April 15, 2025 • 46 mins
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Jules-AutisticRadio.com (00:01):
Hi there.
Every Sunday a group of autisticpeople get together and drop in.
It's an informal group.
Um, but some of the things thatpeople say deserve a bigger audience,
so they give us permission for usto put them in a an edited reel.
And that's what we are here for today'sedited reel of the conversations
(00:23):
that we have about our own autism.
Cheers, enjoy.
So another week has passed.
I've noticing on the Facebookbecause of things that have gone
on in the United States, the, theposts are actually getting more and
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: more intense (00:32):
undefined
and you know, and rightly so.
So it's actually become a bitmore difficult to share anything.
It's just quite a shamehearing so many people.
Through their posts that arestruggling at the moment.
(00:55):
That was good about it though, justfor conversation sake, is people are
fighting back and people have stillgot that safe space, although the
fuel have been attacked elsewhere.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (01:09):
But here's a safe space I certainly feel.
Today.
I had a lazy day today and I thought,I'm looking forward to tonight.
But that's the fun of it.
Good evening, Nico.
Hello.
Hello everyone.
I was just getting my bitsand pieces all together,
(01:29):
it does seem
very much as though the neurodivergency
concept is really being pulled intothe culture war a lot more than I
probably envisaged at the beginning.
That's, uh, that's quite a difficultsituation for us politically as a group.
(01:54):
Yeah, I'm one done if what's happening.
The United States.
United, if that's whatwe're talking about,
it's more an economic thing,
which then is political.
Yeah.
But of course youmentioned the culture wars.
(02:16):
They are carrying that on.
But I think the root philosophy isthat you've gotta look after yourself.
And I
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (02:28):
think that might be something that needs to be faced.
I'm not a supporter of that, butI'm just trying to figure it out.
I mean, the thing, thefrustration and the fear.
Fear and frustration.
By the way, what I put it is the
United States is
often looked upon becauseof how big it is because of
(02:54):
her.
Its with our own kind of culturein many ways because of its media,
film, books, music.
It's like when you see things thatare happening now and people actually
void for that actually does feela bit concerning about people's
minds out there and how they feel.
To us people, especially people with.
(03:15):
The gender thing was the firstthing to throw at the, you
know, the race thing is what?
It's just like, it's like pure kinda, itfeels like pure hatred against everybody.
That's not.
What people think is the right way to be.
And autism's going toget caught up and now
the neurodivergent movement'sgonna get caught up on that.
And it's, it's just, but the fightingback, and I've seen the fighting back,
(03:40):
but it's quite intense when you seesome of the, the posts and all that.
You, you just, I'm kind ofglad in a way that I'm not, you
know, caught up in that and, um,
but as.
It's
just why can't people just leave peoplealone and if they're not hurting others?
It just really frustrates me.
It just seems bullying on the grandscale and all just because of an ego,
(04:05):
one person or a good group of peoplejust to show that like we could do
something or just basically cause a.
Just to be seen and do something justto cause a RO or just to annoy people.
It's just very, it's just not nice at all.
And obviously the economic thingcomes into always, no matter what,
(04:26):
it doesn't matter who is there.
I mean, even the economicthing is biting hard.
You know, even in Scotland,however, shared posts
regarding pathways and allthat, getting, you know.
Because of funding.
I know that's kind of escalatingto one conversation to another, but
(04:47):
it all ties into, you know, justthe general ill feeling out there.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (04:54):
Yeah, you tied that up quite well, Harry.
Thanks.
I think the way I've seen it gois, is restricted to my awareness
over the last few years, so.
Knowing that I was near a divergentautistic in 2019 and then getting
a diagnosis in 2020, you know, thatgives me five or six years now in
(05:21):
my late fifties into my sixties.
So the information that's around me atthat time means it's quite easy for me to.
Um, start identifying and be quite,you know, happy that that is a
(05:44):
valuable, useful part of everything.
But during that same amount oftime when all of those eyes have
been opened, et cetera, this other
pendulum swing against the idea ofpeople being neurodivergent and.
(06:04):
Accepting difference amongst thepopulation is swinging really tough
at the same time the other direction.
So an awful lot of us have, uh, havestuck our, uh, flags to the mast
and have, you know, put ourselvesabove the field as tall poppies
(06:26):
just at the time when the societiesget very, very white supremacists.
I'm very, very conformist in what is andisn't okay about how humans, um, behave.
I feel
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (06:41):
that this, this feels really connected to something
that's been troubling me a bit this week.
Not troubling me, but working away at me.
And it was hearing, hearing somebodysay, and a few people agree that they.
And having to sort of contend with likecertain parts of me that feel like that
(07:06):
about myself, like and about autism.
What are the things that Ilike about being autistic?
And I've actually, like, I actuallyfound out that I, I found a lot of
fun and I really like, I really find
like joy.
The way that I see the world andthe way that I interact with the
(07:27):
world, but it's taken huge amountsof unmasking that were like,
honestly, pretty quite a traumatizingprocess to go through as well.
So I understand that struggle, butI feel like that the struggle's
kind of worth it because.
I feel that when we can get ourselvesinto a place of like good emotional, good
(07:51):
wellbeing, good mental head space, andlike getting to engage, like, you know,
engage with other autistic people or like.
Um, ashamedly
engage in our passions, things like that.
I just feel that we get to showthe difference between like really
traumatized and excluded autismand healthy, thriving, um, autism.
(08:16):
And so I, I don't know.
I feel like I've just come offsocial media and I'm just focusing
on like the work that trying to doto connect with other people, because
I'll think otherwise if I face offall these bullies that aren't even
actually in my life, they're my
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (08:40):
phone.
Identity.
I don't,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: I'm, I'm just wondering how (08:43):
undefined
much that is under threat.
We, we find that identity and confirmit and, you know, live out our lives.
I think what's happening is people justdon't want to support it economically
and maybe even culturally, but
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (09:06):
I don't.
Kinda repression.
I think it's more bunch
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: of friends, your identity, (09:11):
undefined
then you'll have to
find your own way.
I don't know, it's kinda complex forme 'cause I'm thinking back on a lot of
things before I identified, as Joe puts it
and I'm thinking, you know, Icould be running about now letting
this company use my car to getme to deliver parcels to people.
(09:36):
As a job option, because that'sthe way I was looking at life was
like, I've gotta somehow fit in.
I've gotta somehow earn my trust.
What can I do?
What skills do I have forthem for that society?
Identification and identity has givenme this other thing now, which is okay.
(09:58):
All that crazy weird stuff that Ireally, truly believed in and was me.
I was hiding.
It is me.
And so just go for that.
Relax.
Now do it.
So I somehow have to find a way ofmaking that work and work with others
and find others to make that work.
(10:19):
'cause you can't do itall on your own really.
But you can do a certain amount.
So, so it's just something I,that I keep thinking about other
groups that have had a hard time.
Know, like before they were legalized, saylike homosexuals and that culture and how
(10:39):
kind of prominent, what words can I use?
How
integrated to a certain extent thatsociety is that part of our culture.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (10:52):
It's economically powerful, it's culturally powerful.
It just had
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (10:58):
to.
Stand up for itself to certain extent,and I'm not saying people in the
autistic neurodivergent communityaren't standing up for themselves.
I think the big debate is economic.
They just don't want to give us anydollars or pounds or special treatment.
(11:19):
But I maybe total misreading that andI'd like to hear it from anyone if I.
I look at.
I've been through a journey in termsof the autism thing and because I was
diagnosed medically and it was througha health crisis, as I've mentioned
before, and it was called AspergerSyndrome at the time and back 1998,
(11:44):
and I was 17 and I'm now nearly 44.
And there was a time where I was reallyannoyed at the injustice of having this
condition and not being so called normaland how some things are so difficult to
(12:04):
do and how communicating appear to be sodifficult to, to process conversations,
doing things like.
Like shopping and doing thingslike paying bills, you know,
doing the general life thing.
(12:25):
But in time, I've felt
to to love myself.
I grew to love myself andrespect myself in a grand way.
A powerful way that if anybodydares to try and put me
down, I'll say, no bar.
That's going to grind me down becausethey feel hatred in their heart or they,
(12:45):
they've got a limited scope in how theyfeel things should be, and then they
try to kind of give everybody else tofit any of this sort of, can I box just
to suit their agenda, whether it beeconomical or whether they think it,
you know, religiously, spiritually, or
whatever.
To knock people down for who theyare for the sake of one person's
(13:09):
agenda or a certain agenda.
Created by limited number of people isvery frustrating and I'll never do it.
But there's so many people that haveworked so hard to get to where they
are, and because of the power of socialmedia, as we know, a lot of is positive.
Look, a lot of isnegative, and people just
Jules-AutisticRadio.com: put comments on everything. (13:35):
undefined
You know, one example is a shared, uh,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (13:43):
post regarding, plus, you know, this is
through the local council, and this isjust about a survey and the comments,
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (13:55):
what the first comment was a, it was basically
a cartoon of someone vomiting.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (14:00):
Now that can be used for someone who
says autism or something different.
And I was really angry at that iswhy does someone have to put that?
They did not have to do that.
They not need comment, evenif they feel a certain way.
And I think people just get this habitof just saying, well, they're thinking
without actually the full thought beingthrough and the reasoning being through.
(14:23):
People have hatred in the how it feels.
Well, a lot of peoplejust kind of put hatred
comments without thinking aboutthem and realizing the consequence.
So it's, it's a minefield out there.
And the reason why a lot of people whoused to use social media no longer do,
or if they do, do is not limited scale.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (14:42):
I just wanted to quickly say Harry, like sometimes when
people put those, their opinions out therelike that, I'm sometimes a bit grateful
'cause I'm like, I'll avoid you now.
But it also is, it's spread in hatredas well, and it's, it's kind of, it,
it does feel like it's, it's horribleto see, but I do actually, I prefer to
(15:02):
see a comment than get involved withsomebody and be harmed like directly too.
So.
It reflects on
them.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (15:12):
In my case, I think I'm almost a bit Teflon.
I really don't care.
I mean, you know, I, I don't reallyget a lot of bad comments and I'm,
I carefully curate my social mediato make sure that there's nothing in
there that's gonna creep up on me.
And if anything did, they'd just go.
I think because I've gotquite a hard shell anyway.
(15:32):
I think I have, I've got a reallyhard shell, so things tend to
bounce off me a little bit more.
Sorry about that.
It's the weather coming in.
But yeah, I, it tends to bounce off mea little bit and he always has done, I
mean, before I was diagnosed and I wasat school, I. I was bullied or people
tried to bully me and I wouldn't let them.
I just used to walk away from them.
(15:52):
So I, I'm not, I, I've got quite athick skin and I don't know why or
where I think I know where I got itfrom, but, you know, it's, it's strange.
I, I'm just, I'm care.
I'm, I'm pretty much, I, I'mout there and I do it and I
don't really get much comment.
And so maybe I'm a little bit sheltered.
I dunno.
It
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: coordinate me so far from everyone, (16:15):
undefined
you know, especially listen,Nicola just kind of spoken.
It's just showed the inspirationagainst that sort of grind,
you know, against that sort of.
Negativity out there.
It's like ways of dealing with it.
Either well look at, if you seesomeone making a comment, it's
like, avoid that person from my own.
(16:36):
Or you just, you know,just look, I don't care.
I am what I am.
I don't like me.
I don't care if you don't like me.
There's nothing wrong.
You know, this is me.
I'm taking from it.
And that's a very inspirational tohear, you know, even from my position.
And a lot of people will be so inspiredby that because there'll be so many people
that feel, you know, really knocked down.
(16:59):
So it's good to hear comments like that.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (17:04):
I would definitely say that this attitude
serves me better as like a woman in myforties than it did when I was younger.
I think life can be a lot harder on youat different times in your life or demand
more of you or test you in different ways.
So it's sometimes justlike toughen it out.
Isn't, hasn't like beenenough and I think.
(17:30):
Kinda lost my way before is by justbecoming really isolated and now I really
value like diverse, a diversity of like
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: connections in my life. (17:38):
undefined
I'm a one man band.
I always have been.
I always will be, and it's fine.
And honestly speaking, now I'm of anage where, I mean, I'm pretty settled.
I'm married, I've got my own place.
We live here.
Everything's all right, everything's allright, everything's fine in my world.
And so.
(18:00):
I don't have to prove anything to anybody.
I think when I was a teenager, when Iwas in my twenties and thirties, I tried
really hard to fit in and do things and,and become what the, what everybody else
was doing and get in sync with the world.
But now I'm outta sync with the worldand it's actually not a bad place to be.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Yeah, I get that. (18:16):
undefined
You know, I've had that myself like.
I felt at one time I had to provemyself to society because of
the working class guilt I had.
Because I didn't have employment.
I still don't have that much employment.
You know, in my history.
It's a lot of kind of voluntary jobs andall that, but the way I look at it now and
(18:40):
the way I've looked at it for a long timeas I've been working the community for 25
years.
You know, respect, respect.
I'm comfortable with who I am andbeing, obviously there's good days
and bad days with everyone else.
(19:01):
I live a, my own home.
I've been in own, the house I'm in.
It was the first house I moved down toafter like my parents, so when I've been
here for about two, four years almost.
So son off
area.
Les, I've been fine and I'm involvedin the local tennis and resident
association for the last 10 yearsI've been involved in so many
different things within the community.
(19:23):
So even though I'm not always out andabout talking to everybody, but I feel I'm
part of something and part of somethingthat suits me as well as others and.
It just shows you these things
can work if you, you find a way to letthings suit you and you be comfortable
with it, and I know that's a lot.
It's a difficult kind of processin journey to go through.
I just look that as
(19:48):
life, don't get me wrong, Ihaven't get thick skin, every
criticism I get, even if it's a wayrecommendation, I always gotta be Joel.
It depends how it said.
Even if it's said gently,it's not as bad course.
How did I make that mistake?
And then can I go over me
wee bit?
But it's just the way I'm,and it helps me improve things
(20:08):
anyway, so it's all good really.
But, but I know what you're saying there.
It's just you get to a positionwhere settled fine, and you don't
have to prove yourself, you know,you can set yourself challenges.
Well, I set myself challenges, but it's.
To myself about
(20:30):
things I can do.
Like I did the thing because I thought Icould never work in a shop, but terms I
could, I didn't really like it in termsof the environment, nothing normal.
The environment really, itwas just noisy and just not
for me, but at least I did it.
I tried it, I did it.
I did it for four years and I wasproud of myself for doing that.
So it's little things like that.
I like to challenge myself.
Every now and again thatincludes speaking on radio.
I relate quite a lot to the,like the volunteering thing.
That's
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (20:56):
how
I get most of like my connectionand I like how it's, I like how it's
kind of structured introduction.
I'm trying to kind of be a wee bit moreopen to friendship, but I'm just like,
how long for, how long are we here for?
Quite the rules.
(21:17):
So I definitely find likevolunteering helps me out quite a lot.
And what you were saying about challengingyourself, like I feel like, um, I was
thinking about this earlier and how Ifeel like, I don't know if it's a general
autistic thing, but being able to kindof get yourself to do, to be able to
do most things like systematically.
(21:41):
I like, I look back and I'm like,I don't know how well integrated
my system sometimes are, ifthat makes any sense at all.
I got lost at the end there,but yeah, the first part about
volunteering and connection,
the
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: thing about volunteering (21:56):
undefined
was quite strange because ithappened by accident, I suppose.
A lot of things do.
People plan things, but the way thingsfall into place is always like an accident
or an opportunity to just sponsor surfing.
And it was like 25
years ago, nearly.
Well, so we by away now, the, theanniversary is October, but it
(22:18):
was like, I was on the, I usedto go to these social groups,
you know, for a spell to get me outtathe house basically, and sit with people.
It was basically these social groups.
From, basically it was mental health.
It was like NHS provided the NHS and localcouncil provided kind of jointly, you
(22:40):
know, in the church hall or somewhere.
Just basically somewherewas a we room where
people can go in and it's a drop in.
Just would be a, you know, between,you know, a two hour to a three or
four hour period, depending what
day it was.
And I can remember, used to go toone on a Tuesday and a Saturday.
It was a Tuesday when, wheresomeone was talking about
(23:02):
a mental health forum and I had noidea what they were talking about,
but getting invited to a meetingand then it just turned out to be
an a GM, an annual general meeting.
And then I got, I didn't resist enough.
I got, I got voted in thecommittee, and then it just started.
(23:23):
I was going to these meetings andpeople were talking about, it was
basically about mental health servicesand how they could be better provided
for people who use the services andobviously people who care for people
who use the the mental health servicesand I. There were so many meetings.
I'm going, what am I doing here?
This is born, but within three or fouryears, I was one of the, the office
(23:45):
mayors, and then I ended up becoming thechairman before moving on to other things.
It's just, it's, it's amazing howjourneys come into play, and I think
it's because the way that committeesare structured and the way that you can
actually structure to suit yourself,like the chairperson before me.
Came in about five minutesbefore the meeting and then
shared the meeting then at home.
(24:06):
But what I to do was Icome in two hours early.
We had an an office, the secretary setup the meeting and have a chat, you know,
during that coffee and then have a sort.
Sort a kind of calm down period orwe to call it the bitching period
because of the, the meeting areusually quite intense, you know, public
meetings sometimes because uh, it wasprobably people coming in and it was
health boards and there was a lot ofintense and really difficult topics
and we just sat and had a coffee and.
Talking about the meeting andhow, you know, how tough it was.
And then, you know, this sort of kindcalming down period before I've been home.
And obviously we were kind of supportingeach other, myself and the secretary at
(24:50):
the time where everybody else went home.
And, um, that's when I felt, well, Icouldn't really do this and other things.
And I, I do it to this day.
No, it was a chairperson, but just beingpart of a committee, a board, a set up,
you know, where there's structure inplace and timetable in place because
(25:10):
you schedule meetings, et cetera.
And above all.
The reason you're doing it for, tohelp things make things a bit better,
not medicals, of course not, butbeing things a bit better, being a
pressure group, that sort of thing.
And it's personally, you get up in themorning and things are bit doom and gloom.
You think, well, I'm goingsomewhere and I'm going to
(25:31):
make something a be bit better.
Maybe even, you know, that thing Ialways say about if, if at least one
person is benefits in a positive wayfrom my actions, it's worth doing.
Something to get bed for.
It's just so I'm kind of rambling about.
All these memories are allflooding back in, but that's
my story and a shorten version.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (25:55):
Because I can really relate to that anyway.
'cause, you know, I do a lot of thisstuff and I find that most of the, the
idea of socialization and friendship isactually better suited for me when I'm
doing something that's actually, youknow, a project or something that I'm,
I'm, I'm kind of committing myself to.
So, I mean, I don't like going outfor a cup of coffee and having to
do small talk, small talk for anhour, but I, I really enjoy meeting
(26:18):
up with other people for the.
A sort of laid out discussionwhere I can go there and, and, and
say my piece and feel like I'vecontributed, and then I come home
and I go, I can think about that.
And it's nice to do that.
And I find it much more rewardingpersonally than having a, a group
of friends that I go out and justdo nothing with and then just
wander home from, you know, I, I,I feel an agenda and a timetable is
(26:43):
something that I really benefit from.
And it helps me to exercise the outdoorspart of me and so I can go home and
feel like, you know, settled and happywith what I've done with my time.
I got into
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com: volunteering and stuff through mental (26:57):
undefined
health groups and stuff as well.
I was just thinking about one of thefirst ones that I was part of, and it was
a 12 week kind nature one that they, itwas, it had NHS funding, so it was free.
We were doing things like buildingdens and with sticks and branches
(27:19):
that I just had such a good time.
I remember really going from likeat the very beginning, couldn't
just, couldn't hold it togetherto be there the whole time.
And by the end of it, I couldstay a whole session of build a
den and have a laugh, and it was.
Just like a nice wee step on the waythat took it, it gave me the confidence
to go to other groups that have, thathelped me to sort of get into volunteering
(27:43):
when I got to do some training.
But then also just building,actually built my self-esteem,
like being able to learn newskills connected to volunteering.
Like last week, me and some ofthe others from the group that
I'm part of, we, we wrote aconstitution for, uh, unincorporated.
Association.
(28:03):
So we're a step further forwardand it feels really good
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (28:07):
possibly to change the subject a little.
But I'm going through a bit ofa health thing at the moment,
which is not for me, for sex.
I've been, I've been referred for a thing,like a evaluation for a thing called RINs
syndrome, where I can't speak properly.
(28:28):
You can hear it in my voice now.
I'm cotton mouth all the time andbasically my saliva glands has stopped
working and I'm getting really worriedbecause obviously I come here every
weekend and I do this and I do in theweek and all that, that sort of thing.
And actually I've been feeling quite.
Anxious about it because the way it is atthe moment is quite difficult to speak.
And by the time I get to the end of theday, my wall, my throat is dry, my mouth
(28:51):
is dry, and it's a syndrome thing, andI'm not gonna be able to get that cured.
And so I'm, I'm actually in alittle bit of a, a turmoil at the
moment as to what I'm gonna bedoing going forward about this.
I've got to go and see a rheumatologistapparently and, uh, get this sorted out.
But it's, yeah, so I'm, I'm, I'm gettinga little bit anxious about my old age now
(29:12):
and what I'm, what it's gonna look like.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (29:16):
Has this just come outta the balloon, Lucy?
See?
And do you have it all the time?
Women, my neighbors suddenly lostour voice and this has had to get
some therapy to try and regain it.
And that was due to a bereavement.
It took about take holdafter the bereavement A at.
(29:38):
She just lost her.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (29:42):
It has come out well, I mean, I, for about two, three
months I've been feeling dry mouthed andthinking, well, that's just how it is at
the moment, and if I just keep drinkingwater and it'll go away, and, you know,
and I was, I was, it was like bottles ofwater all the time and trying to rehydrate
and of late, I started to feelworse so that it's actually stopping
(30:04):
me from breathing properly aswell, because it's making my chest
feel tired and things like that.
So where it stem from.
I have no idea.
I've never heard of this syndrome before.
It's not something that, youknow, everybody knows about.
It was sprung onto me after I had someblood tests and the doctor said, you know,
we need to find out what's going on here.
She also said that I was pre-diabeticas well and all these things,
(30:25):
but that was the one thing that'sreally bad and it's every day
I'm okay and only when I wake up.
By the time I get to lunchtime,it's starting to get bad.
And by this time of the evening,and right now I've got no, my
mouth is as dry as anything, mytongue and my lips and everything.
So it's, it's a real, it's,it's, it's shaken me because
there's no cure for this.
(30:46):
If it's something I have, thenI've had it, have it for good.
And one of the awful things isthat you have to take these.
Really bad little lozenges that basicallywhat they call artificial saliva.
I know that's horrible, but you know,I have to take these every day in
order to make sure that I can speakproperly, which is really annoying
because I do my substack and I talkon that and I talk here and my voice
(31:09):
is something, I use an awful lot andthe thought that I may lose it in
some way is actually quite concerning.
Absolutely frightening to be honest.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (31:20):
It sounds as though there's an accommodation
and a skill that you can learn over aperiod of time to, to cope with this.
You know, these spray things that you putin the saliva things, it's gonna be a hell
of an adjustment, but it sounds as thoughyou're not actually gonna lose your voice.
You're just gonna have to, it's justgonna be a bit more pain in the.
The
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: medication's disgusting. (31:41):
undefined
They're, they're like these tiny littlepills you put into your tongue and
it was meant to sort of make it workagain, but it's, yeah, but it does make
you think, I mean, I'm getting olderso I know things are, are gonna start
dropping off me as I, as I get older.
But it's kind of happenedall very quickly.
It's like, you know, but I'm, I'm ofa certain age obviously, and these
(32:01):
things do happen when you get to my age.
My GP
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com: had cheerfully said to (32:12):
undefined
me.
When I was kind of going througha big crisis, she, he said,
oh, well, you get past this.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: Yeah, I hear you. (32:21):
undefined
I had a lot of mental health and nowit's like the mental health is all okay.
It's all sort of like in a bag and sorted.
And I, I know where I am and Iknow where I, how I can be happy.
But then you go, oh yeah, shit.
Basically now this is happening and Ihave to completely shift my focus from
my brain to my body and, and startwith on a new conquest to get better.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (32:46):
The other thing it does is it pushes us to,
yet again, think about the hereand now, the absolute here and now.
What are you benefiting from today?
And it feels to me that the, themore we push to make sure that this
hour is important and this hour
(33:14):
is part of this day is important.
We, uh, we accumulate the bestpossibility of the positive
experiences to make happiness.
All I know is
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (33:22):
at the moment, it physically hurts to talk.
I mean, it's now to talk.
So, and I would be very cutup if I, I couldn't contribute
in the way I contribute now.
So, um, I, I'm really gonnaput my head down, try and work
at a happy medium somewhere,
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (33:40):
and.
Not feeling physically well,like really debilitating.
Like I think having a lot oflike sensitivities and stuff.
It's, it's really exhausting.
So I really hear you and you know, the,the kind of adjustments and things that
you're kind of facing and the change.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (34:02):
Yeah.
I hear you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (34:11):
So when these things come suddenly the
radical, they can be quite a trial.
And so yeah, feeling that one for you.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (34:20):
Bless.
I'm coming to the end of my, my
voice in a bit as well.
If I feel quiet, you know why it's,anyway, I, I do wanna explain it away
to people because there may be timeswhere I just wanna sit and listen
and I don't feel quite up to it.
You know?
It's this, I, I'm not leaving thisbehind me, just even if I couldn't, I
wanna be here and maybe even just, ifI had the text box, it would be happy.
(34:41):
I'd be happy.
So, yeah, I, I, whatever I will adapt.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Adaptation's a thing. (34:48):
undefined
Yeah.
I think sometimes
the impossible hits us and I thinkwe, we do learn ways to adapt
to these changes, and I think
this space is quite good foraccommodating and adapting to
people's needs that may be.
(35:08):
What you are expressing just nowis a, a general kinda labor and
tiredness about being able toexpress yourself effectively.
So there will be accommodationfor that, I hope.
Yeah.
On another point, what related point?
I was cleaning my windows yesterday.
I got all inspired becauseit was kind of calm and
(35:33):
sunny.
They looked filthy, so Ithought, let's go for it.
And I'm absolutely knackerednow, but there you go.
But that's that kindaknackered ness that is
like, okay, you are not as liveand as young as you used to be, you
just pushed the boat out that littlebit too much, even though at the
time it didn't feel like it was,but the next day, yeah, you get it.
(35:55):
So.
Yeah, just that feeling.
It was like, we used to always say,if we just get outta retirement,
then we could just chill out.
And then we didn't realize that the, we'dbe working as well as we thought it would.
So it's what
Jules was saying about the moment.
It's like, why wait until you're retired?
(36:15):
To chill out.
Just chill out.
Now
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (36:17):
if,
if that's, um, possible.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (36:24):
I am lucky in that, I mean, it's not like
I've got a full-time job or anythinglike that, so I guess that I can, I
mean, this, this comes with a certainamount of tiredness all the time.
'cause I'm really fightingit and it hurts a lot.
And I, I, I fall asleepa lot in the mornings.
I get up and I'm, I'm, I'm on my feetand having a cup of tea and the next
minute I'm like on the sofa again.
So, you know, but I'm, I'm lucky thatI've got the time and space to do that
(36:46):
and that I can rest when I need to.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Tell me about it. (36:52):
undefined
I'm having these naps at tea timejust before my main meal, and every
time I read, I'm out like a light.
And at one point, I thought years ago,about a decade ago when I had the swim flu
vaccine, that there was this rumor goingaround that it gave you an narcolepsy.
And that's
(37:16):
what I thought I had.
I thought I'm suddenly, why is that?
Even my
parents had, so justkeep an eye on things.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (37:28):
Well, pre-diabetes in, and there, my dad
was type two diabetes, so, you know,maybe I'm on that road, but I mean,
I'm, I'm more canny than he was.
But yeah, it's, it's, you do kind ofsuddenly go, oh God, yeah, the, the,
it's gonna be something different fromnow when I do have to kind of make
allowances for my own inability sometimesto actually have the energy to do stuff.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (37:51):
It's almost like becoming someone else, serving
these trials come along to test us.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: Well, it's certainly a new focus. (37:57):
undefined
I guess
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (38:01):
well wish your recent posts were really good.
You don't have to respond.
I'm just saying I enjoyed them.
I'm trying to think ofyou most recent one.
Maybe you can remind me.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (38:15):
So I had the two about the first one, about my,
my engagement and then the wedding.
And the one that I've put up now isjust basically about talking about
how ill I am, believe it or not.
Hey, I mean, that's the thing welike, but it is, it's about, you know,
all the things that come with ageand how it sort of creeps up in you.
And then suddenly one day you lookin the mirror and you are, you
(38:36):
are, you are a different creature.
You are.
I mean, hormonally, I've beenkicked in the ass and it's all
kind of going off at once, likereally, really horrible fireworks.
You know?
It's, it's, it, that's what,that's the last one I did.
So you might not gottenround to that yet, right?
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: No, that was the one in particular. (38:53):
undefined
It's like with the cat weaselpicture, is it Cat Weasel?
Yeah.
And then you were talking about the whitehair that suddenly appeared in your face.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (39:05):
Oh God,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (39:05):
yes.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (39:06):
undefined
Because you get that, you go to sleep,you wake up, you look in the mirror and
you go, Jesus, I wasn't there yesterday.
And you have got like sortof like an extraneous.
Long white hair and you justthink, oh my God, I'm a crone.
You know?
'cause a lot of it was about cloningand the cloning ceremony and then sort
of like trying to guide yourself intoold age in some way so that it's more
gentile and has a nice sort of ring to it.
(39:27):
You know, you, you're steppinginto the next stage as a chrome
and you can have a ceremony for it.
And yeah, I'm thinking that wouldbe, that would be an option, I
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (39:36):
guess.
Cool.
Embodied experience.
Yeah, I can see.
How your words might now be goinginto text, into the writing because
it's a good skill you have there.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (39:48):
Thank you.
I'm blushing.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Don't bear away hair. (39:52):
undefined
I'm just checking on my phone.
'cause I was told my beard's
going gray and 'cause I ginger hair.
It's kinda weird looking.
No.
Self conscious that, anyway, I justfind it quite amusing that, you know,
things get on a little bit and I canremember that someone did say it.
I wanted an actual opinion from someone.
(40:17):
It was actually, it was a while ago,but it was still come coming through
because I was, maybe it's blondeand asked, uh, another volunteer
who I knew was autistic and he's,he was not cheeky, but he was blunt.
He was straight to the point if heasked him a question and he told me,
yeah, you are going grab a wee bit.
So I thought, okay.
You have a wee Marlon streaking
(40:43):
your beard.
Yeah, because he in a big dealer rightoff, uh, he's got darker hair right off.
So it's more visible.
And I thought is that my beard'sgonna go with, I continue to grow a
beard and went, oh yeah, that's it.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (40:58):
So, so mate.
I've got a Manon streak as well, but I'm
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (41:06):
hoping that I don't have a beard at any time soon.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Don't tell me you've (41:11):
undefined
got a call as well.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (41:15):
A what, sorry?
Right.
The the birth call.
You know the
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: skin on that baby's head sometimes. (41:20):
undefined
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (41:24):
Oh, well, like the little, yeah.
Radio cup.
Now with that,
I've got a cow lick though.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (41:32):
It's,
it's great hearing thatphrase well pronounced.
'cause up here it's a, yeah,my life like for cutting hair.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (41:44):
Yeah, mine's all over the place, but
it's, it's like, it's, when I hadreally long hair, it was really bad.
I mean, it was like, like the McDonald'sarches sort of height sort of thing.
And I used to try and flatten itdown, cut it, and do all sorts.
But now I've shaved it off.
You can still see it, butyeah, it's not so obvious now.
But I hated it.
I hated it.
Hated it, hated it.
But my mom had it, andso therefore I did too.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (42:09):
So we don't just evolve these vortexes
of hair and skimming ourbodies from our twisty twist.
I
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (42:21):
can't actually tell you if where heard the
source is from, but there's somethingin the back of my brain that's going,
Nicola, you read about this thing thatsaid autistic people tended to have
cows licks or something like that.
But yeah, I can't even cite mysource, but it's ringing a bell now.
We're all talking about it.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Yeah, you have to watch it. (42:40):
undefined
Hopefully it wasn't social mediabecause of some mad stuff on there.
What was the one I wasreading just recently?
Have you heard about the bisexual chair?
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (42:52):
No.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (42:54):
There's a, a, a, a meme going round on TikTok
about the bisexual neurodivergent chair.
'cause apparently bisexualneurodivergent people can't sit right.
You know, they're always fidgety andthey're, they've been looking, they're
on the hunt for the perfect chair.
You know, the one that cangive them flexibility and.
This is a meme that exists.
No, I, I hear you on some of these memes.
This
(43:17):
was a old book, so like,it's not, it wasn't a meme.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (43:33):
It was like you can't believe everything you
read in books either, but slightlymore credible than the memes.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (43:42):
I
just looked it up for my sins.
So that's me for the evening.
I'm gonna be looking throughthis, what it's all about.
It's bewildering.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (43:52):
I'm sorry if I've turned anybody on.
It's something bizarre.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com: Never nearly done anyway. (43:55):
undefined
I dunno if, um, it's a very small
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (44:01):
sample, but in my neuro divergent household, I feel like
somebody falls off a chair every singleday in our house and it seems to be like a
source of great hilarity, but there's it.
The kids never seem to beable to sit still in a chair.
I'm not the best, but it is.
(44:22):
Maybe there's something in it.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (44:25):
If you think
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: about it, chairs are quite strange. (44:26):
undefined
The set of pieces is actuallya quite difficult thing to do
in many, in many situations.
And don't get me wrong,I can sit down for ages.
Uh, I've done it, but there'sbeen times when I just wanted
to dance about the house.
I just walk about thehouse because I've got an
(44:48):
idea on me because I'm feeling happy.
Or even if I'm feeling sad, it's just likeI can't just sit here, I've gotta move.
And sometimes that kind of movementcan make you fall off a chair,
depending how the chair is.
So they make that a bit of thatin that, or maybe I'm saving.
No, I love that Harry.
Um, I'm sitting herenodding my head madly.
(45:09):
What you're saying is that one of my GPSbelieves that sitting is a new smoking.
Meaning it's a health risk
anyway.
I saw about posture and things like that.
I know I'm really bad at that.
Even, um, the manager and my, andthe kind of saying, you know, kind
of sent away, that's kinda becausethe way I was sitting at the desk,
(45:33):
it was like, that'll hurt your back.
Like, well, I've beentold with that for years.
I'll stop doing.
This is where I put my laptop on anextendable he ing bolt, so as I could
stand up and use it for periods.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com: That's our tired now guys. (45:51):
undefined
I'm going, uh, just pressuh, stop on the recording.
Well, it's 5 44 now, so our drop-inhour is finished, and thank you to all
the people who have texted, and also tothe people who have put their voices to
this that are gonna allow us to put someof those words out into the podcast.
(46:12):
If you join us here at the 4,4, 4, your voice isn't recorded,
your text isn't recorded, but thepeople here have given permission
so that it's an example for others.
See you again.
Always reliably Sunday.
Four four, 4:00 PM Cheers, guys.
Hi there.
Every Sunday a group of autisticpeople get together and drop in.
It's an informal group.
Um, but some of the things thatpeople say deserve a bigger audience,
so they give us permission for usto put them in a an edited reel.
And that's what we are here for today'sedited reel of the conversations
(00:23):
that we have about our own autism.
Cheers, enjoy.
So another week has passed.
I've noticing on the Facebookbecause of things that have gone
on in the United States, the, theposts are actually getting more and
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: more intense (00:32):
undefined
and you know, and rightly so.
So it's actually become a bitmore difficult to share anything.
It's just quite a shamehearing so many people.
Through their posts that arestruggling at the moment.
(00:55):
That was good about it though, justfor conversation sake, is people are
fighting back and people have stillgot that safe space, although the
fuel have been attacked elsewhere.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (01:09):
But here's a safe space I certainly feel.
Today.
I had a lazy day today and I thought,I'm looking forward to tonight.
But that's the fun of it.
Good evening, Nico.
Hello.
Hello everyone.
I was just getting my bitsand pieces all together,
(01:29):
it does seem
very much as though the neurodivergency
concept is really being pulled intothe culture war a lot more than I
probably envisaged at the beginning.
That's, uh, that's quite a difficultsituation for us politically as a group.
(01:54):
Yeah, I'm one done if what's happening.
The United States.
United, if that's whatwe're talking about,
it's more an economic thing,
which then is political.
Yeah.
But of course youmentioned the culture wars.
(02:16):
They are carrying that on.
But I think the root philosophy isthat you've gotta look after yourself.
And I
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (02:28):
think that might be something that needs to be faced.
I'm not a supporter of that, butI'm just trying to figure it out.
I mean, the thing, thefrustration and the fear.
Fear and frustration.
By the way, what I put it is the
United States is
often looked upon becauseof how big it is because of
(02:54):
her.
Its with our own kind of culturein many ways because of its media,
film, books, music.
It's like when you see things thatare happening now and people actually
void for that actually does feela bit concerning about people's
minds out there and how they feel.
To us people, especially people with.
(03:15):
The gender thing was the firstthing to throw at the, you
know, the race thing is what?
It's just like, it's like pure kinda, itfeels like pure hatred against everybody.
That's not.
What people think is the right way to be.
And autism's going toget caught up and now
the neurodivergent movement'sgonna get caught up on that.
And it's, it's just, but the fightingback, and I've seen the fighting back,
(03:40):
but it's quite intense when you seesome of the, the posts and all that.
You, you just, I'm kind ofglad in a way that I'm not, you
know, caught up in that and, um,
but as.
It's
just why can't people just leave peoplealone and if they're not hurting others?
It just really frustrates me.
It just seems bullying on the grandscale and all just because of an ego,
(04:05):
one person or a good group of peoplejust to show that like we could do
something or just basically cause a.
Just to be seen and do something justto cause a RO or just to annoy people.
It's just very, it's just not nice at all.
And obviously the economic thingcomes into always, no matter what,
(04:26):
it doesn't matter who is there.
I mean, even the economicthing is biting hard.
You know, even in Scotland,however, shared posts
regarding pathways and allthat, getting, you know.
Because of funding.
I know that's kind of escalatingto one conversation to another, but
(04:47):
it all ties into, you know, justthe general ill feeling out there.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (04:54):
Yeah, you tied that up quite well, Harry.
Thanks.
I think the way I've seen it gois, is restricted to my awareness
over the last few years, so.
Knowing that I was near a divergentautistic in 2019 and then getting
a diagnosis in 2020, you know, thatgives me five or six years now in
(05:21):
my late fifties into my sixties.
So the information that's around me atthat time means it's quite easy for me to.
Um, start identifying and be quite,you know, happy that that is a
(05:44):
valuable, useful part of everything.
But during that same amount oftime when all of those eyes have
been opened, et cetera, this other
pendulum swing against the idea ofpeople being neurodivergent and.
(06:04):
Accepting difference amongst thepopulation is swinging really tough
at the same time the other direction.
So an awful lot of us have, uh, havestuck our, uh, flags to the mast
and have, you know, put ourselvesabove the field as tall poppies
(06:26):
just at the time when the societiesget very, very white supremacists.
I'm very, very conformist in what is andisn't okay about how humans, um, behave.
I feel
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (06:41):
that this, this feels really connected to something
that's been troubling me a bit this week.
Not troubling me, but working away at me.
And it was hearing, hearing somebodysay, and a few people agree that they.
And having to sort of contend with likecertain parts of me that feel like that
(07:06):
about myself, like and about autism.
What are the things that Ilike about being autistic?
And I've actually, like, I actuallyfound out that I, I found a lot of
fun and I really like, I really find
like joy.
The way that I see the world andthe way that I interact with the
(07:27):
world, but it's taken huge amountsof unmasking that were like,
honestly, pretty quite a traumatizingprocess to go through as well.
So I understand that struggle, butI feel like that the struggle's
kind of worth it because.
I feel that when we can get ourselvesinto a place of like good emotional, good
(07:51):
wellbeing, good mental head space, andlike getting to engage, like, you know,
engage with other autistic people or like.
Um, ashamedly
engage in our passions, things like that.
I just feel that we get to showthe difference between like really
traumatized and excluded autismand healthy, thriving, um, autism.
(08:16):
And so I, I don't know.
I feel like I've just come offsocial media and I'm just focusing
on like the work that trying to doto connect with other people, because
I'll think otherwise if I face offall these bullies that aren't even
actually in my life, they're my
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (08:40):
phone.
Identity.
I don't,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: I'm, I'm just wondering how (08:43):
undefined
much that is under threat.
We, we find that identity and confirmit and, you know, live out our lives.
I think what's happening is people justdon't want to support it economically
and maybe even culturally, but
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (09:06):
I don't.
Kinda repression.
I think it's more bunch
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: of friends, your identity, (09:11):
undefined
then you'll have to
find your own way.
I don't know, it's kinda complex forme 'cause I'm thinking back on a lot of
things before I identified, as Joe puts it
and I'm thinking, you know, Icould be running about now letting
this company use my car to getme to deliver parcels to people.
(09:36):
As a job option, because that'sthe way I was looking at life was
like, I've gotta somehow fit in.
I've gotta somehow earn my trust.
What can I do?
What skills do I have forthem for that society?
Identification and identity has givenme this other thing now, which is okay.
(09:58):
All that crazy weird stuff that Ireally, truly believed in and was me.
I was hiding.
It is me.
And so just go for that.
Relax.
Now do it.
So I somehow have to find a way ofmaking that work and work with others
and find others to make that work.
(10:19):
'cause you can't do itall on your own really.
But you can do a certain amount.
So, so it's just something I,that I keep thinking about other
groups that have had a hard time.
Know, like before they were legalized, saylike homosexuals and that culture and how
(10:39):
kind of prominent, what words can I use?
How
integrated to a certain extent thatsociety is that part of our culture.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (10:52):
It's economically powerful, it's culturally powerful.
It just had
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (10:58):
to.
Stand up for itself to certain extent,and I'm not saying people in the
autistic neurodivergent communityaren't standing up for themselves.
I think the big debate is economic.
They just don't want to give us anydollars or pounds or special treatment.
(11:19):
But I maybe total misreading that andI'd like to hear it from anyone if I.
I look at.
I've been through a journey in termsof the autism thing and because I was
diagnosed medically and it was througha health crisis, as I've mentioned
before, and it was called AspergerSyndrome at the time and back 1998,
(11:44):
and I was 17 and I'm now nearly 44.
And there was a time where I was reallyannoyed at the injustice of having this
condition and not being so called normaland how some things are so difficult to
(12:04):
do and how communicating appear to be sodifficult to, to process conversations,
doing things like.
Like shopping and doing thingslike paying bills, you know,
doing the general life thing.
(12:25):
But in time, I've felt
to to love myself.
I grew to love myself andrespect myself in a grand way.
A powerful way that if anybodydares to try and put me
down, I'll say, no bar.
That's going to grind me down becausethey feel hatred in their heart or they,
(12:45):
they've got a limited scope in how theyfeel things should be, and then they
try to kind of give everybody else tofit any of this sort of, can I box just
to suit their agenda, whether it beeconomical or whether they think it,
you know, religiously, spiritually, or
whatever.
To knock people down for who theyare for the sake of one person's
(13:09):
agenda or a certain agenda.
Created by limited number of people isvery frustrating and I'll never do it.
But there's so many people that haveworked so hard to get to where they
are, and because of the power of socialmedia, as we know, a lot of is positive.
Look, a lot of isnegative, and people just
Jules-AutisticRadio.com: put comments on everything. (13:35):
undefined
You know, one example is a shared, uh,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (13:43):
post regarding, plus, you know, this is
through the local council, and this isjust about a survey and the comments,
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (13:55):
what the first comment was a, it was basically
a cartoon of someone vomiting.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (14:00):
Now that can be used for someone who
says autism or something different.
And I was really angry at that iswhy does someone have to put that?
They did not have to do that.
They not need comment, evenif they feel a certain way.
And I think people just get this habitof just saying, well, they're thinking
without actually the full thought beingthrough and the reasoning being through.
(14:23):
People have hatred in the how it feels.
Well, a lot of peoplejust kind of put hatred
comments without thinking aboutthem and realizing the consequence.
So it's, it's a minefield out there.
And the reason why a lot of people whoused to use social media no longer do,
or if they do, do is not limited scale.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (14:42):
I just wanted to quickly say Harry, like sometimes when
people put those, their opinions out therelike that, I'm sometimes a bit grateful
'cause I'm like, I'll avoid you now.
But it also is, it's spread in hatredas well, and it's, it's kind of, it,
it does feel like it's, it's horribleto see, but I do actually, I prefer to
(15:02):
see a comment than get involved withsomebody and be harmed like directly too.
So.
It reflects on
them.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (15:12):
In my case, I think I'm almost a bit Teflon.
I really don't care.
I mean, you know, I, I don't reallyget a lot of bad comments and I'm,
I carefully curate my social mediato make sure that there's nothing in
there that's gonna creep up on me.
And if anything did, they'd just go.
I think because I've gotquite a hard shell anyway.
(15:32):
I think I have, I've got a reallyhard shell, so things tend to
bounce off me a little bit more.
Sorry about that.
It's the weather coming in.
But yeah, I, it tends to bounce off mea little bit and he always has done, I
mean, before I was diagnosed and I wasat school, I. I was bullied or people
tried to bully me and I wouldn't let them.
I just used to walk away from them.
(15:52):
So I, I'm not, I, I've got quite athick skin and I don't know why or
where I think I know where I got itfrom, but, you know, it's, it's strange.
I, I'm just, I'm care.
I'm, I'm pretty much, I, I'mout there and I do it and I
don't really get much comment.
And so maybe I'm a little bit sheltered.
I dunno.
It
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: coordinate me so far from everyone, (16:15):
undefined
you know, especially listen,Nicola just kind of spoken.
It's just showed the inspirationagainst that sort of grind,
you know, against that sort of.
Negativity out there.
It's like ways of dealing with it.
Either well look at, if you seesomeone making a comment, it's
like, avoid that person from my own.
(16:36):
Or you just, you know,just look, I don't care.
I am what I am.
I don't like me.
I don't care if you don't like me.
There's nothing wrong.
You know, this is me.
I'm taking from it.
And that's a very inspirational tohear, you know, even from my position.
And a lot of people will be so inspiredby that because there'll be so many people
that feel, you know, really knocked down.
(16:59):
So it's good to hear comments like that.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (17:04):
I would definitely say that this attitude
serves me better as like a woman in myforties than it did when I was younger.
I think life can be a lot harder on youat different times in your life or demand
more of you or test you in different ways.
So it's sometimes justlike toughen it out.
Isn't, hasn't like beenenough and I think.
(17:30):
Kinda lost my way before is by justbecoming really isolated and now I really
value like diverse, a diversity of like
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: connections in my life. (17:38):
undefined
I'm a one man band.
I always have been.
I always will be, and it's fine.
And honestly speaking, now I'm of anage where, I mean, I'm pretty settled.
I'm married, I've got my own place.
We live here.
Everything's all right, everything's allright, everything's fine in my world.
And so.
(18:00):
I don't have to prove anything to anybody.
I think when I was a teenager, when Iwas in my twenties and thirties, I tried
really hard to fit in and do things and,and become what the, what everybody else
was doing and get in sync with the world.
But now I'm outta sync with the worldand it's actually not a bad place to be.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Yeah, I get that. (18:16):
undefined
You know, I've had that myself like.
I felt at one time I had to provemyself to society because of
the working class guilt I had.
Because I didn't have employment.
I still don't have that much employment.
You know, in my history.
It's a lot of kind of voluntary jobs andall that, but the way I look at it now and
(18:40):
the way I've looked at it for a long timeas I've been working the community for 25
years.
You know, respect, respect.
I'm comfortable with who I am andbeing, obviously there's good days
and bad days with everyone else.
(19:01):
I live a, my own home.
I've been in own, the house I'm in.
It was the first house I moved down toafter like my parents, so when I've been
here for about two, four years almost.
So son off
area.
Les, I've been fine and I'm involvedin the local tennis and resident
association for the last 10 yearsI've been involved in so many
different things within the community.
(19:23):
So even though I'm not always out andabout talking to everybody, but I feel I'm
part of something and part of somethingthat suits me as well as others and.
It just shows you these things
can work if you, you find a way to letthings suit you and you be comfortable
with it, and I know that's a lot.
It's a difficult kind of processin journey to go through.
I just look that as
(19:48):
life, don't get me wrong, Ihaven't get thick skin, every
criticism I get, even if it's a wayrecommendation, I always gotta be Joel.
It depends how it said.
Even if it's said gently,it's not as bad course.
How did I make that mistake?
And then can I go over me
wee bit?
But it's just the way I'm,and it helps me improve things
(20:08):
anyway, so it's all good really.
But, but I know what you're saying there.
It's just you get to a positionwhere settled fine, and you don't
have to prove yourself, you know,you can set yourself challenges.
Well, I set myself challenges, but it's.
To myself about
(20:30):
things I can do.
Like I did the thing because I thought Icould never work in a shop, but terms I
could, I didn't really like it in termsof the environment, nothing normal.
The environment really, itwas just noisy and just not
for me, but at least I did it.
I tried it, I did it.
I did it for four years and I wasproud of myself for doing that.
So it's little things like that.
I like to challenge myself.
Every now and again thatincludes speaking on radio.
I relate quite a lot to the,like the volunteering thing.
That's
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (20:56):
how
I get most of like my connectionand I like how it's, I like how it's
kind of structured introduction.
I'm trying to kind of be a wee bit moreopen to friendship, but I'm just like,
how long for, how long are we here for?
Quite the rules.
(21:17):
So I definitely find likevolunteering helps me out quite a lot.
And what you were saying about challengingyourself, like I feel like, um, I was
thinking about this earlier and how Ifeel like, I don't know if it's a general
autistic thing, but being able to kindof get yourself to do, to be able to
do most things like systematically.
(21:41):
I like, I look back and I'm like,I don't know how well integrated
my system sometimes are, ifthat makes any sense at all.
I got lost at the end there,but yeah, the first part about
volunteering and connection,
the
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: thing about volunteering (21:56):
undefined
was quite strange because ithappened by accident, I suppose.
A lot of things do.
People plan things, but the way thingsfall into place is always like an accident
or an opportunity to just sponsor surfing.
And it was like 25
years ago, nearly.
Well, so we by away now, the, theanniversary is October, but it
(22:18):
was like, I was on the, I usedto go to these social groups,
you know, for a spell to get me outtathe house basically, and sit with people.
It was basically these social groups.
From, basically it was mental health.
It was like NHS provided the NHS and localcouncil provided kind of jointly, you
(22:40):
know, in the church hall or somewhere.
Just basically somewherewas a we room where
people can go in and it's a drop in.
Just would be a, you know, between,you know, a two hour to a three or
four hour period, depending what
day it was.
And I can remember, used to go toone on a Tuesday and a Saturday.
It was a Tuesday when, wheresomeone was talking about
(23:02):
a mental health forum and I had noidea what they were talking about,
but getting invited to a meetingand then it just turned out to be
an a GM, an annual general meeting.
And then I got, I didn't resist enough.
I got, I got voted in thecommittee, and then it just started.
(23:23):
I was going to these meetings andpeople were talking about, it was
basically about mental health servicesand how they could be better provided
for people who use the services andobviously people who care for people
who use the the mental health servicesand I. There were so many meetings.
I'm going, what am I doing here?
This is born, but within three or fouryears, I was one of the, the office
(23:45):
mayors, and then I ended up becoming thechairman before moving on to other things.
It's just, it's, it's amazing howjourneys come into play, and I think
it's because the way that committeesare structured and the way that you can
actually structure to suit yourself,like the chairperson before me.
Came in about five minutesbefore the meeting and then
shared the meeting then at home.
(24:06):
But what I to do was Icome in two hours early.
We had an an office, the secretary setup the meeting and have a chat, you know,
during that coffee and then have a sort.
Sort a kind of calm down period orwe to call it the bitching period
because of the, the meeting areusually quite intense, you know, public
meetings sometimes because uh, it wasprobably people coming in and it was
health boards and there was a lot ofintense and really difficult topics
and we just sat and had a coffee and.
Talking about the meeting andhow, you know, how tough it was.
And then, you know, this sort of kindcalming down period before I've been home.
And obviously we were kind of supportingeach other, myself and the secretary at
(24:50):
the time where everybody else went home.
And, um, that's when I felt, well, Icouldn't really do this and other things.
And I, I do it to this day.
No, it was a chairperson, but just beingpart of a committee, a board, a set up,
you know, where there's structure inplace and timetable in place because
(25:10):
you schedule meetings, et cetera.
And above all.
The reason you're doing it for, tohelp things make things a bit better,
not medicals, of course not, butbeing things a bit better, being a
pressure group, that sort of thing.
And it's personally, you get up in themorning and things are bit doom and gloom.
You think, well, I'm goingsomewhere and I'm going to
(25:31):
make something a be bit better.
Maybe even, you know, that thing Ialways say about if, if at least one
person is benefits in a positive wayfrom my actions, it's worth doing.
Something to get bed for.
It's just so I'm kind of rambling about.
All these memories are allflooding back in, but that's
my story and a shorten version.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (25:55):
Because I can really relate to that anyway.
'cause, you know, I do a lot of thisstuff and I find that most of the, the
idea of socialization and friendship isactually better suited for me when I'm
doing something that's actually, youknow, a project or something that I'm,
I'm, I'm kind of committing myself to.
So, I mean, I don't like going outfor a cup of coffee and having to
do small talk, small talk for anhour, but I, I really enjoy meeting
(26:18):
up with other people for the.
A sort of laid out discussionwhere I can go there and, and, and
say my piece and feel like I'vecontributed, and then I come home
and I go, I can think about that.
And it's nice to do that.
And I find it much more rewardingpersonally than having a, a group
of friends that I go out and justdo nothing with and then just
wander home from, you know, I, I,I feel an agenda and a timetable is
(26:43):
something that I really benefit from.
And it helps me to exercise the outdoorspart of me and so I can go home and
feel like, you know, settled and happywith what I've done with my time.
I got into
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com: volunteering and stuff through mental (26:57):
undefined
health groups and stuff as well.
I was just thinking about one of thefirst ones that I was part of, and it was
a 12 week kind nature one that they, itwas, it had NHS funding, so it was free.
We were doing things like buildingdens and with sticks and branches
(27:19):
that I just had such a good time.
I remember really going from likeat the very beginning, couldn't
just, couldn't hold it togetherto be there the whole time.
And by the end of it, I couldstay a whole session of build a
den and have a laugh, and it was.
Just like a nice wee step on the waythat took it, it gave me the confidence
to go to other groups that have, thathelped me to sort of get into volunteering
(27:43):
when I got to do some training.
But then also just building,actually built my self-esteem,
like being able to learn newskills connected to volunteering.
Like last week, me and some ofthe others from the group that
I'm part of, we, we wrote aconstitution for, uh, unincorporated.
Association.
(28:03):
So we're a step further forwardand it feels really good
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (28:07):
possibly to change the subject a little.
But I'm going through a bit ofa health thing at the moment,
which is not for me, for sex.
I've been, I've been referred for a thing,like a evaluation for a thing called RINs
syndrome, where I can't speak properly.
(28:28):
You can hear it in my voice now.
I'm cotton mouth all the time andbasically my saliva glands has stopped
working and I'm getting really worriedbecause obviously I come here every
weekend and I do this and I do in theweek and all that, that sort of thing.
And actually I've been feeling quite.
Anxious about it because the way it is atthe moment is quite difficult to speak.
And by the time I get to the end of theday, my wall, my throat is dry, my mouth
(28:51):
is dry, and it's a syndrome thing, andI'm not gonna be able to get that cured.
And so I'm, I'm actually in alittle bit of a, a turmoil at the
moment as to what I'm gonna bedoing going forward about this.
I've got to go and see a rheumatologistapparently and, uh, get this sorted out.
But it's, yeah, so I'm, I'm, I'm gettinga little bit anxious about my old age now
(29:12):
and what I'm, what it's gonna look like.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (29:16):
Has this just come outta the balloon, Lucy?
See?
And do you have it all the time?
Women, my neighbors suddenly lostour voice and this has had to get
some therapy to try and regain it.
And that was due to a bereavement.
It took about take holdafter the bereavement A at.
(29:38):
She just lost her.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (29:42):
It has come out well, I mean, I, for about two, three
months I've been feeling dry mouthed andthinking, well, that's just how it is at
the moment, and if I just keep drinkingwater and it'll go away, and, you know,
and I was, I was, it was like bottles ofwater all the time and trying to rehydrate
and of late, I started to feelworse so that it's actually stopping
(30:04):
me from breathing properly aswell, because it's making my chest
feel tired and things like that.
So where it stem from.
I have no idea.
I've never heard of this syndrome before.
It's not something that, youknow, everybody knows about.
It was sprung onto me after I had someblood tests and the doctor said, you know,
we need to find out what's going on here.
She also said that I was pre-diabeticas well and all these things,
(30:25):
but that was the one thing that'sreally bad and it's every day
I'm okay and only when I wake up.
By the time I get to lunchtime,it's starting to get bad.
And by this time of the evening,and right now I've got no, my
mouth is as dry as anything, mytongue and my lips and everything.
So it's, it's a real, it's,it's, it's shaken me because
there's no cure for this.
(30:46):
If it's something I have, thenI've had it, have it for good.
And one of the awful things isthat you have to take these.
Really bad little lozenges that basicallywhat they call artificial saliva.
I know that's horrible, but you know,I have to take these every day in
order to make sure that I can speakproperly, which is really annoying
because I do my substack and I talkon that and I talk here and my voice
(31:09):
is something, I use an awful lot andthe thought that I may lose it in
some way is actually quite concerning.
Absolutely frightening to be honest.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (31:20):
It sounds as though there's an accommodation
and a skill that you can learn over aperiod of time to, to cope with this.
You know, these spray things that you putin the saliva things, it's gonna be a hell
of an adjustment, but it sounds as thoughyou're not actually gonna lose your voice.
You're just gonna have to, it's justgonna be a bit more pain in the.
The
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: medication's disgusting. (31:41):
undefined
They're, they're like these tiny littlepills you put into your tongue and
it was meant to sort of make it workagain, but it's, yeah, but it does make
you think, I mean, I'm getting olderso I know things are, are gonna start
dropping off me as I, as I get older.
But it's kind of happenedall very quickly.
It's like, you know, but I'm, I'm ofa certain age obviously, and these
(32:01):
things do happen when you get to my age.
My GP
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com: had cheerfully said to (32:12):
undefined
me.
When I was kind of going througha big crisis, she, he said,
oh, well, you get past this.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: Yeah, I hear you. (32:21):
undefined
I had a lot of mental health and nowit's like the mental health is all okay.
It's all sort of like in a bag and sorted.
And I, I know where I am and Iknow where I, how I can be happy.
But then you go, oh yeah, shit.
Basically now this is happening and Ihave to completely shift my focus from
my brain to my body and, and startwith on a new conquest to get better.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (32:46):
The other thing it does is it pushes us to,
yet again, think about the hereand now, the absolute here and now.
What are you benefiting from today?
And it feels to me that the, themore we push to make sure that this
hour is important and this hour
(33:14):
is part of this day is important.
We, uh, we accumulate the bestpossibility of the positive
experiences to make happiness.
All I know is
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (33:22):
at the moment, it physically hurts to talk.
I mean, it's now to talk.
So, and I would be very cutup if I, I couldn't contribute
in the way I contribute now.
So, um, I, I'm really gonnaput my head down, try and work
at a happy medium somewhere,
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (33:40):
and.
Not feeling physically well,like really debilitating.
Like I think having a lot oflike sensitivities and stuff.
It's, it's really exhausting.
So I really hear you and you know, the,the kind of adjustments and things that
you're kind of facing and the change.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (34:02):
Yeah.
I hear you.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (34:11):
So when these things come suddenly the
radical, they can be quite a trial.
And so yeah, feeling that one for you.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (34:20):
Bless.
I'm coming to the end of my, my
voice in a bit as well.
If I feel quiet, you know why it's,anyway, I, I do wanna explain it away
to people because there may be timeswhere I just wanna sit and listen
and I don't feel quite up to it.
You know?
It's this, I, I'm not leaving thisbehind me, just even if I couldn't, I
wanna be here and maybe even just, ifI had the text box, it would be happy.
(34:41):
I'd be happy.
So, yeah, I, I, whatever I will adapt.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Adaptation's a thing. (34:48):
undefined
Yeah.
I think sometimes
the impossible hits us and I thinkwe, we do learn ways to adapt
to these changes, and I think
this space is quite good foraccommodating and adapting to
people's needs that may be.
(35:08):
What you are expressing just nowis a, a general kinda labor and
tiredness about being able toexpress yourself effectively.
So there will be accommodationfor that, I hope.
Yeah.
On another point, what related point?
I was cleaning my windows yesterday.
I got all inspired becauseit was kind of calm and
(35:33):
sunny.
They looked filthy, so Ithought, let's go for it.
And I'm absolutely knackerednow, but there you go.
But that's that kindaknackered ness that is
like, okay, you are not as liveand as young as you used to be, you
just pushed the boat out that littlebit too much, even though at the
time it didn't feel like it was,but the next day, yeah, you get it.
(35:55):
So.
Yeah, just that feeling.
It was like, we used to always say,if we just get outta retirement,
then we could just chill out.
And then we didn't realize that the, we'dbe working as well as we thought it would.
So it's what
Jules was saying about the moment.
It's like, why wait until you're retired?
(36:15):
To chill out.
Just chill out.
Now
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (36:17):
if,
if that's, um, possible.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (36:24):
I am lucky in that, I mean, it's not like
I've got a full-time job or anythinglike that, so I guess that I can, I
mean, this, this comes with a certainamount of tiredness all the time.
'cause I'm really fightingit and it hurts a lot.
And I, I, I fall asleepa lot in the mornings.
I get up and I'm, I'm, I'm on my feetand having a cup of tea and the next
minute I'm like on the sofa again.
So, you know, but I'm, I'm lucky thatI've got the time and space to do that
(36:46):
and that I can rest when I need to.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Tell me about it. (36:52):
undefined
I'm having these naps at tea timejust before my main meal, and every
time I read, I'm out like a light.
And at one point, I thought years ago,about a decade ago when I had the swim flu
vaccine, that there was this rumor goingaround that it gave you an narcolepsy.
And that's
(37:16):
what I thought I had.
I thought I'm suddenly, why is that?
Even my
parents had, so justkeep an eye on things.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (37:28):
Well, pre-diabetes in, and there, my dad
was type two diabetes, so, you know,maybe I'm on that road, but I mean,
I'm, I'm more canny than he was.
But yeah, it's, it's, you do kind ofsuddenly go, oh God, yeah, the, the,
it's gonna be something different fromnow when I do have to kind of make
allowances for my own inability sometimesto actually have the energy to do stuff.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (37:51):
It's almost like becoming someone else, serving
these trials come along to test us.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: Well, it's certainly a new focus. (37:57):
undefined
I guess
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (38:01):
well wish your recent posts were really good.
You don't have to respond.
I'm just saying I enjoyed them.
I'm trying to think ofyou most recent one.
Maybe you can remind me.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (38:15):
So I had the two about the first one, about my,
my engagement and then the wedding.
And the one that I've put up now isjust basically about talking about
how ill I am, believe it or not.
Hey, I mean, that's the thing welike, but it is, it's about, you know,
all the things that come with ageand how it sort of creeps up in you.
And then suddenly one day you lookin the mirror and you are, you
(38:36):
are, you are a different creature.
You are.
I mean, hormonally, I've beenkicked in the ass and it's all
kind of going off at once, likereally, really horrible fireworks.
You know?
It's, it's, it, that's what,that's the last one I did.
So you might not gottenround to that yet, right?
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: No, that was the one in particular. (38:53):
undefined
It's like with the cat weaselpicture, is it Cat Weasel?
Yeah.
And then you were talking about the whitehair that suddenly appeared in your face.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (39:05):
Oh God,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (39:05):
yes.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (39:06):
undefined
Because you get that, you go to sleep,you wake up, you look in the mirror and
you go, Jesus, I wasn't there yesterday.
And you have got like sortof like an extraneous.
Long white hair and you justthink, oh my God, I'm a crone.
You know?
'cause a lot of it was about cloningand the cloning ceremony and then sort
of like trying to guide yourself intoold age in some way so that it's more
gentile and has a nice sort of ring to it.
(39:27):
You know, you, you're steppinginto the next stage as a chrome
and you can have a ceremony for it.
And yeah, I'm thinking that wouldbe, that would be an option, I
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (39:36):
guess.
Cool.
Embodied experience.
Yeah, I can see.
How your words might now be goinginto text, into the writing because
it's a good skill you have there.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (39:48):
Thank you.
I'm blushing.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Don't bear away hair. (39:52):
undefined
I'm just checking on my phone.
'cause I was told my beard's
going gray and 'cause I ginger hair.
It's kinda weird looking.
No.
Self conscious that, anyway, I justfind it quite amusing that, you know,
things get on a little bit and I canremember that someone did say it.
I wanted an actual opinion from someone.
(40:17):
It was actually, it was a while ago,but it was still come coming through
because I was, maybe it's blondeand asked, uh, another volunteer
who I knew was autistic and he's,he was not cheeky, but he was blunt.
He was straight to the point if heasked him a question and he told me,
yeah, you are going grab a wee bit.
So I thought, okay.
You have a wee Marlon streaking
(40:43):
your beard.
Yeah, because he in a big dealer rightoff, uh, he's got darker hair right off.
So it's more visible.
And I thought is that my beard'sgonna go with, I continue to grow a
beard and went, oh yeah, that's it.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (40:58):
So, so mate.
I've got a Manon streak as well, but I'm
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (41:06):
hoping that I don't have a beard at any time soon.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Don't tell me you've (41:11):
undefined
got a call as well.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (41:15):
A what, sorry?
Right.
The the birth call.
You know the
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: skin on that baby's head sometimes. (41:20):
undefined
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (41:24):
Oh, well, like the little, yeah.
Radio cup.
Now with that,
I've got a cow lick though.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (41:32):
It's,
it's great hearing thatphrase well pronounced.
'cause up here it's a, yeah,my life like for cutting hair.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (41:44):
Yeah, mine's all over the place, but
it's, it's like, it's, when I hadreally long hair, it was really bad.
I mean, it was like, like the McDonald'sarches sort of height sort of thing.
And I used to try and flatten itdown, cut it, and do all sorts.
But now I've shaved it off.
You can still see it, butyeah, it's not so obvious now.
But I hated it.
I hated it.
Hated it, hated it.
But my mom had it, andso therefore I did too.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (42:09):
So we don't just evolve these vortexes
of hair and skimming ourbodies from our twisty twist.
I
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (42:21):
can't actually tell you if where heard the
source is from, but there's somethingin the back of my brain that's going,
Nicola, you read about this thing thatsaid autistic people tended to have
cows licks or something like that.
But yeah, I can't even cite mysource, but it's ringing a bell now.
We're all talking about it.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Yeah, you have to watch it. (42:40):
undefined
Hopefully it wasn't social mediabecause of some mad stuff on there.
What was the one I wasreading just recently?
Have you heard about the bisexual chair?
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (42:52):
No.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (42:54):
There's a, a, a, a meme going round on TikTok
about the bisexual neurodivergent chair.
'cause apparently bisexualneurodivergent people can't sit right.
You know, they're always fidgety andthey're, they've been looking, they're
on the hunt for the perfect chair.
You know, the one that cangive them flexibility and.
This is a meme that exists.
No, I, I hear you on some of these memes.
This
(43:17):
was a old book, so like,it's not, it wasn't a meme.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (43:33):
It was like you can't believe everything you
read in books either, but slightlymore credible than the memes.
Lucy-Dawson-Autie-Unmasked (43:42):
I
just looked it up for my sins.
So that's me for the evening.
I'm gonna be looking throughthis, what it's all about.
It's bewildering.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (43:52):
I'm sorry if I've turned anybody on.
It's something bizarre.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com: Never nearly done anyway. (43:55):
undefined
I dunno if, um, it's a very small
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (44:01):
sample, but in my neuro divergent household, I feel like
somebody falls off a chair every singleday in our house and it seems to be like a
source of great hilarity, but there's it.
The kids never seem to beable to sit still in a chair.
I'm not the best, but it is.
(44:22):
Maybe there's something in it.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (44:25):
If you think
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: about it, chairs are quite strange. (44:26):
undefined
The set of pieces is actuallya quite difficult thing to do
in many, in many situations.
And don't get me wrong,I can sit down for ages.
Uh, I've done it, but there'sbeen times when I just wanted
to dance about the house.
I just walk about thehouse because I've got an
(44:48):
idea on me because I'm feeling happy.
Or even if I'm feeling sad, it's just likeI can't just sit here, I've gotta move.
And sometimes that kind of movementcan make you fall off a chair,
depending how the chair is.
So they make that a bit of thatin that, or maybe I'm saving.
No, I love that Harry.
Um, I'm sitting herenodding my head madly.
(45:09):
What you're saying is that one of my GPSbelieves that sitting is a new smoking.
Meaning it's a health risk
anyway.
I saw about posture and things like that.
I know I'm really bad at that.
Even, um, the manager and my, andthe kind of saying, you know, kind
of sent away, that's kinda becausethe way I was sitting at the desk,
(45:33):
it was like, that'll hurt your back.
Like, well, I've beentold with that for years.
I'll stop doing.
This is where I put my laptop on anextendable he ing bolt, so as I could
stand up and use it for periods.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com: That's our tired now guys. (45:51):
undefined
I'm going, uh, just pressuh, stop on the recording.
Well, it's 5 44 now, so our drop-inhour is finished, and thank you to all
the people who have texted, and also tothe people who have put their voices to
this that are gonna allow us to put someof those words out into the podcast.
(46:12):
If you join us here at the 4,4, 4, your voice isn't recorded,
your text isn't recorded, but thepeople here have given permission
so that it's an example for others.
See you again.
Always reliably Sunday.
Four four, 4:00 PM Cheers, guys.
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