PRIYANKA CHOPRA JONAS: Fame, Motherhood, Love and the Moment That Changed Everything

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
When we were told that she's coming twenty seven weeks,
I just shut down and we got a text saying
her birth is going to be put out. We were
kind of forced into announcing her birth. We weren't ready
because we didn't know what would happen with her.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose. Today's Guest is
one of our most popular episodes ever, even though we
did it digitally, even though we were all living very,
very different lives. And I'm so excited that today we
get to have her not just on camera, but in
the studio. I'm speaking about the one, the only. Priyanka
Choprah Jonas an award winning global actor, producer and entrepreneur

(00:43):
who is led at the highest levels of both Bollywood
and Hollywood. With over sixty films to her name, multiple
film for awards, and recognition on Time one hundred's Most
Influential People list, She's become one of the most influential
artists in entertainment. Priyanka's knew movie, The Bluff and nineteenth
century pirate action thriller, is out now on Amazon Prime Video.

(01:06):
You won't want to miss this. When I promise you
please welcome Prianka chop Jonas, it's great to have you here.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Wow, that intro is like, I was so tight you
were saying it.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
What were you feeling? What goes through your head when
you hear all this amazing accolades, amazing and you know
that was just the tip of the iceberg. There's so
many more.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's fine if it's like written about or it's at
a little bit of a distance, but when you say
it to my face, it's like, I don't know, I
feels obnoxious a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Oh well with that. I think that's that's a sign
of your good character. But I wanted to add to
the formal introduction just how the little time we spent together,
how wonderful it's always been. Whether I bumped into you
at friend's birthday parties like last year, or whether it's
the amazing GIVALI party that you and Nick through a
few years back, which has stayed and etched in our memory,
or whether it's the super Bowl party sing as we've

(01:55):
just gone passable. We came over to us for a
super Bowl party once and you're like the best host.
Like I literally felt. I was like, you're making sure
we'd eat it and making sure we'd drunk and just
just the best experience with you in the family always,
And so thank you for being as kind off screen
as you are on screen and just as wonderful as well.
And It's been a gift getting to know you. And
I'm so glad you're back in La.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Me too. I'm so glad to be back in La
And thank you.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
We do.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
You know, we were house proud. We like, we've always
liked hosting and having friends and family over. I mean,
A'm Punjabi anyway, and I married Punjabi American. I think
we're just so similar when it comes to those values,
and we will just enjoy it so much. Like our

(02:40):
first Thanksgiving together, it wasn't DEALI because I was filming
a movie there, and I remember my mom was giving
a toast and she said, may your table always grow
longer and bigger and it always include people you love.
And I feel like that is something that happened to
us and you really enjoy it.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, it's beautiful. You do a great job of it.
I was just looking back and I just showed you
the last time you were on the show was exactly
five years ago, by like four days, friends, which is wild.
Five years ago, exactly five years ago in February. When
I think about how much your life has changed from
the outside what to speak of your own experience of
your own life, I wanted to ask you, what's the

(03:23):
most surprising thing that you enjoy about this stage of
your life that maybe you wouldn't have seen five years ago,
or maybe wouldn't have noticed five years ago, But you've
kind of discovered as where you are right now of
what's bringing you joy, what's you know lighting up your life?

Speaker 1 (03:37):
My daughter? And also I think I've found a sense
of peace. I ran really fast for a really long time,
and it was all I knew. I was dropped into
a business at a very young age that I had
no idea about. Nobody in my family had any idea about.

(03:58):
It started with Badge and then Bollywood movies and then Hollywood.
But I think in all of that, it's so uncertain
right our jobs, it's gig to gig. So when I
first started, it was just like about you have to
keep moving and what's the next thing. And it was

(04:18):
sort of like this weird training that I didn't know
how to unlearn, and I didn't know that there was
any other way of being and over the last few years.
And I don't know if it's the influence of my husband,
moving countries, working at a different pace, becoming a parent.
Maybe it's a confluence of all of them. But I

(04:41):
feel at a sense of peace with what I've been
able to achieve and what I may or may not achieve.
Like initially I was, I'm still a perfectionist, but I
think I was greedier when it came to ambition. Now
I think I prioritize time with family, being at home, nesting,

(05:07):
Like right now, we've just moved back to our house
in La so unpacking, packing, putting stuff together, editing out.
You know Malti's closet, she's four. I have stuff in
there from when she was two, you know, nick stuff.
It's just it's so fun to go into like I
my mother in law told me this, but you know,

(05:28):
seasonal to bring out like everything that's seasonal in your
pantry and like make sure that the plates are right,
and you know, just it's it was never something I
would have enjoyed doing, even like seven years ago, eight
years ago. It's a shift in just my whole being
and I'm still coming to terms with it and familiarizing

(05:51):
myself with it, but I'm allowing myself the time to
kind of be in it. I would have, you know,
berated myself earlier. You know, I made myself I feel
guilty for taking a day off. I really romanticize not
taking time off. So it's it's like a complete three sixty,
which is I'm coming to terms with it myself.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, it feels like you're
the expert of knowing when to shift speed because when
you think about the way you dominate Bollywood in the
success you had there coming out your Hollywood at peak success,
you know, when you're already winning and then you go,
oh no, I want another gear. So you come over

(06:33):
winning here, and then now as you're saying winning here
and then going oh no, now I want a different gear.
And it almost feels would you say it's just time
and age or is there something else that allowed you
to be at peace as you said, because piece is
such a I think we often think when we're young
that pleasure and joy and enjoyment and happiness of the goal,
and then as you get older, you realize peace was
actually always.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
It's having time to waste. What a luxury, not spend
because it's a currency time, I feel like with your family,
with people you love, or on the job. I love
being on set. It's one of my favorite places in
the world. But it's when you can just sit and
not be answerable to anything. And I take that privilege

(07:18):
also very seriously. I know this has not been handed
to me. I've worked really hard to be where I am,
so I'm allowing myself that time. You know, our daughter
started in a new school. I love being able to
pick her up from there, hear her stories, and like
be around and you know, maybe it's just time, age

(07:39):
space where I am at the moment. I'm not sure,
but I think that every other pivot of mine didn't
feel like it was something I controlled. Interesting I've felt
pushed into it. This is the first time I feel
like I'm allowing myself to not push myself so hard

(08:01):
and see what happens. I just always feel like, you know,
the sky will fall if I stop working one day,
and a lot of us are wired that way, I think,
especially from India and Asia, we have this work ethic
which our parents probably because they had to, you know,
in order to survive and to make it in an
ever changing world, and their generation they had to go

(08:24):
really hard. So I think our generation grew up thinking
that that was the way to be. But I think
I've learned to look inwards a little bit and that's okay,
and allowing myself that, yeah, but the other pivots. I
just did the best I could.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
But I love that that agency and that control. And
you're right the same. We were just talking about it
off camer of a second ago, this idea of I
was sharing that, you know, my mom would drop me
to school work during the day, pick me up, then
she'd go back out to work in the evenings, and
often I'd just go with her and fall asleep by
her leg while she was in an appointment or a meeting,
And I just got to see how hard my mum worked.

(09:03):
And that, of course has lots of benefits, as you said,
in terms of building discipline, hard working mentality. And then
at the same time, it comes a point where maybe
you have to when you get the privilege or the
opportunity to peel back from it to be able to shift.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
And it's such a privilege, like you have to work
hard to survive in this life, and people work really
really hard, and some people, you know, work in jobs
that you know you might not want or be in,
but you have to survive. So I take that that
privilege of this and it's just this year, honestly, it's

(09:38):
the first time it's life, the first time I'm actually
doing it where I you don't want to take that
moment to kind of indulge in my family, and I think,
you know, sometimes hard working limits your mind itself to
finding that balance. And but if you can find that balance,

(10:04):
that's the dream.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, yeah, are you? Nick was here just literally like
two three weeks ago. Best interview. That was the best interview.
You didn't have to you don't have to say that.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
No, I don't have to say but I had so
many people who called me about it and just hearing
it both of you, I mean, it's who you are,
but it's also my husband is amazing, just so sincere
and honest and it's like disarming and to see that
on camera, it was. It was a wonderful interview.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
I was going to ask you, did you debrief? Do
you both talk about when you get back from these.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
No, when we get back when the clips come out,
like you know, when you get back home, you're like, ah,
let's watch a movie talk about myself all day. Can't
do that anymore. So I don't think we got into it,
Like I had no idea about what you guys spoke about.
But when the clips come out and I'm seeing it,
then then of course we talk about.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
No, my favorite thing is to be sitting opposite someone.
Is that sincere because it just allows for this really
genuine dialogue to come out. And yeah, no, I'm glad
that you've got a chance to see it. I'm glad
that you know.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
I got to be easy to be that. No, it isn't,
and especially in our profession, Like I mean, you do
it differently, but you know, when it's a public facing profession,
you get media trained. You can't help it. Yeah, Like
when you do it for long enough, you know how
to navigate different questions, how to deflect from what you

(11:39):
don't want to answer. And I have an added layer
of it because I have a pageant background, so I
can really deflect, you know. So it's for me. It
has always been really, really tough to reach that deep
part of myself when I'm on camera. I find it uncomfortable.

(12:02):
But it was very inspiring to watch that interview and
see Nick do it. I mean, that's the most inspiring
thing about my husband for me, and which is why,
you know, I give a lot of credit to being
married to him to have been able to find this
ease and comfort as I navigate life, Like even the

(12:26):
tough things are kind of easier to handle because he's
with me, and it's so different than what life was
like ten years ago. And so I think that, you know,
it's being able to see him do that has helped
me also get in touch with my feelings a little

(12:48):
bit more and articulate them. Like both of those things
are mutually exclusive for me, more mutually exclusive for me,
but now I feel them and I can talk about it,
and that was a big step.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Yeah, No, I love that. I mean both of you
talk so beautifully about your daughter, and I was wondering,
are you the strict one? Are you the chill one?
Are you the fun one? Like as a parent, like
what is what is your go to? If Nick's the
sincere one and the yeah, you know what's your Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
I'm the mom. I have to set down the rules.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
Like like I'm doing all the hard work heare, Like.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
No, we both do that we both like the good
thing about our parenting, and we kind of fell into
this beautifully as a rhythm together. Was we always talk
about how we will navigate a situation, and we are
always on the same page when it comes to her,
So there's never a decision that I will say something

(13:43):
and he will say something else, or we're not on
the same page about it, and we just kind of
naturally fell into that. But yes, I am usually a
little bit more setting down the rules and you have
to finish eating and you have to sleep at this time,
we have to wake up for school, like yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah, one person I make schedule. Yeah yeah, one person
has to do one person as someone has to take
the response the hit. Yeah, I love what you were saying, though,
Like just about being open and honest in conversation and
in the public eye, and how hard that is, especially
now in a world where we do live in a
world full of clips, like where everyone's judging you off

(14:20):
what you said in twenty seconds without the context of
even the fact. And that's why I think podcasting has
been so revolutionary and helpful in that space, is someone
can actually listen to someone for an hour or two
hours and actually make sense of what they're saying rather
than or I saw this thirty second clip off a
three minute interview on a TV show, and now, this
is my version of who you are, and or I

(14:41):
think you're the character you play in your movies. I
don't really know who you are. So I wonder why
is it important for you to be yourself fully now
on an interview or on a show like why? Why
are you even trying to do that? Why is that
even meaningful to you? What? What would that provide for
you right now?

Speaker 1 (14:56):
I don't know if I can.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
I'm trying.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
I'm trying it out with you, right, You're my guinea pig.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
I love it great, this is the experiment amazing. I
love it.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
I don't know if I can I'll be able to
get past that, But no, I think I it's the opposite.
I think I have come to a place in my
life where I'm more in touch with my own feelings
and being able to be confident enough to talk about
real things versus deflect deflecting it into you know what

(15:29):
I want you to kind of think. And so now
I'm like, I'll try it with Jay perfect.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Thank you for trustworthy man. Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you.
That's very good. No, it's but it's real. It's it's
it's such a real thing you're talking about. It's not
easy to do that. And I think you're so right
about when you're still trying to figure yourself out, and
sometimes when you're in the change, it's like everyone wants
to know everything about you, but it's like you're so
in transition that you like, I have nothing to share.

(15:58):
I feel like that between and I'm writing books. So
when I have a book, I have lots to talk
about because I've just spent two three years studying this
theme and looking at the science and the research and
the wisdom and all this stuff. And then people invite
me on interviews in between, I'm like, guys, I've got
nothing to say because I'm working on new ideas. I'm
building new ideas, and I don't want to just say
what I said before. I will give you credit that

(16:18):
I think you're being a little bit hard on yourself
because I remember the last time I interviewed you, the
way you spoke about your parents and what you've learned
from them and just how much impact they've had on you.
That not only is extremely genuine. It resonates really strongly,
and I know it resonated with our audience, Like that
interview we did five years ago has like three million views. Wow,
and it's like people got so much from it. So

(16:40):
I think you are being a bit hard on yourself,
and I just want to let you off the hook
a little bit, because would you say that's been a
trait of viewers as well as part of your that
that ambition, that drive have you had to be hard
on yourself through this.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
My therapists thinks, so what does your.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Therapist saying record? That's what I want to know is
what is the therapist?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, that's apparently a character trait of mine that I'm
very hard on myself.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
I've recently like I'm really turning the lens on myself
a little bit in the last few years where I'm
kind of trying to get to know this new me.
There are things that I do and say where I'm like, wow,
this would not have been my reaction. Like six years ago,
patients like I was not patient. I mean I really

(17:31):
I'm still like I move very fast, I make quick decisions.
I try to be like I'm always five seconds ahead
when it comes to work. But I think having a
toddler will teach you patients that it's never in your control.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
I think that that's sometimes I think about it. I'm like,
I know that the biggest personal growth I've ever have
is having a kid. There's no rule. Yeah you think, yeah,
I'm always like, yeah, you think you've done all the
self work, and then you'll have a child and you'll
know exactly you.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Will have no idea in the directions your personality will change.
You cannot predict it. It depends on who your kid
is and who they turn into, and it just you
become metamorphosized into this other person and in every aspect,
priorities suddenly change. And everyone had told me that before,

(18:25):
but when you're living it, it's really wild. So I'm
still trying to get to know this new me who's
completely different from even though one you probably spoke about
five years ago, Like that was before I became a parent,
and so it'll be fun to get to know her.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, what have you discovered so far that's been the
most surprising to you? Or something that you're like, oh,
I didn't know that was there, Like, what was something
that you came across recently that stood out to you
about yourself that you've been finding discovering searchy.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
I'm much more patient with things when they don't work out.
I would, like I said, or you said, observed, was
very hard on myself when something wouldn't work out, or
I would, you know, like just be mad. And my
approach to like figuring out why it didn't go the

(19:17):
way I needed it to go, like the control that
I needed to have, Like I just I feel like
it's okay to not have that. And that's a huge
change in me because it's affected every aspect of my life.
How I interact with human beings, how I approach work
that I take on, definitely, how I parent, even how

(19:38):
I am at home. It's made me self sufficient, It's
made me rely on myself a little bit more. It's
like created a sense of confidence, which again this is
something that I have preached. I know, my mind knows,
but I was never able to implement to myself, which
was you know, when you're holding onto something really really tight,

(20:00):
you know, you're exhausting your muscles. It's so tiring. And
that's people who like to control things, and you know,
like alpha personalities or like it has to go my way,
and maybe that was how I achieved what I did,
and my ambition showed itself in you know, being a

(20:22):
control freak almost like holding on really tight. But that's
something I've really consciously and subconsciously worked on as soon
as I recognized the ease of letting the universe kind
of push you in the direction you're meant to go,
and then within that, of course, workout every day to

(20:43):
you know, achieve your goals through the day. But it's
okay if once in a while it doesn't turn out
to be the way you thought it should be, because
you might end up with what you need instead of
what you wanted, which is even more important.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
There's a beautiful Zen teaching that says letting go is hard,
but holding on is harder, definitely, And it's exactly what
you just described, like when you're trying to hold onto
this rope and it's tight in the grid so much
more exactly. It's exhausting, it's painful, you'll end up with
you know, scars from it. But you you just pointed out,
do you think that it's almost like it's such a

(21:20):
catch twenty too, because it's like, do you think you'd
be this successful if you hadn't had that? No, right,
so they.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Don't think so. And I've I like, I look at
my twenty year old self and I applaud her for
surviving and doing whatever I needed to, flying all over
the world, wanting to achieve everything, having the personality trait of,

(21:48):
you know, being someone who just wanted everything and not
be apologetic for it, Like my younger self was not
apologetic for you know, wanting a piece of everything, wanting
a legacy, wanting to leave behind something. And I really
had to separate myself and like look at her, and

(22:10):
you know, in fact, when I was writing my memoir,
it was a really critical experience for me, which helped
me kind of navigate a lot of these things, like
because I was talking to my friends and family and
you know, trying to corroborate my own memories because you know,
memory is a funny thing. Absolutely what I might remember
maybe just my perspective and perception is definitely not reality.

(22:34):
And I used to believe one hundred percent that perception
is reality. What you become is what people believe. And like,
as time has gone by, I was just like, man,
that girl really had to believe what she had to
believe to get to the other side. And that's okay.
And you know, I see a bravado which I admired

(22:58):
today I maybe don't have it anymore. You know, I'm
a little bit more sensible, a little bit more level headed,
maybe still.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
As funny, though still as funny. Still it's funny.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
The comedy is important, Yeah, exactly gets you through stuff.
But you know, like it's okay. I think I needed
to be And as we grow older, I think for
all of us, at whatever age in life you're in,
but to be able to forgive yourself for how you
were when you were young, or you know, we all

(23:29):
hold on to so many burdens of our past and
are so hard on ourselves because of those things. And
just I think focusing on the future and the present
is just a way of kind of letting go of
that control.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
This episode is brought to you by eBay. Music has
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but to what was coming up inside me. That record

(24:14):
wasn't background noise. It was intentional. It created space. It
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me to move faster. Over time, life changed, schedules filled up,
the stillness became harder to protect, and somewhere along the way,
that record disappeared. I didn't notice right away, but I

(24:36):
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to myself. So I searched for that same vinyl, same version,
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(24:59):
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And that's when it really hit me. The things we
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(25:21):
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(25:42):
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(26:02):
many of us as humans, when we discover a new
way of living, we almost disregard shun exactly the past
way of being, and so we're like, oh, now I
figured out life. Yeah, now I'm at peace. And it's
almost like, wait a minute, you're forgetting the part that
that kid at twenty years old as yourself you're talking
about needed to have that pravado, that holding on tight,

(26:24):
that ambition that r to get here. And I love
what you're saying because I think that's really the work
that we're all trying to do, is accept that all
these versions of us were just trying the best with
what they know. Yeah, and now that we know better,
we can do differently and do better, but that it's
not a judgment or a shunning of that version of ourselves.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
And as we grow in life, we're going to keep
changing like evolution. Hopefully yeah, hopefully yeah, And even if
we don't, that's fine. That's your individual journey, you know.
And But like Nick new song, it was so profound
to me gut punch, because that's what it really talks about,

(27:05):
is when did I get so good at being mean
to myself?

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Right?

Speaker 1 (27:10):
And we all do, and if we you catch yourself
on the couple of things which actually helped me. One,
is this a constructive thought? It's when I'm going down
the rabbit hole of anything, stress, fear, anxiety, anything, is
it a constructive thought? Will it get me somewhere? And

(27:33):
if it's not, it's not meant to be in your head?
And the second thing which has really helped me is
thoughts are not facts. So when you're spiraling about something,
or anxious about something, or berating yourself for having done
something wrong, you to kind of come back to the facts, like,
what are the facts that I know and then it

(27:54):
just takes away the power. Yeah, those are tools that
have really, I think helped me in this new phase.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
I love the pH Yeah, I love those tools. Yeah,
especially that second one, because I feel like the mind
is not a truth seeker. It's a storyteller. Absurdly, it
will make up a story and it will create it
and it will believe it. Yeah, and we'll plaster it.
It's the biggest fake news in the world. Is the
mind doing its thing, And like you just start to
believe whatever news story.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Is actually if we don't talk about it, which most
of us are trained to not do, right, Like we've
got to be tough, We've got to like at least
when I was growing up, there was no importance to
therapy or constructive conversation. Even within family. It was like
you're stronger than that, you don't have to feel that way,
like almost dismissive of actual feelings. And not just my parents,

(28:44):
that was just the culture of how it was. And
I feel like that's a wonderful thing that we've come
to a place where we can actually talk about our feelings.
But you know, the more you keep it in, the
more you're not allowed to talk about how you or feeling,
which is totally different than how you should be behaving

(29:05):
or what you should be doing in a situation, completely
different thing. How you're feeling is so crucial to acknowledge
and then it's easier to kind of move on. But
the initial validation you need is I am upset about something,
and it's okay whatever that might stem from. I might

(29:27):
be feeling jealous, I might feel angry that this didn't
happen for me or whatever it was, or but it's
okay to acknowledge that feeling. And I find it really
beneficial to talk to like my best friend or my
husband or someone. This is also a nick Jonas learning
actually gone, oh man, I just realized. Early into our marriage,

(29:52):
we had you know, argument that everyone does when you're
just getting to know each other newly married, and we
had an argument and being the person that I am,
you know, and the storm in Nix's teacup, that's how
we are, or at least we were. I don't know,
we're evolving, but I was like, well, we need to

(30:17):
approach it this way and you know, this is how
it gets better and solutions and solutions, and he was like, well,
we need to talk about how we're feeling, and those
were completely two different things, and I didn't know how
to do that or like the fact that I needed
to do that, And he was like, let's talk about

(30:38):
how I'm feeling, how you're feeling, and then we'll be
able to move on to a solution, which was so
mind blowing to me at that time and profound honestly,
and it just changed the way the direction of the conversation.
It just it's so healthy to be able to acknowledge,
you know, yeah, this made me feel this way and

(31:01):
the same honest truths. So then you're like, oh, my gosh,
if something I said made someone feel a certain way,
how do I feel about doing that to a loved one?
You know, like if a certain behavior from me or
a certain behavior from you just makes me feel not nice,
will you keep doing it again? Knowing that? So it
was such a big like learning for both of us.

(31:24):
And you know, we've never gone back to the storm
and the teacup.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Rather than I will still, I mean, rather than I've
been together for thirteen years now, it's our ten your
wedding anniversary this year decades super exciting and at the
same time, my point is, of course we still have
stupid of course all the time. We've just built tools
and techniques over the years that have worked for us
and everything that's you know that everyone's dealing with what
gave you, because I find this to be one of
the biggest things, at least for me and Rady that

(31:51):
I think has been beneficial. What gave you the humility
to be able to learn that from Nick? Right, Because
I think in a relationships it's kind of like, well,
you want to do it that way, but this is
the way I do it. So like you're saying, hey,
I wanted to watch Solutions.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
I was like that. It happened for a few a
few times and we argued where I was like this
is who I am, and like this is what I
know and it has worked for me. But I think
I heard him maybe for the first time, and I
don't know what. Maybe I wasn't hearing him. I was
focused so much on what I was feeling that I

(32:29):
couldn't listen to what he was feeling. And over time,
maybe you know, my husband is and I've said this
so many times, a most sincere, honest person, and that
just disarms you. So when he looks at you with

(32:50):
those eyes and says, let's talk about how we're feeling.
We're going to talk about how we're feeling.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
Yeah, he has that deep press He just.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Like the room calms down, and it just that he
just takes you in that the direction that he wants to.
And that's the first thing actually that drew me to
Nick when we first met is he has this quiet
confidence which makes him like a natural leader. You know,

(33:23):
you kind of want to listen to him and hear
him out and know that you know, he has thought
about things and he's not impulsive and he's decisive, but
it's just this quiet confidence. It doesn't need, you know,
to be put on display. And that was just beautiful.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
I mean that takes a lot from you to notice
that as well, because sometimes I think quiet confidence is missed. Yes,
because it's quiet as in it it doesn't have that
flashy it doesn't feel like, it doesn't look like leadership
in the old way. It's been propagated across the world
and then it's easy to miss. It's also credit to
you to be able to you know, at the time,

(34:05):
to be able to notice that and see the value
of it. I felt the value of it. When I've
been around him and had conversations with him, and.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
It's always been something that has it's been something I
have seeked, it's been something that I have always been
drawn to. And again, you know, it's different phases, different
you have to be different kinds of confidence. There are
times where you need to be a peacock or a porcupine.
You know, it's fine.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, you can be either, or you've got to you know,
show it off a little bit. And then there are
times you don't. It's really up to us to figure
out when you know how much you need to turn
it up and how much you need to turn it down.
But the fact that you can turn it down, that
is something like a lot of people don't know and use.

(34:56):
You know, confidence doesn't always have to be loud. It
doesn't always have to scream. It just arrives. And that's
the best type.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I mean obviously he will
have that.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
You also have that like quiet confidence.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
Thank you. That's very sweet. That's very kind of you. Yeah.
I found it really fascinating is when I first came
here and I don't I don't like this term that
people would aways be like, oh, you do motivational speaking,
which I don't consider myself to do because I would
think about all the motivational speakers that have come before,
and they're like loud, they're big, they're like and I'm like,
I'm just a literati guy, you know, Like, I'm like,
that's not my that's not my presence. And I don't

(35:36):
I don't think that that's the only way to be powerful.
It's a way and I fine, me move people. It's powerful, yeah, yeah,
And and I love what you're saying that it can
be done quietly. But it's I find it fascinating that
you are seeking that because I think right now, when
we think about dating in the modern world, when we
think about whether it's marriage, any sort of committed monogamous relationship,

(35:57):
I think what women and men are looking for sometimes
so confused because there's so many versions of what confidence,
strength attracted and what could be right for you correct
and what's right for you. But you knew that was
right for you because there was something that was guiding
you to that was that intuition? Was it?

Speaker 1 (36:15):
It happened so quick, like it was so quick, and
I wondered for the first like year. I was like,
what was it, because I'm not wanting to jump in
full commitment. Six months since we first met. We not
first met like when out on our first date. We

(36:38):
were married, like we were engaged in like two months
or something.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
It was so quick, but there was no part of
me that could say no. I was so drawn and
compelled by him, and I think that was the one
of those things was his natural leadership and that come
from his quiet confidence, like he would just hold my
hand and I felt the need to follow him. I'm

(37:07):
I'm usually the.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Person showing people the way.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
You know, So it was just very attractive to me
to be with someone that is so decisive and start
afraid to show it. Yeah, and doesn't need to scream
off the rooftops. Like what Nick says he can say
to you on this microphone, he can say at home.
He's just like that's who he is. And that was

(37:34):
very new to me and disarming and charming at the
same time.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
I love the way you both speak about each other,
like this is so special. I'm like, I'm literally gonna
gonna get the two clips of you both talking about
each other and putting next to it because it No,
it's wonderful. It's it's so wonderful because it's real. It's
not easy. Like I said, it requires a lot of humility.
Even as what you just said, I'm used to being
the leader. I'm used to showing the way that I

(38:00):
I'm really happy to let someone else lead sometimes.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
That's what every girl wants is to be with a
man competent enough that you will trust them to guide
you in the right place. Because usually, you know, women
are really good at figuring out and navigating through problems.
But like Nick has this innate wisdom that I trust

(38:23):
and that I've always trusted. His honesty, I have like trusted,
and I think that was one of the first things
that I was like, Yes, you will be great for life.
That's that's it. That's amazing, that's so good.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
And I loved I saw your congrats on the Variety
covers amazing and I read I read the piece before
as I was preparing for this, and I just loved
how you said in the article. You were like I
just because when I hear you both, when I've spent
time with you both, I've been to your house, you know,
spend time with you over the years at different events.
You see that love. You see the way you communicate,
you see it even when I'm speaking to you both here,

(39:03):
there's so much genuineness. And then naturally you talked abound
the variety, cover with the you know, the negativity that
naturally comes with having a relationship in the public eye.
And I love that you said, You're like, I just
don't think about it anymore because we've been together for
eight years. It's like, you know, this stuff doesn't matter
almost anymore. How hard was it to get to that
point to be able to be like, you know what now,
I'm you know, we've always been good, We're fine, But

(39:27):
how long did it take fee to feel I'm not
even letting that get to me anymore?

Speaker 1 (39:31):
I mean it's hard. I still, like, will read a
comment here or there and I'm like, why, Like what
did I do to you?

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:39):
Why?

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Why is it? Why be so mean? Like I don't
even know You've never met you, You've seen like some
aspects of my life and decided I might be this
horrible person or we're not right to get like why?
So it's still sometimes in weak moments will get me,
like so many other things, mean things do. But in general,

(40:02):
I think I'm just in a place where I want
to focus on the good in my life, and I
feel really blessed to have the good that I do.
It's not been an easy journey, and to be in
a place where you know, you come out of a
storm and the sun is shining and you just kind

(40:23):
of like take that moment and I feel like in
that moment right.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Now, Yeah, we did. We did. Like me and RADI
don't obviously have nearly the amount of Bibles that you
guys have on us, but we went through this really
interesting period where we'd been together every day during the pandemic,
and as soon as the pandemic was over, RADI was
so excited to go back home and see her family,
as so many Yeah. Sure, And so Raley was spending
a lot of time in London after the pandemic because

(40:48):
she just missed her family. She missed her parents and
I did too. But I have work here, I have
my team here, I've set up a life here, and
I go back and forth, but not as often as
she likes to. And it was really fascinating because I
get a call from my publicist one day she goes, yeah,
I just got a call from this major publication and
they've just been reading on the dark web. It's like,

(41:08):
what is the dark web? They're like, I've been reading
on the dark web that people are thinking that you
and Radi are about to, you know, break up, and
like you're not together anymore, and that the pictures that
you're posting are old and all this stuff. And I
was like, we're in a really good place, like we're
totally happy. Actually, the pandemic was amazing for us because
we spent every day together and fell more in love
with each other, which was such a blessing to have that.

(41:30):
And then we've always had this communication, me and Radi
where London is such an important part of her identity,
our family, our niece and nephew, and so we've always
tried to live this la London life as much as
we can. It's not easy at all, So Rady we'll
go back a lot more often. I'll run in and
out whenever I can. And it was just fascinating to

(41:51):
me that like that was even being talked about, and
she was like, yeah, there's loads of people just wondering
whether you guys are still together, still in love, whatever,
And it was just such a and I remember in
the conversation with Radley and laughing at it, obviously because
we know what we're doing, but I was like, wow,
like where do where do people even invent this stuff?
And then how does it go from we're living in
different countries during a certain period of time with context,

(42:14):
but you take that to be we don't love each
other anymore, don't want to be together, And I was
like wow, like and like I said, it's nowhere near
compared to the eyeballs that you and Nick hant. So
it's just such a fascinating and I struggled with them.
Radiy struggled with it where she got to the point
where she was like, you know what, I don't want
to talk about our relationship publicly anymore. Like that's what
she got to She was like, I just don't want
to talk about it because I don't like all these
opinions and I don't you know, it really affected her.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
I have a couple of thoughts on how I kind
of navigated it.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
One is we're living in a time in a period
where we get to see and read the opinions that
people have of us, right like before social media back
in the day using the Aunties, weren't talking in the kitchen.
Everyone was talking, definitely. That's everyone's talking about everything. We
just didn't hear about it. Absolutely, So nothing's really changed.

(43:07):
It's just how much information we are absorbing. So take
that power away that this is all the same people
that would have talked about you, guys, even forty years
ago if you were in the position that you're in.
That's kind of the gig. When you become a public person,
people will have an opinion on you. So protect your

(43:29):
sanity by understanding that this comes with the job, it
comes with the territory, right, So that's one. Of course,
it can still affect you and you know, hurt because
it comes across your timeline and you're like why, like
what's the need of it. The second thing that I

(43:49):
really strongly believe it's no one's business honestly, and that's okay,
Like you share as much as you need to and
what feels right. And even within our families, right like
if you're going for especially Indian families, everyone's in your business.
Everyone wants to know all the things. But even there,

(44:11):
I believe that if it's not your business, I don't
need to tell you and so protect protecting ourselves from
the cacophony of opinions is really important. And that's just
by like you've got to do the self talk and
be like do I want to react to this? Is
this a constructive thought?

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Like just questions?

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah, you got to nip it in the butt and
be like, that's not something I need to waste my
time on.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Yeah. I think me and Rady made a pact early
where even with the family piece, it was like we
solve our problems together. Yeah, exactly if we need to
communicate with either of our parents, you communicate with your parents,
I communicate with mine, because that's the open line of
communication that is, It'll be.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Honest and exactly, it'll be you know, it'll be real. Yeah,
whatever your version of that is is I think like
just the public scrutiny and it's for everyone now, like
their comments on everyone's socials, right, Like, not just people
who are in the public like content creators. It's anyone
who's out there you have comments. So it's not just

(45:16):
a problem of public people anymore. That's just the nature
of the world we're living in. So for everyone who
gets mean comments on your comments or on your Instagram
or TikTok or whatever, like really recognizing and maybe young
people don't even remember this, but like people always talked,

(45:38):
there's a Hindi song logunka he kennagunk he ken, which
means people have to say something, so they're constantly going
to say something, and that's just human beings. So like
just a pinch of salt sometimes is important. While reading
that stuff.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
Yeah, well said good advice, I was thinking, I want
to shift gears because I know we can talk about
Nick the whole whole podcast. So we'll get back. We'll
go back. No, no, no, we'll get back. He did. He
did the same, So it's fine, we'll get we'll get
back to Nick. And I want to talk about family
as well. But I want to shift gears to something
you said earlier. You said to me that actually this
is the first time where you're actually using agency to

(46:16):
be in the choice of what speed you're moving at.
And before there was almost this pivot that felt pushed
on you or just felt like the way you had
to go. And I was reading online about a there
was a director in Bollywood. He was saying that Priyanka
was treated badly. She was like she was treated badly
in Bollywood. We pushed her out, was was his language,

(46:39):
And I was like, I don't know how that feels
when when you're at the top, when you've won, like
you're one of the most iconic people we've ever had
in the industry in Bollywood without a doubt, like celebrated,
done every major movie, worked with, you know, every major director,
every major person in the industry. To me, it looked
like a win. But that's what people are almost coming

(47:00):
out and confessing and feeling like, no, we treated about it,
we pushed her out. How do you feel about that
when you hear that.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
I have like conflicting thoughts with all of that, because
I feel like surviving in the movie industry is stuff
for everyone. It's not an easy place. It's political, it's networking,
it's you know, moment driven. If it's the moment you're

(47:29):
the man at the moment or the woman at the moment,
and then the moment's gone at somebody else's moment, so
it's fleeting. So I am pragmatic enough to recognize that.
I feel like everybody has their struggles because of their choices.
I did feel like I was in a place where
I felt cornered, where work was limited, and in order

(47:51):
to survive emotionally, mentally, physically, I just needed to move.
And that's always been my answer. I'm not someone who
stays stagnant. I need movement to solve my problems. And
this time it just happened to be across continents, you know,
the hardest thing, completely move, like completely actually. But I

(48:14):
was talking to you about the universe, right, So I
was in this place where I was doing I was
doing good work, but I kind of didn't see myself.
Like I told you, I look five seconds ahead of me.
I'm like, always thinking ahead is my nature. So I
just didn't see longevity the way I wanted it in

(48:36):
my situation at that time. And I'm honest about who
I am, so you know, I was never afraid of
living my truth. But that's what it ended up being.
I felt cornered. And Angula, who's our common friend, who's
for people who don't know now, my manager. But at

(48:56):
that time she ran Daisy Hits, which was a joint
venture with Inner Scope Records, which you know, shone the
light on Indian artists and South Asian artists and brought
them over to America and she saw an old movie
of mine at her mom's house. It was called bluff Master,

(49:18):
and she was like working with Jimmy I ween. At
that time, they had just done the Pussycat Dolls version
of JA Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was like that,
you know, just cross pollination. I like to use that
word of cultures within music that was happening. And she
reached out to me. You know, I heard you can sing.

(49:40):
I mean that's I can carry a tune with a
little bit of help, but not like I used to
enjoy it. I used to go to the studio sing
with my friends. You know how in Bollywood movies we
have music as a you know, we have a soundtrack
to every movie and that's usually recorded with you know,

(50:01):
with music producers, and so I used to go in
for those sessions just because I loved seeing how music
was made. And so sometimes I would take the mic
and just sing or whatever. So I had a few
songs out there floating around, and I don't know, she
got her hands on them and she was like, you know,
let's make you a pop star. And because I was

(50:24):
feeling it was like a the universe kind of just
timed itself together. I was feeling very limited in my
work in Hindi movies. I was feeling kind of like
I don't have a direction to go on and this
was like an olive branch and I don't get starstruck,

(50:45):
but musicians like get me. Being able to be on
that stage and command with a live microphone so many
people is incredible to me. So I was us blown
away by, you know, being flown to London and then
from there being signed to Universal. From there coming to

(51:08):
la and you know, being in the studio with Will
I Am and Pitbull and just Chainsmokers and work with
Red One, and you know, I met the most incredible
people during this two year pop star era of mine.
Of such a welcome change. It was a breath of

(51:30):
fresh air. And this is behind the lens like what
I was feeling. I was feeling like I was drowning
and I was suddenly pulled out and wow, I could breathe.
And I didn't know if this would stick or not,
but I was just breathing, and wow, I was breathing

(51:51):
an excellent company. I was making music that I didn't
know how to make. But you know, there was faith
in something in me and I have to give credit
to both Angula and Jimmy Iveen for seeing something that
I didn't see. I was honestly just breathing at that point.
I'm really happy to be given an opportunity to work

(52:14):
with some of these incredible artists that I had admired
for so long. I mean, I spent my thirtieth birthday
with Bono. How many people can say that, Like, it
was just so cool to be in that rarefied air
of just artists who make music the guitar and you know,
songs that come into their mind, and I was just

(52:35):
inspired and feeling a sense of being alive creatively and emotionally.
I lost my dad within that phase as well, which
was a really big hit for me. So it was
a tough like period of five six years, a lot
of change, a lot of full stops, you know, a

(52:58):
lot of leaving feelings and things behind and trying to
come out on the other side of it. And I
was alone because I had moved countries. That was extra
layer of tough. I didn't really have a lot of friends.
I have a lot of family in America, but everyone's
really busy with their lives. So between I was bicoastal

(53:20):
between LA and New York, and you know, hotel rooms
get lonely, and so I moved into an apartment and
you know, I after the music phase was over, I
kind of was like, after four songs out there, I
was like, I don't know this is you know, I'm
as good at hisself as I would like to. And

(53:43):
then Jimmy suggested that I find representation in acting, and
I did, and that's how it started. You know, I
got Quantico, which was after a bunch of auditions, which
was also one of my first auditions in like years.
Terrifying in itself the whole process because when I was

(54:03):
working in Bollywood had reached a point where you know,
people knew my work. So I didn't you know i'd
get direct office. I just, you know, the whole It's
so crazy that as actors we do this, and you know,
rejection is such a large part of part of it too.
But that first time when I walked into that audition

(54:27):
hall and there were all of these girls on a
chair and I realized they were all here for the
same part. That's a crazy feeling. And does everyone like
look similar? Is that the goal or like.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Or was that different because you're doing it.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
It was different for that show because there were it
was written for an American girl that show, which I
clearly wasn't. But I'm an actor, and I was like, yeah,
I can study an accent and I can. I went
to school here. I'm not on familiar with the States,
of course, so I, you know, worked on being American

(55:06):
because she was an FBI agent and you know, so
I worked a lot on that. I worked with acting coaches.
I really wanted to see if I was built for America. Yeah,
because it takes different years almost for anyone who's familiar
with you know, Bollywood and Hollywood. It's just the industries

(55:28):
are it's different. So the first few times for me,
I spent like about six months in La. I was
also finishing a movie back in India at that time
called Baji Ramastani, So I was flying back and forth
a lot, and I just was like, do I have

(55:49):
what it takes first and foremost to do that, and
which meant kind of erasing my accomplishments up until now.
When I walked into a room and I was it
took me a little bit of talking to myself to
do that. I was like Okay, what are my choices.
My choices are to do limited parts and see what

(56:11):
that'll turn out to be, like to do music, which
I kind of thought I was mediocre in, or to
try and work in a completely new industry, which you
know you have to.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Start all the way at.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
The bottom again. And that's all right because the edge
that I had is I was not new. So I
knew my job. I knew what it's like to be
on a big budget movie. I knew what it likes,
what it's like to be the lead of a part,
like to hold the attention on screen, to or even
stand on your mark, say the lines, know where the

(56:49):
lights are, like, I know the profession. I know my craft.
So that's the edge that I had over you know,
like someone newer who was coming into that space. And
I think that's what really helped me is I focused
on my craft. I focused on the job. I took
away the noise of you know, well, you've done like
fifty movies in India or even the cover of this magazine.

(57:12):
Why should you like that thing that we do to ourselves,
which is, you know, you can get in your own way.
I choose to. I chose to get out of my way.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
And I don't know which part of my survival helped
me do that. I really don't know. It was a
really dark period in my life, you know, moving here,
being alone, losing my dad, losing like friendships, and you know,
my family. My mom was not here, nobody belonging, belonging

(57:46):
in a rented apartment, not sure if I should live
in New York or I live in Mumbai, living out
of suitcases for a couple, like for many years. It
was just tough. And I don't know. I was like,
I need to get out of my way. I need
something to give, I need something to work. And it

(58:06):
was many, many years of trying to figure out what
will stick where I just like put my head down.
I was like, just do the work. I worked on
my scenes. I went in for the audition, I got
the job. I continued working on because that didn't mean
that the show gets picked up if you just did

(58:26):
the pilot. I continued working on like other things, you know,
looking at movies, working with acting coaches, just learning scenes,
learning how to speak in English language, not speak, but
delivering dialogues in the English language. My brain was tuned
to improvising in Hindi. I can do that because I'd

(58:50):
done so much work in the Hindi language, so it
was a pivot of my brain as well to be
able to read sides in English and those lines. So
I worked with a lot of acting coaches, so amazingly
talented people both in New York and LA to kind
of be able to get more comfortable with that. And yeah,

(59:12):
I just decided to focus on the work and slowly
picked up. And you know, it took a lot of
like smaller parts figuring out, you know, where I land
to now, you know, producing the movies that I work in.
So it was a long journey emotionally traumatic in many

(59:33):
ways personally for me. But I'm happy to be on
the other side of it.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Yeah. Absolutely. I mean when you described that period of
your life is drowning, yeah, and transitioning away from the
industry and then finding air even in the newness of
music and how that comes in, I mean that, and
then adding on all the context you just gave us
of how hard that time was, whether it's personally with
your father, whether it's professional with new work, new industry,

(01:00:03):
just not knowing anyone, just not knowing anyone. The loneliness
that comes with it. I mean, it sounds like you
put you said in your own words, it's a really
dark time. It was tough, It felt really dark. But
I think the fact that I could pull myself out
of it with the help of you know, some amazing
people that came into my life, like and like Jimmy,

(01:00:26):
like Dana, my team in India, Natasha, like these are
people that like really held me together at that time
when I didn't have friends and family around me. And
you know, we've all worked together now for fifteen to
twenty years. But you know, I was very lucky to
have had picked people around me that didn't let me

(01:00:48):
feel the weight and the gravity of what it felt
like to me, because it may not have been the reality,
but it felt like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
That to me. And now you know, I acknowledge feelings.
So this is me acknowledging what I felt those twelve
fourteen years ago when I might what are we in
twenty twenty six, twenty ten, fifteen, sixteen years ago? But
I felt like.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
That, Yeah, well it's I think it's fascinating that we
don't necessarily give people the credit they deserve when they're
here with us and living on the planet, and you
know that it's a right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
I always think about that rights such an interesting human trade.
I always think about that so much. And you know,
I actually started thinking about it after my dad, honestly
because it was such a personal loss for me and
I there were so many people that came out for
We called it it called it his celebration ceremony, but

(01:01:48):
it's actually the chata, which happens on the fourth day
after you lose someone in Hinduism, and so you give
the family like four days to more than fourth day,
you know, everyone else can start coming in to give
their wishes. And there were so many people that celebrated
my father and spoke so highly of him, and I

(01:02:11):
was like, why didn't you say that to him when
he was here. He would have loved to hear that.
And I have started actually making a practice in my
life of reaching out to people just if I think
of them, or if I see good work, or you know,
someone's on my mind and I haven't been in touch
with them for many, many years, I'll just send a texting, Hey,

(01:02:35):
I'm thinking of you, I appreciate you. And it's usually
like takes people. They're like, what you texted me after
ten years. I feel like it heals me every time
I think of, you know, seeing someone's achievement or because
I would have wanted that, I would want that for me,
and I would want that for I think everybody deserves

(01:02:56):
to hear if that you're a pretiated or that you
mean something to someone, or you've done something that moved somebody. Yeah,
and we should try and do that while people are
on this planet. And it just takes a text or
a thought. The more you start doing it, it's a

(01:03:16):
butterfly effect of just niceness.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
Yeah. Yeah, and I love that you spoke about your
father because this isn't about doing it for people just
in the public eye. It's just the idea of life.
Like this is not at all in the public This
is not a public eye think I'm talking.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
About, Like, nobody needs to know this between you and
that person.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
It's correct.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Yeah, it's not on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Yeah, that's why I love what you about you dad.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Like it's just it's a text.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Yeah, it's just people need to know while they're here,
while they're living, while they're breathing, how you feel about them.
And for people to be celebrated and honored while they're
here with us, because you see all the time someone
passes away and all of a sudden there's a irruption
of love and joy. But it's like they weren't experiencing
that while they were alive. And what a loss, What

(01:03:59):
a lot, not only for them, but for us to
even have the opportunity to express that gratitude or notice
that about them, or such.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
A privilege to be able to express to someone what
you feel for them. As a world, as a society,
we don't encourage our young or ourselves enough to be
able to be honest when you feel something for someone,
just appreciating people. I didn't know that at all when

(01:04:26):
I was younger. Again, I guess as you evolved in life.
But in my twenties, I was like, my attitude literally
was everyone is doing their job, so you know, I'm
doing my job. I'm not appreciating. I'm not expecting appreciation,
so why should anybody else expect appreciation?

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
It was so tough, and that's I guess I.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Was allowing myself to not have the expectation of appreciation
because I never got it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
Yes, I think it came.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
My attitude came from protecting myself. Now, I understand this
at that time, like even a few years back, I
was like that I would just I was like, I
don't expect you to say I did an amazing job,
or if my scene is right, I'm not expecting the
director to be like, clap for me, So why do
I have to do that for people? It was like
such a tough like attitude, but I understood why, because

(01:05:24):
you know, I would not get appreciation. I was navigating
this insane new industry and I didn't want to have
to seek it. So I built this wall where I
was like, nobody needs it, but you do. Everyone does.
And you know, now I've understood that. It's just I

(01:05:46):
don't know where what that learning was, but I think
just appreciating people is just nice.

Speaker 3 (01:05:55):
It's just nice.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
I think we all go through that phase where you're
really blocking something because you're right, we don't want to
want validation. No one wants to want that, but we
kind of like it. Yeah, and then you're fighting against
that feeling of why do I want it? I shouldn't
want it, and therefore no one else should want it,
but really, deep down we all need it. Because I
was saying to someone today, like we're talking about the

(01:06:34):
need for usefulness, like everyone wants to feel useful. We
think people want to feel important or significant or celebrated.
And it's like most of us, like good humans, are
not narcissists or living in it. We just want to
feel useful. And it's when you don't feel useful to
someone that you feel valueless and helpless. And did I
add something? Exactly?

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
All we want to do is bring something to the
table and without having to ask for Yeah, you know,
you don't want to have to ask, like do I
bring value? You know, And especially when you're starting out
in any job, you're like, if you're told even once
that you bring value, it just it makes you want
to do better work. And I think that why I

(01:07:18):
did that to myself was because I didn't know if
I would get it, and I didn't want to put
myself in a position where I had the expectations and
then I was let down, of course, So I just
normalized the fact that nobody needs appreciation. I don't need it,
You don't need.

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
It, Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. Yeah. We repeat what we reward.
So if we reward the feeling of oh, I don't
want to I don't need it, we're going to repeat
that if we if we've reward someone for putting an
f and doing good work, that person will repeat it
because that's what inspires all of us. I really appreciate
you going there on that theme of just how hard
that transition was, because I think from the outside you

(01:07:55):
make it look easy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
Like I said, no, one's business.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Yeah, business.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
It's hard for me to talk about personal struggles because
there's just so much hardship in the world. Like I
feel really like, even what was hard for me, it's
not as hard as what everybody like, there's so many
people going through so much worse. So there is a

(01:08:21):
part of myself that still is hard on myself for.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
Because it's not hard enough because you're.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
Like, don't you shouldn't be feeling that way, don't be silly, like,
but you know, like everyone has struggles in their lives
and it's tough to talk about it because you're like, like,
what was so hard about that? Just personally it was.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
Yeah, yeah, not in context or comparison to anyone else.
It's it's technologying how you feel. I mean, that seemed
like a big transition for you. And when Nick was
on the show, he spoke so vulnerably and openly about
the birth of your daughter, which was traumatic to say
the least, and of course amazing, but in that moment,
just how heavy it was and difficult it was just

(01:09:05):
for both of you and going through that process. I
wanted to ask you if you were comfortable sharing from
your heart and your words what that experience was like
for you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:14):
The whole thing was tough because our journey, too malthy itself,
was really rough. I don't want to get into details
because I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it,
but it was very hard on me. And she's a

(01:09:36):
miracle baby because she was my only hope at that
time to be able to have a baby. So when
we were told that she's coming, like at twenty seven weeks,
I just shut down. I remember I sat in front

(01:09:56):
of a fireplace in our house, I think like nine
hours or something. And for someone who's always a solution oriented,
I didn't have a thought in my brain. And Nick
was somewhere and he came back and we just grabbed me.

(01:10:18):
We loaded the car and our dogs and we drove.
It was COVID time, and just the situation under which
she was born was so much duress for everyone involved,
and it was just really intense. She was purple and

(01:10:44):
like we didn't know the NICKU nurses couldn't like their
little finger was too big for her mouth. How they
intubated her was like I still see that image. And

(01:11:15):
thankfully everything was fine with our surrogate so we could
focus our energy and just I was just numb, and
I just remember I didn't know what to do or
how to be useful in that moment. We went with
her to the nick You one of us was allowed

(01:11:37):
at a time, and she cried the first time, and
it was like a cat like just just like that's
all we got. My mom flew down, my in laws
flew down, But we were in the hospital and it
was such a personally traumatic time. But somehow, because we

(01:12:00):
were in and out of the hospital, I remember it
leaked and we got a text saying that it's gonna
her birth is going to be put out by the papers.
And I don't want to give credence to who sent
us that message or which network it was, but that

(01:12:21):
if we don't like, they're gonna put it out in
three hours. So we were kind of forced into announcing
her birth. Which gives. We wanted to hold on to
our own narrative of it, but we weren't ready because
we didn't know what would happen with her or how
she would be. It was three months, almost one hundred

(01:12:43):
and ten days. We stopped everything. We were in the
hospital every day with her. We did shifts so that
she could be on our skin. The nurses said, from
day two of life, we should be doing skin to skin.
So Nick would sing to her on his guitar. I

(01:13:05):
used to have this little iPod which played all my mantras,
my Mohammed Tunje mantra, my guy, three months of my
own Micheva, like all of it would play all day
in inside her crib, just softly. There were a lot
of people praying for her. She was very, very desired,
very coveted and treasured because she was so hard. It

(01:13:31):
was so hard her journey to get to this planet,
and she had like six blood transfusions.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:13:41):
I used to feel like she looked just like Nick
and I as a combination, but everyone says that she
looked like him. But even in those days, like as
soon as we would be switching out, like she would
recognize our voices and smile like just her eyes weren't open,
she would have a little, like slight smile. And if

(01:14:01):
you ever met our daughter, she has the most glorious
smile on the planet, like full face laugh. So it
was a brutal time, but I think I talked to
myself when I'm in tough situations. Once I got out
of the stunned nature of it, I realized how afraid

(01:14:23):
she must have been. So I didn't have the privilege
of being upset or afraid. I had to show up
as her mom, and I had to be tough through it.
I had to smile for her. I had to equip
myself to take care of a premie baby and make

(01:14:44):
sure she's the healthiest that she can be. And that's
just what my focus turned into. And I was like,
it is not about me or him. And this happened
like immediately as soon as she was on my chest
for the first time at almost twenty seven and a
half weeks, like two or three days after and she

(01:15:05):
was so tiny that her fingers felt like butterflies on me,
just like this little one pound eleven ounces. In that moment,
I was like, I will go to the ends of
the earth to protect you. It's a feeling I have
never felt before, and I think every first time parents

(01:15:27):
says that. But it's like your heart is beating outside
of your body. And especially with her, because she was
so vulnerable, I became a tigress about everything from her
nutrition to you know, her medication, to her transfusions to

(01:15:50):
Nick and I. As a team, we didn't have to
talk to each other. It was just done. We used
to look at one another and you know, we'd have
the diaper bag, We'd have like tomorrow we have to
tomorrow's her bath day. We'd have the bad like all
the little things. Make sure that you know she has

(01:16:10):
this much of milk and is she just every little
thing about her to make sure she gets to that
weight and just survives was the only order of business.
Everything else took a back seat. And the day we
brought her home, she was still so tiny. And I
have a big Monday in our house with a big

(01:16:32):
shiv GI's MORTI why, really, I'm a big ship pucked.
I really believe that. You know, poly Baba has guided
me through every difficult moment in my life, and I've
like sat on his shoulders and we just as a
family sat in front of his vision and I think

(01:16:55):
that's the first time I really wept. She was still
so tiny, but I just I wept for the grace
that she survived, the gratitude that she was home, that
she chose us, that we could make this happen, where

(01:17:16):
you know, she could be in this world and have
this thriving life. IVF is tough, and everything that contributed
to her being on this earth. I was just so
grateful for and just relieved. And after that we had,
you know, a big heaven for her, and she came

(01:17:38):
home and her naming ceremony and and then it just
it became real. You know, yeah, gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
I think anyone who here is that just you know,
so sorry you had to go through that, and sorry
that the family had to go through it to you
other as well.

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
And I was thinking about it, you know, because I
saw on your podcast when Nick talked about it, and
I knew we would talk about it also, but I
was kind of thinking about, like why. I've started thinking
a lot about the whys in my life, Like how

(01:18:21):
did I navigate that? Because when you're doing it, you
just do it right.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
You just take your choices.

Speaker 1 (01:18:26):
You're not really thinking about the why. But in retrospect
I like to kind of unpick at that a little bit,
and I was unpicking at it, and I guess my
choice to have kids at a later stage contributed to
this being a really tough journey for me. But if

(01:18:47):
I would have done it earlier, would it have been
the wrong time. It wouldn't have been her. So I
have to I kind of made my peace with the
fact that this journey came from making the right choice
for me and for my biggest flex Honestly, I feel

(01:19:13):
is I'm living this life with the right guy, with
the right father, for this incredible baby that we have,
and that was meant to be, and the journey was
meant to be. I feel really blessed to be on
the other side of it, like I said, but it

(01:19:35):
couldn't have been any other way, So you have to
kind of forgive yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:19:41):
Yeah, I feel like that overthinking brain of well, if
I did it this time, if I could have done.

Speaker 1 (01:19:46):
It like this, she wouldn't have and then what she
went through. But you're like, oh, it would be a
different soul, it would be a different, different, different Like
I don't know what that would have been like, I
can't speak to that whether it would be good, whether
it be bad. It just wouldn't be this. Yeah, and

(01:20:07):
this is great. So you know, I can't speak for
the parallel lanes of that's universe with the.

Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
Mind of our life. Yeah, that's the mind trying to.

Speaker 1 (01:20:18):
Bring back to the present and the gratitude of you know,
our little family and being able to be together.

Speaker 2 (01:20:27):
Yeah. Yeah, the mind plays all those games, if the
sliding doors and if this, then that and should it
could it would have and it's it's fascinating. I love
how much faith in your life is such a central
pillar of a stronghold of how you you know, come
back to that and I know that's been there since
day one, right with your family.

Speaker 1 (01:20:48):
And first of all, I think when you grow up
in India, it's kind of ingrained in whatever religion you
might grow up and faith is a big part of
Indian spirituality. And you know, we are a country multiple religions,
so I was very influenced by just faith in general,

(01:21:09):
the multicultural nature of my family as well. My grandmother
is Catholic, you know, my Massi is Muslim. We were
grown up raised as Hindus, but I went to like
a Catholic school, like it was just a lot of influences.
And to me, faith is basically a relationship with something

(01:21:31):
larger than yourself, and religion is your path to get there,
and it's unique to everyone and every journey. But I've
had a really really strong faith in my life since
I was a kid. Both my parents did, especially with
Lord Shiva, and you know, we've been Shivbucks from when

(01:21:54):
we were kids, and that's a big pillar of my
faith and it's really gotten me through really scary times
and tough times, Like I kind of just like close
my eyes and go into a little box where I'm
just talking to my God, like I'm just talking to

(01:22:18):
pull it off, and I'm like I say my prayer
and I'm saying, You'll get me through it. And it's
like I feel safe in the box. It's almost like
I'm held and somehow I come through it. And that's
what it is, right Like faith should feel like a hug,
like a safe place, and my faith has always felt

(01:22:38):
like that to me.

Speaker 2 (01:22:40):
Thank you for sharing that. It's as hard as it
is to hear, and also to hear how hard it
was for all of you. It's inspiring and hope giving.
I think to so many to just hear about how
you all came together, how that hope and that fight
and that persistence and the shifts that you both did
for you know, the months that you both switched for

(01:23:02):
and probably not even seeing each other much in the
changeover because you're trying to give time, and and the
way you both describe her as the miracle baby, it's
such a you know, yeah, such a beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
Her soul was meant to be here, yea, and she
clawed her way into life. And I will celebrate that
every day, and so will Nick. Like we celebrate her
every day. She literally said that yesterday to me. She's like, Mama,
my birthday just doesn't end. And I was like, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:23:31):
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
We celebrate you every days. Because somebody came in and
got her a present and her birthdays in January. She
was like, that just doesn't end, and I was like,
and it won't.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
That's so cute. Every day.

Speaker 1 (01:23:43):
I love your birthday.

Speaker 2 (01:23:45):
I love that. Well, Brianka, We've reached out to I
reached out to Nick to share a letter for you
that I could share with you. So I'm going to
read it.

Speaker 1 (01:23:57):
Did you do this on the day, did the body?

Speaker 2 (01:23:59):
No? No in between?

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
In between?

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
Not on the day. So I'm going to read it
to you from Nick. So this is from Nick to Pretanca,
so he said, he says my chand which I love.
I was like just seeing him write there's viewerful while
it's the first time. I'm reading it too, so I've
not ready. I always save it because I'm not I
don't like reading it before it comes, so I've never
read it. Here's my Joan. I'm constantly in awe of

(01:24:22):
the person you are. It's not just the big titles,
global icon, leader, force of nature. It's how you show
up as a mother, a daughter, a sister, and my wife.
The focus and thoughtfulness you bring to every single day
is something I try to live up to. Everyone sees
the public side of you, but it's who you are
in the quiet moments that really flaws me. You have

(01:24:44):
this incredible patience and a way of listening that makes
people feel completely safe. I've seen people who usually keep
their guards way up just let it go all around you,
finding a kind of healing they didn't know they needed.
One of my favorite qualities about you is that you
truly never judge. You just meet people where they're at

(01:25:04):
and always find the good in people. That's a rare thing.
You're a leader in every sense. In these last eight
years of what you take on challenges that would have
broken most people. Whether it's on a set or navigating
the massive life change of moving countries and blending two
very different worlds, you do it with a fire that
honestly lights me up. You've stayed so true to your

(01:25:26):
roots while adapting with the kindness that seems to never
run out. I'm so incredibly proud of you. I know
your dad is looking down with that same pride seeing
the woman you continue to be as you talk with
Jay today, and he'd better have those tissues ready. Just
know that Maulti, Marie and I are right there with
you. You're the center of our universe. Building this life with

(01:25:48):
you is the greatest honor I have. Knowing where a
team gives me a sense of peace I can't even describe.
No matter what life throws at us, I know we
can handle it together. I love you endlessly.

Speaker 1 (01:26:00):
Nick Jonas, that's crazy, man. Where are those tissues?

Speaker 2 (01:26:03):
He said?

Speaker 1 (01:26:04):
Promised? I know, I'm like Nick, come on, like he
knows is why knows what will get me.

Speaker 2 (01:26:14):
It's beautiful. I love your love long may flourish and
continue and thrive. And I'm sure grab that multi Marie
has both of your love as well, and I hope
that continues as well. You've been so kind. I hope
that was a I know he says it to you
every day probably anyway, but he.

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
Is one to say it, is not one to not
say it. And I think he promised me that very
early in our engagement. Actually he said when he asked
my mom for my hand in marriage, which he did
before even asked me what a gentleman, But he said,

(01:26:54):
I promised your mom that I'll always keep you happy,
and that's going to be my quest is your happiness.
And I'll always tell you how loved you are. And
you can say that like when you just get married,
of course, but to keep up with it and to
make sure he tells me in little things. I was

(01:27:16):
just I told you I was. I'm purging my house
at the moment because we've just moved back to LA
so I'm like switching it out for what's right for
us now. So I have this memory drawer in which
I keep cards I love the cards that people write me.
I love a handwritten note. So I was pulling out
all my cards and they're all mixed up, and all

(01:27:38):
of these letters that Nick has written to me over
the years, and I put them all together and I
was just reading them, and right from the beginning, he
just always told me, and you know it's the simplest thing,
but tell your loved ones you love them. It makes

(01:27:58):
such a big difference. Absolutely, such an important reminder. And yeah,
especially if you can write that well as well. Marry
a musician.

Speaker 2 (01:28:06):
Yeah, exactly, exactly, Princle. We now end you didn't do

(01:28:26):
this last time. We end every episode with these two
fun games that we created, once called would you Rather?
And the other one's gut reaction. Okay, so would you rather?
It is first up? So prianca chebro, this is your
would you rather? Would you rather play the hero or
the villain for the rest of your career in movies? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:28:43):
Thank you? Yeah, I mean I do love playing a
bad guy, but it would get boring for the rest
of your life, because I don't know how creative I
could get with how many bad guys. But I'll say
the villain it's very interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:28:57):
Yeah, the bluff. Okay, yeah, are going to get to
see you.

Speaker 1 (01:29:01):
Well I'm not a villain in the No, you're not.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
But we get to see you do a lot of
crazy action scenes.

Speaker 1 (01:29:07):
Yeah, you know. It's so this movie, which I've done
a lot of work with Amazon Prime and this is
another one of our collaborations, But this movie is at
such a pivotal point in my life because my character
is a former pirate who was known as Bloody Mary,

(01:29:27):
self titled. I mean you can tell why. She was
tough and gruesome and based off of like Grace O'Malley
from Ireland and many other female pirates that did exist
at that time whose lives were just insane, Like if
you read the books, it's like, I can't imagine being
a female and a pirate at that time. But why

(01:29:49):
this movie really resonated with me is something I said
earlier to in the podcast, which is how far would
you go to protect your family? How far would you
go to protect your children? And this is the story
of a mother and a woman who says, you're not
coming from my family. One of the most amazing lines

(01:30:09):
in this movie, which I really deeply resonated with, is
you come to my home. You threaten my family and
then I kill him and I say, where is my husband?
Where is my husband? Every wife when they're playing golf,
isn't it?

Speaker 2 (01:30:25):
I love that? That's so good?

Speaker 1 (01:30:28):
But you know, I really it's it's That's what I
love about this. It's really fun. It's like a bloody
insane It's like I love doing that toy. It's got trauma,
it's beautifully shot, based in the Caribbean. What more because
you ask, but our director was humorously talented Frankie Flowers.

(01:30:52):
What would you do? How far would you go?

Speaker 2 (01:30:54):
And you've lived through that in your own version of that.

Speaker 1 (01:30:57):
And I will continue to Yeah, like go to the
end of the earth to protect.

Speaker 2 (01:31:01):
I saw that when you said that. I was like, wow,
do not messy. Your don't come from and your eyes
are like jade, do not And I'm like, I'm like
trying to beat out this is like you know, this
is that was? I saw that in your eye You're
like fully locked in there, and I was like, Okay,
I'm scared now, all right. Would you rather have to
wear your Miss World crown to every major Hollywood premiere

(01:31:25):
for the next year or have to introduce yourself as
Miss World two thousand in every room you neither.

Speaker 1 (01:31:32):
Oh no, that's the worst. One should be a Miss
World choice and the other one shouldn't be.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
Neither.

Speaker 1 (01:31:40):
I am very proud of that achievement for my eighteen
year old self at that time, but it's not something
I would care to do again.

Speaker 2 (01:31:47):
Okay. Would you rather accidentally send a flirty voice note
meant for Nick to your entire production group chat or
accidentally read one of your own romantic text out loud
thinking it was part of the script during a table.

Speaker 1 (01:32:00):
Well, I wouldn't do that, but I may have even
done this, like I am notoriously known for sending the
wrong messages to the wrong Okay, got it? So I
think it would be funny, you'll bear.

Speaker 2 (01:32:16):
Yeah, all right? This one. This one applies to the
bluff as well. Would you rather film a brutal stunt
sequence in one take, absolutely nail it, but get injured
and never be allowed to do your own stunts again,
or play it safe, let a stump double take over
and always wonder if you could have done it yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:32:33):
I have done enough work with incredible stunt teams to
know when I can and when I can't wow. I'm
very very safe and practical. I'm not a hero when
it comes to set. I don't need to prove a point.
I'm a professional. I go to set, I see what
I have to do the bluff, especially in fact, there's
a lot of one take scenes and a lot of

(01:32:55):
injuries that I did get in this movie. But because
it's a dramatic performance of a a you know, stunt movie,
it really required my face in everything. It required me
to convey the emotion of what I was feeling while
I was in the stunt scenes. So I did a
lot of it myself. I was trained by an incredible

(01:33:16):
stunt team. My stunt coordinator and double Anisha Gibbs worked
with me very very closely. In fact, we shot a
whole year. The first three months was Heads of State.
While I was filming Heads of State, I was training
the bluff. Thank you so fun. It was so fun.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
It was so much fun.

Speaker 1 (01:33:33):
So in between shots we would train the sword fighting
sequences on set, so Interest and John would be like,
we don't use swords in this movie, but we would
be training for the next one. Right after I finished
that in France, I flew to Australia ten days seven
days in and started filming the bluff, which was for
three months. So it was just so intense and you

(01:33:54):
were right in training happened while filming. Wow, learning choreography
happened wild filming. So I would get like a few
hours off after finishing a scene and I would go
learn my choreo or in between shots. So it was
just like very alive and creative. And but I'm very safe.
Like I learned very early in my career that the

(01:34:17):
person doing the stunt, you have to walk your path,
even if your stunt ups checked it for you. You
walk your path. You see if there's you know, a
nail coming out from somewhere, if you could get injured,
if you know where you're falling, doesn't have like a protrusion.
Like you have to be really practical in order to
be able to pull off stunts and stuff like that.

(01:34:38):
Can't be a hero.

Speaker 2 (01:34:39):
I like the pragmatism and the practically very useful can't
be a hero. Great answer, all right, one last one?
Would you rather? And then when you've got reactions, so
would you rather that perform? I think I know the
answer to this one because I saw you already do
this and it was amazing. Would you rather perform one
full Jurist Brother's song on stage by yourself, what in
front of a sold out stadium? Or open a Jernais
Brothers show with a five minut stand up monologue about

(01:35:01):
your relationship. The monologue you did so good on the Rose.
The roast is so good that his hands down, still
one of my favorite clips of you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:08):
Can I tell you a secret?

Speaker 2 (01:35:09):
Yeah? Please?

Speaker 1 (01:35:10):
Nick wrote my rose?

Speaker 2 (01:35:11):
No did he actually no, don't tell us that. Don't
ruin it. It was so good, but.

Speaker 1 (01:35:17):
I'm not ruining it.

Speaker 2 (01:35:18):
That's our partnership. That's your partnership. But your delivery was brilliant.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:21):
I mean you didn't write all of it.

Speaker 2 (01:35:23):
Brot.

Speaker 1 (01:35:24):
He brought in a lot of amazing contributions.

Speaker 2 (01:35:28):
He's good comedy too, what he knows.

Speaker 1 (01:35:32):
His wife like he wanted to set me up for success,
and it was like, you need to lean into this joke,
you need to say that, and I was like, no,
I don't want to dress.

Speaker 2 (01:35:39):
It's like so good.

Speaker 1 (01:35:40):
The Instagram thing was all Nick. It was such a
great just like you have the most Instagram followers of
all three of us combined, and I was like, I'm
not saying that.

Speaker 2 (01:35:48):
That was so good.

Speaker 1 (01:35:49):
He was like, you have to say it, so you
know he really liked He was like, and yeah, that's
our partnership where you know, we want to set each
other up for success.

Speaker 2 (01:36:00):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:36:01):
It was such a beautiful moment for me where he
just like came up with his own roast.

Speaker 2 (01:36:06):
That's awesome. They were great jokes. They landed well, all right,
gut reactions to your instincts, your response, because you did
the final five with us last time, so we made
this up for you. The thing I pretend I'm chill
about but I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:36:20):
Is most things I literally come across as the most
chill and most confident, but inside I'm like a duck
under the water. But up front you don't see anything.
Some stress about most things.

Speaker 2 (01:36:39):
The most unhinged thought I've had this week was.

Speaker 1 (01:36:45):
It's not unhinged, but it's an honest thought. Just came
up actually in your life.

Speaker 2 (01:36:50):
Oh God.

Speaker 1 (01:36:52):
So when we first moved into our house, I was
filming a lot, and you know, we had people who
were doing the interiors and helping us with the interiors
of our homes. When I have a library, which is
my pride and joy. And so I walked into the
library and the books were color coded, and I was like,
what are you doing? Whose library is color coded? Library

(01:37:16):
was color coded? I was like, Jay, do you read
your books or other? Is pretty?

Speaker 2 (01:37:21):
That's so good, that's actually read them. I love it.
I'm glad, thank you for being honest. This is good.
I like it. I like it. That's good. Well, I
have two. You will see the one in the house
when we go there later today. So that's my bookshop.
That's my proud and joy. Yeah, it's all makes them
messed up and everything. And this was like during zoom
days of pandemic, so it was like, everything's good. Yeah,
exactly you great answer. Great answer. The most humbling mom

(01:37:47):
moment I've recently had was.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
So being a working mom is tough. I saw my
mom being a working mom, I and her mom, so
I know it's doable. Whenever me or my husband leave,
either one of us are with Maltis. If I'm traveling,
he's with her, or we have the grandparents, my in laws,
who are beautiful and gracious while I'm doing this, press
to her there with our daughter.

Speaker 3 (01:38:11):
Or my mom.

Speaker 1 (01:38:13):
But I was packing up and I was leaving for
a film shoot. I'm working on an Indian movie called
Varani in Hyderabad.

Speaker 2 (01:38:20):
Yeah, congrats, so excited for that.

Speaker 1 (01:38:22):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:38:22):
This is huge. It's just going to point out for
everyone who doesn't know. It's like there's a gentleman who
made our Roger mo, Yeah, who's making Varanasi. And so
it's amazing, great.

Speaker 1 (01:38:34):
Part and an incredible movie and great partners in the movie.
So I've had to fly back and forth from Hyderabad
like every month because I come back to Malti.

Speaker 2 (01:38:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:38:45):
I literally my airline status has gone up because of
this one movie. But I was leaving and I was
packing up, and before I leave for a trip, we
talk about it and we have this invisible string which
is in her heart and my heart, and you know,
we talk about the fact that mama's gone for like
twelve sleeps or fifteen sleeps, and so we were having

(01:39:07):
that chat. And whenever she has real feelings, she talks
to her babies because she is a mama and she
has little dollies which are her babies. And so when
I was leaving, she was looking at her baby and
she says, I'm such a good Mama, I don't leave
you and go to work. She's three and a half.

Speaker 2 (01:39:27):
That's heartbreaking.

Speaker 1 (01:39:29):
So what was the question again?

Speaker 2 (01:39:32):
Yeah, that was my most humbling moment.

Speaker 1 (01:39:35):
I was like, my toes curled. I was almost about
to cancel my flight. I was so stressed out. And
then she laughed and smiled at me. She knew it
was a joke, you know, and she jumped on me
and I was like, don't say that, and she was
like no, Mama, no, Like she wasn't like getting me

(01:39:55):
or Nick or any of us like upset. She's very
sensitive to that. So but I was like, I was
thinking about it the whole flight around. I was like,
oh my gosh, thats a child. To humble you in
one second was painful.

Speaker 2 (01:40:09):
That's heartbreaking, just heartbreaking, so tough. If I have a
little girl, I'm gonna be wrapped around. I figure, it's
so hard because they.

Speaker 1 (01:40:18):
Have that little voice and those eyes. Yeah, it's just over.
That's crazy, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:40:23):
How does it feel to be going back to India
to do a movie again after so many years?

Speaker 1 (01:40:28):
If there was any film to be done, it would
have been this, Like this is the best way of
going back into Indian films. I missed it so much.
I missed you know, dancing, I missed the chaos on set,
I missed the creativity and with s Stragia Molly, so

(01:40:50):
he's so his mind is and his vision is so
far beyond limited imagination that just to be able to
see what he's thinking and and kind of be the
vessel to tell that story is great. My part is amazing.
I have like a beautiful graph of ups and downs

(01:41:12):
in the movie. My co actors are great. You know,
it's awesome to be able to work with actors who
like know their stuff arrive you know, on time, like,
are great to be around, are fun, and you know,
it's been a really really gratifying journey so far as

(01:41:33):
long he takes a long time to make movies. It's
almost been fourteen months, but you know it's going to
be really special, and the journey of it has also
been special. In fact, I took multi to hydrabad Ones
and she went to the farm and she saw, like
they have this beautiful farm outside of hydrobad which you know,

(01:41:53):
so his wife, his family, they like run themselves, and
it was so much fun. You know, she met like
Cobs and saw paddy Fields and like ran around and
it was beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:42:05):
I love it. I'm so excited for you for the bluff,
for Maranassi, for your family. It's congratulations on it all,
and thank you today for just you know, sharing it
as it is and what's going on behind the scenes.
Did I what's happening? You know, what's what's really going on?
You can tell me offline if we got there.

Speaker 1 (01:42:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:42:25):
I don't like.

Speaker 1 (01:42:25):
That's the thing about you, Like, yes, one, when I'm
doing an interview, I try not to think about it.
But you also like have this amazing innate quality of
being able to like get people to talk about tough
things without very sweet feeling judged or without feeling critiqued.

(01:42:46):
I don't know what will happen when these clips come out,
but while we're on this couch is real good.

Speaker 2 (01:42:51):
Oh gosh, Well no, My only intention is just that
you know that people get to talk about the things
they don't get to talk about anywhere else, and people
get to really understand what's going on. When we think
we know everything, I think we live in a world
right now where we we think we know what everyone's
going through. We think we know what everyone believes. And
it's nice to have an opportunity to create space. And
I think it's not just creating space for each other,

(01:43:12):
but hopefully this ripples out to people creating space in
their families and their friends and amongst each other.

Speaker 1 (01:43:18):
Is giving each other benefit of the doubt. Yeah, some
grace in space, some goodness, believing in people's goodness. I
used to think. Actually Nick writes this in his letter,
but I used to think that was like one of
my worst qualities because I'm the worst judge of people.

(01:43:40):
I always see people for the good in them, Like
I don't understand, like why would you have a bad
a jet? Like why would like that too? Yeah, it
doesn't make sense in my brain, Like why would you
say something to me that you don't mean? It's so
convoluted and exhausting to think about. Like, but there are
people like that in the world, and as I've navigated,

(01:44:03):
you know, many different countries you have to And I'm
raising a daughter, like I want to be able to
equip her to protect herself, and sometimes that kind of
transparency or just you know, oh my gosh, what you're
saying is probably what I'm getting is not the right thing,
because you know, there are tricky people in the world.

(01:44:24):
But it's just tough on me. I've just never been
able to navigate that very well. Yeah, it's a good
quality as well, is it. Though it's a little too trusting.

Speaker 2 (01:44:34):
Yeah, it's I mean, I guess as long as you
have good boundaries when you discover something, I think that's
oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:44:40):
The problem is the discovery.

Speaker 2 (01:44:42):
Yeah, the discovery could be terrible. It depends on how
you never discover it.

Speaker 1 (01:44:45):
Because some people are really good at maintaining you know, yes, yes, yes,
like two faced nature or whatever. Yes, my husband's great.
Oh my god, he's the best judge of character. I
don't know why he says that about me. I like,
can't tell. I'll tell after you show me your cards,
like someone does something. I'm like that, yeah, but I

(01:45:10):
cannot tell without that.

Speaker 2 (01:45:12):
Well, you're a great, great team, great partnership. Brank has
been a joy, truly, it's been such a joy talking
to you, and I'm so glad to have you back
on after five years. I please do not wait five years.
Please do not wait five years to come back. I
hope you'll come back.

Speaker 1 (01:45:25):
Sooner for sure. And here actually in the studio instead
of doing it virtually.

Speaker 2 (01:45:30):
Absolutely, you're the best.

Speaker 1 (01:45:31):
Congratulations too, Oh you're doing production now coming to mind
side of the.

Speaker 2 (01:45:36):
Business announced, Yeah, yeah, having so much fun with it,
are you. It's like, you know, when when you grew
up where I grew up in London, I never have
believed in a million years that I'd ever have the
opportunity to do something like this, especially what I thought
i'd be when I grew up, and so the fact
that I even have the opportunity is such a blessing
and such a fortune. So I'm very excited about the

(01:45:57):
projects you're working on, and.

Speaker 1 (01:45:58):
I'm so proud of you. I tell everyone navigating just
your career, and maybe I'm saying this out of experience,
but we are living in an incredible time where you
can actually think of the most insane idea and monetize
it for everyone. This is not just like for me

(01:46:22):
as an actor. In fact, it's limiting for me as
an actor. But like you can, you know, go beyond
the medium that you've been given. Like you could be
a content creator, you could become a producer. You could
write yourself a story and you know, fund it. You
could be enterprising. I tell every person who's navigating this

(01:46:43):
ever changing world of any you know, any business that
you might be in with AI with there's so much change,
Like be enterprising, be an entrepreneur for yourself, learn to
sell yourself and your strength and understand that you know,
the end goal might look really large, Like you know,

(01:47:05):
you're working with Netflix and you're producing TV shows, Like
that's insane if you tell your ten year old self,
even twenty year old self, or even your twenty year
old self, But you're enterprising and you know your strengths,
and that's just good business. And to be able to
be excited about the opportunity is very humble of you.
But I would like to applaud the fact that you've

(01:47:27):
been able to build that road for yourself, and you've
been enterprising for yourself and you know, build yourself into
such a strong business. And that's just what I really
encourage everyone to think like that for yourself, you know,
and dreams. Just we're at a time where it's kind
of magical.

Speaker 2 (01:47:46):
Absolutely well, it's people like yourself and even the story
you shared today about pivots that may not even be
the endpoint, it may not even be the direction of
the journey, people like yourself. I think it's really inspiring.
When you're at the top of your g you can pivot,
try something, go no, this isn't me, and then move
again and win. And it's like that. I think watching

(01:48:08):
people do that, people like yourself, I think have set
such a great example for everyone to not and everyone
around you will tell you the opposite. By the way,
Like when I wanted to start doing this, everyone's like, hey,
like you know your lane, Like just do your thing,
like know your lane, And I was just like, well,
what is my lane? Like I didn't know this existed.
It's the worst advice.

Speaker 1 (01:48:27):
Yeah, never stay in your lane. That's like the worst
advice because everyone is running so hard to find a lane. Like,
when you have something that's unique, which you do about yourself,
you can pivot that into anything. Creativity is not limited
to like a book. If you're a writer, you could
write a screenplay, you could write a script. You could

(01:48:48):
turn that writing and problem solving skill set into production.
You could turn production into direct like it could. I'm
just talking about my field. I just know my feeling.
But you know, even being able to pivot and navigate
within the industry or the medium that you know is
is really cool to open your mind up for that.

(01:49:11):
Never ever actually stay in your lane.

Speaker 2 (01:49:14):
Yeah, well, you've set the standard and you've paved the
way and shown a great example. So thank you. Happy
to get your mentorship and guidance and all the steering
insights you have for me. For sure, We're so excited
for you. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:49:27):
I can't wait to hear more about it.

Speaker 2 (01:49:29):
So sweet. If you're feeling inspired by this episode, you
won't want to miss my conversation with Wicked's Cynthia Arrivo.

Speaker 3 (01:49:36):
We are afraid to let a person go, and we
need to be okay with things people go.

Speaker 1 (01:49:40):
We don't know what path people are walking on when
they walk into our lives.

Speaker 3 (01:49:44):
We might just be a

Speaker 1 (01:49:46):
Stepping stone in their path, just like stepping stones in
their life

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Host

Jay Shetty

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