October 1, 2024 • 14 mins
On today's episode, Selena had a few crazy stories she wanted to tell us about, both involving injuries to a very sensitive area.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Happy wild thoughts to day.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yeah, well we're actually doing a wild one.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
We're doing it now.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Well, we skipped last week, and that was my fault.
I apologize to everybody. My kids had fevers and I
had to go pick them up from school, so I
had to bail out early.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
You know, kids when they get sippy, Like I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Feeling good, I think I need to, you know, stare
at a screen all day long. It's just an excuse
to watch fucking TV or get on a tablet or whatever.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm not falling for this bullshit.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
They'd gone like a flu shot or something like that, right.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah, they got the flu shot the day before, so
like at school, they're like, they got a fever, they
need to get home. I'm like, these little fuckers aren't sick.
Trust me, they're playing you right now. I mean, they
did have a fever because they had a.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Little you know, they're not like, actually they're ramped.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
They were ramped.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Well, it's a fever because your body tempertures high because
the reaction to the flu shot. But you know, they're
not actually sick. But then they still have to send
them home because you got a fever, and then thing whatever,
and then those little kids get home and they just
have the fucking time in their lives because they're not sick.
They feel fucking great, And I'm like, dude, I got
fucking work to do here, you little shits.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yep. I don't talk to my kids like that.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
But you think it.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Of course I think that. God, I'm like talk about
them not everyone shut up.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
So I have a couple of things, uh, involving dishes.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
See what it is for dicks.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
There was a really big story about a guy who
ate like four or five mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Have you guys ever tried trooms?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
By the way I have it, I'm strume curious, though
I'll admit I've.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Done like the chocolate kind and it's like the tiniest,
tiniest microdose.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah that's all I would ever do.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Yeah, I'm like terrified of anything that's going to make
me feel super weird or like hallucinate like that that
I cannot do.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I can't was that experience with the chocolate I'll be honest.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
The time I had two squares, it was really scary.
I was seeing things, but scary just the way it
made you feel maybe like perception a little bit.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I felt like I was just a little slow and laggy.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Did you unlock some of those unused parts of your brain?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
And that's why my man wanted to try it.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
He saw some like docuseries on Netflix, however, and he
wanted to unlock his brain.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I don't think it did that.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, I want to unlock my brain.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I don't want to unlock my brain.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I feel like there's a lot of it up there.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I'm like not using all in yeah, at math, because
like I can't math my mask.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Do you think you're going to do strooms It's going
to start unlocking a bunch of algebraic equations.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
It might because there was a time in my life
where I could do all that ship and now I
need a calculator for you know, eight plus fourteen. It
would be kind of cool, but you know what I mean, Like, dude,
I think I just took shrooms.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, give me another math.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
They could unlock memories for me.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Twenty five still got is that right?
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Okay, dude, I think I must have done I think
five plus.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Eight seventeen plus eight seventeen plus eight yeah five. Yeah
it is the.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Dude, you need to get your math brain unlocked. I
can do basic math.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
But I need like something unlocked, because there was a
time when, you know, in high school, like I could
do algebra, geometry, let's call it pre calculus. I don't
know what happened when I got into calculus, like I
could actually do math and complex math equations. Now I'm
telling you basic math, and in construction it's a lot
of basic math, like oh, I need this to be
seventeen and seven eighths and then minus an inch and
(03:06):
a quarter. And I sit there and fucking puzzle it
all that shit for an hour until I get my
calculator off.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
This guy in Austria, he does shrooms, right, he's like
four or five dried individual mushrooms. Didn't unlock his brain.
He wasn't there solved math problems. He chopped his dick
off with an axe.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Maybe he was solving a different kind of problem and
he didn't get into a lot of trouble.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So maybe he's like, I got to stop this thing.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And I think he cut some of it into like pieces,
and then when he had realized what he done, he
like covered you know.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
The area his stump.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I don't know what's left, but like a cloth, he's
trying to stop the bleeding, and then he's like, oh
my god, I have to like save I gotta save
my dick. So he puts it in a jar with snow.
Maybe he didn't have ice, not milk.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
He's supposed to put it in a cup of milk,
right and rush to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So you put he like filled the jar with snow
and he puts it in there, and then somebody found
him like wandering around. So he goes to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
He fucking snow dick jar.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, with a snow oh dig jar. But that's what happened.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
He like just suffered a psychotic break, I guess. So
he goes to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I'm back out on shrooms.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I'm no longer shroom curious. This dude diced it like
it's one thing to cut it off, but then he
cut it up like your mom's cutting up hot dogs
and put in your mac and cheese.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Don't do that.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
So he goes to the hospital and doctors are like
pulling out the pieces from the snow jar and they're
like they're like cleaning it off. They said that they
had to carefully clean the severed organ because they had
been contaminated by dirt and snow, and then they were
able to repair the tip and about two inches of
the shaft, but everything else had been too damaged.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
So now he's got a two inch or what do you.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Think he started with a probably like five and.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Three quarters, somewhere between five and six that's the average.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, man, talk about like waking up and finally coming
out of that shroom, you know, being psychosis or whatever
he had, and you look down at your Oh my god,
Oh that would be no more.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I mean, good job to the doctors for being able
to even.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Like give him anything back.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, that would be rough.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I have another dig story if you guys want it.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I'm still trying to I'm still trying to.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Process. Go ahead, let me know when you're done.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm still thinking about it because like, even once that
things put back together, like you know, it doesn't look
or function or.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Operate like the way it used to.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I wonder if it does.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Well. For sure, he can do that, but the other
stuff probably not.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, if it's missing all that skin, it's just.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Like the same thing you got, just smaller. So like
maybe you can still get a little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
What if it can't, What if it can't even get
a bone, ski doesn't grow.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, but it's blood floating that area, so like when.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You it just wouldn't look true.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
It would probably just be like so it stays to
one side like all micro. Yeah, maybe he's a grower
not a shower.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
You think that's okay, but there's not enough skin now
to grow.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, but even yeah, I mean maybe, yeah, we don't know.
Is there are there pictures?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Now, you guys are sick, you would look I.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Would, yeah, me too, out of carry off, yeah, just
out of jarred snow dick, of course, I'll take a look.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Oh my gosh. So the shrooms just took away all
the pain I'm assuming then, right, I mean he was
able to do that? Sounds so easy. Yeah, I guess so, dude.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
It doesn't numb that kind of pain. Have you ever
been kicked in the nuts?
Speaker 4 (06:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Once? Just no, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm no longer shroom curious. I
don't want to do shrimp.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
I don't think he felt any pain because to go
ahead and not just cut it once, but then to
keep chopping, you're not in pain.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
You had done, yeah, but.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Once it's chopped off, you're not feeling it as you're
slicing it into.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
The like hunched over and pain.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
When you're not not busy chopping up your dick, you'd
be like, oh my god, would have I done?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Dude? You'd be bleeding like crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, it's so he almost died the fact that I'm
like picturing it right, just sporting everywhere. All right, move on.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
That dude was normal prior to this, Like he wasn't
like just some like totally normal person took four shrooms
and then cut his dick off like that dude.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Like, I mean, he was, he was a normal person,
but I guess he had become really really depressed and
he was like drinking a lot and then decided.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
To do shrimp.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
So he was dealing with some other stuff, but this
was his first time doing I don't fucking know.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Jess, I ask again, you have yes, I do you
have another dick? If you guys are ready, stick it
to me.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
All right.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
So there's this guy, uh, I don't know where he's from,
but he went and got a procede dirt to make
his dick a little bigger. So he was already a
big guy six ' five, really athletic builds, but he
said that he didn't have like the dick size to
match the rest of his.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Body, and he was always he was always.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Really self conscious about it. He said that soft he
was four and a half inches. And then when erect
six point two five inches, nothing like average.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Something sneeze that sounds like a normal dick.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
So you went and he got a silicone penile implant.
This is where you're just lost in twelve dollars. Everything
was like, everything was going good for that first year.
He had a girlfriend. Everything was great. Well, after that
first year, the implant became detached and it was like
sliding around in there. Oh god, So he can't get
it replaced. And when he got it replaced, he ended
(08:28):
up losing some length and he gained a quote very
pronounced pubic mound.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh no, I don't want to be Is that like
a picture's mounted.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
On your dick?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Oh, but it's right there on yeah? Is it? I
picture it being at the base.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, yeah, because it's like the mound and then your
dick sticks out.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Your dick is the picture standing on the mound, right.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So he has so now he has a mound.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Getting ready to deliver the ball.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Yeah, then that implant folded on itself. Oh no, and
so his his you know, his junk became disfigured. Oh,
you get to undergo another surgery to fix everything, with
a different doctor this time, and he was left with
eight deformed three inch.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Er Oh guys, see, let that be your cautionary tail.
No shrooms and have a decent average dick.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Just and then, because everything was so painful and it
already took an emotional toll on him, but then one
of the edges of the implant pierced through his skin.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
No, he had to undergo surgery again, this time to
remove everything, give him.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Some shrooms and chop it off.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
At the time you had your chance, you lost his
dick altogether.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oh no, he.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Says, it went completely inside my body. The only thing
I could see was the very tip of the head
of my penis. Essentially, I have a vagina right now.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Dude, imagine scaring your dick so bad that it goes
to hide inside. Now the dick is like, guys, I
can't you stop experimenting on me.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I'm going to go hide inside.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Imagine having nothing now.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I'm telling you that dude just had like a normal one.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, now, this that was a very Isn't that scary?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
So he has to undergo surgery again in December. That's
going to involve a penis shaft transplant and skin graphs.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
He has to get a whole new one.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
How did he like?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I always wonder like, at least not in my friend group,
we don't like whip a mountain measure them.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So like, you guys did do that?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
So how do you like really know that, like where
you stack up amongst you?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Well, I guess he don't. He just felt it was
disproportionate to his body's.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
But then obviously to the doctor and they're like they
have to measure.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
I'm sure that's how they got the mess.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
They don't measure you. You don't go to a normal
physical Yeah, before the surgery, they just make you turn
your head and cough.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
No, no, that's jail.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That's a different jail.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
They do that in jail.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
That's a regular checkup.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
But that's an you go to the doctor. Your doctor
makes you cough.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You turn your head and cough. They put your their
fingers right up and you're like, groin. It's a check
for hernia.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's not every is cool, but they do it. In
jail too, to make sure that you're not hiding anything
in your Yeah, they.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Want to see if anything flies out of your bu Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
But if they're good, if they're gonna do surgery on it,
I'm assuming they would check it before to be like.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
This before and after the No they do.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Do you think when you sit down at that doctor
that performs that thing, like you just like Selena you
went in for, like you know, you got your nose done,
Like you're looking at pictures of different noses, like I
like this one.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I like this one.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Do you think they just have like a big photo
book of dick before and afters and they're like, oh,
I like this one.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
See what this see this big girl, see this big girth?
I want that one.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Well, did you know that doctor does good work?
Speaker 4 (11:35):
They have like the album sitting out on that I
mean table in the reception area, and like his.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Face is a blurt out but like you know, you're
just seeing like, oh see what he did there?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He took this little dink.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
It's everything burt out except the Dicksye, normally the dicks
are what's a blurt out dick?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Look book?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I like this one. Doc, Can
you give me that one?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Nope? Okay, I'm not a candidate for that.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Guy to have nothing.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Now, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
He probably regrets all. Of course he does.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
That's a daily regret thing, because every time you go
to the.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Bathroom, do you think he sits down?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Now you're reminded that you once had one?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And you're down right no. You still want to like
hold on to what you had, but you can't.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
If you can't, if you ever tiny hands, he's five,
he had a really really big Mediam, he's getting a
new one.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Just hold on to what but.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
I mean for now until he gets the new one.
He's a sit down here now, Oh poor guys.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I think he's going to get a new one.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
No's he has surgery coming up in December.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I missed that part. Get new to get a whole
start all over tain.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You're playing on fire, bro, There's no chance this thing
is going to work after that.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
To try something, it can't get any worse.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
If I was in that situation, I would still try Yeah, yeah, wow,
And I'd be like, let's go for big this.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Can I pick the size? Though?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I want this one called the bowling pin. Can I
have that one.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Wait why because it's like bigger at the base and
skinny on the top.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
That's weird.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Just big heavy, just a big heavy schlong. No, but yeah,
the shape.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Anyways, Anyway, those dickstoys for today.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You enjoy today's well thoughts?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah? What should we title it? Pubic mound?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yes that I don't think so. Maybe p mound?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
No that sounds worse.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Yeah, okay, Lena, you got anything? We have to have
mound in there. I just don't know how.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
The pictures mound.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Okay, cool, all right, we're delivering the balls.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Wait I now, you guys know how our titling.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Podcastings know something about the snow dick jar.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh, the snow jar, snow jar of dicks. We can't
put that in.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
The Sorry peeling back the curtain here, this.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Is what we said, goes on the meetings.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
High level brainstorming.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You guys are gross, you're gross, You're sick by
Happy wild thoughts to day.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Yeah, well we're actually doing a wild one.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
We're doing it now.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Well, we skipped last week, and that was my fault.
I apologize to everybody. My kids had fevers and I
had to go pick them up from school, so I
had to bail out early.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
You know, kids when they get sippy, Like I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Feeling good, I think I need to, you know, stare
at a screen all day long. It's just an excuse
to watch fucking TV or get on a tablet or whatever.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm not falling for this bullshit.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
They'd gone like a flu shot or something like that, right.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah, they got the flu shot the day before, so
like at school, they're like, they got a fever, they
need to get home. I'm like, these little fuckers aren't sick.
Trust me, they're playing you right now. I mean, they
did have a fever because they had a.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Little you know, they're not like, actually they're ramped.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
They were ramped.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Well, it's a fever because your body tempertures high because
the reaction to the flu shot. But you know, they're
not actually sick. But then they still have to send
them home because you got a fever, and then thing whatever,
and then those little kids get home and they just
have the fucking time in their lives because they're not sick.
They feel fucking great, And I'm like, dude, I got
fucking work to do here, you little shits.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yep. I don't talk to my kids like that.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
But you think it.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Of course I think that. God, I'm like talk about
them not everyone shut up.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
So I have a couple of things, uh, involving dishes.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
See what it is for dicks.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
There was a really big story about a guy who
ate like four or five mushrooms.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Have you guys ever tried trooms?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
By the way I have it, I'm strume curious, though
I'll admit I've.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Done like the chocolate kind and it's like the tiniest,
tiniest microdose.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah that's all I would ever do.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Yeah, I'm like terrified of anything that's going to make
me feel super weird or like hallucinate like that that
I cannot do.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I can't was that experience with the chocolate I'll be honest.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
The time I had two squares, it was really scary.
I was seeing things, but scary just the way it
made you feel maybe like perception a little bit.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I felt like I was just a little slow and laggy.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Did you unlock some of those unused parts of your brain?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
And that's why my man wanted to try it.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
He saw some like docuseries on Netflix, however, and he
wanted to unlock his brain.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I don't think it did that.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, I want to unlock my brain.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I don't want to unlock my brain.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I feel like there's a lot of it up there.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I'm like not using all in yeah, at math, because
like I can't math my mask.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Do you think you're going to do strooms It's going
to start unlocking a bunch of algebraic equations.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
It might because there was a time in my life
where I could do all that ship and now I
need a calculator for you know, eight plus fourteen. It
would be kind of cool, but you know what I mean, Like, dude,
I think I just took shrooms.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, give me another math.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
They could unlock memories for me.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Twenty five still got is that right?
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Okay, dude, I think I must have done I think
five plus.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Eight seventeen plus eight seventeen plus eight yeah five. Yeah
it is the.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Dude, you need to get your math brain unlocked. I
can do basic math.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
But I need like something unlocked, because there was a
time when, you know, in high school, like I could
do algebra, geometry, let's call it pre calculus. I don't
know what happened when I got into calculus, like I
could actually do math and complex math equations. Now I'm
telling you basic math, and in construction it's a lot
of basic math, like oh, I need this to be
seventeen and seven eighths and then minus an inch and
(03:06):
a quarter. And I sit there and fucking puzzle it
all that shit for an hour until I get my
calculator off.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
This guy in Austria, he does shrooms, right, he's like
four or five dried individual mushrooms. Didn't unlock his brain.
He wasn't there solved math problems. He chopped his dick
off with an axe.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Maybe he was solving a different kind of problem and
he didn't get into a lot of trouble.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So maybe he's like, I got to stop this thing.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And I think he cut some of it into like pieces,
and then when he had realized what he done, he
like covered you know.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
The area his stump.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I don't know what's left, but like a cloth, he's
trying to stop the bleeding, and then he's like, oh
my god, I have to like save I gotta save
my dick. So he puts it in a jar with snow.
Maybe he didn't have ice, not milk.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
He's supposed to put it in a cup of milk,
right and rush to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So you put he like filled the jar with snow
and he puts it in there, and then somebody found
him like wandering around. So he goes to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
He fucking snow dick jar.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, with a snow oh dig jar. But that's what happened.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
He like just suffered a psychotic break, I guess. So
he goes to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I'm back out on shrooms.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I'm no longer shroom curious. This dude diced it like
it's one thing to cut it off, but then he
cut it up like your mom's cutting up hot dogs
and put in your mac and cheese.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Don't do that.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
So he goes to the hospital and doctors are like
pulling out the pieces from the snow jar and they're
like they're like cleaning it off. They said that they
had to carefully clean the severed organ because they had
been contaminated by dirt and snow, and then they were
able to repair the tip and about two inches of
the shaft, but everything else had been too damaged.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
So now he's got a two inch or what do you.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Think he started with a probably like five and.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Three quarters, somewhere between five and six that's the average.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, man, talk about like waking up and finally coming
out of that shroom, you know, being psychosis or whatever
he had, and you look down at your Oh my god,
Oh that would be no more.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I mean, good job to the doctors for being able
to even.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Like give him anything back.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, that would be rough.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I have another dig story if you guys want it.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I'm still trying to I'm still trying to.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Process. Go ahead, let me know when you're done.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm still thinking about it because like, even once that
things put back together, like you know, it doesn't look
or function or.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Operate like the way it used to.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I wonder if it does.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Well. For sure, he can do that, but the other
stuff probably not.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, if it's missing all that skin, it's just.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Like the same thing you got, just smaller. So like
maybe you can still get a little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
What if it can't, What if it can't even get
a bone, ski doesn't grow.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, but it's blood floating that area, so like when.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You it just wouldn't look true.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
It would probably just be like so it stays to
one side like all micro. Yeah, maybe he's a grower
not a shower.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
You think that's okay, but there's not enough skin now
to grow.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, but even yeah, I mean maybe, yeah, we don't know.
Is there are there pictures?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Now, you guys are sick, you would look I.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Would, yeah, me too, out of carry off, yeah, just
out of jarred snow dick, of course, I'll take a look.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Oh my gosh. So the shrooms just took away all
the pain I'm assuming then, right, I mean he was
able to do that? Sounds so easy. Yeah, I guess so, dude.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
It doesn't numb that kind of pain. Have you ever
been kicked in the nuts?
Speaker 4 (06:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Once? Just no, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm no longer shroom curious. I
don't want to do shrimp.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
I don't think he felt any pain because to go
ahead and not just cut it once, but then to
keep chopping, you're not in pain.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
You had done, yeah, but.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Once it's chopped off, you're not feeling it as you're
slicing it into.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
The like hunched over and pain.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
When you're not not busy chopping up your dick, you'd
be like, oh my god, would have I done?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Dude? You'd be bleeding like crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, it's so he almost died the fact that I'm
like picturing it right, just sporting everywhere. All right, move on.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
That dude was normal prior to this, Like he wasn't
like just some like totally normal person took four shrooms
and then cut his dick off like that dude.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Like, I mean, he was, he was a normal person,
but I guess he had become really really depressed and
he was like drinking a lot and then decided.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
To do shrimp.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
So he was dealing with some other stuff, but this
was his first time doing I don't fucking know.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Jess, I ask again, you have yes, I do you
have another dick? If you guys are ready, stick it
to me.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
All right.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
So there's this guy, uh, I don't know where he's from,
but he went and got a procede dirt to make
his dick a little bigger. So he was already a
big guy six ' five, really athletic builds, but he
said that he didn't have like the dick size to
match the rest of his.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Body, and he was always he was always.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Really self conscious about it. He said that soft he
was four and a half inches. And then when erect
six point two five inches, nothing like average.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Something sneeze that sounds like a normal dick.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
So you went and he got a silicone penile implant.
This is where you're just lost in twelve dollars. Everything
was like, everything was going good for that first year.
He had a girlfriend. Everything was great. Well, after that
first year, the implant became detached and it was like
sliding around in there. Oh god, So he can't get
it replaced. And when he got it replaced, he ended
(08:28):
up losing some length and he gained a quote very
pronounced pubic mound.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh no, I don't want to be Is that like
a picture's mounted.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
On your dick?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Oh, but it's right there on yeah? Is it? I
picture it being at the base.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, yeah, because it's like the mound and then your
dick sticks out.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Your dick is the picture standing on the mound, right.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So he has so now he has a mound.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Getting ready to deliver the ball.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Yeah, then that implant folded on itself. Oh no, and
so his his you know, his junk became disfigured. Oh,
you get to undergo another surgery to fix everything, with
a different doctor this time, and he was left with
eight deformed three inch.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Er Oh guys, see, let that be your cautionary tail.
No shrooms and have a decent average dick.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Just and then, because everything was so painful and it
already took an emotional toll on him, but then one
of the edges of the implant pierced through his skin.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
No, he had to undergo surgery again, this time to
remove everything, give him.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Some shrooms and chop it off.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
At the time you had your chance, you lost his
dick altogether.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oh no, he.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Says, it went completely inside my body. The only thing
I could see was the very tip of the head
of my penis. Essentially, I have a vagina right now.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Dude, imagine scaring your dick so bad that it goes
to hide inside. Now the dick is like, guys, I
can't you stop experimenting on me.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I'm going to go hide inside.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Imagine having nothing now.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I'm telling you that dude just had like a normal one.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, now, this that was a very Isn't that scary?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
So he has to undergo surgery again in December. That's
going to involve a penis shaft transplant and skin graphs.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
He has to get a whole new one.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
How did he like?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I always wonder like, at least not in my friend group,
we don't like whip a mountain measure them.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So like, you guys did do that?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
So how do you like really know that, like where
you stack up amongst you?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Well, I guess he don't. He just felt it was
disproportionate to his body's.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
But then obviously to the doctor and they're like they
have to measure.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
I'm sure that's how they got the mess.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
They don't measure you. You don't go to a normal
physical Yeah, before the surgery, they just make you turn
your head and cough.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
No, no, that's jail.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That's a different jail.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
They do that in jail.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
That's a regular checkup.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
But that's an you go to the doctor. Your doctor
makes you cough.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You turn your head and cough. They put your their
fingers right up and you're like, groin. It's a check
for hernia.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's not every is cool, but they do it. In
jail too, to make sure that you're not hiding anything
in your Yeah, they.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Want to see if anything flies out of your bu Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
But if they're good, if they're gonna do surgery on it,
I'm assuming they would check it before to be like.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
This before and after the No they do.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Do you think when you sit down at that doctor
that performs that thing, like you just like Selena you
went in for, like you know, you got your nose done,
Like you're looking at pictures of different noses, like I
like this one.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I like this one.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Do you think they just have like a big photo
book of dick before and afters and they're like, oh,
I like this one.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
See what this see this big girl, see this big girth?
I want that one.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Well, did you know that doctor does good work?
Speaker 4 (11:35):
They have like the album sitting out on that I
mean table in the reception area, and like his.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Face is a blurt out but like you know, you're
just seeing like, oh see what he did there?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He took this little dink.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
It's everything burt out except the Dicksye, normally the dicks
are what's a blurt out dick?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Look book?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I like this one. Doc, Can
you give me that one?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Nope? Okay, I'm not a candidate for that.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Guy to have nothing.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Now, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
He probably regrets all. Of course he does.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
That's a daily regret thing, because every time you go
to the.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Bathroom, do you think he sits down?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Now you're reminded that you once had one?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And you're down right no. You still want to like
hold on to what you had, but you can't.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
If you can't, if you ever tiny hands, he's five,
he had a really really big Mediam, he's getting a
new one.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Just hold on to what but.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
I mean for now until he gets the new one.
He's a sit down here now, Oh poor guys.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I think he's going to get a new one.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
No's he has surgery coming up in December.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I missed that part. Get new to get a whole
start all over tain.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You're playing on fire, bro, There's no chance this thing
is going to work after that.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
To try something, it can't get any worse.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
If I was in that situation, I would still try Yeah, yeah, wow,
And I'd be like, let's go for big this.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Can I pick the size? Though?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I want this one called the bowling pin. Can I
have that one.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Wait why because it's like bigger at the base and
skinny on the top.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
That's weird.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Just big heavy, just a big heavy schlong. No, but yeah,
the shape.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Anyways, Anyway, those dickstoys for today.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You enjoy today's well thoughts?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah? What should we title it? Pubic mound?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yes that I don't think so. Maybe p mound?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
No that sounds worse.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Yeah, okay, Lena, you got anything? We have to have
mound in there. I just don't know how.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
The pictures mound.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Okay, cool, all right, we're delivering the balls.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Wait I now, you guys know how our titling.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Podcastings know something about the snow dick jar.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh, the snow jar, snow jar of dicks. We can't
put that in.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
The Sorry peeling back the curtain here, this.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Is what we said, goes on the meetings.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
High level brainstorming.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You guys are gross, you're gross, You're sick by
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