Asking for a Friend Pt. 2 | Real Questions. Real Talk. No Holding Back - Between Sermons // Audio

Episode Transcript
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Ti’heasha Beasley (00:00):
Foreign.

Pastor Brent McQuay (00:09):
Hey, everybody, and welcome to another episode
of Between Sermons. I'm your host, Brent
McQuay. I'm the lead pastor at Disciples
Church. If you don't know me or
you don't know this show, let it
let you know a little bit about
what we do here. We are continuing
our conversation from this past Sunday, where
we go a little bit deeper into
some of the topics and the text
that we look at in the sermon,

(00:30):
trying to turn that monologue from the
stage into an actual dialogue. You can
kind of think of this as you're.
You're participating in a small group right
now as. As we kind of wrestle
through some of these topics. But this
is actually a very special episode because
all month long, we are answering your
questions. And so last week you gave
us about 300 questions, and I foolishly

(00:51):
said that I was going to answer
all of them. And so this is
probably going to be a little bit
of a longer episode. But hey, I
think you're here for it, right? So
we're gonna get into a bunch of
questions today, and Tyisha is going to
help us navigate all of that as
our co host.

Yes, I'm excited. I have all the
questions here. Thanks for the iPad.

All 32, 33 questions we're going today.
But here's my goal. I'm going to
get Taisha to answer a question today.
No, because last week, if I'm. If
I remember correctly, you didn't answer a
single question. I mean, that's all you
did was ask that.

It was that in my job description
to answer.

Yes, actually, we. We have a. We
have a line of job descriptions. Say
anything necessary for the furthering of ministry,
man.

Okay, so I'll answer the one, but
I'll let you and Pastor Asa welcome.
Pastor Asa, what's happening?

Pastor Asa Slaughter (01:42):
How are you?

I'll let you guys handle. Do the
heavy lifting. I do have a thought.
Are we doing next year? Are you
going to say submit your questions and
we do, or we're gonna put a
cap to it?

I. Part of me wants to try
and just keep this whole. We're gonna
answer the question. I just. I don't
know what happens when we hit like,
400 questions.

Right.

And 500 questions.

It's gonna happen.

You know, maybe one day we get
a thousand questions, and maybe at that
point we just say, hey, look, we're
just gonna answer your questions for the
year. Like, and it's just maybe, maybe
every between sermons, we have, like, our
conversation, and then we. We close with,
like, 10 questions.

I like that.

That's a decent idea.

Yeah, we got some. Some thought. Or
I have some thoughts.

You have thoughts.

Because he has to answer all 300,
so.

Yeah, yeah. But. But the reason why
I love this and the reason why
I do want to continue just answering
everybody's questions is like, I hate the
idea that somebody has a question they
can't find answers. And. And I don't
for a minute think that we're the
best ones to answer some of these
questions, or we're definitely not the only
ones to answer the questions. But we.
We are leading a local body, and
if the local body has questions, I

(02:46):
don't want them to have to sit
on those things.

Yeah, yeah.

So we're gonna. We're gonna answer questions.
All right.

We've been getting a lot of good
feedback, so you must be answering the
questions to their standards.

Only standard that matters is one standard.

I think it also helps that I,
you know, I preface everything by saying,
you know, I reserve the right to
disagree with myself.

Yeah.

So if I can disagree with me,
you can disagree with me, too. And
that's.

Have you had someone disagree with your.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Really?

Yeah. Because, I mean, so many things
are the questions that people are asking.
When it's like a definitive. Like, it's
easy. The Bible says this. But so
few of the questions that come in
are like, hey, the Bible says this
specific thing. It's. A lot of it
is like, you know, how do we
interpret this? Hey, there's this gray area
that the Bible doesn't even talk about.
A lot of it comes down to
opinion and best, I guess, interpretation. Yeah,

(03:37):
well, you know, there's no direct passage
about that, but we can take kind
of the context of these other things.
Things and apply it this way. But,
yeah, yeah, there's a lot of things
that just have multiple views, so it
just depends on where you're at.

That's true. Well, how do you feel
about the question series?

I think it's great because Pastor Brent
gets to answer the majority of them,
so it's awesome.

As long as he's the one asking.

Yeah, it's good, though, because some of
those questions, I mean, I've been dealing
with, like, in my men's group, some
of the stuff we were talking about
the day. Not the day before, but
the Tuesday before that, Sunday. And I'm
sitting there like, well, that question, he
answered that better than I answered it
on Tuesday. So that's good. But. So
it is a legit thing where people
have a lot of questions and they

(04:18):
need answers. For most of them, I
would say they need to hear something.
They need to get a little bit
of guidance or at least understand that
we're not going to have all the
answers, period, because we're just not. We're
not God, and we're not going to
have all of the answers. And you
have to do with some of this
stuff what you feel is right based

(04:38):
on what you read in the Word,
based on. Get some counsel. But you
got to put all those things together
and come to a conclusion to what
leads me closer to Jesus.

Here's the thing that I wonder how
many people actually think about is that
I have questions. I'm the pastor, but
I have questions.

That's real.

That's. It's a very real.

Did you submit your own questions?

I didn't, but that would be probably
just because I would have to answer
it. I can't. I can't put that
one in writing because then I have
to come up with an answer, and
I'm still questioning. Kind of fun.

That would be fun.

All right. Before we jump in, though,
Asa, that hat, it's.

It's.

It's fire.

That's fire.

That's lit.

You like that's lit jargon, man.

I. I tried, man. So. So over
the weekend. It's gas. It's gas. Yeah,
yeah, there you go. I heard that
one, too. Over the weekend, I took
four junior high boys, yours being one
of them, to Chicago Fire game, and
I had to listen to them just
say some of the most nonsensical things.

It's like another language.

I was like, for real? Like, what
is going on right now? So I
tried to test out some of the
language on them, but, yeah, explain the
hat.

It's fire. Is that what we decided?
Did we all land on it's gas?
It's gas. It's lava. This is like
a volcano. Hey, so let's just go
with it's lava.

Okay, so you ruin slang when you
give it like that.

Listen, what do you want me to
do? I thought lava sounded better.

I love your age.

When I go to Japan in October,
I am going to ask a few
of those trusted people that I met
last time what would be a good
slang term?

We can see Japanese.

Describe this hat. I need some Japanese
slang on what this hat is. I
think that would help. So I'm wearing
it because I'm going to Japan. I'm
leading a mission trip to Japan October
16th through the 28th, and I led
it last year, and it was awesome
to go out there and Just meet
people from another culture.

I led it the year before. You.

You did.

It was awesome.

Yeah, it really did.

I want to go back. I just
don't know if my wife wants me
to go back because I'm also going
to the Philippines around that same time,
and she's like, can you just be
home?

That's kind of hard. I mean, that
12 days. I wasn't at homesick when
I was in college, which means I
must really love my family because I
was like, after like eight. Like, I
think I'm homesick. What is going on
here? So. But they gave me permission
to go again, so I'm going.

I love it.

Yeah.

And it's not just you, though. If
anybody at. Anybody watching this or Disciples,
Church people want to. Want to go
on this trip as well. It's really
cool outreach. There's a lot of using
English to try and evangelize to college
students. That's really kind of the main
focus.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. And doing a lot of fun
social things to literally connect with people,
because they're really looking for community in
Japan outside of, like, their family and
that type of thing. Community is not
as prevalent as it probably is here.
So people are looking for some people
to connect with in a fun way.
So they do a lot of fun
outreach that gets people in the doors
of the church, in the community of

(07:45):
the church, and then through that, Jesus
gets introduced. So the way they're doing
it is really cool because culturally, going
up to somebody just telling them about
Jesus is not culturally how it works
out there. So they found some creative
ways to connect.

For me, that's one of the most
interesting. So we go on missions, trips
to a lot of different countries and
a lot of places where the gospel,
it's. It's hard to preach the gospel.
It's. It's very oppressive, and there's just
these barriers that you have to jump
through. And Japan, like the region that.
That we're ministering in, it's 1% Christian.
So, like, you've got 99% of the
population is. Is not Christian. But it's

(08:21):
not because of hostility. Like, it's one
of the rare places in the world
where there's this tiny, tiny group of
Christians. But it's not because of any
kind of attack against Christianity or outlaw
or banning of Christianity. It's just. It's
a. It's a very atheistic country that
just really doesn't have any place in
their. In their conversations for Jesus. Even

(08:45):
though there's rich Catholic history And others
in that whole region, it's down to
1%. So what do you do with
that?

And the other side of that coin
is it's 99% people that need Jesus.
So, like, if you're passionate about helping
people get to know Jesus, the fields
are ripe out there. It's a lot
of people. Most people you're going to
meet don't know Jesus. So, I mean,
you don't have to be a scholar
to introduce somebody to the love of
Jesus. They just need to taste and

(09:12):
see that it's good. And that's kind
of what they're practicing there is just
showing people love and eventually showing them
that that love comes from our relationship
with God.

And really the big thing that I
experience there is it's a opportunity for
encouragement for the believers that are there.

Yes.

Because think about being 1% Christian nation.
That means you ain't got a lot
of Christian friends, you don't got a
lot of Christian co workers. And it
can get real lonely. It can feel
like it's just us. Us handful of
people.

Yeah.

And so a group comes in and
it's a chance for just fellowship and
hanging out and just encouragement and prayer
and just. Yeah, it's good stuff. Plus,
the food is good.

Food was really good.

The food, busing.

What is he on?

Busting. Busting.

They tell you, Pastor Brent, that you
cool Pastor. You come out with all
of.

Man, I've tried to tell people I
ain't cool for so long.

I mean, you on a. I used.

To not have to tell people I'm
not cool. It was obvious. I don't
know what happened. Over the year, my
wife started dressing me better visually.

Yeah.

But then he speaks and I don't
know.

No. Oh, so you were with the
teenagers. The preteens and the teenagers. That's
why you come to us today with
all of this slang.

I'm like, I'm just testing it out.

Busting. Okay.

It's really fun when you use Gen
Z or language.

I hope these kids don't watch because
they are so embarrassed right now.

Oh, no. I do this to them
all the time. My favorite thing to
do is actually to change the definition
of their own slang and using it
back at them. So, like, my son
loves. I don't know how appropriate this
is for a podcast, but get in
the questions in a second. Bear with
us. So my son Bennett, his favorite
one is crashing out.

Yes.

And so I just. I redefined crashing
out as to pooping your pants.

Yeah.

And so now every time my son
Is like, oh, I'm crashing out. I'm
like, dude, can you wait till you
get home? Go to the bathroom. Like,
don't do that in the car.

Oh, my goodness.

Because now it's. Every time he says
it, he kind of cringes.

Right.

I've ruined it for him.

I'm about to do that.

It's so much fun.

Yes.

If we could all collectively just turn
crashing out into pooping your pants, we
can ruin it for.

I'm gonna give that a try.

I'm gonna do it.

I think Ava still says. I think
my daughter still says that. I don't
know if the son says it, but
it's dying.

Consider it done.

Right.

All right, we need to get into
these cars because we got a lot
of them.

We got a lot of questions. So
let's jump right in. Question number one,
why does God allow, even when we
pray for healing?

Yeah. So that we threw that question
in first because that was actually what
we kind of what we talked about
on Sunday. The question of, you know,
God is good. Why am I suffering?
Or why do these bad things happen?
Or why is there evil? Or why
is there sickness? Or why. It's such
a big question that I think needed

(12:09):
way more time than we give podcasts.
We give like 30 second answers. And
so encourage you, if you didn't watch
Sunday's message to do that. There's a
lot of, I guess, help that can
be found within that. But specifically for
this question of why. Why am I
not healed?

Yes.

How do they phrase it?

Why does God allow suffering? Even when
I pray for healing?

Even when you pray for healing. So
the, the reality that we have to
wrestle with is that God is not
our genie. And I think some Christians
have this view that, well, since God
is good and God can heal, that
means he will heal because that's what
makes him good. But what we have
to understand, though, is now you're projecting

(12:56):
onto him what you deem is good
or what you deem as the right
response to thing. And the reality is
there are some sicknesses that actually can
be more beneficial to us in our
sickness. That it's. It's the struggle and
the suffering. It's the redemptive quality of
this. But it's also, you know, we
talked on Sunday about the soul making
theodicy, and it's, you know, even. Even
the apostle Paul prayed that this thorn

(13:18):
in the flesh would be removed from
me, which could have been a physical
ailment. We don't know. But we do
know that there was Others in Paul's
life that weren't healed. He told Timothy,
hey, drink a little bit of wine
for your upset stomach because we prayed
for you and you didn't get healed,
so try some wine. Or there was
one trip that Paul was making, and
he tells the people that he's writing
to. He's like, hey, I really wanted
to bring. And I forget the guy's

(13:39):
name. It's like, I really wanted to
bring him with, but he's been so
sick that he's not able to travel
with us. And so clearly we see
in Scripture that there are people that
God doesn't heal. Do we know why?
Not really. But we should not go
into things with this expectation. I think
there's been some Christians that have given.
Have made this more complicated with this

(14:00):
teaching that it's always God's will to
heal. And you just don't see that
in scripture. There's. There's too many evidences
in scripture that actually prove the opposite.
And so can God heal? Yes. Is
he going to heal everybody? No. And.
And the hard part is, even if
he heals you, you're still going to
die.

Wow.

Is this an uplifting moment in the.

You said, wow, like, that was news
to you.

It's just the way that Pastor Brad.

Like, I say it bluntly. I say
it bluntly to help people. Like, eventually,
like, our bodies wear out.

Yeah.

And so, you know, if that's now
or if that's in 20 years or
whenever that is, like, it's gonna happen,
you know? And so I don't know.
I. I think it is hard when
you're facing sickness. My daughter is facing
an illness right now that we don't
understand that. Doctors don't even understand that.
We're. We're struggling through this. Hey, God,
we've been praying, you know, we would
love for you to show up and

(14:55):
do a miracle. And just. He never
promises that he's going to heal everybody
on this side of eternity. And so
we trust him. We trust him that
if he brings healing, it was his
will. If he doesn't bring healing, it
was his will. And we're just trusting
that he knows better than we do.

Yeah, that's good. Okay.

Ace is like, nope, nope, I'm not
touching that.

He already said we're all going to
die, so it's not much I can
say.

Leave it there.

Question number two. How do I know
if I'm really growing spirit spiritually?

My thought on that is the Bible
talks about how we judge by the
fruit. So, like, there should be evidence
in your life that some things are
changing and changing more toward Jesus than
away from Jesus. So as far as
growing spiritually. Yeah. Do the practical things
that you can do to grow spiritually.
Read the Bible, pray, all of those
things. But also there should. Usually somebody

(15:50):
else will notice when you've changed for
the better. So I would say, you
know, you don't have to look to
necessarily, you don't have to see it.
Sometimes when people start to see the
fruit, somebody's gonna tell you, I guess
I just go with it that way.
So do what you know to do
when you see it, obey it. And

(16:10):
you're growing spiritually, if you're doing those
things, when will it be recognized by
others? It will be. But even if
it's not, no big deal, God recognizes
it. So that's my thought on it.

Yeah, I think that's great. Yeah. The
fruit is, is the fruit of the
spirit is the metric. Right. So I
think that you can, you can evaluate
yourself in some of that. Like you
recognize, man, I, I haven't lost my
temper at my kids nearly as much
this year as I did last year.

Yeah.

And so, you know, you, you kind
of watch things over time. I think
if you're, if you're looking for like
week to week growth, that's harder to
recognize. Yeah, it's kind of like, you
know, your kid is growing a ton
and you don't really notice, but then
somebody sees them for the first time
in a year and they're like, wow,
you got so tall. And you're like,
oh, yeah. Actually I have been looking
more up lately. And so like, I

(16:58):
think that don't, don't get so preoccupied
with this week to next week, but
year to year growth. And if you're
doing the things that you should be
doing to see growth, you're going to
see it. Like if you're reading your
Bible, you're praying, you're going to church,
you're serving, you're, you're getting involved, you're
in community. I mean, those things, you
can't do all of the right things
and not see any results.

And I think it's important to just
be patient. Like God has been patient
with you. Like when you came to
Christ, it had been a long time
probably, you know what I mean? And
we come to Christ and then it's
like this overnight feeling that you think
you got to be just changed overnight,
and that's just not real. I mean,
it's going to take time for you
to just from the things you just
habitually do. It's going to take time

(17:39):
for you to see it in the
word of God, realize I shouldn't be
doing it this way, and then adjust
and, you know, and then being able
to adjust consistently because situations are going
to rise and you're going to have
an opportunity to show that you've adjusted
and to grow. So just be patient.
It's easier sometimes to. I think it's

(18:00):
easier to be patient with yourself, though,
sometimes than it is others. One thing
I've encountered is people just kind of
looking at other believers and questioning their
growth, when in essence, it's like, don't
worry about that. They're doing what they
can and let God be the judge
of if they're growing fast enough. So.

(18:20):
Yeah. So that's my thought on it.

That's good. All right, next question. Why
don't we speak in tongues in service?
And they say, I'm new.

Yeah. I think what you'll probably find
is there's actually a lot of people
in our services that are speaking in
tongues, praying in tongues. I think we
kind of addressed this last week. Somebody
asked. Or was it in the actual.

Yep.

On that actual Sunday, somebody asked, why
don't we hear the. The pastors. You're.
You're not supposed to. Unless there's translation
happening or if you're standing really close
to somebody when they're having their private
prayer language moment. So. Yeah. So should
we be taking a moment out of
our service? Say everybody right now, use

(19:03):
your prayer language. I personally don't think
you should. Based on scripture. I think
that that's inappropriate. And I've been a
part of churches where that happened. I've
been in worship gatherings where that happened.
And it is. It is a moment
where anybody that doesn't have a prayer
language is looking around feeling like they're
second class because they can't participate in
something. And that's just awful. I don't

(19:24):
want to ever create that. Plus, Bible's
very clear that this things should be
done in order.

Yeah.

So, yeah, people are praying in tongues
from the microwave or microwave. Microwave microphone.

I've never done it from the microwave.
Maybe in front of the microwave while.

Cooking, but if my microwave ain't working,
I might be right.

Right.

Such a laying hands on it come
back to life. Okay. Okay, next question.
What about baptism x2.38 says, be baptized
for the forgiveness of your sins. Obviously
repentance and confession is needed before you
get baptized. Why don't we tell people
to repent of their sins before they

(20:05):
get baptized.

We don't.

I think we do. I mean, at
the end of the day, we usually
point out when we do a salvation
call that all have sinned and fallen
short of the glory of God. So,
therefore, you need to repent and accept
the free gift of Jesus, who died
in your place. So, I mean, we
do. I don't know if it's. If
you feel like the person asking the
question, and I don't know what they
feel, but it doesn't have to be

(20:29):
this. Go up there and stand at
the altar and do all of this
repentance. I think it's okay. I'm a
sinner, and now I'm accepting this free
gift of Jesus. And that's kind of
you repenting. And now, of course, as
you go as a believer, the Bible
tells us to continue to repent for
things that we do. But when it

(20:50):
comes to getting saved, I mean, yeah,
repent and be baptized. We do that.

Yeah.

I think even. Correct me if I'm
wrong, because I haven't been involved in
the process in a while. But I
think even in the baptism, there's like
an interview process to make sure this
person actually knows what they've done or
what they're getting into. And so I
believe in that process, repentance is addressed.

Yeah, that's a part of it. We
have them write out kind of their
salvation story, and then we evaluate that
salvation story to determine whether they really
know what they did or not. And
then we call when we're unsure, but
then also, the day of, we go
through it all over again, check to
see who's repented of their sin. Like,
are you really saved? Do you believe
this? We just kind of go through

(21:31):
it to not assuming that they've actually
been saved. We give them another opportunity
there and say, this is what it
means. Have you done that? And it's
like, oh, yeah, I've already done it.
I'm like, all right, well, you saved.
I had that conversation yesterday because I
felt like one of the people wasn't
really sure. It was like, you know,
I'm here. I believe this, and I'm
here to get baptized. I don't know

(21:52):
that they ever, you know, repeated after
you in a prayer. But my question
to them was, I told them what
Romans 10, 9, 10 talks about. And
then I asked him, do you believe
this in your heart? And he said,
yes. And I said, well, you're saved
now. Let's get you baptized. You know,
so, yeah, so we do it. Beautiful.

I like how they said, why don't
we tell people to repent? I feel
like some people just want to be
in other people's business. I want to
hear them say they repented before they
go in that water.

Maybe. I don't know.

So, next question. How do we know
when you should get baptized? So this
is just a continuation.

Did you make Jesus Lord of your
life? And have you been baptized yet?

There you.

Because if the answer to the first
question is yes and the answer to
the second question is no, you should
get baptized.

Yeah, that's good. To the point, how
do we start to forgive? Like really
letting go. That's the next question.

How do we start to forgive? Well,
so I will. The, the nice answer
that I'll give is prayer. I think
that you need the Holy Spirit to
help guide you in that. The more
direct Brent, answer that question that I
know Tyisha loves is forgiveness isn't something

(23:13):
you start. Forgiveness is a choice. And
I think you simply choose to forgive
and then you have to walk out
forgiveness. And I think that that's kind
of two different things and maybe it's
semantics at that point, but I think
how do you start to forgive? You'd
make the conscious choice. You say, I'm,
I am going to let this person

(23:33):
free of the consequences, the guilt of
what they did to me. I'm going
to forgive them. I'm going to, I'm
going to let this go. And now
I'm going to have to walk in
that. And so every time I see
them or hear their voice or whatever,
and it wants to have that thing
rise back up, I have to remind
myself, no, I forgave them. And I

(23:55):
meant it when I said, you're forgiven.
And so I'm not going to be
holding that against them anymore.

And I think a huge part of
that process, I agree it's a choice.
But then that process after is, I
think it's a prayerful thing that you
have to do, like God. All right,
now, where is my heart concerning this
person? Like, where am I still holding
offense and that type of thing? So
I've made this choice. I'm going to
forgive you. But now, Lord, I need
you to show me where I'm still

(24:21):
offended and help me to root that
out. But I think I've forgiven them
already. Am I carrying hurt? Am I
carrying offense? That's the walk out process
to me. And that just comes over
time, but it comes with God actually
pointing out to you where you're at
so that you can be free from
it because you're the One that's going
to end up carrying for sure.

Walking out the forgiveness, man, that absolutely
is lifelong journey. It's a lifelong process.
And so you just have to be
cautious with what are you allowing to
kind of rise back up.

Yes.

And so, and, and with that, I
always make the caveat that forgiveness does
not require access. Like, I can forgive
somebody for doing something to hurt me
and still say, but here's the new
boundary, and you're going to stay on
your side of the boundary, right?

Yeah, that's true. That's real. A member
literally told me that's what she was
doing, and she explained that to me,
but I think she was rationalizing it
in her head about how, you know,
she. She don't have a great relationship
with her family. And then they kind
of ask her, like, what type of
Christian are you that you don't deal
with us anymore? She was like, I've
forgiven them, but I don't think that
I have to go continue to deal

(25:29):
with them and be hurt by them
and, like, expose myself to them. And
I'm like, you don't. You're good. So,
yeah, so that's a real thing.

I mean, it would be crazy. So
you got an abuser in your life.
By the grace of God, you offer
them forgiveness. Does that mean you should
go endure more abuse?

No, of course not. That's true. Good
answer, guys.

Glad you approve.

I like that. Can I have that
role in this? Like, that was good.
That wasn't.

Okay, back to this rating system.

We pha that out judge our answers.

So what is the unforgivable sin that
the Bible talks about?

Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. And so
I guess the scholarly consensus on that
is that it is a sin that
technically isn't even possible to repeat because
it was specific to the Pharisees that
were looking at Jesus miracles and what
Jesus was doing and saying, that's not
the work of God, that's the work

(26:28):
of the devil. And that's when he
brings up, the unforgivable sin is blasphemy
against the Holy Spirit. It's attributing the
works of God to Satan. And so
since Jesus isn't walking around on earth
right now, it's not a repeatable offense.
So most scholars basically just reject it,
even as a issue that you have

(26:49):
to worry about. The deeper part of
that, I guess, though the applicable part
would be the unforgivable sin is rejection
of Jesus. Like, if you, if you
reject Jesus and the sacrifice, that's unforgivable
in the sense that only those who
have accepted Jesus's sacrifice on our behalf
are saved. And that bears out in

(27:10):
just about every scripture that talks about
repentance and forgiveness and salvation and all
that. So, yeah, it's. It's one of
those things where I've heard so many
people and I've seen so many, like,
Reddit posts on, like, Christian Reddit threads
and stuff of somebody like, I committed
the unforgivable sin, and now I know
I'm going to hell. And everybody in
there just like, no, you're not. No,
you didn't. No, you can't. Here's a

(27:30):
thread. Just read this. You're good. And
so. But it is really. It's one
of those things that I think it's
terrifying for people to. To be like,
what can I do to mess this
thing up? Because if it's something I
can do to mess it up, I'm
sure I messed it up. But it's.
It's really not. And it's. It's funny,
too. It's usually the person that's even
asking the question is already in a
place where their heart is so vulnerable

(27:52):
and so towards Christ that, like, if
you ask the question, you're not going
to be guilty of the question or
of the. Of the sin. So, yeah,
I don't think it's something that anybody
has to worry about whether or not
the scholars are right in saying that
it's not even possible to do. Maybe,
maybe not. But ultimately, the only sin
that's unforgivable is rejection of Jesus.

All right, cool.

Hope that helps somebody.

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna read it like
it is here, but I'm not saying
it wrong. Why Christians deliberately sin and
come to God, like, he doesn't know
what they doing.

I love that. I don't think there's
even a question in there, but it's
a. It's a great. That's fire right
there. That's. No, that's. That's legit in
the sense that there are a lot
of people that think that they can
hide sin or they can, like, get
away with sin. And it's like, well,
God doesn't, you know, he doesn't know.

(28:53):
Yeah, but if he's omnipresent, that means
he's everywhere. If he's omniscient, that means
he's all knowing. So, like, we can't
hide our sins. And yet it's not
even just like a modern problem. Like,
you read in the Bible, like, yeah,
how many people were trying to Hide
their sin. The very first sin. They're
trying to hide it. God's like, hey,
where are you? Where are you? They're
like, we heard you walking, so we

(29:14):
hid ourselves because we're ashamed. And when
God asks a question, it's not because
he's looking for information. It's kind of
like when, like, I walk in, like,
when my kids were little and they're
playing, like, hide and go seek, and,
like, Kelsey's literally just standing in a
corner with, like, something just, like, blocking
her eyes, and you still see her
entire body. I was like, kelsey, where

(29:36):
are you? It's like, that's kind of
how I think God looks at us
when we're trying to hide.

Yeah.

He's like, oh, where'd you go? Right
there. So. Yeah, it's just. Yeah. I.
I think that we are foolish. I
think that we are hopeful that he
doesn't see all of the horrible things
that we're doing and that he isn't
right there with us while we're doing
it.

But he is.

Yeah, but. Yeah, and. But it's just.
I think it's maybe a flaw in
human nature and our lack of intelligence
in some things.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Pastor Brent,
but in my experience. Tell me my
experience. Wrong, but I feel like this.
So when I was in a state
of.

It's a wrong experience.

Right. So. So as a believer who
backslid for a while, I was always
aware of my sin and always aware
that God is aware of my sin.
Even though I would commit sin, I
would a lot of times those. And
I know it's not a big sin,
little sin thing, but. But I had

(30:41):
to stay to cope with my guilt.
I had to stay on drugs or
on alcohol because in me, I knew
I was so wrong. And the only
way to deal with it because your
mama raised you, was to mask it.
Yeah. So my thought is, if you're
truly a believer, in the middle of
it, something is like, something you feel

(31:03):
wrong. So the whole idea of hiding
it, I can mask it, but I.
And maybe it was me. I. There
was never a time where I thought
I was hiding something from God. I
surely knew I was being disobedient and
doing things that I shouldn't do.

I think that's probably true for 99%
of people. There's probably that 1% of
people that either, in that moment, just
feel like God doesn't even exist or
God doesn't even care. And so I'm
gonna do my thing. But, like, you
know, I joked it's because your mama
raised you right. But it really is.
I mean, you knew truth. You knew
what was right and what was wrong.
And so you, you just actively chose.

(31:40):
Yeah, I know this is wrong, but
I like doing it, so I'm gonna
do it anyways.

Yeah.

And I think that's that. I mean,
that's the reality of rebellion.

And the wild part is, and I
tell people this, that to me is
a worse place than somebody that never
knew God. Yeah, that's worse. What I'm
doing when I know better versus you
just ain't met Jesus or experienced Jesus.
And you act in this way. Well,
you're gonna act the Bible say you,
you act like.

You basically talks about how you know
we're going to be judged based on
our, our level of, of understanding and
knowledge.

Absolutely.

For those that have walked away or
rejected, I think it's worse than terrible
place.

Yeah, absolutely. So.

What was the d. Okay.

There'S more to come.

More to come. How do we stand
up for ourselves? I'm. I'mma read it
like it says, because I just corrected
it, but it's really. How do you
stand up for yourself or defend yourself
without sinning or going against the word?

In love and with truth?

Yeah. I mean, do you have, like,
can you not stand up for yourself
without punching somebody in the face or
cussing them out? I mean, as long
as you're not sinning, like. Yeah, you
could. You can stand up for yourself.
I don't, I don't see the.

Okay, let me, let me channel in.
It wasn't me that asked this question.
I'm positive.

Totally. We absolutely believe you.

Now, is your friend asking for you?

No, this is. She was asking for
a friend. No, I was. I'm not
asking for a friend for a friend.
But what I can see is like,
you know, sometimes you get. You can
get offended and you can answer out
of offense or maybe from that perspective
of like, this made me upset.

Yeah.

And my response was probably an equal
level of anger back to this person.
I don't know.

I would say don't expect that. It's.
You're going to do it perfectly as
quick as I said in love and
whatever else I said, do I do
that 99, 100% of the time? No,
absolutely not. But the idea is to
respond in love, and if you respond
in with the truth, no problem there.
But it's just how you do it.

Yeah. That is okay.

Yeah, that's how you do it.

Lots of prayer, lots of growth. Right.
You know, when, when you're somebody that
has a short fuse. You gotta. You
gotta work really hard to lengthen that
thing. Take. Take time to. To breathe.
Take to count to 10. You know,
there's a lot of tips out there
for how to regain your composure or
keep your composure in the midst of.
We were actually just talking about conflict

(34:14):
resolution this morning.

I felt like you were. It was
towards me.

Was I projecting?

Yeah, I think maybe. Maybe it's crazy.
No, I didn't feel that way.

And it can be harder with your
loved ones and with people you're spending
time with daily, every day, think about
how it's sometimes easier to be courteous
to the stranger. You don't know.

Very true.

Versus people that you have this emotion.

Yeah.

Built in, this lasting relationship, experiences not
agreeing. So that's really where you have
to be conscious of. Like, you almost
have to show up daily making a
decision that, I'm gonna walk in love
today, I'm gonna respond to things better
today. If that's an issue for you,
you need to, like, get ahead of

(34:59):
it in your thinking, knowing that, all
right, I might get offended in this
situation. Let me.

Yeah. And I would say if. If
you know there's a person or a
situation that sets you off more than
other things, then I would definitely spend
a lot of time in prayer in
advance. Like, if it's a co worker,
then every morning on my commute to
work, I would definitely be praying. God,
when I see that co worker. When
Taisha comes up to me, I'm just

(35:26):
playing.

No, I take that personality.

But no, legitimately, when. When you know
that there's a specific person or there
is a situation that's setting you off
and you want to stand up for
yourself or you know that every time
you're around them, they're going to. They're
going to do something, then that's where
you need to be preparing yourself in
advance. That's through prayer. And that's good.

(35:50):
Some quiet time with Jesus and.

Yeah, that's good. I was gonna make
a joke, but not the right time.
What is.

So proud of you.

Always a good time for a joke.

What is biblical kindness? And how do
you walk in that while still having
wisdom, a guarded heart and discernment.

Oh, man. I gotta remember now. And,
David, if you're. If you're listening to
this episode, you gotta remind me what
you said in our group. But it
was something along the lines of niceness.
Like the difference between niceness and kindness.
That niceness, telling people what they want

(36:34):
to hear. Kindness is telling People, what
they need to hear, in a nice
way, I think, is the paraphrase of
what David in my. In my men's
group told us a couple weeks back.
But, yeah, so I think that with
our kindness towards people, it doesn't mean
that you have to be a punching

(36:55):
bag. It doesn't mean that you have
to just, you know, roll over and
die and let everybody win and all
of that. I think that in our
kindness, we can still stand up for
ourselves. We can still, you know, defend
ourselves. How. How did they phrase the
question again? What was the. The biblical
kindness?

How do you walk in that while
still having wisdom? A guarded heart and
discernment.

The guarded heart and discernment, yeah. So
I. I think that's absolutely. Where in
your interactions with people, you're allowing the
Holy Spirit to move through you and
work in you and help your speech
be edifying and life giving, but also
having that wisdom to know, okay, I'm
being really, really kind to this person,

(37:39):
but they're taking it and they're abusing
it or they're doing things that are
no longer appropriate. It's like, you know
that homeless guy, he keeps asking for
money. I gave him money three days
in a row, but I noticed that
every time I give him money, he
walks over to the liquor store. I
think, I'm gonna stop giving that guy
money. That would be wisdom. Right? And

(38:00):
so wise as serpents, innocent as doves
is what we're instructed to be. And
so I think prayerfully, you just kind
of weigh those situations individually. You got
anything, Asa?

I was thinking about the guarded heart
part. No, I just kind of feel
like with that part of it, you
almost need to approach things, not expecting
anything back. Also in. In that. So,
like, in your love walk, loving, trying

(38:34):
to love people unconditionally. I'm not expecting
him to treat me no type of
way. I'm not expecting anything. I'm gonna
love you because that's what the word
tells me to do. And just practicing
doing that with no expectations and then
checking, make sure you're not offended, but
I mean that. So that's. I don't
know. That part of it made me
think of that.

But it's good, though.

Yeah, that's good. Buckle your seat belts
for this question.

All right. Lock it down for my
prayer.

How do you deal with a kiss
or peck in golly dating?

You don't.

Under you stern. You don't. You don't
pack during godly dating.

You don't.

Why don't you?

Cause you're not that strong to not
let that lead into ungodly sexual situation.

Okay.

Or I wasn't that strong. So I
had a. Three, four years. Three, two,
three, I don't know. Couple years before
meeting my wife where I didn't have
sex. I was trying to do what
the Bible said. And I was well
aware of the fact that I wasn't
about to do any dating where I
was anywhere close to a woman where

(39:50):
I could kiss, peck, or anything, because
I knew that I didn't have the
self control for that. Maybe some people
do. I don't know. But maybe you
can date godly and you can. I
don't know. If you're in France, do
they go, maybe you can do that
on the way out. But I'm not
sure. Sure, because what are we kissing
for? Why are we kissing?

I don't. You're asking for.

I'm just wondering what's the purpose of
a kiss that's not. To your mom
on the cheek? Like, what's the purpose
of a kiss in dating? Where is
that leading?

It feels good.

Yeah. The. Not good enough.

It's exciting.

Yeah. Not exciting enough.

So I don't know. Yeah. I don't.
I don't disagree with Asa on that.
I think that the best option is
to not.

Yeah.

I will say my wife and I,
when we started dating, like, we. I
actually told her, I'm like, hey, we're
not gonna kiss for a while. For
a while now, we didn't have the
whole. I had some friends that were
like, our first kiss is gonna be
when the minister says, I pronounce you
man and wife. You know, you may
kiss the bride. I was like, yeah,
I ain't wearing that long. I didn't.
I didn't have the will. The. Your

(41:02):
pastor is weak. Paul even says, if
you. If you can't remain single, then
go ahead and get married. I am
one of the weak ones that Paul
was talking to. And so my weakness
is very obvious. But no, I think
even. Even after that moment when we
did finally have our first kiss, you
know, several months into dating, we made

(41:23):
sure that we weren't in places where
that kiss could become something else. And
I think that's probably the biggest caution
that I give. So, like, you know,
we would. We. We had. I think
we had our first kiss, like, on
the side of the street, like, walking
to a store, and we shared our
first kiss. It was a very public
setting, but that's one of those things
where it's like, if. If you're in

(41:44):
a Place where it's like.

So it's gonna be like, I can't
believe he just told me.

If this kiss can. Can turn into
something else, it's probably not a good
place for you to be.

Yeah. And how did you feel as
you walked away? Like, oh, God, help
me, Jesus. Or were you good? Did
y' all stay together? Was it a
goodbye kiss or. Y' all was hang.

Hanging out.

Oh, you was good.

No, I was like, that was. I
enjoyed that. We should do more of
that.

That's what I'm saying. It's the more
that's coming.

Oh, my gosh. So if you're confused,
I'm sorry. Because you had one. Pastor
Ace was like, don't do it.

What do you think?

I'm not.

I told you I didn't disagree with
him, though.

Yeah, I know.

I still think not doing it is
the better option. I just. I just
doubt that there's very many people listening
to this going, all right. Yeah, just
don't do it. All right, cool. I'm
good.

What do you think? I mean, what
do you think?

My name's Bennett and I'm not in
it.

His son's name is Bennett. That's not
your name. What do you think?

I think.

Come on, give your honest opinion.

Did me and David wait?

No, that was not the question.

Okay.

What do you think they should do?

I think.

All right. So your son. Your son
is. Your son. Your son is a
preteen boy. Your son is a preteen
boy. He's going to be starting to
date, you know, eventually at some point.
What advice would you give him as
a mother regarding kissing and pecs on

(43:16):
the cheek?

Yeah. No.

Or other kinds of pecking?

I didn't even think about this. I
was thinking David would have these conversations
with him, but I don't know. I
don't necessarily think it's a sin. I
guess you have to weigh, like, what
your areas are, like, weakness.

I mean, we could answer that. Is
kissing a sin? No.

No. Yeah.

That wasn't the question, though.

No.

It says, how do you deal with
a kiss or a peck in godly
dating?

Godly dating means you're gonna honor God.
Yeah, dating. If that kissing leads to.

To.

I agree.

Other things.

You shouldn't do it.

You should not be doing it.

Yeah, I agree. That's where I stand.
I should have buckled my seat belt
while I'm telling them to buckle up.

For an easy question.

Should teens navigate. Navigate dating? Biblically?

Should they? Yes.

So here. Here's the only caveat that
I'm going to throw in there.

What is it?

There is no dating biblically. Like dating
in the Bible. First of all, in
that time frame, like dating wasn't a
thing. It was, it was like, hey,
my son needs a wife, you're gonna
be his wife. So yeah. So there
was no like courtship process, which technically
that's what dating is supposed to be,
preparation for marriage. I think that's one

(44:35):
of the cultural things that we have
really messed up in modern days that
we've turned dating into the thing we
do so that we're not bored. And
so like people are dating with no
interest in becoming married to them. I've
literally talked to people that are like,
yeah, I've been dating them for like
two years. I know I'm not gonna
marry him because there's no way I
want to marry him. But. And I'm

(44:55):
like, what are you doing wasting your
time? But in, in their mind it's
like, but you know, I like hanging
out with them. I like free dinners,
you know, so, so we're dating and
it's like if you're not dating for
it with the intent of marriage, then
you shouldn't be doing it. Now does
that mean every person you date, you're
like, this is gonna be the one?

(45:16):
No, you're, I mean it's a fact
finding mission, I think is the way
I've put it. Sometimes like you're trying
to get as much data of yourself
and the other person in relationships so
that when it is time to get
married, you can do it well. So
I think that there's room for dating
in, in a godly context, but it
should be something that's leading you towards

(45:37):
marriage. So. Yeah. So biblical dating doesn't
exist.

Yeah.

So basically you just take the Bible
as a whole and you should not
be entering into temptation, you should not
be putting yourself in compromising positions and
situations. And sexual morality needs to come
into play because sex is reserved for
husband and wife after they become husband
and wife. Not in the light, but

(46:03):
we love each other.

That this is my got told gonna
be my husband.

Okay, well you can have sex at
a suit, at a, at a future
point in time when the gonna be
is now he is.

Or you can go to the courthouse
and make it happen quicker.

Look, I mean if you're one of
the weak ones, right.

Go get married.

Where's my weekend? One of the weak
ones. Yeah. So I guess for this
with that whole concept of like dating
should lead to marriage, teens probably should
not date.

I, I, I'M more hesitant for a
teen to date than, like, a young
adult. I do think that there is
positive, possible, positive outcomes from teenage dating.
I think it's just, it's. There's a
world of temptation and sin that can
be introduced in that as well. However,

(46:58):
I do know that there was. There
were some dating relationships that I had
in high school that I'm, I'm grateful
for because I learned a lot about
myself in relationships and what I needed
to work on. And so my wife
got to marry a better version of
Brent than some of the girls in
high school that I dated had. And
part of it is learning in that

(47:19):
process. So I kind of. I'm not
super like. And, and look, if. If
you're a teenager and you don't. If,
if you're a parent of a teenager
and you don't want them dating, just
don't let them listen to this episode.
Because I, I think that it is.
There's a lot of danger within it,
but there's also potential for good. And
so it's just a matter of the

(47:39):
right person and the right person and
the right process and all that, so.

I agree. You have, you, you have
dating age, teens.

I know, right?

So what are you thinking?

I'm thinking they, they, they act like
that ain't happening right now, but, I
mean, it's a, It's a crew of
them that hang out, my daughter included,
because one of her friends and they,
they a year apart, so they have
a crew of mixed children.

Okay.

And as of now, none of that's
going on. Everybody's just friends that, you
know, I wouldn't have trusted myself in
that situation. So.

And I am. So if you want
to put in, like, boundaries and protocol,
like, I am a big fan of
parent chaperone dates, and I am a
big fan of group dates that remain
group dates, because I definitely pulled the
whole. It's a group of us going
out.

Yeah. And then absolutely.

Only two people. Right.

We split. So. Yeah. But I think
that they're. Yeah. If you're worried about,
you know, how they do this. Well,
yeah. I also think that dads should
model what it looks like to go
on a date for their daughter. I
think the whole daddy daughter date is
a wonderful thing. I've taken Kelsey on
several.

Nice.

And so it's, it's an opportunity for
her to see, okay, this is how
a man should treat me. So when
she starts dating when she's, like, 45,
because that's how long it's going to
take. Or I'M okay with that. She,
she's going to be able to judge.
Okay, did this guy open the door
for me like my dad did? Did

(49:15):
this guy talk to me the way
my dad did? Did this guy care
for me the way dad did? And
I want her to have a very
high bar that she has to measure
guys against.

Yeah, that's good.

And with my situation, I feel like
my job is to let them know
what the truth is and I can't
beat them to make them follow it.
So, you know, I can continue to
present the truth and tell them what
the Bible says about this thing and
kind of go from there and pray
and trust and try to set up
boundaries. But that child getting his license

(49:52):
real soon. And although I can track
everywhere he goes, I mean, am I
a tyrant? That's going, what type of
tyrant am I to find out?

So find out.

We'll find out. To be continued.

Right? All right, here's a question that
I think you're going to try to
throw at me, but how should I
approach dating in my twenties? As a
Christian woman, I'm a little nervous to
get on apps, but so many young
Christians and non Christians have used them.

Yeah, I think that's a question to
be answered by the, the, the female
Christian in the room.

Can we take out ministries?

Very familiar with all things, all things
digital.

And she's online.

Man. If only we had a woman
who is a Christian who is involved
in the online world like for pay
and.

Has a group of millennials and who.

Regularly leads a group of young females
who are Christian navigating the dating world.
If only we had somebody that fit
all of those unique criteria in the
room. But since we can't think of
who that person could be. Asa, the
40 something year old man that got

(51:11):
married before Internet dating was a thing.

It's true.

Are you a Flintstone?

I'm just like, are these Flintstones too?

No, those are props and we judge
you harshly for them.

Okay, that was so funny.

So you're gonna answer that question or
you're gonna deflect it back.

So let me see, let me channel
in my 20s, I think it's. I've
heard of people having successful dating relationships
via dating apps. I would say just
the same way in real life dating,
just guard your heart, do some use
wisdom, do some investigating. And especially with

(51:49):
social media, you can really search up
people and find out a lot about
them. I know catfishing is a thing,
but you can move past that. Like
check all social media outlets, see their
friends. Is There.

Are we condoning stalking? Is that what
this is?

I'm saying Internet stalking. I'm saying find
out all the deets before you get
into an online dating relationship. And then
once it moves off, you know, online,
bring them around your friends and let
them stand the test of time. So
that's my advice.

Yeah, no, I, we, we have to
pitch the question to you because I
haven't dated anyone except for my wife
for 20 years.

So what does that. What do you
mean? Pitch it to me.

18 for me. 18 and actually longer.
Cause it was a three year period.
21 years for me, man.

They've been married 15 years.

I'm just saying you're, you're far more
qual. You talk to these people?

Yes, I do. These people.

He didn't mean nothing by these people.
These people?

What you mean these people? We get
all 20 something female Christians.

Yes, they're my community. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I, I think you're, you're
right though. Use. Use wisdom and discernment.
I, I think the reality is you
can meet a great person on the
Internet and you make meet a horrible
person at church. Like, it's just like,
just because of where you're finding them
doesn't negate anything else. Now, the only
other caution I would give is just
be really upfront with what you're looking

(53:17):
for in a relationship and make sure
that you're on a site that isn't
designed for hookups, but you're using a
site that's designed for relationships.

And you know the difference.

I don't.

Yeah, you know the difference. How do
you know the difference?

Because I am a pastor who gets
asked questions a lot.

So is Tinder a hookup site or
is. Okay, I didn't even know.

I have no idea.

If you're looking for a long term
lasting relationship on Tinder, you're not.

I probably could name another one.

Staring at this camera, even though I
don't see the red light. There it
is. Yeah.

No Tinder hookups. We are against Tinder.
You said one that you knew Farmers
dot com. What?

Farmers only dot com. So. Yeah, right.
We just used to always make that
as a joke for a former employee
of the church that we were going
to help her find her husband on
farmersonly.com. she lived out in the middle
of nowhere.

Okay.

She actually did find an outdoorsman that
loves hiking and like all things farming.

And I'm sure that's some good cat.

Wearing camouflage hiding behind.

I'm. I'm pretty sure that he was
a member of farmersonly.com for a while,
but.

That might be one you want to
check out, ladies. Farmers.com. get you a
farmer.

Get yourself a farmer.

Get yourself a farmer.

You're hard working, hard working.

You ain't got to worry about not
eating.

Like, come on, it's not a bad
gig.

So the next question literally says, asking
for a friend. What should a married
couple do if one wants kids and
the other is dead set on not
having any kids?

That hurts my heart.

Yeah.

To hear. That is why we preach.
And I'll answer the question. Just a
second. But that. That is why we
preach so adamantly about compatibility.

Yeah.

And having these conversations before you get
married. And often what I find is
somebody says, well, we did, but I
just figured that he would change his
mind or she would change or. And
it just. Man, the number of times
that that actually happens is a lot
lower than the number of times it
doesn't. And so compatibility is huge. I

(55:33):
don't know if we've talked about it
in these podcasts, but the five Fs
that I usually give people is family,
faith, finances, future, and fun. You want
compatibility in those five areas. Now, compatibility
doesn't mean uniformity, doesn't mean that you
have to have the exact same thing,
but do these things work together? So
when we talk about future and one
person's like, I want to travel the

(55:55):
world and I want to live in
all these exotic places, and the other
person's like, my family was born and
raised right here, and I. I don't
want to move anywhere. I want to
live right here the rest of my
life. Like, that's a future incompatibility thing.
Finances. If one person's like, yeah, I
think we should take a family vacation
every year. And the other person's like,
I think we should be investing our
money so that we can send our

(56:15):
kids to college. You know, there's an
incompatibility with those two things. You can't
have both unless you're making lots of
money, which, congratulations. If. If you don't
have compatibility in your faith, that, man,
that's the. Probably the. The first biggest
giant red flag that just doesn't work.

(56:38):
If you don't have compatibility and fun.
Like, you got to be able to
enjoy life together. And if all the
things you love to do and they
hate those things, you're gonna be miserable.
So you gotta have some compatibility there.
And then that brings us to family.
And so that's one of the big
compatibility issues. When one person wants three
kids and the Other person wants zero
kids. There's an incompatibility there. Now, I

(56:58):
wanted three kids. My wife wanted two
kids. But there was. I was willing
to compromise, and so was she. Like,
we literally had this conversation before we
got married. I said, I want to
have three kids. Two boys and then
a girl. And she was like, I
only want two kids. I want a
boy and a girl. And I was
like, all right, well, let's say hypothetically,
we have two. Two boys. Would you
be willing to try for a third?

(57:18):
And she was like, yeah, for sure.
I was like, all right, if we
have three boys? She's like, nope. Like,
it was three was the cutoff point.
And I was good with that. So,
like, we had a compromise ready for
that moment. And so here's the problem
with the question, though. It's too late
for that.

Yeah.

Like, the marriage has already been committed
to. So I think the best thing
that you can do is talk about
it. Get. Get into counseling if you
need it, to be able to talk
through, okay, why. Maybe there's an issue
that you're not aware of, why this
person really doesn't want to have kids
and try and talk through it. And

(57:56):
then at some point, one of you
is going to have to compromise for
the other. And that sucks because that's
not a. That's not an easy compromise.
If you really want kids and the
other person really doesn't want kids. I
mean, I put that right up there
with a believer and an unbeliever, like,
as far as incompatibility. So pray lots

(58:18):
of prayer. That's why I said that.
That question breaks my heart because I
can imagine the pain that somebody is
in to want a child, but the
person that you're with says no. I'm
sorry.

Next question. Kind of in the same
vein, but in of marriage, I've been
separated for a few years from my
husband, and in the middle of a
divorce, is it considered adultery or a
sin to date?

So we'll be really technical with the
question first, and then we'll get into
some of the nuance. Is dating the
thing that is sinful in the Bible?
No, it's sex. And remarriage would be
considered sinful. But then there's what's the
point of dating if you're not leading
towards that? So the nuanced answer to

(59:16):
the question is, the Bible only gives
permission for divorce and remarriage in two
instances according to Scripture.
Now, we broadly categorize those two instances
in another way. I think we talked
about it Last time, we'll repeat it
this time. But the Bible talks about
for infidelity or abandonment. And technically the

(59:37):
passage about abandonment is actually Paul says
it, but he does preface. He says
the Lord says not I. And it's
about a unbeliever abandons a believer that
then the believer is free to remarry.
It's first or Second Corinthians. You remember
Asa, where that that's found? First Second

(59:58):
Corinthians, I should have looked it up.
So is remarriage a sin according to
scripture? Yes. Unless the divorce was because
of adultery or because of abandonment of
an unbeliever and a believer.
Now we broaden that exemption, I guess

(01:00:22):
because sometimes people claim to be believers
but their behavior is very unbeliever esque.
And so if, even if you were
to say, can a believer abandon another
believer? Like at that point I'm like,
well, that first person, I wouldn't categorize
them as a believer if they would
abandon their spouse.
They're not following Jesus. So it's one

(01:00:45):
of those nuances. So having said all
of that, part of what this is,
is God actually says in Malachi, I
think it is. Where does he say
God hates divorce? To one of the
prophets, God actually hates this process of
divorce because God is actually, it's a,
it's an image of what God is

(01:01:07):
trying to do with mankind. It's a
representation. Like our marriage is actually a
representation, representation of Christ and the church.
And so when we divorce, we are
ruining, we're breaking the image that God
was trying to create and we're separating
what God has brought together. And that
is a bad thing. It's not good.

(01:01:28):
And so the church's stance, the biblical
stance on divorce is pretty harsh for
those reasons.
Now within that do I give grace
and man, do I admit that there's
things that I don't fully understand and
fully know. And I know there's several
couples in our church who were divorced,
remarried to somebody else. And their, their

(01:01:51):
marriage is so God honoring. The kids
that they've brought into the world because
of it are so God honoring that
man. I have a really hard time
sitting in judgment of, of somebody. And
I don't know everybody's story. I don't
know what, what led them to the
divorce to begin with. And for this
person's question, we don't know what the
details of the divorce are, but the
Bible basically just gives us those two

(01:02:12):
abandonment and adultery. I did mention we,
we add to that technically we, I
do the four A's So it's abandonment
and adultery.
But then we also add in abuse
and addiction. And the reason why we
add those in and we feel like
it's. Even though the Bible doesn't explicitly

(01:02:34):
mention those, feel like those things are
tantamount to abandonment or to adultery. That
especially like with addiction, you have. You
have chosen a substance over your relationship
which often will actually lead to things
like abandonment. Where now. Now I'm pursuing
this thing instead of providing for my
family. And like, Paul even talks about,

(01:02:54):
like, the believer who's not providing for
his family is worse than. Than the
worst of sinners. I forget how he
phrases it exactly, but Paul's got some
pretty harsh words for. For guys that
don't provide in their. In their relationship.
And so. And then abuse. Absolutely.
I view that as abandonment. You have.

(01:03:15):
You have chosen violence against your spouse.
That's. You have cast them aside because
of that. And so I would. I
would. I would say that's a modern
version of abandonment. I would never advocate
for somebody that's being abused to stay
in a relationship. So.

Ti’heasha Beasley (01:03:32):
Yeah, it actually answers the following two
questions, you know, which is. Is getting
divorced a sin? Which you've kind of
explained. And also if we have the
ability to divorce after. After infidelity, is
getting remarried as a sin?

Pastor Brent McQuay (01:03:48):
Yeah, I would say according to Jesus.
No, it's not a sin. I think
that they. I. It's hard because the
passage doesn't like, explicitly say in that
case that you can remarry. I think
if I remember the verse right, so
one of those. I should probably pull
up the verses and then we could
have a much more accurate podcast, probably.
But if I remember right in that

(01:04:08):
verse, I think it just says that
they're now free. And so our interpretation
of being free would be that they
are now free to remarry. But there's
probably denominations that have nuanced views on
that. Bottom line is God hates divorce.
Divorce is ugly and nasty, and it
ruins the image and the picture that

(01:04:30):
God is creating. And it separates the
thing that God actually brought together. So
he does not like divorce. Jesus said
God allowed for divorce in the Old
Testament because of the hardness of man's
heart. So even in the cases where
you can get divorced, it doesn't mean
that that's what God wants. So, yeah,
I guess I could go so far

(01:04:51):
as to even say, like, who. God
forbid, something were to take place and
soul and I got a divorce, which
that is never happening. I wouldn't remarry.
I think I Personally, I would struggle
too much with scriptures that talk about
how bad divorce is and how it

(01:05:12):
is sin to divorce and then remarry
somebody else, that now you're committing adultery
with them. The Bible does say that.
So I think for me, my personal
conviction is I would just be single
from that point.

Awesome.

Awesome.

No, not awesome.

Awesome.

I'm saying, like, awesome. Like, let's pivot.

Like, that was your. This got awkward.

No, it was just very. It was
heavy, so I had to use a
word to pivot. Awesome. Not awesome.

Pivot. Pivot.

All right. What advice do you have
for women who are celibate waiting for
marriage? If marriage never happens, does this
mean God has a different plan for
you or for you to have an
intimate sexual relationship in your life? I
should have said, buckle your seatbelt for

(01:06:05):
that one. That's intense. You don't think
so? Like, that's pretty heavy.

So I recognize that this is heavy
for the person asking it, but I
think that the biblical truth there is.
Is really easy, and that that's just.
There is no loophole. There's no, like,
well, you know, I got old and
I didn't get married, so now I
can have sex. Like, no. Like, yeah,
celibacy is. It's the only biblical option

(01:06:32):
for anyone that's not married. And so,
yeah. Does that mean I have a
hard time saying, you know, what is
and what is not God's word will?
I think sometimes we. We put a
little bit too much emphasis on everything
that happens is because God wanted it
to happen that way. I don't think
that leaves room for our sin. I
don't think that leaves room for the

(01:06:53):
fact that. That God allows this world
to exist. And so I don't believe
that God is pulling the strings on
every situation, every person, all the time.
I think that he lets us, his
creation, live and make choices. And so,
yeah, I don't. I don't know that
I'll go so far as say, well,
it's God's will for you to be
single. Paul kind of says that it

(01:07:16):
is God's will for all of us
to be single. And then for those
of us that are too weak, we
keep going back to that one, that
we should go ahead and get married.
But, yeah, I think that ultimately. And
this. This part of this is cultural.
Some of this is personal for people,
and some of it. I think even
the church has probably done a bad
job over the years of making it
seem like marriage is God's design for

(01:07:38):
the world. Like, it's like everybody has
to be married because that's what it
means to really follow God. And Jesus
didn't get married and Paul didn't get
married. As far as we know, John
and James and Peter and all these
guys, they never got married. And so
I don't think any of us would
look at them and be like, ah,
they weren't really, you know, they weren't
really all of what God wanted for

(01:07:59):
their life or they didn't really experience
everything that. That makes life worth living,
you know, because that would just be
crazy. But I think culturally we put
such a pressure on. Everybody should get
married. Everybody has to get married. And
I just have a hard time coming
to that conclusion. So. But as somebody
that's sat with people who are crying

(01:08:20):
because they feel unloved because they don't
have somebody that man, that hurts.

That's tough. Yeah.

Pastor Asa Slaughter (01:08:27):
Let me interject a little bit. I
have never seen this, this way. But
as you mentioned, which I know that
Jesus didn't get married. It reminded me
of Jesus actually experiencing all of the
suffering that we've experienced. So it's so
wild because I never saw. But I'm
like, for somebody that's not married, Jesus
actually even know what that feels like.

(01:08:48):
He knows what to not have sex
feels like. So that was just interesting
to me because it just. I never
connected those dots for some reason. So.
Yeah.

Wow. I don't know that I ever
thought about it that way.

Me neither.

But he actually can connect with somebody
that's struggling in that way. He truly
does feel your pain.

So I would also say, man, I've,
I've met a lot of people that
man, they got married in their 40s,
50s. That's. Some people got married in
their 60s and it's like, man.

Yeah.

So don't. Don't say it's not possible.

Right.

It ain't over till it's over.

Yeah, that's true.

Okay, moving on. I felt a move
on spirit.

That look, that's all I had.

I think people are going to recognize
Brent's not really the relationship advice guy.
Just save my relationship questions for somebody
else.

They like that you give it a
try. So what are your thoughts about
Christians who are recovering addicts, speaking and
sharing their stories outside of the church
and also attending for the natural part
of addiction.

I don't understand the second part.

I don't either.

Going to like aa, that type of
thing.

Maybe, maybe. And also attending for their
natural part of addiction.

Yeah. Maybe they missed a word there.

Yeah. Out. Yeah. Attending something.

All in favor Yeah, I mean, man,
we. We should be sharing our testimony
everywhere. Should be sharing, you know, what
God has done in your life. And
if it's addiction recovery or if it's
a healed marriage or if it's sickness
being healed or whatever it is, you
know, we should be telling everybody. I
mean, the, the asaph verse that I
used on Sunday, you know, he closes
it with, I'm. I'm going to tell

(01:10:31):
everybody about you and what you've done.
Like, I think that's. That's what we're
supposed to be. And that doesn't mean
you give your testimony at church all
the time. Like, give your testimony at
work, give your testimony at dinner with
a friend, stop your neighbor and be
like, hey, let me tell you what
God just did. This is awesome. Buckle
up. Like, I think that's great. Yeah.
And then as far as, like, the
natural stuff like AA and stuff, like,

(01:10:53):
a lot of those programs, actually, a
lot of the recovery programs have biblical
basis for them. Like, they, they started
from a Christian stance, and then they
just kind of broaden to make it
easier for people that weren't religious to
join them. But I think that some
of the truths and the foundations of,
of things like AA and Celebrate Recovery,
I mean, Celebrate Recovery is still on

(01:11:14):
a Christian, just Christian trajectory and path.
But if I'm not mistaken, I think
even aa.

Do you know, I don't.

I thought AA actually began either by
a Christian or a. In a Christian
context. But don't quote me. Pretty agrees
with me. But maybe we're both wrong.
I don't know. But somebody can Google
it, look it up, see. But yeah,
so. But whether it is or isn't
it wouldn't even change my answer. I
think, man, find help, find support wherever

(01:11:43):
you can find it, wherever you need
it.

That's good. If you gave your life
to Christ and you still support the
LGBT TQ community, is that a sin?

Ooh, the nuance there would. I would
say you have to define support. What
do you mean by support? If by
support you mean affirm and celebrate, then
I would say without a question, that's
sin. Jesus talks about leading the little

(01:12:22):
ones astray, and for the person that
leads the little one astray, it would
be better for them to, what, have
a millstone tied around their neck and
cast in the sea so that judgment
is really, really high, especially for little
ones. But I think that it could
apply even in other situations. In any
place where we celebrate and affirm people

(01:12:42):
in their sin, that is wrong. That
is. That is rejection of Jesus. And
the law and sexual morality in the
Bible and all of it, like, it's
just. It's. It's very anti biblical and
anti Christian. So it. Would it be
a sin for a Christian to affirm

(01:13:03):
and celebrate? Yes. Support depends on the
definition of support. Like, there's. There's an
organization that we've worked with some that
they do. Their. Their whole organization is
in support of the LGBTQ community. However,
none of their stuff is to affirm.
It's. It's all like counseling support and

(01:13:25):
recognizing and educating people who have the.
The number of LGBTQ teens and young
adults that are homeless because when they
came out, their family, usually in a
hyper religious setting, kicked them out. And
so they come in to try and
support these. These kids that are living
on the street, like, doing amazing work
in support, but if you read their

(01:13:46):
bylaws and their doctrine, they stand on
biblical definition of marriage and what is
and what is not acceptable in the
eyes of God. And so they are
in support, but they're not in affirmation
of. So that's where I would say
the nuance would be. What do you
mean by support?

Yeah, and it's. It reminds me of
the speak the truth in love verse.
It's okay. You can be walking in
truth and loving. Truth doesn't separate the
fact that you're able to love somebody
still. So if that's the support we're
talking about, that's what it brought to
my mind. It is totally okay for
you to treat people with love and
respect, love on them, and then still

(01:14:23):
believe the truth of God's word and
not almost. I believe that for all
of us that may not have those
experiences with the LGBTQ or may feel
a certain type of way about them,
I think that we do need to
check our hearts concerning how we love
them. So you kind of have both

(01:14:45):
sides. Like, we have to realize that
we can still love them and walk
in the truth. You know what I
mean? And then those that may affirm
it need to kind of realize that
you don't have to affirm it to
still be loving those people and giving
them the truth. So, like, to me,
it's like, love them.

Yep.

But God's word is the truth, and
that's. That doesn't change. Yeah. So that's
kind of where I'm at with that.

That's good. The next question is kind
of the same vein. Someone who claims
to be a gay Christian is told
that it's not possible. Should they not
believe in God? What happens if they
choose to be both a follower of
Jesus and true to their sexuality.

What did I do last week? The
false button. False.

Yeah, we didn't, we didn't get you
your button this week.

Yeah, the premise of following Jesus and
being true to your sexuality, that is,
that is a false statement. If you
are following Jesus, then you are submitting
everything to him, including your sexuality. And
so as a heterosexual man, I am

(01:16:00):
submitted to Jesus, including my sexuality, which
means I am committed sexually to one
person for life. Right. And so it
doesn't matter if a pretty girl walks
by. Adultery is sin. And because I'm
submitted to Jesus, I'm not going to
do that thing. Right. And so that
doesn't mean that sin, you know, doesn't

(01:16:20):
exist in people's lives at that moment
they become saved. It's, it's a constant
walk. And so for somebody that has
same sex attraction, that is saying, but
I believe in Jesus and I'm going
to make him lord of my life
and I'm going to follow him. That
means you are laying your sexuality down
at the altar in the same way
all of us do. And so, yeah,

(01:16:43):
false button. It's not possible for you
to submit to Jesus and still do
what you want to do.

Yeah, can I? And, and I'm going
just say the same thing how you
just said, lay your sexuality, lay your
sexual attraction. Like as a man, I
have sexual attraction to women that I
have to lay down. And I'm married,
but I have to choose not to
walk in that and act that out
with anybody other than my wife. So,
I mean, eyebrows, the sin, that.

Girl walks by the yoga pants and
you're like, whoops.

Yeah. And it's, I mean, so it's,
it's not a, you know, it, the,
the feeling will come up. You don't
even have to do anything for the
attraction. There's nothing I have to do
to be attracted to the opposite sex.
But my job is to honor God
in my sexual attraction or sexuality. So,
yeah, I agree.

When you make Jesus Lord, you're submitting
everything, everything to him.

That's good. This question is asking. We're
all born into sin. Since we believe
that homosexuality is a sin, could it
be possible to be born gay?

Sure.

Okay.

No theological problem with people being born
with a proclivity to a certain sin?
I think there's some people that are,
are born with an addiction nature. I
think there are some people that are
born with an appetite for certain, for
certain sins. So why would I think
that, that the line is drawn at
sexuality I think it's possible to be

(01:18:16):
born with same sex attraction. That's part
of the nature of a fallen world
where we are all born into sin.
And so does that excuse anything or
justify anything? No. Just because one person
is, is born, you know, with a,
with a desire for gambling, does that
mean that, you know, now is a
belief? Well, I was born this way.

(01:18:37):
So then. No. It's like we. Back
to the first answer. Like when you
follow, you are submitting everything to him,
regardless of what sin you're born into
or what cravings you have. You are
following Jesus. He's Lord of your life.
You're submitting everything to him. Yeah, I
got no problem with a theological stance
of born with same sex attraction.

Part of that question though, and I
don't know if you answered it, and
I missed it, was, can they be
a Christian?

The question before that, that was the
question.

The question before part of it was,
can they be gay and be a
Christian?

Christian? Yeah.

Should I just stop believing in God.

Because I. Oh, the, the stop believing
in God part. No, I don't think
you stop believing in God because you
don't like his religion rules. Like that
would be foolish. I mean, what's making
you believe in God in the first
place? I mean, if that still stands
true, like. So if I believe that
God is real, I'm gonna use a
really dumb analogy. And I know this
is a dumb analogy, but if I,

(01:19:35):
if I believe that God is real
and he gave us his law and
he gave us the way we're supposed
to live our lives, and I read
in that thing that God hates blue
shoes.

You're out.

Am I now? Just all of a
sudden it's like, but I like my
blue shoes. And so now I just
don't believe in God anymore. No. I
mean, obviously I had reasons to believe
in this, in this God. Do I
throw away those beliefs just because one
of his rules goes against something that
I like? That'd be foolish. So no.
Should you stop believing in God? No.

(01:20:07):
You should stop acting on sinful desires.

Yeah.

So they can be a Christian.

I think it's like heaven.

Not if they're act. Not if. So
if. And maybe that's the nuance. But
yeah, can, can I be a Christian
and say, I know that God tells
me I shouldn't do this thing, but
I'm going to do this thing anyways.
I'm always going to do this thing
and I'm going to celebrate the fact
that I do this thing. You are
no longer a Christian.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. And it's the difference between celebrating
sin and struggling with sin. Like somebody,
somebody that has same sex attraction and
says, hey, I'm trying to follow, I'm
trying to honor God with my sexuality.
I'm trying to follow him. But I
was on, you know, that dating app
and I saw a guy and we

(01:20:57):
ended up together and now I'm like,
why did I do that? Why did
I struggle with this? Why did I,
why did I sin in that way?
But I know that it's wrong and
I shouldn't do that and I don't
want to do it again. I'm going
to try not to do it again.
I'm to going, going to try and
honor God with my sexuality. That's a
Christian, right? The Christian struggles with their
sin, fights against their sin. And there

(01:21:19):
are moments when, like Paul, you know,
why do I keep doing the things
that I know I shouldn't do and
I can't do the things that I
want to do? This battle between the
flesh and the spirit is just raging
within me. That's the description of a
Christian. The not a description of a
Christian is someone that says, God calls
this sin, but I like it. So
I'm gonna keep doing it.

Yeah, any sin.

Any sin, exactly.

Yeah. For sure.

Adultery is a sin. But I really
like being able to sleep with three
different women.

Right.

And so I'm gonna keep doing that.
And I want you to be happy
for me for doing that.

Be happy.

I just wanted to make sure we
answered that question.

That was good. Yeah, that was good.
I'd missed that part.

No, that's good. I feel like the
next two get a little more. There's
a little bit more meat to these
questions.

Meaty questions.

Meaty questions. Just gonna keep going. You're
hungry. No, I'm just playing. I'm just
keep going a little bit.

Just a little bit.

It is three o' clock and I.

Haven'T eaten since breakfast. I know. Why
do we look at historical context and
explain a way, explain away what the
Bible says about women in leadership, but
we don't take that same thing when
it comes to sins like homosexuality. Why
can't you say it was for these

(01:22:42):
people at this time and use all
the cultural gymnastics we do to explain
some things away and not other ways?
Wow.

And I think that's a great question.
I think that they're getting at the.
Why do we take this part of
the Bible as literal and definitive and
we take other parts of the Bible
as not Now I would object with
the Whole gymnastics expression. I don't think
we're doing any kind of gymnastics when
we approach these scriptures. The difference is

(01:23:15):
with the women in leadership and women
in ministry thing. We have examples in
the Old Testament and the new of
women in leadership. We have examples of
women judges leading the people of Israel.
We've got stories of women who are
celebrated for the things that they did,

(01:23:35):
the sacrifice. The women that first preached
the good news that Jesus was risen.
I mean, the people that did it
first were women. There are a lot
of. And actually this coming Sunday, yeah,
we're going to be talking about a
lot of this stuff.

So.

So what happens when you have people
and examples and illustrations in the Bible
saying one thing, but that you have
another text that seems to contradict those
things? That's where we have to wrestle.
And I don't call that gymnastics. I
call that wrestling. Like you are trying
to. Okay, if God is saying here
women should be silent in church, but

(01:24:14):
then just a few verses later, he's
giving instructions for how they should be
prophesy in church. But if they're silent,
you don't need to give them explanation
of how to prophesy. If they're supposed
to not teach men, then why doesn't
in Acts it talk about how Apollos
was being taught by a woman and
actually pulled aside to be given correct

(01:24:34):
doctrine because he had gotten something wrong?
So how do we reconcile these apparent
contradictions? And I answered the apparent contradictions
in a. A YouTube video I did
a couple days ago. And so we're
not doing gymnastics, we're just wrestling with
the text. What is the text saying
and what is the text meaning? And
we're using cultural context with everything that

(01:24:54):
we read, including passages about homosexuality. We
should still be taking culture into account
for when it's written and who it's
written to. The difference here is all
of the passage about homosexuality that we
have. There is zero examples in the
Bible of a homosexual relationship, relationship that's
celebrated. There's zero instances where we could

(01:25:15):
say, okay, here it's saying this is
a bad thing. Here it's saying maybe
it's an okay thing. So how do
we reconcile these things? There's absolutely. There
is zero passages in the Bible that
would affirm homosexuality, and there are several
that condemn it. There's no verses that
affirm that sex can be anything outside
of the union between one man and

(01:25:36):
one woman in marriage. Right. So we're
not doing gymnastics. We're just taking the
Bible for. For what it says across
the board. So it's it's not apples
and apples. I don't even think it's
apples and oranges to compare the homosexuality
question with the women teaching men thing,
because there is. There is a nuance

(01:25:59):
to our interpretation that's required based on
what different passages say. That same requirement
is not present with the Old Testament
and New Testament passages that talk about
sexual immorality and include. And now the
two years ago, three years, or whenever
we did. The love and truth message
in his image was the series. If

(01:26:20):
somebody wants to find that. The. The
truth message. I actually walked through every
scripture and every argument or the. The
primary arguments from the LGBT community that
tries to be Christian and say, well,
these passages aren't saying what you think
they're saying. Walk through all the arguments.
Usually it comes down to, well, they
were just talking about abusive or pedophilia.

(01:26:42):
It was either, you know, these power
trip kind of homosexuality things. That would
be a strange cultural gymnastics because we
don't actually have any culture that proves
those things. And I don't know if
I just lost some people in that
part of the explanation or not, but
yeah, Yep.

Yep, that was good. Next question.

I was looking for, did I. If
I lost, how can I help bring
people back? Or should we just. Or
is just a move on moment?

No, I don't. I don't think it's
a movie about his phone.

Well, when you said somebody, if somebody
want to find it, I was like,
was he trying to tell us to
find that so we can give the
specific date on when that was?

That's why I was like, for somebody.

That looked like, it's pretty. Looking for
that right now.

Just go on our website. You can
go on our website under sermons and
you can. There's a whole search function
in there of speaker and series. The
series was in his image. The message
was. I think. I think the message
on truth was called Truth in love.
And the message on love was love
in truth. And so it was truth

(01:27:45):
and love. It was two parts, but
there was too much to say for
35 minutes. So two sermons to cover
love and truth. So in his image.
But yeah, so we walk through the.
The common objections from the other side
to those passages that are pretty clear.
I mean, Paul even introduces a word,

(01:28:06):
invents a word to talk about men
who sleep with men. Like. Like to
use the marriage bed. And it's condemned.
So no way around it.

Yeah, no, I thought it was answered
well. I didn't have any feedback there.
The next question is still kind of
heavy. What's the purpose of making homosexuality
a sin in the first place, I
can obviously understand something like murder, which
rid a human life, but homosexuality seems

(01:28:40):
to not have any consequences. And I
can't say, see why it'd be a
damage against God or work of the
devil.

Can I answer that with sure. So
I. I think that would be better
word. It is, what's the purpose of
sex? Like, God made these things for
a purpose, and that's to procreate, that's
to multiply. So when it starts with
what's the purpose of whatever the question
was, I think the better question is,
what is the purpose of the man's

(01:29:08):
penis and the woman's voice? Vagina. And
it's only one way that canceled on
YouTube for.

I don't know at this point.

I mean, it's only one way that
that works. It's only one way.

We might have to rate this explicit
because you use those words.

I use the, the, like the doctor
terms. Right.

I don't know.

So anyway, I don't know. But to
me, it's kind of like God made
everything for a purpose.

Hydra kids. We're going to put that
in the description explicit.

God made everything for a purpose. These
things were made to be used one
way.

These things that we don't need to
define again.

These things that we don't need to
define again were made to be used
a certain way so that we can
be fruitful and multiply as humans. And
that only works one way.

Yeah.

So to me, that.

Yeah, it's the Crocs, man. They got
you speaking freely, so you toast free.

You may have a better.

No, I think you're, You're. You're absolutely
right. You know, why. Why does God
call anything sin? I think that we,
in our justifications for our sins, we
get a little bit too high and
mighty of ourselves.

Yeah.

We are not in a position where
we question what God calls sin. When
he calls it sin, we say, okay,
period. Like, I mean, it's. It. There
is a submission to this thing. And
so if God has a reason for
it that he didn't explain, explain to
us. Did he have to know? I
think that there are explanations for why
it's a sin too. I think, as

(01:30:35):
Asa pointed out, sex was a gift
from God for a purpose within confines.
We talk about it a lot that,
you know, if. If you refer to
set or you think of sex as
a fire. Fire is awesome in a
fireplace. Fire is not so great when
it's loose in your bedroom. Right. So,
like, there was a Time and a
place for this thing to be good.

(01:30:58):
And God says it's. It's within marriage.
It's part of the union. He designed
the bodies to be unified in this
way for a purpose. And it's a
celebration of this marriage that God has
brought together. So to take the thing
that God created for marriage between one
man and one woman and take it
outside of that marriage, that's sin. That's.

(01:31:21):
That's a problem. And so then you
try and justify, well, what if. What
if two men get married first and
they're celibate before. Marriage is defined in
scripture as one man and one woman.
And so you can't have a marriage
between two men.

And I think part of the problem,
too, is speaking.

I'm not saying that it doesn't exist.

Well, and that's part of the problem,
because when we affirm something that goes
against God, we start to add laws
and rules to it that actually do
damage. So it may not look like
any damage is done to have two
moms. Well, God created it so that
a child has a mom and a
dad. So as much as we in
our culture affirm those things, that does

(01:32:02):
damage because you're training up a child
in a way that totally goes against
God. So there's damage in that alone.
And then back to the divorce thing.
One of the biggest damaging, hurtful parts
of divorce is what it does to
the children. So, like, all of these
rules and regulations or something, standards that

(01:32:23):
God has given us. Therefore, he set
it up this way for a reason.
And he frowns on divorce because of
what. Of the damage that it does.
He frowns on two moms because of
the damage that it does. Like there's
damage in all of those things.

Absolutely. No, that's a great point to
bring up. I mean, the stats out
there are just staggering for the damages
of a child being raised without a
father.

Yeah.

And I think that because that's more
commonplace than a child that's raised without
a mother, we don't have as much
stats on the damage that's done by
that. But I would imagine that it's
similar. There's. There's at least some kind
of impact. I know my kids would
not be well off without soul in
our family. I mean, they're not getting
a complete parental unit when they only

(01:33:10):
have me. Like when my wife goes,
like, on a trip or something, and
it's just me with the kids. Like,
man, I feel like you guys are
missing out on so much. You need
your mom to come back.

And they are. Yeah.

And two Brents does not equal four.
It does not. Two plus or one
plus one don't equal two in that,
like, you need a man and a
woman to raise children the way God
intended for it to be.

So we compliment the sexes, complement each
other.

Absolutely.

So you remove one of those and
it's a mess.

Awesome.

So it's sin because God called it
sin. Do we have perfect explanation or
justification for why he called us in?
Maybe. But even if we don't, he
called it sin. So.

Yeah.

All right.

Period. What are your thoughts on digital
discipleship?

Oh, we're out of the homosexuality questions.

Yeah.

Loaded up all. It was just.

Yeah, it was all together.

You're still here and you don't hate
us.

Us.

This next question is for you. What
is it? Sorry, you railed us.

Bring it back in. What are your
thoughts on digital discipleship that's super popular
for the online Christian space? Basically, the
idea that you don't have to go
to a local church and you can
watch only online. What are your thoughts
on that?

I am pro digital discipleship. I am
con or anti. Your description of digital
discipleship in the sense that you never
have to go to a church and
you can just watch online. I think
that digital is a resource. It's a
tool. It enables people to get great
content, great teaching, all of that. But

(01:35:01):
you cannot be a disciple outside of
relationship. You've got to be in community
with people who are on that same
journey. And so can that happen digitally?
I argue that it can, but it
doesn't happen when you just watch a
service. I forget how they phrase that
end part, but it was something.

Yeah. Just watching online. Yeah.

Is that part of being part of
a community? Not really. Now, I would
go so far as to argue that.
And there's a lot of people, and
I love you, and this is going
to sound harsh, but there's a lot
of people that come to Disciples Church
in the building, physically. They come in
as the first worship song is already
ending. They walk in, they sit down

(01:35:42):
while I'm praying the blessing, they're up
and they're out the doors. I think
that they're just as not a disciple
as somebody that watches online only like
you are in discipleship when you are
in relationship, when you're in community, when
there's somebody that can speak into your
life, when somebody actually knows what's going
on in your life and when you're
struggling, they're there to pray for you

(01:36:03):
and they're encouraging you and they're doing
all the Things that we talk about
when we talk about discipleship, like, that
is. That's the requirement. So I am
super positive on digital discipleship in the
sense that it's giving resources to more
people in a broader swath of people.
We have members of Disciples Church that

(01:36:24):
for physical reasons, they cannot come into
the building. And so for them to
say they're not real disciples, well, here's,
here's where they go a step further.
They're actively serving in the digital space.
They're connecting with others. They're a part
of digital discipleship groups where they're on
zoom once a week, praying for each
other, connecting. And so they have found

(01:36:45):
ways to be a part of the
church in a virtual space. And I
think that that's actually what makes a
disciple not watching a sermon, whether you're
in the room or watching a sermon
online.

Yeah, I agree. I agree with that.
Especially since I'm over.

Especially that's because of your job.

Yeah, I agree. I've seen a lot
of things happen online in that space
that's. That's beautiful. And I think having
an out, like an opportunity to watch
service online is good. But.

Yeah, so, yeah, and just to follow
up on that, like in my discipleship
group, it's in person, but I have
a Zoom feed for those that can't
make it when they can't make it.
But outside of that time, when we're
together and we're doing something on that
zoom feed, the connection that's happening while
we're eating and just coming into it,
the connection that happens when I dismiss

(01:37:32):
everybody is totally missed. And I see
some of the most meaningful moments in
those meetings during those times where we're
not online. Like, it ends at 8:30,
but for whatever reason, men over there,
one on one, praying for each other,
talking to each other, hugging each other.
Like, stuff that I didn't ask them
to do, but because they're in the
building together and now they just heard

(01:37:53):
each other's stories, it's like, hey, let
me talk to you, because I might
have some offline advice to be able
to add to this. So it's a
major benefit to being in the same
space with other believers.

It's funny. The last night, so I
meet with my group once again a
week, and the last time we met,
there was something going on at home.
It was just. It was one of
those where it's like, as soon as
it was over, I had. I had
to run. But it was funny because
as I'm. As I'm leaving to Go
get my stuff. And because we meet
here at the church, two of the
guys from the group are still in

(01:38:22):
the room talking. I go downstairs and
there's two guys at the base of
the stairs still talking. I go through
my office, grab my stuff. I go
out into my car and they're still
two other guys from the group that
are standing by their cars talking. Like
there was this connection moment that if
it was, if this was virtual, we
say, all right guys, see you later.

(01:38:42):
End the zoom call. And yeah, none
of those conversations continued because we were
together. There was opportunity for six guys,
had great conversations with each other.

Yeah, that's cool. Absolutely.

Yeah.

Good plug for smart groups and discipleship.
All right, next question. Why would Christians
feel the need to own guns if
they believe God is their protector? The
purpose of guns is to kill. And
the Bible says that thou shalt not
kill. Is this contradicting false button again?

No. So, so I know that this
is a follow up question because on
Sunday somebody said, you know, can somebody
own guns? Can a Christian own guns?
And I was like, sure, yeah. Like
there's nothing in the Bible. I mean,
only thing close to it is Jesus
told his disciples to carry a sword.
I mean like so, I mean, you
could be pretty pro gun I guess
with that one verse. But yeah, so
I slapped the false button in a

(01:39:42):
couple of things. The only purpose of
a, of a gun is to kill.
False. It's used as a deterrent, it's
protection. There's guns used for hunting, for
sport. There's lots and lots of reasons
other than to kill. Also, the Bible
technically doesn't say don't kill. Sorry. It
actually says don't murder. So justified killing

(01:40:05):
is not murder. Can you kill in
war? So we've got a lot of
Christian men that are soldiers and I
thank God that they put their lives
on the line to protect our country.
And David was a warrior. He led
people into battle and so he, and
he honored God in everything that he
did. Well, maybe not everything because he
did have, but in, in carrying the

(01:40:27):
weapon. Right. So I just, I slap
the false button and I love you.
And I get that because you asked
a question about guns and then a
follow up question about guns. I get
that you're, you're pretty anti and I
respect that. And I'm not trying to
force you into owning a gun. I
don't own a gun. So it's really
funny that I have advocate for this
because it's not something that I do.

Yeah.

Even though there's other people in Our
office that do. And they always tell
me that I.

Need to go advise you to do
it.

And they keep telling me what gun
that I should get for my first
gun.

And I'm like, hilarious.

I don't know that I really feel
the need. I live in Manhattan. I
mean, I don't really need the protection
in that sense. And now somebody's gonna
break into my house.

Stop.

Anyways. Yeah, so. So, like, I get.
I get people's stance, and I do
see where gun violence. Violence is horrific
and it can be used in a
horrible way. However, I've also seen a
lot of instances where because somebody had
a gun, less innocent life was taken.
And so to make the statement, the
only purpose of a gun is to

(01:41:25):
kill. No, it's not. And respectfully, I
love you, but that's just not a
true statement.

Good answer. Next question.

The person asking the question probably didn't
think it was a good answer, but
that's okay.

Yeah. I mean. All right, anyway, next,
let us know.

In the comments what you feel about.

Doing hate mail, incoming hate mail and
downloading. Okay. Are angels made in God's
image?

I'm going to say no only because
the Bible doesn't tell us, but it
does go out of its way to
tell us that man was made in
God's image. And so to me, it
would be weird if he makes that
distinction if it was also true for
the angels. So can I point to
a verse that says angels were not

(01:42:16):
made in the image of God? No,
I don't. Maybe I'm misreading the Bible.
I don't. I can't think of anywhere
in the Bible where it talks about
angels even being created. The Bible actually
doesn't even say when or how angels
came into being. And so, yeah, I
think that God saying that he makes
man in his image is a distinct

(01:42:39):
quality. And so I would say, no,
angels are not angel theology. Than I
do.

I have no angel theology theology.

All right. Some people feel challenged or
shy where when joining groups, who could
they connect with with at church for
help?

Talk to campus Pastor Asa. He loves.

I was gonna say pastor.

I mean that, too.

Either of us.

I throw them at you because you're
here. No, but in. In. So like,
in reality, like. So Pastor Jason Parks
is over all of our groups, and
he would love to help you find
the right group. Pastor Asa would love
to connect. I. I can help try
and connect you, but usually when somebody
comes to me with that kind of

(01:43:28):
question, I just find Jason. So. So,
yeah, or. Or, you know, On Sunday
I had a. A lady say, I've
got a 19 year old son and
I'm just trying to find a group
and I was looking for you or
David or somebody and I forget who
I found.

You found a member of the group.

I was like, are you? No. First
I went to John and I was
like, hey, are you still in Grace
Collective? He's like, no, not really. I
was like, suck. Do you know anybody
around here that is. And he's like,
right over there he is. And I'm
like, thank you. So I got Sean.
Is that who I got?

And he was very excited.

I mean he did great.

Yeah.

Walked him through. Like what, what they
do, they exchange information. So yeah, if,
if you're. So I'm shy, I'm introvert,
I'm quiet, you know, that's why I
lead a group because then I don't
have to try and join one. That's
my secret.

We all know you do it on
his terms, right?

Yeah, I get to control things. Like
I even hand selected who's going to
be in my group.

That's another level as well.

Yeah.

The Chosen Part 6 coming soon.

I have my theory on you, Pastor
Brand.

I think everybody's got theories on me.
They're probably all true. And also probably
none of them are true, but yeah,
so somebody that's struggling relationally to get
connected, I think connect with our groups
pastor, connect with campus pastor or get
in a growth track if you haven't
done that yet. I think sometimes because

(01:44:57):
we talk about groups is where you
find community and serving is where you
make a difference. The reality is those
two things are probably more intertwined than
we give them credit. I think that
people find community by serving on a
team probably just as much as in
a group. The nice thing about the
group is you get to eat while
doing it a lot of times. So

(01:45:19):
that's a big win for me. But
teams is also a great way to
find relationship and it's especially for introverts
or quiet people like me. Serving is
actually how most of my relationships got
started at church, even at a young
age. I served in our children's department
as a kid. I served in our

(01:45:39):
tech and media department as a teenager.
And so like it was in those
serving spaces that I connected with people.
And so that might be a good
option for you too.

Yeah, yeah. My first friends at Disciples
Church, formerly clc, was from the prison
ministry because I joined the group right
away. And then we, my wife got
inspired to join actual group and we
joined Pastor Brent's life group. And the
only people we knew was now me
with prison ministry and her with Pastor
Brent's group. So. Yeah, so that's the

(01:46:10):
thing. Join a group of some kind,
whether it's a team or a group.

First time I really met Asa, he
put his toe socks. I ain't got
him on his toe sock feet on
my guy on my ottoman toe socks.

My toe socks. And Crocs get a
lot of love at this church. They
just need to give me some DC
Branded Crocs and toe socks.

I love it.

Okay, moving on.

Are we in the Disciples Church specific
questions now.

So we are. I was gonna save
this to give my. The Protect production
squad some hope. We are landing the
plane as the light go out. Andy,
did you set the timer? Set the
battery.

Battery died.

All right, let's land this plane. And
so funny in the midst of.

Me, we've been talking so long, the
battery couldn't keep up. Right.

And my iPad is not crazy now.

All right, so, yeah, so because I,
I like, formatted or all the questions
you did.

I was wondering.

So I threw all of the, like,
these are just straight up, like, Disciples.

Yeah.

Questions. So if you're not part of
Disciples Church and you don't care about
this, this is kind of officially the
end of the episode, I guess. Or
unofficially.

We want them to learn about.

I mean, yeah, these are. There's like,
three or four, like, very, like, how
come Disciples Church does this.

Or doesn't do that? Okay. Okay. Yeah,
you're right.

But, yeah.

Okay. Let's see how this goes. Why
isn't someone monitoring the parking lot? It's
crazy out there, man.

I, I, I'll take your word for
it. I haven't seen the parking lot
during a service in a long time,
so a couple things you should know.
One is our parking lot is technically
too small for our auditorium, and so
it becomes a complicated mess, which is
why for, like, first love and Easter
and, like, these big events. I don't
know if you know this or not,
but we have our staff and some

(01:48:01):
leaders, like, park at the school down
the street, and then we drive us
over. So, yeah, so it's. It's a
challenge constantly, especially as we're growing right
now in the season, I think there.
There's always been a team for the
parking lot. We actually rebranded them. When
I was over that department. Which you

(01:48:23):
were a long time. Yeah. Wow. I
was over all that for, like, six
months because the person was over it
was moving out of state, and so
I jumped in with my wife to
take it over. So we rebranded it
then from the Parking Team to Outdoor
Greeters because we wanted it to be
more welcoming and less like, militaristic, like,
get your car out of the way.

Yeah.

And so making sure that people were
friendly and happy. So the reality is
our church right now currently has too
few number of volunteers. We need more
volunteers. And one of the first places
that loses a volunteer is the parking
lot in Chicagoland when it's cold and
rainy and nasty out. So it's hard
to keep volunteers serving in that area.
So if you're frustrated by the parking

(01:49:05):
lot, join the outdoor greeters team and
help make it better for others.

Is it. Can I say period? No,
I'm just playing. Will DC ever have
a bus service to pick up members
who doesn't live, who do not live
in the community and are unable to
drive to church?

Sadly, probably not. I think the. The
nature of our church and where people
come from. A bus ministry I don't
think would be very practical just in
sense of that bus ride might take
like eight hours because we got people
in Chicago and in Manhattan and in

(01:49:47):
Matson and Country Club, Country Club Hills
and Orland park. And yeah, just the.
The reality of our. Our people come
from a lot of different places. It
would probably actually be more feasible for
us to do like a Tinley park
bus route. But yeah, it's. It's probably
not going to happen. But I'll never
say no to anything, like, definitively, like,

(01:50:08):
it'll never happen. I mean, who knows?
Somebody may be like, hey, we want
to bless Disciples Church with eight buses
and eight drivers.

Right?

Like, all right, look. All right, guys,
we got a bus ministry. All right,
head on out. Make it happen.

Guy David, that got baptized, he came
from. It's like 45 minutes away.

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's not unusual.

Yeah, I forget exactly the town, but
up near O' Hare somewhere. Yeah, he
came on down to 94, him and
his wife. Girlfriend, but girlfriend. Yeah.

So I love it.

I think if I remember the people
that I met.

I do. I love that.

Yeah. So it's just actually, I ran
a report one time where it was
like, I think only like 10 of
our church lives in Tinley park, but
that was actually one of the highest.
The. The highest percentage of members of
Disciples Church actually have a Chicago area
code or. Or zip code. So Chicago
was number one. And then Tinley Park,

(01:51:04):
Matson, and I think Country Club Hills
were all like, at 10%, so I
think it was like 15 Chicago, 10,
those three cities. Which leaves us with
another. What's the math that? Another 55%
of our church comes from other places.
No. No one city had more than
10% other than those three. So our

(01:51:25):
church is. We'd. We'd be known as,
like. What's the. The terminology for it
in, like, the church marketing world? I
think it's a. We're a regional church.
We're not a. A community church or
however they designate those things.

That's interesting.

And part of that is just the
nature of the south suburbs.

Yeah. The next question. My brother is
deaf, and I would love for him
to invite him to a service. Are
there any plans to have an ASL
interpreter included in services?

Hmm. It's an interesting question. We don't
have any plans. Several years ago now,
we did have a member that was
passionate about this, and so they started
doing some training to build a team
to be able to do that. And
I don't know whatever happened to it,
that was a pre. Covid thing. And
so it may be that Covid killed
it, but it might have been even

(01:52:20):
years before COVID I can't remember off
the top of my head. So I
don't have any plans. Not because I
don't think that there's space for that.
I think right now, it's just. I
don't know. Who would lead it.

Yeah.

Who would do it?

I hope this is pulling on your
heart. It's a lot of areas you
can step up and serve and lead
in. Awesome. Last question.

If you. If you stand somewhere where
you can see my mother during worship,
she will often start signing the worship
next to.

Her recently, and I was like, oh,
she's doing sign language as we worship.

Not all the time. It's like. It's
randomly, like. I guess the spirit will
move in such a way that she
just busts into asl.

Oh, boy.

I have a lot of questions, but.

Now that I don't even think I
have answers for, I don't know where
she learned it. We don't have any
deaf family members. I think it's something
she picked up, like, as a teenager.
And then it's just. It's. For some
reason, it's only in worship that it
will, like, randomly, like, pop back.

Wow. Okay.

You know what a really interesting question
would be? Is. Would that be a
form of. No, I'm. I'm going with.
Would that be a form of. Of
speaking in tongues? Because it's a different
language, and maybe she doesn't really know
it, but she's conspiracy theory time.

Oh boy.

Now I need to know, is that
inappropriate?

I didn't mean to make fun of.

No, no, it is that person.

Like.

Two and a half hours.

I legitimately have no idea why my
mother knows ASL or how she could
possibly know asl, but I know that
during worship she will often. Since I
was a little kid, she would often
like go into. I gotta ask her
now.

Yes, I need to know.

Yeah, I experienced.

Yeah, that's recently. All right, last question.
Which Bible story would make the best
movie and who would play the lead
character? So this is a fun question.
Right up your alley.

I figured that. All the heaviness today.

Put that one last.

Yeah, just leave us on a positive
note. The funny thing is I put
that question in there. Somebody else asked
it, but I put it in there.
But I didn't think about it. So
I have no idea. I've always argued
that David's story. I was just thinking
like cinematic. Cuz there's the rise and
there's the fall and like literally the
problem with turning David's life into a

(01:54:42):
movie is the runtime on that movie
would be longer than all of the
Lord of the Rings extended editions. Com.

Right.

Like I don't know how you'd tell
that story. Well if. Cuz like you'd
have to leave out so many things,
it would be so amazing. Like, like
for me, like man. Some of the
passages that talk about David's mighty men,
like the people around David would be
so interesting in a movie. So like
one of my favorites, one of his
mighty men, his name is Eleazar and

(01:55:10):
it says that Eleazar, once the entire
Israelite army fled and Eleazar stood his
ground and. And fought the Philistines until
his hand grew tired and froze to
the sword. Like that's literally. That's the.
And that's the only passage we have
of Elliot, this is his entire contribution

(01:55:30):
to the Bible is he stood his
ground in the field after everybody else
retreated. And it says that they only
return to collect the spoils of the
dead. So like he wins the battle
by himself and his hand grows tired
and freeze. I have a new answer.
I want Eleazar's story in a movie.
Forget David, let's just do Elias story.

(01:55:50):
Just Elliot, that one verse or it
might be two verses but that one
moment like cuz like so like I.
I love this verse. So. Yeah, no,
I'm learning out now. I love this
verse. So like I've. I've like looked
into like theologians and what do they
say? Like, what's the explanation for this?
His hand grew tired and froze his
door sword. And one explanation is like,

(01:56:11):
if you've ever, like, held on to
something for dear life to the point
where like, all of a sudden your.
Your hand cramps around the thing and
it's like you almost have to, like,
pry your fingers off of it. Like,
I don't know if you've ever experienced
that before. I have. It's crazy. It's
weird. And so some say that that's
what it meant by his hand grew
tired and frozen sword. But the other
interpretation is so. It is so boss.

(01:56:34):
I love it. The other explanation, and
people are going to be like, brent
is sick.

He's laughing by himself. No one's.

The other explanation is that he fought
so long and so hard that his
hands were bloodied from the people he
was killing. And the. The. The warm
blood, actually, because he was fighting all
through the night that by morning time,
it actually literally froze his hand to

(01:57:04):
the sword. So one explanation of this
is that his hand literally froze by
blood to the sword he was holding
because that's how long he had to
fight in that field.

That is pimped.

That's. Come on now.

That is.

Look, but you wouldn't.

You wouldn't even go watch the movie
because he don't like Christian movies.

Oh, if Christians made it, I probably
wouldn't watch it.

What if a disciple made it?

Wouldn't even watch it. So you got
all happy over a movie you wouldn't
even go see.

Yeah, but. Yeah, so. So probably. Probably
David, but you'd have to make like
87.

I'm packing. I'm sorry. Anybody ever pack?

What's your movie?

I got nothing. You got nothing right
now. These people ready to go?

Oh, and.

And who.

Who would. Who would play the. The
lead character? What's.

What's.

What's the dude from 300, Gerard Butler?
Is that his name?

Was that Gerard Butler 300?

If we're doing Eleazar's movie, I feel
like Gerard Butler, like, straight up 300
in that field. I think that'd be
pretty. Pretty impressive.

Yeah.

Well, on that note, as Pastor Brandon
nerds out over a movie he will.

Never go see, how am I the
only one that answers the fun question?

It's okay.

Well, he's over here having hungry. The
male menopause.

Right.

I need. I need people to drop
in the comments.

I agree on this video.

And let's go. What. What movie, Bible
movie would you want to see? And
who. Who would play the lead.

That's good.

You needed Carlton for that question. Y'
all would have went forever with that
one.

Andy. What Bible story.

Andy tired too.

Oh, a creation story. Yeah, that'd be
pretty cool. Okay, I like that. All
right, finally, I got somebody else's. Give
me an answer. It was a good
one too.

Those were good.

You people failed me.

I'm sorry. I was going to say
Esther. Angeli Jolie. And is it Angeli?

Angelina.

Angelina Jolie. I would love to see
her as Esther.

Is she a little old to be
Esther?

Wow. On that note, with the ageism
we're ending. We hope that these questions.
Young woman, we are landing the plan.
We love y' all. Thank you for
hanging out with us. Until next time.
See you later.

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Asking for a Friend Pt. 2 | Real Questions. Real Talk. No Holding Back

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Asking for a Friend Pt. 2 | Real Questions. Real Talk. No Holding Back