The Quibbler: A Harry Potter Book Club
A Harry Potter book club for grownups. Heather Price-Wright and Alex Dalenberg make their way through the Harry Potter books, chapter by chapter. We analyze avada kedavra. We dissect Dumbledore. We question quidditch. And we hail Hermione. Join us as we go as deep as you've always wanted to into the books that defined our childhoods. Alohamora—the door is open.
Episodes
January 17, 2022 • 81 mins
A lot of important things happen in this chapter, but also, Minerva McGonagall leads a flock of Hogwarts desk into battle. Awesome. This week, The Golden Trio stick to a plan; LoVo should fire his advance team; Draco’s mommy wuvs him; and we bid goodnight, sweet(?) Half-Blood Prince. Plus: actual, Hagrid-style weeping about Hagrid.
This time: The Elder Wand
Next time: The Prince’s Tale
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December 7, 2021 • 106 mins
Fred Weasley was dead, to begin with. Sorry, we just had to remind you exactly what you’re getting into with this episode. But don’t worry! There’s also hellfire! And murder! And toxic workplaces! And snogging! And impossible moral conundrums! And bitchy ghosts! And PUNS ON PUNS ON PUNS! And a very limited amount of singing.
This time: The Battle of Hogwarts
Next time: The Elder Wand
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October 5, 2021 • 84 mins
Five years, 100 episodes, every single conceivable permutation of the f-word, and a 45-minute summary of a pretty throwaway chapter. Welcome back, witches! Sorry we wrote that. Anyway, this week, some classic Rowling quirks rear their fat pig heads, including ugly villains, reactionary teens, brutal foreshadowing of fractured families, and cool hidden Hogwarts tricks. Harry also does a torture. Plus: We … sing? A lot?
This time: ...
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September 6, 2021 • 84 mins
Can we get away with not acknowledging that this is our first episode since February? No, huh? Don’t worry, there’s an explanation at the beginning, but mostly this is just a long, unhinged summary with digressions into wizard bathroom habits (thanks, Twitter) and interruptions from a puppy. Neville has some battle scars; Harry learns to accept help; Aberforth makes a mean ploughman’s lunch; and the Snape Discourse gets ever-more m...
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February 8, 2021 • 61 mins
Pretty annoying to meet the best character in the final act of the final book, but that's the hand we're dealt with G.O.A.T. Aberforth Dumbledore. This week: Ron's hunger makes him stupid(er), we miss dive bars immensely, and a terrible family saga finally sees the light of day. Plus: aspersions of goat … uh … loving. It takes all sorts.
This week: The Missing Mirror
Next week: The Lost Diadem
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December 24, 2020 • 34 mins
And to all a good night! This is just us reading aloud to you and cracking wise. Plus an alarming amount of doctrinal history. Because you know you've always wanted to hear us talk about Trinitarians versus the Arian Heresy.
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December 24, 2020 • 60 mins
Ever wonder what it sounds like when someone who has basically never danced "summarizes" a ballet? Wonder no more, because this week we watched the New York City Ballet's streaming production of The Nutcracker! So naturally we talk about ghosts, illicit sexual desire, the problematic ideals of "multiculturalism" in America, and Alex uses the phrase "wild with grief." But also we talk outfits, don't worry. Merry Christmas Eve!
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December 19, 2020 • 78 mins
This one's a bit delayed, as it was something of an emotional gauntlet to edit (you'll hear why in the latter half. Be warned.) We watched the stop-motion Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV special and A Charlie Brown Christmas, and we loved one and hated the other. Betcha can't guess which! It does get real toward the end, and we dedicate this episode to everyone spending this season grieving someone beloved.
Next time (sometime)...
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December 5, 2020 • 50 mins
Spend this very strange holiday season with us, quibbling about the Christmas classics that make us merry and/or cause us to cringe. First up, the ultimate tale of holiday alienation and a master class in Committing to the Bit: The Grinch! Yuletide supervillain or just a guy sick of noise and Amazon packages?
We'll be dropping more holiday goodies throughout the rest of the month, so stay tuned! xoxo
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December 2, 2020 • 80 mins
This is an 80 minute episode about a 17 minute chapter. The summary is twice the length of the chapter itself. You. Are. Welcome! This week: Heather tells an unfollowable anecdote about animal actors; Alex and Heather both mangle explanations of the social and physical sciences; Alex and Heather ALSO talk about their dreams, for some reason; also there's a Harry Potter chapter with a dragon and maybe some murders, we think? It's a ...
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November 23, 2020 • 70 mins
A truly vintage episode in which we actually just quibble for an hour. For example: Do wizards think banks and mines are the same thing? Has Ron seen Borat? If goblins have this extremely handy Thief's Downfall thing for detecting bank robbers, why not put it … at … the entrance? Is Hermione just totally asleep at the wheel here or does she actually think this broke-ass Ocean's Four nonsense will succeed? Why does Griphook open doo...
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October 31, 2020 • 130 mins
It's the spookiest Halloween in a long, long, long time, so we're rewarding (?) you all with a long, long, LONG final episode of The Nibbler. Seriously this thing is gargantuan. What did we even talk about? Dust motes? Child brides? Eternal sleeplessness? Accidentally becoming full, un-ironic fans of this series despite the fact that it barely qualifies as having a plot? ALL OF IT AND MORE. Plus: Freaked out forgers, vampire fat ac...
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October 26, 2020 • 75 mins
The One Where We Alienate Most of our Remaining Listeners Who Still Like Harry Potter. Kidding-ish, but this is the first one recorded post-Rowling screed(s), so yeah, we get into it a bit. Also, some of Bill's best friends are goblins, heterosexual marriage cures Lupin of … being old and tired? and Ron makes every bad-faith devil's advocate argument you could ever hope to find on Reddit. And we learn about art history a little bit...
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September 22, 2020 • 78 mins
We very irrationally still call these "minis," but at any rate, let's ease back into the Potterverse by discussing the surprisingly fun—considering all the death, despair, camping, etc.—first installment of the Deathly Hallows films! This week, the Grangers are definitely about a month from being charged with murdering their daughter; two Death Eaters go deep undercover in coveralls; Ron has bad-news snowblindness; Lucius loses his...
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July 5, 2020 • 89 mins
OK, so we're (still) doing this. We recorded before a lot of real-world shit went down, which is just the way of things these days, but we still managed to talk about Ibram X. Kendi and class warfare. Very on-brand. Also this week, Ron eulogizes poorly; Fleur-ence Nightingale nurses an enormous number of people back to health; Griphook expresses correct and healthy skepticism of so-called "ally" wizards; and Greg uses the elder wan...
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June 10, 2020 • 14 mins
As promised, and because you gorgeous people raised THOUSANDS of dollars in the last 2 weeks for bail funds, criminal justice reform, affordable legal services, community health organizations, local and national Black Lives Matter affiliates, and more, here are all the summaries of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, spliced together. Here's what we learned: 1) WOW the early audio was bad; how did anyone get through this? 2) We ...
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May 12, 2020 • 104 mins
In which we finally and totally dispense with the notion that these are chapter "summaries." So much Manor action, so little time! This week, Fenrir stirs up some stereotypes, Bellatrix has a "cool girl villain" accessory, Death Eater Nation is essentially a failed state, Scabbers finally snuffs it, and Dobby dies with his socks on. Plus: Draco Malfoy, Meme Lord.
This week's chapter: Malfor Manor
Next week's chapter: The Wandmake...
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May 5, 2020 • 41 mins
Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! Let's talk teachers. Why are the best lessons in the entire series taught by a supervillain? Why does Hagrid get to just like, introduce monsters and see what happens? Why doesn't everyone have to take arithmency, which seems like wizard math? Be honest, is astronomy really astrology, and if so, can I sign up? How does Ron know how to write his name? Why isn't there art class? Who in god's name put ...
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April 16, 2020 • 44 mins
This episode is a lot of us patting ourselves on the back about how good podcasts are. Not ours, necessarily; mostly Lee Jordan's. We would for sure listen to his podcast. This week, Hermione gets an iota of the credit she's due; Harry has hallows mania; Remus has an extremely underwhelming alias; Ron sort of agrees with everyone; and Alex lectures us on strong passwords. Plus: Very little talk about the Virus that Must Not be Name...
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March 20, 2020 • 69 mins
Podcasting in the time of pestilence … hope you're all hanging in there and prepared to use some of your potentially ample alone time to TALK ABOUT DEATH. Sorry, the timing of this one is weird, but yeah, it's a lot about death. And what shoes Death might wear. And what pants. And impossible moral choices in times of crisis. And the need to believe in something. And Patrick Stewart, a bit. Plus: Does Hermione actually believe in ma...
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