#38 Ruan Willow | Exploring sex, communication, dirty talk, and taboo subjects with an erotica author and podcaster - Bang Two Three Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm more interested in what you're gonna do with that dick than what looks like.

(00:04):
[Laughter]
I got the t-shirt!
What you gonna do with that dick?
[Laughter]
Let me read something to you, okay?
Okay.
[Music]
Lany pulled up her bikini bottoms and smiled.
Her heart's still pounding violently, like she just run for her life.

(00:27):
She swiveled just in time to see John turn and wave to her through the sliding glass door
with a giant grin plastered across his handsome face.
They had just had the best sex ever, so she was glowing.
He had meandered out to the pool on a work break and taken her in a rush of passion, bent
over the garden table under the beating of the afternoon's strongest sun rays.

(00:50):
The earthy smell of her little garden shovel had made for a primal experience.
The natural aroma wafting into her nostrils from inches away as John pressed her down
to the rough surface of the tall table to fuck her from behind.
Holy fucking shit!
Are you horny when you write this?
Oh, yes, absolutely!

(01:12):
And then I narrate it too, so then that hits me too.
But when I'm narrating it, it's a little bit more technical.
So sometimes it'll hit me, but it hits me more when I'm writing it than when I'm narrating
it.
Is this a fantasy that you actually had?
Oh, I would love to do it.
Yeah, I think the Hot Wife stuff is really sexy and hot.
And so that is one book.
I'm actually narrating the fourth book that just went live from that series.

(01:36):
So yeah, I'm having a lot of fun with it.
What about the Hot Wife thing?
What aspect of it makes it so attractive and sexy?
Probably for me, the biggest aspect is, I like the ones not where it's a cuckold, where
it's like a dominant, a strong man, a male dominant partner, where the focus is her absolute

(01:59):
pleasure.
So take away all the Hot Wife stuff.
My biggest thing probably is that if my partner can't get enough pleasureing me and wants
to keep doing that, that's like a top priority and is kind of relentless and pursuing that.
And that's what the way John is in that storyline is he's relentless.
He wants her to come, he wants her to have maximal pleasure, you know, however and by whoever

(02:24):
that happens with.
So is that like the conclusion of the guy who is relentlessly pursuing you?
It's like, listen, I will read all of these books.
I will work out.
I'll do key goals to make sure I'll take Viagra whatever.
I will eat your pussy like it's an all day buffet.
And then after all of that, after we've been in bed for three fucking hours, it's like,

(02:48):
you know what?
Go get with Steve so that he can make you come three more times.
Is that how it works?
Yeah.
Well, and often with the Hot Wife stuff, it's the male, the dominant likes to share his partner
and then likes to like reclaim her as his.
So then they often will have sex after the Hot Wife experience.

(03:11):
Like he's saying, you know, your mind, I'm, you know, reclaiming you kind of a thing.
So I think that's super hot too.
Have you ever done Hot Wife stuff personally?
No, no, I haven't.
But I would.
What's stopping you?
I would.
Oh, I'm not in the right situation for that.
But I would do it for sure.
I know it's becoming more well known.

(03:32):
Like there's some people who don't know what it is.
Did you know what it is before you read my book?
Because I recently was interviewed by someone and she didn't even know what a Hot Wife
was.
But totally, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So been knowing about that stuff.
I think a lot of guys, a lot of guys don't like it, right?
Because it's like we are like we are controlling possessive creatures.

(03:53):
Like let's just say the quiet part out loud, right?
And the aspect of sharing your girl or having another man, like especially because we watch
porn, we watch porn.
And so we see it's like we see the porn star banging her.
And then, ramen, his dick in her mouth and then spitting in her mouth is like, Oh, my, I
don't, that can't be my girl.

(04:15):
Right.
I totally get that.
But the interesting thing, the thing I love about this series that I'm writing to is that
Jaan, who's the dominant male, he's like the director of this.
Like, okay, he knows what she wants and he's going to do everything that she wants.
She's not going to go against her consent.
But literally he is the director of this.

(04:36):
Oh, he is like in charge.
He decides who, how, where, when and why?
And she's just going on the ride, baby.
You know, it's, I just think that's, that's, that's very steamy and hot and super fun.
So how do these stories start?
Is it like maybe you're having sexy time and then or maybe like you see the guy outside

(04:57):
mowing his lawn lawn and you're like, Oh my gosh, I would fuck you.
And then it's like, that's the beginning.
Yeah.
And so for, I mean, and I've narrated other people, other authors, right, hot life too, but
my particular one is the whole focus of this series is the workmen.
So it's the workmen that are like, come into the house, the garbage man, the pool man.

(05:19):
And this last one that I just released is leisurely working, retired, handy man.
So he's a silver fox.
So he's an older man.
So this is an age gap where he's probably, I don't know, like 15, 16 years older than her.
And so that was really fun to write too.
This kind of kind of delved into the whole daddy, dom stuff quite a bit with, with that
particular episode, which work or episode, no, Bella, because he's older and it kind of

(05:45):
just fits the age gap thing, you know?
What about it?
A track like what about the silver fox attracts girls because you don't see that a lot with
guys going for older women?
Yeah, except for in the milk stuff you do, like people, you know, milk is a definitely,
but I think that a lot of women, like the idea of, like I was saying earlier, being taken

(06:08):
care of and like, you know, made to come, like, I'm going to give you this experience.
I'm going to take care of you.
I'm going to make you come.
I'm going to make you have so much pleasure.
You don't even know what to do with yourself.
You're just like a rag doll, you know, stuff like that.
I think that's, to me, that's what it is.
They like being taken care of, someone who's in charge.

(06:29):
It depends too.
You have a dominant woman.
That's the way I see it.
How do you make a woman come?
How?
Yeah.
We got to play with her, quit.
Okay, fellas.
This is it.
She gave us the key.
This is it.
We just need to use the key.
That's it.
So is there right way?
Is there a wrong way to do it?
Like, can you, like, ruin the night with a big turn off or something like that?

(06:58):
Well, no, but you need to figure out what her pressure is, what kind of pressure she likes
and what she likes, you know, because the, a lot of, and I actually have a, a model of the
clip and I like to show this to people because a lot of people don't know what it looks
like.
This is actually the clitoris.
This is a mini clitoris.
Okay.
It's actually about four or five inches long.

(07:18):
It's almost as big as a cock, but it's internal.
So the part that you, you, where my fingers are pinching, that's the part that's kind of
on the outside, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the little nub everybody calls a button, but it's not just that.
There's all this stuff on the inside.
You've got these legs and these lobes and they all fill with blood and engorge like a
cock, which is why women can have multiple orgasms because we have multiple pouches to,

(07:44):
yeah, isn't that crazy?
But you know, people don't know what the clip looks like.
People know what a cock looks like, but a lot of people do not know what this organ is and
what it looks like.
I think a lot of guys don't want to know because we've been told from a very early age that
a clip is a dick and like you're kind of weird to lick it.

(08:05):
But if you think about it, you know, the clip, the most sensitive part is like in the man.
It's at the head, but all of this stuff is sensitive and this is kind of like where the
G spot is internally.
So it's all connected.
It's not G spot isn't a separate like organ or anything.
It's kind of like a complex.
So if you can figure out what she likes best, like about, I don't know, maybe like 90, 95%

(08:27):
of women need clitoral stimulation to climax to come.
Otherwise they won't.
There are very few women that can only, that can climax from only penetration.
They need that outside part touch too.
It's very, very common.
So that's how you make a woman come and you need to find out what she likes, how fast,
how hard, how direct does she like soft touches?

(08:48):
Does she want to be rammed?
What does she like?
And different.
How do you figure it out though?
Do you just travel an error?
Yes.
And communication like for me, like I spent a large portion of my life not really understanding
my own body until I started getting sex toys and I started playing, playing with my own
body.
And that is how I really learned what I like and what's going to make me come.

(09:11):
And I think of women don't know.
Get some sex toys.
Lay around.
Take some time alone and then take those sex toys and do them with your partner and tell
your partner, this is what I like.
And then the partner can do it with you and it's an enhancement.
It's not a threat.
It's something to enhance the sex.
That is such a good point because this is what happens with a lot of guys.

(09:34):
Including me, this is happening to me, right?
I get with the girl, right?
Maybe we've been talking for a week or two, a wine and dine or a little bit.
And it's pretty clear what's about to happen.
And I ask her, but like, hey, what do you like in bed?
Like what kind of does it for you?
And she has no answer.
I'm like, okay, cool.
I'll wing it and I go in there.

(09:57):
I do my damn best.
And then after where she's, she's like, yeah, sex wasn't that good.
And I feel timid.
She needs to communicate.
And if she doesn't have an answer for you, like I said, she needs to get some sex toys and
go play with herself and figure out the answers to those questions.
Because, you know, it's hard though, because a lot of women don't feel comfortable talking

(10:17):
about sex.
They're kind of ashamed or, no, you're not supposed to talk about that.
So many women just feel like they clam up.
They're like, oh, I can't talk about that.
Or in maybe her case, she doesn't even know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that there's a lot of like pillow princesses.
Usually the pillow princesses are like those, that's the type that I'm talking about is

(10:39):
just, they're just like, oh, well, I'm just supposed to lay down and you supposed to figure
out how to make me come.
By the way, if you don't figure out how to make me come, then I'm going with my ex-boyfriend
who I was with for four years and he, you know, brute forces, right?
Figured it out.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
It's kind of like, they kind of like, you're supposed to know magically know.
And that's silly because all women are different.

(11:00):
There's some women who love really strong, clitorial stimulation.
Other women are like, yeah, you know, you're touching really strong and they feel like they're
being, you know, stabbed or something.
So everybody is different.
You can't expect men.
Women out there.
You can expect men to know what you like.
You need to find out what you like and then you need to tell them and you can do it in sexy

(11:22):
ways, right?
You're having sexy, you're like, oh, yeah, just like that, right there, stronger, harder
to the left, to the right.
You know, it doesn't have to be condescending like you don't know what I want.
You know, you don't have to be a brat about it, right?
Just become, just communicate me like, this is what I like.
You're comfortable saying what kind of ice cream you like, right?
What kind of movie you like?

(11:42):
Same thing with sex.
How do you like your clit touched?
I think that's a T-shirt.
That is a T-shirt.
How do you like your clit touched?
I know.
It's like my T-shirt.
I'm my old fuck yeah T-shirt on from my podcast because that's old fuck yeah, I was room
yellow and I made another shirt, which I absolutely love is this, okay, this is the slogan.

(12:07):
It says, you came from fucking, right?
You came from fucking because you came because two people fucked and then you came because
you had sex, you fucked.
So it's like a dual thing.
That is so clever.
How do you think of that?
I thought of it when I was on a podcast with the Curious Girl Diaries, you know, her podcast,

(12:28):
Leila, Leila London, okay?
You know this, right?
I've had a podcast with Leila, I've done a podcast with Leila.
Well, you have.
Okay.
Yes.
I mean, and that phrase came up and she goes, you need to make a T-shirt of that.
And I'm like, yes, I do because I think I was the one who said it.
So yeah, that's how it came about.
I can't believe you know, Leila.

(12:50):
Leila was one of my funnest podcasts.
Oh, that's probably the most open sexually woman I have ever met in the history.
Like nothing was off limits.
Like she never met a woman who thinks more like a guy about sex than Leila.
Oh, I can appreciate that.
I mean, she came on my podcast and then I went on hers.

(13:11):
So I have experience with her and I can totally understand what you're saying.
It is such a breath of fresh air.
I love this stuff.
And this is why I think a lot of us guys, we talk about sex with each other all the time.
It's either we're watching porn or we talk about sex.
It's like we're in a locker room and it's like, oh, yes, Steve, you know, hey, I took

(13:32):
10 meter pound town last night and it's like, oh, shit.
And now Steve's cool and all this and it's like, well, damn, I'm going to take my wife to pound
town and stuff like that.
But with people like you and people like Leila, I think you provide the missing link because
we're trying to please your species.
And it's really hard sometimes.
And so to talk to you for you guys to be open about it is such a gift.

(13:57):
It is.
I think it's fantastic.
And I love her podcast too.
And the real thing is too part of the problem of the clitoris being mostly internal and the
dick is on the outside of the body.
You guys like figure stuff out much easier.
And for us, it's a little bit more work other than touching your outside part.
It's internal.

(14:18):
You have to put your fingers inside to feel around.
So it's a little bit harder for us to figure it out.
And we're also not really encouraged to do that.
So women need to do this and they need to figure out what they like.
You know?
Sex toys, playing around and just getting comfortable with talking about sex.
And I think to you and I talking right now, the more we talk about sex, the less taboo

(14:41):
it becomes.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Totally.
I think to whenever it comes to the the play it or any of these other things, I think what
I've the skill that I've developed that's helped me the most in pleasing women, at least
I think unless they're all faking in which case I'll jump over bridge.
But
But is like you said to listen.

(15:05):
So usually my approach is like, hey, you know, hey, we're kissing.
Like don't, first of all, don't, don't rush it.
You know, kiss, romance, you know, grab her ass a little bit stuff like that.
And then usually I like to let her get on top in whatever way she wants.
And then what I'm paying attention to is which angle does she, does she like my entire

(15:26):
dick in her?
Does she like just a little bit?
Right.
Like more towards the belly button more towards the butt.
Is she a balancer?
Is she a scooter?
Is she trying to rub her clit against my pelvic area stuff like this?
So this is kind of like my knowledge gathering phase and I'm downloading, I'm downloading.
And then when she's tired, then I apply that.

(15:49):
And that's kind of been a good approach for me.
Oh, yeah.
And 100% what's great about that is you're also observing her reactions and you're paying
attention.
Like you said, you're, you're, it's helping you.
You formulate, okay, what, what might she like?
What might I want to try based on how she is?
And also too, it's like, you know, the internal parts of a woman, the vagina is different

(16:11):
in different women.
So if it's tilted a certain way or whatever, it might be more painful one way or it might
be fantastic another way.
So again, the differences and bodies and sizes and all that kind of stuff, you know, it's,
you got to pay attention.
You got to be, it's, it's like a dance.
Constantly observing in your partner, right?
You can't just be like, oh, I did this last time.

(16:32):
I'll just do this again.
You know, still pay attention.
What should I do as a guy if I think my partner is faking orgasms?
Well, I would, actually, I would, maybe afterwards I would have a frank conversation be like, did
you really like that or is there something I could have done a little bit different?

(16:53):
You don't even have to say better.
You could just say, there's something I could have done a little differently to help you
enjoy more.
And maybe that will help it per feel like she's not put on the spot and like, because women
too also, we don't want to like make you feel like shit.
I mean, at least most women, right?
They don't want to make you feel like you're this bad man and bad, this bad lover, you

(17:14):
know, you don't want to crush somebody.
And so I think if you can talk about it and use the right words, it doesn't have to be
condescending or attacking.
It can be a discussion.
How can we make this better?
That's important.
You know, I didn't make her say, how can I do something better for you?
If you open that up to her, she might turn it right back around on you and then, hey, you're

(17:35):
in a great conversation where you can make it better for you, but oh, that is such a good
point, mate.
Communication is always key whenever it comes to that type of stuff.
I think a lot of guys are scared, not scared, okay?
Intimidated because a lot of times after sex, unless we've been with the person for a long
time and we know them, a lot of times.
But we want to ask, every guy wants to ask is, did you come?

(17:59):
Did you come?
And girls don't like that.
Like girls don't like, if you have to ask, then you suck, right?
And so for us to be like, well, did you like fake that come?
It's hard.
It's hard for us because we don't want to seem like a little bitch.
Right, right.
And the other thing that I thought of when you're saying is that is there are different

(18:21):
levels of orgasms.
Like sometimes I'll have an orgasm and it's just like internal, you know, I feel the contractions.
And other times just like a full body one and there's no question if I've come or not.
So there's a different, there's a gradient in orgasms.
So, you know, I think women need to realize that too.
And maybe if they don't know this yet, they haven't played with themselves enough yet.

(18:42):
Because there is a huge gradient.
So for you to ask, I don't think it's a bad thing because what if you had one of these
little smaller orgasms that isn't as evident to your partner, you know, sometimes they're
not that big.
Sometimes I'll get a whole full body one where my body's shaking and my neck, my head is
arching back and my toes curl.
I mean, you know, that's evidence, right?

(19:04):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I didn't know about the sneaky ones.
You're right.
The sneaky ones.
Oh, man, they are they sneaky because like, I'll like something.
I'll fuck a girl.
And then afterwards, I'll be feeling bad.
Like, damn, like I, I fucked you for like 45 minutes.
I'm covered in sweat, you know what I'm saying?
And you didn't come at all.

(19:25):
And then she'll come sit on the sofa and be like, whoo, I came four times.
That was amazing.
Sneaky ones, sneaky ones.
Would you rather big dick or big muscles?
Oh, that is a tough question.
Um, just be honest.
Let it rip.
Well, that's a hard question because big muscles mean they could like, you know, hold you in different

(19:51):
ways and hold you different.
And big dick can be good.
But if it's too big and it hurts, then, then, you know, dick can't go all the way in without
pain.
So that's bad.
Hmm.
I'm going to say big muscles, I guess.
That is that I think you are the only person who said that I've asked this to like four,
four women.

(20:11):
Oh, really?
Yeah, man.
But you know what?
I have to say, dick size does not matter.
You know why?
Oh, my gosh.
Breaking news.
I'm serious because when you're looking at the G spot, it's not that far inside her, right?
You can reach it with your fucking fingers.
Okay.
You don't need a big giant dick.
I mean, yes, you can have it go in there and maybe touch the get the cervix orgasms and

(20:35):
stuff like that.
But honestly, the two important parts really are the external glit head and the G spot and
the G spot isn't that far in.
But you don't need this big huge dick to pleasure or woman.
I mean, it's just not.
It's you don't need it.
If size doesn't matter, how come your dildos are so big?

(20:55):
I think because some people do like the internal like hitting the internal walls or some people
like the cervix orgasms and some people think that's painful.
Again, there's differences in women.
So you know, it's I think that's why and I think also maybe people just like the whole idea
of a big dick, but if you're actually being fucked by a big dick, you may not actually like

(21:16):
it.
You got this 12 inch monster.
You might be like afterwards, you might be like, get away.
I have a friend who's a porn star and her name is Lailani Leip.
And if she ever does a scene with a really, really big dick, she needs like recovery time
afterwards because it's so big and she may end up hurting a little bit.

(21:36):
So you know, this is that thing and if you need time to recover, okay, that's fine, but
again, a giant dick isn't necessarily needed for a woman to come.
That's such an interesting point because I actually have heard of red that.
I've never talked to a porn star, but I've read that like whenever they do some of these

(21:58):
anal scenes, there's like numbing creams.
Sometimes there's like, you know, certain drugs or like even pain killers.
Anything with like vaginal scenes and stuff like that.
But it's so it's so like fucking misleading because you've seen that porn and she's like,
oh my gosh.
But then afterwards she's like, I can't walk for two days and it's terrible, man.

(22:23):
Isn't that like, is that kind of unhealthy for guys?
Because we're over here like we're buying like dick pills, like they're going out of
style because of the porn.
It is unhealthy and it's, you know, you got to remember porn is
entertainment.
So it's not necessarily real.
I mean, some of it obviously is, but it's they're acting, you know, they're acting out

(22:45):
as seen.
They're not, I mean, you can't say they're all not enjoying it because they might be enjoying
it, but there are some that aren't going to be enjoying it and they're just flat out
acting.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
And also to another revolution I had for me for the fellas out there, for the small
pecker guys, the guys with the little peckers, listen, girls will make themselves come ten

(23:07):
times with their finger, okay?
And so if they can do that, your tiny pecker can do it too.
Exactly, exactly my point.
It doesn't need to go, it doesn't need to be that long inside her.
If you can do it with your fingers, think how far your fingers are going in.
It's not that far.
Right.
You don't have like seven inch fingers, you know, you know, I bet Shaq does.

(23:33):
Yo, you do not want Shaq's finger in you.
Got like some pretty good.
Can you imagine how big his dick must be?
I mean, seriously.
Shaq, you look at 12 inch.
Shaq's got a goddamn hog.
Listen, you don't want to, like, no, you know, you'll be honest.
Like, yo, Shaq's probably last dude I want fuckin' my girl, bro.

(23:55):
He's biggest shit.
He's strongest shit.
He is.
Yes, he just fingers her.
It's like, oh my gosh.
You know, and then he was a professional athlete too.
So.
Yes.
Shaq, stay away from the normal girls, okay?
You stay with the strippers or whatever.
Doggy style or reverse cow girl.

(24:17):
Right.
Sorry.
Doggy style or reverse cow girl?
Would you rather be a...
I would rather do doggy.
What about it appeals to you?
Well, I like a dominant man.
So that's probably what it is for me.
And I do like the sensations of...
I mean, you know, it's obviously not directly hitting the clip, but the reverberations of the

(24:42):
hitting from behind can go forward and that's enjoyable.
And, you know, I could reach down and touch my clip or he could do it.
So you get both of those things.
So that's what it is for me, I guess.
You're the second woman I've heard say that the...
I talked to one woman and she said, "Man, I just love the ball slapping up against my ass."
She's like, "It's just something about that."

(25:03):
I'm like, "You are weird, but now that's what you just said."
Oh, I've talked to many women who like doggy.
It's not that uncommon.
It's...
I've talked to several of that too.
So it's not just men that like doggy.
It's not the liking of doggy.
It's liking balls like that.
Slap balls.
Right, sure.
That...

(25:24):
You're the second person I've heard say that.
Would you rather a dad bod, but amazing sex or a Greek god bodie that's bad in bed?
Oh, definitely the better in bed, dad bod, 100%.
Million percent.
That's an easy one.
That was an easy one.

(25:44):
Yes.
Would you rather ass slapping or hair pulling?
I'm ass slapping, I guess.
I heard a lot of girls do not like hair pulling.
It's just kind of like a porn thing, but it's really uncomfortable.
Yeah, it is.
I think the hair is really sensitive.
I think about if I get snarls in my hair and I'm like, "I can hurt a lot."

(26:08):
The ass slapping, again, you get that whole sensation of a wave through your pelvis, which
is kind of like with doggy too.
That can be...
Oh, rousing as well.
That is also...
Would you rather fuck a 21-year-old or 51-year-old?
51-year-old.
Oh, shit!
Why?

(26:28):
Because men learn more with age and they just get to be better lovers as they age.
There's not something taboo about like, "Oh, he's almost show him something."
Like, "I'm going to introduce him to all I have."
Well, that's exciting too.
That's true.
That is true.

(26:48):
I think of teaching someone and being like, "This is... this is to all you please a woman."
Yeah, that's definitely a rousing too, but I still... top one would be the 51.
Yeah, especially since you said you're more submissive too, so that makes sense.
Would you rather a clean shaven or a hairy dick?
I don't mind too much either way, but I guess clean shaven is better for a blow jobs because

(27:12):
you're not going to get hair in your mouth.
You know, you're less likely to get hair in your mouth.
It always seems like as soon as she goes down, it's like three seconds and then she comes
up, like doing that.
Exactly.
Yes, guys, shave your dick.

(27:34):
Would you rather a man with amazing oral skills or amazing penetration skills?
Oh, well, I love to have both, obviously, but I guess I'm going to be a bit more
of a big oral because you can do that longer without your body getting as tired.
You know, after a while of thrusting, you know, it's just physically becoming... I'm sure,

(27:56):
you know, becoming difficult or just harder to continue to maintain.
So, I guess I'll pick oral.
Yes, that is such a good point.
As a guy, I've learned that kind of a lot of times whenever I go into it, like one of my
main goals is to not sweat.
I do not sweat, Chris, if I start sweating, right, because you get worked up and it's like,

(28:18):
oh my gosh, like you see her boobs jiggle and you just lose.
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Jack, Jack hammer time.
But a lot of...
I'll do it.
And the next thing I know, like five minutes later, like, oh no, you know, I'm getting soft.
I'm out of breath.
She does it when I get on top.
What do I do?
Right.
Exactly.
Yes.

(28:38):
Yes.
That is a scary feeling for a guy.
I know, I bet.
You know, you are sexually aroused, but you start...
You got a limp noodle.
Right.
Right.
Would you rather a small dick with great stamina or a big dick, but he doesn't last that long?
Definitely the first one, longer stamina.

(28:59):
Do you think erotica works on guys?
I do, because I have a lot of men who even listen to my erotica.
I do think it does.
I know a lot of men are very visual, but there are a lot of men who like to read and listen
to it as well.
So, you know, I think it does.

(29:19):
It's both.
You know, I...
More women tend to like it, but there are a lot of men who do too.
And I've interviewed so many erotic authors, and they all say the same thing.
They have men and women.
That's so interesting, because like you said, like guys are visual, you know, visually stimulated
and stuff like that.
Yeah.
I was talking to my girl, and she kind of blew my mind.

(29:42):
And this, this kind of, this revelation kind of turned me on like, okay, erotica is like
super important to women.
Like it does a lot for you.
And here's what she told me.
She said, yeah, sometimes I watch porn, like porn's cool and all, but man, if I watch a romcom
and like the guy is like doing all the right things and he's saying all the right things

(30:06):
and stuff like that, she's like, man, that will make me horny way more than like an actual
sex video.
And that blew my mind.
I can totally understand what she's saying, because the storyline, yeah, makes a difference,
you know, and the other thing I want to say too, which I think is a really good idea is
if she likes erotica, read it together, or listen to an audiobook together, she's going

(30:29):
to get hot.
And boom, you're right into maybe having sex, you know what I mean?
Like use it as for play with her, even if you're not that into it, try it because if it gets
her hot, that's what you want, right?
Yeah, yeah.
No, that is exactly what you want.
And it's just kind of, I feel like guys and girls approach sex just so much differently.

(30:54):
And I really didn't realize or even start to realize this difference until I was like,
maybe 25.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And now it's like, for example, here's how I perceive sex as a guy for most of my life.
It was, listen, if I can crack this code, okay?

(31:16):
And like here, I just need something like this.
Okay, two inches to the right, two deep thrust, one inch to the left, one shallow thrust.
She comes, this formula works on every girl.
I'm going to sell it and I'm going to be rich.
But now it's like you do that and it works on one girl.
And then you do it again to the next girl and say, oh, no, like she's looking at me like

(31:37):
I'm dumb.
It's like, oh, like this mental game seems to be so important for you all.
Like how can us as a guy, like how can we put you in a mentally relaxed place?
Well, have you ever heard of the erotic blueprints?
Everybody has an erotic blueprint.
There's a book out there and a woman who created, brought up this theory.

(31:58):
There are different things that, and everybody has a different one.
Some people, I don't remember all the names of them.
But here's an example.
Some people are sensual.
So like if you get candles or the right feeling blanket or the right lighting, the environment,
the sensuality of it, if that's what that person's turn on is our focus on that.

(32:21):
Other people may have different ones.
They may be auditory.
They might like to hear certain things.
They might like dirty talk.
They might want you to call them dirty names.
You have to find out which one fits and that is how you're going to get them in the mood.
The other thing I want to say is that foreplay starts way before the bedroom.

(32:41):
Almost everything you do in your relationship, it should be looked at is foreplay and it will,
if you're doing, it's like say for instance, you live together and you never help out around
the house, right?
You never do laundry.
You never take out the garbage.
That's going to impact your sex life.
If you do things to make her comfortable and feel appreciated and that she's not doing

(33:04):
everything alone, that's going to play into how she's going to feel when you're going to
have sex and if she's going to want to have sex.
Some women are like, oh, I can't even get in the mood.
There's a laundry basket of unfolded clothes right in the living room or in that bedroom.
That's their roadblock to relax and have sex.
They want that gone.

(33:24):
So you've got to find out what those triggers are for people.
They attention and do it.
It matters.
Don't be an asshole, guys, because if you're an asshole, then it'll be harder to please her.
How does your perception of a partner or a man change if he's incredible in bed and really
pleasing you?

(33:45):
Well, I think if a man is really focused on you and wants your pleasure, that to me is
just a turn on and it's going to make me want to have more sex.
If they are putting my pleasure important as theirs, that's going to make a big difference
for me.
If they want me to come as much as I want to come, that's what I want.

(34:09):
I want someone who wants me to come and every woman is different.
Some women will say, I don't need to come.
I just want to have the pleasure.
Other women are like, I want to come.
I am the kind of person who says, I want to come.
So if that's what the man thinks and buys into that and relentlessly chases that with me,
that's a huge turn on.

(34:30):
It's going to make me want to have more sex.
What about those women that you just described to say, yeah, I don't want to come, sex is
good regardless.
Do you believe they're lying?
Because I think they are.
I think they're lying and the other thing I think is sad is I wonder how much have they
really come?
How much have they really experienced?
How have they really come?
Because these women who don't want to have sex, I'm always like, how?

(34:53):
How could you not?
It feels amazing.
So I think maybe they aren't.
Maybe they don't know because they haven't experienced it yet.
I was talking to somebody recently and it was so sad to me.
What was good and sad at the same time?
The woman was 61 and she came for the first time because she finally started seeking this

(35:14):
stuff out and finally figured out what it was.
So she literally came for the first time at the age of 61.
Like okay, yes, I'm glad you finally came, but all those wasted years because if the focus
wasn't on her, she didn't understand her body.
She didn't communicate me.
Maybe her partner didn't try.
Maybe your partner didn't know what to try, but don't be that.

(35:37):
Don't go there.
That's just really sad.
How did she come?
Was it through a man?
Well, I think what she ended up doing was she started to try sex toys for the first time.
She started to play around with it and then she did it with her partner and that was what
made her calm.
I don't remember exactly the layout it was, but I'm pretty sure that it was sex toys.

(36:01):
But she's kind of one of those people that bought into the whole shame of I shouldn't like
sex.
I'm not sex isn't for me.
That's not important to me.
I'm a mom.
I'm a wife.
Those things are more important than my sexual pleasure.
That's sad and I don't think I feel bad for anybody that ends up in that space.

(36:22):
Oh my God.
All I could think about why you're saying that is like I would love to fuck this 61 year old
woman so bad.
I know, right?
You'll make our comment.
I was shit.
I'm gonna do that or die trying or maybe she'll die first, but yeah, it would be such a
great challenge like holy shit because we think we're all that.

(36:43):
Even though a lot of times we're not, how do you think like how has your view on sex
changed over like maybe the past 20 years of your life?
Oh, it's changed massively.
I would say when I was younger, it was more falling into the, you know, more falling into
the shame and it's taboo.
You do it, but you don't talk about it.

(37:05):
You know, and back then I don't, I wasn't, I didn't know how to calm me there.
Like I had masturbated and stuff like that, but I didn't really understand it.
I didn't really understand my body.
I didn't understand the triggers.
And what really for me, you know, just spending more time on myself and using sex toys really,
really open it up for me like now, you know, but even back then too, maybe I'd have one

(37:29):
or I guess now I know my body so well and I can, I can come multiple times.
The most I've ever come in a single day is 66.
Holy shit.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, give us the details.
Would you eat breakfast?
Tell me about the whole damn day.

(37:49):
Holy shit.
I mean, it's, it's, it's different sex toys.
It's different ways.
You know, it was over an extended period of time, but it was in one day.
But you know, do you know what the max is?
The max for a woman that they've ever figured out how many times that, they called it
circuit.
times can a female, with a total complex circuit in a day, 248. 248.

(38:15):
Okay, well, hey, listen. 249. I gotta be used to go. I'm going 249. I'm gonna
get a girl, one day 249. I'm gonna break science. That's my challenge. Perfect.
Good challenge. Yeah, it's 249. Damn, that's a, I gotta hit the fucking
gym. I have gotta hit the gym. But like what? Because I, it seems like, and

(38:42):
Layla, by the way, is a great example of this. It seems like, like, maybe younger
women, 18 to 24. It seems like sex is like a very intimate, emotional thing.
But it's like, more sacred. I don't know. I'm doing a bad job explaining it. But it
seems like as they get older, a lot of women start to look at sex more kind of like a

(39:06):
man. And Layla is a great example of this. Because she, like, she totally looks at sex
like a man. Did that happen for you? Yes. Oh, absolutely. And I think too, part of it is
too as women do get older. They stop caring so much about what other people, I've talked
to so many women who are like, I just don't give a fuck what people think about me anymore.

(39:28):
I'm gonna do what I want. It's a confidence thing. It's a, I wanna do what I wanna do. And so
that is very true. And I've talked to so many women who are like that. And sex changes
into such a better place for many women when they get to that point because they're more
open about it. They're not as ashamed. For some women, it's, you know, having children

(39:51):
and they're stuck in, you know, childcare. And I'm a mom. And then that label of mom gets
in the way of lover, you know, like to, to be both of those labels. And so that gets
a hang up for some women too. Or they're like, you know, who am I? What am I? You know, gotta
keep that pleasure going. And I think I'm way more open about sex and sexuality than I

(40:14):
was when I was younger, 100%. Yeah. And it, it's really hot, by the way. I think, like
you're saying, a lot, I guess there are some guys or some people out there who will, I
don't know, slut shame or whatever you want to call like, oh, you want to talk about like
sex and like that type of stuff openly, like, oh, you're fucking horrid. But to me, like,

(40:34):
that's very attractive. It's like, oh, wow, you're just as into this thing as I am. So
hey, like we have something that we bond on. It's awesome.
Oh, absolutely. 100%. And I think, I think you're right to like, you know, for me, I, I
do see sex more like a man than I did when I was younger. But I also know I climax a

(40:55):
lot more. So I love it more because I'm having that pleasure all the time. Like I clam, I
everyday, I'm a everyday person.
Congratulations. You should, that's another t-shirt. I'm a everyday person. I like that.
Yeah.
So what about as a partner, right? You have a boyfriend, a husband, whatever. How do you

(41:22):
process the fact that this man most likely, most guys that I've met, think about sex pretty
much like 97% of their day, pretty much almost every woman they see, they're like, I would
love to fuck them. The, the nurse, the barista, all of this, like, they can't turn it off, right?

(41:42):
They constantly want to like have sex with everything who did titties are out, who's
asked her out, like, how do you process this as a partner? Like, does this hurt you? No, this
does not hurt me. In fact, I have to say I have that mentality myself, you know, like I feel
those same things too. And I don't know if it comes from an openness to sexuality or if

(42:05):
it's something else, if it's a level of hormones or testosterone, I'm not really sure what
it is. But I feel that way too. And I was, so I would, I would never be upset if a partner
is like, oh, look at that, that woman's really hot. Well, I'd probably look at her and be like,
oh, fuck yes, she is. But I'm also bisexual too. So, you know, I, I find women attractive as
well. So I don't know, I guess that that really wouldn't bother me. And I think it has to

(42:30):
have to do with how open you are about sex. And what is the sex for? The sex is for pleasure,
right? It's for connecting, but it's also for pleasure. And it's connection between two
people in intimacy, but that doesn't mean you're not attracted to other people. If you weren't,
that would be kind of weird, right? I think it'd be weird if you only attracted to one person
in the world, you know, which some religions say that's how it's supposed to be. Well, that's

(42:54):
not true. It's not human nature. It's not animal nature, right? Animals aren't just attracted
to one day. Sometimes you have multiple mates throughout their lives, you know? Yeah, I don't know.
That is such a great point. Yeah, it's, I think maybe like the past 200, 300 years or something
like that, like monogamy is just extreme. Like it's just that is the way, right? And if you don't do that,

(43:17):
then you're fucking weird. But man, a long time ago, it wasn't that popular or,
you know, they had like even in the Bible, they had quote unquote, "conquibines" aka like women
who I'm just having sex with and stuff like that. And what I kind of feel as a guy, whenever I get

(43:37):
with a partner and I'm in a monogamous relationship with a partner, I feel like I'm almost on a diet
and I'm told, "Hey, Chris, you can never have a cheat day until you die." Okay? And by the way, like,
if you talk to a nutritionist or just read anything, they're like, "Hey, yeah, like diets are cool.
You should do diets." But yeah, like once a week, once a month, whatever, please like cheat because

(44:02):
that's like fucking crazy. You're gonna go mad if you don't have a scoop of ice cream. But whenever
as a guy, I feel like I'm told, "Hey, you want to marry, you want to marry this woman?"
Guess what? You can never have ice cream for the rest of your life. And for myself and a lot of my
friends, this is fucking daunting. This is like hell. Like what are we supposed to do about that?

(44:23):
Man, it's like, I'm just supposed to tell myself every single day, every fucking day, I walk down the
street and see these beautiful women or, you know, see these titties and I'm just, and my body is screaming,
every nervous screaming, go talk to her, go talk to her, get her number, fuck her tonight, get a hotel
room, all of this stuff. Rip her fucking clothes off. And I'm supposed to say, "No, no, you can't do that."

(44:46):
And then tomorrow is the exact same struggle all over again. And it's extremely frustrating. Like,
as guys, how are we supposed to deal with this shit? Well, it depends on your viewpoint. Like, there's
a lot of people out there in alternative lifestyles, polyamory, you know, swinging that don't buy into
the whole monogamy thing. So you have to figure out what you want and the partner that you want,

(45:08):
in final life partner that aligns with what you want. But one guest I had in my show, one time,
put it a good way where they were talking about monogamy or non-monogamy. And he said, "If you
look at your partner and say, I'm not going to ever eat cake ever in my life. And neither are you."
So that's like what you're saying. You know, if you're not okay with that, you know, maybe you need to

(45:32):
find a relationship that is open or, but you have to be in a good place too, because I know a lot of
people will open their marriage or open their relationship. But if it's not healthy relationship to
begin with, you shouldn't do that. I've had a lot of people on my podcast as well talking about,
you know, the open relationships, the swinging, the polyamory. There are alternatives to monogamy,

(45:54):
but both partners have to want it. You know, it have to be okay with that. And so there's different,
there's coaches out there that help people reach that point in their relationships and help them
navigate that. So I don't know, I know what you're saying though, because that's kind of like saying,
yeah, I'm never going to have ice cream ever, ever, ever again. You know, like that's a, that's a

(46:18):
hard thing to think of. Yeah. And I've talked to partners about this in the past. And kind of my,
usually, their concern is this, hey, Chris, I don't want you to fall in love with someone. And I
completely understand that. And I'm very sympathetic to it. But my response is always like, listen,

(46:40):
I'll be honest with you. Sex is like, it's physical for, it's physical. Like, I just want to insert my
cock in a warm hole just to be frank. Like, that's all I want. Like, it's just physical. Like, listen,
I will hire a sex worker, a prostitute, get tested, all of this. I'll never text her again. Like,
listen, it'll just be born. We go in the hotel room and it's done and damn it. The glory. I've had

(47:05):
my scuba ice cream, but, right. It, it, this is an extremely hard conversation. And a lot of guys
get in the dog house for even bringing this up. Right. And I know what you're saying. But if you're
in a stable relationship and you both want it, that's a total different thing. And it's also the
thing of thinking that separating sex from a relationship or intimacy, yes, having sex is a

(47:29):
form of intimacy. But like you're saying, it's just the physical thing of having sex is, it's just
the physical act. And some people cannot see them as separate things, right? And these are the people
that can't handle swinging or polyamory or sex workers and stuff like that. They can't see sex
as separate from a time of intimacy with your partner. Some people can see it as a separate act,

(47:50):
like no different than going fishing with a buddy, you know, and then going back to your partner.
And some people can see it that way, you know, some people can't separate it, but other people can.
So that is the challenge and finding two people that both want the same thing.
Yeah, what is the most successful or the best flavor of non-monogamy that you've seen?

(48:13):
Um, who that's tough to say because I've seen stuff. I've had quite a few guests on that talk about
different ways. I think whatever it is, it's that both partners really want it. And they both,
and it has to kind of go both ways unless the person doesn't want it. If one person is swinging,

(48:33):
seeing others and then the other partner has to have the same opportunities. You can't be like,
I'm going to go do this and then you stay home and you don't get, you don't get to have your cake
or your ice cream, you know, only I'm going to go do that. That's not going to work. They have to
have the opportunity if they choose not to do it, that's fine. But so I think the most successful ones

(48:57):
are people that they both really want it and they want the exact situation that they're in,
which is hard to navigate and find, you know, to find the exact matchup of that person
and what they all wish you both want. Especially whenever it comes to sex, right? Because a lot of people,
listen, this is, this is fucking touchy, right? If you, if you miss step, you know, and like you talk

(49:24):
about it and you say, okay, listen, here's just, here's a hall pass, Mark, here you go. And then let's say
you talk about it, you agree on it and Mark uses that hall pass and he comes home and the woman is like,
oh no, I didn't want that and now I'm devastated, right? So it's really hard to, like, it's hard to
know what you're going to feel like before your partner goes out and has sex with someone else.

(49:49):
Well, maybe that's where you have to have a standpoint of forgiveness and be like, okay,
that didn't work for me. Let's not do that again. Let's, or let's change it to this way or let's only
do it this way. It's, it's kind of like, don't take it to heart so much because if, if your partner
loves you and wants to be with you, sex is just an act. It's like going and getting a massage, right?

(50:12):
It's really not that different. It's just a different part of the body that's experiencing pleasure.
So if you can, if you can, just, you, I think you'd have to approach it with thinking, okay,
we might make mistakes and we're just going to have to go through, you know, go through those feelings
and you'll know them all and then decide how we're going to change,

(50:33):
hoping forward instead of being just so hurt that you can't, that you're, that you're, like, paralyzed.
Yeah, yeah. Would you ever give your partner like a hall pass? Is that your thing?
I would, yeah, but I wouldn't want it to go both ways, you know, I would, I would want the hall pass
myself too. You know, and there's different things too. Like, there's some swingers that go and just

(50:55):
watch people and then they go back and fuck on their own. There's some people that always are
together or some people that are, that do the full swap where they're totally separate. So,
then there's so many variations of that too. Yeah, that, what if he went out had a good time with a
pretty gal and came home and was like happier than like you've ever seen him? Would that hurt your

(51:18):
feelings a little bit? No, that's, that's what's it, but the term they use, "compersion," where it's like you,
if you have "compersion," you like your partner to have pleasure no matter how they get it. Yeah.
Even if it's having sex with someone else and not you, like, do you want your partner to have
the ultimate pleasures? And that's what it's about, you know? People who have "compersion,"

(51:40):
or a lot of people are in those kind of relationships they have that and they just want to see their
partner reach their maximum. Like, I interviewed a, a Dom sub couple and she's starting to realize that
she is a switch, right? So, he is doing things to help her grow her dominant side, even though she's

(52:01):
his submissive. So, this is a man who wants to see her reach her full potential, even though it may
not fit their relationship, but he's still going to be his submissive. But that's true wanting your
partner to reach their maximum because he's wanting her to grow her dominance with other men and

(52:22):
being a dominant to the men, yet she's his submissive, but he wants to help her grow that, right?
That's wanting your partner to have the ultimate pleasure, I think. No, that is real love. Whenever,
like, you know, you say, "Listen, I give a shit about you so much that I want you to do something that
like maybe makes me uncomfortable, but I know it's going to make you happy and I'm happy when you're

(52:46):
happy." Yes, 100%. And they're an amazing couple. I just they're fantastic. That is actually, they should
make a fucking movie after them. It's like, she's a sub, but now like she finds out she has this other
side, like they sound fun. They are, they're, they're podcasters too, so. Oh my gosh. What is their
podcast? Do you know? They're, they're Pedro and Tink. I think it's the, the kitchen sink,

(53:10):
the no, ethical, non-monogamy, the kitchen sink, something. All those words are together, but I'm
doing it in the wrong order. But they're Pedro and Tink. No, she's Tink. He's Pedro. That is
awesome, man. That is, because I guess since we don't talk about sex that much, it's kind of like,
you know, bad, bad. Like, there's a lot of, like, probably cool shit going on out there that we don't

(53:33):
know about. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. If you're not aware of those things, but they are going on
everywhere. Yes, definitely. In your opinion, what is the most important aspect of
Britney Radica that makes it good? Well, if it turns somebody on, you know, that's my goal always,
like, is this turning people on? Is it a good story? Is it hot? You know, do they want more? So for

(54:00):
me, that's, that's the big thing. And I like to write a lot of different things, a lot of different
areas. I like to play around with different things. So, you know, that's my big thing. Is it, you know,
is it going to make them climax or is it going to make them just hot? Either way, that's, that's the
winning, the winning thing. And how do you judge that? Is it, you judge it on yourself? Like, you read

(54:21):
it and it's like, Oh, this is doing something for me. Well, both. If it turns me on, I know that it,
I think it's going to be effective, but I love it when people give me feedback and be like,
Oh, that was so hot. Or, oh, that, you know, even, oh, that made me calm. I love that story. You know,
like, yeah, for sure. So it's both. It's both if it turns me on and then feedback from others.

(54:41):
And so you just, you take all of your inspiration from just day to day life. Like, you look at
a guy mowing the lawn and you're like, Oh, I could do something with that.
Yeah. I am constantly getting ideas. I get ideas from everywhere. People I see things I see
on social media. I just constantly get ideas. Yeah. Someone I see moving a certain way or people
I know even, you know, like, that can be inspiration. I just have so many stories and I just,

(55:06):
I have so many stories to tell and I'm not going to stop.
What do you let them know? Like, if you see a guy in the grocery store and then you write like
some erotica, do you at least be like, Hey, bro, like, I just want to let you know that you're doing
some weird stuff sexually for me and you gave me a great story.
If it was appropriate to the situation or something, I would, yeah, but

(55:28):
if they're like somebody who's with someone who's not open to sex, I probably wouldn't tell them.
Man, that would, do you know, like, you would make my life like, oh, my gosh.
I'm like, man, oh, man, I gotta go. I gotta get a god dog all promotion.
Like, I feel so good, man. I am so like, my self-esteem is so fucking low and I'm so like,

(55:52):
I don't like, the pride for a teacher. I don't want to sound like a fucking weirdo.
I was doing a hike and this woman touched me on the shoulder as she passed.
Oh, yeah. I thought about this shit for like a week. I'm like, I think she wanted to fuck me.
Like, I really do. I'm like, holy shit. I'm like, man. Like Chris. She might have.

(56:13):
Maybe she did. Oh, my gosh. You're feeding back into it. But I'm like, man, maybe, like, maybe I'm not
that ugly or maybe like, like maybe what I was wearing, like, was good. Like, like, the big, like,
overarching theme is like, hey, Chris, like, maybe you're not a complete piece of shit, right?
And so, man, that would be awesome. Like, the female attention in any way is like what makes the world

(56:40):
go round. You'll have the most powerful, the most powerful thing in the world is it nuclear bombs.
It's, it's, it's pussy, right? It's crazy. Yeah. I agree with you. It is. And this is also why
women need to harness their power and, you know, use that. You know, enjoy your pussy. Yeah.
You've got to be aware of it. Don't ignore it. Don't ignore it. It's like so powerful. And that's

(57:04):
the thing is like, listen, girl, like, I know that like everyone's nice to you and stuff. And like,
you think that's because maybe you're smart or something, but it's likely because of what's between
your legs and everybody wants it. Wars were fought over what's in between your legs. Okay.
I know. Right. Use it. Like, oh, my gosh. Listen, from the age of eight, I have fantasized about

(57:26):
this thing, man, even before I knew it, it looked like I was like, what does it look like? Is it just
a whole, like, what? And it's like my whole life, man. I wish like, y'all don't know. It's like,
y'all are like goddesses walking the earth. It's incredible writing, erotica, and like dealing
in this world, which it seems to be like your life, by the way, you seem to live your work,

(57:48):
which is really cool. What do you think you wouldn't be doing? Well, I, I really love to write.
So I started out writing just romance that didn't have sex in it. It was like the closed door romance,
you know, sweet, more sweet romance. And so I probably would still be writing, and I do write
another genres too, like I have nonfiction and stuff like that. But, you know, I just felt like

(58:11):
it wasn't the full story because relationships have fucking in them. They have sex. They should.
So like, I'm like telling these romance stories closed, or I'm like only telling partial stories
here. I'm not telling the full thing because you can tell a lot about a person when you're having sex.
Their vulnerability, their things can come out during sex that don't come out anywhere else. So I

(58:31):
feel like people who don't include sex are leaving out part of the, one of the most important parts
of the stories. So, you know, when I do have, I do have other degrees, like I'm a nurse. I have
a nursing degree. So if I weren't writing, I might be, you know, still working as a nurse, but I'm not,
I'm not now because I'm doing all of this, but yes, I worked as a nurse. That is like, that's a movie.

(58:56):
Okay, that is a movie plot, right? The nurse who's like kind of like, of, you know, a closet,
like freaky sexual girl, and she writes her rotica, and it may or may not be about some of the patience,
which you think about. Well, there's a lot of people in my life who do not know that I do this.
A lot of people, there aren't very many people I do know, in fact. Okay, this, now I'm thinking about like

(59:23):
my cousins, my female friends, like, what if they, what if they are like writing on the side, you know,
yeah, they never know. The weird podcast or guy with the yellow shirt on, you know,
do you like your yellow shirt? It's a good color. Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

(59:45):
Um, I'm going to be thinking about that compliment for two days. Uh, what do you, would you,
would you ever like collaborate with another writer and turn that into a rotica or something like that
in this type of fashion? Like, or something like this. Let's say after the podcast, and this is
hypothetical, okay, I'm not like being a fucking creep. Uh, after the podcast, she text me is like,

(01:00:09):
oh my gosh, you look so sexy in that, in that yellow shirt, and I text you and I'm like, oh my gosh,
like that mask, you know, oh girl, you were just doing it for me. Them sweater puppies are just sitting
beautiful, all of this stuff. Like, and do you ever like sex or like kind of like role play a little bit
to get material? I have not done that, but I have like had discussions with people not necessarily like

(01:00:34):
sex, seem to like get off, but with other writers, just kind of more like brainstorming and talking
about situations. So sort of, but not quite that far, I guess, but that's, so that'd be a good way
to do it too, to get some content. And yeah, it would be fun. You know, I've done things too where like
somebody's come to me and, you know, paid me to write a certain story with certain things in it,

(01:00:55):
writing commissions. I've done that too. So that's kind of like, you know, writing something to what
turns somebody on and what he get into a story. Yeah. Well, it sounds like material, you're not
lacking of that, right? No, I have too many, I have too many stories and I have partially started
stories that I have to go back to. I, yeah, I am not lacking in the content area. Is that how it is?

(01:01:19):
Like you do like, like you think about it and then you rough draft and then you publish, like how does
that process look like? Yeah, and it's different for everyone lately. I've been writing things really
quickly, like I'm a pretty fast writer. Like I could write, you know, if I'm really nothing going
on, I can write four or five thousand words in a morning, which, you know, I can crank things out

(01:01:41):
quickly, but I'm, you know, doing the podcast and doing audio books, which takes so much more time
to edit, you know, the audio books are what take the longest to edit and the one for the podcast to it.
You narrate something, say you narrate it in an hour, well, it's going to take you three to four
times as long to edit that piece as it to narrate it. So I'm trying to do both things, but if I were

(01:02:03):
just strictly only writing, I would make even more content because the narrating or the editing of the
audio takes up a lot of time. Yeah, it is writing a rata, kind of like lucrative. Would you recommend
someone go into this if they want to make some money? If you, if you can find your audience, yes,
but you have to be able to find your audience and, you know, you want to pick something that you're

(01:02:27):
really passionate about because if you're not passionate about it, you're not going to be coming up
with this content. You know, like I know some writers that only do hot wife stuff and they just hot
wife, hot wife, hot wife, and you know, they have to find all these different angles of hot wife.
I do lots of different areas, but some people find success in doing that too, where they really just
focus on one particular thing or in if they're going to focus on another thing, then they might do

(01:02:50):
another pen name. Like I know one who does that and then she does like the fantasy erotic or it's like,
you know, alien fucking and stuff like that. And so she has a new pen name for those kind of things,
where it's like octopus fucking or, you know, I just did one called for the love of the goddess
and that one is all about, you know, like the centaurs and, you know, those kind of things,

(01:03:16):
what about one or the other things, a bird woman, you know, and they're like having sex. So,
you know, people who like that kind of fantasy realm and there is that kind of erotic out there as well.
Oh, a bird woman, because I think birds have cloacas aka one hole that does everything like,

(01:03:36):
you know, all of the bathroom stuff and the sex stuff. I think you're right.
Yeah, I think I'm almost positive chickens have it, but that could get so interesting or like
dog fucking because don't fuck all the time. Yeah. Would you like on a scale of one to 10,

(01:03:58):
how big of a freak would you call yourself? Well, I think I'm pretty much a freak, not that I've
done everything that turns me on, but I think I'm a pretty big freak. Yeah. I don't know. I'm thinking
I'm a nine. Is that appropriate for me to ask you? Oh, I asked me whatever you want. I have no
problem. That's right. Thanks. What are you underwear? I'm just joking. I don't wear underwear.

(01:04:22):
That that fired. Okay. That's fine. No, I'm always coming in though. I don't like to wear
underwear unless it's for a poor play. Oh, my God. You put on underwear for sex. Oh, my gosh.
You are like next level man. You are you are nine. I can attest like in my you are a fucking nine,

(01:04:48):
man. If you likes panties, I'll pull panties on. Yeah. I like full back panties. Like I don't know
what's up with the dogs and stuff and everyone is. Oh, yeah. Give me some granny panties. Oh, my gosh.
I don't like the thongs either. I mean, if I wear them, they're going to be on for just a very
short time and that fucker is coming off because it's not comfortable. Yeah. What don't they serve

(01:05:11):
like some purpose for y'all or something? Nah, not that I know of. I think they suck, but they're
uncomfortable to me. It's like basically if they're just going to be part of for play, I'll wear one,
but you know, and especially, oh, I remember this one time, I tried wearing a lacy bong. I wanted to
fucking murder someone. It was so painful and uncomfortable that lace like rubbing on your skin.

(01:05:34):
I had to go to the bathroom and take them off and I shoved them on my purse and then I decided
to throw them away because they were horrible. Lacy thongs are not a good thing. Yeah. They don't look
fun, but the internet has convinced us that women love them. So yeah, I don't know, not me.
How does it feel to be like sexually objectified by a man? So like for example, like you post,

(01:06:01):
like, you know, like not you're not like only fans like look at, you know, but like you'll post
like some booby pictures a little bit, not nipples. And like of course, this gets guys turned on.
Like does that bother you that objectification? No, because for me, exhibitionism is a turn on.
Like I like to turn people on. I like people to look at me and think, oh, that's sexy. So for me,

(01:06:24):
it's not an issue. Some women might be offended by that, but for me, it's part of one of my kinks.
You know, I like that. And what I think is really cool is a whole only fan stuff is that women are
choosing who are like me who like to do this and who like to be objectified and they're turning around
making money on it. Entrepreneur, man, you know what I'm saying? They like it. It's turned, you know what I

(01:06:47):
mean? And I'm probably on some level that turns them on. Or they wouldn't be doing it. Right.
This is so interesting. A couple days ago, I talked to need a godwin who is, she's like 48,
she has big old fucking incredible titties. Oh my gosh. And she does only fans and she posts like,

(01:07:09):
you know, kind of like sexy, look at my titties, bounce on Instagram and stuff like that. Yeah. And
I did a podcast with her. She also coaches women on how to make more money on only fans.
Oh yeah. She had it all beauty and brains, everything. Awesome. But that was what she said. She was
like, I had all of this sexual energy. I had all of this. Like I wanted to be objectified. I wanted

(01:07:33):
to feel like a sexual like object. Like that was a part of what she said. And she said that when she
was in her 20s, that's how she presented herself dress slutty, look at my big tits, all of this.
And she kind of got, she kind of got with an asshole. And so what she does, she does now, she got a new
man is she says, Hey, look, you know what? I'm going to get all of this sexual energy out on only

(01:07:57):
fans. I'm going to feel desired and all of this. And now, hey, I don't look for this sexual energy
on the streets. So she made a great compelling case and why like, not only can you become very rich
on only fans, but it can also be healthy in all ways. And she's owning it. She's doing what she wants.
Yeah, she owns it. That sounds exactly like my friend Ray Richmond. She'd be a great guest for you

(01:08:21):
too, but she's 56 and she just started doing only fans. And she's, she's in the top. I mean, she's fantastic.
She's doing, I have so much respect for her because she's doing what she wants. And she doesn't care
what people say to her. This is what she wants to do. She wants to be sexy. And I totally get all of

(01:08:43):
that. I 100% get it. It's their sexuality and they're, they're embracing it. They want to share it.
You know exactly that's exactly what need to say. I mean, you sound like her. It's crazy.
I do hear some women complain about I don't want to be a sexual object all the time or I don't
want to be sexualized and maybe the gym or something like that. But I just kind of, I can't,

(01:09:08):
I kind of don't understand or maybe I disagree because honestly, I would love if someone were to
look at me as a sexual object for once. Oh my gosh. That would be awesome. And also too, like whenever
I look at someone as a sexual object, it's a compliment. I'm not degrading you. I'm saying like,
oh my gosh. Like you are such a work of art that I would like to lay with you naked. What a great

(01:09:32):
compliment, right? You know where I think it comes from. I think it comes from our culture because
and I heard this recently was described this way and it perfectly makes sense to me. Women in our
culture are asexualized and hypersexualized. They're shamed for everything. Yeah.
You know, for not wanting sex for wanting too much sex for being too sexy for not being sexy enough.

(01:09:53):
You know everywhere we turn we're being shamed. So I think it actually comes from culture
to feel like, you know, I don't want to be objectified because like you're saying it's a compliment.
Hey, you're sexy. You're amazing. I want to get with you. I would love to be in your zone
near you for even a little bit of time. I think it's a compliment too. So I think it comes from our

(01:10:16):
society, honestly, it's brainwashing people into thinking that you don't want people to think that
you're attractive. But we all, but yeah, we all want people to think we're attractive. So it literally
makes no sense. It does. And also to those girls who kind of say that, they're always like very attractive,
right? Go talk to like the ugly nerdy girl who has never been kissed. And she's totally fine.

(01:10:38):
And she desperately wants to be kissed. Like she would love to like just for once just to be like
desired like an object like to be put above all else for like just a day. And just to say,
you know what? You know, nerdy girl in the corner like, I want you so bad that I'm not going to
drink or eat today. I'm just going to make sure that you feel incredible, right? So it's kind of

(01:11:01):
like almost like a point of privilege. Just like, listen, you're so broken hot that you're like,
you're tied up stiff-warming guys. But you know, I bet it feels worse to be like not desired at all.
All right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know exactly what you're saying. I agree. Yeah. And also too with the
gym stuff. Okay. Okay. Because a lot of girls like, right, they wear some scantily stuff to the gym.

(01:11:27):
Or they wear like the leggings, right? With the sports bra on stuff like that. I love them, right?
And guess what? Yeah. Am I staring at your ass? Yes, I am. Absolutely. I am. And you're not going to
stop me either. I'm not going to be a creep, but it helps. Like it's almost like they're doing a service
to damn society because guess what? I'm lifting them weights or I'm on that treadmill. And all I want is

(01:11:51):
a distraction. And your beautiful booty is it. So I encourage you. Hey, dress bloody to the gym,
please. Right. And why does it? Why did it have to become a bad thing to be attractive? Which is
so funny because we all strive to be attractive. Why are they not returning it around and saying,
okay, but I don't want you to think I'm attractive. Like it literally, it doesn't really make sense.

(01:12:13):
You know, we're all trying to be attractive yet. Then you'll look at someone be like,
why don't you think I'm attractive? Like what? Doesn't it depend on the guy though? Isn't there
the thing? Yeah. The handsome guy is like, hey, nice pants. And she's like, and then like the ugly
guy is like, hey, nice pants. And she's like, sexual harassment. You think that's what's going on?

(01:12:36):
It's just like ugly guys getting the attention. Right. I don't know. I just think it's
whacked. I mean, I want people to think I'm attractive. Why wouldn't I? You know, like that doesn't
offend me. I'd be like, oh, cool. Awesome. That's a turn on, right? Yeah. It's a great thing.
Questions, guys are too afraid to ask. Oh, I think we kind of talked about this one. The first,

(01:13:00):
if she doesn't come, did I fail? I think that it's not just on him. She needs to communicate too. You
know? Yeah. Like, well, what is it that you need to come? Yeah. Tell them. And react. Don't do this.
And the thing is if you fake an orgasm, you're giving them fake information. Like you were talking
about earlier, you're gathering intel. Well, you're giving them a false lead. If you're fake in it,

(01:13:23):
you're hurting yourself because you're giving them evidence of something they think is working
when it's really not. That's such a great point. Do girls like to be taken to pound town every time
we have sex? Well, I do, but I like, I like, you actually have two houses in pound town. I heard.

(01:13:44):
Exactly. I think, you know, and I think too, that does also depend on how much pressure a woman likes
on her clit. So, you know, like, I like, I like strong, fast pressure. So I'm going to like that, right?
Yeah. Other women who maybe don't like that maybe wouldn't like it.
Do you judge my dick size when I take my pants off for the first time?

(01:14:07):
No. I mean, if I'm going to do that, then I'm going to be wondering, are you going to be judging me?
And I'm hoping you're not going to be judging me for saying, you know, oh, that's, you know, we're not
perfect. No one's perfect, right? So, you know, I'm, I'm not going to be doing that. I'm more interested in
what you're going to do with that dick than what it looks like. Another t-shirt, what you're going to do

(01:14:30):
with that dick? That would be a good t-shirt. What you're going to do with it is like,
could you imagine as a guy is like, oh, you have a sexy time? And she takes off her top and underneath
it is a shirt that says, what you're going to do with that dick? That would actually be quite

(01:14:51):
a comical. That would be fun. That would break the ice, definitely.
Break the tension. Do girls really like swallowing?
I think that, I think what they really would like is the fact that they're giving their man pleasure,
more than that I like to do this. You know what I mean? It's more about

(01:15:13):
getting them excited and like, you know, see she ate it and that kind of, and having some women like the
control of it, we're like, I can make him come when I want to. Like, you know, like it's a power trip
thing, which isn't a bad thing. I think it's, you know, you're taking them through the man through
an experience, right? You like to go through an experience yourself. Maybe you, you know, like to do
that back. Of course, yes, I totally agree with you. Well, no, I think that's different. I was going to

(01:15:38):
say something, but are you less impressed with me if you have an orgasm due to a sex toy and not my
dick while we have sex? Absolutely not. Because I, for I for one, think that sex toys enhance the
sexuality and they do different things. If you care enough to take the time to use that sex toy on

(01:16:01):
me to the point of making me calm, I love it. I love that you're doing that. You know, there's no,
there's nothing negative about that. And also, say you've been having sex for a while and you want
to break and you're tired, but she's still horny. Yeah. Lay down and use a sex toy on her. That's
a, that's a, a break time. You, doesn't mean you couldn't redo it again later. It's a time to extend

(01:16:22):
her because women take advantage of this multiple orgasm thing that women can do. Keep going if you're
but, you know, like you can take her into crazy heights and make her just get to this psychedelic
like state because of so many orgasms. Do it. Yeah, that's so interesting because guys were so
priceless, right? It's got to be my dick. Oh, man, you better put the deal away, right? But it sounds

(01:16:45):
like like the impression that I'm getting from talking to people like you and other, you know,
sexually open women who let me pick their mind. The impression that I get as a guy is that, hey,
you're a person and use all of your tools, your fingers are tools, your tongue is a tool, your dick is
a tool. Yes. All of this like the way you talk to me beforehand, do you take out the trash? This is

(01:17:09):
a tool, a sex toy is a tool. And if you're skilled with it just like if you're skilled with your mouth,
then that's just as good, right? Oh, 100%. And that also gives it a very, very, very experience
during your sex session. If you can do all these different things and like I like to use sex toys
every time, you know, that's different sensations and I can come multiple times. So why would I not

(01:17:32):
like all these different things? And that's never a deterrent for me. It's actually a plus, not a
deterrent. Yes, absolutely guys, we need to get this through our heads. This is so hard though. This is
so hard because, um, yeah, we see and also you're controlling that toy. So you are giving in the
orgasm, you know, whether you're using your fingers, your tongue, your nose, whatever your toes,

(01:17:55):
I don't know whatever you're using, if you're using the toy, you're still giving her an orgasm.
Exactly. Yeah. And if it was all about like, you know, hey, a dildo can really replace a guy
or whatever, we would have been replaced a long time ago, right? They've got like fantasy shit
out there. They have like fucking machines that are actually go like different species and stuff like
this. So like, guys, like that girl does want you to be the, the carpenter and build the house and

(01:18:20):
use the tools the best you can, man. So I know, I know that's hard. Hey, listen, you know, make sure
you dick game strong, but hey, maybe practice these other things too. And, yeah, and there's, there's
more, you know, your relationship is more than just sex. I mean, obviously sex is an important part,
you're going out to dinner, you're having fun together. So sex toys could never replace a human

(01:18:42):
being at silly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think just for us guys, it's like, we just so physical and
stuff like that, like we just, you know, like I said, like a lot of times I really do just create
poking a warm hole. And I wish it was more complicated than that. But it's really not like if I had like
one of those sex toys, I would just love to, oh, got to, but sometimes it is like that. And so

(01:19:06):
like we think sometimes, or girls is like that and that she could just take a cucumber and just
ram it up there and, you know, have 287 orgasms, but it's more than that. More than that. Do girls
actually like suck in dick? Again, I think for me, it's, yeah, I think that, you know, there can be

(01:19:28):
pleasure in just using your mouth and feeling things with your mouth. And also just the, the pleasure
is giving your partner. Like for me, it's more about, you know, what pleasure can I provide doing that
in just being able to like again, the same thing as I just said, it taken him through that experience.
I don't know, I guess for me, it's both, you know, there can be some oral pleasure in that just,

(01:19:51):
you know, just kind of fun to do. And the, the results you get, the pleasure you're providing
your partner. Is it okay to do the shove the head gag the thing or is that a poor thing? Like,
do girls actually like that type of shit? I don't know. I don't, I can't say that I particularly
love it, but I'm sure there may be some women out there. I hate to speak for other people, but there

(01:20:13):
is definitely a, a dominance to that too. So I guess if you're ever going to do that, make sure you
talk about it first. Don't just try it. That's a thing too. I think people need to talk about stuff
instead of just trying something. You know what I mean? Especially if it's something out of the norm.
Don't just solve this and try something during sex. If it's something like that, you need to talk

(01:20:34):
about it first and be like, is this a turn on for you? Do you want to try it? Right. But see, like,
you're very intelligent, you're a nurse, you're a great writer, you're smart, you're mature. Like,
yo, your guys out here, this hookup culture, listen, they wake up and they're like, I need to get my
dick with today and I have no prospects. And so they go to the bar, you know, say they try to

(01:20:56):
pick up the girl. There's some freaky little things out there and they're like, oh, and so like,
a lot of times with these hookup sex type things. Like guys, you just like, oh, you know, the last girl
liked it so fuck it. Like, is it? Right. Like, is it even possible to please a woman on a one-night
stand if you've met five hours before sex? I think it's a lot harder for women like for men,

(01:21:20):
because men just come easier, you know, you're all on the outside and it's just easier to stimulate.
So, you know, I think if it's gonna happen, there has to be like her saying, you know, she's a
communicate during like, yes, just like that. Keep doing that. Keep going. Don't stop, don't stop.
If you're communicating like that during a hookup, then maybe you will come, but if you just

(01:21:41):
don't say anything, you, you might not, because you're not giving any information. And like you said,
just because one woman liked it before doesn't mean that this next woman is gonna be like,
that's my key, that's my trigger, you know? So if as a guy, if you do knock her socks off on a one-night
stand, it's probably like, there's probably some luck in it, right? Mm-hmm, probably. Or she's being

(01:22:07):
overly expressive. And then he's thinking, oh, she likes this and they, they keeps doing it, you know.
That's communication during, right? You know, if you're like, if she's screaming her head off of what
you're doing, if she's being honest in her screaming and not faking it, is she make on, yeah? Yeah,
yeah. That's true. I guess if you have some skills as a guy, does sex with or without a condom

(01:22:31):
make a big difference to you women? I do not like condoms. I never have. I think it feel, it doesn't
feel nearly as good with a condom on. And I hate to say that because I know it helps prevent,
you know, people getting pregnant and diseases and all that. But it's true that you're the skin
on skin just feels fucking better. It just does. Yeah, what is it to about like a lot of girls

(01:22:55):
are like, come in me, come, like I want your come, give it to me. Like what is this like some primal
stuff that like, that's in our DNA so that we can procrate? Because that's always been weird. I'm like,
I know you, you probably can't feel it. And if you do, it's probably not like giving you sexual
arousal. Like what is that? Is that a kink? I think it's a kink. And I think too, that's also kind of like

(01:23:19):
like a claiming or marking maybe I think it's primal. I think it's instinctual. It's, it could be
related to breeding, you know, like, you know, I, you know, I want you to be so turned on that you
lose your calm inside me. Like to me, that's hot. The thing, you know, that you're that turned on,
that you're just, you're going to lose it. And it's going to be inside me. To me, that is hot. And

(01:23:41):
for me, I mostly notice it because there's like more wetness, you know what I mean? Like it's not,
there's a suddenly it's more like sloshy. That is awesome. I've always thought that too. Or like, is
it a compliment if a guy prematurely ejaculates like three minutes, bam. Like is that a compliment? Are you

(01:24:05):
pissed? If you're going to keep pleasuring me, I'm all right. But if you're going to be done,
I'm going to be like, damn it. That sucks. You know, like, I want more in, you know, so it can go either
away. And it depends on what's happened before it. This is a, this is also a reason to do lots of
foreplay and make her come during foreplay. Then rather than waiting till the actual penetration,

(01:24:27):
because if she's calm already before you even do the penetration, then she's already got something,
anything more after that is just going to be a fucking bonus for her, you know?
Yes. And that's also a good tip for guys that I used to do is like, you do the foreplay and you,
you bring her up to the point where she is literally begging you to fuck her. Like she is like,

(01:24:51):
yes, stop, stop fingering me, stop licking me, fuck me now. And as a guy, like you have two,
or I think I have two choices. I can either continue and make you come from foreplay or I can just,
you know, ram it in and in like 30 seconds, just get one out the way, depending on my movie.
Right. And I think they're both good options. I think it's really good to make her come first,

(01:25:16):
but isn't that really what you want? You want her to be begging for your cock. I mean, that's like
the ideal thing. You know, she's really hot. She's enjoying herself too. I mean, this is, this is
a win-win. Yes. And guys, when you get her to that point, you will know, um, because that,
that little pretty damsel will get like very forceful. Fuck me. Like she'll, she'll get a demon

(01:25:41):
inside of her real quick. It's like, oh shit. Like you were just baking me cookies 30 minutes ago.
And you know, and find out what they like to like if they like dirty talk. Like I happen to love
dirty talk. So if they like dirty talk, throw that in there at that point. That's going to even
rage it up even higher for her. And you. Yes. Like what, how would you dirty talk? Where she's begging you

(01:26:05):
to fuck her? Like what should a guy say to turn her on? I don't even know. Well, there's different
things you could do. Like for instance, you could say no, I'm going to edge you more. Like you could take
control of the situation and be like, you know, be like a dominant me like, no, I'm going to edge
you further and we'll do that in a little bit. Like if you want to take control that way, um,
I forgot your question. I got so absorbed in that answer.

(01:26:27):
I've written about that dirty talk. Like if a girl's begging you to fuck her, like because you're just
you're just eating that thing like it's meatloaf. Um, yeah. Like how do you dirty talk that as a guy?
Like you said, you could say, no, I'm, you know, don't tell me what to do. I'm going to edge you or

(01:26:47):
right. Or you could say, I'm going to, pretty soon, I'm going to fuck you like a whore or we know if
you like that. You know what I mean? Like you can get really huge. You can just really intensify it
at that point, man. I mean seriously. She likes dirty talk. Cool. Go go go. Yo, I'll be honest. Yo,

(01:27:15):
I'll be honest. I am scared to have sex with you, not saying that I'd ever would. You know,
obviously we're probably hundreds of miles away. You probably have part all this, but like holy shit,
you, your bag is big because there's lots of tricks in it, bro. Holy shit. Oh my gosh. Yes. That's true.

(01:27:35):
Like holy shit. Or maybe it's the opposite. It's like, oh, it'd be a great challenge. Do you think
about other men when you masturbate in a relationship? I think that everyone does. And I think
if someone says they don't, I think they're lying, this goes back to where you were talking about how
you look around and see people are attractive. Our brains are wired for variety and change. So to think

(01:28:00):
that you're only going to be attracted to one person, the rest of your life, that's not even human
nature. You can be devoted to one person in monogamy, but that doesn't mean you're not going to
notice all the other people out there. I mean, you're not blind. You know, I like the word you use
there, devoted. And that's a great thing. It's like, hey, essentially, listen, you are my main thing.

(01:28:24):
You are my love, you're my heart and everything, but my dick still works.
My pussy still works. I interviewed one woman who helps people become
open relationships. And the way they refer to each other is they're their nesting partner.
Like they're married and they both swing and they both, you know, polyamory and all that,

(01:28:49):
but they look at each other as their family, their nesting partner. So they're, you know,
she'll say my nesting partner and I and then my boyfriend and I. So like, there's a difference.
They're devoted to each other. They're married. They're a family. The nesting partner is for
different things than the boyfriend, you know? And that's a great way to put it to.

(01:29:12):
That is that distinction that because it really is, it's, it's, it's commitment. It's, hey,
listen, through everything, the sick and the poor, all of this stuff, I am, I'm committed to you.
And it may be bumpy, but damn it. Like, I am okay working that stuff out. And that is something
that I would never give to anybody else. That is just for you because you are my nesting partner.

(01:29:36):
You're my heart. And I think that that's a great, it's a great way to put it. Do you get mad if our
dick keeps slipping out while you're on top? I wouldn't get mad. I mean, it can be a little frustrating
if it keeps happening, but, you know, I'm on what are you going to do that ends up being, you know,
physics sometimes. I don't know. I mean, you could just try to like wipe off the dick with a towel

(01:30:03):
to make it less lick. Maybe you have too much wetness. I mean, that can happen. That's a thing you can
get too much wetness. You know, there's such a thing as being too wet because a little bit of friction,
you want that little bit of friction, right? These I do. I think that's to me that's, that's the
arousing thing. If it's, if it's, that's the same thing as like, sex and water is really not that great.

(01:30:26):
If you ever had sex and water, it's really not that great. It ripped my dick a little bit in all
honesty. It ripped my like, not serious, but it there was blood. Yeah, she, and she was like on top.
It was a swimming pool thing. And I was like, come on, baby, slide down. And wow. Yeah, that's a great

(01:30:46):
point. It's not good. It messes with the juices. I mean, get out of the pool and lay on the side and
fuck, you know, lay on the side of the pool, get out of the water. Yes, man, that, that is something
I had to learn that the hard way. Unfortunately, movies, porn, all of that in philosophy. Yeah, it's
a glorified. Yeah, thought it would be hot. Are you turned on by my dick picks?

(01:31:09):
I am not offended by dick picks. I'm probably going to get like 500, right?
I think that's just the same thing as like a woman posting a sexy picture online. You know, it's like
you, you, we want to be sexy to each other, right? We want people to think we're sexy. So
and men are very focused on their cocks. So it's not a surprise that they like to send dick picks

(01:31:33):
because to them, that's like you said, you know, that's kind of your glory. That's your,
that's your pride, your cock, you know? So it doesn't really offend me. I just kind of see it
the same way as women who like to post sexy picks, but I know a lot of people get offended. Like,
I know a lot of women, someone sends the dick pick, oh, you know, block instant block and they're like

(01:31:53):
just all like, I don't know, they get all up on their high horse and I'm like, and they're probably turn
around posting, if you're turning around posting sexy picks and you're getting pissed that people are
sending you sexy picks and I kind of look like I have a cred. I'm sorry, but maybe you're not
naked, maybe you're not, maybe that's the difference. They're saying, I'm not posting naked, but

(01:32:14):
they're sending me a naked dick. Okay. I guess I can understand, but yeah, that is a fair point.
And as a guy, I want to show everyone my dick. Like, I'm just like, like, I'll, I'll send a dick pick
to my girl. I'm like, listen, if your friend wants to see, it's completely okay. Go ahead. I don't
care if she wants to see a person. It's like, hey, here it is. Would you care if she was showing people

(01:32:34):
or pussy then? If you were showing people your dick? Oh, that's a damn good question. Okay, ruin.
Podcasts over. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Like, honestly, I am open. Like,
I'm the type of guy. Like, if I'm sitting in a hot tub with my girl and I have like some friends

(01:32:55):
or whatever over, I'm like, hey, yeah, show your tits. I don't care. Like, I don't care if my buddy sees
your boobs or like even news or anything like that. It's like, hey, look how hot my girl is.
Right. The problem with like, you know, me and my guys hanging out be like, hey, look at my girl's
incredible fucking pussy is I know how they think. I know there are some dirty, nasty motherfuckers.

(01:33:18):
And I can't then get it out of my head that like, the thing seen my cousin is thinking about banging
my girl. Oh my gosh. I know he is. He may be regardless. But if I show him the push, it's like,
duh. You're right. Right. I am probably am insecure about that. You're right.
But I think that is all I had, ruin. Thank you so much for coming on. How can people find you?

(01:33:46):
You can find me on my podcast, which is on all the podcast apps. Oh fuck yeah, with ruin. Willow.
It's also on pod nation TV, which you can find that TV channel on Roku TV devices and fire TV
devices. I'm also on the full swap radio, internet radio station for my podcasts. I have books
all on the online sellers, Amazon, Audible. So I have a lot of books and audio books. And I'm like

(01:34:13):
kind of all the social media. And so yeah, look for me on the ruin willow. I'm on all the pretty much
all the book publishers, Barnes and Noble, Google Apple, Amazon, all of them. Just most pretty much all of them.
It's Spotify. So yeah. And let's see what else could I say. Oh, my website is ruinwillowauthor.com.

(01:34:36):
So yeah, come find me interact with me. I love to interact with people on social media.
Cool. Yeah. And I'll put your link tree in the show notes. And so it'll be easy for people to just
click it, go find all that good stuff. Once again, ruin, you are awesome. Thank you for tolerating my
crazy questions and have a constant positive attitude. Thank you. I had a total blast talking with you.

(01:34:58):
I really had a lot of fun. So thank you for having me.
All right. I'm gonna be crazy.
[Music]

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#38 Ruan Willow | Exploring sex, communication, dirty talk, and taboo subjects with an erotica author and podcaster

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#38 Ruan Willow | Exploring sex, communication, dirty talk, and taboo subjects with an erotica author and podcaster