07 17 2024 Do you and your spouse live happily ever after in a sleep divorce?

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello, Kelly Nash, Good morning, It's Tomorrow Show today. This is
Jonathan Rush, Kelly Nash. Someonetold me that I was at well Lee's
big wedding over the weekend. Theysaid, well, listen to the Morning
Rush every morning. They live inMyrtle Beach. They live in Myrtle Beach,
so they're big on the iHeart radioapp. So we could, yes,

(00:20):
they are, so tomorrow, whetheryou're calling it from Myrtle Beach.
Remember it's eight oh three and nobody'stalking about I haven't met anybody with a
new ZIP area code yet, haveyou? When they give you your phone
number, I would strongly protest that. If I was getting a new phone
number and they were like, well, you're gonna whatever it is is like
nine seven three or whatever like that, and I'd be like, well,

(00:42):
no, I'm ato three right,I would do whatever I could to stay
in the They in the aight ohthree. So we're in the aight oh
three here in the Midlands. Eighto three nine seven eight nine two sixty
seven. Now tomorrow we start talking. You start talking and Sally and I
have been a part of this foryears, mostly because they're a couple of
rules of my house at four ohfive a. She cannot hear the alarm,

(01:04):
so she can't be in the samebedroom. B I'm not allowed to
even open a cabinet where a panmay be used. There will be no
rattling of kitchen dishes. There willbe no pans. There's nothing cooked in
the morning. If you're going toeat something, have cereal and do it
quietly. She does not want tobe interrupted while she's sleeping, So no

(01:29):
Captain crunch. That's too long.You better have some water down corn flakes,
Milk down corn flakes. So Ifrom my situation because I do get
up and Kelly and I live onthe opposite end of the clot which is
a real pain. Yes, Ilove getting up and doing the morning show,
but it's just not a good lifestyle. You don't mesh with anybody's clock.

(01:52):
So I understand why Sally would notwant to sleep in the bedroom with
me. But more and more amirror kids are sleeping in separate bedrooms and
they don't get up at four o'clockin the morning and do a morning show.
It's an explosion. According to sleepexperts, the increase began sometime around
twenty eighteen and has been really catchingon since twenty twenty two, twenty twenty

(02:17):
three, and they did. Thename they came up with it is a
sleep divorce. So according to theAmerican Academy of Sleep Medicine, now twenty
nine percent of American couples, eithermarried or in spouse like relationships no longer
share a bedroom. About basically athird third of Americans no longer share the

(02:42):
room. And if you go backfifteen years ago, their research showed it
was like ninety eight point nine percent, so it was almost everybody that was
The accepted practice is that we allsleep together. But according to doctor Seemah
Sia, I'm not sure if I'mgetting that name right, but first name
is Sema. Doctor Seema says theterm sleep divorce may sound alarming, but

(03:08):
it's not about ending the relationship.If anything, it's enhancing the relationship.
It's really about prioritizing your sleep healthand addressing the sleep issues that may have
been eroding your relationship, things likesnoring, tossing, and turning for you,
differing sleep schedules. A sleep divorcecan actually serve to improve the relationship,

(03:31):
as we're happier and less irritable whenwe're well rested, and having a
sleep arrangement that works for both peoplecan reduce conflict and resentment. So you're
a fan of it. Yeah,And it's funny because I thought about this
yesterday. When I got home,I had an opportunity to take a nap.

(03:52):
Now, that doesn't mean if Sally'sgoing to be getting ready, because
our bedroom really is kind of thehub for me, for both of us.
She sleeps in another bedroom, whichis the next the bedroom next door,
okay, but all of her stuffto get ready is in our bedroom.
So if I'm taking a nap andshe's getting ready to go somewhere,
I mean she'll use the hair dryeror she'll do all that stuff. And

(04:15):
I don't I don't mind it somuch. She always makes up my bed.
I don't live by the rule.First thing of the day is make
up your own bed. I don'tmake up my own bed. I get
up and go to work. Yeah. So she comes in and tidies up
the room, she makes the bed, she does all that stuff. So
it's not like I have my separatesleep quarters like at summer camp. Thankfully,

(04:38):
somebody comes in and makes the bed, as if I would care because
the only time I go back inthat room is when I go to bed
anyway, So it doesn't matter tome. I'm a typical I'm stuck in
like fourteen year old mindset when itcomes to my room. So she keeps
it up and everything but your fairfaucet poster on the wall. I can't
imagine if I and I would imaginethat when when I'm no longer doing doing

(05:00):
a morning show, which I can'timagine unless Jesus caused me back, that's
not going to happen. I can'tforesee the day when she and I are
going to share a bedroom together again. So you're saying, if you didn't
do a morning show, you're seventyseven years old whatever, and you're all
done. I'm wrapped up. I'mJoe Pinner. You're still not in them.
I can't imagine that. Why wouldyou not sleep together. We didn't

(05:23):
even see together. If we goto like go out of town and stuff,
I get my own bedroom. Waitminute, if you're in a hotel,
you don't sleep in the same hotelor do you not stay in the
hotels? Yeah? Well even well, I We'll get a sweet and I'll
sleep in the other room. Isleep on the fold out what. Oh,
absolutely, I just want to Idon't want to have to be concerned

(05:43):
about waking her up. Was thisa difficult transition, like for either one
of you? I mean who suggestedit? You or her? I think
she just moved out. So shesaid, when I started to do a
morning show, she moved out,moved down the hallway. When you start,
and you've been doing morning shows sinceyou got here in what eighty eight?

(06:04):
When started when we were in Raleigh, I guess, so you were
still doing the morning shows in Raleigh. And so what year you get married
eighty five and you were doing afternoonsin Charlotte or whatever. So when you
first got married the first year,yeah, you're sleeping in the same bedroom.

(06:25):
And then you moved to Raleigh.Once I moved the mornings, that
was it. And she said,she moved down the hallway. And then
you moved into this house, andyou moved here in eighty eight or eighty
nine or whenever you moved into thehouse. We never slept in the same
bedroom, so there was never aplan like it was just understood. We
had a three bedroom rental and ShandonI slept in once she slept in the

(06:46):
other Janey was a baby who sleptin the other one. That was it.
We're all, wow, that's that'sAnd when you explain that to people
back then, did their heads justspin around? Y'all don't sleep in the
same ed. Several people will saythat you don't sleep, but you're not
in the same bed. No,he gets up at four o'clock in the
morning. I'm not waking up.They're like, yeah, a girl,

(07:08):
I wouldn't put up with that either. I'm lucky to have a bedroom.
Basically, It's what I'm saying.Yeah, I wonder how many people because
like it does list here that it'sthat's one of it. Differing sleep schedules,
But like I have a differing sleepschedule than angela way different. I

(07:30):
mean, she probably comes to bedon average at one in the morning.
Wow. Like last night I wentto the bathroom at one point thirty and
she still wasn't in their bed.Wow. But she got in sometime I'm
thinking around two. And now forme, it was the it's the I

(07:50):
don't want to say tossing and turning, because once she's settled in, she's
good. Usually she'll make some funnynoises in the middle of the night.
And I know I make some funnynoises too, but you know, those
noises can wake you up and itcan be a distraction. But really it's
when she's settling down and she's movingthe sheets. It feels like, I
don't know why it works out thatway. It always just comes off of

(08:13):
me, and I'm like, dangit, pulling it back. We'll have
like a little pulling back, likea tug of war with a blanket or
something. But you know, forme, I'm cool as long as I
can go to sleep, and Iwant to go to sleep. That's where
we have the problems, because likeif I'm on vacation or if i'm whatever,

(08:37):
even Friday or Saturday night, She'slike, no, no, no,
you don't get to go to bedat eight, not now. Now
you're on grown up time, right, And I'm like, you know,
at nine o'clock, I'm like,I'm really, I'm like in I don't
want to say Joe Biden mode,but I'm pretty I'm pretty much starting to
lose focus of my words. Well, I don't really impose that much because
I'll go to bed ten thirty eleven, o'clock. That's what time she's going

(09:00):
a bit, and I still getup at four o'clock in the morning,
but about every other day I haveto take a nap, Like today's no
nap time. I got a busyday. Yesterday I had a two hour
nap two hours while it was wokenup early because of that thunder dang it,
thunder man. I was sleeping goodtoo. So snoring is a big
one here, which I guess wecould put into the weird sounds that people

(09:20):
make. But if you're snoring,go see your doctor and get a sleep
test and get one of those bypaps. You will sleep much better with a
bike. I love my BiPAP,not a seatpap. A seatpap is the
constant pressure. Okay, the bypapbreathes with you. The bypap is the
is the deal that I cannot goanywhere without my bypap. I don't even

(09:46):
take a nap without my bipath.It just because I have the sleep ap
now and we're we're having fun hereon the podcast. So this is not
something I don't think I would saythis on the air, but Angela has
something that they the name sounds horrible. It's called night terrors. So if
she's stressed, and she often isbecause of you know, school board meetings,

(10:09):
real estate deals that are coming downto the wire, whatever, if
she's stressed. The first time ithappened was like day three of our marriage,
and I was just like I satstraight up in the bed, as
like, what the freak is goingon? Because she just starts making this

(10:30):
noise and I can't even get thathigh of the pitch. But it's like
she'll just be a sound asleep andit'll just be like, what the freak
has happened? And she'll go awayevery now and again on these like girl

(10:50):
weekends or whatever, and she hadapparently sometimes there's like an extra thing to
that, and it's like it's kindalmost like a yodel or something. And
her it scared the crap out ofone of her friends, and she said
it sounded like they were leading thelamb to slaughter. Good reasons to sleep

(11:13):
and lock your door? So whatdo you have a sleep divorce? And
what caused the sleep divorce? Andor are you considering a sleep divorce?
There's so much going on. Percentof American married couples, it's an explosion
We've never seen anything like this inAmerican I wonder what it was like,

(11:35):
so like when I was a littlekid, and for perspective, I'm fifty
seven. When I was a littlekid, I remember I had a set
of grandparents that slept in the sameroom, but just like Ricky and Lucy,
they had the single beds separated bythe nightstand. Yeah, I can
remember going to their house and seeingthat, and my parents slept in the

(12:00):
same bed. And I'm wondering,was the Ricky and Lucy model the model
that most American couples followed back inthose days, and then at some point
it moved, like in the fiftiesor the sixties, it moved to the
king size queen size beds that weshared or was it was that just a
depiction on television that wasn't really accurate, because you've heard about they didn't show

(12:24):
Lucy with the pregnancy. But I'veseen a lot of movies and stuff from
the thirties, forties and fifties wherethey were definitely sleeping in separate beds in
the same room though, right,which doesn't really seem to have any benefit.
That seems to be the worst ofall worlds. It seems like I
remember noting or reading the first televisionshow that showed a couple of bed It

(12:45):
was right after The Lucy Things.I can't remember what show it was now,
but it was plainly behind the times. Americans were already sleeping in the
same bed during the fifties, Yeah, but were they in the thirties?
Good question, I like, Ijust was wondering, like, because then
if you go to the rich people'shouses, like when you go to the
Biltmore, they show you that hehad his room, she had her room.

(13:09):
So maybe we're just getting back tothe way the wealthy word been back
in the eighteen hundreds and nineteen,the thron of Americans sleeping in separate bedrooms?
Why is that the case for you? And also, this would be
a typical couple's battle, but thisis actually happening in somebody's office, and
it usually happens, I think morein the winter, but in this instance,

(13:31):
it's happening in the summertime. Thebattle Shannon says, there's a battle
happening, and Shannon, I guesscould be a boy or a girl.
So I don't think I'm giving anythingaway there that the quote I'm the office
manager. We run a pretty tightship. Things go smoothly except when I

(13:52):
go to lunch. When I returnedfrom lunch, the people of the office
have started messing with the thermost statuh, And I get it that it's
hot, but they go and theyturn it way down. And then so
the people who like it like anarctic winter in there are happy and it's
freezing. But then when I getback, people are complaining because it's too

(14:15):
cold they need to put on sweaters. Plus it's driving up our electric bills.
Sure, so how do I handlethis? How do I get it
so people stop messing with the thermostat? You know, I've read somewhere a
long time ago where like thermostats inthe office aren't even attached to the system.

(14:35):
They're just how do you do that? You just like, I guess
you have the AC guy come andjust it's not connected. So how do
you set it that? I don'tknow, but you said it like right,
a thermstad But you're thinking you turnit down, but you're not.
Well, I'm saying like somebody hadto set it and say this is the
temperature. Yeah, I don't knowwhere the thermostat, the actual thermostat I
don't know where they're. Yeah,that's that's what the one we all want.

(14:58):
That's right. But I I,you know, I get it.
We have a weird Uh, probablybecause it's such a big building. I
guess, I don't know, Butwe have a problem where it seems as
if it's a different temperature every dayand every day. And I don't think
that we have access to thermostats inthis building. We might, but I
don't know where they are. Iknow where a couple are. I don't
think they're hooking anything. Yeah,but I mean some days it feels like

(15:22):
it's literally in the low sixties.And I don't think i've ever since I've
worked in any radio property, Idon't think i've ever touched the thermostats.
Well, we knew not to,Yeah, don't touch that. But I
can't touch that, primarily because thecost. Well I knew that the studios
were supposed to be cooler because ofthe equipment. Even before we had computers,

(15:46):
they were telling us that, likewe had. I mean, that's
what they used to say back inthe day, it's got to be cool
in the studio. But I meanI've had some days in the middle of
summer where I feel like and Ihave. I've gone to my office and
got a jacket, and I'll justbe wearing my jacket my hands. I'll
sit on my hands because I'm freezing. And then there'll be days could be
in the summer, could be inthe winter where I'm sweating, Like if

(16:08):
I was in better shape, Imight go shirtless in here. You know,
it's like, gosh, almighty wars. Those are absolutely going on,
especially right now. And if butif the if the building has the ability
to control its temperature like ours apparentlydoes not, how do you settle the
thermost stat war? I don't.I don't have any like like it's not

(16:30):
a group meeting because you don't knowthe employees. Really, I mean,
I hate to say it because Iam an employee, but we really shouldn't
have a say on that now democracy, this is a management decision, that's
right. What are we going toset it at? And then what are
we going to because we got topay for this Today's National Hot Doll Day.
I am planning to attend the celebration. Where is it where I think

(16:52):
I want to go back over?What's the one on? Is the Broad
River Road? Hot Dog Heaven.Is that still there? I haven't been
there in years now that when thathot dog Heaven I don't think is still
there. It might be a hotdog heaven also on two notch inside a
really crappy looking gas station. Itmight be called hot dog Heaven in there,

(17:17):
but whatever it's called. I wentin there once and I saw JR.
Berries eight by ten on the walland it said something I thanks for
the amazing hot dogs. Yeah,And I took a picture of it and
texted a tool. I said,what the heck is going on here?
And he said, man, I'lldo anything for a free hot dog.

(17:37):
Hey, some places actually have discountson hot dogs. I think most of
those are like Circle Caage. Youever had a Circle K hot dog?
I haven't. I am not,and I you know, it's funny that
I don't remember. It was veryrecently. I was in all of all
places, a Circle K and Ihad a hankering for a hot dog.
And I looked and they didn't haveone that day? You were going to

(18:00):
eat one? I was. Iwas thinking about it. I've never eaten
a hot dog often. I wasthinking about it. They had the Kilbasa
dogs that day and then they hadsome other hot dog that was like stuffed
with some sort of cheese or something. But I just wanted a plane hot
dog and they didn't have any onthe bill. Never bought one of those.
Well, you know, look,I survived years in New York.
I moved into New York in themid nineties, and I used to eat

(18:22):
the dirty water dogs. So ifyou can eat the dirty water dogs,
yeah, I have no idea whatkind of bacteri I was putting into me
at that time. I wonder whatthe requirement is in the state of New
York. How often they got tochange the water? Is it once a
month? I don't know. Rathair probably running a muck in it,
you know. Hell, yes,hey, I tell you one thing that

(18:45):
you make a good living. Dowith that? What's that? Selling dirty
water dogs? Oh? You domust. I was last summer. I
was visiting some of Sally's friends familyat least Fille by the Sea. Oh
nice, I know. So I'mthere and there's a guy there and I
struck up a conversation with him.He was plainly from one of the Burroughs.

(19:07):
He's talking hard, so I'm like, tell me about what you're doing.
So I live down here now,really, so what did you do
in New York? I sold dirtywater dogs. Now, when he says
I sold him, did, Imean do you think he owned a group
of carts and had other people downI think he had three carts. And
he was very bragged nocious about itbecause he would say, you know,

(19:30):
I'd give people the money's worth.So he was I guess he was living
good off of great tips. He'sstill talking junk about the competition, but
he was talking about how apparently hewould also make those tuna sandwiches really at
the cart. At the cart,he would make tuna sandwiches as well if
you wanted one, and he gaveyou the whole can of tuna. A

(19:52):
lot of the guys that they justgive you like three quarters of the can,
and I'm like, yeah, threequarters fits better on the sandwich bread
than the whole can. I giveyou the I'm going all in or he
is. So you've made a lotof money living in a condo. It
let's feel by the sea, righton the water. That's that's gonna be
like a half million or more.That's pretty amazing. You could sell hot
dogs from a cart, and Imean when I was up there. I

(20:15):
don't think I'm misremembering. I thinkthey were a dollar a hot dog,
and then you'd spend like a dollarfor the bottle of water. Sure,
maybe a dollar for a can ofsoda or something. It was like two
dollars per transaction. And this dudemust have well water for what well I'm
saying even it was just straight twodollars in your pocket. I mean,

(20:36):
how many dollars a day do youhave to make to a live in New
York City and then b have acondo having to save up enough to get
a condo. Let's feel by thesea that the h of Way fee down
there is incredible. That's really itwas impressive. I don't know. Anyway,
we can't talk about any and allthat what's going on in your neighborhood

(20:59):
be talking about. Reach out tous on social media. You can also
email us. I'm Rushing at ninetyseven five WCS dot com and I am
Nash at ninety seven five to ws US dot com. Whether you're calling
it from Florence or Greenville or MyrtleBeach, it's eight oh three ninety seven
eight nine two six seven