April 8, 2025 • 40 mins
***NEW PODCAST****
Spectrum Voices Conversation presents "Harry's Facebook - 23rd February 2025".
Facebook post sharing and discussion with contributions from:
The Autistic Teacher
Autism Discussion Page
Retrophilliac
Leeds Autism Services
Scottish Ethnic Minority Autistics CIC
Rachael Boast
Embrace Autism
Recorded on Sunday 23rd February 2025.
Podcast runtime - 38 minutes.
----
#ToriAmos
#AutisticBrain
#Ovewhelm
#Meltdown
#AutisticCharity
#Inclusion
#Hobbies
#Community
#AutisticParent
#Poetry
#Neurodivergent
#Autistic Masking
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(00:03):
We speak our words, we listen,we speak our words, we listen.
We speak our words.
We listen.
We speak our words.
We listen.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Good evening everyone. (00:18):
undefined
This is Harry's Facebook for Sunday,the 23rd of February, 2025, and the
first post is from the autistic teacher.
A public figure, autistic and proudsharing insight and understanding to help
the autistic community based in the uk.
(00:40):
And she shared a quote frommusician and singer, Tori Amos.
And what it says is, some of themost wonderful people are the
ones who don't fit into boxes.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (00:52):
I agree that people don't fit into boxes.
Like it's just, I don'tthink any people do.
I think everybody's got is quiteinteresting in their own way.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: I have found. (01:02):
undefined
The most inspiring peopleand friends that I've met.
It doesn't always have to be autism.
It's like people that arequirky characters and they don't
fit into the so-called norm.
And I'm talking about school,I'm talking about adulthood,
you know, all over the place.
It's just like, not rebels as such,but people that just do things
(01:23):
differently to what you expect and don't.
Society seems to demandpeople and I like that.
And they're not doing it forthe sake of being all, or
they're just being themselves.
And that sort of inspires it, inspires me.
It's like, all right, okay, I like that.
(01:46):
In school, in high school anyway, weused to hang about with our, , friends.
We used it called The Squares, and I thinkthat's because we wore glasses and because
we were the people that called us Squareswas people that there was always these
sort of kind of stereotypes that rememberthese kind of group of boys who thought
(02:08):
they were Mr. Handsomes and look at me,you know, play football and all that.
I thought, look, youknow, that sort of thing.
And there was other ones thatwere in any kinda groups of gangs.
Like to have a fight with peoplefor other areas and all that.
And I thought, and then I went to uponus that we were strange, we were misfits.
We didn't cause too manyhassle in the class.
(02:31):
And don't get me wrong, mybehavior wasn't always great.
It's that sort of kinda group of peoplethat I'm always feeling comfortable in.
I can remember like kind had a reunionat one of my old school friends
weddings, a couple of years ago.
Well, it's about longer thanthat, but it's, let's saying like,
I remember you, you were nuts.
And I was not insulted by that.
It was just like the character Iwas and it just that comforting sort
(02:54):
of not fitting in the box and beingin that group of people that don't
fit in the box as very comfortingand even it feels safe as well.
Jules (03:04):
That's kind of odd really, isn't it?
Because you're looking back on awhole life and you're thinking right
back to school all this way along.
There's been a pride in the idea thatyou don't fit in that, when the other
people say, are you with a bad one?
Or you with a. You know, you were theperson who was more extreme, did it more,
(03:31):
and there's a kind of pride in that.
So there's definitely a group of us whohaving been challenged with the idea of
not fitting in made it very much part oftheir whole adolescence growing up even.
Right into their adulthood now.
(03:52):
Of their psyche not to be exactly thesame, not to be the people who fit
in, to be the quirky ones, and to bepart of the freaks ofand oddbas and
circus folk and carnival people, andpeople with weird nod backgrounds.
There's a pride in it, isn't there?
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (04:11):
I dunno, I feel a wee bit different about this sort of
weird pride thing, I've been called weird.
A lot throughout my life andthere was times in my thirties I
remember people being, well, youjust stopped trying to be weird.
And I wasn't trying, I didn't want to be.
And , the sort of sore thumbexperience of just feeling
like a sore thumb in the world.
(04:34):
So the kind of pride in not fittingin, it's a bit more ambivalent for me.
I feel like in a quite a good placewith it now, but like I definitely
went to the extreme, in my teens oflike early twenties maybe, of like
quite extreme styles almost to sort oflike, I'd rather people criticize my
appearance than my character I suppose.
(04:55):
So like it was really punk, reallygoth, kind of like give me kind
of social armor I would say.
Now, like I still find it ifsomebody is like, oh, you're weird.
Like I just find that, so I'm like,you're so strange to say that.
Like I just think that's such anodd thing to say to somebody now.
(05:16):
Yeah.
So that's how I feel about that.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (05:19):
Do people often say, you're weird, Nicola?
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (05:22):
Not so much now, but , I would have friends who
would sort of say it and I would likekind of hold in how much it hurt, it
followed me throughout my life until Istarted to have healthy boundaries, I
would say, where I don't really nurture.
Relationships now with peoplewho make me feel less than.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (05:43):
Yeah.
I think that's a trust issue.
I think as you grow older andyou learn to figure out who
you can trust to be close to
Jules (05:52):
it's really different
if you are part of the female,part of the population is a much
tougher thing to be dealing with.
There are, you know, versions ofmasculinity that go okay with weird,
but there are very few role modelsthat go with weird for women, it
(06:15):
really is , a situation of thesectors being treated entirely.
I was identifying with the odd crowd,with the outsiders, the whole of my life.
, it doesn't feel as though I lost anything.
It was an easy thing for me to do, butfor women, that would be an entirely
(06:37):
different situation, I'm guessing.
And in the background, we've gotsomebody commenting and saying.
I totally agree with you there aboutrelate boundaries in relationships.
Nicola.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (06:53):
Yeah, I've just spotted that there.
It's been a real journey learningthat I really needed , the manual
and yeah, I would say about being.
Branded a weird woman.
There definitely feels like there'ssome aspect of me like relates to
that the women who are like burnedas witches for being like weird.
(07:18):
And I think like that my experience as akid was people wanting to be my friends
because we had a good time together.
Like, I think I was quite a nice,like person to play with, but,
'cause I was a bit different.
I would get dropped in public 'cause youcouldn't be seen as a friend to this one.
So I did, I've relatedto the stories of the folk.
(07:41):
But women and men went through in those inthe middle Ages in Europe and across the
world really, and still do in some places,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (07:53):
The next post is from autism discussion page, which
describes as helping children feel safe.
What happens when thebrain becomes overwhelmed?
I have talked with hundreds ofautistic people about what it's
(08:14):
like to become overwhelmed.
Processing becomes more impaired.
All levels of processingstart to deteriorate.
The ability to register and informationbegins to fall apart as stress.
Everything becomesconfusing and unpredictable.
(08:38):
They often report that theirbody experiences physical pain
and engulfs them in panic.
They quickly lose the ability tothink, communicate, and problem solve
the ability to use language, bothreceptively and expressively weakens.
They cannot think through thesituation or problem solve.
(09:01):
The more we talk, the moreoverwhelmed they become.
They often lose their ability to speak.
Trying to reason with them requires toomuch thinking, which they do not have.
At that point, our senses becomeheightened in addition to the
(09:22):
deteriorating processing skills.
Their sensory sensitivities becomeheightened, adding more fuel to the fire.
Strong emotions begin to flood thebrain and the brain begins to panic.
They report that intense emotions comeon, like tidal waves and overpower.
Their ability to process everypart of their body hurts and
(09:48):
all coping skills collapse.
The brain starts to shut downor reaches a fight or flight.
If the overload occurs slowlyenough, the brain may start to shut
down to avoid being overwhelmed.
However, if the overload occurs tooquickly for escape to be immediate,
(10:11):
the stress sets off the fight or flightresponse usually expressed as a meltdown.
If you have meltdowns orshutdowns, what did you experience?
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (10:26):
So is a meltdown, the equivalent of panic attack?
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (10:31):
I used to think, I was having panic attacks, and I was
going into a sort of shut down meltdown.
And now that I know what it is,generally been easier to manage.
But like before I understood whatit was, it felt like, like reality
was just absolutely, like me,in reality were just glitching.
(10:54):
I remember having one triggered ina restaurant in Glasgow, 'cause the
acoustics, , , in the room were so.
Odd that I couldn't hear the personover that I was with, but I could
hear the person on the other sideof the room louder than them.
And it was all, the layerednoise was just too much.
And it was just like, I just feltmyself starting to lose, like the
(11:15):
ability to speak, like losing skills.
And I think that's what I fear themost is that is like the shutdown
experiences that I had and.
Skills, like I feeling like I'velost consciousness and yeah, I think
there's still a bit to review throughchildhood of like more meltdown stuff,
(11:41):
but I can see it throughoutmy life more now.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (11:45):
Yeah.
I remember going to therapysessions for panic attacks.
And of course they did itthe worst way possible.
They would put you in a big hall full of300 people with, and then close the doors.
They saw it as a feedback loopthat you could learn to cope with
through, you know, , a CD romand a booklet and some practice.
(12:10):
But later or now.
We have this kind of other way oflooking at what might have been
going on, and I can agree with youthere about the world glitching.
Yeah, the flickering lights,supermarket cues and stuff.
(12:30):
You know, I was convinced I hadan illness that was causing this,
and so I went for brain exams andall these things, you know, but.
Like yourself, you kinda then replayyour life and go, so what happened?
You know, how did this all all come about?
(12:51):
What's it about?
And so things like this may helpus understand a wee bit, but,
I'm wondering what others think.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (13:01):
Well, I've heard that before from other people where.
Something happens and it'sworry and they go to extreme to
find out what the problem is.
And I've been like that in manyways myself, overthinking over
(13:22):
preparing or being somewherethat's totally uncomfortable
someone made a comment on a Facebookand what it says is sometimes it's
like those Potter wheel videos whenthe clay collapses and goes everywhere.
Sometimes it's like my brain isrunning a lot faster than I can
keep up with and I can't stop it.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (13:47):
I think the thing where your brain is running
a lot faster than you can keep upwith may be something else, but maybe
a big part of this too, it may bewhen it gets really outta control.
Because I saw a lot of my panic situationsas being about control me losing control.
(14:09):
I felt because when the talkingthere about the brain becoming
overwhelmed, I think it's becauseas part of the body, this is what
I sense, it's part of the body.
The body is in control at that point.
It's taking over and I don't, youcan think your way outta that one.
All I was able to do was justavoid the situations that
(14:32):
caused that or escape from them.
Confronting them wasapparently therapeutic, but
was really quite an endurance.
So there's something in there about whatthis guy, , the brain running too fast.
Yeah.
I've not really experienced that one toomuch, but there are times when I think,
(14:54):
like, I can't stop my mind sometimes,and so I've looked into ways of relaxing.
Whether that be chemical or throughsome practice or some joyous exploration
or distraction, but there's a balancebetween the mind and the body here.
(15:15):
I think
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: The next post is from Retrophiliac (15:18):
undefined
who's a digital curator autistic.
They them Canadian self-taught artistand designer advocate and activist,
as an individual autistic person.
I am not accountable for themisinformation spread by autism
(15:38):
organizations or the failure to properlyeducate their non-autistic staff.
Reaching out to a local organizationabout the incorrect use of language and
not receiving a response is already moreeffort than should be expected of me.
It's not my responsibility to takeon someone else's job, nor am I
(16:01):
obligated to say anything at all.
I am sharing this as an example, notto be dramatic abrasive or complaining,
but because autistic people are sooften expected to fix these issues for
free, even when we have no connectionto these organizations that isn't
(16:22):
okay, we shouldn't be pressuredinto engaging in extra labor, that
drains our already a limited energy.
Especially when we wouldn'tbe paid, credited, or even
acknowledged for our contributions.
Jules (16:36):
The person seems to be complaining that it shouldn't be their responsibility
to do this, that, or the other.
Well, I'm not convinced, youknow, and I'm not convinced that
not only should it be our responsibilityto do so of those explanations that we
(16:58):
should be given the opportunity to do.
What this person seems to be arguingis that give us less power, please.
Well, no, I don't agree with that.
I think, give us the opportunity toeducate your non-autistic people.
Give us the opportunity to explain things.
(17:19):
Give us the opportunity todo all the things that that
person was complaining about.
You know, they're the thingsI want us to be able to do.
So I'm sorry for the person who iswriting it like that, that they feel
as though they're being put upon.
But how they feel put upon for mewould feel as though I've been given
(17:40):
opportunity, given a seat at the table.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (17:44):
I'm gonna struggle to put this into words a wee bit,
but I felt just kind of confused by the.
What they're saying in the post,because I feel like I would want to
have that responsibility to be able tospeak for myself and not to be like,
oh, well you should just know, but.
(18:06):
I'm glad that Jules wasmore direct about it.
'cause I felt like Imaybe not getting this.
Is there something that I'm missingis, are they talking about a
situation and I'm generalizing it.
, so I just got a bit tangled.
But I don't feel like it'sbeing important for me to kind
of be able to identify like.
What I need to survive and startand thrive and start to find ways
(18:31):
to like bring that into my life.
Connect with it.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (18:38):
Yeah.
There's a lot of words inthere that sound like there's a
feeling that you owed something.
Jules (18:44):
It just sounds a bit whiny.
I like the punk rock attitude of seeingsomething that should be done differently
and then just trying to do it, evenif you're doing it with inappropriate
materials and poor instrumentsand you know, sticking it together
with a photocopier, just doing it.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (19:03):
The so-called neurotypical world isn't going to
go away or change that much for us.
So we have to negotiate.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (19:12):
If I'm really compassionate about it
though, , it could be coming fromlike an absolute place of desperation.
Like, I'm imagining a scenariolike a family in poverty, like.
Dealing with loads of stuff, thengetting an autism diagnosis, the
school teacher saying, well, whatis it you need us to do for him?
And you're at that point, I dunno.
And I can understand at that pointhow somebody could fall into that.
(19:35):
Like, you know, aren't you the expert?
You're meant to tell me what to do.
, this quite disempowered place.
But I think that's these sort of stages.
I think that to be in a completestate of crisis is an awful thing, and
it's awful trying to find, connectionwhen you're in a place like that.
(19:57):
But I think that, I guess it'slike, it's a social media post.
It's gonna be one sided, isn't it?
And we are putting the nuancein by having conversations.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (20:09):
The next post is from Leeds Autism Services,
which is on as charity organizations,Le Autism Services at a charity
dedicated to creating a more autismfriendly society based in the uk.
And it's a post of an activity,photographs, and it says, William and
(20:33):
Vicki had a lovely walk along the canal toThwaite's mill where they enjoyed looking
at the waterfall and the duck mural.
Afterwards, they had turned to agrape street base to do some painting
this reminds me of kinda some ofthe activities that I used to do.
Not in that sense, but going somewhere,doing something relatively simple,
(21:00):
visiting somewhere that's just somewheredifferent, somewhere that helps the
senses and will go to a park or , justgo somewhere and then return to this
sort of what is looked upon as asafe space to either sit and have a
talk or draw I've done that myself.
I relate to it in some ways,
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com: yeah, Harry, it's like those (21:22):
undefined
experiences are often judged as notworthwhile or, yeah, not valuable.
Like I was thinking about how thewhole periods in my life where I would
just cycle around doing things, goingplaces, seeing things, seeing people.
(21:43):
At my want in various states wee missions,you know, for great purpose from my
point of view, but not from what wouldbe seen as a general point of view
of like, you know, how you earn in aliving, what you're doing with yourself.
(22:05):
Yeah.
And yet I found a lot ofpeople who did similar things.
So we all enjoyed like going out onour bikes sometimes and doing stuff,
going places, having experiences,
but there's a societythere that wants you to,
(22:26):
you know, support yourself and get by.
And if you can't, what are youdoing all this other stuff for?
And yet that other stuff is incredibly.
So I like this post.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (22:40):
The next post is from the Scottish Ethnic
Minority Autistic , CIC, which isa nonprofit organization, strive to
improve understanding of being autisticfrom the various communities of the
global majority based uk and , it's.
(23:02):
An opportunity toparticipate in the research.
Are you autistic and a parent?
We are conducting the next stage of aresearch into autistic adult experiences.
Parenting participation involvescompleting an anonymous online survey
that takes approximately 20 minutes.
(23:23):
We want to hear from people whoidentify as autistic, identify as
a parent of babies, childrens, oradults at 18 years of age or older.
This project is led by Sandra Thom-Jones,AKA autistic professor, an autistic autism
researcher and advocate, and was approvedby the University of Southern Queensland
(23:49):
Human Research Ethics Committee.
And it provides a link to thesurvey and more information
about that particular research,
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (24:02):
I request for participation in
research got passed along my way
and I've got like, I don't know.
I've got complicated feelings about it,
I think because yeah, I thinkI've got a lot of complicated
feelings about like academia and
(24:23):
being examined and
I suppose I can also see like the, youknow, the good side of participation as
well, but there's quite a lot to it.
A a lot more.
Now I'm faced with the prospect,I would say, but then I'm doing
this and talking out loud anyway.
So would it be much different?
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com: Depends if it's a safe space, you (24:46):
undefined
know, there are privacy issues.
Suppose it would have to give yousome kinda idea as to what would be
happen to your information to makeyou feel more secure about sharing.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (24:59):
Yeah, exploring it further is what
of what I'm planning to do.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: The next post is from. (25:05):
undefined
And what it says is there's someexciting news coming soon Versus,
Versus a hundred poems by Deaf,disabled and neurodivergent poets.
Three months, the official publicationin the UK and Europe, 22nd of July.
(25:29):
Elsewhere, this anthology is up on theBloodaxe books website with preorders.
via Amazon now available thanksto Neil Astley and all the team at
Bloodaxe books for their incrediblesupport and enthusiasm to the
amazing advisory and advocacy panel.
Chisom Okafor, Karthika Naïr and DanielSloman and to all the contributors for
(25:56):
allowing work to be featured thanks toalso the Royal Society of Literature
for supporting the project through theirliterature matters Award versus Versus
is also available in the ebook format.
And the book cover features a SquareShape outward by Polish artist, Julian
(26:16):
Stanczak and title Concurrent Colors.
The painting creates an optical illusionof vertical moving curved lines in
red and blue, given the impressionof moving waves or sand dunes at the
edge of the painting, the lines standout so there resemble a comb effect.
The painting is a darker blue framing bandaround it filling the extent of the cover.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (26:40):
I'm quite intrigued by that book.
Be interested to read it.
I just had a little look at the.
Cover as well and it wasreally visually stimulating.
I remember it takes me back to lookingat stuff like that as a kid and like
really stimming with my eyes with itand then getting really bad headaches.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (27:01):
Bloodaxe are highly reputable publishers who
I've had decades involvement be kindaout there outside poetry usually.
OB poets on their collections.
The cover is very like stuff afriend of mine, Hempstead does.
(27:23):
He's inspired by all part of the
Bridget and that who did,but the other guys in Europe.
The color that you do it in color, it'sjust a strange optical effects, but
it's good to see something creative.
Harry's pointed out the kinda communityhere of, poets, how widespread that is.
(27:51):
So interesting.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (27:55):
It remind me of the creative writing
groups I used to attend and.
In the community and it was just all thesepeople kinda, you know, brought together.
Some people wrote short stories.
What I tend to do was poetry.
And it was kinda expressive poetry.
(28:15):
Well, I used to do it firstwas it's went to ways to rhyme,
so there's a rhythm to it.
But then I tried the other kind ofpoetry where it was just like expressing
a mood, whether it be good or bad.
Sometimes I would keep it, sometimesI wouldn't, and I just felt it
was such a worthwhile activity.
(28:36):
And I read poems from.
Different people.
We've met different experiences,especially people have
been through hard times,
it's just so inspiring and it used tohelp me create more poetry, especially
the way that some people use words.
The way it was structured andalways sound amazing is anytime.
(28:59):
I certainly read, pictures arealways created in the head.
Very desciptive pictures of whatthey're talking about, what they're
doing, either in a story or a poem,and it's always a worthwhile read.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (29:14):
I like how you bring up Rhythm, Harry, because
I've often thought of poetry is likeembodied kinda imagination sometimes.
It doesn't even necessarily have tomean anything's how it sounds or reads,
and that's like a form, you know?
So , I'm thinking recitation, recited,
(29:38):
spoken.
Even when you speak it to yourself,you get into a body rhythm at times.
A bit like music, but that's another form.
I'm curious about your creative writingclasses, because when I did them,
they were always kind of prescribed.
The tutor would come in with an exampleof something like a short story say and
(30:00):
say, okay, can you do something like that?
Can you try something like that?
And you weren't really there inan open sense to explore what you
already did or you felt you could do.
It was more like learningthe ways as it were.
And I found it always offputting
(30:21):
The next post is from
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Embrace Autism. (30:23):
undefined
Who are a mental health service,science website, diagnostics
center, research based informationand empowerment by autistics.
For autistics.
Embrace your advantages.
And what they're talking about is managingour masking, the A-U-D-H-D edition.
(30:47):
Based on what we know about autisticpeoples and A DHD experiences with
camouflaging, we can safely assumethat AU DHD is likely camouflage
more than the general population.
Camouflaging may also be a contributor tothe increased risk of experiencing anxiety
and depression in A-U-D-H-D people.
(31:11):
Knowing that maintaining camouflagelikely brings lots of stress.
Here are some tips I've collectedto help manage masking so that
it doesn't become harmful.
Figure out which, if any,camouflaging techniques contribute
the most to your success.
For example, creating multiplereminders when you have difficulty
(31:34):
with organization and time management.
Track how masking makes you feel.
If you feel accomplished andstructured, you're likely gaining
more from camouflaging than losing.
However, if you feel exhausted andhave increased negative thoughts
about yourself, then it's causing youmore harm than good in the long term.
(31:58):
Acknowledge the fact that notall autistics camouflage mask.
Some autistics may find it toopainful to mask, which puts them
at higher risk of ostracizationand ridicule for being themselves.
Those who mask must keep in mind thatwe get to experience social rewards in
the world for being able to camouflagerewards that autistics who cannot
(32:21):
camouflage, do not get access, learnother ways of coping with uncomfortable
situations without having to camouflage.
Not camouflaging means that we mightbe in situations where people react
negatively to our neurodivergent identity.
It's important to be able to regulateour emotions when this happens,
(32:45):
instead of pretending we're fine.
It's important to be able to regulateour emotions when this happens instead of
pretending they're fine and hiding them.
Understand that you are enoughwithout having the mask.
The choice to mask understandably feelsnecessary to many neurodivergent people
(33:06):
like myself as a level of safety.
The healthiest long-term solution,however, will lie within our ability
to accept our identity and makechoices affirming our natural Inc.
Implications while findingour place in wider society.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (33:24):
I mask a lot less than I used and I was never actually
very successful at masking, I don't think.
Hence all the weird comments and stuff.
Very fidgety as well, andI've been shouted at in
public by strangers before too
(33:46):
yeah, I've adapted my life, I wouldsay pretty successfully now, getting
more successful, and I enjoy not livingin this sort of cast, I would say it
felt like a splint or something, thatit was just so uncomfortable, and
it should be so nice to let go of.
(34:07):
Yeah, there is a liberation in lettinggo of the masks, and there's concessions
that I make for myself now thatprobably make me a lot less likable
for some people, but give me so muchrelief and save me so much energy.
But yeah, I would say thatthere's huge costs to it too.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (34:30):
I feel as though I pick up masks intentionally and play
with them and take on roles and I'vegot some masks that I might wear for a
few moments and play with, and some areactual serious ones that I can take on
as a persona to make sure that I get.
(34:53):
I.
This putting on and taking off andbeing comfortable with all kinds
of different versions of yourselfthat you have to be in society.
I think that's where I've gotto in my maturity that kind of
makes me feel as I've made it,
it doesn't feel as though there's a wholerole in any way that's forced upon me.
(35:21):
I feel as though I've managed to be therebellious teenager and keep free of that
enforcement of other people's master and
standard.
So
I think the only thing to say isthat there is a positive version of
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: everything. (35:50):
undefined
I like , the way you said that there,Jules, there's a positive version
of everything depending on obviouslythe people's experience of it.
I mean, we've talked aboutmasking and camouflaging before.
You've always brought thatexample about choosing the mask
and playing with it even to suit.
Your position to suit your life at thattime or that situation at that time.
(36:11):
And I think I do a bit of that as wellthinking about it because I put on
different masks for different company.
I mean, even speaking, you know, just nowis that I put a different mask on here.
(36:31):
Because I'm not totally unmasked'cause I'm speaking a certain way.
Can I even mean this sort ofcharacter in a certain way?
Because I'm on a radio and I'm gettingrecorded and it's going out live.
Depending on the character of theother person, you know, whether
(36:51):
they're judgmental or not, or howthey would behave too, if I was
a bit too free with my behavior.
And it's, I mean, that
sounds, you know, quite intense.
It's like my behavior's so out there it's,you know, it's dangerous, but it's not.
It's just suiting the scenarios,the situations, and I'm
quite comfortable with that.
I know I've told about some situationswhere I get annoyed at, you know, but
(37:15):
I think that's just life in general.
But it's something that I do generally.
Do you know, I don'tact the way that I do.
We even one friend to another friend,there's always slight differences
because they get different characters.
Maybe they even getdifferent masks themselves.
This on might fee feel free one.
(37:37):
Friend than you do with another,because you've known one about longer.
You grew up with one another.
One you've only met inthe last maybe 10 years.
So it's that sort of thing thatI'm kinda thinking about taking
from that particular post.
We've come to end the broadcast.
It's been a great night.
More interesting discussions.
(37:58):
Thanks everyone that shared these posts.
So
this is Harry's Facebook forthe 23rd of February, 2025.
This is part of SpectrumVoices conversation on
autistic radio every Sunday.
5:55 PM to 7:30 PM UK time.
So thank you again and good night
(38:22):
Autistic radio is about us.
It's for us, and it's from us.
Autistic Radio is about you.
It's for you, and it can be from you.
We have every single Sunday dropin four, four 4:00 PM every Sunday.
(38:48):
That's not live.
That's us getting together,us talking community.
Every Sunday, Harry leads a fivefive 5:00 PM a discussion around
the Facebook page that he creates.
Involve yourself by suggestingwhat we should talk about next.
(39:11):
Share it with Harry and.
The bigger picture, advocate, use us.
Speak to the world, your project,your idea, your enthusiasm.
We have a whole range of differentprograms that will fit what you want.
(39:35):
As far as listening goes, there'ssome challenging stuff out there.
Because amongst the identity, theentertainment, and the community,
we also make serious programs withautism professionals challenging
(39:55):
their ideas and bringing whatyou say in other spaces to them.
A lot of those are difficult listens,but it's a holistic gathering.
It comes all together.
Autistic radio is very varied.
(40:17):
We need a favor to encourage us.
We need you to share us.
When you share us.
You give autistic people power.
When you share us, you makeus impossible to ignore.
When you repost on LinkedIn and Facebookand anywhere else, you are advocating
(40:44):
for everybody in the autistic community.
So pick the things that you arehappy with and get them out there.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you from all of us.
We speak our words, we listen,we speak our words, we listen.
We speak our words.
We listen.
We speak our words.
We listen.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Good evening everyone. (00:18):
undefined
This is Harry's Facebook for Sunday,the 23rd of February, 2025, and the
first post is from the autistic teacher.
A public figure, autistic and proudsharing insight and understanding to help
the autistic community based in the uk.
(00:40):
And she shared a quote frommusician and singer, Tori Amos.
And what it says is, some of themost wonderful people are the
ones who don't fit into boxes.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (00:52):
I agree that people don't fit into boxes.
Like it's just, I don'tthink any people do.
I think everybody's got is quiteinteresting in their own way.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: I have found. (01:02):
undefined
The most inspiring peopleand friends that I've met.
It doesn't always have to be autism.
It's like people that arequirky characters and they don't
fit into the so-called norm.
And I'm talking about school,I'm talking about adulthood,
you know, all over the place.
It's just like, not rebels as such,but people that just do things
(01:23):
differently to what you expect and don't.
Society seems to demandpeople and I like that.
And they're not doing it forthe sake of being all, or
they're just being themselves.
And that sort of inspires it, inspires me.
It's like, all right, okay, I like that.
(01:46):
In school, in high school anyway, weused to hang about with our, , friends.
We used it called The Squares, and I thinkthat's because we wore glasses and because
we were the people that called us Squareswas people that there was always these
sort of kind of stereotypes that rememberthese kind of group of boys who thought
(02:08):
they were Mr. Handsomes and look at me,you know, play football and all that.
I thought, look, youknow, that sort of thing.
And there was other ones thatwere in any kinda groups of gangs.
Like to have a fight with peoplefor other areas and all that.
And I thought, and then I went to uponus that we were strange, we were misfits.
We didn't cause too manyhassle in the class.
(02:31):
And don't get me wrong, mybehavior wasn't always great.
It's that sort of kinda group of peoplethat I'm always feeling comfortable in.
I can remember like kind had a reunionat one of my old school friends
weddings, a couple of years ago.
Well, it's about longer thanthat, but it's, let's saying like,
I remember you, you were nuts.
And I was not insulted by that.
It was just like the character Iwas and it just that comforting sort
(02:54):
of not fitting in the box and beingin that group of people that don't
fit in the box as very comfortingand even it feels safe as well.
Jules (03:04):
That's kind of odd really, isn't it?
Because you're looking back on awhole life and you're thinking right
back to school all this way along.
There's been a pride in the idea thatyou don't fit in that, when the other
people say, are you with a bad one?
Or you with a. You know, you were theperson who was more extreme, did it more,
(03:31):
and there's a kind of pride in that.
So there's definitely a group of us whohaving been challenged with the idea of
not fitting in made it very much part oftheir whole adolescence growing up even.
Right into their adulthood now.
(03:52):
Of their psyche not to be exactly thesame, not to be the people who fit
in, to be the quirky ones, and to bepart of the freaks ofand oddbas and
circus folk and carnival people, andpeople with weird nod backgrounds.
There's a pride in it, isn't there?
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (04:11):
I dunno, I feel a wee bit different about this sort of
weird pride thing, I've been called weird.
A lot throughout my life andthere was times in my thirties I
remember people being, well, youjust stopped trying to be weird.
And I wasn't trying, I didn't want to be.
And , the sort of sore thumbexperience of just feeling
like a sore thumb in the world.
(04:34):
So the kind of pride in not fittingin, it's a bit more ambivalent for me.
I feel like in a quite a good placewith it now, but like I definitely
went to the extreme, in my teens oflike early twenties maybe, of like
quite extreme styles almost to sort oflike, I'd rather people criticize my
appearance than my character I suppose.
(04:55):
So like it was really punk, reallygoth, kind of like give me kind
of social armor I would say.
Now, like I still find it ifsomebody is like, oh, you're weird.
Like I just find that, so I'm like,you're so strange to say that.
Like I just think that's such anodd thing to say to somebody now.
(05:16):
Yeah.
So that's how I feel about that.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (05:19):
Do people often say, you're weird, Nicola?
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (05:22):
Not so much now, but , I would have friends who
would sort of say it and I would likekind of hold in how much it hurt, it
followed me throughout my life until Istarted to have healthy boundaries, I
would say, where I don't really nurture.
Relationships now with peoplewho make me feel less than.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (05:43):
Yeah.
I think that's a trust issue.
I think as you grow older andyou learn to figure out who
you can trust to be close to
Jules (05:52):
it's really different
if you are part of the female,part of the population is a much
tougher thing to be dealing with.
There are, you know, versions ofmasculinity that go okay with weird,
but there are very few role modelsthat go with weird for women, it
(06:15):
really is , a situation of thesectors being treated entirely.
I was identifying with the odd crowd,with the outsiders, the whole of my life.
, it doesn't feel as though I lost anything.
It was an easy thing for me to do, butfor women, that would be an entirely
(06:37):
different situation, I'm guessing.
And in the background, we've gotsomebody commenting and saying.
I totally agree with you there aboutrelate boundaries in relationships.
Nicola.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (06:53):
Yeah, I've just spotted that there.
It's been a real journey learningthat I really needed , the manual
and yeah, I would say about being.
Branded a weird woman.
There definitely feels like there'ssome aspect of me like relates to
that the women who are like burnedas witches for being like weird.
(07:18):
And I think like that my experience as akid was people wanting to be my friends
because we had a good time together.
Like, I think I was quite a nice,like person to play with, but,
'cause I was a bit different.
I would get dropped in public 'cause youcouldn't be seen as a friend to this one.
So I did, I've relatedto the stories of the folk.
(07:41):
But women and men went through in those inthe middle Ages in Europe and across the
world really, and still do in some places,
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (07:53):
The next post is from autism discussion page, which
describes as helping children feel safe.
What happens when thebrain becomes overwhelmed?
I have talked with hundreds ofautistic people about what it's
(08:14):
like to become overwhelmed.
Processing becomes more impaired.
All levels of processingstart to deteriorate.
The ability to register and informationbegins to fall apart as stress.
Everything becomesconfusing and unpredictable.
(08:38):
They often report that theirbody experiences physical pain
and engulfs them in panic.
They quickly lose the ability tothink, communicate, and problem solve
the ability to use language, bothreceptively and expressively weakens.
They cannot think through thesituation or problem solve.
(09:01):
The more we talk, the moreoverwhelmed they become.
They often lose their ability to speak.
Trying to reason with them requires toomuch thinking, which they do not have.
At that point, our senses becomeheightened in addition to the
(09:22):
deteriorating processing skills.
Their sensory sensitivities becomeheightened, adding more fuel to the fire.
Strong emotions begin to flood thebrain and the brain begins to panic.
They report that intense emotions comeon, like tidal waves and overpower.
Their ability to process everypart of their body hurts and
(09:48):
all coping skills collapse.
The brain starts to shut downor reaches a fight or flight.
If the overload occurs slowlyenough, the brain may start to shut
down to avoid being overwhelmed.
However, if the overload occurs tooquickly for escape to be immediate,
(10:11):
the stress sets off the fight or flightresponse usually expressed as a meltdown.
If you have meltdowns orshutdowns, what did you experience?
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (10:26):
So is a meltdown, the equivalent of panic attack?
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (10:31):
I used to think, I was having panic attacks, and I was
going into a sort of shut down meltdown.
And now that I know what it is,generally been easier to manage.
But like before I understood whatit was, it felt like, like reality
was just absolutely, like me,in reality were just glitching.
(10:54):
I remember having one triggered ina restaurant in Glasgow, 'cause the
acoustics, , , in the room were so.
Odd that I couldn't hear the personover that I was with, but I could
hear the person on the other sideof the room louder than them.
And it was all, the layerednoise was just too much.
And it was just like, I just feltmyself starting to lose, like the
(11:15):
ability to speak, like losing skills.
And I think that's what I fear themost is that is like the shutdown
experiences that I had and.
Skills, like I feeling like I'velost consciousness and yeah, I think
there's still a bit to review throughchildhood of like more meltdown stuff,
(11:41):
but I can see it throughoutmy life more now.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (11:45):
Yeah.
I remember going to therapysessions for panic attacks.
And of course they did itthe worst way possible.
They would put you in a big hall full of300 people with, and then close the doors.
They saw it as a feedback loopthat you could learn to cope with
through, you know, , a CD romand a booklet and some practice.
(12:10):
But later or now.
We have this kind of other way oflooking at what might have been
going on, and I can agree with youthere about the world glitching.
Yeah, the flickering lights,supermarket cues and stuff.
(12:30):
You know, I was convinced I hadan illness that was causing this,
and so I went for brain exams andall these things, you know, but.
Like yourself, you kinda then replayyour life and go, so what happened?
You know, how did this all all come about?
(12:51):
What's it about?
And so things like this may helpus understand a wee bit, but,
I'm wondering what others think.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (13:01):
Well, I've heard that before from other people where.
Something happens and it'sworry and they go to extreme to
find out what the problem is.
And I've been like that in manyways myself, overthinking over
(13:22):
preparing or being somewherethat's totally uncomfortable
someone made a comment on a Facebookand what it says is sometimes it's
like those Potter wheel videos whenthe clay collapses and goes everywhere.
Sometimes it's like my brain isrunning a lot faster than I can
keep up with and I can't stop it.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (13:47):
I think the thing where your brain is running
a lot faster than you can keep upwith may be something else, but maybe
a big part of this too, it may bewhen it gets really outta control.
Because I saw a lot of my panic situationsas being about control me losing control.
(14:09):
I felt because when the talkingthere about the brain becoming
overwhelmed, I think it's becauseas part of the body, this is what
I sense, it's part of the body.
The body is in control at that point.
It's taking over and I don't, youcan think your way outta that one.
All I was able to do was justavoid the situations that
(14:32):
caused that or escape from them.
Confronting them wasapparently therapeutic, but
was really quite an endurance.
So there's something in there about whatthis guy, , the brain running too fast.
Yeah.
I've not really experienced that one toomuch, but there are times when I think,
(14:54):
like, I can't stop my mind sometimes,and so I've looked into ways of relaxing.
Whether that be chemical or throughsome practice or some joyous exploration
or distraction, but there's a balancebetween the mind and the body here.
(15:15):
I think
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: The next post is from Retrophiliac (15:18):
undefined
who's a digital curator autistic.
They them Canadian self-taught artistand designer advocate and activist,
as an individual autistic person.
I am not accountable for themisinformation spread by autism
(15:38):
organizations or the failure to properlyeducate their non-autistic staff.
Reaching out to a local organizationabout the incorrect use of language and
not receiving a response is already moreeffort than should be expected of me.
It's not my responsibility to takeon someone else's job, nor am I
(16:01):
obligated to say anything at all.
I am sharing this as an example, notto be dramatic abrasive or complaining,
but because autistic people are sooften expected to fix these issues for
free, even when we have no connectionto these organizations that isn't
(16:22):
okay, we shouldn't be pressuredinto engaging in extra labor, that
drains our already a limited energy.
Especially when we wouldn'tbe paid, credited, or even
acknowledged for our contributions.
Jules (16:36):
The person seems to be complaining that it shouldn't be their responsibility
to do this, that, or the other.
Well, I'm not convinced, youknow, and I'm not convinced that
not only should it be our responsibilityto do so of those explanations that we
(16:58):
should be given the opportunity to do.
What this person seems to be arguingis that give us less power, please.
Well, no, I don't agree with that.
I think, give us the opportunity toeducate your non-autistic people.
Give us the opportunity to explain things.
(17:19):
Give us the opportunity todo all the things that that
person was complaining about.
You know, they're the thingsI want us to be able to do.
So I'm sorry for the person who iswriting it like that, that they feel
as though they're being put upon.
But how they feel put upon for mewould feel as though I've been given
(17:40):
opportunity, given a seat at the table.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (17:44):
I'm gonna struggle to put this into words a wee bit,
but I felt just kind of confused by the.
What they're saying in the post,because I feel like I would want to
have that responsibility to be able tospeak for myself and not to be like,
oh, well you should just know, but.
(18:06):
I'm glad that Jules wasmore direct about it.
'cause I felt like Imaybe not getting this.
Is there something that I'm missingis, are they talking about a
situation and I'm generalizing it.
, so I just got a bit tangled.
But I don't feel like it'sbeing important for me to kind
of be able to identify like.
What I need to survive and startand thrive and start to find ways
(18:31):
to like bring that into my life.
Connect with it.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (18:38):
Yeah.
There's a lot of words inthere that sound like there's a
feeling that you owed something.
Jules (18:44):
It just sounds a bit whiny.
I like the punk rock attitude of seeingsomething that should be done differently
and then just trying to do it, evenif you're doing it with inappropriate
materials and poor instrumentsand you know, sticking it together
with a photocopier, just doing it.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (19:03):
The so-called neurotypical world isn't going to
go away or change that much for us.
So we have to negotiate.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (19:12):
If I'm really compassionate about it
though, , it could be coming fromlike an absolute place of desperation.
Like, I'm imagining a scenariolike a family in poverty, like.
Dealing with loads of stuff, thengetting an autism diagnosis, the
school teacher saying, well, whatis it you need us to do for him?
And you're at that point, I dunno.
And I can understand at that pointhow somebody could fall into that.
(19:35):
Like, you know, aren't you the expert?
You're meant to tell me what to do.
, this quite disempowered place.
But I think that's these sort of stages.
I think that to be in a completestate of crisis is an awful thing, and
it's awful trying to find, connectionwhen you're in a place like that.
(19:57):
But I think that, I guess it'slike, it's a social media post.
It's gonna be one sided, isn't it?
And we are putting the nuancein by having conversations.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (20:09):
The next post is from Leeds Autism Services,
which is on as charity organizations,Le Autism Services at a charity
dedicated to creating a more autismfriendly society based in the uk.
And it's a post of an activity,photographs, and it says, William and
(20:33):
Vicki had a lovely walk along the canal toThwaite's mill where they enjoyed looking
at the waterfall and the duck mural.
Afterwards, they had turned to agrape street base to do some painting
this reminds me of kinda some ofthe activities that I used to do.
Not in that sense, but going somewhere,doing something relatively simple,
(21:00):
visiting somewhere that's just somewheredifferent, somewhere that helps the
senses and will go to a park or , justgo somewhere and then return to this
sort of what is looked upon as asafe space to either sit and have a
talk or draw I've done that myself.
I relate to it in some ways,
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com: yeah, Harry, it's like those (21:22):
undefined
experiences are often judged as notworthwhile or, yeah, not valuable.
Like I was thinking about how thewhole periods in my life where I would
just cycle around doing things, goingplaces, seeing things, seeing people.
(21:43):
At my want in various states wee missions,you know, for great purpose from my
point of view, but not from what wouldbe seen as a general point of view
of like, you know, how you earn in aliving, what you're doing with yourself.
(22:05):
Yeah.
And yet I found a lot ofpeople who did similar things.
So we all enjoyed like going out onour bikes sometimes and doing stuff,
going places, having experiences,
but there's a societythere that wants you to,
(22:26):
you know, support yourself and get by.
And if you can't, what are youdoing all this other stuff for?
And yet that other stuff is incredibly.
So I like this post.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (22:40):
The next post is from the Scottish Ethnic
Minority Autistic , CIC, which isa nonprofit organization, strive to
improve understanding of being autisticfrom the various communities of the
global majority based uk and , it's.
(23:02):
An opportunity toparticipate in the research.
Are you autistic and a parent?
We are conducting the next stage of aresearch into autistic adult experiences.
Parenting participation involvescompleting an anonymous online survey
that takes approximately 20 minutes.
(23:23):
We want to hear from people whoidentify as autistic, identify as
a parent of babies, childrens, oradults at 18 years of age or older.
This project is led by Sandra Thom-Jones,AKA autistic professor, an autistic autism
researcher and advocate, and was approvedby the University of Southern Queensland
(23:49):
Human Research Ethics Committee.
And it provides a link to thesurvey and more information
about that particular research,
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (24:02):
I request for participation in
research got passed along my way
and I've got like, I don't know.
I've got complicated feelings about it,
I think because yeah, I thinkI've got a lot of complicated
feelings about like academia and
(24:23):
being examined and
I suppose I can also see like the, youknow, the good side of participation as
well, but there's quite a lot to it.
A a lot more.
Now I'm faced with the prospect,I would say, but then I'm doing
this and talking out loud anyway.
So would it be much different?
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com: Depends if it's a safe space, you (24:46):
undefined
know, there are privacy issues.
Suppose it would have to give yousome kinda idea as to what would be
happen to your information to makeyou feel more secure about sharing.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (24:59):
Yeah, exploring it further is what
of what I'm planning to do.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: The next post is from. (25:05):
undefined
And what it says is there's someexciting news coming soon Versus,
Versus a hundred poems by Deaf,disabled and neurodivergent poets.
Three months, the official publicationin the UK and Europe, 22nd of July.
(25:29):
Elsewhere, this anthology is up on theBloodaxe books website with preorders.
via Amazon now available thanksto Neil Astley and all the team at
Bloodaxe books for their incrediblesupport and enthusiasm to the
amazing advisory and advocacy panel.
Chisom Okafor, Karthika Naïr and DanielSloman and to all the contributors for
(25:56):
allowing work to be featured thanks toalso the Royal Society of Literature
for supporting the project through theirliterature matters Award versus Versus
is also available in the ebook format.
And the book cover features a SquareShape outward by Polish artist, Julian
(26:16):
Stanczak and title Concurrent Colors.
The painting creates an optical illusionof vertical moving curved lines in
red and blue, given the impressionof moving waves or sand dunes at the
edge of the painting, the lines standout so there resemble a comb effect.
The painting is a darker blue framing bandaround it filling the extent of the cover.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (26:40):
I'm quite intrigued by that book.
Be interested to read it.
I just had a little look at the.
Cover as well and it wasreally visually stimulating.
I remember it takes me back to lookingat stuff like that as a kid and like
really stimming with my eyes with itand then getting really bad headaches.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (27:01):
Bloodaxe are highly reputable publishers who
I've had decades involvement be kindaout there outside poetry usually.
OB poets on their collections.
The cover is very like stuff afriend of mine, Hempstead does.
(27:23):
He's inspired by all part of the
Bridget and that who did,but the other guys in Europe.
The color that you do it in color, it'sjust a strange optical effects, but
it's good to see something creative.
Harry's pointed out the kinda communityhere of, poets, how widespread that is.
(27:51):
So interesting.
Harry-Autistic-Association.org (27:55):
It remind me of the creative writing
groups I used to attend and.
In the community and it was just all thesepeople kinda, you know, brought together.
Some people wrote short stories.
What I tend to do was poetry.
And it was kinda expressive poetry.
(28:15):
Well, I used to do it firstwas it's went to ways to rhyme,
so there's a rhythm to it.
But then I tried the other kind ofpoetry where it was just like expressing
a mood, whether it be good or bad.
Sometimes I would keep it, sometimesI wouldn't, and I just felt it
was such a worthwhile activity.
(28:36):
And I read poems from.
Different people.
We've met different experiences,especially people have
been through hard times,
it's just so inspiring and it used tohelp me create more poetry, especially
the way that some people use words.
The way it was structured andalways sound amazing is anytime.
(28:59):
I certainly read, pictures arealways created in the head.
Very desciptive pictures of whatthey're talking about, what they're
doing, either in a story or a poem,and it's always a worthwhile read.
Raymond-AutisticRadio.com (29:14):
I like how you bring up Rhythm, Harry, because
I've often thought of poetry is likeembodied kinda imagination sometimes.
It doesn't even necessarily have tomean anything's how it sounds or reads,
and that's like a form, you know?
So , I'm thinking recitation, recited,
(29:38):
spoken.
Even when you speak it to yourself,you get into a body rhythm at times.
A bit like music, but that's another form.
I'm curious about your creative writingclasses, because when I did them,
they were always kind of prescribed.
The tutor would come in with an exampleof something like a short story say and
(30:00):
say, okay, can you do something like that?
Can you try something like that?
And you weren't really there inan open sense to explore what you
already did or you felt you could do.
It was more like learningthe ways as it were.
And I found it always offputting
(30:21):
The next post is from
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: Embrace Autism. (30:23):
undefined
Who are a mental health service,science website, diagnostics
center, research based informationand empowerment by autistics.
For autistics.
Embrace your advantages.
And what they're talking about is managingour masking, the A-U-D-H-D edition.
(30:47):
Based on what we know about autisticpeoples and A DHD experiences with
camouflaging, we can safely assumethat AU DHD is likely camouflage
more than the general population.
Camouflaging may also be a contributor tothe increased risk of experiencing anxiety
and depression in A-U-D-H-D people.
(31:11):
Knowing that maintaining camouflagelikely brings lots of stress.
Here are some tips I've collectedto help manage masking so that
it doesn't become harmful.
Figure out which, if any,camouflaging techniques contribute
the most to your success.
For example, creating multiplereminders when you have difficulty
(31:34):
with organization and time management.
Track how masking makes you feel.
If you feel accomplished andstructured, you're likely gaining
more from camouflaging than losing.
However, if you feel exhausted andhave increased negative thoughts
about yourself, then it's causing youmore harm than good in the long term.
(31:58):
Acknowledge the fact that notall autistics camouflage mask.
Some autistics may find it toopainful to mask, which puts them
at higher risk of ostracizationand ridicule for being themselves.
Those who mask must keep in mind thatwe get to experience social rewards in
the world for being able to camouflagerewards that autistics who cannot
(32:21):
camouflage, do not get access, learnother ways of coping with uncomfortable
situations without having to camouflage.
Not camouflaging means that we mightbe in situations where people react
negatively to our neurodivergent identity.
It's important to be able to regulateour emotions when this happens,
(32:45):
instead of pretending we're fine.
It's important to be able to regulateour emotions when this happens instead of
pretending they're fine and hiding them.
Understand that you are enoughwithout having the mask.
The choice to mask understandably feelsnecessary to many neurodivergent people
(33:06):
like myself as a level of safety.
The healthiest long-term solution,however, will lie within our ability
to accept our identity and makechoices affirming our natural Inc.
Implications while findingour place in wider society.
Nicola-AutisticRadio.com (33:24):
I mask a lot less than I used and I was never actually
very successful at masking, I don't think.
Hence all the weird comments and stuff.
Very fidgety as well, andI've been shouted at in
public by strangers before too
(33:46):
yeah, I've adapted my life, I wouldsay pretty successfully now, getting
more successful, and I enjoy not livingin this sort of cast, I would say it
felt like a splint or something, thatit was just so uncomfortable, and
it should be so nice to let go of.
(34:07):
Yeah, there is a liberation in lettinggo of the masks, and there's concessions
that I make for myself now thatprobably make me a lot less likable
for some people, but give me so muchrelief and save me so much energy.
But yeah, I would say thatthere's huge costs to it too.
Jules-AutisticRadio.com (34:30):
I feel as though I pick up masks intentionally and play
with them and take on roles and I'vegot some masks that I might wear for a
few moments and play with, and some areactual serious ones that I can take on
as a persona to make sure that I get.
(34:53):
I.
This putting on and taking off andbeing comfortable with all kinds
of different versions of yourselfthat you have to be in society.
I think that's where I've gotto in my maturity that kind of
makes me feel as I've made it,
it doesn't feel as though there's a wholerole in any way that's forced upon me.
(35:21):
I feel as though I've managed to be therebellious teenager and keep free of that
enforcement of other people's master and
standard.
So
I think the only thing to say isthat there is a positive version of
Harry-Autistic-Association.org: everything. (35:50):
undefined
I like , the way you said that there,Jules, there's a positive version
of everything depending on obviouslythe people's experience of it.
I mean, we've talked aboutmasking and camouflaging before.
You've always brought thatexample about choosing the mask
and playing with it even to suit.
Your position to suit your life at thattime or that situation at that time.
(36:11):
And I think I do a bit of that as wellthinking about it because I put on
different masks for different company.
I mean, even speaking, you know, just nowis that I put a different mask on here.
(36:31):
Because I'm not totally unmasked'cause I'm speaking a certain way.
Can I even mean this sort ofcharacter in a certain way?
Because I'm on a radio and I'm gettingrecorded and it's going out live.
Depending on the character of theother person, you know, whether
(36:51):
they're judgmental or not, or howthey would behave too, if I was
a bit too free with my behavior.
And it's, I mean, that
sounds, you know, quite intense.
It's like my behavior's so out there it's,you know, it's dangerous, but it's not.
It's just suiting the scenarios,the situations, and I'm
quite comfortable with that.
I know I've told about some situationswhere I get annoyed at, you know, but
(37:15):
I think that's just life in general.
But it's something that I do generally.
Do you know, I don'tact the way that I do.
We even one friend to another friend,there's always slight differences
because they get different characters.
Maybe they even getdifferent masks themselves.
This on might fee feel free one.
(37:37):
Friend than you do with another,because you've known one about longer.
You grew up with one another.
One you've only met inthe last maybe 10 years.
So it's that sort of thing thatI'm kinda thinking about taking
from that particular post.
We've come to end the broadcast.
It's been a great night.
More interesting discussions.
(37:58):
Thanks everyone that shared these posts.
So
this is Harry's Facebook forthe 23rd of February, 2025.
This is part of SpectrumVoices conversation on
autistic radio every Sunday.
5:55 PM to 7:30 PM UK time.
So thank you again and good night
(38:22):
Autistic radio is about us.
It's for us, and it's from us.
Autistic Radio is about you.
It's for you, and it can be from you.
We have every single Sunday dropin four, four 4:00 PM every Sunday.
(38:48):
That's not live.
That's us getting together,us talking community.
Every Sunday, Harry leads a fivefive 5:00 PM a discussion around
the Facebook page that he creates.
Involve yourself by suggestingwhat we should talk about next.
(39:11):
Share it with Harry and.
The bigger picture, advocate, use us.
Speak to the world, your project,your idea, your enthusiasm.
We have a whole range of differentprograms that will fit what you want.
(39:35):
As far as listening goes, there'ssome challenging stuff out there.
Because amongst the identity, theentertainment, and the community,
we also make serious programs withautism professionals challenging
(39:55):
their ideas and bringing whatyou say in other spaces to them.
A lot of those are difficult listens,but it's a holistic gathering.
It comes all together.
Autistic radio is very varied.
(40:17):
We need a favor to encourage us.
We need you to share us.
When you share us.
You give autistic people power.
When you share us, you makeus impossible to ignore.
When you repost on LinkedIn and Facebookand anywhere else, you are advocating
(40:44):
for everybody in the autistic community.
So pick the things that you arehappy with and get them out there.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you from all of us.
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