Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dashy and the jam In Morning Show with DJ fourn
It's saw Jer.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Bustin's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four
or five.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
So I'm doing me a favor so I can make
sure that everybody has this.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Look up the name of Summer Walker's podcast, because that's
what this is from. Sexy Red was on Summer Walker's
podcast and they were taking calls from people.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
They were talking about relationships. Do you have it?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Over it radio? Okay?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Over at radio is where this came from.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And this clip is starting to go viral, and it
hurts me to my soul, to my core that this
is the narrative that these two are pushing, because obviously
people listen to Sexy Red and they listened to Summer Walker.
And when you and I were discussing it this morning,
I was like, why does this make me so sad?
And you go, that's how AJ thinks. And then you
asked her and she that.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Is how she did.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
She answered the same sentiment, and I'm like, wait a second,
is this the way it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Is now for people?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And the and most insane thing about hers is that
she's never actually been wait.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
And then we'll yeah, here we go.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Summary isis Angel Colin from Chicago.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I need your advice.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
So basically, I've been with my boyfriend for like nine
years and he's cheat on me like too many times,
literally twice in the apartment that we share with my
quote unquote best friend. And I guess I feel like
I need to stay with him because I literally see
this man is like my future husband, like the father
of my kids. Okay, I already got the names in place,
(01:33):
but it's like, I'm also afraid of like being single.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I need to hear from you because I know you
can give it to me the way I need to
hear it and just let me know what you think.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
She don't need to be asking us because that was
the wrong answer. You're talking about them twice. That ain't friend.
No me teating like, no, you're right, No, you're dad.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
She's been real bad. She's at nine years. He only
ted twice.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Girls that man, man, it's okay, Dona tee, they gonna do.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
What's crazy to think that?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So sexy Red was like, you've been with them for
nine years and he's quote only cheated twice.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Keep him like that's all Like we're like we're.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Allowing this, we're keeping cheaters now, and by the way,
Summer agreed. They were both like, honey, he's only cheated twice,
you got to keep him.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
What there are we talking about two parts here? One
if you take somebody back for doing whatever, that's different,
that's a story. But great notion that every guy cheats
and that that's okay, that's like crazy. Not every guy
is out there in the streets, and I.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Hate that so much, Like I hate that that's the
narrative because there's these guys out here, good guys that
are like, no, I'm not, like, that's not the what
I'm trying to do, and but that's what everybody thinks.
So you we bring this up, you say something to
AJ about it, and she's like, well, go hop on.
There was a little bit of an attitude from AJ too,
because she she's really feeling like this is what every
(02:57):
guy does.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
Unfortunately, I am terrified that when the time comes that
I actually do find a relationship, I'm just gonna get
cheated on.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
I hate that.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
So you get in a relationship and he cheats, are
you gonna stay? Because you feel like that's what they
all do? Anyway, I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I can't say what I would do. I don't want
to stay.
Speaker 6 (03:18):
I don't think that it's okay. I'm not condoning it
by any means, but unfortunately I think that it's just
like more people cheat than not cheat.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
But technically, you've never been with a guy who has
done that to you when.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I was eighteen, but then.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
She keeps going back to this guy you've never heard of.
When she was eighteen, you were with a man for
eleven years.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yeah, he didn't cheat.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
But let's look at my situation now where I'm dating.
How many guys am I dating that are cheating on
their their significant.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
That's okay, but that's not cheating on your you and
your whole situation.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Though they're cheating on their long term relationships. So I'm like,
they're still cheaters.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Okay, But the question here is, and what Summer Walker
and Sexy Redder trying to push is even if they cheat,
you have to stay because dating is terrible and all guys.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Cheat, Like, do you believe that? Do you believe all
guys cheat?
Speaker 6 (04:13):
I want to say no, but I think more cheat,
and this goes for men or women. I think more
people cheat than don't cheat. Unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It makes me feel so I feel bad for you guys,
because that's a tough narrative that she and these girls
are pushing that all guys cheat.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I don't believe that.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
But that's not the case. So reality, do you?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Is that a fistfight for you?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Jules, you're a single guy trying to date. Do you
feel like girls are saying that they believe that.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I haven't heard that.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
But the bar is so low right now? Like the
bar is low?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Ye, clearly.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I mean sexy Red is like girl that's exciting only
twice in nine years, like she's cheering her on.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm like, so, wait, I.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Have two daughters. I'm so that's what I mean. Listen,
I again, let's separate this. If you're in a relationship
and you're married and you find out your spouse is cheated,
and you, like, for the kids and for your family,
want to take him back, Okay, that's difference. But if
we're out here talking about, hey, you gotta keep them
because they all cheat anyway. So if he only cheats twice,
you're in a good space.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
That's wild.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's wild. But the sad thing is there's a lot
of girls out there who believe that a lot. Here's
one of them. Here, it's crazy. I don't exist.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
No, it's sad. I don't like it, and I also
don't like that.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's what you guys are dealing with right now, that
that's the narrative that people are pushing.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Not to say that guys don't cheat, but girls cheat too?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Absolutely six one seven nine five six one seven nine
three one one nine four five. Are we really playing
the numbers game with cheating now? Like it's fine, it's
only been twice in nine years? Its ashly the jam
In morning show. So a clip of Summer Walker on
her podcast or her radio show with Sexy Red has
(05:51):
gone viral and basically the two of them are in
agreement that we should not get upset about our men,
that cheating is okay because they're gonna quote do it anyway.
And when a girl called in and she's like, girls,
what should I do? I've been with my guy for
nine years, he's quote only cheated twice. Should I stay?
And they're like, girl, those numbers are good, the odds
(06:14):
are in your favor.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Nine years and he's only cheated twice? Are you kidding me?
You have to keep him and I felt sad watching that.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I'm like, very sad.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Wait what that's what we're doing now? That is crazy.
I would not stand for that now, mind you.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I do think there's a difference if you're married and
there are kids and you're like, hey, we're gonna guess
somebody cheating, but we're gonna try to figure it out
for the kids. Different situation multiple times sticking around for that.
Disrespect is cookit, Wendy is in Lawrence, Wendy. I just
don't like that that is what people.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Feel these days.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Yeah, it's not okay, like at all, but it's like
it's hard not to think, like if it happens to
you a lot of time with like multiple men, it's like,
this is what you're expecting now. And it's like if
you're already in a long term relationship with someone and
it happens, I mean like you just think about it
because you know it's better that you know that person already.
(07:10):
And then it's like, you know, if I move on,
it's gonna happen again, and with someone I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
But it's a bad mentality, No, it is, you know what,
at least you know that it's a bad mentality, And
have you you yourself kind of been in this situation.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Yes, I have. I was with someone for nine years
and then you know, throughout the whole relationship it happens like.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Like a bunch of times too.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
But I kind of always went back because I was like,
I already know this person, rather than you know, I
was expecting the next person to do it because I
don't know where I'm from. It's just it happens as
a lot of time.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
And I think that and I hate that for you, Wendy,
and thank you for the call. And I think the
issue here is we're putting other men's discrepancies or other
women's discrepancies on our next partner, and that's not healthy.
Like what your partner did to you and your past
relationship doesn't mean that's what your partner is going to
do to you in your future relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
But I understand that the mindset is tough.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
By the way this keeps happening to you. It's not
your fault, but I feel like you're attracted to a
certain type of guy. Maybe change that part of you.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Yeah. Anonymous is in New Hampshire.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Anonymous, I appreciate I appreciate you calling to discuss not easy.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Tell me, tell me a little bit about your situation.
Speaker 7 (08:28):
Well, it'll all started in twenty twenty, before the pandemic,
and I just kind of met somebody and I've got
different attention, like more like I was looking more for
like affection, because when you're in a relationship for twenty
five years, you meet somebody and then all suddenly, oh,
thank you for doing this, thank you for doing that.
(08:49):
I appreciate you. Oh my god. And that got me
and got into my head. We're like, Wow, somebody appreciate
what I do and not looking at the their path
kids that I have twenty five year relationship, two beautiful kids,
and it's just like, you know, I wasn't thinking of
(09:10):
my kids and what's going to happen. I'll cheated twice.
Now this is going on my basically third time. And
next thing, you know, help broke loose on the February
of last year. So everything came out because Facebook and
different doby to everything out there, and all I was
doing was just trying to find somebody to like spend
(09:30):
more time and go out not go out to club
and go out to dinner and stuff like that. But
time is always busy your same partner. Then you don't
you just go home and lay down after you get
out of work. It's not the same caught up. To me,
it's not worth shitting because once you do it, do
(09:51):
it twice, then you kind of lay low.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Next thing.
Speaker 7 (09:54):
You know, Here I am suffering everything which I could
see my kids. I wish I could go back and
turned the head back of time.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
You know.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah, did you lose your did you so you lost
your wife?
Speaker 7 (10:07):
Oh my god. We weren't married. I asked her to
marry and she said, why should we get married? This
is like three or five, five years ago? And she said,
why should we get married? Just the paper? I'm like,
come on. Then one time she went camping and I
went to the campground to look for her. So she
coun't pick up her phone because she didn't. I said,
why don't you pick up your phone? And she just
(10:27):
stay quiet, looking at me. So she was drinking, always
drinking a little bit of wine here, a little bit
of wine there. She wasn't doing up and back. But
when the property manager came, what are you doing here?
I said, I'm just talking to my girl, because you
need to give me permis and she never got up
and said, hey, that's my man, let me talk to him.
She never did that. After that day, I was like,
all right, wait a minute, this girl's get turning cold
on me. So I took that like she drifted away.
(10:52):
She said it on my bs.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Yeah, like I'm not in the relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But I already in this short time that we've spoken,
here you trying to make excuses for yourself. And listen,
I appreciate that you've admitted I did something wrong and
I lost like my life pretty much, and I that,
but you all are being like, well, here's why I
did hear.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
There's really like for her. Obviously, you guys had issues.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
You should have communicated said issues and given her a
chance to be better and give you the things that
you need. And if she didn't, then you know, not
to cheat, but you could maybe say, hey, we should
part ways for a little bit. I don't feel like
I'm getting anything out of this relationship. And and and
unfortunately you didn't do that, and now you know you've
lost her.
Speaker 7 (11:33):
Yeah this is out. Oh well, now it gets better.
One of them came and crushed my car. One of
them is uh sold the hammer behind my back. So
all my toolbox, all my tools to motorcycles.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
You know you're saying one of as in, one of
the girls you cheated with.
Speaker 7 (11:54):
Yeah, well that's the girl I was with for twenty
five years. We just started selling everything under my peace everything,
so it's not worth it. I lost two vehicles, which
is not I don't care about the vehicle, it's just
that the Domino set is so batter not only God.
You can't do nothing because you got a thirteen year
old kid. I've seen everything a fourteen year old kids
(12:14):
seeing everything you do. You fight back even though you're wrong.
You say, hey, you should have ever sold that. That's
you're signing papers, titles without me signing anything over.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That you can't And this is getting massy, that's the
mother of your children and all of the things got I.
You know, I've said this before when people have called
in and are kind of going through it, especially when
somebody has been unfaithful. The only thing you can do
now is be a good dad. I mean really, yeah,
gotta put your energy into that, and it seems like
that is what you're trying to put first.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Don't she I'll tell you why don't? She's not worth
the guys, it's not. I mean, you may feel the same,
oh better at that moment. Oh I'm going out, you
feel like you're the man, just not because I've been
with this person is August twelve, nineteen ninety nine, and
I remember the first day I matter, the first day
I even held in hand and sold the you know
(13:09):
this is beautiful. I love this. We weren't meant together.
And then here I am doing the unthinkable and the
kids get to see that, and that is the worst
thing for the kids. If you have any kids, you know,
it's just gonna destroy everything.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah, well, listen, I appreciate you being vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
We don't often get a dude that'll call up here
and just kind of put his feelings out there on
the table.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
So real talk, real talk. I mean, it's not worth it, guys.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
The grass isn't always greener.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Huh No.
Speaker 7 (13:37):
I have that, friends, and believe me, I wish I
could come back.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah, all right, Anonymous, thanks for the call that listen.
That's that's that's real.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
It's consistent though. I feel like when you do stuff
like this, at least most of the time, you're trying
to replace something that you feel like you are missing. Yeah,
you're doing it without communicating your feelings to your partner.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I just think, yeah, if you care about your partner,
at least give them the chance to give you the
things up. Absolutely, just communicate, talk to them, give them
the chance because listen, I mean we've talked about this
so much. Marriage is not easy, and you've been married
way longer than I have. But you have to put
in the effort, like you have to, you know how
he's talking about, like the days where we just come home,
you lay on the couch. You know, we like I
(14:13):
have those days often now because we're exhausted. We have
two little kids. But you know, you have to. You
have to put work into your partnership. And it's like
that should be your best friend.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And also too, if you feel like something's going on
on their end of things, you could communicate and find
out that they're dealing with something or their perspective might
be a little like off too. But again, the communication
part is the work.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, it's not funny, but he was like, yeah, and
she keep my cards, she's selling my cars, and I'm like, ahead, girl,
I get it.
Dashy and the jam In Morning Show with DJ fourn
It's saw Jer.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Bustin's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four
or five.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
So I'm doing me a favor so I can make
sure that everybody has this.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Look up the name of Summer Walker's podcast, because that's
what this is from. Sexy Red was on Summer Walker's
podcast and they were taking calls from people.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
They were talking about relationships. Do you have it?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Over it radio? Okay?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Over at radio is where this came from.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And this clip is starting to go viral, and it
hurts me to my soul, to my core that this
is the narrative that these two are pushing, because obviously
people listen to Sexy Red and they listened to Summer Walker.
And when you and I were discussing it this morning,
I was like, why does this make me so sad?
And you go, that's how AJ thinks. And then you
asked her and she that.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Is how she did.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
She answered the same sentiment, and I'm like, wait a second,
is this the way it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Is now for people?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And the and most insane thing about hers is that
she's never actually been wait.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
And then we'll yeah, here we go.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Summary isis Angel Colin from Chicago.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I need your advice.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
So basically, I've been with my boyfriend for like nine
years and he's cheat on me like too many times,
literally twice in the apartment that we share with my
quote unquote best friend. And I guess I feel like
I need to stay with him because I literally see
this man is like my future husband, like the father
of my kids. Okay, I already got the names in place,
(01:33):
but it's like, I'm also afraid of like being single.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I need to hear from you because I know you
can give it to me the way I need to
hear it and just let me know what you think.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
She don't need to be asking us because that was
the wrong answer. You're talking about them twice. That ain't friend.
No me teating like, no, you're right, No, you're dad.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
She's been real bad. She's at nine years. He only
ted twice.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Girls that man, man, it's okay, Dona tee, they gonna do.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
What's crazy to think that?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So sexy Red was like, you've been with them for
nine years and he's quote only cheated twice.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Keep him like that's all Like we're like we're.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Allowing this, we're keeping cheaters now, and by the way,
Summer agreed. They were both like, honey, he's only cheated twice,
you got to keep him.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
What there are we talking about two parts here? One
if you take somebody back for doing whatever, that's different,
that's a story. But great notion that every guy cheats
and that that's okay, that's like crazy. Not every guy
is out there in the streets, and I.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Hate that so much, Like I hate that that's the
narrative because there's these guys out here, good guys that
are like, no, I'm not, like, that's not the what
I'm trying to do, and but that's what everybody thinks.
So you we bring this up, you say something to
AJ about it, and she's like, well, go hop on.
There was a little bit of an attitude from AJ too,
because she she's really feeling like this is what every
(02:57):
guy does.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
Unfortunately, I am terrified that when the time comes that
I actually do find a relationship, I'm just gonna get
cheated on.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
I hate that.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
So you get in a relationship and he cheats, are
you gonna stay? Because you feel like that's what they
all do? Anyway, I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I can't say what I would do. I don't want
to stay.
Speaker 6 (03:18):
I don't think that it's okay. I'm not condoning it
by any means, but unfortunately I think that it's just
like more people cheat than not cheat.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
But technically, you've never been with a guy who has
done that to you when.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I was eighteen, but then.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
She keeps going back to this guy you've never heard of.
When she was eighteen, you were with a man for
eleven years.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yeah, he didn't cheat.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
But let's look at my situation now where I'm dating.
How many guys am I dating that are cheating on
their their significant.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
That's okay, but that's not cheating on your you and
your whole situation.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Though they're cheating on their long term relationships. So I'm like,
they're still cheaters.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Okay, But the question here is, and what Summer Walker
and Sexy Redder trying to push is even if they cheat,
you have to stay because dating is terrible and all guys.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Cheat, Like, do you believe that? Do you believe all
guys cheat?
Speaker 6 (04:13):
I want to say no, but I think more cheat,
and this goes for men or women. I think more
people cheat than don't cheat. Unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It makes me feel so I feel bad for you guys,
because that's a tough narrative that she and these girls
are pushing that all guys cheat.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I don't believe that.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
But that's not the case. So reality, do you?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Is that a fistfight for you?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Jules, you're a single guy trying to date. Do you
feel like girls are saying that they believe that.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I haven't heard that.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
But the bar is so low right now? Like the
bar is low?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Ye, clearly.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I mean sexy Red is like girl that's exciting only
twice in nine years, like she's cheering her on.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm like, so, wait, I.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Have two daughters. I'm so that's what I mean. Listen,
I again, let's separate this. If you're in a relationship
and you're married and you find out your spouse is cheated,
and you, like, for the kids and for your family,
want to take him back, Okay, that's difference. But if
we're out here talking about, hey, you gotta keep them
because they all cheat anyway. So if he only cheats twice,
you're in a good space.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
That's wild.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's wild. But the sad thing is there's a lot
of girls out there who believe that a lot. Here's
one of them. Here, it's crazy. I don't exist.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
No, it's sad. I don't like it, and I also
don't like that.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's what you guys are dealing with right now, that
that's the narrative that people are pushing.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Not to say that guys don't cheat, but girls cheat too?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Absolutely six one seven nine five six one seven nine
three one one nine four five. Are we really playing
the numbers game with cheating now? Like it's fine, it's
only been twice in nine years? Its ashly the jam
In morning show. So a clip of Summer Walker on
her podcast or her radio show with Sexy Red has
(05:51):
gone viral and basically the two of them are in
agreement that we should not get upset about our men,
that cheating is okay because they're gonna quote do it anyway.
And when a girl called in and she's like, girls,
what should I do? I've been with my guy for
nine years, he's quote only cheated twice. Should I stay?
And they're like, girl, those numbers are good, the odds
(06:14):
are in your favor.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Nine years and he's only cheated twice? Are you kidding me?
You have to keep him and I felt sad watching that.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I'm like, very sad.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Wait what that's what we're doing now? That is crazy.
I would not stand for that now, mind you.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I do think there's a difference if you're married and
there are kids and you're like, hey, we're gonna guess
somebody cheating, but we're gonna try to figure it out
for the kids. Different situation multiple times sticking around for that.
Disrespect is cookit, Wendy is in Lawrence, Wendy. I just
don't like that that is what people.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Feel these days.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Yeah, it's not okay, like at all, but it's like
it's hard not to think, like if it happens to
you a lot of time with like multiple men, it's like,
this is what you're expecting now. And it's like if
you're already in a long term relationship with someone and
it happens, I mean like you just think about it
because you know it's better that you know that person already.
(07:10):
And then it's like, you know, if I move on,
it's gonna happen again, and with someone I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
But it's a bad mentality, No, it is, you know what,
at least you know that it's a bad mentality, And
have you you yourself kind of been in this situation.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Yes, I have. I was with someone for nine years
and then you know, throughout the whole relationship it happens like.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Like a bunch of times too.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
But I kind of always went back because I was like,
I already know this person, rather than you know, I
was expecting the next person to do it because I
don't know where I'm from. It's just it happens as
a lot of time.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
And I think that and I hate that for you, Wendy,
and thank you for the call. And I think the
issue here is we're putting other men's discrepancies or other
women's discrepancies on our next partner, and that's not healthy.
Like what your partner did to you and your past
relationship doesn't mean that's what your partner is going to
do to you in your future relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
But I understand that the mindset is tough.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
By the way this keeps happening to you. It's not
your fault, but I feel like you're attracted to a
certain type of guy. Maybe change that part of you.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Yeah. Anonymous is in New Hampshire.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Anonymous, I appreciate I appreciate you calling to discuss not easy.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Tell me, tell me a little bit about your situation.
Speaker 7 (08:28):
Well, it'll all started in twenty twenty, before the pandemic,
and I just kind of met somebody and I've got
different attention, like more like I was looking more for
like affection, because when you're in a relationship for twenty
five years, you meet somebody and then all suddenly, oh,
thank you for doing this, thank you for doing that.
(08:49):
I appreciate you. Oh my god. And that got me
and got into my head. We're like, Wow, somebody appreciate
what I do and not looking at the their path
kids that I have twenty five year relationship, two beautiful kids,
and it's just like, you know, I wasn't thinking of
(09:10):
my kids and what's going to happen. I'll cheated twice.
Now this is going on my basically third time. And
next thing, you know, help broke loose on the February
of last year. So everything came out because Facebook and
different doby to everything out there, and all I was
doing was just trying to find somebody to like spend
(09:30):
more time and go out not go out to club
and go out to dinner and stuff like that. But
time is always busy your same partner. Then you don't
you just go home and lay down after you get
out of work. It's not the same caught up. To me,
it's not worth shitting because once you do it, do
(09:51):
it twice, then you kind of lay low.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Next thing.
Speaker 7 (09:54):
You know, Here I am suffering everything which I could
see my kids. I wish I could go back and
turned the head back of time.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
You know.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah, did you lose your did you so you lost
your wife?
Speaker 7 (10:07):
Oh my god. We weren't married. I asked her to
marry and she said, why should we get married? This
is like three or five, five years ago? And she said,
why should we get married? Just the paper? I'm like,
come on. Then one time she went camping and I
went to the campground to look for her. So she
coun't pick up her phone because she didn't. I said,
why don't you pick up your phone? And she just
(10:27):
stay quiet, looking at me. So she was drinking, always
drinking a little bit of wine here, a little bit
of wine there. She wasn't doing up and back. But
when the property manager came, what are you doing here?
I said, I'm just talking to my girl, because you
need to give me permis and she never got up
and said, hey, that's my man, let me talk to him.
She never did that. After that day, I was like,
all right, wait a minute, this girl's get turning cold
on me. So I took that like she drifted away.
(10:52):
She said it on my bs.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Yeah, like I'm not in the relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But I already in this short time that we've spoken,
here you trying to make excuses for yourself. And listen,
I appreciate that you've admitted I did something wrong and
I lost like my life pretty much, and I that,
but you all are being like, well, here's why I
did hear.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
There's really like for her. Obviously, you guys had issues.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
You should have communicated said issues and given her a
chance to be better and give you the things that
you need. And if she didn't, then you know, not
to cheat, but you could maybe say, hey, we should
part ways for a little bit. I don't feel like
I'm getting anything out of this relationship. And and and
unfortunately you didn't do that, and now you know you've
lost her.
Speaker 7 (11:33):
Yeah this is out. Oh well, now it gets better.
One of them came and crushed my car. One of
them is uh sold the hammer behind my back. So
all my toolbox, all my tools to motorcycles.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
You know you're saying one of as in, one of
the girls you cheated with.
Speaker 7 (11:54):
Yeah, well that's the girl I was with for twenty
five years. We just started selling everything under my peace everything,
so it's not worth it. I lost two vehicles, which
is not I don't care about the vehicle, it's just
that the Domino set is so batter not only God.
You can't do nothing because you got a thirteen year
old kid. I've seen everything a fourteen year old kids
(12:14):
seeing everything you do. You fight back even though you're wrong.
You say, hey, you should have ever sold that. That's
you're signing papers, titles without me signing anything over.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That you can't And this is getting massy, that's the
mother of your children and all of the things got I.
You know, I've said this before when people have called
in and are kind of going through it, especially when
somebody has been unfaithful. The only thing you can do
now is be a good dad. I mean really, yeah,
gotta put your energy into that, and it seems like
that is what you're trying to put first.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Don't she I'll tell you why don't? She's not worth
the guys, it's not. I mean, you may feel the same,
oh better at that moment. Oh I'm going out, you
feel like you're the man, just not because I've been
with this person is August twelve, nineteen ninety nine, and
I remember the first day I matter, the first day
I even held in hand and sold the you know
(13:09):
this is beautiful. I love this. We weren't meant together.
And then here I am doing the unthinkable and the
kids get to see that, and that is the worst
thing for the kids. If you have any kids, you know,
it's just gonna destroy everything.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah, well, listen, I appreciate you being vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
We don't often get a dude that'll call up here
and just kind of put his feelings out there on
the table.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
So real talk, real talk. I mean, it's not worth it, guys.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
The grass isn't always greener.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Huh No.
Speaker 7 (13:37):
I have that, friends, and believe me, I wish I
could come back.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah, all right, Anonymous, thanks for the call that listen.
That's that's that's real.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
It's consistent though. I feel like when you do stuff
like this, at least most of the time, you're trying
to replace something that you feel like you are missing. Yeah,
you're doing it without communicating your feelings to your partner.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I just think, yeah, if you care about your partner,
at least give them the chance to give you the
things up. Absolutely, just communicate, talk to them, give them
the chance because listen, I mean we've talked about this
so much. Marriage is not easy, and you've been married
way longer than I have. But you have to put
in the effort, like you have to, you know how
he's talking about, like the days where we just come home,
you lay on the couch. You know, we like I
(14:13):
have those days often now because we're exhausted. We have
two little kids. But you know, you have to. You
have to put work into your partnership. And it's like
that should be your best friend.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And also too, if you feel like something's going on
on their end of things, you could communicate and find
out that they're dealing with something or their perspective might
be a little like off too. But again, the communication
part is the work.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, it's not funny, but he was like, yeah, and
she keep my cards, she's selling my cars, and I'm like, ahead, girl,
I get it.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.