May 26, 2024 • 30 mins
Join Dr. Regan for the final episode of the Powerful Self-Care Series. Rather than becoming the victim of an intense world, constantly in survival mode, learn strategies for self-care. This episode focuses on how to increase resilience in active and effective ways.
Dr. Regan's Resources:
Zur Institute courses for clinicians
Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults, 2nd ed
Book: Understanding Autistic Behaviors
Autism in the Adult website homepage
Website Resources for Clinicians
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:07):
This is Dr. Regan. Thanks for joining me for a new episode of Autism in the Adult podcast.
I'm a certified autism specialist, the director of an adult diagnostic autism
clinic in central Illinois, and mom to a young adult on the spectrum.
This podcast is where I connect to neurology with impactful strategies for everyday living.
(00:30):
Today's episode is the last in the series called powerful self-care.
The background behind this series is knowing just how easy it is for us to feel
really tossed around by the world.
Our experiences can be intense, people are complex, and life really has a way of challenging us.
(00:53):
Although withdrawing into sleep
or rest or stopping all activities can be tempting in the short term.
If this is our approach to hardship over a lifetime, we end up becoming very small.
And in becoming smaller and smaller, we give up our strength and we start to
(01:14):
believe that we have no power to influence how we're feeling and how we're doing.
So I want you to find your power again and your strength and to use active strategies
to take care of yourself.
In the first episode, we talked about step one in learning powerful self-care,
and this is to begin noticing when you are dysregulated.
(01:39):
So dysregulation means when you're not feeling calm, attentive,
and psychologically present.
It can look like a fight reaction.
So it could be very loud. It could even be a crying spell, a meltdown,
shouting, anything that is an outburst or kind of loud external reaction.
(02:04):
It could look much quieter like a flight reaction, like I need to come home
from work or school, or I'm going to my room, I'm withdrawing.
I need to quit this conversation or quit this relationship.
A freeze reaction can also occur.
(02:24):
This is quiet, and it can look like, yes, I'm physically present,
but I'm psychologically offline.
I'm really not processing what's being said.
I am probably not going to remember a lot of this conversation later.
It can also look like a physical reaction. reaction
(02:45):
sometimes in certain circumstances
if we're dysregulated we could even have
what looks like a seizure but is a stress reaction
we could have a headache a stomach ache all over pain or fatigue dizziness and
these kinds of reactions can be clues that we're actually off center we're not
(03:11):
feeling calm and psychologically present.
When you notice yourself reacting in these ways, you can say to yourself,
this is a clue. This is important.
It's a clue that I'm not centered. And our goal is then to use that clue to
attend to what our nervous system needs in that moment.
(03:37):
In the second episode of the series, we focused on beginning to notice what
has recently drained our resilience.
If you want to use the image of a bank account, for example,
you could think, what has cost me lately?
Cost me some emotional calm, cost me some strength and energy.
(03:59):
These things could include really tough circumstances like being yelled at or
having an angry customer in your store, having a teacher or parent that's corrected you.
Similarly, it could include doing household chores, going to the dentist.
These everyday things that can really take some effort to do.
(04:22):
Even social things get attending a family gathering or Christmas.
Alternatively, things that cost us some resilience can also include activities
that we love and enjoy and want to do and choose to do.
Perhaps we have overloaded our schedule with classes or activities within a
(04:47):
special interest or attended a crowded event based on a key interest like a
comic book collection or a music concert.
Even though these are things we want to do,
we choose to do, and we're very interested in,
it can still really cost us in the sense that our adrenaline will be up Our
(05:09):
nervous systems will be trying to manage this spurt of adrenaline while we're there,
and it does drain some of our reserves.
So it leaves us vulnerable to not having much in the tank the next day or the next week.
When we know what kinds of things cost us, we can intentionally strategize how
(05:35):
to reduce the drain somewhat.
This is what we covered in our last episode, and what we'll focus on in this
episode are strategies to add resilience to our nervous system.
In terms of our images, we could think of depositing money in our bank account
(05:56):
or adding to a tank to prevent an entire drain or empty state.
And remember, we may think that we lost resilience when the tank is all of a
sudden completely drained.
Like, oh, just now I just lost all my calm.
But in actuality, we've been draining the tank for a while before we stall out
(06:22):
or are completely empty.
Kind of like by the time we actually run out of gas and our car stalls on the
side of the road, there have been lots of opportunities where we could have
put some gas in the tank any time between full and empty.
So in reality, we've been draining
the tank for a while and it really is important to refill the tank.
(06:47):
We don't want to use up all our reserves, reserves stall on the side of the road, so to speak,
we want to be aware of our nervous system needs multiple times a day and attend
to these needs because that's like filling the tank little bits at a time over a long period.
(07:08):
So it never gets so low that we're completely empty.
Then we prevent or at least reduce episodes of stalling.
If we're stalled out at the side of the road, waiting there for our car to feel
better is not going to be that effective.
We have to actively fill the tank with gas.
(07:29):
And likewise, realizing we're burned out and waiting for our nervous systems
to get filled up without taking active steps in this direction,
it's just not a very efficient way to regroup.
It can keep us stuck and it can reinforce this mindset that we're really subject
(07:51):
to the whim of whatever happens to us, that we're weak and powerless to feel better or move forward.
So we don't have complete power, but we do always have a way to actively care
for our nervous system and influence our well-being.
So what are these ways that we could actively care for our nervous system?
(08:15):
We're going to focus on this for our final episode in the Powerful Self-Care series.
The first thing we're going to focus on is taking care of the physical body.
The nervous system will feel most resilient when the physical body is receiving
everything it needs to work smoothly.
(08:36):
One approach to filling the tank then is to focus on the physical body as kind
of the framework for this.
How can I make sure my body has enough nutrients, water, rest, sleep?
Your nervous system probably doesn't give you all the prompts you need to say,
(08:58):
oh my gosh, I'm so hungry.
I better stop what I'm doing and take care of this physical need.
And if it does prompt us, a lot of times the prompt may seem,
you know, so small in comparison to what we're doing and we don't want to stop.
But our body really does need these things even when we're not getting those prompts.
(09:21):
We're not aware of feeling somewhat hungry or somewhat tired.
When the body doesn't have what it needs, it has to work harder and less efficiently
to do some of the same things it could be doing on a full tank, so to speak.
So, you know, oh, I have this hydration, I have this nutrition,
(09:44):
I can really run smoothly and with less effort.
So there is a toll on your system when it feels hungry or when you haven't slept, for example.
Problem solving how to get your physical needs taken care of can take multiple forms.
So one of these for the autistic could be what can I actually tolerate eating or drinking?
(10:09):
At certain times of day. And so some people might say, for example,
you know, I literally cannot tolerate to eat in the morning.
Problem solving this may take a while.
Since you're really not hungry, you don't feel well in the morning,
you put food in your mouth and it's just really, you just feel like you can't do it.
(10:32):
Take a moment to be creative in problem solving about what's realistic for your
nervous system and how to make these things accessible to your body at key times during the day.
So someone who struggles to eat in the morning may be able to drink a smoothie
or a carnation instant breakfast kind of drink.
(10:53):
These drinks often include a variety of vitamins and minerals.
Minerals, you can perhaps more
easily tolerate this kind of drink in the morning than you could eating.
There are versions of drinks that have protein and fiber in them and things
that can kind of jumpstart your system in the morning.
(11:13):
It's common for people to need some protein in the morning as well,
and maybe you could tolerate a little bit of peanut butter or a protein bar.
With regard to hydration, if you can't tolerate water, maybe a water-based drink
like Gatorade or a flavored water.
Make food and hydration choices that fit your system that you can tolerate as much as possible,
(11:38):
but make sure that you're actively trying to figure out this nutrition and hydration
piece so your system isn't running on empty.
A second thing you may have to problem -solve about what your body needs is
remembering to get these things.
Remembering to eat or drink, for example. Some of my clients find it helpful
(12:04):
to have items nearby that they can grab and easily eat without sitting down
to make a whole meal or trying to remember.
So if you have items that are set out to.
In a basket at home or right by the door as you're walking out,
maybe on your workspace at work if you have some things in easy reach and things
(12:29):
that you can see so you can remember they're there,
and in your car, like when you're
driving to work or driving to school or picking your kids up from work.
When you see these things, you can grab them and it makes it easier than having
to rely lie on your body's cues like, oh, I'm really thirsty right now.
(12:52):
When you don't have to stop what you're doing in order to eat and drink,
it can also make it easier.
So if you're at your workstation and it would really feel like a huge effort
to stop and change directions in order to eat or drink or take care of yourself,
you know, if this bottle of water and a nutrition bar are at your workspace,
(13:16):
it might be much more realistic for you to get little bits of nutrition and hydration that way.
Some people set timers to eat and drink.
Some use apps or have their smartwatches vibrate at intervals to remind them to grab something.
Another strategy people use is to pair eating and drinking with certain routines
(13:38):
in the day, parts of the routine that rarely change.
For example, having a jar of individual size snacks like nuts or protein bars,
trail mix, beef jerky right next to the door as you leave to go on to the next
part of your schedule so you can grab and go.
(14:00):
Maybe having a routine for rest during the workday that's always at 10 in the morning.
This is what I do at 10. my morning meetings are over.
I grab a drink and a snack bar and I walk around the block while I'm eating
and drinking and then I start my next mid-morning work routine.
(14:24):
Third, if you're going to problem
solve sleep and rest, that may also be really helpful to your system.
If you are an autistic individual, you likely have had sleep difficulties at
least some time within your lifespan.
And this neurologically based difficulty with sleep often takes the form of
(14:46):
being a night owl or having difficulty just turning your brain off at night
and being able to fall asleep.
The approach of just going to sleep when you feel tired may not be a really
great strategy in the sense that your body really isn't cooperating with this kind of rhythm.
Like it may not be in tune to how tired you are or it may not be able to wind
(15:12):
down as well as someone else's body.
And so saying, well, I don't feel tired may not be in your best interest as
a more intentional approach to really making sure that you're getting rest and sleep.
Lack of rest and sleep really makes everything else harder.
(15:33):
So it can be something that really benefits you throughout the day to pay attention
to this need that your body has.
Taking a deliberate approach to sleep may include taking an over-the-counter sleep supplement.
As always, discuss these decisions with your physician so that you know what's right for you.
(15:55):
And pay attention to which supplement you've tried, how many milligrams you've
taken, what impact it has on your system, what time you take them.
So one mistake people make is they try something and it doesn't help.
But this process of experimenting, paying attention to the details,
(16:15):
trying something different kind of gets lost.
A mistake people can make with supplements as well might be to take them 10
minutes before you want to sleep, when really you may need to take it a few hours before sleep.
So make safe choices when trying a new supplement, such as not operating machinery
or driving after taking,
(16:37):
but in a safe way, try various methods until you find something that supports
your sleep and a timeframe for taking the supplement before you want your system
to kind of wind down for sleep.
Your nighttime routine may also include some winding down kinds of physical
(16:58):
activities, maybe a warm bath, some nighttime yoga, dim lights.
If you feel like you need to listen to something while you're sleeping,
you may wish to choose a nighttime meditation rather than something more activating.
Would not be uncommon for those on the spectrum who are not getting enough rest
(17:20):
and have tried various methods to consult with your physician about a possible
medication to encourage sleep onset.
But make sure you're setting an alarm to get up at a consistent and reasonable time in the morning.
If you're like many on the spectrum, it's difficult to wake with an alarm.
(17:40):
And many of my clients use multiple alarms, sometimes within different sensory
areas, like one alarm might light up the room,
another vibrates under the pillow or mattress, and another one may make that
loud sound, the alarm sound.
They also often find it effective to put the loud alarms on the other side of
(18:04):
the room so they're not tempted to just roll over and turn them off or even
just doing that in their sleep,
not realizing that they've even turned it off or snoozed it.
Getting up at a consistent time can help your system feel centered and your
body's really going to like that consistency.
(18:25):
So these topics are about taking care of the physical body as an active way
of regulating yourself and making sure that you're adding to the tank.
In addition to taking care of the physical body, I want to talk about another
way to fill your system, to add resilience to your nervous system.
(18:50):
Now this approach works for anyone of any age, any generation,
vibration, any nervous system, and it's using physical inputs to calm and center the nervous system.
Let's talk about, for example, the infant that is screaming and crying,
(19:11):
but they've already been fed.
They've been burped. They're dry. They don't need to be changed.
But, you know, they get worked up to that point where they just can't calm down.
They're crying and screaming and overwrought.
It doesn't help them to reason with them about why they should calm down or
(19:33):
to tell them to calm down. That's not going to help.
But what does help their nervous system regulate is for us to hold them or even swaddle them.
And when we swaddle them or hold them, we're giving their muscles and joints some pressure input.
(19:54):
This pressure input is just a very innate way that the body receives input and
sends it to the brain in a way that helps calming.
This is why people often like weighted blankets for calming,
and we even use thunder vests for our dogs when they get nervous in a rainstorm.
(20:18):
Those are vests that give them some pressure for calming.
So this is just a very innate way that our nervous system works.
It's not specific to the autistic nervous system,
but the autism individual may really benefit from being intentional about making
sure their system gets enough physical input that they feel more grounded.
(20:44):
Pressure input in this way is called proprioceptive input, and it happens anytime
time that you get pressure in the muscles, like a massage,
a squeeze, weighted blanket, or pressure throughout the joints,
like doing something resistive, pushing, pulling, hanging.
(21:09):
Doing yoga, lifting weights, running through the neighborhood,
you get pressure in your joints.
That gives the brain proprioceptive input.
Now, what else do we do for the baby?
Well, we rock them, and this gives the brain vestibular input.
(21:29):
That's movement input where the fluid in your ears moves.
As we know, rocking is calming. It's regulating, and that's why some of us will
a rock if we're stressed, or we use movement for calming or alerting.
(21:49):
So getting movement, that's vestibular movement, does not include walking on
a treadmill, for example, because the fluid in our ears doesn't move.
We need to actually move through space.
So this would include things like swinging or being in a rocking chair,
going down a slide, spinning,
(22:10):
hanging upside down, doing a down dog, running through the neighborhood,
riding a bike, those kinds of things.
Now, everybody's nervous system is different.
So experimenting with what helps your nervous system to feel just that filled up, centered, relaxed,
(22:32):
regulated state is really going to give you power to use these strategies to
help yourself throughout the day.
Now, some of these things are exercise-based things.
For example, if you're running through the neighborhood, you get pressure in
your muscles and joints, and you also get movement input, vestibular input.
(22:55):
However, some of these things where we get this input are more restorative.
So rocking in a rocking chair while using a weighted blanket.
That's not exercise. exercise, what's important is not just getting ourselves
really tired by exercising, but focusing on getting pressure,
(23:16):
getting movement in a way that really serves your nervous system.
Now, the key to this is to make sure that you're giving your system inputs several times a day.
You could think of it like, what could I do for my system in the morning?
What could I do for my system in the afternoon or before bed.
(23:39):
And it may even be a 10-minute thing that helps your nervous system.
Some of my clients in the morning, they will jump on a little personal trampoline
just to get some pressure inputs and movement inputs.
It helps them feel ready to go and like, yes, I'm awake. My system is awake.
(24:02):
I'm not too distracted. I'm not too tired. I'm regulated. I'm centered.
I have people who love to ride their bike for input.
I have college students who tell me about how they love to go to the local park
and swing for half an hour, that that feels really good.
So any way that we find our nervous system being filled, calmed,
(24:27):
centered, we need to integrate those things into our daily life.
The third thing I want you to think about is access to things you enjoy and find soothing.
It may be a TV show. It could be sewing. It could be watching wrestling.
Access to these things is really important so that you can feel filled up.
(24:52):
The tricky balance here, though, is to make sure your system doesn't just do
these things all day or for too long.
Sometimes what we feel like doing actually works against us if we do it for
too long or do it in too great of quantities.
Quantities an example might be that you
(25:15):
know sometimes I feel like taking a nap
and I'm so tempted and if I give in I actually wake up and I feel worse so even
though in the moment it felt like I really wanted that it actually doesn't make
me feel better another example could could be,
(25:35):
you know, being offered all of your favorite foods.
And of course you want all of these favorite foods and you start to eat.
And you know, at the end, if we're not really watching ourselves,
we could feel really horrible.
So sometimes what we want and what we think will feel good actually leaves us
(25:55):
more drained or uncomfortable or just not feeling that well.
And the same can be true to access to
the things that we really enjoy our hobbies
our favorite topics video games
sewing cooking gardening it could be anything if we take on too much at a time
(26:16):
that's likely to be draining as much as it is filling your system can become
consumed with these things to the extent that it actually works against your well-being.
And a balanced approach is going to help us feel better.
For example, one way to balance things out could be that maybe you play your
(26:38):
favorite video game and then you decide that your system really does do best
with some sun every day and maybe some movement.
So you put some earbuds in and you walk around the block a couple times while
you listen to the video game soundtrack, the music, or you listen to someone
(26:59):
talking about their strategy for gameplay.
So these are creative ways where you're breaking up your day,
you're giving your system what it needs, but you're also not completely laying
down things that are interesting to you.
You're working them into your schedule while you're also So letting your body
(27:20):
get a wide variety of things that are really going to help it feel balanced
and centered throughout the day.
Finally, the fourth strategy is the before and after strategy.
When you know that something is coming up, that will be draining.
Maybe you have a tough conversation coming up, or you have a dentist appointment,
(27:41):
or you're even going to a concert or something that's fun, but it's going to be draining.
I recommend that you do filling things before and after in order to support your nervous system.
So before the dentist appointment, maybe you listen to your favorite music while
you're rocking in a rocking chair with a weighted blanket.
(28:03):
After the dentist, maybe you go get some sun and outside time and swing on the
swing at the park for 30 minutes.
Whatever the routine is for you, this is an intentional and effective way to
take care of your system.
It doesn't make everything in your day easy, but it does help your system in important ways.
(28:27):
You've actually planned, how can I care for myself because I have a difficult thing to do today?
In summary, we've talked about four approaches to actively taking care of yourself.
The first was taking care of the physical body.
The second is to use physical inputs like pressure and and movement to calm
(28:51):
the system and regulate the system.
The third is access to things you enjoy and find soothing and interesting.
And the fourth is to take care of your nervous system before and after something that can be draining.
So you're filling up before and you're recovering after by putting some more in the tank.
(29:13):
I love that we've been able to talk about ways to take Take care of your nervous
system that tap into your strength and power, your ability to influence how you feel.
Throughout the day, ask yourself things like, what does my system need right now?
That is, what does my system need in order to feel centered?
(29:36):
Ask yourself, what have I done to take care of myself today?
And think about recent things that have drained your resilience and things that have filled you up?
Have they evened out? Have they balanced out? If not, how else can you take care of yourself?
And be sure to check out my website adultandgeriatricautism.com to see if there
(29:59):
are resources there that may help you or someone you love.
If you're a parent or if you are an autistic individual who wishes your parent
understood you better, you may want to check out my Empowered parenting class.
And until next time, take care.
Music.
Music.
(00:07):
This is Dr. Regan. Thanks for joining me for a new episode of Autism in the Adult podcast.
I'm a certified autism specialist, the director of an adult diagnostic autism
clinic in central Illinois, and mom to a young adult on the spectrum.
This podcast is where I connect to neurology with impactful strategies for everyday living.
(00:30):
Today's episode is the last in the series called powerful self-care.
The background behind this series is knowing just how easy it is for us to feel
really tossed around by the world.
Our experiences can be intense, people are complex, and life really has a way of challenging us.
(00:53):
Although withdrawing into sleep
or rest or stopping all activities can be tempting in the short term.
If this is our approach to hardship over a lifetime, we end up becoming very small.
And in becoming smaller and smaller, we give up our strength and we start to
(01:14):
believe that we have no power to influence how we're feeling and how we're doing.
So I want you to find your power again and your strength and to use active strategies
to take care of yourself.
In the first episode, we talked about step one in learning powerful self-care,
and this is to begin noticing when you are dysregulated.
(01:39):
So dysregulation means when you're not feeling calm, attentive,
and psychologically present.
It can look like a fight reaction.
So it could be very loud. It could even be a crying spell, a meltdown,
shouting, anything that is an outburst or kind of loud external reaction.
(02:04):
It could look much quieter like a flight reaction, like I need to come home
from work or school, or I'm going to my room, I'm withdrawing.
I need to quit this conversation or quit this relationship.
A freeze reaction can also occur.
(02:24):
This is quiet, and it can look like, yes, I'm physically present,
but I'm psychologically offline.
I'm really not processing what's being said.
I am probably not going to remember a lot of this conversation later.
It can also look like a physical reaction. reaction
(02:45):
sometimes in certain circumstances
if we're dysregulated we could even have
what looks like a seizure but is a stress reaction
we could have a headache a stomach ache all over pain or fatigue dizziness and
these kinds of reactions can be clues that we're actually off center we're not
(03:11):
feeling calm and psychologically present.
When you notice yourself reacting in these ways, you can say to yourself,
this is a clue. This is important.
It's a clue that I'm not centered. And our goal is then to use that clue to
attend to what our nervous system needs in that moment.
(03:37):
In the second episode of the series, we focused on beginning to notice what
has recently drained our resilience.
If you want to use the image of a bank account, for example,
you could think, what has cost me lately?
Cost me some emotional calm, cost me some strength and energy.
(03:59):
These things could include really tough circumstances like being yelled at or
having an angry customer in your store, having a teacher or parent that's corrected you.
Similarly, it could include doing household chores, going to the dentist.
These everyday things that can really take some effort to do.
(04:22):
Even social things get attending a family gathering or Christmas.
Alternatively, things that cost us some resilience can also include activities
that we love and enjoy and want to do and choose to do.
Perhaps we have overloaded our schedule with classes or activities within a
(04:47):
special interest or attended a crowded event based on a key interest like a
comic book collection or a music concert.
Even though these are things we want to do,
we choose to do, and we're very interested in,
it can still really cost us in the sense that our adrenaline will be up Our
(05:09):
nervous systems will be trying to manage this spurt of adrenaline while we're there,
and it does drain some of our reserves.
So it leaves us vulnerable to not having much in the tank the next day or the next week.
When we know what kinds of things cost us, we can intentionally strategize how
(05:35):
to reduce the drain somewhat.
This is what we covered in our last episode, and what we'll focus on in this
episode are strategies to add resilience to our nervous system.
In terms of our images, we could think of depositing money in our bank account
(05:56):
or adding to a tank to prevent an entire drain or empty state.
And remember, we may think that we lost resilience when the tank is all of a
sudden completely drained.
Like, oh, just now I just lost all my calm.
But in actuality, we've been draining the tank for a while before we stall out
(06:22):
or are completely empty.
Kind of like by the time we actually run out of gas and our car stalls on the
side of the road, there have been lots of opportunities where we could have
put some gas in the tank any time between full and empty.
So in reality, we've been draining
the tank for a while and it really is important to refill the tank.
(06:47):
We don't want to use up all our reserves, reserves stall on the side of the road, so to speak,
we want to be aware of our nervous system needs multiple times a day and attend
to these needs because that's like filling the tank little bits at a time over a long period.
(07:08):
So it never gets so low that we're completely empty.
Then we prevent or at least reduce episodes of stalling.
If we're stalled out at the side of the road, waiting there for our car to feel
better is not going to be that effective.
We have to actively fill the tank with gas.
(07:29):
And likewise, realizing we're burned out and waiting for our nervous systems
to get filled up without taking active steps in this direction,
it's just not a very efficient way to regroup.
It can keep us stuck and it can reinforce this mindset that we're really subject
(07:51):
to the whim of whatever happens to us, that we're weak and powerless to feel better or move forward.
So we don't have complete power, but we do always have a way to actively care
for our nervous system and influence our well-being.
So what are these ways that we could actively care for our nervous system?
(08:15):
We're going to focus on this for our final episode in the Powerful Self-Care series.
The first thing we're going to focus on is taking care of the physical body.
The nervous system will feel most resilient when the physical body is receiving
everything it needs to work smoothly.
(08:36):
One approach to filling the tank then is to focus on the physical body as kind
of the framework for this.
How can I make sure my body has enough nutrients, water, rest, sleep?
Your nervous system probably doesn't give you all the prompts you need to say,
(08:58):
oh my gosh, I'm so hungry.
I better stop what I'm doing and take care of this physical need.
And if it does prompt us, a lot of times the prompt may seem,
you know, so small in comparison to what we're doing and we don't want to stop.
But our body really does need these things even when we're not getting those prompts.
(09:21):
We're not aware of feeling somewhat hungry or somewhat tired.
When the body doesn't have what it needs, it has to work harder and less efficiently
to do some of the same things it could be doing on a full tank, so to speak.
So, you know, oh, I have this hydration, I have this nutrition,
(09:44):
I can really run smoothly and with less effort.
So there is a toll on your system when it feels hungry or when you haven't slept, for example.
Problem solving how to get your physical needs taken care of can take multiple forms.
So one of these for the autistic could be what can I actually tolerate eating or drinking?
(10:09):
At certain times of day. And so some people might say, for example,
you know, I literally cannot tolerate to eat in the morning.
Problem solving this may take a while.
Since you're really not hungry, you don't feel well in the morning,
you put food in your mouth and it's just really, you just feel like you can't do it.
(10:32):
Take a moment to be creative in problem solving about what's realistic for your
nervous system and how to make these things accessible to your body at key times during the day.
So someone who struggles to eat in the morning may be able to drink a smoothie
or a carnation instant breakfast kind of drink.
(10:53):
These drinks often include a variety of vitamins and minerals.
Minerals, you can perhaps more
easily tolerate this kind of drink in the morning than you could eating.
There are versions of drinks that have protein and fiber in them and things
that can kind of jumpstart your system in the morning.
(11:13):
It's common for people to need some protein in the morning as well,
and maybe you could tolerate a little bit of peanut butter or a protein bar.
With regard to hydration, if you can't tolerate water, maybe a water-based drink
like Gatorade or a flavored water.
Make food and hydration choices that fit your system that you can tolerate as much as possible,
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but make sure that you're actively trying to figure out this nutrition and hydration
piece so your system isn't running on empty.
A second thing you may have to problem -solve about what your body needs is
remembering to get these things.
Remembering to eat or drink, for example. Some of my clients find it helpful
(12:04):
to have items nearby that they can grab and easily eat without sitting down
to make a whole meal or trying to remember.
So if you have items that are set out to.
In a basket at home or right by the door as you're walking out,
maybe on your workspace at work if you have some things in easy reach and things
(12:29):
that you can see so you can remember they're there,
and in your car, like when you're
driving to work or driving to school or picking your kids up from work.
When you see these things, you can grab them and it makes it easier than having
to rely lie on your body's cues like, oh, I'm really thirsty right now.
(12:52):
When you don't have to stop what you're doing in order to eat and drink,
it can also make it easier.
So if you're at your workstation and it would really feel like a huge effort
to stop and change directions in order to eat or drink or take care of yourself,
you know, if this bottle of water and a nutrition bar are at your workspace,
(13:16):
it might be much more realistic for you to get little bits of nutrition and hydration that way.
Some people set timers to eat and drink.
Some use apps or have their smartwatches vibrate at intervals to remind them to grab something.
Another strategy people use is to pair eating and drinking with certain routines
(13:38):
in the day, parts of the routine that rarely change.
For example, having a jar of individual size snacks like nuts or protein bars,
trail mix, beef jerky right next to the door as you leave to go on to the next
part of your schedule so you can grab and go.
(14:00):
Maybe having a routine for rest during the workday that's always at 10 in the morning.
This is what I do at 10. my morning meetings are over.
I grab a drink and a snack bar and I walk around the block while I'm eating
and drinking and then I start my next mid-morning work routine.
(14:24):
Third, if you're going to problem
solve sleep and rest, that may also be really helpful to your system.
If you are an autistic individual, you likely have had sleep difficulties at
least some time within your lifespan.
And this neurologically based difficulty with sleep often takes the form of
(14:46):
being a night owl or having difficulty just turning your brain off at night
and being able to fall asleep.
The approach of just going to sleep when you feel tired may not be a really
great strategy in the sense that your body really isn't cooperating with this kind of rhythm.
Like it may not be in tune to how tired you are or it may not be able to wind
(15:12):
down as well as someone else's body.
And so saying, well, I don't feel tired may not be in your best interest as
a more intentional approach to really making sure that you're getting rest and sleep.
Lack of rest and sleep really makes everything else harder.
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So it can be something that really benefits you throughout the day to pay attention
to this need that your body has.
Taking a deliberate approach to sleep may include taking an over-the-counter sleep supplement.
As always, discuss these decisions with your physician so that you know what's right for you.
(15:55):
And pay attention to which supplement you've tried, how many milligrams you've
taken, what impact it has on your system, what time you take them.
So one mistake people make is they try something and it doesn't help.
But this process of experimenting, paying attention to the details,
(16:15):
trying something different kind of gets lost.
A mistake people can make with supplements as well might be to take them 10
minutes before you want to sleep, when really you may need to take it a few hours before sleep.
So make safe choices when trying a new supplement, such as not operating machinery
or driving after taking,
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but in a safe way, try various methods until you find something that supports
your sleep and a timeframe for taking the supplement before you want your system
to kind of wind down for sleep.
Your nighttime routine may also include some winding down kinds of physical
(16:58):
activities, maybe a warm bath, some nighttime yoga, dim lights.
If you feel like you need to listen to something while you're sleeping,
you may wish to choose a nighttime meditation rather than something more activating.
Would not be uncommon for those on the spectrum who are not getting enough rest
(17:20):
and have tried various methods to consult with your physician about a possible
medication to encourage sleep onset.
But make sure you're setting an alarm to get up at a consistent and reasonable time in the morning.
If you're like many on the spectrum, it's difficult to wake with an alarm.
(17:40):
And many of my clients use multiple alarms, sometimes within different sensory
areas, like one alarm might light up the room,
another vibrates under the pillow or mattress, and another one may make that
loud sound, the alarm sound.
They also often find it effective to put the loud alarms on the other side of
(18:04):
the room so they're not tempted to just roll over and turn them off or even
just doing that in their sleep,
not realizing that they've even turned it off or snoozed it.
Getting up at a consistent time can help your system feel centered and your
body's really going to like that consistency.
(18:25):
So these topics are about taking care of the physical body as an active way
of regulating yourself and making sure that you're adding to the tank.
In addition to taking care of the physical body, I want to talk about another
way to fill your system, to add resilience to your nervous system.
(18:50):
Now this approach works for anyone of any age, any generation,
vibration, any nervous system, and it's using physical inputs to calm and center the nervous system.
Let's talk about, for example, the infant that is screaming and crying,
(19:11):
but they've already been fed.
They've been burped. They're dry. They don't need to be changed.
But, you know, they get worked up to that point where they just can't calm down.
They're crying and screaming and overwrought.
It doesn't help them to reason with them about why they should calm down or
(19:33):
to tell them to calm down. That's not going to help.
But what does help their nervous system regulate is for us to hold them or even swaddle them.
And when we swaddle them or hold them, we're giving their muscles and joints some pressure input.
(19:54):
This pressure input is just a very innate way that the body receives input and
sends it to the brain in a way that helps calming.
This is why people often like weighted blankets for calming,
and we even use thunder vests for our dogs when they get nervous in a rainstorm.
(20:18):
Those are vests that give them some pressure for calming.
So this is just a very innate way that our nervous system works.
It's not specific to the autistic nervous system,
but the autism individual may really benefit from being intentional about making
sure their system gets enough physical input that they feel more grounded.
(20:44):
Pressure input in this way is called proprioceptive input, and it happens anytime
time that you get pressure in the muscles, like a massage,
a squeeze, weighted blanket, or pressure throughout the joints,
like doing something resistive, pushing, pulling, hanging.
(21:09):
Doing yoga, lifting weights, running through the neighborhood,
you get pressure in your joints.
That gives the brain proprioceptive input.
Now, what else do we do for the baby?
Well, we rock them, and this gives the brain vestibular input.
(21:29):
That's movement input where the fluid in your ears moves.
As we know, rocking is calming. It's regulating, and that's why some of us will
a rock if we're stressed, or we use movement for calming or alerting.
(21:49):
So getting movement, that's vestibular movement, does not include walking on
a treadmill, for example, because the fluid in our ears doesn't move.
We need to actually move through space.
So this would include things like swinging or being in a rocking chair,
going down a slide, spinning,
(22:10):
hanging upside down, doing a down dog, running through the neighborhood,
riding a bike, those kinds of things.
Now, everybody's nervous system is different.
So experimenting with what helps your nervous system to feel just that filled up, centered, relaxed,
(22:32):
regulated state is really going to give you power to use these strategies to
help yourself throughout the day.
Now, some of these things are exercise-based things.
For example, if you're running through the neighborhood, you get pressure in
your muscles and joints, and you also get movement input, vestibular input.
(22:55):
However, some of these things where we get this input are more restorative.
So rocking in a rocking chair while using a weighted blanket.
That's not exercise. exercise, what's important is not just getting ourselves
really tired by exercising, but focusing on getting pressure,
(23:16):
getting movement in a way that really serves your nervous system.
Now, the key to this is to make sure that you're giving your system inputs several times a day.
You could think of it like, what could I do for my system in the morning?
What could I do for my system in the afternoon or before bed.
(23:39):
And it may even be a 10-minute thing that helps your nervous system.
Some of my clients in the morning, they will jump on a little personal trampoline
just to get some pressure inputs and movement inputs.
It helps them feel ready to go and like, yes, I'm awake. My system is awake.
(24:02):
I'm not too distracted. I'm not too tired. I'm regulated. I'm centered.
I have people who love to ride their bike for input.
I have college students who tell me about how they love to go to the local park
and swing for half an hour, that that feels really good.
So any way that we find our nervous system being filled, calmed,
(24:27):
centered, we need to integrate those things into our daily life.
The third thing I want you to think about is access to things you enjoy and find soothing.
It may be a TV show. It could be sewing. It could be watching wrestling.
Access to these things is really important so that you can feel filled up.
(24:52):
The tricky balance here, though, is to make sure your system doesn't just do
these things all day or for too long.
Sometimes what we feel like doing actually works against us if we do it for
too long or do it in too great of quantities.
Quantities an example might be that you
(25:15):
know sometimes I feel like taking a nap
and I'm so tempted and if I give in I actually wake up and I feel worse so even
though in the moment it felt like I really wanted that it actually doesn't make
me feel better another example could could be,
(25:35):
you know, being offered all of your favorite foods.
And of course you want all of these favorite foods and you start to eat.
And you know, at the end, if we're not really watching ourselves,
we could feel really horrible.
So sometimes what we want and what we think will feel good actually leaves us
(25:55):
more drained or uncomfortable or just not feeling that well.
And the same can be true to access to
the things that we really enjoy our hobbies
our favorite topics video games
sewing cooking gardening it could be anything if we take on too much at a time
(26:16):
that's likely to be draining as much as it is filling your system can become
consumed with these things to the extent that it actually works against your well-being.
And a balanced approach is going to help us feel better.
For example, one way to balance things out could be that maybe you play your
(26:38):
favorite video game and then you decide that your system really does do best
with some sun every day and maybe some movement.
So you put some earbuds in and you walk around the block a couple times while
you listen to the video game soundtrack, the music, or you listen to someone
(26:59):
talking about their strategy for gameplay.
So these are creative ways where you're breaking up your day,
you're giving your system what it needs, but you're also not completely laying
down things that are interesting to you.
You're working them into your schedule while you're also So letting your body
(27:20):
get a wide variety of things that are really going to help it feel balanced
and centered throughout the day.
Finally, the fourth strategy is the before and after strategy.
When you know that something is coming up, that will be draining.
Maybe you have a tough conversation coming up, or you have a dentist appointment,
(27:41):
or you're even going to a concert or something that's fun, but it's going to be draining.
I recommend that you do filling things before and after in order to support your nervous system.
So before the dentist appointment, maybe you listen to your favorite music while
you're rocking in a rocking chair with a weighted blanket.
(28:03):
After the dentist, maybe you go get some sun and outside time and swing on the
swing at the park for 30 minutes.
Whatever the routine is for you, this is an intentional and effective way to
take care of your system.
It doesn't make everything in your day easy, but it does help your system in important ways.
(28:27):
You've actually planned, how can I care for myself because I have a difficult thing to do today?
In summary, we've talked about four approaches to actively taking care of yourself.
The first was taking care of the physical body.
The second is to use physical inputs like pressure and and movement to calm
(28:51):
the system and regulate the system.
The third is access to things you enjoy and find soothing and interesting.
And the fourth is to take care of your nervous system before and after something that can be draining.
So you're filling up before and you're recovering after by putting some more in the tank.
(29:13):
I love that we've been able to talk about ways to take Take care of your nervous
system that tap into your strength and power, your ability to influence how you feel.
Throughout the day, ask yourself things like, what does my system need right now?
That is, what does my system need in order to feel centered?
(29:36):
Ask yourself, what have I done to take care of myself today?
And think about recent things that have drained your resilience and things that have filled you up?
Have they evened out? Have they balanced out? If not, how else can you take care of yourself?
And be sure to check out my website adultandgeriatricautism.com to see if there
(29:59):
are resources there that may help you or someone you love.
If you're a parent or if you are an autistic individual who wishes your parent
understood you better, you may want to check out my Empowered parenting class.
And until next time, take care.
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