October 5, 2024 • 41 mins
We've got a bonus episode for Matty and PJ listeners that we wanted to share with you today! Our very own PJ has a brand-new podcast - Slow It Down. The podcast is designed to be a moment of me time for busy lives and a weekly dose of wholesome to inspire a grounded existence. If you like it, follow the show on iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to podcasts.
About the show:
Life is fast. Information is overwhelming. We seem busier and more anxious than ever. Introducing ‘Slow It Down’. A time to chill, wind down and join a space that inspires people to live authentically and slow it down. A hub for living more consciously and incorporating mindful practices and rituals in an achievable way. The aim is to showcase guests who have chosen to live a more balanced lifestyle mixed in with experts who offer tangible tips and tricks to feel a little more zen.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, Well, this is the awkward part where we usually
promote another podcast on iHeartRadio that you can listen to. Obviously,
always listen to Madi and PJ, but when you're done
listening to us, there is a new podcast out now
called Slow It Down with PJ.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh my god, do we really have to promote this?
We do.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I've been working behind the scenes on a little bit
of a project, and to be honest, it's kind of
selfish because I feel like I need this more than
anyone else. It's at one time a week where basically
I want to remind myself of the importance of slowing
down because life feels chaotic. I just think it feels
busier than ever. We're overwhelmed with information all the time.
(00:44):
So basically I'm sitting aside thirty to forty five minutes
every Sunday for a new chat with someone to talk
about how they find peace in the chaos. So grab
a crystal light, a candle, take your shoes off, and
make sure you ground it in your beer feet.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Is that what we're doing? Do you ever to go?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
All I'm saying is you might walk away feeling inspired,
get a little more relaxed.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I'm very very excited for you. I'm very proud of
you as well. This is really exciting.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So anyway, the podcast Slow It Down is available now
on iHeartRadio. New episodes drop every Sunday and go and
give it a listen.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
With the Heads Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Hello and welcome to Slow It Down.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I'm your host PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well,
pretty selfishly, really, i feel like life is so busy.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Even though I live.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Literally in the middle of nowhere, off grizz surrounded by bush.
You'd think that you could just quiet in the noise,
But I still feel stressed. I still feel overwhelmed. I
still feel, you know, that of keeping up with what
everyone else is doing. And I want to carve out
some time every week to sit down and have really
conscious conversations with people who are also living busy lives.
(02:12):
And I want to pick their brains and work out
how they find peace and the chaos and what rituals
they do to stay sane.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It's that simple.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a placed
you can chill out and listen.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
To over the weekend.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
And I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the show, Zoe Marshall.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
We actually briefly work.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Together back in the day when she was working on
Zidim and Auckland. She worked on a show there for
a while and then we sort of just kept in
touch over the years, and she's gone on to create
some amazing podcasts. She created The Deep and then started
a subscription called The Deeper, and the conversations that she
(03:05):
has had on that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's
talked to people will parents that have been given a
terminal diagnosis. She's talked to isatic's, conscious sex workers. The
list goes on. She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic.
And more recently, she's gone on to create a new
(03:26):
platform called Rise, which helps people create the life they deserve.
And it's all about manifestation, but as she says, it's
manifestation a bit better and she talks about her through
so much more to it than just at being wo
There's a lot of science to back up some of
this stuff. So I can't wait to pick her brain
in this episode, and I really hope you enjoying.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
My chat with Sulley.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh, Zorry, I've been so excited to catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
It has been a while.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I think the last time we talked, I've just given
birth and I went through like a step by step
harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful
face again.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
And you Howard's the baby. He's just gone to Wow,
two years since I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah,
you were living in the bush.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I am kind pretty much.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, yes, although I work in the nearest town now
so I actually do a radio show.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Out of the local rural Talmagi is a twenty minute drive.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Look at you all set up?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Trust of all.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I'll run through what Slow It Down is and kind
of the premise of this podcast and why I thought
you'd be a perfect fat So basically, I think since
moving to the middle of nowhere, you know, I had
this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed and I'd
be grounded, And the reality is I'm still stressed. Life
(04:59):
still feels chay on it, and I have a beautiful
life but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful
in front of you. So I want to talk about
tips and tracks and ways to really feel like.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
You can make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I know, I know for sure.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like
being an elder on a rocking chair, you know, but
(05:42):
like doing all of that now, like the pace, the presence,
the appreciation now. So I am every I'm just I
want to get rid of everything.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I want to get rid of, like a lot of
my belongings.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I want to downce eyes everything in my life. I
want to just have my needs met and then be
able to.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Do less.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
And I am like it already is happening. And I
think it all started with like I had a quite
quite a scary breast scare in June, and.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
That just shifts everything.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
And it's such a shame that human beings need such
a dire situation to wake them up, but I did.
And I just got back from two and a half
weeks in Europe, and Dubai and literally just sitting in
the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
I was like, this is living.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Obviously it's very different circumstances, but what if we could
bring that level. I like to call it like the
magic in the mundane, like finding the miracle.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Stop it.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It's literally like one of my atives, well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane, right.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, And I find like being in awe of everything
around us. So I think we have just been really
stripped of so much importance because of you know, how
distracted we are, how we've got these kind of really
(07:31):
quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able to
focus in and slow down and appreciate the things that
we have. I created a whole new business I got
rid of I slowed down one side of my business
and started a new one which is all around this
and it's around manifestation, co creation mindset. But truly, like
(07:54):
it sounds like a riddle, but everything that we want
if you are living as if you already have that thing,
and you're already feeling the way it would feel to
have the thing, then you already have the feeling you
would have it even if you got it. So it's
kind of like once you get all the stuff right,
(08:16):
like I went really hard in my career, and I
got the accolades, and I got the fancy car, and
I got the fancy house, and I got the fancy things,
and then you're like, oh fuck, I didn't need any
of the fancy things, any of them. Yes, right, but
now shut down all those businesses. Start something that feels
like in true service, which will also keep me accountable
(08:39):
every single day and just be able to meet life
where it's at and be able to practice in real time.
It's okay to become heady about all of this and
get into the education and do the YouTube and be
in the tutorials and join the courses. But unless you're
in complete chaotic insanity and you don't start to bring
(09:02):
the stuff in, there's no point. Like you're just on
the kind of little rat wheel.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
What do you call it?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, thats the rat race.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard, and you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family been
(09:32):
beginning really unwell or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really steered with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I need to live and I can't waste
another second and like.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
What am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(10:09):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink, like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at a RISE is like,
we don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like,
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(10:31):
your life, and it will change your life. And you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy, you know,
on the Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the rise page today and there was one that caught
my eye, and it was so funny because this woman
was talking to you about the importance of starting your
day with something positive and how that will sit you
up for a more positive experience. Not necessarily bring you
more positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive
(11:03):
things that happened to you. So I watched that video
and then that's second I've got it into practice, right,
And I was like, okay, okay, you're right, because I
wake up in like a stressed mode, right, and I
know I should be more mindful. So I was like, okay,
I'm gonna say the mantra, what if everything just wiked out?
What if everything just works out? What if everything just
wixs ut? And I keep saying that, and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
(11:25):
this rainbow just going over our house, like it was
the perfect rainbow.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
And I was like, I gotta tell Zoe that.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Oh, and then I.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Just stayed there for our ages and I was like, okay,
well that in itself is just one of those moments.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by neuroscience.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
There's science behind starting your.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Day with a declaration and affirmation of positive headspace.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Like it it.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It's not just we wooshit.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
No, it like.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Impacts your rath system. Your ra system is your articular
activity system. And what that does is we are consuming
so much information all the time as humans. We are
always scanning for information that makes us true or safe.
So if you wake up and you're like life is hard,
(12:16):
things are hard, and nothing works out for me, your
wrath system is figuring out. Like I'm sure there was
something underneath that rainbow, like there was a traffic jam
or there was this, or that was that, and you
were like, okay, but I see the rainbow in the
traffic jam, and I see the rainbow.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But it's so easy to get caught back up.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
In that like will as you talk about, and I
know there's so many beautiful things that I miss out on.
So it was it was quite like a powerful moment
where I was like, you cannot afford to miss all
of this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(13:22):
child is late for school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio show, Like it
just doesn't.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Like maybe eventually.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
You'll lose your job if you don't keep doing, but
I think we start to lose. We are putting things
in a very important category that aren't and we're putting
ourselves and our mental health and our movement and our
conversations as like something at the bottom of the barrel
(13:52):
to when I've put the kids to bed and I
lay on the couch and I'm scrolling on TikTok and
watching a show at the same time, like.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It just we're responsible.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
And I don't think that anyone can like victimize themselves
because we all have the ability like we really do.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Okay, So give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit, This
isn't like winning the lotto. This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you make keaps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:43):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do, right, And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting
(15:05):
up at five instead of five thirty, Right, But go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say human users.
(15:28):
I want to say it's called like horizon gazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat. Like, if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(15:50):
So when the kids get up, they're like on, they're
like ready, and you're going.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
To be a better parent.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
You're going to be more patient, You're going to be
able to listen to them. They're having a tantrum because
they want the blue cup not the red cup. You're like,
I really understand, I get it. Fuck, I really like
the red cup too. But you won't be just like
pulling them out the door.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Oh maybe you will, you know.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
But I think that starting your day for yourself and
allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the day catch
you up is really important. And then there are a
million other things that we can bring in, Like you
really got to be serious about what you're consuming.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
How much what are you drinking?
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Are you a caffeinated person, Are you're relying on stimulants?
Are you getting your nourishment in like where little like
organisms we need to be fed and watered and slept.
And I think It's like looking at basics, are you
moving every day? And then like how do you see
the world and what are you doing? So co creation
(16:58):
how I teach it isn't wish for thinking that a
Ferrari is going to end up at your doorstep just
because you put it on your vision board. It's like
what am I doing today? What actions am I taking
to be magnetic to what I want? And so like
I had a real doozy of a day on Thursday.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
It was like a fucking.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Doozy, horrendous jet lag. I hadn't slept at all, bench
had food poisoning, my nanny was off.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
One of my.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Favorite favorite teammates within the my business resigned. A lawyer
needed a very specific information from me. My account wanted
to have a really hard conversation. My dog vomited and
I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
I couldn't. My daughter was like, you know, like at me.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
And so it was a real moment of like that
doesn't just kick a person into doing that, kicks you
into like safety seeking, behavior finding security.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And I went into my.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
My autopilot, which is like fix everything now, like blinkers on,
don't talk to me. I'm going to solve all the
world's problems in this moment, and then my husband was like,
you're not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay,
Like a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
(18:32):
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently, like that way of like tunnel vision,
getting everything done, fixing it all in one day and
stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So what
would the other way look like. I saw benj my husband,
(18:56):
downstairs after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know
I was in a wild state when you saw me.
I need you to know that I'm going to practice
something and tomorrow I am not going to do anything
about those things I've already like literally shot off. I've
taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
(19:19):
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
to simmer and connect.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I'm going to go to the beach, beach. I'm going
to go take my daughter to the beach.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
And I am physically going to take myself out of
where I want to be with fixing. And it was
in those moments, and that's what I said at the
beginning of this, which was when the shit hits the fan,
what learnings and what practices are you putting into place?
Because we go to the place we've the safest, we
(20:00):
don't go to the place which we have the greatest growth.
And so I took my own advice and I went
to the beach and I did that stuff. And then
I realized, with a bit of space, you have a
bit of clarity that I was like, oh my god,
this colleague leaving is the best thing for us. And
it hurts because I love them, but you would never
(20:23):
have let them go. You would never And this is
holding the business back.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
And so now on Monday morning, I have three incredible
business strategists that are like, the whole thing has just
come together because there's been space and I've done something
implemented the growth without kind of that habitual. You know,
I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine. Yeah, I
(20:49):
wanted to eat heaps of chips and I wanted.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
To did you do any of that or did you
just go to the beach space.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and it was like this is so
fucked me woke like how boring. And then on the
weekend I definitely had two glasses of red wine.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
That's me being really wild.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
And I've woken up today no jet lag and just
like I just am excited, like I did all my
practices this morning.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I'm back.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yeah. And only it doesn't have to You don't have
to spial for six months. Hmm, Like you can like
do this in a day.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
With manifestations. People off and talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. You took a step back from there and
you just allowed, and then all of a sudden it was.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Trust, yeah, mantra.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
It was like let go, let go, you know, trust
trust for us. But that's really hard for like a
control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you, still
it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate, wait
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(22:08):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
For me.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
God, I get so caught up in that.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I really do, and I think that I'm bigger than that,
or you know, mature enough to like see past it.
But I still compare myself to so many people, and
I'm like, why the hell am I comparing myself to her?
I don't actually want to be like her, but I'm
still comparing myself.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
But if you didn't want what she had, why you
compare exactly?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I don't know, because there must be an answer. There's
got to be something.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
But then I'm like, no, but I don't want to
be doing that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
But do you think that the peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
No one, no one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
And I want to know do you have an answer
on how to get out of that?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus
(23:52):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background and we want people
(24:12):
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level. When we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why,
because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:37):
of yourself. Right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego. And so it's
(24:58):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yes, And when you get into those mindsets, there's such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, Like
they're just fucking waste of time, waste of time.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
And you think you want the push, right, yeah, and
then you get it and you realize no one is
looking at you in your push, no one gives a
shit about you and your push, like they really don't.
And the people that do, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like, really good work it,
and I just remember going, as I said, I was like,
fight o this river, this is not going to be
this is like there was such a big part of
me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment, and
like that was confronting to a lot of people. I
think they were like, why would you step away when
you're in, you know, this possition, And I was like,
(26:01):
I can't really explain it, but I just got to
go home and I got to ground my roads, and
you like, you've got to follow those nudges.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much and you
don't know it's too much until you're in it, and
(26:31):
going like I want something that is enough, not too much,
Like it's weird for people are not okay, and that's
okay because they're not.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
In the same place as you.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
And you just have to be like you will be
confronting for people because they are being mirrored what is
actually trickling back to them, and that's not your problem.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
You just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Living to rural New Zealand.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Next to you fighting for your radio job.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So I have seen you talk about the imbortance of boundaries,
particularly over the last couple of years. Can you talk
through that, like, how does that look for you? Saying
no as a former people pleaser, Oh.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
My god, Like.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
I had Terry Cole, who is like the boundary master,
come on.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Board and take us through it.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
And I think it's just such an interesting thing, especially
raising a little girl to you know, what we're like
as women and how we were raised as children in
the eighties and nineties is such a impact on our
boundaries sexually, with consent, with work, with like signing off
(27:51):
your email's kiss kiss, like all of the stuff as
a woman and boundaries versus even bringing in you know,
men into the equation and how they do boundaries that
just seems so much more adequate than we are. But boundaries.
So I'm writing a book. It's in it's almost at
(28:13):
its final edit, and it's your first part.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's my first deal. Oh my god, it's so great.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's such a wonderful experience. But this, this whole I
have this whole chapter around boundaries because it's almost like
and I explain it like this, like having a door
bitch right to your.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Energy into yourself.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
And you are a exquisite like very very elevated.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Club.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
You know, like like we're talking, you just can't get in.
You need like a membership, you need who's who, like
it is like the Kram Della Cram. And then you've
got drunks.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Out in the middle of the night trying to get
into your club.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
It's like, no, they're going to come in, piss on
the walls, have punch up, smash all the glasses, like
absolutely not, Like this is a sacred place. Boundaries are
for us. It looks like we're putting a boundary there
for somebody else, but they are for us. And when
we say unfortunately, I'm out of office from three pm
(29:26):
every day, and the emails keep coming and you get
back to them on a Monday and they're like, hey,
you didn't get back to my emails. Yeah, it really
clearly states that I'm out of office from three pm
without an explanation. When a family member wants to come
over and see your newborn baby but they're sick, and
you're like, sorry, we're not having visitors for this week
(29:48):
and next and I'd really appreciate it if you could
let me know when you're well and then we'll organize
a time that suits us, you know, like all of
these things, it's not people see it as being rude.
It's not being rude. It's allowing people to understand your
standards and what you require in life. People think that
I am very particular neurotic, and some of those things
(30:17):
are true, but I also have exceptional standards for myself
and then for everybody else. If you're in my orbit,
and if you're not, like I don't mind, but if
you're working with me or if we're friends, there is
a quality that I expect and that I will return
in favor. And I think the boundaries help that. And
(30:41):
I'm really willing, like I love other people's boundaries. When
I see someone like set a boundary, I'm like, fuck,
that's hot. I'm so sexy for them, Like I like respect,
you have self respect, So I mean you want more information.
The whole workshop gives you, like play by play on
how to set a boundary, But this also will come
(31:01):
up in moments that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will
people please when you really should set a boundary.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess we're boundaries.
Sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever. But if if someone comes up and they
ask something in your face and you're like, like the
people pleaser might want to come out like of course.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
I would say, like, if we're going from full on
people pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would
ask for time. I would say like, oh, that's a
really interesting question.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Could I get back to you on.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
That, not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to you on that. That's a
really kind way to pause yourself. Then you could reflect
and go like, oh no, I could have said thank
you so much for the opportunity, it just doesn't fit
for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back today I
have some commitments, you know, or unfortunately my contracts I
(32:02):
end every day five o'clock, I won't be staying back.
But we can negotiate if you wanted to explore something further.
So I think to start with us for time, and
then reflect on what you really wanted to say, and
then always lead with kindness.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It's like being really firm but being really kind.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries, Like you just have.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
So much more time.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
You can't like life is too short to do things
you feel obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And you don't.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
No one deserves anything from you if they're not meeting you.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
And it feels so good.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
It doesn't mean that there are parts of me, like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship. But
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Mm hmmm, I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Today is really exciting. There is a lot of movement,
there's a lot of change, but I am so willing
to evolve and just I think I've had that weird
you know, society impact on me where I have to
(33:57):
keep scaling and growing and scaling, and now I'm just like, no, no,
I'm just gonna I'm going to downsize. And yes, the
quality of what I've got out there is so high,
it's ever green. We don't I don't need need to
do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Or if there was a quote that you live by,
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
I've got one.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
We had to we did this for the book, and
I was like, asking you shall receive, and it's actually
that quote is actually in the Bible, and so we
had to like reference the Bible.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
And then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
So I removed asking you to receive to whether you
think it's true or not? Hang on, it's oh my god,
where do you think it? What do you think it's
true or not?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
You're right right?
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yeah, These are some of the one like that, like
whether you think you can or not, you're right as well.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing
there's too many like I love, let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favorite things therapists because she's very
My therapist is like a psychologist, but she's definitely spiritually inclined.
We had this real we had an amazing session and
(35:29):
we kind of I guess I said that and she's
kept it forever as a reminder to me. Is like,
you know, you can choose the hard way or the
easy way, it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, it's really good for someone who's in a bit
of a rut at the moment, feeling like they're not
loving their best life and there's so much more that
they want to be achieving, but they just feel like
they're kind of stuck. Do you have any advice to
get out of that rut?
Speaker 4 (35:51):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your dispos
come in something really seriously though. Within community is having
people around you to inspire you. We call them rises,
and they're people that show, like, you know how you
were like comparing yourself to the girl at the radio
(36:14):
station being able to transform her into if you wanted
that you didn't want that, right, but say that you
did transforming that envy into someone that stretches you, that
you can talk to, that you're inspired by, is such
an amazing way. And within the community, you have all
(36:35):
these people every day going, oh my god, I'm stuck,
I'm in a rut, and you have someone else coming
up with this helped me? Or did you try this
or this meditation is amazing? Or did you do the
Inner Child workshop? And then you've got people that are
there to champion you. You've got people there that can
help you do priming phone calls. Like I think, staying
accountable is the biggest thing. It's kind of like a
(36:57):
gym work membership or losing weight or doing something new.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
You have to have accountability.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
And that's why I created the community is because and
I'm talking about the Arise community is because when I
was in this ten years ago and there was no
one doing it. It's so hard to stay committed and
to believe. And even when you called in everything and
you've taken the aligned action and you've done everything and
you're in the abyss, which is the time where we
(37:24):
wait for the manifestation to occur, it's hard. Bit I
hate the most, and so having being in a space
that's safe and you can just be like I am
dying here, like my patience is running out what I do,
And they're like, go back to trust, go back to gratitude.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Do like, go back to the work.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
It's such a helpful thing because when you're out on
your loan like an island and you're in the abyss,
You're like.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
It doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Fuck this shit, I'm going back to my old job
that I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I
needed the most, and it's it's very impactful.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
So people can find that. Just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's rise dot com dot a U A
R double I S E. Or on Instagram it's a
Rise A RI I double A S E Underscore Underscot
underscore because I fucked up the first did you charge
of her?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Come on, guys?
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Can you guys?
Speaker 2 (38:31):
That's why you act like you're terrible and then no
one asks you to do things.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
I know. It's a good, good technician accomplishment woman.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Okay, so I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say, Zoe, is it early twenties, she's just finding
her way through life. What would be the biggest nuggative
wisdom that you would in part on younger Zoh.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
It's going to get really really bad and then it's
going to get really really good. So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good.
Like just trust.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
So beautiful Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
I just love because you talk about evolving and how
you love gross and all of that, and I just
feel like every time I see you, you're like an
upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
I love that. It'd be terrible if I had gone backwards, right,
you'd be like, what a disappointment.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
No, but you are.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
But like you grow, you just constantly shifting with putting
a challenges to throw in your way, and I always
look at you as an inspiration. So thank you so
much for coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Thank you, beautiful girl. I can't wait to see you
in real life one day.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Oh that was my chat with Zolley.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation. The most, I think
some of My big takeaway were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when you put it like, oh, if you're going
to be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
You know you have to be.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like Honestly, we have to.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Get strict on it. And I for one, am very
guilty at staying up too.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Late watching TV, particularly lately, so that was a really
good reminder for me. And also I loved when she
was talking about being the gatekeeper for your energy and
being ruthless and really setting the boundaries of who gets
to come into your life, which, as she said, it
sounds you know, it can sound quite brash and rude
and brutal, but I mean, if you want to give
(40:47):
the best version of yourself, you have to get really
clear on who you want to bring into your world.
And then finally, I really liked that story about when
she hit that really day and just letting go when
she hits the fan, instead of trying to fix everything
(41:09):
and going into just the biggest state of overwhelm, actually
removing yourself from that situation and going to the beach,
going for a.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Walk, whatever. It is, just getting out of that.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Moment where the world feels like it's falling in or
the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually stepping.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Back gives you that other perspective.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
So I really like that, not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the end of the world. But
I would love to know what you got out of
the chat this week, and you can help me up
on Instagram. PJDJ send me a little message. I'd love
to know of any other people you think would be
great to get on for Slow It Down. Thank you
(41:50):
so much for joining me for my first episode. I
really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
Okay, Well, this is the awkward part where we usually
promote another podcast on iHeartRadio that you can listen to. Obviously,
always listen to Madi and PJ, but when you're done
listening to us, there is a new podcast out now
called Slow It Down with PJ.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh my god, do we really have to promote this?
We do.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I've been working behind the scenes on a little bit
of a project, and to be honest, it's kind of
selfish because I feel like I need this more than
anyone else. It's at one time a week where basically
I want to remind myself of the importance of slowing
down because life feels chaotic. I just think it feels
busier than ever. We're overwhelmed with information all the time.
(00:44):
So basically I'm sitting aside thirty to forty five minutes
every Sunday for a new chat with someone to talk
about how they find peace in the chaos. So grab
a crystal light, a candle, take your shoes off, and
make sure you ground it in your beer feet.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Is that what we're doing? Do you ever to go?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
All I'm saying is you might walk away feeling inspired,
get a little more relaxed.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I'm very very excited for you. I'm very proud of
you as well. This is really exciting.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So anyway, the podcast Slow It Down is available now
on iHeartRadio. New episodes drop every Sunday and go and
give it a listen.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
With the Heads Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Hello and welcome to Slow It Down.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I'm your host PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well,
pretty selfishly, really, i feel like life is so busy.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Even though I live.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Literally in the middle of nowhere, off grizz surrounded by bush.
You'd think that you could just quiet in the noise,
But I still feel stressed. I still feel overwhelmed. I
still feel, you know, that of keeping up with what
everyone else is doing. And I want to carve out
some time every week to sit down and have really
conscious conversations with people who are also living busy lives.
(02:12):
And I want to pick their brains and work out
how they find peace and the chaos and what rituals
they do to stay sane.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It's that simple.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a placed
you can chill out and listen.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
To over the weekend.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
And I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the show, Zoe Marshall.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
We actually briefly work.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Together back in the day when she was working on
Zidim and Auckland. She worked on a show there for
a while and then we sort of just kept in
touch over the years, and she's gone on to create
some amazing podcasts. She created The Deep and then started
a subscription called The Deeper, and the conversations that she
(03:05):
has had on that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's
talked to people will parents that have been given a
terminal diagnosis. She's talked to isatic's, conscious sex workers. The
list goes on. She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic.
And more recently, she's gone on to create a new
(03:26):
platform called Rise, which helps people create the life they deserve.
And it's all about manifestation, but as she says, it's
manifestation a bit better and she talks about her through
so much more to it than just at being wo
There's a lot of science to back up some of
this stuff. So I can't wait to pick her brain
in this episode, and I really hope you enjoying.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
My chat with Sulley.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh, Zorry, I've been so excited to catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
It has been a while.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I think the last time we talked, I've just given
birth and I went through like a step by step
harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful
face again.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
And you Howard's the baby. He's just gone to Wow,
two years since I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah,
you were living in the bush.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I am kind pretty much.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, yes, although I work in the nearest town now
so I actually do a radio show.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Out of the local rural Talmagi is a twenty minute drive.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Look at you all set up?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Trust of all.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I'll run through what Slow It Down is and kind
of the premise of this podcast and why I thought
you'd be a perfect fat So basically, I think since
moving to the middle of nowhere, you know, I had
this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed and I'd
be grounded, And the reality is I'm still stressed. Life
(04:59):
still feels chay on it, and I have a beautiful
life but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful
in front of you. So I want to talk about
tips and tracks and ways to really feel like.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
You can make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I know, I know for sure.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like
being an elder on a rocking chair, you know, but
(05:42):
like doing all of that now, like the pace, the presence,
the appreciation now. So I am every I'm just I
want to get rid of everything.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I want to get rid of, like a lot of
my belongings.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I want to downce eyes everything in my life. I
want to just have my needs met and then be
able to.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Do less.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
And I am like it already is happening. And I
think it all started with like I had a quite
quite a scary breast scare in June, and.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
That just shifts everything.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
And it's such a shame that human beings need such
a dire situation to wake them up, but I did.
And I just got back from two and a half
weeks in Europe, and Dubai and literally just sitting in
the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
I was like, this is living.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Obviously it's very different circumstances, but what if we could
bring that level. I like to call it like the
magic in the mundane, like finding the miracle.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Stop it.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It's literally like one of my atives, well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane, right.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, And I find like being in awe of everything
around us. So I think we have just been really
stripped of so much importance because of you know, how
distracted we are, how we've got these kind of really
(07:31):
quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able to
focus in and slow down and appreciate the things that
we have. I created a whole new business I got
rid of I slowed down one side of my business
and started a new one which is all around this
and it's around manifestation, co creation mindset. But truly, like
(07:54):
it sounds like a riddle, but everything that we want
if you are living as if you already have that thing,
and you're already feeling the way it would feel to
have the thing, then you already have the feeling you
would have it even if you got it. So it's
kind of like once you get all the stuff right,
(08:16):
like I went really hard in my career, and I
got the accolades, and I got the fancy car, and
I got the fancy house, and I got the fancy things,
and then you're like, oh fuck, I didn't need any
of the fancy things, any of them. Yes, right, but
now shut down all those businesses. Start something that feels
like in true service, which will also keep me accountable
(08:39):
every single day and just be able to meet life
where it's at and be able to practice in real time.
It's okay to become heady about all of this and
get into the education and do the YouTube and be
in the tutorials and join the courses. But unless you're
in complete chaotic insanity and you don't start to bring
(09:02):
the stuff in, there's no point. Like you're just on
the kind of little rat wheel.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
What do you call it?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, thats the rat race.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard, and you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family been
(09:32):
beginning really unwell or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really steered with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I need to live and I can't waste
another second and like.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
What am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(10:09):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink, like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at a RISE is like,
we don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like,
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(10:31):
your life, and it will change your life. And you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy, you know,
on the Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the rise page today and there was one that caught
my eye, and it was so funny because this woman
was talking to you about the importance of starting your
day with something positive and how that will sit you
up for a more positive experience. Not necessarily bring you
more positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive
(11:03):
things that happened to you. So I watched that video
and then that's second I've got it into practice, right,
And I was like, okay, okay, you're right, because I
wake up in like a stressed mode, right, and I
know I should be more mindful. So I was like, okay,
I'm gonna say the mantra, what if everything just wiked out?
What if everything just works out? What if everything just
wixs ut? And I keep saying that, and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
(11:25):
this rainbow just going over our house, like it was
the perfect rainbow.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
And I was like, I gotta tell Zoe that.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Oh, and then I.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Just stayed there for our ages and I was like, okay,
well that in itself is just one of those moments.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by neuroscience.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
There's science behind starting your.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Day with a declaration and affirmation of positive headspace.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Like it it.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It's not just we wooshit.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
No, it like.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Impacts your rath system. Your ra system is your articular
activity system. And what that does is we are consuming
so much information all the time as humans. We are
always scanning for information that makes us true or safe.
So if you wake up and you're like life is hard,
(12:16):
things are hard, and nothing works out for me, your
wrath system is figuring out. Like I'm sure there was
something underneath that rainbow, like there was a traffic jam
or there was this, or that was that, and you
were like, okay, but I see the rainbow in the
traffic jam, and I see the rainbow.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But it's so easy to get caught back up.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
In that like will as you talk about, and I
know there's so many beautiful things that I miss out on.
So it was it was quite like a powerful moment
where I was like, you cannot afford to miss all
of this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(13:22):
child is late for school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio show, Like it
just doesn't.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Like maybe eventually.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
You'll lose your job if you don't keep doing, but
I think we start to lose. We are putting things
in a very important category that aren't and we're putting
ourselves and our mental health and our movement and our
conversations as like something at the bottom of the barrel
(13:52):
to when I've put the kids to bed and I
lay on the couch and I'm scrolling on TikTok and
watching a show at the same time, like.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It just we're responsible.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
And I don't think that anyone can like victimize themselves
because we all have the ability like we really do.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Okay, So give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit, This
isn't like winning the lotto. This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you make keaps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:43):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do, right, And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting
(15:05):
up at five instead of five thirty, Right, But go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say human users.
(15:28):
I want to say it's called like horizon gazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat. Like, if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(15:50):
So when the kids get up, they're like on, they're
like ready, and you're going.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
To be a better parent.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
You're going to be more patient, You're going to be
able to listen to them. They're having a tantrum because
they want the blue cup not the red cup. You're like,
I really understand, I get it. Fuck, I really like
the red cup too. But you won't be just like
pulling them out the door.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Oh maybe you will, you know.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
But I think that starting your day for yourself and
allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the day catch
you up is really important. And then there are a
million other things that we can bring in, Like you
really got to be serious about what you're consuming.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
How much what are you drinking?
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Are you a caffeinated person, Are you're relying on stimulants?
Are you getting your nourishment in like where little like
organisms we need to be fed and watered and slept.
And I think It's like looking at basics, are you
moving every day? And then like how do you see
the world and what are you doing? So co creation
(16:58):
how I teach it isn't wish for thinking that a
Ferrari is going to end up at your doorstep just
because you put it on your vision board. It's like
what am I doing today? What actions am I taking
to be magnetic to what I want? And so like
I had a real doozy of a day on Thursday.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
It was like a fucking.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Doozy, horrendous jet lag. I hadn't slept at all, bench
had food poisoning, my nanny was off.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
One of my.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Favorite favorite teammates within the my business resigned. A lawyer
needed a very specific information from me. My account wanted
to have a really hard conversation. My dog vomited and
I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
I couldn't. My daughter was like, you know, like at me.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
And so it was a real moment of like that
doesn't just kick a person into doing that, kicks you
into like safety seeking, behavior finding security.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And I went into my.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
My autopilot, which is like fix everything now, like blinkers on,
don't talk to me. I'm going to solve all the
world's problems in this moment, and then my husband was like,
you're not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay,
Like a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
(18:32):
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently, like that way of like tunnel vision,
getting everything done, fixing it all in one day and
stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So what
would the other way look like. I saw benj my husband,
(18:56):
downstairs after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know
I was in a wild state when you saw me.
I need you to know that I'm going to practice
something and tomorrow I am not going to do anything
about those things I've already like literally shot off. I've
taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
(19:19):
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
to simmer and connect.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I'm going to go to the beach, beach. I'm going
to go take my daughter to the beach.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
And I am physically going to take myself out of
where I want to be with fixing. And it was
in those moments, and that's what I said at the
beginning of this, which was when the shit hits the fan,
what learnings and what practices are you putting into place?
Because we go to the place we've the safest, we
(20:00):
don't go to the place which we have the greatest growth.
And so I took my own advice and I went
to the beach and I did that stuff. And then
I realized, with a bit of space, you have a
bit of clarity that I was like, oh my god,
this colleague leaving is the best thing for us. And
it hurts because I love them, but you would never
(20:23):
have let them go. You would never And this is
holding the business back.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
And so now on Monday morning, I have three incredible
business strategists that are like, the whole thing has just
come together because there's been space and I've done something
implemented the growth without kind of that habitual. You know,
I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine. Yeah, I
(20:49):
wanted to eat heaps of chips and I wanted.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
To did you do any of that or did you
just go to the beach space.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and it was like this is so
fucked me woke like how boring. And then on the
weekend I definitely had two glasses of red wine.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
That's me being really wild.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
And I've woken up today no jet lag and just
like I just am excited, like I did all my
practices this morning.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I'm back.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yeah. And only it doesn't have to You don't have
to spial for six months. Hmm, Like you can like
do this in a day.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
With manifestations. People off and talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. You took a step back from there and
you just allowed, and then all of a sudden it was.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Trust, yeah, mantra.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
It was like let go, let go, you know, trust
trust for us. But that's really hard for like a
control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you, still
it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate, wait
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(22:08):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
For me.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
God, I get so caught up in that.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I really do, and I think that I'm bigger than that,
or you know, mature enough to like see past it.
But I still compare myself to so many people, and
I'm like, why the hell am I comparing myself to her?
I don't actually want to be like her, but I'm
still comparing myself.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
But if you didn't want what she had, why you
compare exactly?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I don't know, because there must be an answer. There's
got to be something.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
But then I'm like, no, but I don't want to
be doing that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
But do you think that the peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
No one, no one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
And I want to know do you have an answer
on how to get out of that?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus
(23:52):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background and we want people
(24:12):
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level. When we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why,
because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:37):
of yourself. Right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego. And so it's
(24:58):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yes, And when you get into those mindsets, there's such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, Like
they're just fucking waste of time, waste of time.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
And you think you want the push, right, yeah, and
then you get it and you realize no one is
looking at you in your push, no one gives a
shit about you and your push, like they really don't.
And the people that do, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like, really good work it,
and I just remember going, as I said, I was like,
fight o this river, this is not going to be
this is like there was such a big part of
me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment, and
like that was confronting to a lot of people. I
think they were like, why would you step away when
you're in, you know, this possition, And I was like,
(26:01):
I can't really explain it, but I just got to
go home and I got to ground my roads, and
you like, you've got to follow those nudges.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much and you
don't know it's too much until you're in it, and
(26:31):
going like I want something that is enough, not too much,
Like it's weird for people are not okay, and that's
okay because they're not.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
In the same place as you.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
And you just have to be like you will be
confronting for people because they are being mirrored what is
actually trickling back to them, and that's not your problem.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
You just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Living to rural New Zealand.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Next to you fighting for your radio job.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So I have seen you talk about the imbortance of boundaries,
particularly over the last couple of years. Can you talk
through that, like, how does that look for you? Saying
no as a former people pleaser, Oh.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
My god, Like.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
I had Terry Cole, who is like the boundary master,
come on.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Board and take us through it.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
And I think it's just such an interesting thing, especially
raising a little girl to you know, what we're like
as women and how we were raised as children in
the eighties and nineties is such a impact on our
boundaries sexually, with consent, with work, with like signing off
(27:51):
your email's kiss kiss, like all of the stuff as
a woman and boundaries versus even bringing in you know,
men into the equation and how they do boundaries that
just seems so much more adequate than we are. But boundaries.
So I'm writing a book. It's in it's almost at
(28:13):
its final edit, and it's your first part.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's my first deal. Oh my god, it's so great.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's such a wonderful experience. But this, this whole I
have this whole chapter around boundaries because it's almost like
and I explain it like this, like having a door
bitch right to your.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Energy into yourself.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
And you are a exquisite like very very elevated.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Club.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
You know, like like we're talking, you just can't get in.
You need like a membership, you need who's who, like
it is like the Kram Della Cram. And then you've
got drunks.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Out in the middle of the night trying to get
into your club.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
It's like, no, they're going to come in, piss on
the walls, have punch up, smash all the glasses, like
absolutely not, Like this is a sacred place. Boundaries are
for us. It looks like we're putting a boundary there
for somebody else, but they are for us. And when
we say unfortunately, I'm out of office from three pm
(29:26):
every day, and the emails keep coming and you get
back to them on a Monday and they're like, hey,
you didn't get back to my emails. Yeah, it really
clearly states that I'm out of office from three pm
without an explanation. When a family member wants to come
over and see your newborn baby but they're sick, and
you're like, sorry, we're not having visitors for this week
(29:48):
and next and I'd really appreciate it if you could
let me know when you're well and then we'll organize
a time that suits us, you know, like all of
these things, it's not people see it as being rude.
It's not being rude. It's allowing people to understand your
standards and what you require in life. People think that
I am very particular neurotic, and some of those things
(30:17):
are true, but I also have exceptional standards for myself
and then for everybody else. If you're in my orbit,
and if you're not, like I don't mind, but if
you're working with me or if we're friends, there is
a quality that I expect and that I will return
in favor. And I think the boundaries help that. And
(30:41):
I'm really willing, like I love other people's boundaries. When
I see someone like set a boundary, I'm like, fuck,
that's hot. I'm so sexy for them, Like I like respect,
you have self respect, So I mean you want more information.
The whole workshop gives you, like play by play on
how to set a boundary, But this also will come
(31:01):
up in moments that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will
people please when you really should set a boundary.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess we're boundaries.
Sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever. But if if someone comes up and they
ask something in your face and you're like, like the
people pleaser might want to come out like of course.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
I would say, like, if we're going from full on
people pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would
ask for time. I would say like, oh, that's a
really interesting question.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Could I get back to you on.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
That, not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to you on that. That's a
really kind way to pause yourself. Then you could reflect
and go like, oh no, I could have said thank
you so much for the opportunity, it just doesn't fit
for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back today I
have some commitments, you know, or unfortunately my contracts I
(32:02):
end every day five o'clock, I won't be staying back.
But we can negotiate if you wanted to explore something further.
So I think to start with us for time, and
then reflect on what you really wanted to say, and
then always lead with kindness.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It's like being really firm but being really kind.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries, Like you just have.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
So much more time.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
You can't like life is too short to do things
you feel obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And you don't.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
No one deserves anything from you if they're not meeting you.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
And it feels so good.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
It doesn't mean that there are parts of me, like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship. But
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Mm hmmm, I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Today is really exciting. There is a lot of movement,
there's a lot of change, but I am so willing
to evolve and just I think I've had that weird
you know, society impact on me where I have to
(33:57):
keep scaling and growing and scaling, and now I'm just like, no, no,
I'm just gonna I'm going to downsize. And yes, the
quality of what I've got out there is so high,
it's ever green. We don't I don't need need to
do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Or if there was a quote that you live by,
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
I've got one.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
We had to we did this for the book, and
I was like, asking you shall receive, and it's actually
that quote is actually in the Bible, and so we
had to like reference the Bible.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
And then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
So I removed asking you to receive to whether you
think it's true or not? Hang on, it's oh my god,
where do you think it? What do you think it's
true or not?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
You're right right?
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yeah, These are some of the one like that, like
whether you think you can or not, you're right as well.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing
there's too many like I love, let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favorite things therapists because she's very
My therapist is like a psychologist, but she's definitely spiritually inclined.
We had this real we had an amazing session and
(35:29):
we kind of I guess I said that and she's
kept it forever as a reminder to me. Is like,
you know, you can choose the hard way or the
easy way, it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, it's really good for someone who's in a bit
of a rut at the moment, feeling like they're not
loving their best life and there's so much more that
they want to be achieving, but they just feel like
they're kind of stuck. Do you have any advice to
get out of that rut?
Speaker 4 (35:51):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your dispos
come in something really seriously though. Within community is having
people around you to inspire you. We call them rises,
and they're people that show, like, you know how you
were like comparing yourself to the girl at the radio
(36:14):
station being able to transform her into if you wanted
that you didn't want that, right, but say that you
did transforming that envy into someone that stretches you, that
you can talk to, that you're inspired by, is such
an amazing way. And within the community, you have all
(36:35):
these people every day going, oh my god, I'm stuck,
I'm in a rut, and you have someone else coming
up with this helped me? Or did you try this
or this meditation is amazing? Or did you do the
Inner Child workshop? And then you've got people that are
there to champion you. You've got people there that can
help you do priming phone calls. Like I think, staying
accountable is the biggest thing. It's kind of like a
(36:57):
gym work membership or losing weight or doing something new.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
You have to have accountability.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
And that's why I created the community is because and
I'm talking about the Arise community is because when I
was in this ten years ago and there was no
one doing it. It's so hard to stay committed and
to believe. And even when you called in everything and
you've taken the aligned action and you've done everything and
you're in the abyss, which is the time where we
(37:24):
wait for the manifestation to occur, it's hard. Bit I
hate the most, and so having being in a space
that's safe and you can just be like I am
dying here, like my patience is running out what I do,
And they're like, go back to trust, go back to gratitude.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Do like, go back to the work.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
It's such a helpful thing because when you're out on
your loan like an island and you're in the abyss,
You're like.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
It doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Fuck this shit, I'm going back to my old job
that I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I
needed the most, and it's it's very impactful.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
So people can find that. Just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's rise dot com dot a U A
R double I S E. Or on Instagram it's a
Rise A RI I double A S E Underscore Underscot
underscore because I fucked up the first did you charge
of her?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Come on, guys?
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Can you guys?
Speaker 2 (38:31):
That's why you act like you're terrible and then no
one asks you to do things.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
I know. It's a good, good technician accomplishment woman.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Okay, so I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say, Zoe, is it early twenties, she's just finding
her way through life. What would be the biggest nuggative
wisdom that you would in part on younger Zoh.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
It's going to get really really bad and then it's
going to get really really good. So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good.
Like just trust.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
So beautiful Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
I just love because you talk about evolving and how
you love gross and all of that, and I just
feel like every time I see you, you're like an
upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
I love that. It'd be terrible if I had gone backwards, right,
you'd be like, what a disappointment.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
No, but you are.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
But like you grow, you just constantly shifting with putting
a challenges to throw in your way, and I always
look at you as an inspiration. So thank you so
much for coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Thank you, beautiful girl. I can't wait to see you
in real life one day.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Oh that was my chat with Zolley.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation. The most, I think
some of My big takeaway were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when you put it like, oh, if you're going
to be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
You know you have to be.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like Honestly, we have to.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Get strict on it. And I for one, am very
guilty at staying up too.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Late watching TV, particularly lately, so that was a really
good reminder for me. And also I loved when she
was talking about being the gatekeeper for your energy and
being ruthless and really setting the boundaries of who gets
to come into your life, which, as she said, it
sounds you know, it can sound quite brash and rude
and brutal, but I mean, if you want to give
(40:47):
the best version of yourself, you have to get really
clear on who you want to bring into your world.
And then finally, I really liked that story about when
she hit that really day and just letting go when
she hits the fan, instead of trying to fix everything
(41:09):
and going into just the biggest state of overwhelm, actually
removing yourself from that situation and going to the beach,
going for a.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Walk, whatever. It is, just getting out of that.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Moment where the world feels like it's falling in or
the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually stepping.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Back gives you that other perspective.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
So I really like that, not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the end of the world. But
I would love to know what you got out of
the chat this week, and you can help me up
on Instagram. PJDJ send me a little message. I'd love
to know of any other people you think would be
great to get on for Slow It Down. Thank you
(41:50):
so much for joining me for my first episode. I
really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
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