I CUSSED OUT MY WEDDING PLANNER

In tonight’s episode of Crystal’s Nightcap let’s finally review Justin Bieber’s SWAG, I wrote my wedding vows, how tf am I cutting down our wedding guest list?, should we actually have a bridal shower, I cuss out my wedding planner, and MORE! 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Terry, beautiful lip a loo whacker. It's a Crystal
sas back with another episode of a Crystal's Nightcap. Let's
finally review Justin Bieber's swag. I wrote my wedding vowels.
How the heck am I cutting down our wedding guest list?
Should we actually have a bridal shower? I cuss out
my wedding planner and more. It's a total wedding takeover episode.

(00:21):
Hope you enjoy sit bag Relax. It's Crystal's Nightcap, Miammie.
Is that what our Cubans say? Yeah, of course they
say it. We say whatever we want. Happy, whatever day

(00:43):
it is. Thank you for hanging out. Another episode of
Crystal's Nightcap. I like doing these because I sometimes will
record before work, and especially if I already have a
little caffesetho in me, I'm just ready to get to
it and to blab and to get all up in
the crevices. So I just want to say thank you
so much. Another week hanging out. I know it's up

(01:04):
and down in the summertime, I be traveling, family be
coming in. I'm trying to prioritize whatever I can. I
know you are very important. To me, so I want
to make sure that I get a chit chat with
you before things get too crazy for wedding season. So
hope you've had a great week. I've been living my
best life. I've been getting some burned like a lobster,

(01:25):
and I'm excited to tell you all about it in
this week's episode of Crystal's Nightcap. So if you have
not subscribed, please subscribe share the pot of their friends
if you're really liking it. We're live in New York
City on Z one hundred Money through Friday two to
six pm. We are on multiple stations across the country
with the new hit list every single weeknights eleven to midnight.
I'm most likely on your top forty station every night there,

(01:48):
so check that out. And I'm on weekends. People forget
I'm still on Wild Money for nine. I get so
many messages, DMS chats. I miss you at Wild I
miss you on Wild Girl. I'm there. I did not leave,
I would not abandon you. I'm still on Wild Day
for nine every single Saturday from three to seven pm,
So hang out with me your Saturday afternoon that I'm in.

(02:09):
I just want to say thank you again and We're
gonna get into it. This is what's going on in
my life, my crevices, the deep, deep trenches. We're getting
into Crystal's cave. Hello, who's in here? It's so dark? Ew?
What's dripping? You have to step on something something? You're

(02:29):
now inside Crystal's cave. Cave. We need to talk about
Justin Bieber and Swag. I have not talked to you
since the Wag dropped, and it all right. So I
am a believer. I do love Justin Bieber. You rarely

(02:50):
hear me slander him because I just feel like he
has given himself and his life to us, the believers
and the fans, and after some time, you know, even
though things have gone up and down, he is a
human being. He is a human being that has decided

(03:10):
to be a husband, be a dad, devote his life
to God. He is an unproblematic king in my opinion.
In the past few years he has been laying low.
Not only that, on top of it, this man has
lime disease. This man has been scrutinized more than anyone
in the entire planet. And I've never given any Justin

(03:33):
Bieber slander the years here being in New York, City.
I cannot talk about the past like I don't know
a girler's over seven hundred episodes of Crystal's My cap.
I don't know what I said in the past about
Justin Bieber. But all I know is that the the
outwardly thinking, introspective me knows that Justin Bieber is just

(03:56):
out here delivering for us whenever he does. And I
know that you might have your opinions, but here is
what's been happening the past few years. It has been
up and down with Hailey Bieber. There's been slander on
Selena Gomez. There's been slander on Haley Bieber. There's been
a slander on Justin Bieber. And I'm just like, can
we give it a break? Can we give Selena Gomez
and Haley Bieber a flip and break? If to those

(04:20):
people that are still in the comments sounding off, just
grow up, Please grow up. These are thirty year olds
and we don't need to be talking about relationships from
our teens in our thirties in the sense of having
vengeance or feelings, especially when you've already moved on, especially
when one party's engaged, one party already has a child

(04:41):
like give it a rest also Justin Bieber's apparel. Some
people have a problem with the fact that Justin Bieber,
multimillionaire or the biggest pop star in the world, wants
to wear sweats all the time. I want to wear
swets all the time if it's not an event, even
if it is an event for him, he can wear sweats.
Can we remember? This man has lime disease, all right?

(05:05):
And this hits close to home because we all know
someone very special close to us that has passed away
from lime disease. So we don't know what is going on.
And I'm talking about rest in Paradise to JV. So
I'm talking about Justin Bieber that is still out in
the streets and still dealing with this every single day
in his own capacity and never complains about it, keeps

(05:26):
it all internally and who knows how clothes fit not
only fit him, but feel on him. So if he
wants to wear basketball shorts and jeans that are sagging
to the floor at one of his listening parties and
they happen to fall off, and then so be it.
If he wants to come support his wife at a

(05:46):
makeup road pop up and she's in a cute, sexy
little dress, and he wants to wear sweats and sunglasses
and a sloppy beanie. Let him. He's justin Bieber. If
he wants to drop us as album and put billboards everywhere,
we can speculate. We can think of what is gonna
go on here. If he wants to post photos or
videos of him puffing on the good old Devil's lettice,

(06:09):
that is that is legal. It's legal. Mind you let him.
We are not cutting for Bieber anymore. Give it a rest.
Perfect timing producer Alyssa High Queen. Hey, Pod, I'm welcome.
Have you hung out with us before? No? Oh my gosh, fun. Yes,
I'm proud. She's been killing it. Well, welcome to the crevice.

(06:33):
This is Crystal's cave. This is my crevices where we
hang out and love the crevices. I know my crevices
are sweaty right now.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I just want to work. It is a mile and
a half, it is hot. It's supposed to flood tonight
all of the tri state.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Did you know that? No, I didn't bring a umbrella. Well, yeah,
you're gonna have to use that backup. What is that?
Like a peey Herman yeah, I stole that one from
a Peninsula hotel and it's just it's my backup hotel,
I mean a backup umbrella. Yes, swamp asses among us all,
so no judgment. But we're talking about a swag, a
swag summer so good. I know your thoughts.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
It's well, I just watched a TikTok actually this morning
where they're saying twenty sixteen is back because Kylie Jenner
she posted her lip kits that she just brought back
to life.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's the blue lip.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
Do you remember when it was blue lip?

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Kylie blue lip, blue hair, blue sole to. You have
to watch that video.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
And raspberry syrup is back at Starbucks, so it's hot.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
And candy frappuccino.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
You can order it vanilla bean frapp at the raspberry syrup.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
And it's gonna be twenty sixteen again. Wow. And no,
and Beieber too, justin Bieber's Wow, you look at that look.
I always learned something new from Phnezuel Eliza. Thank you, queen.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, well, I hope you guys enjoy her beautiful voice
that he serenade you.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yes, I'm trying you guys me, but it's all about
Justin Bieber and his voice, Yes swag. So I'm talking
about how we just are gonna lay off of the
hate with Haley and and Selena and all those things.
Then I was so excited when so I was going
to drop. We got a whole Instagram re brand, we
got a name change, we got Lil Bieber in the house,
which I love. I need. I need to shine some

(08:10):
light on my rap alternative that it. It only got
so far as the Instagram handle. I never really fully
embraced Little Clitti. Now let's let's throw it back real quick.
This is This was Little Dicky era, and I actually
did one of Little Dicky's first radio interviews. You probably

(08:31):
don't remember, but there are photo proofs. I don't think
there's a video. There might be, it might be stolen
Waldnyvena somewhere. But yes, Lil Dickie was my biggest inspiration
and I wanted to be like I had this idea
of being like a woman weird al a woman little
Dickie and what other name than Lil Klitti. So I
still have the Instagram handle Little Clitti. There's no photo,

(08:54):
there's no pictures or anything like that. But people are
always trying to log into that. People are always trying
to take that username from me, and I was like, no,
that's that's mine, Like that is my secret right there.
So when I saw that Justin Bieber changed his Instagram
handle to Lil Bieber, I'm like, oh my gosh, girl,
are we gonna get a rap album from Justin? Who knows?

(09:16):
And mind you, he was posting, you know, a lot
on ig. He was posting hell of photo dumps, He
was posting this that, he was posting some photo covers
and all those things. People thought he was going through
a crisis, and I was just thinking, who knows, he's
probably dropping music because he really doesn't post a lot
when he doesn't drop a project, because why would he

(09:36):
Why does he have to? He's Justin Bieber. So I
did assume that with all this Instagram shenanigans, he was
going to be dropping a project. I was even spreading
rumors on air that he might be dropping a rap album.
And then it was just coincidentally that Swag was going
to drop an album Thursday night, and then Friday morning,
my Prima aka my Maid of Honor, my good ol

(10:00):
cousin Gavi was coming in that morning from California, and
I just missed her so much, and we haven't had
like a summer yet here together, so this is gonna
be our our week to summer here in New York
City together. So there was just so much excitement running
through my body. I needed to stay awake for Swag,
so I had the bright idea of drinking a cup
of coffee at eleven PM so that I could stay awake.

(10:21):
Me and Zaddi were on FaceTime together Swag dropped. We
started listening to it together and the first opening song,
I Mean You Girl All I Could Take? I started crying,
real actual tears. I started crying because it just sounded
so beautiful. And then we're hearing it and it's like

(10:41):
a love track, and then we get into Daisy's and
it's just another love track, and I'm crying again, and
then you kN and I'm crying again, and I'm on TikTok.
I'm like, you wanted to leave Baber alone. Look what
he's doing. Go baby, go baby go. He has he
has my queens read sexy sweet spot. You know me?

(11:03):
You know me, girl, Like there is still that ninety
nine percent of ratchet in me and when I heard
sweet Spot, I was just like, this is my song,
this is my song of the album. So I was crying.
I was so happy, I was so excited. It was
just so beautiful to me. It gives us nostalgia, gives

(11:24):
us kind of like oldie rmb's those synths, but still
bringing it to the modern, very like vacation esque calm.
It's a calm album. It's it's it's a it's very
seamless the song. Some people say that some of the
songs sound similar, and some of them do, but his voice,
the pitches that he interchanges in there, Wow. I am biased, right,

(11:51):
I am a believer, but I was just beyond floored
at the fact that this man, amongst all the scrutiny,
amongst all the rumors. I wanted to hear what is
Justin Bieber as a father, as a husband, going to
deliver to us my wedding year right, because this is
all about me, like the world of wolves around me. Yo,

(12:13):
he gave us a freaking love album and we didn't
know what we're gonna get. I wanted to hear what
he thought about this and that, and he gave us
a complete devotional album and it's what we deserve. It
just goes to show how much work he has put
into himself, how perfect Haley is for him, how fatherhood

(12:38):
has made him reflect on being, if anything, still the
best husband in the world and now like the best
you know for if this is a love album pretty
much just to Haley, imagine his love album to Little
Jack Blue. Right, Oh, that's going to be incredible. And
he's been through so much, we as believers have been
through so much with him. We're in difficult times right now.

(12:59):
We are all broke, we're all working so hard, we're
all tired. It feels like the world is falling apart
every which way. And we need to see our king,
our king of our generation of pop, just being devotionally
in love and proud to the world with his wife.
This is what the youth needs. This is what we

(13:21):
ladies need to hear. This is what guys need to hear.
This is what our little girls and little boys need
to hear. Seeing the biggest pop star of our time
just in love and this is where he is and
sharing it and it was just so beautiful. And after
that couple of cofee girl, I could not sleep. I

(13:41):
could not sleep after all of the endoor friends from
like leading up to swag from me getting excited because
my by my Gaby was showing up to me being
awake on a cup of coffee, I wrote my vote,
my vose, I wrote my vows. I wrote my vows
at probably four four or five in the morning, and

(14:04):
their perfection, I think I still need to go through
them a little bit. One rule that means Zaddy made
is that we are not going to use chatgypt to
write our vowels because we've been to a few weddings
and we could definitely tell which one of our cousins
have been using chatchept to write their vowels. They're beautiful,
they're amazing, but we could tell. So we said, you know,
we're not gonna use chatchepete. So I wrote my vows

(14:25):
from scratch. I started off obviously, I'm not going to
read them too. Maybe down the line I'll read them too,
I don't know. I'll have to talk to Zaddy about that.
I'm sure he would love it. I'm sure he would
be okay with it. But it starts off with me
telling him why I decided to write the vowels. So
just like exploring him and what he's gone through and
me and like what I've kind of gone through, and

(14:46):
like what I really wanted to see standing at the
at the aisle, and then just kind of a love
poem to him and our son about just why why
I need to write these vowels, And then I get
into you know, because of all this and so much more,
I'm making these promises to you. So then I write, yeah,
I just go down, I do, I do a little

(15:07):
bit in Spanish, and then I do like a little
prayer at the end, and my vowels are written, and
I haven't completely read them through much After that, I
did run it through Chatchypta because I feel like some
of the phrases that I was writing don't really make sense,
aren't hitting like I want it to. So so I
told Chatchipata, can you make this make a little more sense?

(15:27):
So some things it changed, and some of those changes
I kept, some of them, most of them I didn't.
But yeah, girl, our vowels are written, so we are
getting to it. We are getting to it. And then
the next morning, my Prima Gaby pulls up and well,
it is that morning. It's literally that hour. My Prima

(15:49):
pulls up. I have not slept for almost like twenty hours,
and I had huge news for her that she's my
mate of honor. Yes, yes, yes, I don't have a
wedding core. I don't know if I've shared with you before,
but I have so many close girlfriends and family members
and thinking of like not raiding them, but pulling in

(16:12):
who I want to be part of my wedding. It
just I would have a twenty five woman thick wedding court,
and I just I didn't want all that. I know
Zaddi on his end, he has a much smaller circle,
so it would look very odd me having twenty girls
stand up there and him have like just his best
man and immediate family. So I am not doing a

(16:33):
wedding core, which is rough, but I am having some
of my girls get ready with me, and I'm having
some of my girls come for you know, do special
things for the bridal shower, do special things for the
bachelorette and stuff like that, which at first I was like,
I don't need to have any of that stuff. I
don't want this, I don't want that. But then my
mom Sandrita, you know how she is, you know, the
queen are Chris jenner Son that. I was like, Mia,

(16:56):
are you sure you don't want a bridle shower? You're
my only daughter? Like, I really want to do something
for you. I was that would be fun. I'm like, Mom,
I'm already so whirldwind with the wedding and trying to
just live as I'm planning this wedding so far from you, guys,
I don't have the capacity to plan a bridle shower.
She said, I'll do it. I'll do everything for it.
So I went from zero to five hundred. I mean,

(17:17):
this woman plant girl. She booked as Hall, and she
booked this, she booked that, she booked that, she booked that.
So very blessed. We are having a bridal shower that
is going to be bigger and fatter than my actual
wedding thanks to that. Literally, like it is actually going
to be crazier than my wedding. So I'm so so

(17:39):
so so so blessed and excited and thankful. So my
mom is doing that, and my mad honor got it. Yeah.
So I put a little basket together for her of
little gifts and things that she loved, and a little
note that said, you know, we've traveled the like since
we were babies. We've traveled the world together because her
family is who my family would travel with. Like. We've

(17:59):
traveled to Lorded together, We've traveled to l A, road
trips together of Vegas countless times when we were little babies,
like we're little kids, and then as we were growing up, Hey,
it's her and I've gone to Dubai, Miami, everywhere we've traveled.
That's my travel buddy. And you know, I have so

(18:21):
many great, awesome, amazing, amazing, amazing women in my life.
I just I just she just she hits so special
to me. We've been family since we were babies, and
she's someone my gobby. She's someone that no matter what
we have each been through, she has always always stuck

(18:44):
with me. She is the most loyal person that I know.
She is such a cheerleader. She will be so real
with me. She will be so real with me. She
will tell me things are not a popular opinion. She
will stand up to what is right or wrong in

(19:05):
all the situations. But even if, like when it comes
to girl code, even if something's wrong, She'm like, I
don't really agree with that, but do you, queen? I'm
gonna be right here, you do that. She was the
best wingman when I was single. She has she has
done such inexplicable things when I was just in my ratchet,
reckless era. And you know, even in my growing relationship

(19:27):
with Zaddi, she has been there for me. She has
sat me down and told me honest things that were
sometimes even hard for me to hear, but I needed
to have her tell me. And it's just such a good, good, good,
good person. I've told her things I've never told anyone
in the world. She's opened up to me about things
that she's never toldes soul, and I can trust her

(19:47):
with everything in my life and with the adventures that
we've gone through in our life. I'm very honored that
she agreed to help me with this adventure to start
my own family. So I'm very very bless. She obviously
said yes, and she just was like, there's so much
to do. We did this this, Oh my gosh, oh
my gosh. She's just she's so ready, she's so helpful,

(20:08):
she's with it. She and my mom have just been
no no, no, no going off, going off, going off together,
group chats, not group chats. She's she's a good planner too,
like I can really rely on her. I feel like
I can rely on her, and I'm just so excited.
So the weekends that we had together here in NYC,
we're actually running around looking for a dresses for her,

(20:28):
made of honor dress, which was so hard to find.
Like she's just like, whatever you want to put me in,
put me in it, put me in a plastic bag,
whatever you want, Crystal. But I want her to look good.
I want her to f look confident. I want her
to be extra and nothing hit around here, girl, nothing hit.
But among the week that my Prima Gavi was here,
oh my gosh, did we have the biggest blowout with

(20:50):
little Sandvika Yo, My mom and I. It's so funny
because me and Zaddie are so dramatic, Like we're very
very dramatic. And my mother, she is our wedding coordinator
pretty much like she is type A. She gets done.

(21:10):
She is the queen like girl. She threw me a
galap for my King Senira when I turned fifteen, and
she she don't let none of us forget it. She says,
you're my only daughter, and I don't know if you
were gonna get married or not or what your circumstances
were when you're gonna get married. So I want to
throw you the biggest ball ever because I wanted you
to be the queen and you have this big old party.
I'm like, cool girl, she threw it at we. I

(21:32):
think I've shared this with you before. I'm so blessed
by the way, like abundantly blessed. Yeah, my parents saved
My mama and dad had saved my whole life for
my King Santa. So they had saved for fifteen years
for my King Sananda. So by that time, it's in
pleasant and I believe it's called Casa Reale and it
had just been opened. This on a like a winery

(21:54):
I think, or it's like yeah, yeah, it's a a winery.
And they had not even booked at Kings Nada yet.
They had only been booking weddings and so my mom
rented that thing out. Our entire family was there. It
was huge. We had like steak and lobster. It was
just it was crazy, like it was crazy and people

(22:15):
do not let me live that down. I mean they
and they were always saying, dang, if this is your kids, Nada,
I can't wait to see your wedding. I can't wait
to see your wedding. And I'm like, ah, girl, girl,
rent prices in twenty twenty five, we're in a recession
all the things, So yeah, this is not gonna be
that like and I'm and it is what it is.
I mean, you know, these are the circumstances at hand.

(22:38):
Number one, wedding inflation is just crazy. The economy is insane.
I don't live around my family. I live across the
country from them, So me and my man are paying
double rents in two of the most expensive cities in
the world. It's just a lot. So we are and

(22:58):
I've shared before, we're doing a wedding. Hey, but it's
a gorgeous backyard. I mean it's that's that's very saying
it very lightly. I mean where we're having it is,
it's beyond. But yeah, it's not at a salon. It's
we're not having a twelve person Mariacci. We're you know,
we're being realistic. I'm not hiring a thousand dollars makeup

(23:21):
and hair team. Well you know, but I'm still getting
everything that I really want. We can't invite our whole family.
Girl going through that guest list is just it was
heartbreaking to do. There's only so many people that actually
fit in the yard, so we have to be really
meticulous about the guests. Like I wish I could invite
some extended friends. I wish I could invite my family.

(23:42):
I can't even invite my family really, like a lot
of my family were I'm not inviting any of my theols,
which is so heartbreaking. My dad is one of eleven.
We can't invite any of the theols, you know, some
of the preemost from of my cousins. I'm only inviting
like one of the cousins out of the five siblings.
So it's it's hard. I'm not in what we can't
bring any kids. There's a there's a pool back there,

(24:03):
so it would be an issue with kids because it
would be a liability. So you know, there's there's no
kids and and things like that, so it's smaller. We're
doing it into my wedding. I'm still abundantly blessed. It
is still a wedding. Nonetheless, it has a lot of
moving parts and components. And my mom she was down

(24:25):
to help us coordinate whatever we needed, and so she's
been doing that and she's been she's been coming up
with these amazing cool ideas. Let's get clear umbrellas and
put them upside down in the pool with fishes in
the pool like goldfish. Let's hang flowers from the trees fless.

(24:46):
Maybe we can get a hot air balloon of you
guys coming down. I'm like some the budget. The budget.
My fiance just started his company last winter, so he's
in startup financial mode. We are not bringing in the
I am the breadwinner. So all of these ideas you have, Mom,

(25:07):
I love amazing, but I am doing the heavy lifting
of the financing because Honey's in in work mode right now.
He's in startup mode, and I know for some people
that might be a red flag for some Even even
if I heard my girl saying that, like, Sis, you're
doing what No, I mean, Zaddy's he's been putting equivalent amount.
It's not like that like he's savvy, he's he's cool

(25:31):
in that department. But these are just low tide times
because girls, he's a startup. He's in a startup, but
he wants to get married. I've sprinkled this into you before,
but before Zaddy had asked my parents for my hand
in marriage. He was under the assumption that this last

(25:51):
contract that just ended for me last year in November,
I was going to move back home. He was under
that assumption I was going to move back home, so
he had already asked my parents for their hand in marriage.
Right after that, my boss from San Francisco ended up
moving here to New York City, which changed a lot
of trajectory for me, because I did think I was

(26:12):
going to move back home if the circumstances were to
stay the same here in New York. But because I
had a lot of issues with my last contract and
my new boss knew about all those issues, he was
able to set me up for this new contract of
literally everything that I wanted, and that changed everything. So

(26:36):
now instead of me wanting to go back home, I
was like, oh my gosh, Like I have my own show,
have my producer, I'm making cool money, Like I can
can extend this. I could live here for a few
more years and Bay we can do long distance for
a little bit. And that was really really rough on Zaddi.
He did not want that at all. He had an

(26:58):
existential crisis of I don't know if this is what
I could do long distance like I just want you here.
I want you here so bad, And with a lot
of prayers, a lot of time, with a lot of convincing,
he agreed. He agreed that I would stay here in
New York for I think it's my contract is three

(27:18):
more years. And a condition for that was that he
wanted to be married. He didn't want us to be
engaged long distance, like if I'm going to be long distance,
he wants me to be his wife, like he doesn't
want any other uncertainties. So that's why that is why
we are like let's get married and among some other things.

(27:39):
But ultimately he's just like why do we have to wait?
Like why do we have to wait? Like I just
I need you my wife, like yesterday. Let's just get
it done so you know. And for me, I'm like duh,
like that's my husband, Like I want to marry him too.
So it just ended up happening that way. That that's
why we're deciding to just you know, pull the trigger
and get married now. So it's been a very quick
wrap around. You know, some people plan out their weddings one, two,

(28:03):
three years, were our timeline is not any We're close
to that, but it's not impossible. We're doing all the things,
and you know what, everything that we've been wanting has
been weirdly happening and locking in and my dream videographer
and the photographery we Love, and the DJ and the catering,
like everything has been falling into it. It's amazing place.
And it really trickled down to like can we send

(28:23):
these invitations? Can we make these invitations? So, girl, I
texted my invitations out? Yes I did. Me and him
crashed out for a whole day designing the actually two
days designing our invitations on Canva, and they actually came
out so beautiful, Like there was nothing that we liked
that was already pre made, so we found something that

(28:43):
was kind of in the ballpark and customized the colors,
the fonts, the everything, and we had even some of
our family. Thank you to my day, my Veddal that
helped a lot. Thank you to my girl Andrea, she
helped so much with the invites and she was even
giving me in spray and ideas. Obviously my mom had
her opinions too, So thank you everyone that helped with

(29:07):
the vision of our invitations and we just texted them out. Girl.
We were trying to do like the online, because I
was thinking, maybe maybe there's a way that we can
impour our guests online and then they can RCP there
because we've been part of weddings like that before, too. Girl, No,
like these it was even more complicated to try to
understand how to impoor a guest list into the website

(29:29):
than us just doing it ourselves. I was like, we're
for a day trying to figure out on these invite
websites how to do this thing, and we're just like,
this is done, like this is it was way too
much even try to get it there. And mind you,
my man is in tex So if even if something
is annoying and confusing to him, Like we were just like, okay,
this is too much. So we're just like we're going
to text our invites and we're going to be the

(29:50):
ones in charge of the RCPs. And I was just going,
I was like sending it. So we sent all our
invites over text message and we were quickly, I mean
especially my family, everyone was like yes, yes, yes, yeses
are coming in. The guesses are coming, and the guesses
are coming in so amazing, and you know we're waiting
a few weeks for the ones that weren't sure so

(30:12):
that we can hit our B list, which our B
list was literally only Selena and Graham. Almost everyone said yes.
Almost everyone that we invited said yes, and like, I mean,
we would We wanted everyone that we invited to go,
but you know, obviously, like I did want some people

(30:32):
there on the B list that maybe his family couldn't go,
so some of his family is only going to the
ceremony and not the actual reception. So I was able
to squeeze in Selena and Graham and their partners in there.
So they made the cut, and Graham was very offended.
He said, I want a paper copy. I know I'm
be list because you're texting is, but I want a

(30:53):
paper copy. I'm like a girl. We don't have paper copies.
We did not send these out to anyone. It's we
literally texted out our invitation is cringe or aw And
immediately him and Selena and then he was like, why
are we on the B list? Why couldn't they go?
I was like, oh, well, some of Zaddy's cousins like
they're going to a concert instead. He's like, oh, what concert?
That sounds more fun. So I was screaming laughing, but

(31:17):
they're coming, and I'm just so blessed that Selena and
Graham get to come, and you know that JV and
Natasha would have been there too, But you know how
it's in a backyard and quite frankly, some of the
yard is sloping, so some of you, so some of
you are going to be on the sloping tables, and
I'm sorry about it. That's just it is what it is.

(31:39):
I think I shared that we went around and looked
for some saloons at some salons, but saloniss but it
just it wasn't giving, Like it wasn't for the price, girl,
for like seventy people, they wanted sixty grand. And it's like, girl,
this is giving Sant Leandro Community Center, which I love,
and there's been weddings there too, Like I'd rather do
it there than at these crazy like oh gosh, it

(32:01):
was just it was a lot. So yeah, that's what
has been happening. Invitations out rzps all in. We are
locked in. So back to Sandrita. Now, Sandriita, as I mentioned,
she has been our wedding coordinator with these amazingly intricate

(32:22):
ideas which honestly like a lot of them hit ten
out of ten. One of her ideas, Okay, we're going
to get into the beef on why we have this
crazy beef. So one of her ideas, which I thought
is brilliant, is to have a whole bunch of like
lights lining the backyard, but like the top part, so

(32:42):
just like kind of string lights, not Christmas fies, but
nice bulbs on the top of the yard, kind of
like not an actual canopy, but making it look like
a canopy. I think you know exactly what I'm talking
about now. Lucky for us, my brother Junior and my
future brother in law, they are electricians and HVAC and
they are good with all the buildings of electrical things

(33:05):
and stuff like that. So my mom, unbeknownst to me,
I had no idea about this. She coordinated with them
and Zaddy and the property owner of us to event
to go over there to check out the lights and
check out how they're gonna set out the lights. So
I didn't know any of this. Me and my Primagavi
were out in Soho running around looking for her addresses,

(33:27):
just you know, turing my labooboo around Manhattan, and I
get a call from Zaddy and he's like, hey, honey, like,
did your mom say anything about like today, And I'm
just like, no, what's going on? She said, Oh, we're
gonna go mee at the yard to go with Junior
and our brother in law to go figure out the lights,
like how we want to set up these lights. And

(33:49):
I say, oh, no, like I didn't hear anything about it.
And she's like, okay, well, you know I'm not I
don't want to get you annoyed or anything, but like
Junior already said he's not going, and I'm like, okay,
you used to it. Like love my brother Junior, but
he's not always the most reliable. I'll say, he's not
always the most reliable. So there was that. So half

(34:14):
an hour goes by, forty five minutes and I get
a call from Zaddy and he's like, hey, babe, like
I think I just kind of left some stuff on
my chest, like I'm a little frustrated right now. I'm like, oh,
what's going on. He's like, well, you know, we're all
really busy. This is one of the few weekends I'm
here in the bay, and you know, your mom coordinated
this thing to have us come and do the lights here.

(34:35):
And figure out the lights. I don't know what's happening.
I don't know what's going on. I don't know how
to coordinate. But she's she's not coming, and I'm like what,
and she's like, He's like yeah, like she's she's just
not coming. I called her and it seemed like we
were supposed to meet at at noon. It's already one thirty.
I called her and looked like she was still at home,

(34:57):
and I told her, it's okay, you don't have to come,
like we can try to talk things out. I'm just
like oh, and he's like yeah, I just I don't know.
I mean I already expected Junior not to come, but
like your mom is the one that like literally coordinated this,
and we don't know what we're doing, and it's just
I'm just kind of frustrated, Like, you know, my brother
in law has a whole bunch of kids and took

(35:18):
time off from his side job to come, and we're
just kind of here, like not knowing what to do,
and it's just it's just a little frustrating. I don't
need you to call her. I don't need you to
braid her. I don't need you to call junior. I just,
I just I just need to get this off my chest.
I'm just like, you know, you know, this is what
they say, babe. I'm like, this is what they say
when you really see people's true colors. When it's your
wedding time. Why she coordinating thing? He's like, no, no, no,
don't get don't get mad, don't get mad. I'm like,

(35:39):
I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Okay, I'm sorry that this.
I don't even know what to say. I'm so disappointed.
I don't I don't like people wasting your time. Hunt.
I know that you, you know, have so much other
things going on with our business and other things I'm
asking to do for the wedding. Like, I'm just I'm
really sorry that this happened. And he's like, it's okay.
I just I wanted to vent to you. So he
hangs up and I immediately call Sandra and I just

(36:04):
I verbally brate her in a soul, which is not right.
It was not right, I say, mother, and she says yes.
I'm like, do you know that brother in law has
five kids and turn down a side job to meet
up with you right now? And you're at the house
on the couch and she said, okay, okay, And I said,

(36:25):
did you know that my future husband has limited weekends
in the bay and he's starting up a business and
he's doing other things like to help me with us
with the wedding, and he's over there. I'll don't the
waiting for you to not show up, and she said okay.
I was like, I love you and thank you very
much for everything you're doing for the wedding. But if
you're gonna set something up on your own and have
these grand ideas, at least you could do is follow

(36:46):
up and be there and not waste everyone's time. And
she said, okay, I hear you. You know what, I'm
gonna take a step back and I'm just gonna take
a step back and let you guys handle things from
now on for the wedding. And she hangs up on me, like, oh, then,
being my Gobby is there in the maid of honor
and she's like, why are you yelling at your mother?
I'm like, dude, why is she doing this? I expect

(37:09):
this from Junior. I know how Junior is. I actually
don't ask my brother to do anything because he never
follows through and he never shows up. For stuff with
the family. He only shows up for stuff with himself.
He can be very so we all have family with
this girl. We all have family problems. Now. My brother Junior,
he's an amazing brother. He really does pull up when
we need him for things. But there are just times,
and there has been a track record even as of
recent when I come all the way across the country

(37:31):
home for important things and he just doesn't show up,
Like he just doesn't show up, and it hurt. Honestly,
it's it's it's hurt, Like I get hurt because I
feel like I go so above and beyond for my family.
I go so above and beyond for my little soul
being able the duck. We help so much, and sometimes
you know he's just you know, he's he has his
own reasons. But I get hurt and disappointed, and you

(37:54):
know how family is, so nobody in our family is perfect.
He has his own reasons that are that he's not
here to defend himself. That's unfair that I'm I'm biasedly
on my this is my truth, this is my side,
and I know it's not fair that he's not here
to defend himself, but like that's just how it is
for things like that. So so I'm already bereading about
my brother Junior, and I'm like, you know, ultimately it's him.

(38:15):
I was like, if he showed up, my mom would
have been there. But she felt bout that he didn't
show up. That's why she didn't show up. And now
she's wasting, you know, my man's time. And so Goby's like,
that's your mother. She's been doing so much for you,
like you should not be talking to her like that.
Like Goby's like upset. I was like, yeah, but she
should be doing these things. And she's like, that's your mom,
It's okay. You know, she's probably been doing so many
things for you. I'm like, I don't know what she's

(38:35):
been doing. What she should have been there, she coordinated this.
So I blow up on her and I started going
off on her in text messages, which is like so unfair.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh
my god. I have to show you this, and I
actually feel kind of bad. I feel a little bad,
So I like send her a text, like somewhat kind

(38:57):
of an apology text, and and oh my god, it
goes a little back and forth. I say, oh, oh no, no,
actually I don't. I don't send her an apology text.
I say it would be nice for you and Junior
to call Zaddy and apologize for wasting their time. We
are more than thankful for your ideas, and you're welcome

(39:18):
and are welcome to all of them. But you making
these arrangements and not showing up when him and the
venue owner and our brother in law are trying to
make our vision work is very disrespectful. I know you
and your son take this lightly and don't think it's
a big deal, but that's not how family. That's not
how you raised me to treat our family. And then
she starts texting me about like how she coordinated it

(39:41):
with them and saying that like I told them twelve
thirty or one blah blah blah. Said then where are you?
I say, it's two pm and you're not there, And
she said, I got off the phone with Zaddy and
he said it's not necessary for me to go. I
asked him three times. I said, because you were at home.
Why would he want to inconvenience you over something you
set up? I would say, stay the heck home too,
if you don't want to help coordinate something you planned. Hello,

(40:03):
why would he even have to ask where you are?
And that's when she said, no worries, I'll take a
step back. It won't happen. It doesn't, it won't happen again.
I said, Wow, you're playing the victim over something you
did so admirable. You set this up, these were your ideas.
This is comical. And she said, I'm not playing the victim.
I'm just tired of you badgering me, so I'm gonna
stop now. My intention was to be there, and I
apologize several times and that was that for that. But

(40:29):
the an hour later I calmed down and I said,
I love you, mom. I know you do a lot.
I know you're not perfect. We are a little stressed
because we have a time crunch with this wedding and
Zaddy has limited weekends. And I know you had your
own reason of not showing up. That's okay, just moving forward.
If you volunteer to help out with something, please follow through.

(40:49):
We rather hire someone to do a job than have
the people that agree to help not show up. I
love you, And she didn't respond and she didn't talk
to me. Feel like the next like three days and
then she sends me and my little brother a stem On,
which is all of funny. She sends me in a
steve On girl. When I tell you, I can scroll

(41:10):
for days like a Torah scroll of the receipts and
text messages that she sent, she said, Crystal, oh because
me and my okay, And then and then apparently some
that I was super, super sad and like my dad
has been with her like twenty four to seven NonStop

(41:31):
for and my dad was texting me back and forth.
And I'm just like going off on my dad about it.
I'm just like she blew it off to just be
on the couch and watch TV like no, no, no, like,
and she lied to Zaddie about why she didn't show up.
No no, no nah. And she sent me a text message, Crystal,
you told your dad I was a liar. I was
working on your shower that day from six am to

(41:55):
one fifty pm straight without breakfast. The following texts are
a timeline of my morning and is Stevan saw my
little brother, and Stefan saw the phone calls and all
the texts. He was also in the group chat that
I had on going on with your brother Junior at
the same time, because you were badgering me about not going.

(42:16):
I was only going to be twenty minutes late. And
then you accused me of going to Walnut Creek shopping
because after that whole fandanm go, I saw her location
and they saw that she was a Wannut Creek and
I was like, I took Poppy. I was like, she'd
rather go shopping to Walnut Creek than to follow through
with plans for our wedding that we have. She said,

(42:36):
you accused me of going to Walnut Creek shopping. I
was with a minor bought the Habit Burger for two
hours talking because I have not taken them out anywhere
this week. Because I was getting the hall and everything,
and the bartender is ready for you, she says, because
my poor weddythos they I'm like literally getting I'm getting
like lightheaded right now. I need I need a drink

(42:57):
of water. I need water, hold on, she said. And
then after I stopped answering your abusive calls, you accuse
me to go shopping. I never even went shopping, and
if I did, so what I was ready to walk
out the door when Zaddy called me and he told

(43:17):
me it was not necessary for me to go anymore.
Here's a timeline. At seven thirty am, my first text
was suyr Nin at Chalita, with the following thirty nine
text messages. I was going back and forth with people,
answering numerous phone calls with questions like dress codes for
the party registery gifts, et cetera. My last text was

(43:37):
at one ten. My last phone calls Thierna at twelve
twelve pm. At twelve fifty I called you or to
see what time he was going to the venue, and
then all hell broke loose on me between him and Junior,
badgering texts and phone calls, and on top of it,
you call me a liar to cover up not showing
up to the venue. Nope, wes Wow. Thank you Sevan

(43:58):
for calling to see how I was after you've seen
me and Junior and I fighting texts all day, and
thank you for letting me vent and seeing everything I
was doing all morning for my only daughter. Yo. She
sends me eighty five text messages, screenshots, phone calls, screenshots,
and she says in all caps, do not call me
a liar. Estevan. This is what I sent to Robert

(44:19):
and brother in law. And venue owner. The only one
that responded was the venue owner. Zaddi and in law
probably ignored my text because Crystal said that I was
lying to them to cover something up. Here's what I
sent to them, and again it was not a lie,
mind you. Zaddy and brother in law didn't respond because
they were just busy doing other stuff. They weren't matter

(44:40):
like annoyed at her, like they just like they don't
they like just don't respond to text she sent to them.
I apologize for wasting your time today. I was running
about twenty minutes late because there was some confusion about
the Bartle shower invitations. I found out yesterday that half
the ladies didn't even get them. I sent them out
this morning and I was just on calls and texts.
It was my fault. I didn't get ready in time

(45:00):
to be there at one. When Zaddy called me, we
were leaving the house, but he said it wasn't necessary
for us to go anymore because he was going to
try to figure out the lights. I really apologize. So
after she sent all that, I mean, I was so sad,
like I felt really bad. I did, like I jumped
the gun. I should have heard her out I shouldn't
have been just so I shouldn't have and this was

(45:21):
a good learning a learning curve for me, Like you know,
when when people hurt the people I love, I get her.
So like I just me and Zaddy didn't know why
something that was late or like you know, saying that
she wasn't going to show up or whatever the things
or agreed to not showing up. Not saying she wasn't
going to show up. She was going to show up.

(45:44):
I was just I was way too impulsive and angry
and I should have calmed down before I called my mom.
And like this is a huge, huge learning point for
me because I really do apologize, like she she did
not deserve that because she was already doing so much
and I should I skipped, I walked, irain, I jumped
and flew into conclusions and I shouldn't have done that.

(46:06):
So I said, I hear you, mommy, Yes this makes sense.
I thought you were on the couch watching Raquel Cook
on YouTube all morning. That's what she loves to do.
She loves to watch Raquel on YouTube cook. That's that's
my mom's Miss Rachel is Raquel. I said, I thought
you were on the couch watching Raquel Cook on YouTube
all morning and I just decided, and then you just

(46:27):
decided not to show because of Junior. So I was
very hurt. Thank you for clearing this up. I'm sorry
for badgering you. I was hurt, but it looks like
a misunderstanding. Thank you for everything you're doing for the wedding.
I did not tell Zaddy or brother in law that
you lied. I just told them that I didn't know
why you didn't go, and that's it. They are not
mad or annoyed. Zaddi already assumed Junior would flake. He

(46:50):
just didn't want to bother you. If you already were
not on your way, it's fine with them. They're onnor worries.
And she didn't respond to that, and she didn't talk
to me for like another day or two. And she's
talking to Zaddi like she's talking to Zaddy about wedding stuff,
like through me, he is the liaison. She's texting my
maid of honor and calling the maid of honor Gavi
about things that I need to be figuring out for
the wedding instead of me. So she's been ignoring me,

(47:12):
but one day randomly she sends me a TikTok she
sends me. Her and I love languages and we just
send each other TikTok like that's how we communicate. So
she sent me a TikTok and I call her and
I'm like, Mom, like, are you still mad at me?
Like do you hate me still? Because you sent me
that TikTok? And she said, oh, I forgot that I

(47:32):
was mad at you and that I hated you. And
I was like, oh, okay, and then we started laughing,
and then beef over beef done. My mom and I
never argue. We we it's well okay back in the day, yes,
I mean, if you've been there for my intern days, obviously,
but we don't ever argue. We talk every single day,
we call each other every single day. We never argue.
I think that was the longest time in a long

(47:54):
time that we haven't specifically spoken. And it was my fault.
It was completely my fault. I feel bad. I apologize.
I really was the worst daughter in the world in
that moment, and she did not deserve that. I feel
so bad. And my dad kept texting me, like, your

(48:15):
mom's so sad. I've never seen her so sad. You
need to apologize and I just kept I was so
angry that I kept reading him too over her. And
it all stems back to my brother Junior. If my
brother wasn't like this, And you know what, it's coming
back to him too. It's coming back to him because
he is in a beautiful relationship, a brand new situationship

(48:38):
right now. He's from according to the family, he's so
happy and so in love, and he's been fishing for
a plus one. And guess who has the golden ticket
that Willie want a ticket to a plus one? Me?
And guess who's been saying you don't deserve it? And
my mom has been like, you know, he really should
get it. I'm like, he doesn't deserve it. He can't

(48:59):
even show up to things for the family that are
important to me. He can't show up for things for
me and my wedding. They are important to me because
of this new relationship. And I just don't think it's
appropriate for me to meet his new thing on my
wedding day. So he's not getting a plus one. I'm
gonna go full bride Zylla mode now. Secretly he is

(49:20):
going to get a plus one. I'm just making him
squirm a little bit, But yes, I am gonna invite her,
even if it's the day that I meet her on
my wedding. It doesn't matter. Like my brother Junior, he
will get a plus one. He does deserve, he does
deserve to have, you know, a partner at my wedding.
It's I know, when you're dating someone, it's really fun
to bring a wedding like someone a plus one to
a wedding. When Zadie and I first started dating and

(49:42):
my all my cousins were getting married, I was asking
them if he could come, even if they've never met
him and all the things, and they were so sweet
to me, almost all of all of them let me
bring him. And of course my brother Junior is going
to get a plus one, but I'm still making him squirm,
and to him and to the whole family, it's still ano.

(50:03):
But yeah, that's what's been going on. That was a
huge blowout with poor little Sanrita. She did not deserve that,
and I'm sorry, Mammy, I love you. So that's where
we are with wedding planning. I hope you enjoyed. I
hope you liked this episode. There's been so much going
on other than wedding planning. Obviously, I'm gonna I have

(50:23):
to get to like the cold plate concert of it all.
We went to Miami, all these other things. I'll save
that for the next episode, hopefully. But I'm just so
abundantly blessed. I'm so thankful for everyone you know that's
been supporting and helping this. Like you know, I'm heartbroken
for the family that can't make it, because there's people
that have been making plans for months a year and

(50:46):
they can't make the wedding because our invitations just came
out a little late. And I know if it was
up to them and all the circumstances, they would totally
make it. But there are extreme circumstances that some can't
and it is what it is. But I know they're
going to celebrate us in other way, and I'm blessed
for that too. So we are up in running. We

(51:06):
have an awesome pastor who is gonna marry us, which
I'm so blessed, and we've been having marriage counseling with
him and it's been so great, and I'm very blessed that.
I don't know if I shared this already with you,
but some of the questions are things that he's been
having us explore in our marriage counseling. We've already talked
about and we've already breezed over some things. I think

(51:27):
we needed a little more chatter and in depth with that,
and we've been getting there, which is great. I got
a whole bunch of wedding counseling books and we've been
going through them. I got this one, really awesome book.
It's like one hundred and one questions before you Tie
the knot, and they're really awesome, awesome prompts, and there
hasn't been anything alarming or crazy that we've needed to

(51:47):
settle or deal with before. I think the hardest stuff
that we've been having to maneuver we already talked through
and got through. And that's when we had gotten engaged
around our engagement era. Like our for the first few
months of our engagement, especially over winter break, was those heaviest,
heaviest questions. But actually we've already settled all of those,

(52:09):
so now we are a okay and it's just upward
and onward from there. So we are going to wrap
up now with our daily motivator. This one is called
get It Done. You Ready Okay, do what you have
to do. Just go ahead and get it done. Though
you're not looking forward to it, you'll get through it.
Though it's not your ideal activity, it's not the end

(52:30):
of the world. Think of how great you'll feel to
have it behind you. Imagine the confidence and sense of
satisfaction you'll gain by making it happen. Those positive outcomes
can be a part of your life very soon. All
it takes is for you to do what you have
to do. Let go of the resentment. Don't concern yourself
about whether it's fair or not. Simply take one. Ooh,
that's a good one. Let go of the resentment. Don't

(52:52):
concern yourself about whether it's fair or not. Simply take
one action after another and get it done. You've put
it off along, the excuses have run out, and now
you can finally be done with it. Get to work
now and get it done. Whoah, that hits Sit with that?
What is on your get it done list? What is

(53:16):
on your get it done list? Or maybe maybe it's
not even your get at done list, Maybe it's like
your delegate list, Like what's something that maybe you're just like, girl,
I can't get this do I need to delegate. I
have never told you about this that for me, I've
had so much anxiety about changing my name, Like I've
seen a lot of tiktoks about how how much hell
it is for women to change their name in there

(53:38):
when they get married, and thinking of the paperwork I
have to get together, thinking about the pointments I have
to do, thinking about I've just been so stressed. And
I love Zaddy so much, I but wholeheartedly, like if
it was up to me, I would not change my name.
And I asked him about this, I'm like, do I
really need to change my name? Like you don't even

(53:59):
like your dad? And it's like, I know, but I
take that way. I was gonna take that out. Okay,
I'm not gonna take that out. It's not that he
doesn't like his dadage that he doesn't talk to his dad. Okay,
he doesn't not like to his dad. All love and
blessings to his dad, or I thought was messed up.
I didn't mean that more of like, babe, do I
have to change my name to your last name? Like

(54:19):
we don't even talk to your dad? And he's like,
you know what. I love my grandfather. He was a
very special man to me. My life would not be
the same, My traductor of my life wouldn't be the
same if it wasn't for my grandfather, and to even
honor him, I want to change, Like I want to
keep my last name, and I would love for you
to have it too. So I'm just like, gulp, Okay,

(54:42):
I'll change. I love my name, girl, I love Crystal
role self. I love my name. My last name is
so beautiful. I love my name, but also like I
love Zaddy. I love Zaddy more than I love my name.
And so even though I've been stressing so much, I
prayed about it and I tiktokd scrolled about it, and

(55:03):
there's this girl on TikTok that was like I told
my man that I would change my name if he
did all the work for it, and so I was like, ooh,
so that I called Daddy. I'm like, we're on FaceTime.
I'm just like, baby, you know, there is something that
I've been really stressing about, Like I just I want
to know what you think and feel about this. I

(55:24):
love you so much and I'm so willing to change
my name for you, Like I'm excited for us to
become a one. Would you be open to doing the
work that will change my name? You know, getting the
paperwork from Sabodita and like going to the things and
you know, whatever I need, I'll become along for it.
You know, obviously I'll need signatures and things like that
to do some signatures, But like, can you handle the
heavy lifting of getting everything together and setting up appointments

(55:46):
and things like that for me to change my name?
And you know what he said, He said, yeah, i'd easy.
I would love to. He said it would be an honor.
He said, it would be an honor to be the
ones fearing you changing your name. Girl, I couldn't even
prayed for a better response. So, yeah, that's something that
like when I'm thinking of getting done, you know, that's

(56:06):
something that I'm just like, Oh, sometimes you gotta delegate, girl,
Sometimes you gotta delegate. But the biggest one was let
go of resentment or no, yeah, let go of the resentment.
Don't concern yourself about whether it's fair or not. Just
take the action to get it done, because sometimes we
have to do stuff that we're like, oh I hate
that I have to do this, Like this isn't it's
so not fair. That I'm the one that has to
do this, but once you just get it done, m

(56:30):
there ain't no feeling like that. So, you know, we're
in a we're in a cold parenting situation. There's a
lot of those situations for us. We're just like, it's
so unfair that we're the ones that have to do this,
but we're just like, you know what, for the better
good for and the best interest of you know, whatever
it is at hand, just just just do it, girl,
Just do it. So I hope you enjoyed that daily Motivator.

(56:53):
I'm gonna get to my show soon, so we're gonna
wrap it up with our final prayer of the day.
I know not all of us pray. I know this
isn't a thing for all of us. So if it's
not for you today, if it's not in your if
it's not in your vision board for the day, to
pray with me, then it's okay. I will see you
in next week's episode. Thank you so so so so much.
I love you so so much, and I'll see you
on the next one. If you don't typically pray and

(57:14):
you're thinking, you know, why not give it a shot today.
Just let's just see what praying is about. Let's just
do this together, like I welcome you. This book that
I always read towards the end of our episodes. It's
called Jesus Calling Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young.
You can totally get on Amazon. It has a prayer
every single day. July thirty first, This one is called
trust in the depths of your being. Trust me in

(57:39):
the depths of your being. It is there that I
live in constant communication with you, and communion with you.
When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do
not get upset with yourself. You're only human, and the
swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes
feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind

(57:59):
your self that I am both with you and within you.
I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive,
rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where
I live, my peace is your continual experience. Slow down
your piece, slow down your pace of living for a time, quiet,

(58:19):
reminding my presence. Then you will be able to hear
me bestowing the resurrection, blessing Peace be with you. Peace
be with you. I think of that all the time,
because that's literally goals, Like goals is just to have peace,
and it's true sometimes what and you know, I think
I talked about this last in the last episode where

(58:42):
where Zadi was really triggering me and getting me so
angry about how he was acting, and a night out
with one some of our friends, and like, my coping
was to get absolutely belligerent and like bround out, and
his coping was to go pray about it. And I
need to be that. I need to like work on that,
Like I do that a lot of the times, but

(59:03):
sometimes when I feel like I don't even know how
this was good, I don't even know God, how you
can help with this one we could, we'd be surprised.
We would really be surprised. How if we just like
take some breaths and just let it go. And I
say that all the time, let go on like God,
But I need to practice that more because because it's true,
like we're only human, like we can only do so much.

(59:26):
Rather than scolding yourself for humanness, reminding yourself that I
am both with you and within you. And I think
that we also need to remember this line that says
I'm with you at all times encouraging you and supportive
rather than condemning. And I think that's a huge misunderstanding
with faith and some religions is that we feel very judged.

(59:47):
We feel like, oh scared, We feel like, oh my
Gosh're scared, like oh, like I don't want to let
go down, or like I'm getting judged by God, or
like everyone's judging me, like I'm sinning, like it's so bad.
Like that is not at all what God is. God
is our peace. God is forever supportive and encouraging and
not condemning us. Like God wants us to reflect on

(01:00:08):
our frustrations and what we have going on in our
hard times and wants to be supportive and wants to
be the Holy Spirit that it makes us feel better
about it and do better next time. So I hope
that helped you. This is definitely a reminder to me,
and I just want to say thank you for all
the love and all the support. I know we're all
going through so many things. I know that you're hearing

(01:00:29):
stories of what I'm going through. And I was even
in a time where I was kind of jealous and
envious of people that were in their engagement eras or
in their wedding planning eras, thinking like they're doing what
I want to do. I want that so bad and
like and so I know it could even be triggering
for you hearing me share these things, being like, oh
my gosh, you know your mom is around and she's

(01:00:51):
doing wedding planning for you, and this you're saying, everything
is aligning so well. I didn't get my dream this,
or you know, I just want to be there. So
about God's timing is never late, like God has her
timing and the plan for you and whatever you're going through,
I know these are hard times for a lot of us,
Like God has you so set so just I hope

(01:01:12):
you can remember that and remind yourself that when you're
having those feelings, those anxious feelings, and just know that
it's all gonna happen, like all your dreams. Just keep
pushing yourself forward, keep loving yourself, keep remembering that there
are someone even if you don't believe it, like there
is someone bigger and better than all of us, that
does have all that love for you and wants it

(01:01:33):
for you. Just keep that hope and that faith. I
love you so so much. Thank you for that episode
of Crystal's Nightcap. I'll be back soon with another one,
and I'll see you on the next one. Hu