May 9, 2025 • 34 mins
To celebrate Mother's Day, Dan closes the show with his annual tradition of sharing, and having his listeners share, stories of the best advice their mother ever gave them.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Dan Caples and welcome to today's online podcast
edition of The Dan Caplis Show. Please be sure to
give us a five star rating if you'd be so kind,
and to subscribe, download, and listen to the show every
single day on your favorite podcast platform. Probably fighting, we're winning.
That's fun too, right five oh five, On this glorious
Friday afternoon before Mother's Day, I think we're going to
(00:22):
have ryan probably the nicest Mother's Day weekend we have
in decades. Eighty tomorrow, just sunshine straight through cloud or
two on Mother's Day Hive eighty four, Monday eighty six.
Maybe a couple of clouds doesn't look like anything funky
at all next week, So hey, spring U sprong, let's
enjoy it at some point during this hour. In fact,
(00:43):
let's just start it now, throwing calls whenever you'd like.
On this we do it the Friday before every Mother's
Day show. We should probably do it every day. And
that is the best advice your mother ever gave you,
because it's amazing, right that we have such collective wisdom
within our audience. When you think of all the people
on our audience and so all the people who had
mothers and all of the wisdom from those mothers, and
(01:04):
then our callers boil it down to maybe, you know,
the top gem that they got from their mother, or
maybe the top two. So it's a really fun and
helpful show each year when we do that. So fire
it will or you can taxt d an five seven
seven three nine three or three someone three eight two
five five. I'm kind of a throwback. I love the callers,
but one way or the other, we'll get your mama's
(01:26):
wisdom onto the show. And my mom had so much
I just don't want to hog the at on this.
She just had so much great wisdom. And my dad too,
of course, right, but boy, and my mom was she
could have been anything, CEO of anything. She she decided
to stay home with us, and so we got that
(01:46):
wisdom from her all the time, sometimes accompanied by a uh,
you know, some firm physical encouragement. But boy, what a
devoted mom, all right, he three or three someone three
eight two five five text D five seven seven three nine.
And a great one is I go to the phone
lines and text, hey, we're talking a lot about you know,
we're learning more and more about the Pope. We talked
(02:07):
about a lot yesterday and just more and more reason
to believe that what I said yesterday is true and
what I felt, and I really I'm sure you the
same way. I just truly trust and rely on my intuition.
And it's not perfect, because no human's perfect, but it's
better than anything else, and it's really good. And so
I just have this overpowering feeling that this pope is
(02:29):
going to be one of the superstar popes, you know,
the John Paul the Great kind of popes, and they'll
only be one John Paul the Great. But I think
this pope, I think he's going to be. I think
he's going to be a courageous, energetic, plane spoken bridge peacemaker.
(02:50):
I think he's perfectly positioned to as my uncle said,
father Roger capitalist priest for sixty seven years in Chicago,
still doing multiple masses a week. He joined us at
four twenty. You can him off the pod. This is
kind of a perfect pope to serve as a bridge
between different factions while at the same time not being
milk toast. And yeah, I think there are great things
(03:13):
that had there. And even if you don't have any faith,
no matter of different faith, the world is still greatly
affected by a great pope, and I think we got
one here, Dan and Arvada. You're on the dan kaplosh'll welcome.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Hey, Dan, I really enjoy listening to you debate people
that have different facts than yours. Oh, the last color Warren,
the last color Warren. Absolutely when you flate him on
the facts, then he diverted and deflected to the Mexico border.
(03:48):
Why didn't you Why didn't Ukraine or Russia invade Ukraine
during Trump You pretty much didn't have an answer, and
it was just hilarious to listen to him.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh, let's talk about Mexico now. And you know the
thing about Warrantine just a quick note, because he's called before.
There's no doubt in my mind about ther masarity of
his belief and he just really believes that that Russia
had a right to be concerned about Ukraine. And I
will just always come back to the point that that
that doesn't justify rape and pillage, it doesn't justify the invasion.
(04:24):
And listen, I'm sure trying. And I don't fault. I
don't fault to Russian people. I just think Vladimir Putin
is one of the most evil men to ever live.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You're right, You're right, have a good weekend.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Hey you two man, thank you, have a great Mother's
Day weekend. And best advice for mom. I just want
to throw one out there to sort of get it going.
There's so much good advice, but to me, I'll just
start kind of with the clock, right, just like when
the first thing woke up in the morning. She would
always say, first thing, when you wake up in the morning,
think of the five things you're eight full four and
(05:01):
the five things you're looking for to that day. And
that was just such a tremendous habit to get into, right,
because it's you know people. It didn't Lincoln say, Ryan,
you're up on all this dead president's stuff. Didn't Lincoln
say that people are as happy as they decide to be.
So it's what you And this is a Tony Robbins
thing now, right, He's made his bones on this. What
(05:22):
are you going to focus on? Like right now, Ryan
Schuling could probably think of five things to focus on
to make them happy or no matter how well your
day's going, five things you could focus on to make
you sad. Yeah, Well, and you've got Alexa, so that's yeah,
not that you wouldn't be happy with Kelly.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Right, but Alex is a nice bonus. Yeah, well Kelly
can't make it.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
But but yeah, so I just think that was great
advice from my mom. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
My mom was more kind of practical, street smart type stuff,
and she was great at.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
It, like hit him in the Adams Eppo, not like.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
On the streets. I mean she was from River Rouge.
I wasn't tough down over Detroit. But one of the
ones that I've used in my life and it's worked
almost every time, is you go into a car dealership
and they're trying to sell you a car, and they
give you a price, walk out, just leave, just leave,
and milk call back his darn toot. And she was
absolutely right, Oh, we can do something else for you.
(06:17):
Oh why couldn't you do that when I was there before? Wow,
that was another day that's impressed. Oh yeah that you know.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
One of the most powerful memories of my mom is
we're at seventy six oh five South Aberdeen, heart of
the South Side of Chicago. The neighborhood is is it's changing,
it's changing racially, and there's a lot of racial tension,
and we're just a summer night we're all out in
front of my dad's working swings, so he's not there,
all the kids playing out in front, and then all
(06:44):
of a sudden, bang bang bang bang bang, and they're
just bullets slamming off the house and my mom just
as calm as she could be. Okay, kids, time to
go in, and just it just kind of hurts us
into the house, bang in, big big bang, and he's
just incredibly calm. And yeah, she was just amazing. And
(07:08):
that's why you hear it. My uncle when he joined
us at four twenty. Just the strengths, you know what
I mean, Just the strength that I'm not saying Chicago's
the only place you have strong people, but just growing
up there and my uncle a priests there for sixty
seven years. The weather will make you strong if nothing else.
You guys, spend any time in Chicago, Oh yeah, lots
of time. When I came out here, it took me
like an hour to say, literally, thank you God, I
(07:30):
have gone to heaven. When you come out here and
you got the weather and you got the beauty, who
would ever come here and leave? Eh? It's a good question.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
And what I was wondering too, and listening to your
phenomenal uncle. Again that he is ninety three. There are
listeners that are texting in that still don't believe that either.
Oh man, But just what his relationship was like with
your father?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
They were brothers, right, oh yeah, yeah, yeah? Yeah? Were
they close? Oh yeah? But competitive in the sense that
I mean my dad was a star athlete. He played
it to Paul under ray Meyer. I mean he played
big time college basketball and went to Leo and was
a star there. And father Raj was a super star priest.
I mean, like he was before this became a thing. Man,
(08:09):
he was the CBS commentator. So I can't remember which pope,
but he was one of the first priest to ever
be on TV doing color commentary for religious stuff. Wow. Yeah, No,
he was super star priest and he still is. They
still pack the church for him. He's incredible. And you
know what the you know one thing he does great,
I mean the homilyes thing seven minutes, but it's brilliant.
(08:31):
It's one point tells a joke gets out of there,
but he gives people an important message.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Less is more and brevity is the soul of wit.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Well, there's no question about it. It's the danger of diffusion. Right,
you got a good point to make. Rian's very good
at this in a show. He does a great show
two to four in the Denver market each day. But
you got a great point to make. Make the darn
point and get out of there. Don't don't diffuse the
value of the point, making three or four other points
the way I do. You know, Just just make your
(08:59):
good point, get out of there. It's uh, yeah, he's
very good at that as a priest, and he was
great at our wedding. He was great at our wedding too.
It was very very privileged that he was there. And
Cardinal Stafford then an archbishop, and man, I'm going to
get Thierry here with all these great memories three or
(09:21):
three someone three eight two five five text d A
N five seven seven three nine. I really want to
get start getting some of those best advice your mom
ever gave you. Alexa just gave us one. Be brilliant,
be brief, be gone. And what context was that offered
when you're speaking speaking to the c suite of executives. Yeah,
(09:46):
you just say what you need to say. Yeah, make
a brilliant point, keep it short and leave.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
No.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
That is such a great point. It's like a priest
when I was in the seminary told me, which is
always leave him wanting more. I thought it was a
great point. It might be some situations that doesn't apply to,
but it applies to almost every Maybe it applies to everything. Dan,
(10:13):
my mom used to say, be careful what you wish for.
There's some truth in that, I guess, depending on what
you're wishing for. So, hey, we want to come back,
and we'll continue with hot sound. I do promise I
spaced it. I'll deliver when we come back, the single
greatest nine to one one call you've ever heard. I
don't think anybody will disagree with that once they hear it.
(10:33):
It's going to introduce a new phrase into pop culture.
And then we'll just do a whole bunch of best
advice your mother ever gave you. Three or three someone
three eight two five five text d A N five
seven seven three nine And now back to the Dan
Kaplas Show podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
A man should not play sports against women. I'm not
going to get into all the book that's going on
out here in the world today. If anybody think that,
I think they're stupid. I'm not, like I said, I
support the gay community one hundred percent. I support the
transgender community one hundred percent. But I do, not, under
any circumstances on zero think that men should play sports
(11:15):
against women. And if anybody have a problem with that,
they're gonna have to get over it, because I'm not
going to change my I'm not going to change I
just think is wrong period.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
How can anybody argue with that? Right? And I sure
hope whoever the GOP nominee is for governor in Colorado,
for Senator in Colorado, they better pound that issue home
and because it's a great way of exposing their opponent
and who their opponent really is. Simple, Okay, should men
play women's sports? Should boys play girl sports? Should boys
(11:46):
be in girls' locker rooms? Should boys be in girls showers?
I mean, just expose the opponent that way, right, because
this is one hundred to zero issue when just thinking
about right and wrong. But the Democrat candidates won't be
able to break from the insane position that the Democratic
parties committed to. So I sure hope, I sure hope
(12:07):
that has hit very.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Hard even the way Charles said it. Though Dan I
mentioned this on my program earlier because I was sitting
there listening to him, and I agree. But the pro
trans women in Women's Spaces and sports movement would say,
of course Charles is right, men shouldn't, but trans women
are women and they should be allowed to participate in
the sports and enter the spaces and change in the
locker rooms where women are because that's how identify they
(12:29):
identify and their women.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Is there one person on the face of the other
stupid enough to believe that. I think a lot of
people believe that. Oh they don't. I mean to look
at the overwhelming success of the Trump ady. Why do
you think they spend one hundred and eighty million dollars
on it? Right? I mean, why would they have? That
was the most effective political ad in our lifetimes?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Granted, Dan, why did thirteen twelve just pass the Colorado
General Assembly?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Because the General Assembly doesn't give a darn what the
people of Colorado think or want. I'm being literal here.
They don't Ryan, right, they think they're politically bulletproof, then
why do they do it though?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I mean, just to flaunt that fact that we're politically
bullet for so we'll do the craziest blank ever and
get away with it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, Because all the big money in the Democratic Party now,
and a lot of it's national money, but also some
Colorado money is on the hardcore radical secular left. That's
where the big money's coming from. So the attitude of
Colorado Democrats is that if you win the primary, you're
going to win the race, and the money to win
the primary is going to come from these hardcore radical
(13:33):
secular leftists, most of them national, and so that's why
they're doing all this insane stuff. And look at Mike Johnston.
He used to be saying he used to so we
disagreed about plenty of things, but he used to be saying,
he'd come on the show all the time, we'd have
these conversations. And now look at the guy. You can't
(13:54):
even recognize him intellectually. I mean, his hair still realize,
and he's got that going for him, but you can't
even recognize him just all this insane, crazy stuff. Doesn't
he start speeches now saying he could be talking about
four people just had their heads cut off on the mall,
and he'll start the speech with I stand here recognizing
we're on hollow ground that at one point was owned
(14:15):
by the Eskimos. I mean that's what he does.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I just couldn't believe. Maybe I should have believed it, Dan,
But to your point, when he held that mini press
conference on the sixteenth Street mall after the flight attendant
woman had been stabbed, lord death and he was talking
about fat.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Lap oh, he was doing a victory lap just yards
from where she almost hit her hut head cut off.
Unreal but in all fairness, the greatest performance ever by
a signer, right, remember that, because because Johnston rolled out
the signer who could sign for deaf people. And then
when a heckler came by walking down the mall calling
(14:52):
Johnston every name in the book, much of it very accurate,
the signer, God love him, he just signed all that
he made, the face he made the faces, he signed
the names. And I never even knew you could sign
some of those swear words. But hey, I promised this,
and you can imagine what those signs look like. But
(15:12):
this is the greatest nine to one one call you
will ever hear. And then we're doing the best advice
your mother ever gave you. Text at DA N five
seven seventy three nine er call, greatest nine to one
one call ever. This nine one one call raise some eyebrows. Nine,
what's your emergency?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Yeah, my wat got attacked by a warthog.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Real bad and I need someone to come up with
ambulance and pick her up.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Okay, sir, can you give me your draft?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Uh? Yeah, we're at one eight two five eucalyptus drive.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Okay, could you spell that for me?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Sir?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I'm gonna drag her on over to Oak Street and
you can.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Pick her up there.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
That's that's gonna become the new response anytime anybody doesn't
know the answer to something. I don't fault him. I
couldn't spell that word, but yeah, I'll just drag her
over to Oak Oak minutes and the wardhog thing. I
think that's a pretty rare injury. Yeah out, Yeah, best
(16:13):
advice my mom. Here's one best advice my mom ever
gave me. Girl, Once you start having children, you better
eat while you're cooking because that's the last hot meal
you'll ever have. That's good practical advice. He got it
like that, Dan, My mom always told me never worry
about things you can't control. That's pretty darn good advice too,
(16:36):
So yeah, I want to hear from me on that. Plus,
you can call us the old fashioned waight three oh
three someone three eight two five five the number amazing.
I just saw yeah, because when my uncle was on,
Father Roger Caplis, he was on to talk about the
new Pope because father Ogi's been a priest in Chicago
sixty seven years. He made a comment about, yeah, you
know that there's about the Pope being at the Socks game.
(16:57):
And during the break, I was watching Ryan What are
the odds? Game? One of that two thousand and five
World Series Socks Astros. They do one of those crowd
cuts and they zero in on him and he wasn't
in a collar or anything. He was just in the
stands watching the game. What are the odds they would
zero in on him? That's great. So I think that
answers the question. He is a Socks fan, but virtually
(17:20):
every Southsider is right.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Well, yeah, they're honest about it. But you know, it's
really hard to be a white Sox fan these days.
The only team worse than them is the Rockies.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah. But the funny thing for us was because my dad,
we were Southsiders, I mean literal Southsiders, and then Southwest
went aside. When my dad he was working swings right.
So he was working four to twelve for Chicago Police,
so he would take us to Wrigley Field in the
morning because Socks played at night, Cubs played during the day,
so he'd come home from work about midnight, get up early,
(17:50):
take us down there. In the summer, we'd get in
line about seven in the morning for bleacher seats, first come,
first serve, and then they'd open the gates. We'd all
scramble down so we could sit in the row. And
so we really became Cubs fans. We went to both parks,
but just because of his work schedule. But yeah, I
don't think there was ever a doubt the Pope was
a Socks fan. He just being on the South Side. Hey,
(18:12):
I want to hear the best advice your mother ever
gave you. Three or three someone three eight two five
five text d A N five seven seven three nine.
You're listening to the Dan Kaplis Show podcast. Other's day
three or three someone three eight two five five The
number of text d A N five seven seven three nine.
(18:33):
The danger on the show is that just want to
talk about my mom, right, because I'm sure it's the
same with you, and my mom's been in heaven for
quite a while now two thousand and one. But but
but it's like it happened yesterday, right, I mean, and
I'm sure you have the same bright pictures in your
mind and you can hear these words ringing and yeah,
what a gift. I can't even imagine, my friend. And
(18:55):
it is heartbreaking me to think of folks out there
who lost their mom or for whatever reason, didn't have
their mom and because truly, I cannot even imagine where
I'd be or what I'd be if I didn't have that.
So for folks who didn't have it, you know, I
just admire the heck out of them for anything they accomplished,
because without her, I mean, and I add to you know,
(19:18):
it's just a double lottery win with my two parents.
Three or three someone three eight two five five takes
d a N five seven seven three nine do. I mean,
I don't know that this fits the Mother's Day theme.
But Rodney Dangerfield on a Friday, tough to beat.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
I tell you, I'm all right now. Well, last week
go was our rough shape. You know. Last week I
told my wife, you need a home improvement loan. She
had me one thousand dollars to move out I'll tell
you my wife, there's always something you know. Well, the
other day I called her up. I said to well, honey,
I've been think about last time we had sex. I'm
getting excited. She said, who is this. I'll tell you,
(19:56):
my wife. You never went for me. But the first
time I called her up, she told me kim ono.
But there's nobody at home.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I went over.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
There was nobody at home. My wife. She drives me nuts.
She was afraid of the dog she saw me naked.
Now she's afraid of the light. I'll tell you that's
all I felt.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Is there like Robney Dangerfield equivalent right now? I'm I
mean he thinks of him.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
No, he's one of the games, the original, the one
liner guy.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, oh, I.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Say, Actually, I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. I
mean she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive,
the refrigerator. I'm gonna tell you my wife. She can't
cook either. My house, you pray after we eat. I
bought a pressure cooker. Now I eat off the ceiling
allows he cook. I don't think meat loaf should glow
(20:46):
on a dog.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I mean she can't cook it all.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
She made chocolate moose and that I got stuck on
my throat.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Oh man, yeah, three and three someone three eight, two, five,
five takes d D five seven, seventh or nine. I
can't relate to that, right, I mean I just and
I was just thinking about that as he was playing.
I mean, how incredibly lucky I him because the two
big women and my wife, right, I have three. I
(21:16):
have my mom perfect, my wife perfect, my daughter perfect.
That's that's a big deal. Can you imagine being married
to the wrong person?
Speaker 5 (21:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Can you imagine what you had to be?
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Like? You cannot, but you can not trifecta like you said,
three different generations?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, right, your your wife, your daughter both h three
to three. But but I mean, truly, can you imagine
being married to the wrong person? It would be a nightmare.
I mean kind of like that.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Being well, Rodney Dangerfield just talked about it, but he
was just joking around.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Was he even married? Because Rodney Dangerfield story, did I
tell you?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Oh, yes, he's I'll tell the listener he was married.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I think he was a few times. Man, it wasn't
that night, No, yeah, maybe not. No, I was I
was going out on a cheta case in California, December
twenty seventh, and it was brutal weather out of Chicago,
and I'd been back to see family, so I get stuck.
They got in Vegas, and I'm checking into the Tropicana
at like three in the morning, and then I've got
(22:19):
an early morning flight to my meeting in LA and
I round a corner in the trap and there's Rodney Dangerfield,
And honest to goodness, he's doing the thing with his tie,
you know where, he's shaking it around and he's hitting
on a cocktail waitress. Just this is Surrey. How about this?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
For those details, He was married twice, but married to
his first wife two different times, Joyce Indig. He was
married in nineteen fifty one to this Joyce, divorce in
sixty one, remarried her in sixty three, two years later,
divorce a second time nineteen seventy, and then married a
woman named Joan Child in nineteen ninety three ninety.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Three, Dan, So what year did you encounter him? You
remember for a second, Oh, I should be able to
remember this, yes, roughly, thing for a second, Just need
a second on that. No, late eighties, but then he
was a swinging single guy that late eighties Okay, yeah, yeah,
(23:19):
well yeah he was that night. Good for him. But truly,
I mean, I've just I've got to sit here and
extend my sympathies to anybody man or woman in a
bad marriage, because I cannot even imagine what that would
be like. And I say this just from a very
positive place. I mean, we're going on thirty one years
(23:39):
of tremendous marriage, and wow, how do we get off
on that? We start talking about Mother's Day and others? Yeah, right, right,
and how fortunate I was to have such a great
mom and see, yeah, give us the best advice your
mother ever gave you. I've I've got a bunch more
where all that came from. But well, we've been talking
(24:00):
a lot about the New Pope. I hope if you
get a chance to hear the podcast. My uncle father, Roger,
capitalist Catholic priests from Chicago, was with us in the
four to twenty segment, and he's been a priest sixty
seven years. Back there and getting his perspective on the
new Pope was a lot of fun. But my quick
take is, you know, yesterday tremendous positivity. Everything I learned
(24:23):
overnight even more positive today. So whether you believe in
God or not, whether you're Christian, Catholic, whatever. A really
good pope is really good for the world. And boy,
I think we've got one right here, and a bridge builder,
because you can have right Ryan, you can have bridge
builders who are just kind of milk toast and that
sort of thing. They just don't offend anybody. I don't
(24:45):
think he's going to be one of those. I think
he's going to be high energy, plane spoken, but still
able to build bridges in lots of different ways for
lots of different reasons. So I think there are great
things that head there. Boys. Some more best advice your
mama ever gave you. Some of these are a little
(25:08):
too long. What's yours? Alexa? Alexa? For Kelly today? I
think it was when people show you who they are believe. Yeah, yeah,
I remember vividly. For some reason, guys, my mom telling me,
(25:32):
don't do anything for the approval of others. Just don't
depend on the approval of others for your happiness. Do
the right thing, right, Just don't depend on the approval
of others for your happiness. I just yeah, for some reason,
that one really sticks out to me, and it's very true, right,
I mean, yeah, you look at all the people who
(25:53):
end up just doing the wrong thing or doing nothing
at all just because they're afraid of disapproval. And we're
all human, right, yeah, we all want everybody to approve
of what we do. But if you don't have any enemies,
you're kind of a waste of space, aren't you.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Well, And if you live your life to your mom's
point trying to please others, you're never going to please everybody.
So you got to have your own north star and
follow your true instincts and beliefs and principles, and that'll
be good enough for a lot of people, and maybe
some others it's not. But you got to live according
to your values. And I think that was kind of
a shorter way her way of saying that.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, you know, other great advice, And I'm sure everybody,
I'm sure is thinking of a million different things their
mom told them that was great, But for some reason
these stick out to me. I remember when I was
a little kid, she said, you know, just just treat
Jesus as one of your buddies, Like, just treat them
as like one of your buddies. You're out playing in
the alley with and I just always remember that, and
(26:48):
I thought it was great advice, right because it's just
a I think it's a great way to just bring
it home what it's, what's real, and what it's supposed
to be. So yeah, three someone three eight two five
five the number text d A N five seven seven
three nine. I hope I have time for this, because
I could sit here and play this all afternoon and
be a very happy guy. The single best nine to
(27:11):
one one call I have ever heard this nine one
one call. Raise some myebross. What's your emergency?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah, my watch got attacked by a warthog, real.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Bag, and I need someone to come up with ambulance
and pick her up.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
Okay, sir, can you give me your draft?
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, we're at one eight two five Eucalyptus drive.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Okay, could you spell that for me, sir?
Speaker 6 (27:36):
I'm gonna drag her on over to Oak.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Street and you can pick her up there.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I couldn't spell that street. Could you spell that street?
I need some time. I'd say the same thing. You know,
I'm gonna drive her over to Oak I guess he
said drag I'd probably say I'll carry her over to
Oak But yeah, so that's gonna be it from now on.
Anytime anybody asked me a question, I don't know the
answer to it. I'm just gonna drag her oak three three, seveone,
three eight, two, five five give it to us the
(28:04):
best advice your mother ever gave you. You're on the
Dan Capla Show.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
And now back to the Dan Kaplas Show podcast.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
I'm a little concerned about this choice for the LGBTQ
plus community.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
In twenty twelve, he gave an address to bishops and
talking about the new pope. Why would you be concerned
for the LGBTQ plus community. Why would that concern you?
Because listen, this is a pope who is going to
speak the truth to all of us about where we
(28:41):
are falling short of church teaching. Should he hold back
for any of us? And if so, why see that
that's just a thinking of the world. And what I
think Sonny Hosten doesn't get is that that pope a
(29:02):
Catholic priest. Catholics in general, we're all mail men and
male women. We're postal carriers. We can't change the content
of the male We're just supposed to carry it. So
she wants this pope, then to decide. Okay, No, I'm
not going to speak the truth about church teaching to
(29:23):
Dan because I don't want to offend him where he's
falling short or to the LGBTQ plus community. No, that's
that's just kind of worldly thinking. Three or three seven
three A two five five the number text d An
five seven seven th nine. One of our favorite segments.
We talk about best advice your mama ever gave you,
(29:44):
Timothy from Beautiful Cheyenne. You're on the Dan Kaplis Show. Welcome.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
Oh, thank you, Dan, I appreciate it. He listened to
this real quick story about my mom and I grew
up Catholic. When I was in high school, I started
hanging out with some guy as they smoked, so I
started smoking. Mom asked me about the smell of my
clothes and I denied it, you know that kind of thing.
Then I came clean and said, yeah, mom, but I'm
trying to quick and she said, you remember, Timothy, tell
me who your friends are, and I'll tell you what
(30:10):
you are.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (30:12):
If you're a smoker, if you hang out with smoker friends, good,
you're a smoker. If you're hang out with people that drink,
you're a drinker and so on, So that really stuck
with me.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
That is so good man, Thank you, Timothy. You were
lucky to have a mom that great.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Ryan.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I remember coming home from remember coming home from where
I think I was a college freshman and I was
an Evans Scholar, and so we were working the Western
Open out at Butler and during the summer, and so
because that tournament benefited the Evan Scholar Foundation, golf caddies
sink at the movie Caddyshack, and so i'm I go home.
(30:50):
I'd had a couple of like, do you remember paps?
Do you ever drink paps? Sure? Okay? Packs? Blue ribbon, yeah,
kind of like hams from the Land of Sky Blue Waters.
But anyway, I'd had a couple and not a big drinker,
never was. But I came home and I couldn't stop
laughing because my mom was trying to find out if
(31:13):
I'd been drinking. Couldn't stop laughing, And then I remember
her yelling at me, I did not raise my son
to be a beer drinking giggler. And that just stuck
in my mind for my whole life. I didn't raise
my son to be a beer drinking giggler. But it's
better or worse than a giggling beer.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Drinker, a beer drinking giggle.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
That's a beer drinking giggler. And you can imagine I
stopped giggling right then I would laughed. I did. A
dead man would have giggled at that, but which did
not help my plight at that point. Sure did not.
But that's what great moms do, right, I mean, they
they just they want to keep you on the straight
and narrow. I don't know how many times she said
(32:00):
to me, you're better than that, you're a capitalist. Yeah,
I'm sure you heard the same thing. Probably everybody has. Right,
you're better than that, you're a shooling. She wasn't all
about the last name. But yeah, you're better than that,
you better be. You'm going to hear it from her, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
But she was a fighter, man. I remember I got
falsely accused in fifth or sixth grade and taken to
(32:23):
the convent and had to stay in the convent all day.
In fact, I got tied up. Somebody had written Michelle
Hanrahan as a Michelle is a sex pot on Michelle
Hanrahan's book cover Scandalous. Fifth grade, so I got I
was falsely accused, and then I got tied up. I
(32:44):
got tied to a chair in the front of the classroom, blindfolded.
Made a tactical error because when Michelle came walking by,
I grabbed a pen and jabbed during the leg. So anyway,
I get taken to the convent, and I'm to stay
in the convent, and they called up my mom, and
(33:05):
I'll never forget. She comes up into the convent. She said, Dan,
did you do it? Talking about writing that thing about
Michelle being a sexpot. We didn't get into the staff, Dan,
did you do that? I said, no, I did not.
I remember looking sister right in the eye and saying,
my son would not lie. My son didn't do that.
I'm taking him home. And so I've always appreciated her
(33:29):
standing up for me because I did not do it.
I did not do it. I don't blame sister. She
had every reason to suspect I would have. But yeah,
so all of us who had great moms couldn't be
more grateful for it. And yeah, we'll have to get
to some more of this advice in the next show.
Here's a great one best advice my mom gave me
(33:51):
at the end of your life. You will regret the
things you did not do, not the things you did.
What is the one thing Ryan? I mean, because none
of us want to die with what ifs? Right? What
is the one thing you want to make sure you
do before you meet your maker? Wow? Travel internationally.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
I've only been in North America in my life.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I thought you were going to say world peace. I
want to go to Ireland. You're at your home country.
Oh you would enjoy that and they would enjoy you. Yeah,
I think they would. I hope they would. That would
be a good time, Alexai. Thanks for filling in today.
Thanks for that. Hey, it's going to be I think
like the most spectacular Mother's Day weekend ever. Eighties both days.
(34:31):
I just bright blue sky, enjoy every minute. Nuggets game tonight.
Can't wait because they're Manhood's at steak. They've been called out,
so we're going to get their best tonight. Looking forward
to that. Let's get together Monday at four on the
dan Kapla shelf
This is Dan Caples and welcome to today's online podcast
edition of The Dan Caplis Show. Please be sure to
give us a five star rating if you'd be so kind,
and to subscribe, download, and listen to the show every
single day on your favorite podcast platform. Probably fighting, we're winning.
That's fun too, right five oh five, On this glorious
Friday afternoon before Mother's Day, I think we're going to
(00:22):
have ryan probably the nicest Mother's Day weekend we have
in decades. Eighty tomorrow, just sunshine straight through cloud or
two on Mother's Day Hive eighty four, Monday eighty six.
Maybe a couple of clouds doesn't look like anything funky
at all next week, So hey, spring U sprong, let's
enjoy it at some point during this hour. In fact,
(00:43):
let's just start it now, throwing calls whenever you'd like.
On this we do it the Friday before every Mother's
Day show. We should probably do it every day. And
that is the best advice your mother ever gave you,
because it's amazing, right that we have such collective wisdom
within our audience. When you think of all the people
on our audience and so all the people who had
mothers and all of the wisdom from those mothers, and
(01:04):
then our callers boil it down to maybe, you know,
the top gem that they got from their mother, or
maybe the top two. So it's a really fun and
helpful show each year when we do that. So fire
it will or you can taxt d an five seven
seven three nine three or three someone three eight two
five five. I'm kind of a throwback. I love the callers,
but one way or the other, we'll get your mama's
(01:26):
wisdom onto the show. And my mom had so much
I just don't want to hog the at on this.
She just had so much great wisdom. And my dad too,
of course, right, but boy, and my mom was she
could have been anything, CEO of anything. She she decided
to stay home with us, and so we got that
(01:46):
wisdom from her all the time, sometimes accompanied by a uh,
you know, some firm physical encouragement. But boy, what a
devoted mom, all right, he three or three someone three
eight two five five text D five seven seven three nine.
And a great one is I go to the phone
lines and text, hey, we're talking a lot about you know,
we're learning more and more about the Pope. We talked
(02:07):
about a lot yesterday and just more and more reason
to believe that what I said yesterday is true and
what I felt, and I really I'm sure you the
same way. I just truly trust and rely on my intuition.
And it's not perfect, because no human's perfect, but it's
better than anything else, and it's really good. And so
I just have this overpowering feeling that this pope is
(02:29):
going to be one of the superstar popes, you know,
the John Paul the Great kind of popes, and they'll
only be one John Paul the Great. But I think
this pope, I think he's going to be. I think
he's going to be a courageous, energetic, plane spoken bridge peacemaker.
(02:50):
I think he's perfectly positioned to as my uncle said,
father Roger capitalist priest for sixty seven years in Chicago,
still doing multiple masses a week. He joined us at
four twenty. You can him off the pod. This is
kind of a perfect pope to serve as a bridge
between different factions while at the same time not being
milk toast. And yeah, I think there are great things
(03:13):
that had there. And even if you don't have any faith,
no matter of different faith, the world is still greatly
affected by a great pope, and I think we got
one here, Dan and Arvada. You're on the dan kaplosh'll welcome.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Hey, Dan, I really enjoy listening to you debate people
that have different facts than yours. Oh, the last color Warren,
the last color Warren. Absolutely when you flate him on
the facts, then he diverted and deflected to the Mexico border.
(03:48):
Why didn't you Why didn't Ukraine or Russia invade Ukraine
during Trump You pretty much didn't have an answer, and
it was just hilarious to listen to him.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh, let's talk about Mexico now. And you know the
thing about Warrantine just a quick note, because he's called before.
There's no doubt in my mind about ther masarity of
his belief and he just really believes that that Russia
had a right to be concerned about Ukraine. And I
will just always come back to the point that that
that doesn't justify rape and pillage, it doesn't justify the invasion.
(04:24):
And listen, I'm sure trying. And I don't fault. I
don't fault to Russian people. I just think Vladimir Putin
is one of the most evil men to ever live.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You're right, You're right, have a good weekend.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Hey you two man, thank you, have a great Mother's
Day weekend. And best advice for mom. I just want
to throw one out there to sort of get it going.
There's so much good advice, but to me, I'll just
start kind of with the clock, right, just like when
the first thing woke up in the morning. She would
always say, first thing, when you wake up in the morning,
think of the five things you're eight full four and
(05:01):
the five things you're looking for to that day. And
that was just such a tremendous habit to get into, right,
because it's you know people. It didn't Lincoln say, Ryan,
you're up on all this dead president's stuff. Didn't Lincoln
say that people are as happy as they decide to be.
So it's what you And this is a Tony Robbins
thing now, right, He's made his bones on this. What
(05:22):
are you going to focus on? Like right now, Ryan
Schuling could probably think of five things to focus on
to make them happy or no matter how well your
day's going, five things you could focus on to make
you sad. Yeah, Well, and you've got Alexa, so that's yeah,
not that you wouldn't be happy with Kelly.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Right, but Alex is a nice bonus. Yeah, well Kelly
can't make it.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
But but yeah, so I just think that was great
advice from my mom. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
My mom was more kind of practical, street smart type stuff,
and she was great at.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
It, like hit him in the Adams Eppo, not like.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
On the streets. I mean she was from River Rouge.
I wasn't tough down over Detroit. But one of the
ones that I've used in my life and it's worked
almost every time, is you go into a car dealership
and they're trying to sell you a car, and they
give you a price, walk out, just leave, just leave,
and milk call back his darn toot. And she was
absolutely right, Oh, we can do something else for you.
(06:17):
Oh why couldn't you do that when I was there before? Wow,
that was another day that's impressed. Oh yeah that you know.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
One of the most powerful memories of my mom is
we're at seventy six oh five South Aberdeen, heart of
the South Side of Chicago. The neighborhood is is it's changing,
it's changing racially, and there's a lot of racial tension,
and we're just a summer night we're all out in
front of my dad's working swings, so he's not there,
all the kids playing out in front, and then all
(06:44):
of a sudden, bang bang bang bang bang, and they're
just bullets slamming off the house and my mom just
as calm as she could be. Okay, kids, time to
go in, and just it just kind of hurts us
into the house, bang in, big big bang, and he's
just incredibly calm. And yeah, she was just amazing. And
(07:08):
that's why you hear it. My uncle when he joined
us at four twenty. Just the strengths, you know what
I mean, Just the strength that I'm not saying Chicago's
the only place you have strong people, but just growing
up there and my uncle a priests there for sixty
seven years. The weather will make you strong if nothing else.
You guys, spend any time in Chicago, Oh yeah, lots
of time. When I came out here, it took me
like an hour to say, literally, thank you God, I
(07:30):
have gone to heaven. When you come out here and
you got the weather and you got the beauty, who
would ever come here and leave? Eh? It's a good question.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
And what I was wondering too, and listening to your
phenomenal uncle. Again that he is ninety three. There are
listeners that are texting in that still don't believe that either.
Oh man, But just what his relationship was like with
your father?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
They were brothers, right, oh yeah, yeah, yeah? Yeah? Were
they close? Oh yeah? But competitive in the sense that
I mean my dad was a star athlete. He played
it to Paul under ray Meyer. I mean he played
big time college basketball and went to Leo and was
a star there. And father Raj was a super star priest.
I mean, like he was before this became a thing. Man,
(08:09):
he was the CBS commentator. So I can't remember which pope,
but he was one of the first priest to ever
be on TV doing color commentary for religious stuff. Wow. Yeah, No,
he was super star priest and he still is. They
still pack the church for him. He's incredible. And you
know what the you know one thing he does great,
I mean the homilyes thing seven minutes, but it's brilliant.
(08:31):
It's one point tells a joke gets out of there,
but he gives people an important message.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Less is more and brevity is the soul of wit.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Well, there's no question about it. It's the danger of diffusion. Right,
you got a good point to make. Rian's very good
at this in a show. He does a great show
two to four in the Denver market each day. But
you got a great point to make. Make the darn
point and get out of there. Don't don't diffuse the
value of the point, making three or four other points
the way I do. You know, Just just make your
(08:59):
good point, get out of there. It's uh, yeah, he's
very good at that as a priest, and he was
great at our wedding. He was great at our wedding too.
It was very very privileged that he was there. And
Cardinal Stafford then an archbishop, and man, I'm going to
get Thierry here with all these great memories three or
(09:21):
three someone three eight two five five text d A
N five seven seven three nine. I really want to
get start getting some of those best advice your mom
ever gave you. Alexa just gave us one. Be brilliant,
be brief, be gone. And what context was that offered
when you're speaking speaking to the c suite of executives. Yeah,
(09:46):
you just say what you need to say. Yeah, make
a brilliant point, keep it short and leave.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
No.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
That is such a great point. It's like a priest
when I was in the seminary told me, which is
always leave him wanting more. I thought it was a
great point. It might be some situations that doesn't apply to,
but it applies to almost every Maybe it applies to everything. Dan,
(10:13):
my mom used to say, be careful what you wish for.
There's some truth in that, I guess, depending on what
you're wishing for. So, hey, we want to come back,
and we'll continue with hot sound. I do promise I
spaced it. I'll deliver when we come back, the single
greatest nine to one one call you've ever heard. I
don't think anybody will disagree with that once they hear it.
(10:33):
It's going to introduce a new phrase into pop culture.
And then we'll just do a whole bunch of best
advice your mother ever gave you. Three or three someone
three eight two five five text d A N five
seven seven three nine And now back to the Dan
Kaplas Show podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
A man should not play sports against women. I'm not
going to get into all the book that's going on
out here in the world today. If anybody think that,
I think they're stupid. I'm not, like I said, I
support the gay community one hundred percent. I support the
transgender community one hundred percent. But I do, not, under
any circumstances on zero think that men should play sports
(11:15):
against women. And if anybody have a problem with that,
they're gonna have to get over it, because I'm not
going to change my I'm not going to change I
just think is wrong period.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
How can anybody argue with that? Right? And I sure
hope whoever the GOP nominee is for governor in Colorado,
for Senator in Colorado, they better pound that issue home
and because it's a great way of exposing their opponent
and who their opponent really is. Simple, Okay, should men
play women's sports? Should boys play girl sports? Should boys
(11:46):
be in girls' locker rooms? Should boys be in girls showers?
I mean, just expose the opponent that way, right, because
this is one hundred to zero issue when just thinking
about right and wrong. But the Democrat candidates won't be
able to break from the insane position that the Democratic
parties committed to. So I sure hope, I sure hope
(12:07):
that has hit very.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Hard even the way Charles said it. Though Dan I
mentioned this on my program earlier because I was sitting
there listening to him, and I agree. But the pro
trans women in Women's Spaces and sports movement would say,
of course Charles is right, men shouldn't, but trans women
are women and they should be allowed to participate in
the sports and enter the spaces and change in the
locker rooms where women are because that's how identify they
(12:29):
identify and their women.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Is there one person on the face of the other
stupid enough to believe that. I think a lot of
people believe that. Oh they don't. I mean to look
at the overwhelming success of the Trump ady. Why do
you think they spend one hundred and eighty million dollars
on it? Right? I mean, why would they have? That
was the most effective political ad in our lifetimes?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Granted, Dan, why did thirteen twelve just pass the Colorado
General Assembly?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Because the General Assembly doesn't give a darn what the
people of Colorado think or want. I'm being literal here.
They don't Ryan, right, they think they're politically bulletproof, then
why do they do it though?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I mean, just to flaunt that fact that we're politically
bullet for so we'll do the craziest blank ever and
get away with it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, Because all the big money in the Democratic Party now,
and a lot of it's national money, but also some
Colorado money is on the hardcore radical secular left. That's
where the big money's coming from. So the attitude of
Colorado Democrats is that if you win the primary, you're
going to win the race, and the money to win
the primary is going to come from these hardcore radical
(13:33):
secular leftists, most of them national, and so that's why
they're doing all this insane stuff. And look at Mike Johnston.
He used to be saying he used to so we
disagreed about plenty of things, but he used to be saying,
he'd come on the show all the time, we'd have
these conversations. And now look at the guy. You can't
(13:54):
even recognize him intellectually. I mean, his hair still realize,
and he's got that going for him, but you can't
even recognize him just all this insane, crazy stuff. Doesn't
he start speeches now saying he could be talking about
four people just had their heads cut off on the mall,
and he'll start the speech with I stand here recognizing
we're on hollow ground that at one point was owned
(14:15):
by the Eskimos. I mean that's what he does.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I just couldn't believe. Maybe I should have believed it, Dan,
But to your point, when he held that mini press
conference on the sixteenth Street mall after the flight attendant
woman had been stabbed, lord death and he was talking
about fat.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Lap oh, he was doing a victory lap just yards
from where she almost hit her hut head cut off.
Unreal but in all fairness, the greatest performance ever by
a signer, right, remember that, because because Johnston rolled out
the signer who could sign for deaf people. And then
when a heckler came by walking down the mall calling
(14:52):
Johnston every name in the book, much of it very accurate,
the signer, God love him, he just signed all that
he made, the face he made the faces, he signed
the names. And I never even knew you could sign
some of those swear words. But hey, I promised this,
and you can imagine what those signs look like. But
(15:12):
this is the greatest nine to one one call you
will ever hear. And then we're doing the best advice
your mother ever gave you. Text at DA N five
seven seventy three nine er call, greatest nine to one
one call ever. This nine one one call raise some eyebrows. Nine,
what's your emergency?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Yeah, my wat got attacked by a warthog.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Real bad and I need someone to come up with
ambulance and pick her up.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Okay, sir, can you give me your draft?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Uh? Yeah, we're at one eight two five eucalyptus drive.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Okay, could you spell that for me?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Sir?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I'm gonna drag her on over to Oak Street and
you can.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Pick her up there.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
That's that's gonna become the new response anytime anybody doesn't
know the answer to something. I don't fault him. I
couldn't spell that word, but yeah, I'll just drag her
over to Oak Oak minutes and the wardhog thing. I
think that's a pretty rare injury. Yeah out, Yeah, best
(16:13):
advice my mom. Here's one best advice my mom ever
gave me. Girl, Once you start having children, you better
eat while you're cooking because that's the last hot meal
you'll ever have. That's good practical advice. He got it
like that, Dan, My mom always told me never worry
about things you can't control. That's pretty darn good advice too,
(16:36):
So yeah, I want to hear from me on that. Plus,
you can call us the old fashioned waight three oh
three someone three eight two five five the number amazing.
I just saw yeah, because when my uncle was on,
Father Roger Caplis, he was on to talk about the
new Pope because father Ogi's been a priest in Chicago
sixty seven years. He made a comment about, yeah, you
know that there's about the Pope being at the Socks game.
(16:57):
And during the break, I was watching Ryan What are
the odds? Game? One of that two thousand and five
World Series Socks Astros. They do one of those crowd
cuts and they zero in on him and he wasn't
in a collar or anything. He was just in the
stands watching the game. What are the odds they would
zero in on him? That's great. So I think that
answers the question. He is a Socks fan, but virtually
(17:20):
every Southsider is right.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Well, yeah, they're honest about it. But you know, it's
really hard to be a white Sox fan these days.
The only team worse than them is the Rockies.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah. But the funny thing for us was because my dad,
we were Southsiders, I mean literal Southsiders, and then Southwest
went aside. When my dad he was working swings right.
So he was working four to twelve for Chicago Police,
so he would take us to Wrigley Field in the
morning because Socks played at night, Cubs played during the day,
so he'd come home from work about midnight, get up early,
(17:50):
take us down there. In the summer, we'd get in
line about seven in the morning for bleacher seats, first come,
first serve, and then they'd open the gates. We'd all
scramble down so we could sit in the row. And
so we really became Cubs fans. We went to both parks,
but just because of his work schedule. But yeah, I
don't think there was ever a doubt the Pope was
a Socks fan. He just being on the South Side. Hey,
(18:12):
I want to hear the best advice your mother ever
gave you. Three or three someone three eight two five
five text d A N five seven seven three nine.
You're listening to the Dan Kaplis Show podcast. Other's day
three or three someone three eight two five five The
number of text d A N five seven seven three nine.
(18:33):
The danger on the show is that just want to
talk about my mom, right, because I'm sure it's the
same with you, and my mom's been in heaven for
quite a while now two thousand and one. But but
but it's like it happened yesterday, right, I mean, and
I'm sure you have the same bright pictures in your
mind and you can hear these words ringing and yeah,
what a gift. I can't even imagine, my friend. And
(18:55):
it is heartbreaking me to think of folks out there
who lost their mom or for whatever reason, didn't have
their mom and because truly, I cannot even imagine where
I'd be or what I'd be if I didn't have that.
So for folks who didn't have it, you know, I
just admire the heck out of them for anything they accomplished,
because without her, I mean, and I add to you know,
(19:18):
it's just a double lottery win with my two parents.
Three or three someone three eight two five five takes
d a N five seven seven three nine do. I mean,
I don't know that this fits the Mother's Day theme.
But Rodney Dangerfield on a Friday, tough to beat.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
I tell you, I'm all right now. Well, last week
go was our rough shape. You know. Last week I
told my wife, you need a home improvement loan. She
had me one thousand dollars to move out I'll tell
you my wife, there's always something you know. Well, the
other day I called her up. I said to well, honey,
I've been think about last time we had sex. I'm
getting excited. She said, who is this. I'll tell you,
(19:56):
my wife. You never went for me. But the first
time I called her up, she told me kim ono.
But there's nobody at home.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I went over.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
There was nobody at home. My wife. She drives me nuts.
She was afraid of the dog she saw me naked.
Now she's afraid of the light. I'll tell you that's
all I felt.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Is there like Robney Dangerfield equivalent right now? I'm I
mean he thinks of him.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
No, he's one of the games, the original, the one
liner guy.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, oh, I.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Say, Actually, I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. I
mean she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive,
the refrigerator. I'm gonna tell you my wife. She can't
cook either. My house, you pray after we eat. I
bought a pressure cooker. Now I eat off the ceiling
allows he cook. I don't think meat loaf should glow
(20:46):
on a dog.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I mean she can't cook it all.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
She made chocolate moose and that I got stuck on
my throat.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Oh man, yeah, three and three someone three eight, two, five,
five takes d D five seven, seventh or nine. I
can't relate to that, right, I mean I just and
I was just thinking about that as he was playing.
I mean, how incredibly lucky I him because the two
big women and my wife, right, I have three. I
(21:16):
have my mom perfect, my wife perfect, my daughter perfect.
That's that's a big deal. Can you imagine being married
to the wrong person?
Speaker 5 (21:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Can you imagine what you had to be?
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Like? You cannot, but you can not trifecta like you said,
three different generations?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, right, your your wife, your daughter both h three
to three. But but I mean, truly, can you imagine
being married to the wrong person? It would be a nightmare.
I mean kind of like that.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Being well, Rodney Dangerfield just talked about it, but he
was just joking around.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Was he even married? Because Rodney Dangerfield story, did I
tell you?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Oh, yes, he's I'll tell the listener he was married.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I think he was a few times. Man, it wasn't
that night, No, yeah, maybe not. No, I was I
was going out on a cheta case in California, December
twenty seventh, and it was brutal weather out of Chicago,
and I'd been back to see family, so I get stuck.
They got in Vegas, and I'm checking into the Tropicana
at like three in the morning, and then I've got
(22:19):
an early morning flight to my meeting in LA and
I round a corner in the trap and there's Rodney Dangerfield,
And honest to goodness, he's doing the thing with his tie,
you know where, he's shaking it around and he's hitting
on a cocktail waitress. Just this is Surrey. How about this?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
For those details, He was married twice, but married to
his first wife two different times, Joyce Indig. He was
married in nineteen fifty one to this Joyce, divorce in
sixty one, remarried her in sixty three, two years later,
divorce a second time nineteen seventy, and then married a
woman named Joan Child in nineteen ninety three ninety.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Three, Dan, So what year did you encounter him? You
remember for a second, Oh, I should be able to
remember this, yes, roughly, thing for a second, Just need
a second on that. No, late eighties, but then he
was a swinging single guy that late eighties Okay, yeah, yeah,
(23:19):
well yeah he was that night. Good for him. But truly,
I mean, I've just I've got to sit here and
extend my sympathies to anybody man or woman in a
bad marriage, because I cannot even imagine what that would
be like. And I say this just from a very
positive place. I mean, we're going on thirty one years
(23:39):
of tremendous marriage, and wow, how do we get off
on that? We start talking about Mother's Day and others? Yeah, right, right,
and how fortunate I was to have such a great
mom and see, yeah, give us the best advice your
mother ever gave you. I've I've got a bunch more
where all that came from. But well, we've been talking
(24:00):
a lot about the New Pope. I hope if you
get a chance to hear the podcast. My uncle father, Roger,
capitalist Catholic priests from Chicago, was with us in the
four to twenty segment, and he's been a priest sixty
seven years. Back there and getting his perspective on the
new Pope was a lot of fun. But my quick
take is, you know, yesterday tremendous positivity. Everything I learned
(24:23):
overnight even more positive today. So whether you believe in
God or not, whether you're Christian, Catholic, whatever. A really
good pope is really good for the world. And boy,
I think we've got one right here, and a bridge builder,
because you can have right Ryan, you can have bridge
builders who are just kind of milk toast and that
sort of thing. They just don't offend anybody. I don't
(24:45):
think he's going to be one of those. I think
he's going to be high energy, plane spoken, but still
able to build bridges in lots of different ways for
lots of different reasons. So I think there are great
things that head there. Boys. Some more best advice your
mama ever gave you. Some of these are a little
(25:08):
too long. What's yours? Alexa? Alexa? For Kelly today? I
think it was when people show you who they are believe. Yeah, yeah,
I remember vividly. For some reason, guys, my mom telling me,
(25:32):
don't do anything for the approval of others. Just don't
depend on the approval of others for your happiness. Do
the right thing, right, Just don't depend on the approval
of others for your happiness. I just yeah, for some reason,
that one really sticks out to me, and it's very true, right,
I mean, yeah, you look at all the people who
(25:53):
end up just doing the wrong thing or doing nothing
at all just because they're afraid of disapproval. And we're
all human, right, yeah, we all want everybody to approve
of what we do. But if you don't have any enemies,
you're kind of a waste of space, aren't you.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Well, And if you live your life to your mom's
point trying to please others, you're never going to please everybody.
So you got to have your own north star and
follow your true instincts and beliefs and principles, and that'll
be good enough for a lot of people, and maybe
some others it's not. But you got to live according
to your values. And I think that was kind of
a shorter way her way of saying that.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, you know, other great advice, And I'm sure everybody,
I'm sure is thinking of a million different things their
mom told them that was great, But for some reason
these stick out to me. I remember when I was
a little kid, she said, you know, just just treat
Jesus as one of your buddies, Like, just treat them
as like one of your buddies. You're out playing in
the alley with and I just always remember that, and
(26:48):
I thought it was great advice, right because it's just
a I think it's a great way to just bring
it home what it's, what's real, and what it's supposed
to be. So yeah, three someone three eight two five
five the number text d A N five seven seven
three nine. I hope I have time for this, because
I could sit here and play this all afternoon and
be a very happy guy. The single best nine to
(27:11):
one one call I have ever heard this nine one
one call. Raise some myebross. What's your emergency?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah, my watch got attacked by a warthog, real.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Bag, and I need someone to come up with ambulance
and pick her up.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
Okay, sir, can you give me your draft?
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, we're at one eight two five Eucalyptus drive.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Okay, could you spell that for me, sir?
Speaker 6 (27:36):
I'm gonna drag her on over to Oak.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Street and you can pick her up there.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I couldn't spell that street. Could you spell that street?
I need some time. I'd say the same thing. You know,
I'm gonna drive her over to Oak I guess he
said drag I'd probably say I'll carry her over to
Oak But yeah, so that's gonna be it from now on.
Anytime anybody asked me a question, I don't know the
answer to it. I'm just gonna drag her oak three three, seveone,
three eight, two, five five give it to us the
(28:04):
best advice your mother ever gave you. You're on the
Dan Capla Show.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
And now back to the Dan Kaplas Show podcast.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
I'm a little concerned about this choice for the LGBTQ
plus community.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
In twenty twelve, he gave an address to bishops and
talking about the new pope. Why would you be concerned
for the LGBTQ plus community. Why would that concern you?
Because listen, this is a pope who is going to
speak the truth to all of us about where we
(28:41):
are falling short of church teaching. Should he hold back
for any of us? And if so, why see that
that's just a thinking of the world. And what I
think Sonny Hosten doesn't get is that that pope a
(29:02):
Catholic priest. Catholics in general, we're all mail men and
male women. We're postal carriers. We can't change the content
of the male We're just supposed to carry it. So
she wants this pope, then to decide. Okay, No, I'm
not going to speak the truth about church teaching to
(29:23):
Dan because I don't want to offend him where he's
falling short or to the LGBTQ plus community. No, that's
that's just kind of worldly thinking. Three or three seven
three A two five five the number text d An
five seven seven th nine. One of our favorite segments.
We talk about best advice your mama ever gave you,
(29:44):
Timothy from Beautiful Cheyenne. You're on the Dan Kaplis Show. Welcome.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
Oh, thank you, Dan, I appreciate it. He listened to
this real quick story about my mom and I grew
up Catholic. When I was in high school, I started
hanging out with some guy as they smoked, so I
started smoking. Mom asked me about the smell of my
clothes and I denied it, you know that kind of thing.
Then I came clean and said, yeah, mom, but I'm
trying to quick and she said, you remember, Timothy, tell
me who your friends are, and I'll tell you what
(30:10):
you are.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (30:12):
If you're a smoker, if you hang out with smoker friends, good,
you're a smoker. If you're hang out with people that drink,
you're a drinker and so on, So that really stuck
with me.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
That is so good man, Thank you, Timothy. You were
lucky to have a mom that great.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Ryan.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I remember coming home from remember coming home from where
I think I was a college freshman and I was
an Evans Scholar, and so we were working the Western
Open out at Butler and during the summer, and so
because that tournament benefited the Evan Scholar Foundation, golf caddies
sink at the movie Caddyshack, and so i'm I go home.
(30:50):
I'd had a couple of like, do you remember paps?
Do you ever drink paps? Sure? Okay? Packs? Blue ribbon, yeah,
kind of like hams from the Land of Sky Blue Waters.
But anyway, I'd had a couple and not a big drinker,
never was. But I came home and I couldn't stop
laughing because my mom was trying to find out if
(31:13):
I'd been drinking. Couldn't stop laughing, And then I remember
her yelling at me, I did not raise my son
to be a beer drinking giggler. And that just stuck
in my mind for my whole life. I didn't raise
my son to be a beer drinking giggler. But it's
better or worse than a giggling beer.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Drinker, a beer drinking giggle.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
That's a beer drinking giggler. And you can imagine I
stopped giggling right then I would laughed. I did. A
dead man would have giggled at that, but which did
not help my plight at that point. Sure did not.
But that's what great moms do, right, I mean, they
they just they want to keep you on the straight
and narrow. I don't know how many times she said
(32:00):
to me, you're better than that, you're a capitalist. Yeah,
I'm sure you heard the same thing. Probably everybody has. Right,
you're better than that, you're a shooling. She wasn't all
about the last name. But yeah, you're better than that,
you better be. You'm going to hear it from her, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
But she was a fighter, man. I remember I got
falsely accused in fifth or sixth grade and taken to
(32:23):
the convent and had to stay in the convent all day.
In fact, I got tied up. Somebody had written Michelle
Hanrahan as a Michelle is a sex pot on Michelle
Hanrahan's book cover Scandalous. Fifth grade, so I got I
was falsely accused, and then I got tied up. I
(32:44):
got tied to a chair in the front of the classroom, blindfolded.
Made a tactical error because when Michelle came walking by,
I grabbed a pen and jabbed during the leg. So anyway,
I get taken to the convent, and I'm to stay
in the convent, and they called up my mom, and
(33:05):
I'll never forget. She comes up into the convent. She said, Dan,
did you do it? Talking about writing that thing about
Michelle being a sexpot. We didn't get into the staff, Dan,
did you do that? I said, no, I did not.
I remember looking sister right in the eye and saying,
my son would not lie. My son didn't do that.
I'm taking him home. And so I've always appreciated her
(33:29):
standing up for me because I did not do it.
I did not do it. I don't blame sister. She
had every reason to suspect I would have. But yeah,
so all of us who had great moms couldn't be
more grateful for it. And yeah, we'll have to get
to some more of this advice in the next show.
Here's a great one best advice my mom gave me
(33:51):
at the end of your life. You will regret the
things you did not do, not the things you did.
What is the one thing Ryan? I mean, because none
of us want to die with what ifs? Right? What
is the one thing you want to make sure you
do before you meet your maker? Wow? Travel internationally.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
I've only been in North America in my life.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I thought you were going to say world peace. I
want to go to Ireland. You're at your home country.
Oh you would enjoy that and they would enjoy you. Yeah,
I think they would. I hope they would. That would
be a good time, Alexai. Thanks for filling in today.
Thanks for that. Hey, it's going to be I think
like the most spectacular Mother's Day weekend ever. Eighties both days.
(34:31):
I just bright blue sky, enjoy every minute. Nuggets game tonight.
Can't wait because they're Manhood's at steak. They've been called out,
so we're going to get their best tonight. Looking forward
to that. Let's get together Monday at four on the
dan Kapla shelf
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