's She's taken it down there,
she's handed to the guy. The guy's taken one smell
of it. He's immediately put gloves on. He put gloves
on and started washing it with gloves on. That was
how disgusting it was.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Chuck it, chuck it. It's not that good a shit.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, the thing is, you were like, I love the shit.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You know, I've only said something along the lines of
I've only got this or it's my favorite or something
like that. You came back, got changed, She had a shower,
We went up for dinner. You show up in an
identical had another one.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
You've got it's not as warm. It's not as warm.
Speaker 6 (13:46):
And do you know what the reason my shit smelled
like catshit when I came back. I've been manifesting a
ship to cat shit on a dog. So the idea
was to grab whatever kavoodle did that on that little dog,
shit hell, and just put catshit all over him.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
So the long short of all of that was, we
never did find a windmill, we never did find the
chilip field, we never did find the canals.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
It was exciting just going out into.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
The regional Netherlands, but my god, we arguably spent far
too long out there as well.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
We definitely got lost the nether Regions.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
When we were waiting for the train, we had to
wait for about fifteen minutes. I felt like every dog
in the place was steering at you. Look for across
the train tracks. They were just the at you, what's
this guy about to?
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah? What about mister Arson titties?
Speaker 7 (14:29):
The guy with the bag that said Arson Titties on
it was a Pope bag.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
So it was just a quite a hipstery looking dutch
man standing at the train station wasn't speaking English. I
don't know if he did speak English, but yeah, just
had a tope bag that in giant block font said
Arson titties.
Speaker 7 (14:46):
Yeah he was mister Arson ted he was his girlfriend.
He was so interestingly didn't have teddies really or or
an ass and I don't know whether it was trying
to have a go at her or what he was
trying to do, or maybe make up to the fact
she didn't.
Speaker 6 (14:59):
Also, and the Netherlands, you've got to pay to go
the toilets, and you do in Europe in general, but
it's usually a nominal fee just to discourage whatever. But
it's usually fifty cents or a euro or whatever. And
we got back to the train station.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
We walked for about four hours this point.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Some of us me included, we're desperate to just go
to the toilet.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
And yeah, just toileting.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
You had to swipe you you have to swipe your
credit cardacter to take it off.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
And so you're out this thing.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
It's got a timer on it and it's a plays
credit card, and all of our credit cards got denied.
Basically we're asking people to shout us a dump.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, so I'm standing at the thing.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I've gone through two credit cards a wise card, all
this different stuff. I tried the payway thing, and then
a joke came around. I said, joking, you shout us
a dump. Matter, none of my cards work, so he
uses his card, no good lanes card. We're gone through
about six different credit cards, shout shout us a dump.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
Well it didn't saw the toilet the dump, but didn't
accept visa MasterCard.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Wise it see.
Speaker 7 (16:03):
The only one excepted was diners Club International. What kind
of toilet only accepts Diner's Club.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
A very very exclusive one.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Eventually, Tom Harper used to work for the a SEC
who now lives in Edinburgh, had some sort of Scottish
credit card, so when he went up to the thing,
it worked for him, and so I now owe Tom
of dump, he shouted. So that was what happened to
us yesterday. We came back here to the hotel, had
dinner and then got a good night's kept and then
(16:34):
we got up this morning to watch the All Blacks.
So we'll take a quick break and then we'll discuss
what we can remember from the All Blacks game. The
thirty one thirty eight was the score in the end,
and it was a weird game. Sorry, and for us
it was at seven forty five in the morning. Obviously
that was five forty five in New Zealand and then
(16:56):
three forty five over there in Sydney. And we got
up and went had breakfast upstairs here at the hotel.
Beautiful breakfast but one of the greatest breakfasts have ever had,
the sun Rose. And then we watched the All Blacks
sitting there looking out over Amsterdam and it was just delightful,
if a little distracting.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Who watched a great All blackswin.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
The first twenty five minutes was insane?
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
I was sitting there having my granola and coffee and
sau bowl. Yeah, and in the first twenty five minutes
I think you, I think you may have added the
words we're going to put one hundred on them.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Well, we were outscored in the clock through the first
twenty minutes, and I thought we were and people were
saying God blessed, but they were saying I've never seen
Australia getting tailed up like this by the All Blacks.
Have you watched any of Australia's games this year? They
are a Tier two nation.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Yeah, well, that was the term that was being bandied
about at the time. Tier two nation. What was that
twenty one? Was it twenty one seven or something at
that stage?
Speaker 4 (17:50):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, and then by about half time I think they
went into the sheds. It was on thirty one sort of.
I can't remember that.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
We scored three point We called it one penalty in
the seat and half.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
Yeah, that was so twenty eighth. We only scored three
points in the second half.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It was dire and we were talking about it yesterday
how unsatisfied New Zealanders are, and we I think we
forecast it. If we win, but we only win by
a little bit, Everyone's going to say, wow, unconvincing in
the win, and I think that's probably I mean, we
haven't seen the newspapers back home, but I suspect that's
what they're saying.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
But something weird's going on because it was a completely
dominant performance. Oh and we won by three points, but
it was a completely I never thought for a second
it was clear that the All Backs were the better team. Yeah,
we're only won by three. I mean that that seems
something's going slightly wrong.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Two yellow cards. I think that factors into a little bit.
But you're right, there's periods there where they just seem
to switch.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Off a scrumber's absolutely decking them.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
Yeah, it was all Blacks have yet to score a
point in the last twenty minutes of any of the
Rugby Championship games.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Oh really, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
That was I did see that stat flash up on
the screen because that's a massively skewed because of that
Argentinian game where they scored about forty points in the
last twenty minutes. But yeah, that is interesting. So what
is it a bench issue? Because Rays has been torn
around with the bench.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
I mean when I think it's more just more mental.
It's not nothing to do with I don't think it's
anying to deal with the bench.
Speaker 7 (19:15):
It starts to become a thing, doesn't it. And when
anything starts to become a thing all of a sudden,
when it's happening on the field, the players are all
going because they're more aware of it than anyone else,
trust me, they know exactly what they've got to do. Yeah,
and they're thinking, oh, this is happening again. And then
if I'm trying to remedy it, yeah, and then they
can't remedy it on the field, So then you get
(19:36):
really can't go around in a circle.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
It's target fixation.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
It's like if you're biking along an Amsterdam bike path
down there and you look at a powerpole or a tree, well,
you're gonna hit it because all you're thinking about is
the pole or the tree. And you're right, that's what
they're thinking about in that last twenty minutes. So like, geez,
I hope we don't shit the bed here, and then
if that's all you're thinking about, that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
Yeah, And to be honest, they are a little bit
maybe lucky because of course in the dying minute Ardie
Savilla looked like a high shot when I was watching it,
certainly to the naked eye. They then it was kind
of a high shot. They got the ball back, there
was a high shot. We then had got a turnover
and then we got the scrum. Yeah, and I was
(20:17):
sure Australians like, come on, we've got to review this,
surely this is the and then they went no, no,
that was absolutely fine. We're lucky not to give away
a penalty at that moment, maybe even a yellow card
in the last minute and they would have had the ball.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Who knows what could have happened after that.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
Obviously, two all Black tries were called back and one
Australian tribe was call back.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
But that one was very obvious.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Well he dribbled it like a basketball.
Speaker 6 (20:37):
Yeah, yeah, and I think the All Blacks knew that
and that's where they he just kind of coasted through.
But those two tries, I mean, we did quite bit
on the punt as well. Yes, one of the punts
we had was more than forty five and a half
points Ardi severe to score, yes, and call Clark jailed
the first second or third try scorer and it came
(20:59):
in fifteen bucks.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah. Just to pull you guys behind the curtain a
little bit. We've brought our own beers to Amsterdam for
some reason, and that reason is because export octre is
the most delicious beer that you will find both in
New Zealand and around.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
The world in export.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
You got to export it and I won't settle for this.
Speaker 6 (21:14):
We also took them on the boat cruise today. After
the hen experience, we then bought our own beers.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah we did.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
We'll get into the Heineken experience in just a moment.
Do we know where the crickets at? It's the rest
day today, is it.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
Yeah, it's not looking overly good. Two days to play
Sri Lanka. We mentioned the other day that if they
get above two hundred in terms of a lead, we're
in a spot of bother. Well, they're two hundred and
two ahead with six wickets to spare, okay on the
driver's seat. Yeah, and we have to obviously bat last
on this pitch.
Speaker 7 (21:46):
It's how bad the pitch company that bad? Wow, it's
not a minefield, it's not a minefield. But we can't
play spin.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
And I've got four spinners in their team who took
all the wickets in the first innings, so they'll be
full of confidence around that fourth innings. But O'Rourke's having
a good game. He's got eight wickets so far in
this game. So I mean, look, he could he's he's on,
could almost get a ten foot.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Kid that had put him twenty nine behind. Sir Richard Hadley.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Correct.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Look, so five wickets, five wickets, they've got five wickets remaining,
sex workers remaining, So we're gonna get six wickets. It's
just say six. Say we bundle them out for two
fifty ahead. Yeah, it's doable. I know, I'm not saying
it's easy, but it's it's doable. Just I think came
Williamson's the key.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
Well, disappointingly three of our spinners didn't get any wickets
set in Phillips and Ravendra ags is the only one
that got a wicket.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Is it flattening out?
Speaker 6 (22:46):
I don't know, will O Rock but there but their
bowler is Like I said that all the spin bowlers
got the wickets.
Speaker 7 (22:50):
It's not unusual that spin bowlers get wickets against New Zealand.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Do we know how the election's tracking. No, not on
the stage, not at the stage.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
To do a bit of research, and.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
Let's be good to also get an insight to what
they got up to on the day off.
Speaker 7 (23:08):
Yeah, well I can tell you what they wouldn't have done.
Gone to naarden and rolled in dog shit. Nobody would
have done.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
That should In fact, I dare say probably no one's
ever done that.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
You actually left an interesting part of that story out,
which you revealed to me last night just before you're
going to bed, And I think that's where sharing and
you actually were struggling a little bit because we talked
about the beef on the way over. You had the
beef strogging off on the on the leg from Dubai
to Amsterdam.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Before that, on the long near.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
The beef Cheek, I had some capaccio and then he
had capaccio yesterday with which beautiful but very rich. Anyway,
it's working through the system still, and you were having
some problems with gas, and you're having some problems with
what was coming through, and you were you couldn't. You
told me that you couldn't trust a fart, And you're
actually in a spot of bother because after you'd rolled
(23:59):
in the dog shit, you were aware that if you farted.
You were quite concerned that if you farted, you could
easily shut yourself and you might be the first person
to ever do the rolling dog shit shit yourself.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Double and you don't reckon. You could have come back
from that.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
I was going through my mind, was I can't shit
myself because that's a story for life. And then I thought,
and if I ship myself, no one here has got
spear shorts or undies.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
So I'm back in the fountain again.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
I'm making the fountain and then not in the foundain
at that stage, I'm going into the moat.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
We walked about two hours after that I was going
into the moat, and I was like, but then I'm
going to have to lose the undies and I have
to wash the shorts, put wet shorts on and then
just listen to you guys cackle like hyenas behind me
as a guy's rolling dog shit and shit himself. So
I had this going through my head old time. The
anxiety was killing me.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
That's a lot, Jerry, have been on the phone againness
straight away. We've got the first one to do that.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
I got.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
His name's Mike Lane. He's finally done it. All right,
let's say quick break and then let's catch up chronologically
to today and what we've been up to today. So
this morning, as we mentioned, we went out and we
watched the All Blacks up at the breakfast buffet, and
then we caught a couple of ubers, which I got
(25:16):
to say in New Zealand, where if you catch an uber,
you put a time in that you would like to
be picked up, So you say five o'clock on to
be picked up, and the uber shows up at five o'clock.
In Amsterdam, what seems to happen is you put a
time in and that's the time they leave wherever they are.
So if they're on the other side of town you
put five o'clock, they might not be here till five
forty five. And that's what happened to us. So we
(25:38):
very nearly missed our ubers this morning. Jerry and I
had to stand on a lawn for probably about half
an hour.
Speaker 7 (25:44):
Yeah, and as you said earlier on about the lawns,
low quality lawn here, a lot of weeds. No one
has a pride. I think they like a tree. They
love a tree here in the Netherlands, but they don't
really care for lawns fresh and New Zealand things. I
think no friendship big on lawns like a lawn. English
and French love a lawn.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Well.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I think it's actually a soil issue here. Jerry and
I think that it's quite sandy, silty. I do think again,
we're under sea level and there's so many canals around.
I think that it's actually it's not a good situation
for a nice lawn.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
It is a very green city.
Speaker 7 (26:16):
Is it been reclaimed? Is that part of the problem.
They can't grow the grass, they can't They just something
the reclaim land.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
I'm pretty sure a lot of this is reclaimed.
Speaker 6 (26:24):
I don't think there's any problem with the grass. It's
very green. It's just terribly maintained. Right, it's i'n't seen
a lawn this. Maybe this looks like it's been weed wet.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
So, for example, the French they do give a shit
about lawns. They don't give a shit about cars. Correct,
I'll just crash the car wherever you think this is.
This is the Dutch version of that. Yeah, they'll just
leave their lawn to deteriorate.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
Also, I got to say, the French lover love a
light gravel.
Speaker 5 (26:47):
Oh yeah, you don't see a crash line.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Yeah, crash line and you don't see any of that here.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
No, absolutely, Well it's tough on the bike tires. Really,
you know you've begun through a bit. Sorry it was
a distraction.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Sorry anyway.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
So the reason we were waiting for the uber is
because we were heading to as every tourist does when
they come here.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
We went to the.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Heineken factory, the Heineken experience, the Heineken experience, excuse me,
tremendous to the Heineken experience. I really immersed myself in
the law of Heineken and the family Freddie Heineken and
his dad and his granddad whose names escaped me.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Immersed yourself so much you can't remember.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
The immersed myself too much in the product. Afterwards, I
think I'll.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
Tell you what he loved, Freddy Hindeken. That's a dart.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Oh, oh my god, every photo of him.
Speaker 7 (27:31):
He loved a pole. He's always on the poles. Yeah,
he loved and he loved a pole.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
If I could just digress from the story for a moment,
because out the window, can you see the shirtless man
on roller skates just across the road.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
There he is.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
He's been going up and down this grass hill on
these roller skates.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
He looks sort of he's got a bit of a
forest gump vibe about him, and he is terrorizing the
cyclists that are just trying to get home from wherever,
that have been bombing down the hill.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (28:00):
Two words for you, them and I psilocybin truffles. I mean,
who goes down grass verges on? They roller blades, they
roller blades, a shirtless rollerbladers going here?
Speaker 5 (28:11):
He goes here, he goes again what appeared to be
hemp pants.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Of course, he's.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Crowning a real scene though. I mean there's a lot
of people standing around watching.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Is it a major intersection of bike lanes? There is
the family stopped as a family of two kids in
the tray at the front that're surrounded by about four
other families. A mate he's got his hands on his
hips and white shirt. Forest Gump is bombing a head
directly in front of He's got a sign. He's gotta sign.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
Now.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
What could possibly be on the sign?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
It's a pizza box.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Oh no, he's going to use it as a ramp.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Oh so he's found himself a ramp. Well, now here
comes another one. There's three of them now, Jesus on
roller blades.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
I mean he's not young. What's he trying to probably
in what fifties? Is he trying to get a roll
on down the hill using the pizza? He's more of them.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
That's a posse of rollerbladers.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
It's about three of them.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
What what's the clicked if?
Speaker 7 (29:00):
Now?
Speaker 6 (29:00):
And for a group of roller bays a pussy of
rollerblade I don't know what they're doing anyway.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
So we get with the Amsdam tour. What a tremendous
tour it is as well. There's a good mixture of
like you actually get to see the inner workings of
a massive brewery and it is massive. And then also
like real hard out visual trippy visuals and like.
Speaker 6 (29:25):
Led screens, music, like the whole immersive sensual experience.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
They send you through as if you are the Bali
and they brew you in one room, yes, and then
they send you through to the next room and they
bottle you, and then the next room after that they
distribute you around the world.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
There's quite a lot.
Speaker 7 (29:43):
You know you're in Amsterdam when the person who's taking
the tourist says to you, now, we're about to go
into the immersive experience. If you've been sampling any of
the things that are around Amsterdam, not just I'm not
talking about alcohol here, any of the other things like adalics,
one of the other legal things. This could either be
the best or the worst experience of your life. So
I'm not judging you what you said, but just let
me off. You're in that situation, and I'll sort of
(30:05):
hold your hand and help you throw I mean, who
says that on a tour Who who even points that out?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
I know it was great as well. They said, oh,
if you're claustrophobic. Just let us know. You'll be fine,
but please let us know how.
Speaker 6 (30:17):
My favorite part was after that immersive stuff was the
pest drinking hyper room. So they once you're in a bedroom,
they separated everyone into five little rooms yes, and you
sat down and they basically recreated a island beach scene
with dance music and a party and lasers and good
looking people. And then the other door opened and there
was a whole lot of people holding beers. So by
(30:38):
the end of it, you're like whoa, and then like, fuck,
I feel like a beer.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Then like opens up and there's just a whole room
beers and you're.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Like, yes, yeah, there was good.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
They force feed you a beer.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Then you go through into another room, which I actually
think we'll get to at the end of this. You
can customize a beer bottle. We'll get to that. But
then you get sped out into the bar and then
you get given a bunch of tokens and stuff. So
you're at the bar. You just it's basically free beers.
It is what you think it's going to be when
you go into the Heineken Factory tour. That was awesome,
(31:08):
but we did customize a few beer bottles. Yes, they
gave you the option you can write whatever you want
into the little touch screen in front of it.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Wow, well a reason you.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Can't generally when you write things into a screen like that.
I sort of thought that they would screen it for profanity.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
But so I thought, let's just have a crack here.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I couldn't really think of what to write, so I
just wrote sixty nine dog shit.
Speaker 6 (31:35):
Okay, okay, just to back it up, I put Lovely twenty,
Jeremy had minute piece and Joe Jury did sixy camel
So you know, we were we were just looking for
just a bit of play in terms of a nice name. You,
on the other hand, coming in about five minutes.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
After us, by myself, by yourself.
Speaker 5 (31:55):
Went to the computer type ten sixty nine.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I thought, I was like, it'll get it'll get banned,
you know, it'll be you can't put this because of profanity.
And then when it didn't, it printed me a receipts.
So take this to the gift shops. Fuck right, Okay,
Well let's figure this out, have we. I think we've
talked about where sixty hund dogshit came from on the podcast.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
We had a long time ago long time.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Ago, but it was a one of the children was
asked to compile a line out call that had to
be comprised of a number and an animal.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
The middle of the lineout.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
As you mession, Jerry, the apple does not fall far
from the tree because he came straight out with six
and hind dog shit. Which if you're playing against the
team and they call sex and hind dog shit in
the lineout and you're twelve years old.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
You do not contest that.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
You just go, let's see what. Let's see how this
plays out. What could sex ahind dog shit possibly? So
that stuck in my mind. Obviously there was the rolling
in dog shit shit the day before. So I come
out and we get to the gift shop. You guys
will go up and get your poddles, and it's like
lovely trendy city camel and I was like, oh, I
must read the room. And I hit up to the front.
(33:05):
You're all standing around me, and she goes, oh, sorry,
there's been an issue with your thing. We can't we
can't have it for afanity.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
She's reading.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It just sixty nine dog shit.
Speaker 7 (33:18):
And so you were like, she said, would you like
to change it? And you said, what about sexty nine
dog poop? She said, no, no, you had an opportunity
to come claim with something. And you're like, you went
back to the well again with dog poop doubled down.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
She's like, no, that's because that was what happened in
the rugby can.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
Because when when my son called sixty nine dog shit,
he got pulled up by the coach.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
He said, you can't swear. He said sixty nine dog poop,
So that was what It's.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
An animal and a number, it's not dog poo.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
I thought, if it's good enough for the couch of
the under twelves and second Bernu, it's good enough for
the woman at the Heineken experience, but evidently it was not,
and I was frozen at that point.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I was like, I don't know nothing else.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
What did you go for?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Well? I went with thanks mate. She's actually quite lame,
but so much brit because by this stage the whole
group and caught up with me. There's about thirteen people
watching me apologize to this woman take six and nine
dog shit face.
Speaker 7 (34:22):
Just to receive their bottles, and then you got sent
to the side.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
You got to reprinted, and she brought it out the
person brought it out and just said what the hell
is this? And the lady behind the count and said, oh, sorry,
just give it to me, and she brought it over.
She's like, is this been it? And I was like, wow, really,
but yeah, I'll take it. So anyway, I have a
customed mine can bottle with thanks mate written on it.
And if you think that's a bit lame, I tried
(34:50):
six and nine.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Dog shit.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
I tried it straight off the back of that and
a huge shout out to export. He brought us over here.
They kill it planning. We can walk straight out of there,
across the road onto a boat into hen to a
Heineken boat, and the tour of the canals was just
InCred I mean, I'm sure anyone has been to Amsterdam
has done that.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Before, but man, it's good, so good.
Speaker 7 (35:14):
And we're on a boat, like a big barge that
you can drink on. The guy was like you can,
you can, just don't lean over the side. That was
the only stand on the seat or stand on the seat,
so there was only two safety messages. Meanwhile, you know,
if you can drink a bottle of beers, like they're
not putting in plastic cups or anything.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Don't worry about that.
Speaker 7 (35:31):
And I had my arm over the side slightly because
I was kind of leaning on the side, and I
sort of pulled my arm and he goes, oh, no, no,
don't worry about that. You can have your arm over
the side like that, just don't dangle it. And then
I thought to myself, and you see these people cruising
behind their boats, and you can just hire a boat.
I think it's twenty five euros for like a couple
of hours. You hire a boat, motorized boat and bring
your beers, take away beers, chop them on the boat,
(35:53):
and you drive up and down the canals and it's hicnic. Yeah,
people just cruising around on these boats. It's such a
good time.
Speaker 5 (35:59):
And it was beautiful weather as well.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Some was out.
Speaker 5 (36:01):
It was twenty three degrees.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
We're get overtaken by the Black Pearl twice.
Speaker 5 (36:05):
They were stalking us to Black Pearl.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
They were.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
It was these two dudes. They were the most European
looking dudes you've ever seen. I reckon one of them
was definitely called Hans. They had the blonde here swept back.
They had a hater going. I was smoking on the
boat and they overtook us twice, once in this little
canal and then once in a much bigger canal. And
every time they came past, I had the parts of
the Caribbean theme song that think that.
Speaker 7 (36:30):
Classic Amsterdam, it's that thing. They had the pestle polos going. Yeah,
they were loving that analogue Dart and yeah, I mean
Amsterdam goodness meet. Definitely the best people in the world
come from this part of the world. Ah, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
They are the best of us.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
The tallest average height I think of the world. And
they're beautiful, all of them.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
It's so laid back and so just like, well, yeah,
just look after yourself, don't be a dick.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
And quiet is the thing I've noticed the most. Even
walking through central Amsterdam, you almost have to whisper to
the god.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
Next to you.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Yeah, they chill.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
The Dutch also just speaking to which not the Dutch.
Speaker 6 (37:05):
But as we left the Heineken factory, a big platoon
of males dressed as Mario carts came in and it
did remind me of the kind of twet fest that
goes on quite a lot in Amsterdam, with just big
groups of twats come for twat weekend and just behave
like twats, dressed like Twats and go for a full
(37:26):
twet off.
Speaker 5 (37:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (37:27):
Well, I was wondering whether we need to come back
at some stage maybe and have Tweatfest twenty five. We
bring it like twenty people over, ten people over and
just have a complete dressed up every day yep, and
you dressed up and you have different days, sweatfast and
then you just go out, get on the lash, hang out,
be a twet, come back to the hotel room whatever,
fly home, Because I mean, how good it is it
(37:48):
in Europe when you can just be a tweat for
three days in Absterdam tweet your way home.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
And also Twats.
Speaker 6 (37:54):
They just they just kind of we're not going to
pay you any special attention and we're not going to
do anything special. You're just dressed like a tweet. You
dress like a twenty guys dressed as Mario.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Going behineken do it and full Mario costumes and it's
like fall to Weetfest.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
But no one even goes blinks and aile comments. They
just kind of Eyrode just carries on sw I reckon.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
We should bring a two of twet.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I think we're gonna have to go twet Fest twenty five.
All right, we have just about to bounce, but I
think yeah, just after that Canal tour, we saw a
tweet fest.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
We came back here. We're regrouping a little bit.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
We brought a bit of room service up, a delightful
margarita pizza, some chips, and I'd like to give a
massive shout out to the person who brought them up
for us. Thor thought he's a great New Zealander.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Thor was a lovely guy, wasn't he.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
He runs a great operation.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
He is smooth and efficient on time's discreet. Yes, he's
not going to tell everyone that you're eating margarita pizzas
in your room.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
He's not going to judge you for having five empty
beer bottles and what seems to be some recording.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
He's not going to ask about it.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Big shout out for Thor.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
And when he asked about the recording equipment, we said, oh,
we do a podcast. He followed us then and there,
so Thor, if you've made it through the podcast, great gratulation.
I dare say we won't be seeing Thor again after
hearing about what we've been up to in the last
twenty four hours. But I did just want to give
Thor a massive shout out.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
I'm glad you remember that.
Speaker 6 (39:19):
But also tomorrow morning we are headed to Octoberfest.
Speaker 7 (39:24):
Yeah, that's right, early, first thing in the morning, six
o'clock call time.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
First item on the agenda tomorrow morning, a tomorrow afternoon
when we land in Munich.
Speaker 6 (39:32):
Leader Hosen absolutely full, leader Hosen full felt hat. I'm
going the whole hog.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Yeah absolutely, I'm assimilating. Yeah, I want to become German. Yeah,
you look very Germany.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
I do, don't.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
I I think Germany's quite dark in the Bavaria.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
I've heard.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
All right, let's knock this thing on the head. Thank
you very much for.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agender podcast, brought to
you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow
on iHeartRadio. Well of you get your podcasts
Life and the Export Beer Garden Tour of Munich, but
actually sitting in a hotel in Amsterdam. This is the
Agenda podcast for Saturday, the twenty first of September.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The Agenita Podcast Live from the Export on Trabiergarden Tour
of Munich.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
I'm pretty sure that's the night.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
That's actually the night that Earth, Wind and Fire are
singing about, the twenty first night of September.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
Good point.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
You know the song?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Yeah, you remember the twenty first of September.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Every year at university, I'd pull my red card on
the twenty first of September.
Speaker 5 (00:32):
To so you could sing that song.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yep, that's right, play that on repeat, ed nauseum. But yeah,
we are here on the Export Berguarden tour of Munich.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We haven't yet made it to Munich.
Speaker 5 (00:40):
No, this is the prelude.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
This is the prelude.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
But yesterday we had a day off, a bit of
a recovery day, and we took it upon ourselves to
you know, get lost in the country of Holland itself.
We took a train ride out to the regional Netherlands,
where we promptly got lost and spent about four hours
walking around.
Speaker 6 (01:00):
Didn't we well, the idea was Amsterdam itself. Emsdam Central
is quite intense, there's a lot going on. The idea was,
let's go out to regional Netherlands, kind of get on
a train for half an hour forty minutes and just
get out and go to maybe a nice village.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Yep, see some windmills.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
And our minds we had fields of tulips, windmills and dykes, didn't.
Speaker 7 (01:22):
We We did, But instead we found Narden and Nardin's
a fortified village worth moats all the way around.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It twice conquered I think in the thirteen hundreds and
fifteen hundreds.
Speaker 7 (01:34):
Yeah, burnt to the ground by the Spaniards, which is sad,
but they rebuilt it and we visited it. But the
train dropped us off and Narden Bosom and Nardin Bosom
is about a sort of forty minute walk from Narden,
the old village itself, so we wandered through I guess
suburban Narden, beautiful suburban Nardin tremendous.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
One of us roofs.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And we were walking through it about one and people
were biking back from school. So the schools and kindies
got let out and the kids would be biked home
for lunch by just these smoke show teachers. So you
got four kids in a basket on the front of
his bike. As this teacher drives them home, drops them
off at their house. They have some delicious I don't
know what they have for lunch, and then the cheese
(02:20):
chacuti and then they're back to school. It was like,
what a what a way to live in The houses
just beautiful.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
Are we sure that they were breath of freshier teachers
or were they just breath afreshier mothers?
Speaker 4 (02:33):
I think they were mothers.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Min I.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Oh okay, that was the vibe I got. Just suck.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
I was so jealousy sitting in their sacking on their
juice boxes.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah, the kids were in the in the baskets there. Yep.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And eventually, unfortunately we misread a map or two and
we took a very securitoust route, which is a word.
We had to google that it is actually a word
to get into this city of Nardin. When we got
in there. I don't know about you, guys, I was
expecting fortified village tourists attraction. No one's actually living in there,
But what we found was a thriving bustling community of
(03:05):
people that all lived in there. And actually the reason
that no one's ever heard of it is because they
don't want tourists it.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Now they don't.
Speaker 7 (03:12):
In fact, the number one and two tourist destinations in Narden.
One was the municipal Hall where there was a wedding
going on, which we witnessed and we missed the church bells.
We missed the bells, but there anyway, that's a different story.
And then the other one was the was the church church. Sadly,
both the municipal hall and the church were both shut,
(03:33):
which made us think nobody wants people, don't want people
on Narden. Yeah, the Nardinese, I believe they called Nadanese
people from Narden Knights.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Nah.
Speaker 7 (03:43):
Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure the Nardinis, the Nardine,
I don't think they they're happy with what they have.
They know that Narden is something special. And clearly Narden
was something special because otherwise it wouldn't be so heavily fortified.
I mean, it's far more fortified than say Amsterdam, Oh
for sure.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Oh, there was multiple notes three mote before you got
to the town of Nadam, that's right.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
And we had a glorious lunch.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Sitting underneath the church that was shut, just across the
road from the municipal hall that was also shut.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
There was a woman upstairs in a window balcony stunning
herself and dressing a room for some sort of disco.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
It seemed, yes, and we really treated ourselves to that.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
And that's sort of where it turned a little bit
because after lunch, you know, we'd had a couple of
beers on board, and we thought, let's have a look around.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
We'll go walking around Narden.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
We had a lookout on the parapets, some of the
sort of fortified walls, and that we got a little
bit lost.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
We walked quite far well.
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Gelane was particularly disappointed with the lawn, the what would
you call it.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Though, just the caliber of lawn.
Speaker 6 (04:43):
They didn't they didn't maintain their lawns. No, I was
unhappy with the lawn maintenance. It was long, it was weedy,
parts of it had been weed whacked. Where's the pride,
there's no pride, where's the yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
But so while we were discussing the soil and the grass,
we thought, look, we found a great little spot on
a hell overlooking what to be honest looked a bit
like a jail, and then a moat, and then a
park across the across the moat, we thought, let's just
sit down, take a breather. So we all sit down,
mind you before, I think it's pretty important to mention
before we sat down, we were walking along and we
(05:20):
had to stop to inspect an enormous pile of dog
purse along the path. Said, look at the size of
what kind of dog could I left that it was
a popular dog walking area because there were trees, there
was grass.
Speaker 7 (05:32):
I'm just trying to paint this sort of picture. When
I say moats, there are a number of motes. It's
almost if you look at it from a Google map,
Narden and please look it up, Naden in a den.
It's almost a star shape. It's beautiful from the air,
amazingly amazing. Considering they constructed that in fifteen hundred I mean,
how on earth they did it. I have no idea.
It's quite close to the coast, twenty minutes around to them.
(05:55):
But because of the fact that it has the trees
in the grass, it's just ideal for dog walking.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Yes, it's perfect.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
It's a perfect place to walk a dog.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And dogs of all shads and sizes, And as I said,
we were examining this one dog turd and we were like,
what kind of dog that we've seen so far could
have left something like that.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Well there was a question from Joe jury with that
it was a human tud.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well it could It could well have been high fire,
but if it was. And so we looked at that,
we looked at all the dogs. We thought, you know,
let's just go and sit over here, take a loight off,
have a breath.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
The weather.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I have to say, late summer, it is delightful over here.
So we sat down to have a look over the moat.
We're lying there sort of in the grass, and Lane goes,
she's I can smell I can smell dog shit here,
and we said, yeah, well there are you know, there
were a few. We just we just looked at them.
There are a lot of dogs around here. Langs was
gathering as thoughts at that stage. He goes, no, no, no,
(06:43):
I can smell I can smell dog shit here. So
we said you've got to get up and ever look.
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Well before that, we're actually named it dog shit hell
because of all of that. We're basically lying on dogshit here,
I can smell a dog shit. And there was questions,
but maybe it was the giant ship that was on
sort of ten meters away that Joe Jerry thought that
maybe he's a human shit that that was ten meters away.
So maybe it was with the way the wind was blowing,
and it was blowing west east, so it was coming
back into us. Maybe it was that that was smelling.
But anyway, Lane was lying there. He'd laid down the
(07:13):
ship and he was blissful. He was absolutely blissfully. That
was in a good space, but he was moments from disaster.
He he was blissful, but at the same time, and
I think he was slightly uneasy about a smell.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Well, there was a people under the beach style because
he had taken he had an over shirt.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
A shirt jacket, a shackt shirt.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
As you may not, he'd taken that off, laid it
on the grass, and then laid on that. Well he
peels the shacket off to reveal a pancaked dog shit
on the back of the shack at the dog shacket
smeared into the fibers of the shirt, and it was
just like, Okay, that's exactly what the smell was.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I'm laid on a dog shit.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
I've laid on a dog shit and we were absolutely
in stitches.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
I was like, this kind have happened to a better person.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
When I tell you, it was.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
The hardest I laughed potentially in my life. I was
doubled over stomach cramps because Lane. We're in this idyllic
part of the regional Netherlands and Lane has laid in
dog shit.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
You just traveled twenty seven thousand k's. Have you ever
laid in dogshit before in your life? You have lived
for forty five years and you've never laid in a
dog shit, And all of a sudden you come to
the Netherlands and I'm rolling in dog shit. You could
have laid anywhere there was grasp for Africa, there was
so much grass, and you've picked the one spot. After
talking about the fact that it's called dog shit. Hell,
you'd almost you'd almost blessed it into existence.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
And there's been the thing going around social media recently
where I don't know if you guys are familiar with
the marine condo method. You look at a piece of
clothing and say does it spark joy? And if it doesn't,
you throw it out. People have sort of developed upon
that and said, look at your clothing if you want
to have a clear out, and think to yourself, if
I got dog shit on this, would I clean it
or would I just throw it out?
Speaker 4 (08:56):
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Well, Lane's dog shack it past the test because it
had dog shit on it.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Did he throw it away?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
We all tried to convince him to throw it, of course,
but no, he went down back into this idyllic town
that again, I want to remind you, did not want
tourists there. He went back down and washed the shirt
in the village fountain.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
In the village fountain, in the village square.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He's in the fountain. I was loving, ringing, ringing.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Dog shit would out of the sleeve of his shacket,
and there are children licking ice creams watching this foreigner.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
What do you know what?
Speaker 6 (09:29):
That was my only victory over Nadam was going in
there after dog shit hell and rolling in dog shit,
was going back into the village. And for me it
was a small victory the fact that I washed that
dog shit off in the ancient fountain in the middle
of their village, and there were so many dogs walking
past us, and every single one of them was a suspect.
(09:50):
It was like Lane's interrogating the So that's too big,
that one's too big, that one's that one's suspicious.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
But the question is what were you going to do?
Like you were?
Speaker 7 (09:58):
You were eyeing up every single dog angrily. Yes, and
he was suspicious of every dog. What were you going
to do if you found the perpetrator? At firstly, how
are you going.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
To find it?
Speaker 5 (10:07):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
And how are you going to prove it? And then
what were you going to do to it?
Speaker 6 (10:10):
I went at the time, I went through it, and
I was very familiar with the scent of this dog shit.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Because I'm living with it for half an hour.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
By that stage, I'd been rolling in it.
Speaker 6 (10:20):
And part of me was like, I am going to
go up to a dog and I'm going to ask
the owner if I can just maybe pat the dog,
grab its tail, sniffets ass, if I can match the scent.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Then I was going to grab that dog and I
was going to shit on.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
It, on it, shed all over it.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Do you have a shit brewing?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
I don't know. I would have forced it out. I
could have summoned one like I was.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
So wild, so wild, I was in such a good space,
lying on the grass in the sun and the sun
and had a lunch, had a beer, and then just
I was getting strong, and then God made worse by
the fact when I peeled my jack it off the
shit all over it, I've been rolling in shit for
at least twenty minutes. Was the fact that I couldn't
(11:06):
get any sense out of any of you because you
were fucking rolling around laughing for at least twenty minutes.
I'm trying to get the shit off the jacket when
the grass you're all going to get rid of it
bern it?
Speaker 7 (11:17):
Well, hold on, this is the question, and who in
that situation? Okay, you're in the idyllic situation. You've just
laid in some dog shit. It's all over you, shack
it or whatever it's called. At that point when you
find it out and discover that, surely you just go, oh, well,
that's a bit shit. I'm going to get my shirt.
It's going in the bin. I'm not even going to
(11:37):
worry about the rest of it. Who at that point
takes their shit a spends about ten minutes trying to
wipe off the.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Dog shit on the grass, Like I was, like.
Speaker 7 (11:46):
You didn't even the weird thing is you couldn't even
tell where the dog shit wasn't and wasn't. You were
looking around the shirt, you were and you were feverish.
And then all of a sudden, who then takes it
into a fountain in the middle of the town square
and then starts cleaning and doing your You're washing in
the fountain.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Quite deep to just chuck it, didn't kneel down and
go into the fountain.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Be done with it, Be done with it.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
My shacket is a survivor, okay, And that's that's why
it needed to live.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
I couldn't have thrown.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Your last shacket. You can buy and you you can
afford to buy a shacket.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
That shacket had now has a story.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, no, it's not a story that people want to hear,
because if you walk into the office wearing that shack
it we're all gonna no.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
But hold on. The story continues because then you cleaned it.
You tried to dry the shacket on a bin and
you could and it was still clearly stinking. And then
you bought the shacket back with you on the train. Yes,
dumped it in our hotel room, did a massive turd
in the toilet. I came in about five minutes later.
(12:50):
The whole room stunk like catch it. I don't know why.
It's not like catchit, but your turn smell like a
catch it. Plus you've got the shacket which stinks of poo.
And then you're like, I said, chuck it out. You're like, no, no,
I can. I can launder it. Next thing you know,
you've sent it down to Kate from from dB is
having to go down and make do your laundry for it.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Because they don't laundry on Saturday here. So she said
to go down the road.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
She God bless her doing God's She's taken it down there,
she's handed to the guy. The guy's taken one smell
of it. He's immediately put gloves on. He put gloves
on and started washing it with gloves on. That was
how disgusting it was.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Chuck it, chuck it. It's not that good a shit.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, the thing is, you were like, I love the shit.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You know, I've only said something along the lines of
I've only got this or it's my favorite or something
like that. You came back, got changed, She had a shower,
We went up for dinner. You show up in an
identical had another one.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
You've got it's not as warm. It's not as warm.
Speaker 6 (13:46):
And do you know what the reason my shit smelled
like catshit when I came back. I've been manifesting a
ship to cat shit on a dog. So the idea
was to grab whatever kavoodle did that on that little dog,
shit hell, and just put catshit all over him.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
So the long short of all of that was, we
never did find a windmill, we never did find the
chilip field, we never did find the canals.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
It was exciting just going out into.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
The regional Netherlands, but my god, we arguably spent far
too long out there as well.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
We definitely got lost the nether Regions.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
When we were waiting for the train, we had to
wait for about fifteen minutes. I felt like every dog
in the place was steering at you. Look for across
the train tracks. They were just the at you, what's
this guy about to?
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah? What about mister Arson titties?
Speaker 7 (14:29):
The guy with the bag that said Arson Titties on
it was a Pope bag.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
So it was just a quite a hipstery looking dutch
man standing at the train station wasn't speaking English. I
don't know if he did speak English, but yeah, just
had a tope bag that in giant block font said
Arson titties.
Speaker 7 (14:46):
Yeah he was mister Arson ted he was his girlfriend.
He was so interestingly didn't have teddies really or or
an ass and I don't know whether it was trying
to have a go at her or what he was
trying to do, or maybe make up to the fact
she didn't.
Speaker 6 (14:59):
Also, and the Netherlands, you've got to pay to go
the toilets, and you do in Europe in general, but
it's usually a nominal fee just to discourage whatever. But
it's usually fifty cents or a euro or whatever. And
we got back to the train station.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
We walked for about four hours this point.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Some of us me included, we're desperate to just go
to the toilet.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
And yeah, just toileting.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
You had to swipe you you have to swipe your
credit cardacter to take it off.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
And so you're out this thing.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
It's got a timer on it and it's a plays
credit card, and all of our credit cards got denied.
Basically we're asking people to shout us a dump.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, so I'm standing at the thing.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I've gone through two credit cards a wise card, all
this different stuff. I tried the payway thing, and then
a joke came around. I said, joking, you shout us
a dump. Matter, none of my cards work, so he
uses his card, no good lanes card. We're gone through
about six different credit cards, shout shout us a dump.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
Well it didn't saw the toilet the dump, but didn't
accept visa MasterCard.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Wise it see.
Speaker 7 (16:03):
The only one excepted was diners Club International. What kind
of toilet only accepts Diner's Club.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
A very very exclusive one.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Eventually, Tom Harper used to work for the a SEC
who now lives in Edinburgh, had some sort of Scottish
credit card, so when he went up to the thing,
it worked for him, and so I now owe Tom
of dump, he shouted. So that was what happened to
us yesterday. We came back here to the hotel, had
dinner and then got a good night's kept and then
(16:34):
we got up this morning to watch the All Blacks.
So we'll take a quick break and then we'll discuss
what we can remember from the All Blacks game. The
thirty one thirty eight was the score in the end,
and it was a weird game. Sorry, and for us
it was at seven forty five in the morning. Obviously
that was five forty five in New Zealand and then
(16:56):
three forty five over there in Sydney. And we got
up and went had breakfast upstairs here at the hotel.
Beautiful breakfast but one of the greatest breakfasts have ever had,
the sun Rose. And then we watched the All Blacks
sitting there looking out over Amsterdam and it was just delightful,
if a little distracting.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Who watched a great All blackswin.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
The first twenty five minutes was insane?
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
I was sitting there having my granola and coffee and
sau bowl. Yeah, and in the first twenty five minutes
I think you, I think you may have added the
words we're going to put one hundred on them.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Well, we were outscored in the clock through the first
twenty minutes, and I thought we were and people were
saying God blessed, but they were saying I've never seen
Australia getting tailed up like this by the All Blacks.
Have you watched any of Australia's games this year? They
are a Tier two nation.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Yeah, well, that was the term that was being bandied
about at the time. Tier two nation. What was that
twenty one? Was it twenty one seven or something at
that stage?
Speaker 4 (17:50):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, and then by about half time I think they
went into the sheds. It was on thirty one sort of.
I can't remember that.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
We scored three point We called it one penalty in
the seat and half.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
Yeah, that was so twenty eighth. We only scored three
points in the second half.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It was dire and we were talking about it yesterday
how unsatisfied New Zealanders are, and we I think we
forecast it. If we win, but we only win by
a little bit, Everyone's going to say, wow, unconvincing in
the win, and I think that's probably I mean, we
haven't seen the newspapers back home, but I suspect that's
what they're saying.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
But something weird's going on because it was a completely
dominant performance. Oh and we won by three points, but
it was a completely I never thought for a second
it was clear that the All Backs were the better team. Yeah,
we're only won by three. I mean that that seems
something's going slightly wrong.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Two yellow cards. I think that factors into a little bit.
But you're right, there's periods there where they just seem
to switch.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Off a scrumber's absolutely decking them.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
Yeah, it was all Blacks have yet to score a
point in the last twenty minutes of any of the
Rugby Championship games.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Oh really, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
That was I did see that stat flash up on
the screen because that's a massively skewed because of that
Argentinian game where they scored about forty points in the
last twenty minutes. But yeah, that is interesting. So what
is it a bench issue? Because Rays has been torn
around with the bench.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
I mean when I think it's more just more mental.
It's not nothing to do with I don't think it's
anying to deal with the bench.
Speaker 7 (19:15):
It starts to become a thing, doesn't it. And when
anything starts to become a thing all of a sudden,
when it's happening on the field, the players are all
going because they're more aware of it than anyone else,
trust me, they know exactly what they've got to do. Yeah,
and they're thinking, oh, this is happening again. And then
if I'm trying to remedy it, yeah, and then they
can't remedy it on the field, So then you get
(19:36):
really can't go around in a circle.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
It's target fixation.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
It's like if you're biking along an Amsterdam bike path
down there and you look at a powerpole or a tree, well,
you're gonna hit it because all you're thinking about is
the pole or the tree. And you're right, that's what
they're thinking about in that last twenty minutes. So like, geez,
I hope we don't shit the bed here, and then
if that's all you're thinking about, that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
Yeah, And to be honest, they are a little bit
maybe lucky because of course in the dying minute Ardie
Savilla looked like a high shot when I was watching it,
certainly to the naked eye. They then it was kind
of a high shot. They got the ball back, there
was a high shot. We then had got a turnover
and then we got the scrum. Yeah, and I was
(20:17):
sure Australians like, come on, we've got to review this,
surely this is the and then they went no, no,
that was absolutely fine. We're lucky not to give away
a penalty at that moment, maybe even a yellow card
in the last minute and they would have had the ball.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Who knows what could have happened after that.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
Obviously, two all Black tries were called back and one
Australian tribe was call back.
Speaker 5 (20:35):
But that one was very obvious.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Well he dribbled it like a basketball.
Speaker 6 (20:37):
Yeah, yeah, and I think the All Blacks knew that
and that's where they he just kind of coasted through.
But those two tries, I mean, we did quite bit
on the punt as well. Yes, one of the punts
we had was more than forty five and a half
points Ardi severe to score, yes, and call Clark jailed
the first second or third try scorer and it came
(20:59):
in fifteen bucks.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah. Just to pull you guys behind the curtain a
little bit. We've brought our own beers to Amsterdam for
some reason, and that reason is because export octre is
the most delicious beer that you will find both in
New Zealand and around.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
The world in export.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
You got to export it and I won't settle for this.
Speaker 6 (21:14):
We also took them on the boat cruise today. After
the hen experience, we then bought our own beers.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah we did.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
We'll get into the Heineken experience in just a moment.
Do we know where the crickets at? It's the rest
day today, is it.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
Yeah, it's not looking overly good. Two days to play
Sri Lanka. We mentioned the other day that if they
get above two hundred in terms of a lead, we're
in a spot of bother. Well, they're two hundred and
two ahead with six wickets to spare, okay on the
driver's seat. Yeah, and we have to obviously bat last
on this pitch.
Speaker 7 (21:46):
It's how bad the pitch company that bad? Wow, it's
not a minefield, it's not a minefield. But we can't
play spin.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
And I've got four spinners in their team who took
all the wickets in the first innings, so they'll be
full of confidence around that fourth innings. But O'Rourke's having
a good game. He's got eight wickets so far in
this game. So I mean, look, he could he's he's on,
could almost get a ten foot.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Kid that had put him twenty nine behind. Sir Richard Hadley.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Correct.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Look, so five wickets, five wickets, they've got five wickets remaining,
sex workers remaining, So we're gonna get six wickets. It's
just say six. Say we bundle them out for two
fifty ahead. Yeah, it's doable. I know, I'm not saying
it's easy, but it's it's doable. Just I think came
Williamson's the key.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
Well, disappointingly three of our spinners didn't get any wickets
set in Phillips and Ravendra ags is the only one
that got a wicket.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Is it flattening out?
Speaker 6 (22:46):
I don't know, will O Rock but there but their
bowler is Like I said that all the spin bowlers
got the wickets.
Speaker 7 (22:50):
It's not unusual that spin bowlers get wickets against New Zealand.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Do we know how the election's tracking. No, not on
the stage, not at the stage.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
To do a bit of research, and.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
Let's be good to also get an insight to what
they got up to on the day off.
Speaker 7 (23:08):
Yeah, well I can tell you what they wouldn't have done.
Gone to naarden and rolled in dog shit. Nobody would
have done.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
That should In fact, I dare say probably no one's
ever done that.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
You actually left an interesting part of that story out,
which you revealed to me last night just before you're
going to bed, And I think that's where sharing and
you actually were struggling a little bit because we talked
about the beef on the way over. You had the
beef strogging off on the on the leg from Dubai
to Amsterdam.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Before that, on the long near.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
The beef Cheek, I had some capaccio and then he
had capaccio yesterday with which beautiful but very rich. Anyway,
it's working through the system still, and you were having
some problems with gas, and you're having some problems with
what was coming through, and you were you couldn't. You
told me that you couldn't trust a fart, And you're
actually in a spot of bother because after you'd rolled
(23:59):
in the dog shit, you were aware that if you farted.
You were quite concerned that if you farted, you could
easily shut yourself and you might be the first person
to ever do the rolling dog shit shit yourself.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Double and you don't reckon. You could have come back
from that.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
I was going through my mind, was I can't shit
myself because that's a story for life. And then I thought,
and if I ship myself, no one here has got
spear shorts or undies.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
So I'm back in the fountain again.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
I'm making the fountain and then not in the foundain
at that stage, I'm going into the moat.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
We walked about two hours after that I was going
into the moat, and I was like, but then I'm
going to have to lose the undies and I have
to wash the shorts, put wet shorts on and then
just listen to you guys cackle like hyenas behind me
as a guy's rolling dog shit and shit himself. So
I had this going through my head old time. The
anxiety was killing me.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
That's a lot, Jerry, have been on the phone againness
straight away. We've got the first one to do that.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
I got.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
His name's Mike Lane. He's finally done it. All right,
let's say quick break and then let's catch up chronologically
to today and what we've been up to today. So
this morning, as we mentioned, we went out and we
watched the All Blacks up at the breakfast buffet, and
then we caught a couple of ubers, which I got
(25:16):
to say in New Zealand, where if you catch an uber,
you put a time in that you would like to
be picked up, So you say five o'clock on to
be picked up, and the uber shows up at five o'clock.
In Amsterdam, what seems to happen is you put a
time in and that's the time they leave wherever they are.
So if they're on the other side of town you
put five o'clock, they might not be here till five
forty five. And that's what happened to us. So we
(25:38):
very nearly missed our ubers this morning. Jerry and I
had to stand on a lawn for probably about half
an hour.
Speaker 7 (25:44):
Yeah, and as you said earlier on about the lawns,
low quality lawn here, a lot of weeds. No one
has a pride. I think they like a tree. They
love a tree here in the Netherlands, but they don't
really care for lawns fresh and New Zealand things. I
think no friendship big on lawns like a lawn. English
and French love a lawn.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Well.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I think it's actually a soil issue here. Jerry and
I think that it's quite sandy, silty. I do think again,
we're under sea level and there's so many canals around.
I think that it's actually it's not a good situation
for a nice lawn.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
It is a very green city.
Speaker 7 (26:16):
Is it been reclaimed? Is that part of the problem.
They can't grow the grass, they can't They just something
the reclaim land.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
I'm pretty sure a lot of this is reclaimed.
Speaker 6 (26:24):
I don't think there's any problem with the grass. It's
very green. It's just terribly maintained. Right, it's i'n't seen
a lawn this. Maybe this looks like it's been weed wet.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
So, for example, the French they do give a shit
about lawns. They don't give a shit about cars. Correct,
I'll just crash the car wherever you think this is.
This is the Dutch version of that. Yeah, they'll just
leave their lawn to deteriorate.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
Also, I got to say, the French lover love a
light gravel.
Speaker 5 (26:47):
Oh yeah, you don't see a crash line.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Yeah, crash line and you don't see any of that here.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
No, absolutely, Well it's tough on the bike tires. Really,
you know you've begun through a bit. Sorry it was
a distraction.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Sorry anyway.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
So the reason we were waiting for the uber is
because we were heading to as every tourist does when
they come here.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
We went to the.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Heineken factory, the Heineken experience, the Heineken experience, excuse me,
tremendous to the Heineken experience. I really immersed myself in
the law of Heineken and the family Freddie Heineken and
his dad and his granddad whose names escaped me.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Immersed yourself so much you can't remember.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
The immersed myself too much in the product. Afterwards, I
think I'll.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
Tell you what he loved, Freddy Hindeken. That's a dart.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Oh, oh my god, every photo of him.
Speaker 7 (27:31):
He loved a pole. He's always on the poles. Yeah,
he loved and he loved a pole.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
If I could just digress from the story for a moment,
because out the window, can you see the shirtless man
on roller skates just across the road.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
There he is.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
He's been going up and down this grass hill on
these roller skates.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
He looks sort of he's got a bit of a
forest gump vibe about him, and he is terrorizing the
cyclists that are just trying to get home from wherever,
that have been bombing down the hill.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (28:00):
Two words for you, them and I psilocybin truffles. I mean,
who goes down grass verges on? They roller blades, they
roller blades, a shirtless rollerbladers going here?
Speaker 5 (28:11):
He goes here, he goes again what appeared to be
hemp pants.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Of course, he's.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Crowning a real scene though. I mean there's a lot
of people standing around watching.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Is it a major intersection of bike lanes? There is
the family stopped as a family of two kids in
the tray at the front that're surrounded by about four
other families. A mate he's got his hands on his
hips and white shirt. Forest Gump is bombing a head
directly in front of He's got a sign. He's gotta sign.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
Now.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
What could possibly be on the sign?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
It's a pizza box.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Oh no, he's going to use it as a ramp.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Oh so he's found himself a ramp. Well, now here
comes another one. There's three of them now, Jesus on
roller blades.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
I mean he's not young. What's he trying to probably
in what fifties? Is he trying to get a roll
on down the hill using the pizza? He's more of them.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
That's a posse of rollerbladers.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
It's about three of them.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
What what's the clicked if?
Speaker 7 (29:00):
Now?
Speaker 6 (29:00):
And for a group of roller bays a pussy of
rollerblade I don't know what they're doing anyway.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
So we get with the Amsdam tour. What a tremendous
tour it is as well. There's a good mixture of
like you actually get to see the inner workings of
a massive brewery and it is massive. And then also
like real hard out visual trippy visuals and like.
Speaker 6 (29:25):
Led screens, music, like the whole immersive sensual experience.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
They send you through as if you are the Bali
and they brew you in one room, yes, and then
they send you through to the next room and they
bottle you, and then the next room after that they
distribute you around the world.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
There's quite a lot.
Speaker 7 (29:43):
You know you're in Amsterdam when the person who's taking
the tourist says to you, now, we're about to go
into the immersive experience. If you've been sampling any of
the things that are around Amsterdam, not just I'm not
talking about alcohol here, any of the other things like adalics,
one of the other legal things. This could either be
the best or the worst experience of your life. So
I'm not judging you what you said, but just let
me off. You're in that situation, and I'll sort of
(30:05):
hold your hand and help you throw I mean, who
says that on a tour Who who even points that out?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
I know it was great as well. They said, oh,
if you're claustrophobic. Just let us know. You'll be fine,
but please let us know how.
Speaker 6 (30:17):
My favorite part was after that immersive stuff was the
pest drinking hyper room. So they once you're in a bedroom,
they separated everyone into five little rooms yes, and you
sat down and they basically recreated a island beach scene
with dance music and a party and lasers and good
looking people. And then the other door opened and there
was a whole lot of people holding beers. So by
(30:38):
the end of it, you're like whoa, and then like, fuck,
I feel like a beer.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Then like opens up and there's just a whole room
beers and you're.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Like, yes, yeah, there was good.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
They force feed you a beer.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Then you go through into another room, which I actually
think we'll get to at the end of this. You
can customize a beer bottle. We'll get to that. But
then you get sped out into the bar and then
you get given a bunch of tokens and stuff. So
you're at the bar. You just it's basically free beers.
It is what you think it's going to be when
you go into the Heineken Factory tour. That was awesome,
(31:08):
but we did customize a few beer bottles. Yes, they
gave you the option you can write whatever you want
into the little touch screen in front of it.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Wow, well a reason you.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Can't generally when you write things into a screen like that.
I sort of thought that they would screen it for profanity.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
But so I thought, let's just have a crack here.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I couldn't really think of what to write, so I
just wrote sixty nine dog shit.
Speaker 6 (31:35):
Okay, okay, just to back it up, I put Lovely twenty,
Jeremy had minute piece and Joe Jury did sixy camel
So you know, we were we were just looking for
just a bit of play in terms of a nice name. You,
on the other hand, coming in about five minutes.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
After us, by myself, by yourself.
Speaker 5 (31:55):
Went to the computer type ten sixty nine.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I thought, I was like, it'll get it'll get banned,
you know, it'll be you can't put this because of profanity.
And then when it didn't, it printed me a receipts.
So take this to the gift shops. Fuck right, Okay,
Well let's figure this out, have we. I think we've
talked about where sixty hund dogshit came from on the podcast.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
We had a long time ago long time.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Ago, but it was a one of the children was
asked to compile a line out call that had to
be comprised of a number and an animal.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
The middle of the lineout.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
As you mession, Jerry, the apple does not fall far
from the tree because he came straight out with six
and hind dog shit. Which if you're playing against the
team and they call sex and hind dog shit in
the lineout and you're twelve years old.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
You do not contest that.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
You just go, let's see what. Let's see how this
plays out. What could sex ahind dog shit possibly? So
that stuck in my mind. Obviously there was the rolling
in dog shit shit the day before. So I come
out and we get to the gift shop. You guys
will go up and get your poddles, and it's like
lovely trendy city camel and I was like, oh, I
must read the room. And I hit up to the front.
(33:05):
You're all standing around me, and she goes, oh, sorry,
there's been an issue with your thing. We can't we
can't have it for afanity.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
She's reading.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It just sixty nine dog shit.
Speaker 7 (33:18):
And so you were like, she said, would you like
to change it? And you said, what about sexty nine
dog poop? She said, no, no, you had an opportunity
to come claim with something. And you're like, you went
back to the well again with dog poop doubled down.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
She's like, no, that's because that was what happened in
the rugby can.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
Because when when my son called sixty nine dog shit,
he got pulled up by the coach.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
He said, you can't swear. He said sixty nine dog poop,
So that was what It's.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
An animal and a number, it's not dog poo.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
I thought, if it's good enough for the couch of
the under twelves and second Bernu, it's good enough for
the woman at the Heineken experience, but evidently it was not,
and I was frozen at that point.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I was like, I don't know nothing else.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
What did you go for?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Well? I went with thanks mate. She's actually quite lame,
but so much brit because by this stage the whole
group and caught up with me. There's about thirteen people
watching me apologize to this woman take six and nine
dog shit face.
Speaker 7 (34:22):
Just to receive their bottles, and then you got sent
to the side.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
You got to reprinted, and she brought it out the
person brought it out and just said what the hell
is this? And the lady behind the count and said, oh, sorry,
just give it to me, and she brought it over.
She's like, is this been it? And I was like, wow, really,
but yeah, I'll take it. So anyway, I have a
customed mine can bottle with thanks mate written on it.
And if you think that's a bit lame, I tried
(34:50):
six and nine.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Dog shit.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
I tried it straight off the back of that and
a huge shout out to export. He brought us over here.
They kill it planning. We can walk straight out of there,
across the road onto a boat into hen to a
Heineken boat, and the tour of the canals was just
InCred I mean, I'm sure anyone has been to Amsterdam
has done that.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Before, but man, it's good, so good.
Speaker 7 (35:14):
And we're on a boat, like a big barge that
you can drink on. The guy was like you can,
you can, just don't lean over the side. That was
the only stand on the seat or stand on the seat,
so there was only two safety messages. Meanwhile, you know,
if you can drink a bottle of beers, like they're
not putting in plastic cups or anything.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Don't worry about that.
Speaker 7 (35:31):
And I had my arm over the side slightly because
I was kind of leaning on the side, and I
sort of pulled my arm and he goes, oh, no, no,
don't worry about that. You can have your arm over
the side like that, just don't dangle it. And then
I thought to myself, and you see these people cruising
behind their boats, and you can just hire a boat.
I think it's twenty five euros for like a couple
of hours. You hire a boat, motorized boat and bring
your beers, take away beers, chop them on the boat,
(35:53):
and you drive up and down the canals and it's hicnic. Yeah,
people just cruising around on these boats. It's such a
good time.
Speaker 5 (35:59):
And it was beautiful weather as well.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Some was out.
Speaker 5 (36:01):
It was twenty three degrees.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
We're get overtaken by the Black Pearl twice.
Speaker 5 (36:05):
They were stalking us to Black Pearl.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
They were.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
It was these two dudes. They were the most European
looking dudes you've ever seen. I reckon one of them
was definitely called Hans. They had the blonde here swept back.
They had a hater going. I was smoking on the
boat and they overtook us twice, once in this little
canal and then once in a much bigger canal. And
every time they came past, I had the parts of
the Caribbean theme song that think that.
Speaker 7 (36:30):
Classic Amsterdam, it's that thing. They had the pestle polos going. Yeah,
they were loving that analogue Dart and yeah, I mean
Amsterdam goodness meet. Definitely the best people in the world
come from this part of the world. Ah, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
They are the best of us.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
The tallest average height I think of the world. And
they're beautiful, all of them.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
It's so laid back and so just like, well, yeah,
just look after yourself, don't be a dick.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
And quiet is the thing I've noticed the most. Even
walking through central Amsterdam, you almost have to whisper to
the god.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
Next to you.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Yeah, they chill.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
The Dutch also just speaking to which not the Dutch.
Speaker 6 (37:05):
But as we left the Heineken factory, a big platoon
of males dressed as Mario carts came in and it
did remind me of the kind of twet fest that
goes on quite a lot in Amsterdam, with just big
groups of twats come for twat weekend and just behave
like twats, dressed like Twats and go for a full
(37:26):
twet off.
Speaker 5 (37:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (37:27):
Well, I was wondering whether we need to come back
at some stage maybe and have Tweatfest twenty five. We
bring it like twenty people over, ten people over and
just have a complete dressed up every day yep, and
you dressed up and you have different days, sweatfast and
then you just go out, get on the lash, hang out,
be a twet, come back to the hotel room whatever,
fly home, Because I mean, how good it is it
(37:48):
in Europe when you can just be a tweat for
three days in Absterdam tweet your way home.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
And also Twats.
Speaker 6 (37:54):
They just they just kind of we're not going to
pay you any special attention and we're not going to
do anything special. You're just dressed like a tweet. You
dress like a twenty guys dressed as Mario.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Going behineken do it and full Mario costumes and it's
like fall to Weetfest.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
But no one even goes blinks and aile comments. They
just kind of Eyrode just carries on sw I reckon.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
We should bring a two of twet.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I think we're gonna have to go twet Fest twenty five.
All right, we have just about to bounce, but I
think yeah, just after that Canal tour, we saw a
tweet fest.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
We came back here. We're regrouping a little bit.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
We brought a bit of room service up, a delightful
margarita pizza, some chips, and I'd like to give a
massive shout out to the person who brought them up
for us. Thor thought he's a great New Zealander.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
Thor was a lovely guy, wasn't he.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
He runs a great operation.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
He is smooth and efficient on time's discreet. Yes, he's
not going to tell everyone that you're eating margarita pizzas
in your room.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
He's not going to judge you for having five empty
beer bottles and what seems to be some recording.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
He's not going to ask about it.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Big shout out for Thor.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
And when he asked about the recording equipment, we said, oh,
we do a podcast. He followed us then and there,
so Thor, if you've made it through the podcast, great gratulation.
I dare say we won't be seeing Thor again after
hearing about what we've been up to in the last
twenty four hours. But I did just want to give
Thor a massive shout out.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
I'm glad you remember that.
Speaker 6 (39:19):
But also tomorrow morning we are headed to Octoberfest.
Speaker 7 (39:24):
Yeah, that's right, early, first thing in the morning, six
o'clock call time.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
First item on the agenda tomorrow morning, a tomorrow afternoon
when we land in Munich.
Speaker 6 (39:32):
Leader Hosen absolutely full, leader Hosen full felt hat. I'm
going the whole hog.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Yeah absolutely, I'm assimilating. Yeah, I want to become German. Yeah,
you look very Germany.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
I do, don't.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
I I think Germany's quite dark in the Bavaria.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
I've heard.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
All right, let's knock this thing on the head. Thank
you very much for.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agender podcast, brought to
you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow
on iHeartRadio. Well of you get your podcasts
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