June 12, 2024 • 14 mins
Tonight will be the last episode of season 2 of my podcast Authentic On Air!
I’ll be taking a couple of weeks off after this to focus on pivoting my business and this podcast in a new direction.
Tonight’s episode will focus on the common struggles I met with while coaching ADHD parents and what I found that has brought on the pivot in my business.
As an adhd entrepreneur I have had plenty of struggle and I don’t want it to go to waste. So listen in to learn what I have learned and I bet you will find something that will help you out as well!
Listen live at 6pm et on Facebook and YouTube at @realcoachbruce
Available on all podcast platforms and YouTube at 7pm et.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
and welcome back to Authentic On Air withBruce Alexander.
I am your host, Bruce Alexander.
Today is the last day of season twobecause I'm pivoting my business to not
focus on all ADHD parents, but to focus onADHD business owners.
And I want to talk on this episode whatI've learned in my little over a year in
(00:24):
having my own business and why I'm makingthis pivot.
And some of the things that you can takeaway, whether you're a business owner or
not, that will help improve your life asan ADHD parent.
So first, let's do our weekly check -in.
Body, I still feel like a fat piece ofcrap half the time, but I have
(00:44):
quantitative goals, which helped merealize that even though my body doesn't
look how I want it to, I can tell that I'mimproving.
My walks with my kids that I take aregetting longer and longer.
and the way I feel whenever I get back iswhat really tells me that things are
getting better because I don't need toimmediately sit down.
I don't need to rush to the chair and grabfor relief because my back is in so much
(01:10):
pain.
So things are opening up, my body isstarting to be more of a tool instead of
an obstacle.
So that's exciting.
Being my relationship with myself has beenpretty good.
I'm getting to know myself, I'm doing theroutine and schedule to put myself in
power and that's good.
Our relationship with God has been alittle bit of a struggle this week because
(01:34):
I thought that we'd have found a place bynow.
I thought that we would be livingsomewhere that we called home by now and
not having found that place has mequestioning whether or not God called me
on this has chosen me to make this tripthat I felt very called to do.
And that hiccup in my faith...
has been hard to deal with, but I feelmore on track today.
(01:56):
It's okay to feel bad.
It's okay to have doubt.
It's okay to struggle.
The important thing to remember is not tolive in that struggle, to feel it,
appreciate it, validate it, but then tomove out of it, to realize that feelings
are transitory.
They can come and go.
You need to focus on the facts of what youcan prove.
(02:17):
And I heard the message.
I know that.
Like I know that.
There is something strong moving in myheart that I'm supposed to be out here and
just because it hasn't happened on my timedoesn't mean that it's not supposed to be.
So that's something that is, you know,it's still up in the air.
It's still big.
It's still daunting, but it is also thatdaunting means that there's also a ton of
(02:39):
opportunity there.
There's, you know, so many things couldhappen that could be great.
Just because I don't know doesn't mean ithas to be bad.
So that is my being.
Things with the kids have been reallygood.
My kids are kids.
They occasionally have.
(03:00):
The kerfuffle is the only word I can thinkof right now.
They currently have kerfuffles that, ofcourse, I don't love to see them fight
with each other.
I don't love to see them party to thosefeelings, but our relationship has
improved really well and it is tricklingdown.
Me being a kinder and more loving fatheris starting to prove dividends with them
(03:22):
being kinder and more understanding witheach other.
It's taking time and it will take timebecause...
I haven't been a great example as a parentthe entire time and you know, that's
something that has to be dealt with.
So trying to show them the right way now.
Things with Kate and I are back on track.
There was a big blow up this week becauseI was, once again, I was doubting the
(03:46):
path.
For the first time in over a month and ahalf, I was vocal about the fact that I
kind of felt like...
we were doing the wrong things.
And I didn't feel like I was gettingsupport in that moment.
And I kind of blew up and I didn't really,I didn't really control my reactions the
way I would like.
And I definitely had, like I had a bigtantrum and I had to go for a walk and,
(04:10):
you know, recollect myself and apologizeto my family.
And I actually, I don't even know if I'vedone that yet.
I probably need to do that again, just tomake sure, because I still feel a little
guilt about that.
So that's not, I don't love that part.
But the fact that I'm able to own it andtalk about it means that I'm not hiding
from those bad moments anymore, whichmeans I can solve them.
(04:32):
I can find solutions.
I can learn how to resolve them and not bethat kind of person all the time.
I've already drastically reduced that kindof behavior over the last year.
And I would like to completely eradicateit, but it is hard for a tiger to change
its track.
So I'm working on it.
Things are getting better.
Lastly, my business.
This whole episode is kind of spurred onby the fact that I'm ready for a change in
(04:56):
my business.
I spent, I guess, six months exclusivelytrying to talk to ADHD parents and get
them to believe in themselves and investtime and energy in themselves, whether it
be working with me for free or workingwith me through paid programs.
And sometimes I can't get them to investmoney to work with me and sure, that's
(05:19):
fine.
whatever, but even the people I've workedwith who have paid me at getting them to
invest the time and energy into themselvesto do the things that I know that work,
that I've proven to work, there's tons ofevidence that work, there's a missing
piece for them to invest in themselves.
And it has been a massive struggle to getpeople to do the work for themselves.
(05:44):
And initially I managed that gap by tryingto do the work for them.
I was like, I'll give you the answers.
I'll carry you to the destination.
And what I found is I just built moreweakness.
Like if I carry you to the top of themountain top and then you have to walk
back down, you're not going to be strongenough to do it because the strength that
(06:04):
you build climbing up is what makes youthe person that's able to stay there.
And I didn't understand that initially,but once I learned that I stopped doing
the work for them, but I realized that thepeople I was working with weren't willing
to invest.
themselves into themselves.
And I don't think it's because it's thewrong people.
(06:25):
I think it's the wrong time.
I don't think I'm catching people in thetime in which they are ready to make the
change in their lives.
Like I'm trying to convince them that it'stime to make a change whenever I'm
supposed to facilitate the change.
I'm supposed, you're supposed to be readyfor things to change.
I'm supposed to help facilitate that.
(06:46):
And I think that that's going to be mucheasier to do if I'm working with ADHD
entrepreneurs, people who have alreadyshown that they're willing to do work to
build something for themselves.
It's not even about the money.
It's about people who are willing to putin work to make their lives better.
So whenever I'm offering free programs andpeople say, well, I can't, you know, I
(07:06):
can't give up this or I can't like makethat work with my schedules.
Like if somebody were like offering me thekey to my problems right now and
I just needed to make the schedule work.
I would do it because I'm willing toinvest and make sacrifices to, to win the
bigger game.
And that's, you know, that's a mentalitythat sometimes comes from big failures and
(07:30):
like bad things happening.
And sometimes it's just time.
Sometimes it's just dealing with thebullshit long enough to finally be fed up
with it.
And right now, like I'm just, I've dealtwith the bullshit long enough to be fed up
with it, to realize that.
There are people that you can't make readyto be helped.
(07:53):
It's tough, like I don't want to leavepeople who need help behind, but also I
don't want to continue spinning my wheelstrying to help people who not only are not
ready to pay me to help them, they're notready to give their own time and energy to
help themselves.
So, yeah, that's the reason for the pivot.
(08:14):
But some important things that I learnedalong the way is consistency is key.
I mean, it absolutely is the small thingsthat you do every day is what builds your
empire.
I like there are the connections that Imade from my ADHD dad's group that I built
(08:37):
months ago and just keep pouring continentto every day, even though like initially I
wasn't getting any reaction.
Then I made contacts through that monthslater because I was consistent and finally
something
struck somebody that made them say, I needto reach out.
This person can help me.
And I understand that that is somethingthat is going to be consistent throughout
(09:00):
all the things in businesses.
Once you figure out the message thatyou're trying to deliver, you have to keep
showing up on the platform over and overagain in order to, for one, build the
following and for two, to get the right,the message in front of the right people.
So.
As I pivot, that will remain true and it'sgonna be, it's a little bit difficult to
(09:23):
mentally wrap my mind around just talkingmore about business.
I don't have any problem working withpeople in business.
I've actually had more success gettingpeople to adopt the things that I've
suggested or encouraged them to do to makemore money than I have had for anything
(09:43):
else.
Their relationships are on fire.
and they're not willing to do the thingsthat they need to do to fix them, even
though like I'm giving them all the toolsthat they need to make improvement.
But if I say, hey, this is a way that youcan make more money, then they're usually
all over it.
So why not just spend more time in thatspace, giving people ways that they are
(10:04):
going to be able to make more money?
Because that honestly, it does give room.
to then spend time on relationships, tospend time on your body, to spend time in
your relationship with your higher power.
But I mean, you have to be intentional.
Just making more money doesn't solveanything.
It is using that money to buy your timeback, to buy freedom, to buy independence,
(10:28):
and then to then put that freedom, time,and independence back into yourself,
building up the rest of your world.
Because in the end of it, for me, it's allabout having it all.
It's about having the business that I lovedoing that's successful.
It's about having the family that is onfire and in love with me as much as I love
(10:50):
them.
Having the relationship with God that's onfire and having the daily conversation
with God.
And then having a body that excites me andthat I feel excited to live in.
that it feels like a tool for my purpose.
And I understand to have all of that, Ican't get so focused on making more money
(11:10):
that I leave anything else unchecked.
So, that leads to my second big learning,because not only is consistency key, it is
that having a routine that allows you totouch base with all four domains of your
life every single day is crucial, becauseit becomes really easy to get sucked into
(11:30):
whatever is going well,
and to not pay attention to the thingsthat are hard to look at.
So whenever, you know, I get before, whenI was really fit, like I was loving the
gym.
I spent all my time at the gym, but I wasignoring the quality of my relationships.
I wasn't doing anything to grow in myfinances and my business.
(11:50):
So because it was just easy to pour all ofmyself into that one thing.
And whenever you have a routine that makessure that you're checking in with all
parts of your life, then,
It allows you to kind of obfuscate thatpitfall.
And even if you're just doing the bareminimum on each different domain of your
(12:11):
life every single day, then you're stillmiles apart from, per se, working weeks at
a time before you see your family.
That is not going to allow your family tofeel engaged with you.
You have to do something to make sure thateach day you're engaged with your family.
Each day you're engaging with God.
Each day you're engaging your body.
(12:32):
You'd say you're engaging your business.
It's doing them all every day.
And it sounds like a lot, but whenever youhave a routine that ensures it, it works
pretty easily.
So, like those are the two big things Iwanted to talk about.
I'm going to take a week or two off towork on this pivot in my business, work on
implementing some of the new things I'mgoing to learn in the course I'm taking
(12:53):
tomorrow.
Hopefully this, like putting all thesepieces together that I've learned is going
to really help me as I.
pivot into this business world.
I've learned all about building funnelsand marketing.
I've learned all about the coachingprocess and sales, marketing techniques,
and this is the next step.
I don't even really know what it is, butit's Tony Robbins, so I'm hoping it's
(13:16):
gonna be awesome.
That is it for today.
Thank you so much for joining me onAuthentic On Air.
I hope you'll come back for season threein which I will talk much, much more about
ways that you can make more money whilegrowing closer to your family.
whether it's through improving at yourcurrent job, starting your own business or
just growing your own business.
(13:38):
Those are the things I'm going to focuson.
And I'm going to give them an ADHD, youknow, twist because regular mainstream
philosophy doesn't always work whenever itcomes to the ADHD mind.
So being an ADHD entrepreneur, I havelearned some, some ways to tweak those
things that make them a little moreapplicable to the regular ADHD person.
(13:58):
So.
Stay tuned for that.
Please like, follow, and share if youenjoy this content and help me reach the
people who need my help.
Bye.
and welcome back to Authentic On Air withBruce Alexander.
I am your host, Bruce Alexander.
Today is the last day of season twobecause I'm pivoting my business to not
focus on all ADHD parents, but to focus onADHD business owners.
And I want to talk on this episode whatI've learned in my little over a year in
(00:24):
having my own business and why I'm makingthis pivot.
And some of the things that you can takeaway, whether you're a business owner or
not, that will help improve your life asan ADHD parent.
So first, let's do our weekly check -in.
Body, I still feel like a fat piece ofcrap half the time, but I have
(00:44):
quantitative goals, which helped merealize that even though my body doesn't
look how I want it to, I can tell that I'mimproving.
My walks with my kids that I take aregetting longer and longer.
and the way I feel whenever I get back iswhat really tells me that things are
getting better because I don't need toimmediately sit down.
I don't need to rush to the chair and grabfor relief because my back is in so much
(01:10):
pain.
So things are opening up, my body isstarting to be more of a tool instead of
an obstacle.
So that's exciting.
Being my relationship with myself has beenpretty good.
I'm getting to know myself, I'm doing theroutine and schedule to put myself in
power and that's good.
Our relationship with God has been alittle bit of a struggle this week because
(01:34):
I thought that we'd have found a place bynow.
I thought that we would be livingsomewhere that we called home by now and
not having found that place has mequestioning whether or not God called me
on this has chosen me to make this tripthat I felt very called to do.
And that hiccup in my faith...
has been hard to deal with, but I feelmore on track today.
(01:56):
It's okay to feel bad.
It's okay to have doubt.
It's okay to struggle.
The important thing to remember is not tolive in that struggle, to feel it,
appreciate it, validate it, but then tomove out of it, to realize that feelings
are transitory.
They can come and go.
You need to focus on the facts of what youcan prove.
(02:17):
And I heard the message.
I know that.
Like I know that.
There is something strong moving in myheart that I'm supposed to be out here and
just because it hasn't happened on my timedoesn't mean that it's not supposed to be.
So that's something that is, you know,it's still up in the air.
It's still big.
It's still daunting, but it is also thatdaunting means that there's also a ton of
(02:39):
opportunity there.
There's, you know, so many things couldhappen that could be great.
Just because I don't know doesn't mean ithas to be bad.
So that is my being.
Things with the kids have been reallygood.
My kids are kids.
They occasionally have.
(03:00):
The kerfuffle is the only word I can thinkof right now.
They currently have kerfuffles that, ofcourse, I don't love to see them fight
with each other.
I don't love to see them party to thosefeelings, but our relationship has
improved really well and it is tricklingdown.
Me being a kinder and more loving fatheris starting to prove dividends with them
(03:22):
being kinder and more understanding witheach other.
It's taking time and it will take timebecause...
I haven't been a great example as a parentthe entire time and you know, that's
something that has to be dealt with.
So trying to show them the right way now.
Things with Kate and I are back on track.
There was a big blow up this week becauseI was, once again, I was doubting the
(03:46):
path.
For the first time in over a month and ahalf, I was vocal about the fact that I
kind of felt like...
we were doing the wrong things.
And I didn't feel like I was gettingsupport in that moment.
And I kind of blew up and I didn't really,I didn't really control my reactions the
way I would like.
And I definitely had, like I had a bigtantrum and I had to go for a walk and,
(04:10):
you know, recollect myself and apologizeto my family.
And I actually, I don't even know if I'vedone that yet.
I probably need to do that again, just tomake sure, because I still feel a little
guilt about that.
So that's not, I don't love that part.
But the fact that I'm able to own it andtalk about it means that I'm not hiding
from those bad moments anymore, whichmeans I can solve them.
(04:32):
I can find solutions.
I can learn how to resolve them and not bethat kind of person all the time.
I've already drastically reduced that kindof behavior over the last year.
And I would like to completely eradicateit, but it is hard for a tiger to change
its track.
So I'm working on it.
Things are getting better.
Lastly, my business.
This whole episode is kind of spurred onby the fact that I'm ready for a change in
(04:56):
my business.
I spent, I guess, six months exclusivelytrying to talk to ADHD parents and get
them to believe in themselves and investtime and energy in themselves, whether it
be working with me for free or workingwith me through paid programs.
And sometimes I can't get them to investmoney to work with me and sure, that's
(05:19):
fine.
whatever, but even the people I've workedwith who have paid me at getting them to
invest the time and energy into themselvesto do the things that I know that work,
that I've proven to work, there's tons ofevidence that work, there's a missing
piece for them to invest in themselves.
And it has been a massive struggle to getpeople to do the work for themselves.
(05:44):
And initially I managed that gap by tryingto do the work for them.
I was like, I'll give you the answers.
I'll carry you to the destination.
And what I found is I just built moreweakness.
Like if I carry you to the top of themountain top and then you have to walk
back down, you're not going to be strongenough to do it because the strength that
(06:04):
you build climbing up is what makes youthe person that's able to stay there.
And I didn't understand that initially,but once I learned that I stopped doing
the work for them, but I realized that thepeople I was working with weren't willing
to invest.
themselves into themselves.
And I don't think it's because it's thewrong people.
(06:25):
I think it's the wrong time.
I don't think I'm catching people in thetime in which they are ready to make the
change in their lives.
Like I'm trying to convince them that it'stime to make a change whenever I'm
supposed to facilitate the change.
I'm supposed, you're supposed to be readyfor things to change.
I'm supposed to help facilitate that.
(06:46):
And I think that that's going to be mucheasier to do if I'm working with ADHD
entrepreneurs, people who have alreadyshown that they're willing to do work to
build something for themselves.
It's not even about the money.
It's about people who are willing to putin work to make their lives better.
So whenever I'm offering free programs andpeople say, well, I can't, you know, I
(07:06):
can't give up this or I can't like makethat work with my schedules.
Like if somebody were like offering me thekey to my problems right now and
I just needed to make the schedule work.
I would do it because I'm willing toinvest and make sacrifices to, to win the
bigger game.
And that's, you know, that's a mentalitythat sometimes comes from big failures and
(07:30):
like bad things happening.
And sometimes it's just time.
Sometimes it's just dealing with thebullshit long enough to finally be fed up
with it.
And right now, like I'm just, I've dealtwith the bullshit long enough to be fed up
with it, to realize that.
There are people that you can't make readyto be helped.
(07:53):
It's tough, like I don't want to leavepeople who need help behind, but also I
don't want to continue spinning my wheelstrying to help people who not only are not
ready to pay me to help them, they're notready to give their own time and energy to
help themselves.
So, yeah, that's the reason for the pivot.
(08:14):
But some important things that I learnedalong the way is consistency is key.
I mean, it absolutely is the small thingsthat you do every day is what builds your
empire.
I like there are the connections that Imade from my ADHD dad's group that I built
(08:37):
months ago and just keep pouring continentto every day, even though like initially I
wasn't getting any reaction.
Then I made contacts through that monthslater because I was consistent and finally
something
struck somebody that made them say, I needto reach out.
This person can help me.
And I understand that that is somethingthat is going to be consistent throughout
(09:00):
all the things in businesses.
Once you figure out the message thatyou're trying to deliver, you have to keep
showing up on the platform over and overagain in order to, for one, build the
following and for two, to get the right,the message in front of the right people.
So.
As I pivot, that will remain true and it'sgonna be, it's a little bit difficult to
(09:23):
mentally wrap my mind around just talkingmore about business.
I don't have any problem working withpeople in business.
I've actually had more success gettingpeople to adopt the things that I've
suggested or encouraged them to do to makemore money than I have had for anything
(09:43):
else.
Their relationships are on fire.
and they're not willing to do the thingsthat they need to do to fix them, even
though like I'm giving them all the toolsthat they need to make improvement.
But if I say, hey, this is a way that youcan make more money, then they're usually
all over it.
So why not just spend more time in thatspace, giving people ways that they are
(10:04):
going to be able to make more money?
Because that honestly, it does give room.
to then spend time on relationships, tospend time on your body, to spend time in
your relationship with your higher power.
But I mean, you have to be intentional.
Just making more money doesn't solveanything.
It is using that money to buy your timeback, to buy freedom, to buy independence,
(10:28):
and then to then put that freedom, time,and independence back into yourself,
building up the rest of your world.
Because in the end of it, for me, it's allabout having it all.
It's about having the business that I lovedoing that's successful.
It's about having the family that is onfire and in love with me as much as I love
(10:50):
them.
Having the relationship with God that's onfire and having the daily conversation
with God.
And then having a body that excites me andthat I feel excited to live in.
that it feels like a tool for my purpose.
And I understand to have all of that, Ican't get so focused on making more money
(11:10):
that I leave anything else unchecked.
So, that leads to my second big learning,because not only is consistency key, it is
that having a routine that allows you totouch base with all four domains of your
life every single day is crucial, becauseit becomes really easy to get sucked into
(11:30):
whatever is going well,
and to not pay attention to the thingsthat are hard to look at.
So whenever, you know, I get before, whenI was really fit, like I was loving the
gym.
I spent all my time at the gym, but I wasignoring the quality of my relationships.
I wasn't doing anything to grow in myfinances and my business.
(11:50):
So because it was just easy to pour all ofmyself into that one thing.
And whenever you have a routine that makessure that you're checking in with all
parts of your life, then,
It allows you to kind of obfuscate thatpitfall.
And even if you're just doing the bareminimum on each different domain of your
(12:11):
life every single day, then you're stillmiles apart from, per se, working weeks at
a time before you see your family.
That is not going to allow your family tofeel engaged with you.
You have to do something to make sure thateach day you're engaged with your family.
Each day you're engaging with God.
Each day you're engaging your body.
(12:32):
You'd say you're engaging your business.
It's doing them all every day.
And it sounds like a lot, but whenever youhave a routine that ensures it, it works
pretty easily.
So, like those are the two big things Iwanted to talk about.
I'm going to take a week or two off towork on this pivot in my business, work on
implementing some of the new things I'mgoing to learn in the course I'm taking
(12:53):
tomorrow.
Hopefully this, like putting all thesepieces together that I've learned is going
to really help me as I.
pivot into this business world.
I've learned all about building funnelsand marketing.
I've learned all about the coachingprocess and sales, marketing techniques,
and this is the next step.
I don't even really know what it is, butit's Tony Robbins, so I'm hoping it's
(13:16):
gonna be awesome.
That is it for today.
Thank you so much for joining me onAuthentic On Air.
I hope you'll come back for season threein which I will talk much, much more about
ways that you can make more money whilegrowing closer to your family.
whether it's through improving at yourcurrent job, starting your own business or
just growing your own business.
(13:38):
Those are the things I'm going to focuson.
And I'm going to give them an ADHD, youknow, twist because regular mainstream
philosophy doesn't always work whenever itcomes to the ADHD mind.
So being an ADHD entrepreneur, I havelearned some, some ways to tweak those
things that make them a little moreapplicable to the regular ADHD person.
(13:58):
So.
Stay tuned for that.
Please like, follow, and share if youenjoy this content and help me reach the
people who need my help.
Bye.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.