December 31, 2022 • 29 mins
I'm Bill Corbett, the author of the book LOVE, LIMITS & LESSONS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS and I've spent over 25 years working with parents and teachers with children with challenging behaviors. By listening to this creating cooperative kids podcast, you'll learn techniques for getting your kids to cooperate with you and the result will be having children who are more loving and fun to be with. These techniques are respectful to both you and your child and when practiced over and over, you'll find yourself with more peace and calmness in your home, or in your classroom if you're a teacher.
One day my 8-year-old daughter didn't arrive home from school as she normally did. I was working from home on this day and quickly became worried. I headed down the street and began retracing her steps back to the local elementary school. As I approached a tall fence that surrounded a ball field, I saw her at the back of the field and began to run toward her. She was being held down by three taller girls who were punching and kicking her. I screamed, "Get away from her NOW!" and the three girls ran away. I got down on my knees and held my daughter so tight, imagining what could have happened if I hadn't been home to go looking for her.
I don't have to tell you that bullying is a huge problem for our children's safety and well-being. Many national organizations that track statistics state that on average, 1 in 3 children report being bullied in some fashion and the results of bullying can be severe. Parents feel powerless when they hug their children goodbye, fearing they may be bullied or subjected to some level of abuse of bullies. But I can tell you that there ARE things parents can do every day to work toward raising their children to become more bully-proof.
In this episode, I was a featured guest on the TOTAL TUTOR RADIO SHOW and I offered a few tips on how to raise bully-proof kids. One of the most important tips you're going to hear me discuss is allowing your kids to speak up for themselves. When a child is allowed to speak their mind, discuss their dreams and just feel like they are being heard, it becomes easier for them to speak up for them self when approached by a bully. When they are confronted by a bully, you want them to have the courage to speak up and yell "NO", "Leave me alone," or to just scream HELP! But this courage is not developed the way it should be if the child's parents are constantly telling them what to do, speaking for them, telling them they shouldn't feel a certain way or just not listening.
I watched a father and his young son shopping in a grocery store the other day. The boy appeared to be about 8 - 10 years of age. The man was continuously snapping instructions at his son: what he could or could not touch, what he could and could not say. He was even controlling how many steps ahead of the shopping cart he could walk! This total control of his son was robbing the boy of expressing himself and being heard. By the end of the experience, it was easy to tell that the little boy was just mechanically walking next to the carriage, afraid to speak or move. If the father does this regularly, which I'd bet he does, he is training is son to succumb to the control of whoever is bigger and stronger then he is, at the moment. And the worst part is, he may eventually learn to be this way to others smaller and weaker then he is. This is how many bullies are created in the first place. Controlled youth go on to control other youth. And adults who were controlled, go to control other kids and adults.
To help your child develop the courage to speak up to someone who may attempt to control them, here are some tips you can begin using immediately. Take opportunities at least once a day to be in the moment with your child to listen and really hear them. This requires getting to their eye level, making and keeping eye contact, and letting them speak. It also requires that you NOT speak, at least not at the beginning of your moment with them. If you feel compelled to talk, ask questions to draw out more from your child by saying things like, "Tell me more," or "And then what happened?" or "And what happened next?" or "Why do you think she did that?" or "I love it when you tell me things," or using simple expressive words like, WOW, or REALLY, or OH MY! I encourage parents to have one of these 100% present moments at least once a day with each child. Children love these and may ask for them after they've experienced them.
Finally, avoid speaking for your child and definitely, avoid controlling their words and actions like the father I saw in the grocery store. As weird as this may sound, there was a news story a few years ago that revealed a pair of teenage girls working at an ice cream store down south was getting spanked by their boss when they did something wrong in their duties serving ice cream. When the authorities discovered
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
I am Bill Corbett, author of thebook Love Limits and Lessons,
A Parents' Guide toRaising Cooperative Kids.
And I've spent over 25 years workingwith parents and teachers with children
with challenging behaviors.
By listening to this CreatingCooperative Kids podcast,
you'll learn techniques for gettingyour kids to cooperate with you,
and the result will be having childrenwho are more loving and fun to be with.
(00:31):
These techniques are respectfulto both you and your child,
and when practiced over and over,
you'll find yourself with more peaceand calmness in your home or in your
classroom if you're a teacher. One day,
my 8-year-old daughter didn't arrivehome from school as she normally did.
I was working from home on thisday and quickly became worried.
(00:51):
I headed down the street and beganretracing her steps back to the local
elementary school. As I approached atall fence that surrounded a ball field,
I saw her at the back of thefield and began to run toward her.
She was being held down by three tallergirls who were punching and kicking her.
I screamed, get away from hernow, and the three girls ran away.
(01:13):
I got down on my knees andI held my daughter so tight.
Imagining what could have happened if Ihadn't been home to go looking for her.
I don't have to tell you that bullyingis a huge problem for our children's
safety and wellbeing.
Many national organizations that trackstatistics state that on average,
(01:34):
one in three children reportbeing bullied in some fashion,
and the results of bullying can be severe.
Parents feel powerless whenthey hug their children goodbye,
fearing they may be bullied or subjectedto some level of abuse by bullies.
But I can tell you that there are thingsparents can do every day to work toward
(01:55):
raising their children to becomemore bully proof. In this episode,
I was a featured guest on the TotalTutor Radio Show and I offered a few
tips on how to raise bully proof kids.
One of the most important tips you'regoing to hear me discuss is allowing your
kids to speak up for themselves. Whena child is allowed to speak their mind,
(02:17):
discuss their dreams, or justfeel like they're being heard,
it becomes easier for themto speak up for themself.
When approached by a bully or an adult,
when they are confronted by a bully,
you want them to have thecourage to speak up and yell,
no or leave me alone,or to just scream help.
(02:38):
But this courage is not developed theway it should be if the child's parents
are constantly telling them what to door speaking for them or telling them
they shouldn't feel a certainway or simply just not listening.
I watched a father and his young sonshopping in a grocery store the other day.
In fact, this just happened yesterday.
(02:59):
The boy appeared to be abouteight to 10 years of age.
The man was continuouslysnapping instructions at his son,
what he could or could not touch,what he could or could not say.
He was even controlling how many stepsahead of the shopping cart he could walk.
This total control of his son wasrobbing the boy of expressing himself
(03:20):
and being heard. By the endof the shopping experience,
it was easy to tell that the little boywas just mechanically walking next to
the carriage, afraidto even speak or move.
If the father does this regularly, inother words, at home or other places,
not just in the store,which I bet he does,
he is training his son to succumb tothe control of whoever is bigger and
(03:44):
stronger than he is at that moment.
And the worst part is he may eventuallylearn to be this way to others,
smaller and weaker than he is.
This is how many bullies arecreated in the first place.
Controlled youth go on to control otheryouth and adults who were controlled,
go to control other kids and adults.
(04:04):
Listen now to my interview and in theconclusion I'll offer you some tips that
will help your child begin developing thecourage you want him or her to have to
be able to speak up and be heard.
We're back to the TillEducation Network Radio program.
I'm the host of the show, Neil Haley.
And now I want to welcome BillCorbett from Cooperative Kids. Bill,
(04:25):
how are you today?
I'm doing excellent,Neil. Doing excellent.
I wanted to present something different,
different off the flip sideof this whole bullying issue,
and I wanted to present fourspecific things that parents can do
to raise their kids. Bully proof.
That means arming the kids toprotect themselves against those
(04:45):
bullies.
Wow, I like that because that's again,
when at schools we try toteach the kids to be able to
stop bullying the first place, notthe bullier stopping the bullier,
but
creating these suggestions forthe people involved in this
(05:06):
bully. Either the people that areobserving to the child, but this is great.
The parents are nowgoing to teach the child
ways of stopping to be ableto, I guess, armor a shield,
right? Bill to say shield themselvesaway from those bullies, right?
(05:26):
Yeah. And I'm going to offer fourvery specific things that parents can
begin doing right away.So parents were listening,
they want to get a pencil and paper andwrite some of this stuff down. And Neil,
I encourage you to challenge me onthese and let's discuss these because
they're each in their ownright are very complex
(05:47):
topics. So let's start with thefirst one, the very first one.
Number one is I alwaysencourage parents to talk less
and in fact let theirkids do more talking.
Parents are today running 90miles an hour trying to keep
up with multiple jobs. The world is morestressful, there's so much going on,
(06:09):
they're trying to pay the bills.
Parents have a very difficult lifecompared to the parents of the fifties,
sixties, seventies, and even eighties.
We've got to stop talking so muchto our children and let them talk
more. Now,
here's the reason why this is animportant point when a child is allowed to
speak up and is giventhe option to speak more,
(06:33):
that's how the brain works.When we talk things out,
how many of us just wouldlike to talk things out?
We don't necessarily want anybodyto tell us what the answer is.
A lot of the times wejust want to have a say,
your significant other or bestfriend say, hear me out for a minute.
And so you talk about an idea andsuddenly in your brain the neurons begin
(06:53):
firing and you go, wow,this makes sense, or No,
I figured out another solution tothe problem just by talking about it.
But all too often parents are inthis efficiency mode of, alright,
here's what you need to do. You need togo over here, you need to go do that.
You need to do this. And theirboss and their kids around.
And it's not because a lotof times parents are mean,
(07:14):
they actually have good intentions,
but there's so much in an efficiencymode of it's just easier to tell my kid
what to do. So we canget onto the next item,
but there's things that we can do intalking less and letting them talk more.
Like when your child walks up to youand says, why is the sky blue? Alright,
I'm going to start with a simpleone, especially with a little kid.
Why is the sky blue mommy? Well,
(07:36):
parents feel they have to go right intothe scientific explanation because deep
inside embedded in the parent is thisfear that my kid's not going to get it
right. So I've got to straighten themout right away and tell them exactly why.
And if you're driving with a littlebit of an older child and they say,
why do we have stop signs? Well, becauseof this, Sonny, let me tell you why.
But the best thing we can do in talkingless and letting them talk is to say,
(08:00):
I'm not sure. What do you think?
And amazing things happen when we stoptalking so much and we actually turn it
over and I'll give our child the spacein the room to come up with their own
ideas because a lot of times they alreadyknow or they learn more by speaking.
What do you think about that one, Neil?
Well, let me talk about this. I mean,when you're saying don't talk as much,
(08:23):
listen to the child,
I agree that some of the spouting offis something that sometimes parents talk
too much,
way too much that theylose their credibility with
the kids. They constantlylecture to the point where, okay,
especially if you're talking toteenager or a 10-year-old, 11-year-old,
(08:43):
they're just going to tune them out.
But I think talking is veryimportant at points in time,
and I think that talking to yourkids in a more of a friendship style
might be a better option thanlecturing. What do you think though?
Well, let's get to the bottomline here though. Alright.
We're talking about how to raiseyour kids to become bully proof.
(09:06):
They've got to have thecourage to speak up,
but too many parents ortelling them what to do,
whether it's in the tone of a friend orlecturing as an autocratic parent that
we've got to give them the courage whenchildren are given the opportunity to
speak up more,
that they take that courage withthem into the school yard and over
(09:26):
time eventually develop that samecourage to speak up to others.
So we've got to use our time with themat home to practice letting them speak up
and talk more.
I think that that's a very good point.
How are they going to know what's goingon if they don't allow their kids to
talk? Is that what you'retrying to explain, bill?
Yeah, and of course there'stimes where we have to talk.
(09:47):
I didn't say don't talk. I said talk less,
which means determine whichopportunities are there that
I can keep quiet and letmy child do the talking.
One of the things that bugs me is whenyou walk up to somebody and you go,
oh my gosh,
what a beautiful dress you have onlittle girl and tell me about it.
And the parent goes, oh, I boughtthat at Walmart. It was on sale.
(10:09):
I don't want to hear from the parent.I asked the child the question.
So too many parents are readyto speak up for their kids.
Yes, they are.
They don't allow the kids to speak andthen we wonder why they don't say hello
to us, bill.
And then they're afraid to speak up.
They're afraid to speak up in theclassroom or on the playground.
So let's go to number two.Stop doing too much for them.
(10:31):
Stop putting their socks on for them.Stop doing their homework for them.
Stop doing their chores for them.
If they don't get them done packingtheir book bag or their lunch,
stop doing their laundry forthem when they're 12 and 13,
you've got to pay attention to makesure that you're grazing capable kids.
Because in the home, again,
parents are in efficiency mode andthey do too much for their children.
(10:55):
The children aren't going to learn,grow up to become more capable.
And by being capable,
it means doing things on their own andby doing things on their own. Again,
it goes back to developing this innerstrength, this inner courage like, man,
I can do this for myself. And you knowwhat? We can connect that to our own.
When we're given more autonomy in ourjobs and we're given more responsibility
(11:18):
to do stuff on our own, wegrow faster as an individual.
We become more professional, we becomemore skilled at doing these things.
I'm always encouraging parents to stopdoing too much for them and let them do
the things on their own thatthey need to do. And like I said,
the child's 11 or 12 or 13 and you'retired of having the argument about why
(11:39):
their clothes aren't in thehamper or laying on the floor.
Turn that over to them,
set up an hour on a Saturday and givethem an instruction on how to use the
washer and dryer and start turningsome of these things over to our kids.
But isn't it our job bill togo ahead and help our kids
and to do things for them.
(11:59):
But defining that'swhat's important, Neil,
by setting our kids up with the skillsthey need, for example, the laundry,
you doing their laundryfor them, that helps them,
but it also creates an incapable kid.
But when you help them by giving theminstructions on how to do their own
laundry and turn thatresponsibility over to them,
it actually lifts the burdenoff of the parent and puts the
(12:23):
responsibility on the child tocreate a more responsible child.
That does make sense. I mean,
you don't want your kids tonot be able to do anything.
So when they're finally on their own,
they just worthless and just can'tdo anything. So I think you're right.
Maybe that is a good suggestion tokind of allow them the opportunity
to do things on their own andmaybe fall sometimes as well, bill.
(12:45):
Yeah, exactly. The fail, if yousaid fail, they've got to fail.
It's the failures that make us stronger.
And so you've got to letyour kids make mistakes.
You got to let them and don't be readyto run in there and necessarily rescue
them if you don't have to.
And don't go in there runningin there to scold them either.
Let the failure do the speaking, not you.
(13:06):
We have so many opportunities fortheir experiences to speak to them,
and that is actually more of a learningopportunity than what any parent could
actually say.
Okay,
I think that that's a goodthing and allowing them that
possibility. But I think as a parent,
it just seems like a lot of times wedon't want to deal with the headaches
(13:27):
either. We don't want to hearthem crying and complaining,
so we just do it for them.
Right?
Easier. Easier. Exactly. It's easier.
And I don't have to deal with theheadaches and I know things will be done
right.
But again, we're talking abouthow to raise a child, bully proof.
It's all in getting them to speak upand do things on their own because when
(13:48):
they're confronted with abully on the playground,
you're not going to be there toraise in and there protect them.
We're setting up our kids to become bullyproof so that when you're not around,
they can keep themselves safe.
Okay, well so far you've providedsome fantastic suggestions so far.
What's the next one?
Number three is reduce their screen time.
That means it's time to put some limits,
(14:12):
some boundaries around how often andhow long they play on the computer,
play their video gameson their cell phone,
whatever they're doing.
What truly builds the innerstrength is time alone by yourself.
When you can think,
we as adults come up withsome very powerful ideas.
(14:34):
When we think probably my personally,
where I come up with a lot of mygreat ideas is when I'm in the shower,
it is amazing. When I'm inthe shower, I've got no music,
I've just got the waterand my eyes are closed,
and I'm thinking about stuff that I swearevery time I come out of the shower.
I run into the room wheremy wife is and I tell her,
I just came up with a greatidea. She says, oh boy,
(14:55):
what did you come up within the shower? This time,
we've got to give our kidsthat opportunity to be where they can be alone and
quiet. Quiet time in the room,
quiet time sitting out under a treeand shut off some of that noise.
But sometimes when you leave themalone, bill, that can lead to mischief.
Well now,
not if you don't have devicesaround them to create that mischief,
(15:18):
we've got to let our kids go outsideand play outside in the backyard and do
things without entertainment.Electronics turned on all the time.
Okay, I see. So meaningnot the electronic.
I remember the timer youtalked about last time,
and that was a fantastic suggestionto pull out that timer so that those
activities are done at certain times,
but then when they're havingalone time by themselves,
(15:39):
make sure it's productive alonetime, not just alone time.
Because a lot of times if it'salone time with unmonitored stuff,
internet, video games, the telephone,
sometimes that could leadto a lot of problems.
Yep, definitely.
Alright, so far you've providedsome fantastic points. First of all,
(16:01):
we're looking at making them moreindependent in a lot of ways.
The ability to talk more, to communicatemore. And last but not least,
be able to have some alone time.What's that fourth suggestion?
And we can't control whata bully does necessarily,
and what we need to do isconcentrate on our own child.
(16:23):
Obviously if you are raising a bully,
then you're going to haveto do something about it.
But right now we're for this segmenttalking about how to raise your kid,
bully proof. So I offered thefirst three things is to talk less.
Let them do more talking.
Stop doing too much for them because youwant to raise capable children because
capable children are more capableof standing up for themselves.
(16:45):
And the third one was reduce the screentime so that they have more time alone
to think and become more peaceful.
I have some people in my life who the TVgoes on the first thing that they wake
up and they've got noise goingon around them all the time.
Now I know some of these people say,well, that's what helps me think. Well,
that's fine. But with kids,
what we really need to do is minimizethat interference around them
(17:10):
and allow their inner voice to comeout so they can hear that inner voice,
because that's a guidance system. Ourinner voice was set up. And some people,
like your first guest probably believeit's God's voice, and I do too actually.
But that inner voice that guides us,
that sets red flags up forus to pay attention to,
you are less likely to see andpay attention to those red flags.
(17:33):
If you have been raised to have noisegoing on around you all the time where
video screens are alwaysplaying video games,
you'll miss those cues that ourinner voices, the inner voices,
is supposed to be guiding us orintuition. So the last one here,
the fourth one is avoid giving children.
(17:53):
And you know what, Neil,
I'm sorry that you may getsome hate mail over this one.
Avoid giving social media applicationsto children and young teens.
I'm talking about MySpace,Facebook, email accounts,
unsupervised or cell phoneswith no parent controls.
Avoid doing that because what you're doingis you're actually giving them a door
(18:16):
to the bullies to access your kids.
Facebook was intended andcreated for adults, not children.
Facebook on their site, itsays that it's for kids 13.
I would love to find a way to fight thatbecause it's not Parents read that and
go, oh, okay, well as soon as you turn 13,
you can have a Facebookaccount in my book.
(18:38):
They shouldn't be until they're 15 or16 to give them those kinds of things.
So when we give our kids thosesocial media applications
and devices,
you're setting them up to have a one-wayavenue from the bullies to access your
kids.
Well, bill, I agree for the most part,
but what about when you'retalking about our world today?
(18:59):
If you keep 'em away fromthe Facebook to 15 or 16,
then they're not able toreally connect with friends.
They're not learning how to network.
They're not learning how to beable to really make connection.
I think that it's something that shouldbe taught earlier. Why am I wrong?
Because when kids are pluggedinto the social media devices too
(19:22):
soon,
they lose a grip on theone-on-one interactive
interaction. Sending people a message,
a texting people or sending 'em amessage on Facebook is not the same as
two-way communication.
They're doing studies now because it'stoo early and I can't wait a couple years
(19:42):
down the road when they finally reverserelease the information available
on the impacts to this,
kids are losing out on the benefitof learning the one-on-one encounter,
the person to person. Just oneof the impacts to this thing.
I challenge you, Neil, tell me onereason why we should give kids,
(20:05):
children and young teens Facebook.
Well, I dunno if there's any goodreasons. You're right. I mean,
I think it's a situation wherewhen you're saying 15 or 16,
I'll challenge you to say, I don't thinkmaybe until high school, but again,
I'm not high school untilcollege because in high school
they don't understand relationships.
(20:26):
A lot of times we're seeing the researchout there of kids that date during
high school,
how many of them end upwith just not very good
marriages down the line or situationswhere in high school they're emotionally
not ready. They're like ticking timebombs. Jason told me before teenagers,
and that they really don'thave any ability to really make the right decisions.
(20:51):
Well,
the thing you have to realize is whenchildren and young teens are using
the Facebook,
they are more susceptible to bullies.
But the bigger thing is the risksto their safety are much greater
than the benefits for them havingit. Now, some people say, well,
(21:14):
they won't be internet savvy likeother kids will be. I'm telling you,
it doesn't take long to becomeinternet savvy. It doesn't take five,
six years to develop skills on how to putup a Facebook post or how to answer an
email. I just think that'sabsolutely ridiculous.
So my point is that thenumber of risks outweigh
(21:35):
any benefit to a childhaving a Facebook page.
But this is a very volatile topic,
and I get feedback on my siteboth in support of what I'm saying
and against. So I know a lot of peoplehave different opinions on that,
but my point is there's no need forthem to have MySpace and Facebook and
email and unsupervised cell phonesuntil they get into high school.
(21:58):
They have a little bit moreresponsibility at this point in time.
They understand the responsibilitiesof relationships at this
point. When they're younger,they don't. They just think,
and a lot of times they make the wrongdecisions and there are so many childhood
predators out there that could preyon them. And also those bullies,
(22:20):
those bullies are waiting for people toget in the chat room or be involved in a
Facebook discussion sothey can humiliate kids.
Because bullies plan is to figureout ways to hurt their feelings.
And this is definitely a forumwhere it can happen, isn't it, bill?
Yeah.
And it's very easy to conceal yourtrue identity over the internet.
(22:42):
You don't really knowwho you're talking to.
You don't really know who your kidsare talking to. It's important. Well,
look at that movie that came out.What was the name of that movie?
Fish something or other where the womanhad created all these personalities?
There was one woman andshe had calmed these guy,
this guy into thinking that shewas dating him over the internet.
(23:05):
I think it was called Catfishor something like that.
But you have no idea who yourkids are communicating with,
and you can't leave your kid with awireless laptop overnight in their room
or anyway, along with atelevision and a cell phone.
I'm telling you the number ofpeople, the parents I've worked with,
the big problem is they give them cellphones and Facebook accounts when they're
(23:27):
little because it's cute, but thenit gets worse. The child develops,
their curiosity grows.
They begin to connect withkids who are not being
supervised.
And one of the biggest complaints Iget is my child is 15 and she's now
crawling out of her bedroom window usingher cell phone to set up meetings with
(23:48):
boys. What do I do? Well, it's too late.
You gave them all this stuff to createall these silent secret. Look at the,
there was what happened. The girlin New Hampshire, 11-year-old,
they just found her body.
The last time her parents saw her wassitting at her computer in her bedroom,
and then she disappeared.
So I see how you think it's sucha very important thing. Now, bill,
(24:09):
you've given us these four greatsuggestions. Four great tips.
Is there anything you want to add tothis bully proof identity you want your
kids to develop?
The whole bottom line is you want tocreate a relationship with your child so
that they can come to you with any issue.
(24:30):
And if we're constantly scoldingthem, punishing them, yelling at them,
we're being like our parents werein essence, I dunno about you,
but I stopped wanting to go to my parentsbecause I knew whatever I was going to
say was wrong or was goingto get me in trouble.
We need to create that relationshipto make them feel free to come to you
(24:52):
for anything, especially if there'sa bullying situation going on.
You want them to come to you and say,
I'm having this problem withthis kid at school, mom,
what do you think I should do?
But you won't have that relationshipif you're constantly, like I said,
scolding and reprimanding and punishingand being the autocratic parent.
Well, so the important thing isthat relationship, that friendship,
you need to bond with your kidsand not given to everything,
(25:14):
but ultimately so thatthey have relationships. So they'll want to come to you.
They'll want to tell you what's goingon and aren't going to be afraid to.
Right? And what helps that is youtalk less and let them talk more.
That gives them the abilityto say, you know what?
I'm going to go talk to my mom about this.
I'm going to go talk to dad about thisbecause they've been trained that I can
(25:37):
talk about stuff without getting intotrouble or without getting lectured.
Right. That's so true. So Bill, wherecan we find more information on you,
your books, your televisionshow, and your website?
Yeah. I've got a book series outcalled Love Limits and Lessons,
A Parents Guide to Raising CooperativeKids. It's been translated into Spanish.
(26:00):
I've now created the television versionof that book called Creating Cooperative
Kids. It runs on 35community access channels,
mainly in the New England region,and I'm adding stations all the time,
and it's a one hour program,
but everything can be found right thereon my website, www.cooperativekids.com,
cooperative kids.com,
(26:21):
and you can actually watch theTV show for free right online.
My book is availablethere. I've got a CD out.
There's all kinds of free resources.
I write a syndicated column thatruns in parenting magazines.
Always a pleasure and always you providesuch great information to the tele
education network families out there,
because we all know that being aparent is not the easiest thing in
(26:46):
the world. It's very tough.
Yeah, very tough, very tough.The parents need a lot of help,
and there's a lot of greathelp out there for them.
To help your child develop the courageto speak up to someone who may attempt to
control them. Here are some tipsyou can begin using immediately.
Take opportunities at least once a dayto be in the moment with your child to
(27:06):
listen and really hear them. Thisrequires getting to their eye level,
making and keeping eye contactand letting them speak.
It also requires that you not speak,
or at least not the beginningof your moment with them.
If you feel compelled to talk,
ask questions to draw out more fromyour child by saying things like,
(27:28):
tell me more. And then whathappened and what happened next?
Or Why do you think she did that? Or,I love it when you tell me things.
Or using simple expressivewords like Wow or really,
or Oh my. And make sureyour responses are sincere.
(27:48):
I encourage parents to have one ofthese 100% moments at least once a day
with each child.
Children love these and may ask forthem after they've experienced them.
Finally,
avoid speaking for yourchild and definitely avoid controlling their words and
actions like the father Isaw in the grocery store.
(28:09):
As weird as this may sound,
there was a news story a few years agothat revealed that a pair of teenage
girls working at an ice cream store downsouth was getting spanked by their boss
whenever they did something wrongin their duty serving ice cream.
When the authorities discovered thishad been going on for some time,
they asked the girls why theydidn't report this earlier.
(28:30):
The girls said that they were eachspanked well into their teenage years and
that they didn't think therewas anything wrong with it.
What kinds of control are you usingon your child right now that they
might think is a normal behaviorfor others to use on them?
If you have questionsthat I can answer for you,
I hope you'll consider joining my RaisingAn Independent Child Facebook page.
(28:54):
I'd love to hear from you and helpyou implement some of these ideas.
But let me caution you.
Don't try to implement everythingyou learn in this podcast,
especially all at once.It could overwhelm you.
Pick just one or two tips at atime and do them over and over.
Then replay the episodes ata later time to learn more.
If you need more clarification orhelp with implementing my tips,
(29:17):
contact me on my Facebook pageand I'll help you make them work.
Thanks again for listening,
and please consider sharing orsubscribing to this podcast.
All information in this podcast is theproperty of Bill Corbett and Cooperative
Kids Publishing. Copyright2023. All rights reserved.
I am Bill Corbett, author of thebook Love Limits and Lessons,
A Parents' Guide toRaising Cooperative Kids.
And I've spent over 25 years workingwith parents and teachers with children
with challenging behaviors.
By listening to this CreatingCooperative Kids podcast,
you'll learn techniques for gettingyour kids to cooperate with you,
and the result will be having childrenwho are more loving and fun to be with.
(00:31):
These techniques are respectfulto both you and your child,
and when practiced over and over,
you'll find yourself with more peaceand calmness in your home or in your
classroom if you're a teacher. One day,
my 8-year-old daughter didn't arrivehome from school as she normally did.
I was working from home on thisday and quickly became worried.
(00:51):
I headed down the street and beganretracing her steps back to the local
elementary school. As I approached atall fence that surrounded a ball field,
I saw her at the back of thefield and began to run toward her.
She was being held down by three tallergirls who were punching and kicking her.
I screamed, get away from hernow, and the three girls ran away.
(01:13):
I got down on my knees andI held my daughter so tight.
Imagining what could have happened if Ihadn't been home to go looking for her.
I don't have to tell you that bullyingis a huge problem for our children's
safety and wellbeing.
Many national organizations that trackstatistics state that on average,
(01:34):
one in three children reportbeing bullied in some fashion,
and the results of bullying can be severe.
Parents feel powerless whenthey hug their children goodbye,
fearing they may be bullied or subjectedto some level of abuse by bullies.
But I can tell you that there are thingsparents can do every day to work toward
(01:55):
raising their children to becomemore bully proof. In this episode,
I was a featured guest on the TotalTutor Radio Show and I offered a few
tips on how to raise bully proof kids.
One of the most important tips you'regoing to hear me discuss is allowing your
kids to speak up for themselves. Whena child is allowed to speak their mind,
(02:17):
discuss their dreams, or justfeel like they're being heard,
it becomes easier for themto speak up for themself.
When approached by a bully or an adult,
when they are confronted by a bully,
you want them to have thecourage to speak up and yell,
no or leave me alone,or to just scream help.
(02:38):
But this courage is not developed theway it should be if the child's parents
are constantly telling them what to door speaking for them or telling them
they shouldn't feel a certainway or simply just not listening.
I watched a father and his young sonshopping in a grocery store the other day.
In fact, this just happened yesterday.
(02:59):
The boy appeared to be abouteight to 10 years of age.
The man was continuouslysnapping instructions at his son,
what he could or could not touch,what he could or could not say.
He was even controlling how many stepsahead of the shopping cart he could walk.
This total control of his son wasrobbing the boy of expressing himself
(03:20):
and being heard. By the endof the shopping experience,
it was easy to tell that the little boywas just mechanically walking next to
the carriage, afraidto even speak or move.
If the father does this regularly, inother words, at home or other places,
not just in the store,which I bet he does,
he is training his son to succumb tothe control of whoever is bigger and
(03:44):
stronger than he is at that moment.
And the worst part is he may eventuallylearn to be this way to others,
smaller and weaker than he is.
This is how many bullies arecreated in the first place.
Controlled youth go on to control otheryouth and adults who were controlled,
go to control other kids and adults.
(04:04):
Listen now to my interview and in theconclusion I'll offer you some tips that
will help your child begin developing thecourage you want him or her to have to
be able to speak up and be heard.
We're back to the TillEducation Network Radio program.
I'm the host of the show, Neil Haley.
And now I want to welcome BillCorbett from Cooperative Kids. Bill,
(04:25):
how are you today?
I'm doing excellent,Neil. Doing excellent.
I wanted to present something different,
different off the flip sideof this whole bullying issue,
and I wanted to present fourspecific things that parents can do
to raise their kids. Bully proof.
That means arming the kids toprotect themselves against those
(04:45):
bullies.
Wow, I like that because that's again,
when at schools we try toteach the kids to be able to
stop bullying the first place, notthe bullier stopping the bullier,
but
creating these suggestions forthe people involved in this
(05:06):
bully. Either the people that areobserving to the child, but this is great.
The parents are nowgoing to teach the child
ways of stopping to be ableto, I guess, armor a shield,
right? Bill to say shield themselvesaway from those bullies, right?
(05:26):
Yeah. And I'm going to offer fourvery specific things that parents can
begin doing right away.So parents were listening,
they want to get a pencil and paper andwrite some of this stuff down. And Neil,
I encourage you to challenge me onthese and let's discuss these because
they're each in their ownright are very complex
(05:47):
topics. So let's start with thefirst one, the very first one.
Number one is I alwaysencourage parents to talk less
and in fact let theirkids do more talking.
Parents are today running 90miles an hour trying to keep
up with multiple jobs. The world is morestressful, there's so much going on,
(06:09):
they're trying to pay the bills.
Parents have a very difficult lifecompared to the parents of the fifties,
sixties, seventies, and even eighties.
We've got to stop talking so muchto our children and let them talk
more. Now,
here's the reason why this is animportant point when a child is allowed to
speak up and is giventhe option to speak more,
(06:33):
that's how the brain works.When we talk things out,
how many of us just wouldlike to talk things out?
We don't necessarily want anybodyto tell us what the answer is.
A lot of the times wejust want to have a say,
your significant other or bestfriend say, hear me out for a minute.
And so you talk about an idea andsuddenly in your brain the neurons begin
(06:53):
firing and you go, wow,this makes sense, or No,
I figured out another solution tothe problem just by talking about it.
But all too often parents are inthis efficiency mode of, alright,
here's what you need to do. You need togo over here, you need to go do that.
You need to do this. And theirboss and their kids around.
And it's not because a lotof times parents are mean,
(07:14):
they actually have good intentions,
but there's so much in an efficiencymode of it's just easier to tell my kid
what to do. So we canget onto the next item,
but there's things that we can do intalking less and letting them talk more.
Like when your child walks up to youand says, why is the sky blue? Alright,
I'm going to start with a simpleone, especially with a little kid.
Why is the sky blue mommy? Well,
(07:36):
parents feel they have to go right intothe scientific explanation because deep
inside embedded in the parent is thisfear that my kid's not going to get it
right. So I've got to straighten themout right away and tell them exactly why.
And if you're driving with a littlebit of an older child and they say,
why do we have stop signs? Well, becauseof this, Sonny, let me tell you why.
But the best thing we can do in talkingless and letting them talk is to say,
(08:00):
I'm not sure. What do you think?
And amazing things happen when we stoptalking so much and we actually turn it
over and I'll give our child the spacein the room to come up with their own
ideas because a lot of times they alreadyknow or they learn more by speaking.
What do you think about that one, Neil?
Well, let me talk about this. I mean,when you're saying don't talk as much,
(08:23):
listen to the child,
I agree that some of the spouting offis something that sometimes parents talk
too much,
way too much that theylose their credibility with
the kids. They constantlylecture to the point where, okay,
especially if you're talking toteenager or a 10-year-old, 11-year-old,
(08:43):
they're just going to tune them out.
But I think talking is veryimportant at points in time,
and I think that talking to yourkids in a more of a friendship style
might be a better option thanlecturing. What do you think though?
Well, let's get to the bottomline here though. Alright.
We're talking about how to raiseyour kids to become bully proof.
(09:06):
They've got to have thecourage to speak up,
but too many parents ortelling them what to do,
whether it's in the tone of a friend orlecturing as an autocratic parent that
we've got to give them the courage whenchildren are given the opportunity to
speak up more,
that they take that courage withthem into the school yard and over
(09:26):
time eventually develop that samecourage to speak up to others.
So we've got to use our time with themat home to practice letting them speak up
and talk more.
I think that that's a very good point.
How are they going to know what's goingon if they don't allow their kids to
talk? Is that what you'retrying to explain, bill?
Yeah, and of course there'stimes where we have to talk.
(09:47):
I didn't say don't talk. I said talk less,
which means determine whichopportunities are there that
I can keep quiet and letmy child do the talking.
One of the things that bugs me is whenyou walk up to somebody and you go,
oh my gosh,
what a beautiful dress you have onlittle girl and tell me about it.
And the parent goes, oh, I boughtthat at Walmart. It was on sale.
(10:09):
I don't want to hear from the parent.I asked the child the question.
So too many parents are readyto speak up for their kids.
Yes, they are.
They don't allow the kids to speak andthen we wonder why they don't say hello
to us, bill.
And then they're afraid to speak up.
They're afraid to speak up in theclassroom or on the playground.
So let's go to number two.Stop doing too much for them.
(10:31):
Stop putting their socks on for them.Stop doing their homework for them.
Stop doing their chores for them.
If they don't get them done packingtheir book bag or their lunch,
stop doing their laundry forthem when they're 12 and 13,
you've got to pay attention to makesure that you're grazing capable kids.
Because in the home, again,
parents are in efficiency mode andthey do too much for their children.
(10:55):
The children aren't going to learn,grow up to become more capable.
And by being capable,
it means doing things on their own andby doing things on their own. Again,
it goes back to developing this innerstrength, this inner courage like, man,
I can do this for myself. And you knowwhat? We can connect that to our own.
When we're given more autonomy in ourjobs and we're given more responsibility
(11:18):
to do stuff on our own, wegrow faster as an individual.
We become more professional, we becomemore skilled at doing these things.
I'm always encouraging parents to stopdoing too much for them and let them do
the things on their own thatthey need to do. And like I said,
the child's 11 or 12 or 13 and you'retired of having the argument about why
(11:39):
their clothes aren't in thehamper or laying on the floor.
Turn that over to them,
set up an hour on a Saturday and givethem an instruction on how to use the
washer and dryer and start turningsome of these things over to our kids.
But isn't it our job bill togo ahead and help our kids
and to do things for them.
(11:59):
But defining that'swhat's important, Neil,
by setting our kids up with the skillsthey need, for example, the laundry,
you doing their laundryfor them, that helps them,
but it also creates an incapable kid.
But when you help them by giving theminstructions on how to do their own
laundry and turn thatresponsibility over to them,
it actually lifts the burdenoff of the parent and puts the
(12:23):
responsibility on the child tocreate a more responsible child.
That does make sense. I mean,
you don't want your kids tonot be able to do anything.
So when they're finally on their own,
they just worthless and just can'tdo anything. So I think you're right.
Maybe that is a good suggestion tokind of allow them the opportunity
to do things on their own andmaybe fall sometimes as well, bill.
(12:45):
Yeah, exactly. The fail, if yousaid fail, they've got to fail.
It's the failures that make us stronger.
And so you've got to letyour kids make mistakes.
You got to let them and don't be readyto run in there and necessarily rescue
them if you don't have to.
And don't go in there runningin there to scold them either.
Let the failure do the speaking, not you.
(13:06):
We have so many opportunities fortheir experiences to speak to them,
and that is actually more of a learningopportunity than what any parent could
actually say.
Okay,
I think that that's a goodthing and allowing them that
possibility. But I think as a parent,
it just seems like a lot of times wedon't want to deal with the headaches
(13:27):
either. We don't want to hearthem crying and complaining,
so we just do it for them.
Right?
Easier. Easier. Exactly. It's easier.
And I don't have to deal with theheadaches and I know things will be done
right.
But again, we're talking abouthow to raise a child, bully proof.
It's all in getting them to speak upand do things on their own because when
(13:48):
they're confronted with abully on the playground,
you're not going to be there toraise in and there protect them.
We're setting up our kids to become bullyproof so that when you're not around,
they can keep themselves safe.
Okay, well so far you've providedsome fantastic suggestions so far.
What's the next one?
Number three is reduce their screen time.
That means it's time to put some limits,
(14:12):
some boundaries around how often andhow long they play on the computer,
play their video gameson their cell phone,
whatever they're doing.
What truly builds the innerstrength is time alone by yourself.
When you can think,
we as adults come up withsome very powerful ideas.
(14:34):
When we think probably my personally,
where I come up with a lot of mygreat ideas is when I'm in the shower,
it is amazing. When I'm inthe shower, I've got no music,
I've just got the waterand my eyes are closed,
and I'm thinking about stuff that I swearevery time I come out of the shower.
I run into the room wheremy wife is and I tell her,
I just came up with a greatidea. She says, oh boy,
(14:55):
what did you come up within the shower? This time,
we've got to give our kidsthat opportunity to be where they can be alone and
quiet. Quiet time in the room,
quiet time sitting out under a treeand shut off some of that noise.
But sometimes when you leave themalone, bill, that can lead to mischief.
Well now,
not if you don't have devicesaround them to create that mischief,
(15:18):
we've got to let our kids go outsideand play outside in the backyard and do
things without entertainment.Electronics turned on all the time.
Okay, I see. So meaningnot the electronic.
I remember the timer youtalked about last time,
and that was a fantastic suggestionto pull out that timer so that those
activities are done at certain times,
but then when they're havingalone time by themselves,
(15:39):
make sure it's productive alonetime, not just alone time.
Because a lot of times if it'salone time with unmonitored stuff,
internet, video games, the telephone,
sometimes that could leadto a lot of problems.
Yep, definitely.
Alright, so far you've providedsome fantastic points. First of all,
(16:01):
we're looking at making them moreindependent in a lot of ways.
The ability to talk more, to communicatemore. And last but not least,
be able to have some alone time.What's that fourth suggestion?
And we can't control whata bully does necessarily,
and what we need to do isconcentrate on our own child.
(16:23):
Obviously if you are raising a bully,
then you're going to haveto do something about it.
But right now we're for this segmenttalking about how to raise your kid,
bully proof. So I offered thefirst three things is to talk less.
Let them do more talking.
Stop doing too much for them because youwant to raise capable children because
capable children are more capableof standing up for themselves.
(16:45):
And the third one was reduce the screentime so that they have more time alone
to think and become more peaceful.
I have some people in my life who the TVgoes on the first thing that they wake
up and they've got noise goingon around them all the time.
Now I know some of these people say,well, that's what helps me think. Well,
that's fine. But with kids,
what we really need to do is minimizethat interference around them
(17:10):
and allow their inner voice to comeout so they can hear that inner voice,
because that's a guidance system. Ourinner voice was set up. And some people,
like your first guest probably believeit's God's voice, and I do too actually.
But that inner voice that guides us,
that sets red flags up forus to pay attention to,
you are less likely to see andpay attention to those red flags.
(17:33):
If you have been raised to have noisegoing on around you all the time where
video screens are alwaysplaying video games,
you'll miss those cues that ourinner voices, the inner voices,
is supposed to be guiding us orintuition. So the last one here,
the fourth one is avoid giving children.
(17:53):
And you know what, Neil,
I'm sorry that you may getsome hate mail over this one.
Avoid giving social media applicationsto children and young teens.
I'm talking about MySpace,Facebook, email accounts,
unsupervised or cell phoneswith no parent controls.
Avoid doing that because what you're doingis you're actually giving them a door
(18:16):
to the bullies to access your kids.
Facebook was intended andcreated for adults, not children.
Facebook on their site, itsays that it's for kids 13.
I would love to find a way to fight thatbecause it's not Parents read that and
go, oh, okay, well as soon as you turn 13,
you can have a Facebookaccount in my book.
(18:38):
They shouldn't be until they're 15 or16 to give them those kinds of things.
So when we give our kids thosesocial media applications
and devices,
you're setting them up to have a one-wayavenue from the bullies to access your
kids.
Well, bill, I agree for the most part,
but what about when you'retalking about our world today?
(18:59):
If you keep 'em away fromthe Facebook to 15 or 16,
then they're not able toreally connect with friends.
They're not learning how to network.
They're not learning how to beable to really make connection.
I think that it's something that shouldbe taught earlier. Why am I wrong?
Because when kids are pluggedinto the social media devices too
(19:22):
soon,
they lose a grip on theone-on-one interactive
interaction. Sending people a message,
a texting people or sending 'em amessage on Facebook is not the same as
two-way communication.
They're doing studies now because it'stoo early and I can't wait a couple years
(19:42):
down the road when they finally reverserelease the information available
on the impacts to this,
kids are losing out on the benefitof learning the one-on-one encounter,
the person to person. Just oneof the impacts to this thing.
I challenge you, Neil, tell me onereason why we should give kids,
(20:05):
children and young teens Facebook.
Well, I dunno if there's any goodreasons. You're right. I mean,
I think it's a situation wherewhen you're saying 15 or 16,
I'll challenge you to say, I don't thinkmaybe until high school, but again,
I'm not high school untilcollege because in high school
they don't understand relationships.
(20:26):
A lot of times we're seeing the researchout there of kids that date during
high school,
how many of them end upwith just not very good
marriages down the line or situationswhere in high school they're emotionally
not ready. They're like ticking timebombs. Jason told me before teenagers,
and that they really don'thave any ability to really make the right decisions.
(20:51):
Well,
the thing you have to realize is whenchildren and young teens are using
the Facebook,
they are more susceptible to bullies.
But the bigger thing is the risksto their safety are much greater
than the benefits for them havingit. Now, some people say, well,
(21:14):
they won't be internet savvy likeother kids will be. I'm telling you,
it doesn't take long to becomeinternet savvy. It doesn't take five,
six years to develop skills on how to putup a Facebook post or how to answer an
email. I just think that'sabsolutely ridiculous.
So my point is that thenumber of risks outweigh
(21:35):
any benefit to a childhaving a Facebook page.
But this is a very volatile topic,
and I get feedback on my siteboth in support of what I'm saying
and against. So I know a lot of peoplehave different opinions on that,
but my point is there's no need forthem to have MySpace and Facebook and
email and unsupervised cell phonesuntil they get into high school.
(21:58):
They have a little bit moreresponsibility at this point in time.
They understand the responsibilitiesof relationships at this
point. When they're younger,they don't. They just think,
and a lot of times they make the wrongdecisions and there are so many childhood
predators out there that could preyon them. And also those bullies,
(22:20):
those bullies are waiting for people toget in the chat room or be involved in a
Facebook discussion sothey can humiliate kids.
Because bullies plan is to figureout ways to hurt their feelings.
And this is definitely a forumwhere it can happen, isn't it, bill?
Yeah.
And it's very easy to conceal yourtrue identity over the internet.
(22:42):
You don't really knowwho you're talking to.
You don't really know who your kidsare talking to. It's important. Well,
look at that movie that came out.What was the name of that movie?
Fish something or other where the womanhad created all these personalities?
There was one woman andshe had calmed these guy,
this guy into thinking that shewas dating him over the internet.
(23:05):
I think it was called Catfishor something like that.
But you have no idea who yourkids are communicating with,
and you can't leave your kid with awireless laptop overnight in their room
or anyway, along with atelevision and a cell phone.
I'm telling you the number ofpeople, the parents I've worked with,
the big problem is they give them cellphones and Facebook accounts when they're
(23:27):
little because it's cute, but thenit gets worse. The child develops,
their curiosity grows.
They begin to connect withkids who are not being
supervised.
And one of the biggest complaints Iget is my child is 15 and she's now
crawling out of her bedroom window usingher cell phone to set up meetings with
(23:48):
boys. What do I do? Well, it's too late.
You gave them all this stuff to createall these silent secret. Look at the,
there was what happened. The girlin New Hampshire, 11-year-old,
they just found her body.
The last time her parents saw her wassitting at her computer in her bedroom,
and then she disappeared.
So I see how you think it's sucha very important thing. Now, bill,
(24:09):
you've given us these four greatsuggestions. Four great tips.
Is there anything you want to add tothis bully proof identity you want your
kids to develop?
The whole bottom line is you want tocreate a relationship with your child so
that they can come to you with any issue.
(24:30):
And if we're constantly scoldingthem, punishing them, yelling at them,
we're being like our parents werein essence, I dunno about you,
but I stopped wanting to go to my parentsbecause I knew whatever I was going to
say was wrong or was goingto get me in trouble.
We need to create that relationshipto make them feel free to come to you
(24:52):
for anything, especially if there'sa bullying situation going on.
You want them to come to you and say,
I'm having this problem withthis kid at school, mom,
what do you think I should do?
But you won't have that relationshipif you're constantly, like I said,
scolding and reprimanding and punishingand being the autocratic parent.
Well, so the important thing isthat relationship, that friendship,
you need to bond with your kidsand not given to everything,
(25:14):
but ultimately so thatthey have relationships. So they'll want to come to you.
They'll want to tell you what's goingon and aren't going to be afraid to.
Right? And what helps that is youtalk less and let them talk more.
That gives them the abilityto say, you know what?
I'm going to go talk to my mom about this.
I'm going to go talk to dad about thisbecause they've been trained that I can
(25:37):
talk about stuff without getting intotrouble or without getting lectured.
Right. That's so true. So Bill, wherecan we find more information on you,
your books, your televisionshow, and your website?
Yeah. I've got a book series outcalled Love Limits and Lessons,
A Parents Guide to Raising CooperativeKids. It's been translated into Spanish.
(26:00):
I've now created the television versionof that book called Creating Cooperative
Kids. It runs on 35community access channels,
mainly in the New England region,and I'm adding stations all the time,
and it's a one hour program,
but everything can be found right thereon my website, www.cooperativekids.com,
cooperative kids.com,
(26:21):
and you can actually watch theTV show for free right online.
My book is availablethere. I've got a CD out.
There's all kinds of free resources.
I write a syndicated column thatruns in parenting magazines.
Always a pleasure and always you providesuch great information to the tele
education network families out there,
because we all know that being aparent is not the easiest thing in
(26:46):
the world. It's very tough.
Yeah, very tough, very tough.The parents need a lot of help,
and there's a lot of greathelp out there for them.
To help your child develop the courageto speak up to someone who may attempt to
control them. Here are some tipsyou can begin using immediately.
Take opportunities at least once a dayto be in the moment with your child to
(27:06):
listen and really hear them. Thisrequires getting to their eye level,
making and keeping eye contactand letting them speak.
It also requires that you not speak,
or at least not the beginningof your moment with them.
If you feel compelled to talk,
ask questions to draw out more fromyour child by saying things like,
(27:28):
tell me more. And then whathappened and what happened next?
Or Why do you think she did that? Or,I love it when you tell me things.
Or using simple expressivewords like Wow or really,
or Oh my. And make sureyour responses are sincere.
(27:48):
I encourage parents to have one ofthese 100% moments at least once a day
with each child.
Children love these and may ask forthem after they've experienced them.
Finally,
avoid speaking for yourchild and definitely avoid controlling their words and
actions like the father Isaw in the grocery store.
(28:09):
As weird as this may sound,
there was a news story a few years agothat revealed that a pair of teenage
girls working at an ice cream store downsouth was getting spanked by their boss
whenever they did something wrongin their duty serving ice cream.
When the authorities discovered thishad been going on for some time,
they asked the girls why theydidn't report this earlier.
(28:30):
The girls said that they were eachspanked well into their teenage years and
that they didn't think therewas anything wrong with it.
What kinds of control are you usingon your child right now that they
might think is a normal behaviorfor others to use on them?
If you have questionsthat I can answer for you,
I hope you'll consider joining my RaisingAn Independent Child Facebook page.
(28:54):
I'd love to hear from you and helpyou implement some of these ideas.
But let me caution you.
Don't try to implement everythingyou learn in this podcast,
especially all at once.It could overwhelm you.
Pick just one or two tips at atime and do them over and over.
Then replay the episodes ata later time to learn more.
If you need more clarification orhelp with implementing my tips,
(29:17):
contact me on my Facebook pageand I'll help you make them work.
Thanks again for listening,
and please consider sharing orsubscribing to this podcast.
All information in this podcast is theproperty of Bill Corbett and Cooperative
Kids Publishing. Copyright2023. All rights reserved.
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