Why aren’t we talking about this

Why aren’t we talking about this

Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human. Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Episodes

September 30, 2026 • 35 mins

I seem to have two camps of friends. Broadly, there are the ones who’ve been in very long-term relationships, and then there are the ones who’ve recently become single and seem to be on this amazing mission to rediscover themselves. They’re trying things, changing their minds, getting curious and, quite frankly, looking like they’re having a lot of fun.

Permission to change. Permi...

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For most of us, psychedelics come with a lot of baggage. Drugs. Hippies. Bad trips. Losing control.

Yet, there’s another conversation happening around them. One about perspective, identity, creativity, connection and what can happen when the patterns we’ve spent years living inside suddenly become a little less fixed.

In this episode I’m joined by Nasreen El-Mariesh, transformational coach, certified Psychedelic I...

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“Enjoy your break.” It’s such a normal thing to say to someone going on maternity leave, except maternity leave isn’t really a break at all. It’s a period of enormous change, and underneath all the excitement there can be a much messier set of feelings we don’t talk about nearly enough. Will my job still be there when I get back? What if my maternity cover is better than ...

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There’s something slightly uncomfortable about saying, out loud, that you want more. More money. More success. More adventure. A bigger business. A bigger life. Because surely we should be grateful for what we already have? I realised during this conversation how often I’ve downplayed things I desperately wanted because I didn’t want to seem greedy, ungrateful or a bit too big for my boots. But maybe wanting more ...

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We spend a lot of our lives learning how to be good at things. We learn how to do our jobs, manage our money, raise children, cook, exercise, communicate better, sleep better. There is a book, podcast, course or expert ready to teach us pretty much anything we could possibly want to know.

Sex, though? Apparently we’re just supposed to know.

We get taught the mechanics at school. We ab...

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I'll be honest, my first reaction was suspicion.

When Lorna Lyons told me she had a thriving business, earned well, and wasn't grinding every single day, something in me bristled.

Is she a con...

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"She's so resilient. She's got it all together."

That's the badge. And for a lot of high-functioning women, it's the thing that almost destroys them.

When you've spent years accepting that label- being the one who copes, who holds it together, who doesn't quit and admitting you're not coping becomes almost impossible. And shameful. You're supposed to be the one who handles everything.

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"LinkedIn is a jealousy machine pretending to be a motivation machine."

Ooofff.. yep.

Award season rolls around. Amazing job announcements. That campaign you wish you'd thought of. Everyone "thrilled, delighted, and excited."

And you're sitting there feeling hot with rage wondering what's wrong with you.

Nothing is wrong with you.

This is a live rec...

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“Women, it's older women, and then it's urine- it’s the triple yuck”

This is probably the most important conversation that I have had this year. I can not express how crucial it is that we change the whole narrative around this.

50% of women will experience them, 30% will have recurring infections and 30% of sepsis deaths in women started as a UTI. The scale of the issue ...

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Sometimes a book finds you at exactly the moment you need it and Chaos was that for me.

We all experience it. Those moments where everything feels uncertain, where something is shifting, ending, or asking more of you and your instinct is to resist it. To panic. To or at least in my case, go straight to the very worst possibility. 

But what if that’s not what’s happening at ...

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This week, we are doing something a bit different. I am talking about me. Why did I, at 41, decide to start a podcast… and start sharing stories about myself, revealing insecurities, and basically how despite now being an adult for over half my life I have no idea how to adult.

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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely d...

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Stories are how we make sense of what’s happening to us.

But when something hard hits, most of us go quiet. We tell ourselves we’ll share it later- when we understand it, when it feels less raw, when there’s a neat ending.

So we carry it alone. But silence has weight. And it makes heavy things feel heavier. Because there’s something that happens when someone tells the truth in real time. Not to fix it. Not t...

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We’ve normalised something quite strange.

We take photos of our children constantly. First steps, first days of school, the in-between moments that feel too important to lose. And then we share them. Not always widely, not always publicly, but enough that those images start to exist beyond us.

And on the surface, it all feels harmless. It feels like love, like connection, like a way of holding onto time as it moves.

But under...

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Everywhere you turn there’s judgement - do less, do more, be thinner, be softer, be stronger, be quieter, be grateful, be better. Society hands women a script and calls it choice, and we follow it: staying in careers that drain us, making life decisions to avoid criticism, having children or not having them based on what will be easiest to explain. At this point, so many of our choices aren’t even ours anymore; they&rsq...

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Grief. There is no one way to do it.

And yet, when you’re in the thick of it, it’s so easy to feel like you’re getting it wrong - too much, too little, too emotional, too functional. Carrying on when you think you shouldn’t. Falling apart when you think you should be coping better.

Grief is messy. Layered. Multifaceted. No two versions look the same. And the feeling...

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Infertility is a complex topic. And while conversations and support around it have come a long way in the 9 years since I went through IVF, there’s still one side that remains largely closed off. Male infertility.

It’s often framed clinically. Numbers. Tests. Procedures. Analysis.

But emotionally, it hits something much deeper.

For many men, fertility is tangled up...

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We live in a world overflowing with health advice. Protocols. Hacks. Blueprints for the “perfect” routine. Everyone seems to have a plan, a stack, a morning routine that promises optimisation and longevity.

And yet, most of us (and I raise my hand here) are still exhausted, disconnected, inflamed, wired, under-fed, over-stimulated, under-rested.

We’re not short on informat...

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I’d guess around 70-80% of people are somewhat miserable in their jobs.

Many have done well - climbed the ladder, earned the big title,  but sit there day after day, quietly hating everything about it. 

Dreaming of a slower pace. Of finally exploring the hobby that makes them feel alive. Of that startup idea they can’t stop thinking about; the one they’re convinc...

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January 22, 2026 • 32 mins

“Grieving people don’t need wise words. They need lasagna.”

Death. It happens to all of us -  and to everyone we love -  but no one wants to talk about it.

In Western society, death is hidden away. Out of sight. Out of polite conversation. As a result, many of us simply don’t have the language to talk about it.

Several of my dear friends have ...

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Two weeks into 2026, the resolutions are in the bin, the fresh faced unstoppable January energy has faded, and you are now right back in the treadmill of life. Plodding on, doing the same old thing. But, what if, instead, you paused for a second and asked yourself this important question 'will I give these people one more year of my life?'. This can apply to work, but it can also apply to friendships and relationshi...

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