Getting Close

If you find yourself stuck in endless cycles of bad dating, unfulfilling friendships, and bad sex, this episode will help you get untangled.

In this episode, you and I sit down with Jordan Gonsalves to talk about the hidden impact of shame on all of our lives. We dive deep into Jordan's journey with shame, how shame shows up in relationships and dating, self-worth and aging, practical tools to combat shame, and Jordan's new podcast...

If you're fed up with modern dating, this episode is for you.

In it you and I sit down with Hinge's Love & Connection Expert Moe Ari Brown to bring you actionable data from Hinge's 2026 LGBTQ+ D.A.T.E. Report! We talk about what dating looks like in 2026, why dating feels so hard for so many gay men, what the data can tell us to make dating easier, what people are actually looking for in relationships these days, and so much mo...

If you've ever felt behind in life, like you aren't quite measuring up to your peers, or perhaps you have no clue what you're doing. If that's the case, this is the episode for you.

In this episode, Steven Rowley and I sit down to discuss his incredible career and how he became a bestselling author after he turned 45. We unpack what it felt like to take that leap of faith and why it's never too late to reo...

If you're constantly worrying about money and wondering how you're going to make it through the summer without maxing out your cards, this episode's for you.

In it, I sit down with finance guru Nick Wolny, author of Money Proud, as he teaches you and me his seven words to generate wealth. We also explore how shame makes us spend beyond our means, why Grindr is designed to make you so miserable, the unique ways LGBTQ folks interact ...

If a gay bar you love has ever shut down, you must listen to this episode.

In this episode, Rachel Karp and I get into her incredible road trip where she visited every lesbian bar in the country with her wife and best friend. She takes us on a tour of Queer bar history, complete with a legal fight to wear pants, how windows are actually a sign of progress, the difference between blue state bars and red, how bars are changing to kee...

If you've ever avoided sex because you were scared of what might happen, this episode is for you.

In this episode, nurse aesthetician and founder of Lushful Aesthetics, Chris Bustamante, and I explore all things dick-related. We get into why performance anxiety happens, what your testosterone is doing in your body, how your porn habits might be affecting sex, and why your sexting habits might need to change.

CHRIS BUSTAMANTE is an ...

If you're tired of all the noise and want three simple tips to find a little more happiness, this is the episode for you.

Today, you and I are sitting down with JP Brammer as he reveals three lessons that are making him genuinely happier right now. We learn how to ask for what you need, why you need to wash your thoughts like dishes, why you might feel lonely in a group of gays, the corrosive effects of comfort, and how to really t...

If you're tired of missing out on opportunities for fear of rejection, this episode is for you.

Today, you and I are sitting down with Zachary Zane to discuss how rejection rules our lives and ends up turning into shame. We get into so much juicy stuff like how rejection lives in the body, the nuances of bisexuality, how to overcome shame and embrace your kinky side, the lessons Zach has learned from the vast amounts of sex he's ha...

If you've turned off the news and feel guilty about it, this episode's for you.

In today's episode, you and I are getting close with Brian Derrick. We discuss the complexities of political engagement, why we're all politically burnt out, why liberals keep losing, and how to turn politics from a hobby to an actionable lifestyle.

Brian Derrick is a political strategist, activist, and Founder and CEO of Oath – a civic tech platf...

If you're feeling overstimulated and disconnected, this episode's for you. In it, we connect with Keanu Jackson, a sex therapist, to explore the complexities of desire, consent, and online sexuality in our modern world.

Keanu Jackson is a Brooklyn, NY-based Sex Therapist, Content Creator, & Founder of Homebody Psychotherapy, a therapy practice that centers on supporting queer folks in building more nurturing relationships with ...

Today's episode will change how you communicate. How do I know? Because it changed how I did.

In this episode, I sit down with Ruffus, affectionately known on socials as the Poly-Kink Therapist, to discuss communication, sexual agency, and the vital lessons we can learn from the kink community.

If you've ever had scripts in your head that tell you what you can and can't ask for, what is and is not allowed, get ready to finally clai...

If you have a little voice in the back of your mind saying, you should really break that habit, this episode is for you. We all have coping mechanisms that help us get through the day, but when do we know if those coping mechanisms have turned into unhealthy patterns, and if so, how can we break them?

In this episode, my husband Casey (and y'all's most requested return guest) sits back down with me for a deeply intimate and vulnera...

If you've ever sat in an awkward silence, wondering what to ask next, or left a conversation wishing you'd known how to go deeper, this episode will change how you talk to people.

In this episode, Eric Williams joins us to explore what separates a good question from a bad one, why our digital world is making us worse at curiosity, and how the way you ask questions shapes everything from your first date to your longest relationship.

What can gay men learn from trans men?

In this episode of Getting Close, I sit down with my friend Sandy for a very vulnerable conversation about how trans men and cis men exist within the gay community. We dive into masculinity, privilege, and what compassionate inclusion can look like in our spaces.

Sandy Gooen is a published and produced writer. He's currently developing a musical called Twink Piece. He also runs TEMPO (@theetem...

How has the internet changed gay s*x, consent, and intimacy?

In this episode, Andrew Restieri joins me to discuss the complexities of digital intimacy within gay culture. We discuss how everyone has differing rules about consent, the economy of nude photos, who owns a nude once it's sent, the rise of hookup apps, and how they affect our in-person experiences.

Andrew Restieri is a PhD candidate at Cornell whose research broadly cent...

What if I told you discomfort was the secret to better relationships?

In this episode, Rachel Wright joins me to talk about the fascinating way that discomfort can help you have better relationships of any structure. We explore the nuances of modern friendship, letting people down, secret patterns running our relationships, monogamy unlearnings, and the unique way gay couples are more likely to be open vs. poly.

Rachel Wright is a ...

If you could go back in time to Queer, 1996, New York, would you? In this episode, Andrew Keenan-Bolger joins me to do just that through his debut novel Limelight. We unpack why telling queer stories is urgent in this political climate, the importance of chosen family, banned books, magical realism, and what we owe our Queer ancestors.

Andrew Keenan-Bolger is an actor, director, author, and filmmaker who starred as Jesse Tuck in Tu...

Are you fed up with modern dating? In this episode, that's not just for singles, Trevor Kuhn discusses the challenges of modern courtship, why conflict is essential for relationships, the pitfalls of AI in dating, and why expectations are keeping you single.

Trevor Kuhn is a love and relationship coach and matchmaker for gay and queer men. He helps them shift old patterns and build deeper, more intentional connections through 1-on-...

My husband CASEY GARVIN and I dive deep into our own relationship, answering questions from listeners about our journey, our love, and our openness over the past eight years.

On this episode, we get deep about:

* The unique ways that we navigate and heal from conflict.

* Who proposed to whom.

* How we planned our atypical wedding.

* How we learned to embrace jealousy in our open relationship.

* What our personal rules around openne...