August 22, 2024 • 12 mins
In this episode, we break down the egg donation process, a common query at my donation and surrogacy agency, Graceful Beginnings. From selecting a donor profile to navigating legal and medical evaluations, we cover every step intended parents need to know. Whether you're looking for fresh or frozen eggs, we guide you through the psychological evaluations, genetic screenings, and escrow account setup. Learn about the importance of having an open mind when choosing a donor and the detailed logistics of the egg retrieval process. This episode is a comprehensive guide for anyone considering moving forward with donor eggs.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you someone who is fascinated by all the pregnancy, childbirth,
and motherhood stuff few people talk about because they're too embarrassed?
If so, welcome to the motherload of all things taboo, or at least really wild and interesting.
The Asking for a Pregnant Friend podcast is based off the book of the same name
(00:21):
and dives in to all of the pregnancy, birth, and mothering topics that make
many people blush or scratch their heads.
I do all the boring research so you don't have to and bring you interviews with
the leading experts in the topics I cover.
I also share all the things about myself, Bailey Gaddis. I'm all about TMI.
(00:45):
You'll also hear stories from brave women who gave permission to have their
stories shared. So come along, my friend, on a journey into the beautiful underbelly
of making, growing, and raising babies.
Music.
(01:08):
These. One of the main questions that intended parents at my donation and surrogacy
agency ask is, what are the next steps?
What is involved in this process?
And so I wanted to break it down for you for anyone that might be interested
(01:30):
in moving forward with donor eggs.
So obviously, one of the first steps is looking at donor profiles.
I have a link below to the link for the donor profiles for my agency, Graceful Beginnings.
If you don't find a donor that you like there, I'm happy to provide recommendations
(01:53):
for other agencies that might have what you're looking for.
My agency, we only provide fresh egg cycles.
If you want frozen eggs, you can go to an egg bait.
And yeah, you want to really carefully look through the profiles of all the
donors, figuring out who you like the best.
(02:15):
And you might be surprised because most intended parents, rightly so,
start off with a list of criteria that they would like for their donor.
But as you start looking, you might find that you just fall in love with a donor
who doesn't necessarily meet all of your criteria.
So go into it with an open mind.
(02:35):
Once you choose that donor that you just love, we will let you know if she she
is available, what her requested donor fee is.
And if all that looks good, then we send you an invoice for the agency fee.
All agencies charge an agency fee. This is for their services and a retainer
(02:59):
agreement, which outlines the relationship between the intended parents and
the agency specifically,
and the expectations for everyone's roles.
It also lists the donor compensation and any benefits that she will receive
for travel and incidentals, for example.
(03:22):
And so once that retainer agreement is signed and the agency fee is paid,
then the match is official. And,
Back up for a second. If the donor is an experienced donor and she has records from past donations,
we will send those records to the clinic that the intended parents are working
(03:45):
with before making the match just to ensure that the fertility doctor provides
preliminary approval for the donor.
If it is a first-time donor, we'll just send the donor's AMH results.
AMH is a hormone that provides a lot of information about the donor's ovarian reserve.
(04:05):
Our agency, we test the AMH level of all of our donors at no cost to the intended parents.
So, okay, so the match is made. The donor has that preliminary approval.
And so the next step, there's two things that need to happen simultaneously.
(04:26):
So if it is a new donor, our agency immediately starts to work on scheduling
the donor's psychological evaluation.
With one of the mental health specialists that we work with and scheduling the
donor's family risk assessment, which is a phone call with a genetic counselor.
(04:47):
The donor has a phone call with a genetic counselor to go over her family health
history and to make sure there's no issues used there that didn't necessarily
come up in the donor's genetic carrier screening.
During this time, the clinic also sends the donor a genetic carrier screening
kit if she is a first-time donor.
(05:08):
It's a saliva kit. The donor fills it up, sends it back to the lab,
and it usually takes two or three weeks to get the results from that.
During this time, the intended parents also need to open an escrow account,
which we provide support for.
We usually use the service Seed Trust, but intended parents can also use escrow
(05:31):
services provided by their family law attorney if they have one.
And so the initial funds that go into the escrow account cover,
if it's a first-time donor, the fee for the psychological evaluation,
the family risk assessment, and
for all donors, the fee for the donor insurance, the donor attorney fee.
(05:54):
And then if it's an out-of-town donor, the donor's travel expenses,
that all goes into the escrow account.
All those fees are outlined in the retainer agreement.
On our website, Graceful Beginnings, we also have a list of those costs.
The donor fee does not need to be deposited into escrow until after the donor
(06:18):
has her medical evaluation.
So the only funds that come to the agency are the agency fee funds.
Everything else goes into an escrow account and is sent out by escrow.
Okay, and so during this time, we can also support you in finding a family law
attorney if you do not already have one, retaining them,
(06:41):
so you're good to go when it is time to start the drafting and negotiation of the donor contract.
This is the contract that will be between the intended parents and the donor.
Okay, so now we have the results back from the donor's genetic carrier screening,
her psychological evaluation, and her family risk assessment.
(07:05):
Everything looks good on those, and so we're good to move forward with scheduling
the medical evaluation.
If it's an experienced donor who has preliminary approval, we can skip right
to scheduling the medical evaluation.
So the medical evaluation is typically done at the clinic that the intended
(07:26):
parents are working with.
If it's an out-of-town donor, sometimes the clinic will allow an outside monitoring
clinic, essentially a fertility clinic near the donor,
allow them to do the medical evaluation, but oftentimes the clinic does want
the donor to travel to the primary clinic for this evaluation.
(07:51):
During the evaluation, they do an ultrasound, blood work, a urinalysis for a drug test, STD test.
Sometimes they also do a physical.
And it usually takes about a week or so to get the results back from this.
Once the results are in, if everything looks good, the clinic issues medical
(08:11):
clearance, and then we can start with legal.
And so with legal, the intended parent's attorney drafts the contract.
They then review it with the intended parents to
make sure they do or do not want any changes
that has been sent to the attorney representing
the donor we retain the attorney for
(08:32):
the donor and then it might go back and forth usually there are not many changes
to the contract because it is drafted to really support the interests of all
parties once it's good it's signed the the intended parent's attorney sends
legal clearance to the primary clinic,
and then we're good to create the cycle calendar.
(08:55):
So most clinics, they have the donor be on birth control for about two to three
weeks, sometimes a little bit more before they start them on the injectable medications.
Sometimes clinics base the start of the injectable medications on the donor's
menstrual cycle, but the calendar will change.
(09:18):
Explain, you know, what kind of protocol they want to use.
So the donor is sent the medications and then they eventually start those injectable medications.
Most donors are on these medications for about 8 to 12 days before the egg retrieval.
If it is an out-of-town donor, she will typically have the monitoring appointments
(09:42):
for, you know, the first few days of injectable medications at an outside monitoring clinic near her,
and then she will travel to the primary clinic for usually like the last six
or seven days of the cycle, have the retrieval, usually stay in town for at
least another day to rest, and then fly home.
(10:04):
The intended parents cover the cost of airfare for the donor and her companion
accommodations, transportation, and then per her DM for food for both the donor and the companion.
So we have the egg retrieval. The donor receives her donor fee right after the egg retrieval.
She actually receives 500 of it the first day that she starts injectable medications
(10:29):
and the remainder right after the egg retrieval.
And then the donor is done. The eggs go to the lab for fertilization and then
hopefully healthy embryos result from there, and then a positive pregnancy test.
So this is just a broad overview of the process. If you have any specific questions,
(10:52):
you can email me at the email found below.
If you can like, subscribe, comment, that would be so incredibly helpful.
That will allow me to keep providing this content for you guys.
All right, love you is pregnancy or early
motherhood making you feel other than is it
triggering all sorts of weird emotional and physical
(11:14):
stuff you are sure no one else is going through if so
get your copy of asking for a pregnant friend 101 answers to questions women
are too embarrassed to ask about pregnancy childbirth and early motherhood this
book is like the modern day dear abby for pregnant women and new moms who want
to get straight yet loving answers to the pregnancy, birth,
(11:38):
and mothering questions they're too afraid to ask.
Those questions that make you blush.
You can get your copy of Asking for a Pregnant Friend on Amazon or from Barnes
& Noble, Target, and everywhere else books are sold.
Music.
Are you someone who is fascinated by all the pregnancy, childbirth,
and motherhood stuff few people talk about because they're too embarrassed?
If so, welcome to the motherload of all things taboo, or at least really wild and interesting.
The Asking for a Pregnant Friend podcast is based off the book of the same name
(00:21):
and dives in to all of the pregnancy, birth, and mothering topics that make
many people blush or scratch their heads.
I do all the boring research so you don't have to and bring you interviews with
the leading experts in the topics I cover.
I also share all the things about myself, Bailey Gaddis. I'm all about TMI.
(00:45):
You'll also hear stories from brave women who gave permission to have their
stories shared. So come along, my friend, on a journey into the beautiful underbelly
of making, growing, and raising babies.
Music.
(01:08):
These. One of the main questions that intended parents at my donation and surrogacy
agency ask is, what are the next steps?
What is involved in this process?
And so I wanted to break it down for you for anyone that might be interested
(01:30):
in moving forward with donor eggs.
So obviously, one of the first steps is looking at donor profiles.
I have a link below to the link for the donor profiles for my agency, Graceful Beginnings.
If you don't find a donor that you like there, I'm happy to provide recommendations
(01:53):
for other agencies that might have what you're looking for.
My agency, we only provide fresh egg cycles.
If you want frozen eggs, you can go to an egg bait.
And yeah, you want to really carefully look through the profiles of all the
donors, figuring out who you like the best.
(02:15):
And you might be surprised because most intended parents, rightly so,
start off with a list of criteria that they would like for their donor.
But as you start looking, you might find that you just fall in love with a donor
who doesn't necessarily meet all of your criteria.
So go into it with an open mind.
(02:35):
Once you choose that donor that you just love, we will let you know if she she
is available, what her requested donor fee is.
And if all that looks good, then we send you an invoice for the agency fee.
All agencies charge an agency fee. This is for their services and a retainer
(02:59):
agreement, which outlines the relationship between the intended parents and
the agency specifically,
and the expectations for everyone's roles.
It also lists the donor compensation and any benefits that she will receive
for travel and incidentals, for example.
(03:22):
And so once that retainer agreement is signed and the agency fee is paid,
then the match is official. And,
Back up for a second. If the donor is an experienced donor and she has records from past donations,
we will send those records to the clinic that the intended parents are working
(03:45):
with before making the match just to ensure that the fertility doctor provides
preliminary approval for the donor.
If it is a first-time donor, we'll just send the donor's AMH results.
AMH is a hormone that provides a lot of information about the donor's ovarian reserve.
(04:05):
Our agency, we test the AMH level of all of our donors at no cost to the intended parents.
So, okay, so the match is made. The donor has that preliminary approval.
And so the next step, there's two things that need to happen simultaneously.
(04:26):
So if it is a new donor, our agency immediately starts to work on scheduling
the donor's psychological evaluation.
With one of the mental health specialists that we work with and scheduling the
donor's family risk assessment, which is a phone call with a genetic counselor.
(04:47):
The donor has a phone call with a genetic counselor to go over her family health
history and to make sure there's no issues used there that didn't necessarily
come up in the donor's genetic carrier screening.
During this time, the clinic also sends the donor a genetic carrier screening
kit if she is a first-time donor.
(05:08):
It's a saliva kit. The donor fills it up, sends it back to the lab,
and it usually takes two or three weeks to get the results from that.
During this time, the intended parents also need to open an escrow account,
which we provide support for.
We usually use the service Seed Trust, but intended parents can also use escrow
(05:31):
services provided by their family law attorney if they have one.
And so the initial funds that go into the escrow account cover,
if it's a first-time donor, the fee for the psychological evaluation,
the family risk assessment, and
for all donors, the fee for the donor insurance, the donor attorney fee.
(05:54):
And then if it's an out-of-town donor, the donor's travel expenses,
that all goes into the escrow account.
All those fees are outlined in the retainer agreement.
On our website, Graceful Beginnings, we also have a list of those costs.
The donor fee does not need to be deposited into escrow until after the donor
(06:18):
has her medical evaluation.
So the only funds that come to the agency are the agency fee funds.
Everything else goes into an escrow account and is sent out by escrow.
Okay, and so during this time, we can also support you in finding a family law
attorney if you do not already have one, retaining them,
(06:41):
so you're good to go when it is time to start the drafting and negotiation of the donor contract.
This is the contract that will be between the intended parents and the donor.
Okay, so now we have the results back from the donor's genetic carrier screening,
her psychological evaluation, and her family risk assessment.
(07:05):
Everything looks good on those, and so we're good to move forward with scheduling
the medical evaluation.
If it's an experienced donor who has preliminary approval, we can skip right
to scheduling the medical evaluation.
So the medical evaluation is typically done at the clinic that the intended
(07:26):
parents are working with.
If it's an out-of-town donor, sometimes the clinic will allow an outside monitoring
clinic, essentially a fertility clinic near the donor,
allow them to do the medical evaluation, but oftentimes the clinic does want
the donor to travel to the primary clinic for this evaluation.
(07:51):
During the evaluation, they do an ultrasound, blood work, a urinalysis for a drug test, STD test.
Sometimes they also do a physical.
And it usually takes about a week or so to get the results back from this.
Once the results are in, if everything looks good, the clinic issues medical
(08:11):
clearance, and then we can start with legal.
And so with legal, the intended parent's attorney drafts the contract.
They then review it with the intended parents to
make sure they do or do not want any changes
that has been sent to the attorney representing
the donor we retain the attorney for
(08:32):
the donor and then it might go back and forth usually there are not many changes
to the contract because it is drafted to really support the interests of all
parties once it's good it's signed the the intended parent's attorney sends
legal clearance to the primary clinic,
and then we're good to create the cycle calendar.
(08:55):
So most clinics, they have the donor be on birth control for about two to three
weeks, sometimes a little bit more before they start them on the injectable medications.
Sometimes clinics base the start of the injectable medications on the donor's
menstrual cycle, but the calendar will change.
(09:18):
Explain, you know, what kind of protocol they want to use.
So the donor is sent the medications and then they eventually start those injectable medications.
Most donors are on these medications for about 8 to 12 days before the egg retrieval.
If it is an out-of-town donor, she will typically have the monitoring appointments
(09:42):
for, you know, the first few days of injectable medications at an outside monitoring clinic near her,
and then she will travel to the primary clinic for usually like the last six
or seven days of the cycle, have the retrieval, usually stay in town for at
least another day to rest, and then fly home.
(10:04):
The intended parents cover the cost of airfare for the donor and her companion
accommodations, transportation, and then per her DM for food for both the donor and the companion.
So we have the egg retrieval. The donor receives her donor fee right after the egg retrieval.
She actually receives 500 of it the first day that she starts injectable medications
(10:29):
and the remainder right after the egg retrieval.
And then the donor is done. The eggs go to the lab for fertilization and then
hopefully healthy embryos result from there, and then a positive pregnancy test.
So this is just a broad overview of the process. If you have any specific questions,
(10:52):
you can email me at the email found below.
If you can like, subscribe, comment, that would be so incredibly helpful.
That will allow me to keep providing this content for you guys.
All right, love you is pregnancy or early
motherhood making you feel other than is it
triggering all sorts of weird emotional and physical
(11:14):
stuff you are sure no one else is going through if so
get your copy of asking for a pregnant friend 101 answers to questions women
are too embarrassed to ask about pregnancy childbirth and early motherhood this
book is like the modern day dear abby for pregnant women and new moms who want
to get straight yet loving answers to the pregnancy, birth,
(11:38):
and mothering questions they're too afraid to ask.
Those questions that make you blush.
You can get your copy of Asking for a Pregnant Friend on Amazon or from Barnes
& Noble, Target, and everywhere else books are sold.
Music.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!