October 13, 2022 • 11 mins
Saying that should cease – Go Along to Get Along
While there may be some unique circumstances where we need to conform to the crowd, in general, we need to allow our uniqueness to shine.
Talli Osborne - https://talliosborne.com/
Talli Osbourne’s Tedx talk – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Fl_OCmKa8
Article on Talli opening the Punk Rock museum - https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/las-vegas-punk-rock-museum-1.6561820
Connect with Tanya Hewitt on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanya-hewitt-55804529/
Buy her a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/tanyah
Credits:
Adam Johns – voiceover - https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjohns730/
Beverley McKiver – composer and player of the music Tell Me About Love - https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleymckiver/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Adam Johns (00:03):
Welcome to Beyond the Minimum, where we'll be exploring the world of work. We'll be chatting about concepts, ideas and phrases, explore practices and delve into what good looks like. Work can be purposeful value lead, and more meaningful to all who interact with the workplace. This podcast is brought to you by Tanya Hewitt who lives in unceded Algonquin, Anishinaabeg territory, otherwise known as Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
Tanya Hewitt (00:33):
Recently, our dryer broke at our home, this caused a mini crisis in our home because a lot of us did have laundry to do, and we didn't have a dryer. Our dryer is rather old, we have adopted a philosophy of holding on to appliances as long as we can, because we don't like this entire culture of planned obsolescence, whereby a lot of products are designed to fail in a short period of time, so that you incentivize a continual buying loop. So we would like to hold on to our products longer than that. However, when our dryer broke, it is an older dryer, and I thought, oh, no, this is likely going to force us to get into a product that does have this planned obsolescence cycle. Luckily, though, my husband was able to use YouTube, and find suggestions on how to diagnose problems with this era of dryer, and was able to source a part and fix the dryer. And I just thought that is just so marvelous that not only did we not have to spend a whole lot of money on a product that likely is going to have problems in the next five years anyway, we could extend the
(02:10):
life of the product that is tried and true and works quite well by buying a very inexpensive part and fixingit. So I just think that this is something that obviously a lot of people grew up with in previous eras. But we're starting to lose in our current era. And I think that if more of us could start holding on to our products and allowing them to last longer. We wouldn't be promoting this planned obsolescence culture that we are currently in.
Adam Johns (02:49):
Today's episode is sayings that should cease.
Tanya Hewitt (02:55):
Hi, everyone, today's saying that should cease or at least be modified somewhat is go along to get along. So confirmation is so very entrenched in Western society, you know, fitting in, because so many places are just the way that a lot of Western people want to present themselves just to blend in with everybody else. In fact, I was on a webinar some time ago where I can remember one of the participants saying, you know, we are all meerkats, we stand up and look around and see what everybody else is doing before we choose to do anything ourselves, we're social animals. If you want an example of this, walk into a shopping mall. And if ever the fire alarm goes off, see what happens, people will wait to see what everybody else does, instead of reacting to the fire alarm itself the way that we have been trained in elementary school, to you know, stand up, grab your coat if it's cold and get out of the building because there might be a fire. But because of this go along to get along attitude that we tend to adopt as we grow older, we just are socialized
(04:18):
into making sure that we do what the norm is doing what everybody else is doing. More recently though, I haveseen a large move for authenticity. When I was younger in high school, which I won't divulge the dates you'll be able to know how old I am although I am 50 years old, so you can calculate it from that.
(04:44):
I went to a Catholic High School where there were uniforms. So the only way that teenagers who are often quiteentrenched in self expression could do so was with their hair, with jewelry, with other accessories, in order to stand out from the crowd to be distinguished as individuals from an otherwise a amorphous mass of teenagers going to a Catholic high school. I can't tell you how many times I have been getting advice to entrepreneurs, saying that you need to stand out from the crowd, you need to distinguish yourself from everybody else, you need to have a presence that is memorable. And that means that you have to be different from everyone else doing what you're doing. So this kind of authenticity message has been getting a lot of traction, at least in the circles that I have been going around.
(05:48):
Just to enforce that, I was recently introduced to Talli Osborne. So she is a woman from Hamilton, but she'sgoing to be moving to Las Vegas, I think. She is a punk rock, well, star in Hamilton, but she's going to be opening up the punk rock Museum in Las Vegas. And she is certainly distinguishable because she was born with no arms, and no femurs and no knees. As a kid, this was not something she was very proud of. And she wore prosthetics because she wanted to fit in more than anything else. But as she grew older, she realized that these prosthetics were not her. They were a facade that helped her show up in the world. But more and more, she began to realize that they were just crutches, literally that she was using that weren't authentically her. So she no longer wears prosthetics. She has a TEDx talk that I'll put in the show notes, where she very proudly talks about the way that she shows up in the world now, because she is very proud of who she is. Now, I don't want to take away from some of the marvelous advances in prosthetic design that are going on right
(07:09):
now, because there are amazing things happening. And these may help individuals functionality, but I hope thatthey won't rob them of their unique identity, the way that Talli Osborne had said that using prosthetics did in her case.
So this is a really, really tough message because social cohesion tends to favor those who conform. I was at awebinar not too long ago, where I offered that standing ovations have been cheapened. In my experience, it seems as though if anybody stands up after a performance, seemingly everyone stands. And I was told that context is super important for standing ovations. So giving or not giving a standing ovation at a rock concert may be one thing. But at an orchestra or an opera, it may be something completely different. In the ladder, there are movements in the music with pauses. And if you applaud during those pauses, that is actually destabilizing to the musicians and to everybody who understands the way that music is supposed to flow. So if you don't know how that music is supposed to flow, following the crowd is probably the most appropriate thing to do. And what most do in this type of scenario, so it's not cut and dried.
(08:35):
It's not every circumstance in which going along to get along is the wrong kind of advice to follow, or aninappropriate response. However, as a mantra for life or the way to live one's life, the way you show up in the world, perhaps it's not as helpful. We are all very unique individuals. And we should be proud to present ourselves as who we are and not who society wants us to be.
(09:10):
I thank you for listening. I don't know if this is your first episode, or if you are a regular listener,having really appreciated some of this content. I just wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate you for listening. If you would like to express your gratitude for this podcast, I would encourage you to buy me a coffee, head on over to buy me a coffee.com/tanyah that's buy b-u-y me m-e a coffee c-o-f-f-e-e all one word.com/t-a-n-y-a-h tanyah. I will put this in the show notes. And I would really sincerely appreciate your support. In addition to that, you can rate and review this podcast and I really, really appreciate that you are here listening to what I am sending out to you guys. Thanks so much.
Adam Johns (10:22):
Thank you so much for listening to Beyond the Minimum with Tanya Hewitt. We hope this episode aligned with you. Maybe it was diametrically opposed to us at any rate, we trust it made you think the more we can think about our workplaces and start talking about them, the more we can collectively make a real difference. If you're living in Canada, please find out the Indigenous territory in which you reside. Begin using it to introduce yourself. Please reach out to Tanya through her email Tanya@beyondsafetycompliance.ca. Connect and chat with her on LinkedIn. Follow her company Beyond Safety Compliance. And remember to ask yourself the question, How does your work look? Because we can always go Beyond the Minimum.
Welcome to Beyond the Minimum, where we'll be exploring the world of work. We'll be chatting about concepts, ideas and phrases, explore practices and delve into what good looks like. Work can be purposeful value lead, and more meaningful to all who interact with the workplace. This podcast is brought to you by Tanya Hewitt who lives in unceded Algonquin, Anishinaabeg territory, otherwise known as Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
Tanya Hewitt (00:33):
Recently, our dryer broke at our home, this caused a mini crisis in our home because a lot of us did have laundry to do, and we didn't have a dryer. Our dryer is rather old, we have adopted a philosophy of holding on to appliances as long as we can, because we don't like this entire culture of planned obsolescence, whereby a lot of products are designed to fail in a short period of time, so that you incentivize a continual buying loop. So we would like to hold on to our products longer than that. However, when our dryer broke, it is an older dryer, and I thought, oh, no, this is likely going to force us to get into a product that does have this planned obsolescence cycle. Luckily, though, my husband was able to use YouTube, and find suggestions on how to diagnose problems with this era of dryer, and was able to source a part and fix the dryer. And I just thought that is just so marvelous that not only did we not have to spend a whole lot of money on a product that likely is going to have problems in the next five years anyway, we could extend the
(02:10):
life of the product that is tried and true and works quite well by buying a very inexpensive part and fixingit. So I just think that this is something that obviously a lot of people grew up with in previous eras. But we're starting to lose in our current era. And I think that if more of us could start holding on to our products and allowing them to last longer. We wouldn't be promoting this planned obsolescence culture that we are currently in.
Adam Johns (02:49):
Today's episode is sayings that should cease.
Tanya Hewitt (02:55):
Hi, everyone, today's saying that should cease or at least be modified somewhat is go along to get along. So confirmation is so very entrenched in Western society, you know, fitting in, because so many places are just the way that a lot of Western people want to present themselves just to blend in with everybody else. In fact, I was on a webinar some time ago where I can remember one of the participants saying, you know, we are all meerkats, we stand up and look around and see what everybody else is doing before we choose to do anything ourselves, we're social animals. If you want an example of this, walk into a shopping mall. And if ever the fire alarm goes off, see what happens, people will wait to see what everybody else does, instead of reacting to the fire alarm itself the way that we have been trained in elementary school, to you know, stand up, grab your coat if it's cold and get out of the building because there might be a fire. But because of this go along to get along attitude that we tend to adopt as we grow older, we just are socialized
(04:18):
into making sure that we do what the norm is doing what everybody else is doing. More recently though, I haveseen a large move for authenticity. When I was younger in high school, which I won't divulge the dates you'll be able to know how old I am although I am 50 years old, so you can calculate it from that.
(04:44):
I went to a Catholic High School where there were uniforms. So the only way that teenagers who are often quiteentrenched in self expression could do so was with their hair, with jewelry, with other accessories, in order to stand out from the crowd to be distinguished as individuals from an otherwise a amorphous mass of teenagers going to a Catholic high school. I can't tell you how many times I have been getting advice to entrepreneurs, saying that you need to stand out from the crowd, you need to distinguish yourself from everybody else, you need to have a presence that is memorable. And that means that you have to be different from everyone else doing what you're doing. So this kind of authenticity message has been getting a lot of traction, at least in the circles that I have been going around.
(05:48):
Just to enforce that, I was recently introduced to Talli Osborne. So she is a woman from Hamilton, but she'sgoing to be moving to Las Vegas, I think. She is a punk rock, well, star in Hamilton, but she's going to be opening up the punk rock Museum in Las Vegas. And she is certainly distinguishable because she was born with no arms, and no femurs and no knees. As a kid, this was not something she was very proud of. And she wore prosthetics because she wanted to fit in more than anything else. But as she grew older, she realized that these prosthetics were not her. They were a facade that helped her show up in the world. But more and more, she began to realize that they were just crutches, literally that she was using that weren't authentically her. So she no longer wears prosthetics. She has a TEDx talk that I'll put in the show notes, where she very proudly talks about the way that she shows up in the world now, because she is very proud of who she is. Now, I don't want to take away from some of the marvelous advances in prosthetic design that are going on right
(07:09):
now, because there are amazing things happening. And these may help individuals functionality, but I hope thatthey won't rob them of their unique identity, the way that Talli Osborne had said that using prosthetics did in her case.
So this is a really, really tough message because social cohesion tends to favor those who conform. I was at awebinar not too long ago, where I offered that standing ovations have been cheapened. In my experience, it seems as though if anybody stands up after a performance, seemingly everyone stands. And I was told that context is super important for standing ovations. So giving or not giving a standing ovation at a rock concert may be one thing. But at an orchestra or an opera, it may be something completely different. In the ladder, there are movements in the music with pauses. And if you applaud during those pauses, that is actually destabilizing to the musicians and to everybody who understands the way that music is supposed to flow. So if you don't know how that music is supposed to flow, following the crowd is probably the most appropriate thing to do. And what most do in this type of scenario, so it's not cut and dried.
(08:35):
It's not every circumstance in which going along to get along is the wrong kind of advice to follow, or aninappropriate response. However, as a mantra for life or the way to live one's life, the way you show up in the world, perhaps it's not as helpful. We are all very unique individuals. And we should be proud to present ourselves as who we are and not who society wants us to be.
(09:10):
I thank you for listening. I don't know if this is your first episode, or if you are a regular listener,having really appreciated some of this content. I just wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate you for listening. If you would like to express your gratitude for this podcast, I would encourage you to buy me a coffee, head on over to buy me a coffee.com/tanyah that's buy b-u-y me m-e a coffee c-o-f-f-e-e all one word.com/t-a-n-y-a-h tanyah. I will put this in the show notes. And I would really sincerely appreciate your support. In addition to that, you can rate and review this podcast and I really, really appreciate that you are here listening to what I am sending out to you guys. Thanks so much.
Adam Johns (10:22):
Thank you so much for listening to Beyond the Minimum with Tanya Hewitt. We hope this episode aligned with you. Maybe it was diametrically opposed to us at any rate, we trust it made you think the more we can think about our workplaces and start talking about them, the more we can collectively make a real difference. If you're living in Canada, please find out the Indigenous territory in which you reside. Begin using it to introduce yourself. Please reach out to Tanya through her email Tanya@beyondsafetycompliance.ca. Connect and chat with her on LinkedIn. Follow her company Beyond Safety Compliance. And remember to ask yourself the question, How does your work look? Because we can always go Beyond the Minimum.
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