Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Ashley ended jam in Morning Show with DJ Foreign
and Santi and.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's time for another DM dilemma. Hi everybody, Good morning
Stashly the jam of Morning Show. Listen, I don't fault
anybody who hits me with like a crazy relationship thing
in their dms, and dms me that and then is
(00:27):
like I want to come on and gets cold feet.
I will never fault anybody for that because, listen, you're
coming to us for a reason. You don't it's too
close to home. And then you get nervous and you think,
oh my god, what if they hear me? What if
it gets back to them? This one in particular, so
not shocked. I got a DM from a girl by
the name Oh she's wait, she's bubbling. Oh, I'm not
(00:49):
gonna she said, I'm up. How do you want to proceed? Well,
I'm gonna tell her to call Yeah, sorry, guys, this
is live action.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Call us in the moment.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
One nine, four or five, and as soon as the
phone rings, we're just gonna well, I won't say that
because so anyways, she sends me a DM, we assume
she got cold feet. Now she says she's up and
she's moving but she lives with the girl that she
wants to talk about. So she's like, I don't know
how I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
How will I call?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
She said? Then she was gonna go for a dog
walk to get out of the house to call us
about her significant other.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Which is probably why she didn't pick up when we
initially called, because the person was right there.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I know, so it's difficult.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
So I'll read her initial DM. This is just let's
just blindly do this. I does your name start with
the V. I won't say it because I don't know
if you want to stay anonymous.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
It does?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
There We go.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Wow, that was a lot smoother than I thought it
was going to be. All right anonymous. So I didn't
even get to tell everybody why you had dmy But
I will let you tell your story for yourself. What's
going on in the household?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Sure, So for a little over a year now, I've
been seeing someone I guess dating, not officially together, complicated.
We live together, but she won't officially be together because
she her parents don't know, so she's afraid to own
(02:16):
her Okay, so comes out to them. They're complicated.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
You're the first girl that she's been with or she's
been with other girls, but she's been in hiding.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
One other and also like not officially together is literally.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Like, okay, so can you guys look up with other people?
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Yeah, but we don't, neither one of us and I won't.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
How long have you guys been living.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Together since July and July?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
This is stressful for even me. So you've you live together,
but you don't have the title of girlfriends, but you
kind of are. But she's afraid to give that title
because she thinks her parents are going to cut her off.
How old is she?
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Uh, twenty six? Twenty six?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I feel like she's old. She's old enough. Do we
think this is a cover up because she just doesn't
want to commit to you. I'm just.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
You're not the first person to say that.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I'll be the third. I feel like this is a
cover up.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
This here, I wouldn't expect anything, le.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Mister mess but nobody like something that isn't settling right
with me on this, I mean this whole like we're
together but we're not. But we are, but we're not,
and we don't have the title look over other people with.
So let me ask you, does she tell her parents
you're like her best friend.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Uh so I have a one, one bedroom apartment, so
it was, uh that my back hurts, so I sleep
on the couch kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So I don't like, there's no.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Way parents can be that dumb, like we on vacation together,
Like there's just no way.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Well, I mean, I get what you're saying, but they
could just be like that's her best friend. They travel together,
their roommates.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I don't know one apartment, but her back hurts.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I mean, listen, I'll go to sleep on the couch
out of all places.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, come on, right, yeah, true, true, true, I listen.
I don't like And how old are you anonymous?
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Thirty thirty three?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Honey, you are way too too old to be in
a relationship that's not really a relationship. That's a relationship
to me telling other adults that you're fake sleeping on
the couch and going on vacations with your like this, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
It's a wild The whole thing is freaking wild. Like
I've hinted at like, hey, like I think it's time
and it's just like well, like I don't know or
like I don't know if I belong with a guy
or a girl. And I'm like, what in the actual like,
I just don't get it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I can understand the parent part, that part is separate,
but I think she's dragging you along. Yeah, you know,
because she meant the guy and the girls. Possibly, but
I feel like she's playing games with your emotions.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
She can still be into both also and commit to
you this whole like wee can still chuck up with
other people. I don't like it. Here's the thing. I
can guarantee somebody listening has been through the same situation,
and I'm wondering what people's time frames are. You guys
have been together for how long?
Speaker 4 (05:25):
A little over a year?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Little over a year?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Telling I kept telling myself. I was like, all right,
I'll give it a I'll give it another month. I'll
give it till July. I gave it till July and
she moved in instead. I was like, all right, I'll
give it till like October.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Do you tell her you love her? Do you love her? Uh?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Yeah, yeah, we both do.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay, all right, So been together for a little over
a year, moved in in July. She won't commit to
you because she's too afraid that her family will find out,
and disowner. So the question is is how much longer
do you play this game. You're thirty three, you're not
twenty three. So let's see what the people say. I
know other people have probably been in the same situation.
(06:04):
The holidays are coming up, There's there's a million things
to that are kind of play a factor, I'm sure
for you. So you hang on the line, continue to
walk the dog. Let's see if people kind of went
to weigh in on this. Six one seven, nine three
one one nine four five six one seven nine three
one one nine four five been together for over a year.
We're noncommittal. We moved in in July, and she's afraid
(06:28):
to tell her family, which is why she will not
say this is my girlfriend. Do we buy it or
do we think she's getting played? Hi, everybody, good morning.
It is Ashley and the GM in Morning Show. A
Happy day before Thanksgiving, Heavy Thanksgiving just in general to
you if you're in town for the holiday, welcome home.
We're helping out anonymous right now. She's been with her
(06:51):
girlfriend for over a year. By the way, they literally
live together. So she's out walking the dog right now,
so we can have this conversation. Been together for over
a year. They moved in with each other in July.
Her girlfriend, well, I can't even call her that her
roommate will not commit to her. But they're in a
full on relationship. They're not hooking up with other people.
She tells her she won't tell her family because she
(07:13):
thinks they'll disown her. She also then says she's not
really sure if she wants to commit to a girl
or a guy. We don't have a ton of time,
but I think it's perfect because the phones were going crazy.
But Selena and Lawrence has been through literally the exact
same situation with her ex Hi, Selena, babe, is this
giving you pts okay? So much so that you're cursing? Selena,
(07:36):
I just had a dump you remember. If I'm gonna
get fired, it's not gonna be on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
No cursing.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Sorry, that's okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So you've been in the exact same situation as Anonymous.
What is your advice for her and what ended up
happening happening in your relationship?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Well, mind's different. Mine was with a guy, but I
was with him for four years and I moved on
the Lawrence and I moved to Fitchburgh with him, and
then from Fitchburg we moved to Rhode Island. This is
where I'm at right now is Rhode Island. And it
was just a whole like hiding me. He didn't want
(08:15):
me to be around anyone. And it came to the
point where I just left because I had that feeling
like there's no point of me being in this relationship
if you're gonna hide me.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And assuming you guys had children together.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
No, wow, actually we did not.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Okay, God, I gotta gotta got it. So so you
hearing that you obviously had to call you, you think
she needs to get up out of that relationship? Stat
I think so, because I feel like she's just doing
her you to her, she's saying with her feelings, and
I feel like it's just hard. Okay, she's kind of
losing her a little bit, but her like from a
(09:01):
mile away, by the way, just I wouldn't make her
feel a little bit better. It is. The kids can
like sniff out when you get on the phone, and
they just don't is it not every time you call me?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah, like she starts yelling at her on the phone.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, it's nuts. So anonymous, I'm coming back to you again.
There's so we had a ton of calls, but we
just don't have enough time. And I think for most people,
they're saying, I mean that the other one a different one.
On hold, it's been over a year. You need to
either tell your parents or you need to make yourself happy.
I think you might have to give her a little
(09:36):
bit of an ultimatum because if that's really what's holding
her back, if she loves you enough, she'll do it.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Yeah, that's valid, And it's just like the parent situation.
I'm not hidden from like anybody else.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, but you're not. But you don't even have the title,
so you're being hidden from something, right, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Well, also true.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I just want you happy, and I'm sure she does
make you happy, but that's that's very selfish for her.
You know, you do.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
You deserve that, for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
It's tough, you know it's it is tough, But I
hope you get to the bottom of it. And again,
tomorrow's Thanksgiving, Christmas is around the corner. I know nobody
wants to be alone on a holiday, but I just
think that in general, you got to kind of sit
her down and just tell her like this stuff is
bothering me, Like I'm not your roommate, I'm your girlfriend,
and I want to be that.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Yeah, all right, all right, that's fair. I appreciate you guys. Well, hey,
good luck, thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
You're welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
You can hear it. She's very sad. I know, not
what she wanted to hear, but it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, it's everybody saying the same thing. You got to
make yourself happy. It just feels like she the girlfriend
whatever says that girlfriend, roommate girlfriend keeps coming up with
an excuse, different excuse each time. So I think when
she goes to her and says it's the parents thing,
she's going to say, oh, well, remember I told you.
I don't know if I like guys, it's always going
to be something else.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
She's using her, especially the fact that it's open but
it's not. But they can't helk up, but they do.
It's like confusing.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
It's way too confusing. Listen. I hope we helped her
a little bit. And if you're somebody listening and you're like, hey,
I'm going through something too, don't want to go to
your family because they're too kind of close to it.
You can always DM me at Ashley Feldman to ease
on the Ashley, I haven't sang it. I think it's
time now, Yes, all right, pizza. My Nana, every time
(11:20):
we would see her the day before Thanksgiving, she would
sing this a turkey sad on a barnyard fence and
sang this sad sad tune Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Day is coming.
Gobble gobble, gabble gobble. I think all run away. Hey,
did anybody else ever hear that? Their childs me? Yeah, God,
it's so white
It's Ashley ended jam in Morning Show with DJ Foreign
and Santi and.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's time for another DM dilemma. Hi everybody, Good morning
Stashly the jam of Morning Show. Listen, I don't fault
anybody who hits me with like a crazy relationship thing
in their dms, and dms me that and then is
(00:27):
like I want to come on and gets cold feet.
I will never fault anybody for that because, listen, you're
coming to us for a reason. You don't it's too
close to home. And then you get nervous and you think,
oh my god, what if they hear me? What if
it gets back to them? This one in particular, so
not shocked. I got a DM from a girl by
the name Oh she's wait, she's bubbling. Oh, I'm not
(00:49):
gonna she said, I'm up. How do you want to proceed? Well,
I'm gonna tell her to call Yeah, sorry, guys, this
is live action.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Call us in the moment.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
One nine, four or five, and as soon as the
phone rings, we're just gonna well, I won't say that
because so anyways, she sends me a DM, we assume
she got cold feet. Now she says she's up and
she's moving but she lives with the girl that she
wants to talk about. So she's like, I don't know
how I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
How will I call?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
She said? Then she was gonna go for a dog
walk to get out of the house to call us
about her significant other.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Which is probably why she didn't pick up when we
initially called, because the person was right there.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I know, so it's difficult.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
So I'll read her initial DM. This is just let's
just blindly do this. I does your name start with
the V. I won't say it because I don't know
if you want to stay anonymous.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
It does?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
There We go.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Wow, that was a lot smoother than I thought it
was going to be. All right anonymous. So I didn't
even get to tell everybody why you had dmy But
I will let you tell your story for yourself. What's
going on in the household?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Sure, So for a little over a year now, I've
been seeing someone I guess dating, not officially together, complicated.
We live together, but she won't officially be together because
she her parents don't know, so she's afraid to own
(02:16):
her Okay, so comes out to them. They're complicated.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
You're the first girl that she's been with or she's
been with other girls, but she's been in hiding.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
One other and also like not officially together is literally.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Like, okay, so can you guys look up with other people?
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Yeah, but we don't, neither one of us and I won't.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
How long have you guys been living.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Together since July and July?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
This is stressful for even me. So you've you live together,
but you don't have the title of girlfriends, but you
kind of are. But she's afraid to give that title
because she thinks her parents are going to cut her off.
How old is she?
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Uh, twenty six? Twenty six?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I feel like she's old. She's old enough. Do we
think this is a cover up because she just doesn't
want to commit to you. I'm just.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
You're not the first person to say that.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I'll be the third. I feel like this is a
cover up.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
This here, I wouldn't expect anything, le.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Mister mess but nobody like something that isn't settling right
with me on this, I mean this whole like we're
together but we're not. But we are, but we're not,
and we don't have the title look over other people with.
So let me ask you, does she tell her parents
you're like her best friend.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Uh so I have a one, one bedroom apartment, so
it was, uh that my back hurts, so I sleep
on the couch kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So I don't like, there's no.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Way parents can be that dumb, like we on vacation together,
Like there's just no way.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Well, I mean, I get what you're saying, but they
could just be like that's her best friend. They travel together,
their roommates.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I don't know one apartment, but her back hurts.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I mean, listen, I'll go to sleep on the couch
out of all places.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, come on, right, yeah, true, true, true, I listen.
I don't like And how old are you anonymous?
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Thirty thirty three?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Honey, you are way too too old to be in
a relationship that's not really a relationship. That's a relationship
to me telling other adults that you're fake sleeping on
the couch and going on vacations with your like this, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
It's a wild The whole thing is freaking wild. Like
I've hinted at like, hey, like I think it's time
and it's just like well, like I don't know or
like I don't know if I belong with a guy
or a girl. And I'm like, what in the actual like,
I just don't get it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I can understand the parent part, that part is separate,
but I think she's dragging you along. Yeah, you know,
because she meant the guy and the girls. Possibly, but
I feel like she's playing games with your emotions.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
She can still be into both also and commit to
you this whole like wee can still chuck up with
other people. I don't like it. Here's the thing. I
can guarantee somebody listening has been through the same situation,
and I'm wondering what people's time frames are. You guys
have been together for how long?
Speaker 4 (05:25):
A little over a year?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Little over a year?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Telling I kept telling myself. I was like, all right,
I'll give it a I'll give it another month. I'll
give it till July. I gave it till July and
she moved in instead. I was like, all right, I'll
give it till like October.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Do you tell her you love her? Do you love her? Uh?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Yeah, yeah, we both do.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay, all right, So been together for a little over
a year, moved in in July. She won't commit to
you because she's too afraid that her family will find out,
and disowner. So the question is is how much longer
do you play this game. You're thirty three, you're not
twenty three. So let's see what the people say. I
know other people have probably been in the same situation.
(06:04):
The holidays are coming up, There's there's a million things
to that are kind of play a factor, I'm sure
for you. So you hang on the line, continue to
walk the dog. Let's see if people kind of went
to weigh in on this. Six one seven, nine three
one one nine four five six one seven nine three
one one nine four five been together for over a year.
We're noncommittal. We moved in in July, and she's afraid
(06:28):
to tell her family, which is why she will not
say this is my girlfriend. Do we buy it or
do we think she's getting played? Hi, everybody, good morning.
It is Ashley and the GM in Morning Show. A
Happy day before Thanksgiving, Heavy Thanksgiving just in general to
you if you're in town for the holiday, welcome home.
We're helping out anonymous right now. She's been with her
(06:51):
girlfriend for over a year. By the way, they literally
live together. So she's out walking the dog right now,
so we can have this conversation. Been together for over
a year. They moved in with each other in July.
Her girlfriend, well, I can't even call her that her
roommate will not commit to her. But they're in a
full on relationship. They're not hooking up with other people.
She tells her she won't tell her family because she
(07:13):
thinks they'll disown her. She also then says she's not
really sure if she wants to commit to a girl
or a guy. We don't have a ton of time,
but I think it's perfect because the phones were going crazy.
But Selena and Lawrence has been through literally the exact
same situation with her ex Hi, Selena, babe, is this
giving you pts okay? So much so that you're cursing? Selena,
(07:36):
I just had a dump you remember. If I'm gonna
get fired, it's not gonna be on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
No cursing.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Sorry, that's okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So you've been in the exact same situation as Anonymous.
What is your advice for her and what ended up
happening happening in your relationship?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Well, mind's different. Mine was with a guy, but I
was with him for four years and I moved on
the Lawrence and I moved to Fitchburgh with him, and
then from Fitchburg we moved to Rhode Island. This is
where I'm at right now is Rhode Island. And it
was just a whole like hiding me. He didn't want
(08:15):
me to be around anyone. And it came to the
point where I just left because I had that feeling
like there's no point of me being in this relationship
if you're gonna hide me.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
And assuming you guys had children together.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
No, wow, actually we did not.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Okay, God, I gotta gotta got it. So so you
hearing that you obviously had to call you, you think
she needs to get up out of that relationship? Stat
I think so, because I feel like she's just doing
her you to her, she's saying with her feelings, and
I feel like it's just hard. Okay, she's kind of
losing her a little bit, but her like from a
(09:01):
mile away, by the way, just I wouldn't make her
feel a little bit better. It is. The kids can
like sniff out when you get on the phone, and
they just don't is it not every time you call me?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah, like she starts yelling at her on the phone.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, it's nuts. So anonymous, I'm coming back to you again.
There's so we had a ton of calls, but we
just don't have enough time. And I think for most people,
they're saying, I mean that the other one a different one.
On hold, it's been over a year. You need to
either tell your parents or you need to make yourself happy.
I think you might have to give her a little
(09:36):
bit of an ultimatum because if that's really what's holding
her back, if she loves you enough, she'll do it.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Yeah, that's valid, And it's just like the parent situation.
I'm not hidden from like anybody else.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, but you're not. But you don't even have the title,
so you're being hidden from something, right, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Well, also true.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I just want you happy, and I'm sure she does
make you happy, but that's that's very selfish for her.
You know, you do.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
You deserve that, for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
It's tough, you know it's it is tough, But I
hope you get to the bottom of it. And again,
tomorrow's Thanksgiving, Christmas is around the corner. I know nobody
wants to be alone on a holiday, but I just
think that in general, you got to kind of sit
her down and just tell her like this stuff is
bothering me, Like I'm not your roommate, I'm your girlfriend,
and I want to be that.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Yeah, all right, all right, that's fair. I appreciate you guys. Well, hey,
good luck, thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
You're welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
You can hear it. She's very sad. I know, not
what she wanted to hear, but it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, it's everybody saying the same thing. You got to
make yourself happy. It just feels like she the girlfriend
whatever says that girlfriend, roommate girlfriend keeps coming up with
an excuse, different excuse each time. So I think when
she goes to her and says it's the parents thing,
she's going to say, oh, well, remember I told you.
I don't know if I like guys, it's always going
to be something else.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
She's using her, especially the fact that it's open but
it's not. But they can't helk up, but they do.
It's like confusing.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
It's way too confusing. Listen. I hope we helped her
a little bit. And if you're somebody listening and you're like, hey,
I'm going through something too, don't want to go to
your family because they're too kind of close to it.
You can always DM me at Ashley Feldman to ease
on the Ashley, I haven't sang it. I think it's
time now, Yes, all right, pizza. My Nana, every time
(11:20):
we would see her the day before Thanksgiving, she would
sing this a turkey sad on a barnyard fence and
sang this sad sad tune Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Day is coming.
Gobble gobble, gabble gobble. I think all run away. Hey,
did anybody else ever hear that? Their childs me? Yeah, God,
it's so white
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.