Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
Episodes
April 28, 2025 • 49 mins
A mother comes to Esther for help dealing with the escalating conflicts between her husband and their teenage daughter. She's tired of being caught in the middle and blamed by both sides. Together, they explore the family dynamics and the need for both parents to take responsibility for the relational space they share.
Topic - Relationships with Family & Friends
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone ca...
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April 21, 2025 • 54 mins
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? An on-again, off-again couple in their fifties, dating in a post-divorce landscape, are struggling with different world views, priorities and sexual interests. Recognizing that their polarized dynamic takes the fun out of spending time together, Esther guides both towards less rigid perspectives.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improv...
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April 14, 2025 • 64 mins
Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack. Esther tries to help them notice their patterns of escalation and break the cycle they keep finding themselves in.
Topic - Conflict & Polarization
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to ...
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April 7, 2025 • 47 mins
"Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a career out of tending to the needs of others wonders if she's too much or not enough in her romantic relationships. Esther guides her to explore her sense of self-worth and ask for what she needs.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They ar...
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March 31, 2025 • 50 mins
Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in communication that have led to this strained relationship and how to evolve for the sake of her kids.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarit...
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March 24, 2025 • 64 mins
She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they have lost their connection and their sense of self. Despite creating a life story where family is the center of everything, they feel completely alone. Can Esther help them write a new story?
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your rela...
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March 17, 2025 • 55 mins
We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both of which immediately constrict our imagination and our ability to face the unknown with curiosity and discovery. Join Esther Perel for a live conversation on the Vox Media Podcast Stage at South By Southwest with futurist Amy Webb and innovation expert Frederik Pferdt as they discuss h...
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March 10, 2025 • 53 mins
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A young couple has endured a series of crises early in their marriage, from a benign brain tumor to a serious car crash to the husband’s near-fatal heart attack. Following his recovery, he’s adapting to new physical limitations, while she says the children bear the brunt of his frustrations. Esther coaches them through an honest conversation on anger, parenthood and the power of a...
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March 3, 2025 • 48 mins
Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attempts on her end to reconcile, she is now trying to grieve the loss of her still very much-alive father. Esther helps her unravel questions about starting her own family amidst this painful cutoff.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They a...
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February 24, 2025 • 39 mins
Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fear of intimacy and rejection, and the complex dynamics of her family background. Esther helps her confront these deeply rooted fears, encouraging her to vocalize her needs and to realize that not everything negative is about her. The conversation opens up pathways for the woman to seek...
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February 17, 2025 • 54 mins
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? After ten years, a husband tells his wife he no longer wishes to be married. A month later, stuck in limbo, they come to Esther. She helps them have an honest conversation about their expectations, desires, and the ways in which their role as parents has left little room for intimacy.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your...
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February 10, 2025 • 63 mins
Sexual preferences demand a lot of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability in relationships. This week, Esther talks with a couple who are refreshingly open and honest about their fantasies. But after 15 years of marriage, his fetish is no longer her pleasure. Esther helps them uncover the underlying emotional needs driving their fantasies and encourages them to seek a broader and more emotionally connected sexual repertoire.
Want to l...
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February 3, 2025 • 46 mins
They had a whirlwind romance, and he spun a tale of their future to come—marriage, kids, a life together. He's in his mid-forties, and she is in her late thirties, and so after only three months together, she is pregnant, and they have broken up. Now, Esther meets her the month after their breakup and tries to help her illuminate a path forward.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. T...
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January 27, 2025 • 64 mins
Should we have tried harder to make this work? What if you're the one who got away? These are the questions that keep us up at night. This week, Esther helps a couple who were together for eight years and broke up a year ago. They've recently reconnected and wonder if they should give it another try. If they do, can they avoid falling into their old dynamics and truly learn to listen to each other?
For the month of January, Esthe...
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January 20, 2025 • 56 mins
For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she does a session with the two of them as they detail how they feel stuck in their sexual pattern, where he always initiates, but when he initiates, she freezes. They try to figure out where they can go from here.
For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hour...
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January 13, 2025 • 47 mins
This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther helps her untangle the traumatic pieces from her past before her current relationship that are informing the anxiety she feels when her partner initiates sex. This episode contains references to a sexual assault. Please take care listening.
For the month of January, Esther is offering 20...
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January 6, 2025 • 47 mins
A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lover but she lost an important friend. Did this friend with benefits ghost her or did she miss something?
For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infid...
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December 16, 2024 • 55 mins
After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through establishing boundaries with grace, breaking generational cycles, and the importance of self-acceptance.
If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session w...
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December 2, 2024 • 49 mins
This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening.
Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. This week, Esther talks to a woman stricken with grief--one year ago, her sister and father died in quick succession. Her remaining family was torn apa...
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November 18, 2024 • 59 mins
Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. Oftentimes, our sexual fantasies exist in this space and reveal us at our most bare, showing us not just what we want sexually, but what we want emotionally and psychologically. Even with a loving partner, it can be difficult to share ou...
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