February 13, 2024 • 39 mins
Hey Friend,
We're rethinking the whole balance game. Instead of chasing after this idea of perfect balance, I'll show you how to weave harmony into your day-to-day. We'll explore how setting up time blocks can seriously upgrade your routine and how embracing the AIM strategy (that's Accepting, Interrupting, and Managing stress) can be a game-changer.
And because I know how tough this homeschooling journey can be, we're all about celebrating those little wins and patting ourselves on the back for the imperfections too. Plus, I can't stress enough how crucial it is to take care of you. Self-care isn't just nice; it's necessary for keeping everything else running smoothly.
I'll also share the scoop on setting goals that feel doable and the power of finding your tribe in homeschooling communities.
So, if you're ready to shift from feeling frazzled to feeling harmonious, this episode is your invitation. Let's embrace the beautifully imperfect journey of homeschooling and life together. Trust me, it's okay not to have it all figured out. What matters is we're here, learning and growing together. Can't wait for you to join me!
Next Steps:
1. Sharing is caring: If this episode, or any other episodes, have encouraged or blessed you, share with another homeschool mom. Share the podcast. Share our online community. Share what's encouraged you the most.
2. Learn how to have realistic balance: Book a strategy session if you're feeling swamped and looking for a way to breathe easier and enjoy this homeschooling adventure. The discovery call is free as you learn all about how I can help you.
3. Join me at the Thrive! The NCHE Homeschool Conference May 23-25, 2024, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. We'll be working on giving you a mindset makeover so you can embrace imperfection, and then we are going to practice the art of celebration. Register Here!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Is achieving balance between homeschooling and life just an illusion? Is it possible?
Is it something that we should strive for?
Well, in this episode, we're going to talk about the balancing act that we have
to have as homeschooling moms.
And we're going to talk about some practical tips for navigating it.
(00:22):
But also we're going to really look at if it's something we should actually
strive for. Is it possible?
And should it be a priority?
So go ahead and grab your chamomile tea with a little bit of elderberry,
your notebook, and a cozy blanket, and stay tuned.
Just like the safety instructions on an airplane, we must secure our own oxygen
(00:44):
mask before helping others.
Well, this is your reminder to put your oxygen mask on.
Music.
Hi, I'm Inga, a certified life coach and educator with over 30 years of experience
in curriculum and instruction. So homeschooling mom of four,
I understand the challenges and the overwhelm that can come from trying to juggle it all.
(01:05):
In this podcast, we'll explore practical tips to prioritize our holistic well-being
and simple steps to make homeschooling a little bit easier so you can stress less and enjoy more.
Sometimes we just need a reminder to take a pause, prepare,
and recover from the the demands of homeschooling and life to be still and remember
(01:27):
that he is God and that we can do all things and that includes homeschooling
our children through Christ who strengthens us.
So friend, I pray that you will take this moment to catch your breath.
Oh, I think this one is going to be juicy because balance is a buzzword for
(01:48):
sure. Sure, it's a buzzword in parenting, and most definitely it is a buzzword in homeschooling.
But before we jump in, I just want to know, how are you doing?
How's your week been so far? Have you been prioritizing some self-care?
If you haven't, remember that you cannot do this if you are not okay.
So that is important to balance.
(02:11):
And as we talk about balance, you taking care of yourself is a part of that balance. once.
Please know that I am praying for you and I truly hope that you know that you
are not on this journey alone.
So if you have not found community locally, know that you have a community online
that is cheering you on, supporting you, and wants you to do well.
(02:35):
Most importantly, we want you to take care of yourself because you can't do
this homeschool journey for the long term if you don't prioritize your self-care. Let's dive in.
It's unique, the balancing act that we have as homeschooling moms,
because we are balancing all of momhood.
But also all of our children's education. And that is challenging.
(03:01):
I just think about the fact that if we don't normalize the facts, that's challenging.
And so it can cause us stress. We are doing more harm than good to ourselves on this journey.
And we're actually doing more harm than good to the moms who are looking at
us thinking about doing this. So we're going to talk about that today.
(03:24):
And I really want us to shift our mindset around if balance is something that
we even need to talk about.
And then some of what I believe can help us as we try to navigate this.
So first of all, let's rethink balance, because I think when we think of balance,
(03:46):
we think of that balancing scale that kind of goes up and down and we need it
to be perfectly perfect.
And so we want to take a certain amount of things out.
We did that when I was in a classroom where we put rice in there to kind of
determine how much was the same or we did any of the things right,
really. But what happened is we would, you know, we wanted it to just be balanced.
(04:10):
And so I think most of us, that's the mindset we have when we think of balance.
We think of that perfect balance.
And that's where the stress comes in. Because if you're trying to perfectly
balance this thing that I don't actually believe can be perfectly balanced,
you will be stressed out most days because you're holding yourself to this perfection
(04:33):
that just isn't possible and isn't necessary. That's the part.
Perfect balance isn't necessary in homeschooling. And so that's the first thing.
So if we could just like take that, take that off our shoulders,
breathe through that one and know that we don't have to have it perfect.
And then the other thing we need to do is look at if it doesn't need to be perfect,
(04:56):
then what does it need to be?
I believe that it should be realistic and effective.
The balance that you need in your life has to be realistic in that it has to
be something that's feasible for you.
If you are trying to do what you see everybody else do, or more so what you
think you should do, do, then you're going to be completely stressed out.
(05:20):
And what, where I see that and where we can see that even in my own life is
when we think, okay, so I need to have the balance of a perfectly home that looks great.
So, you know, I don't know if you've ever done this exercise,
but I think it is, it is a transformative and necessary exercise where you talk
(05:42):
about your ideal homeschooling day,
that vision what is the vision you have their
homeschool day and you write that down and you really think about how
would it look from the morning time and how would it look during the
school time and how it would look with all of that i think if we do that most
of us will kind of see a a perfect balance if we were to write that down because
(06:04):
we would think all right so i'm going to get up early do my devotions you know
ideally probably want 30 to 60 minutes so So we might write that down and then we think,
and then we'd have kids get up on time,
eat breakfast at a reasonable time.
And most of us probably would be comfortable starting in anywhere between the
eight and nine o'clock time.
(06:25):
We do our four and a half hours of school, maybe even six.
It's beautiful. We have, we kind of, we do it in the beginning.
Then we have a lunch that's really well and organized and delicious and nutritious and the whole nine.
And then we go back, finish up the rest of that day, close our school day,
(06:46):
put it away, and then move into chores and dinners and some of whatever the
other things are. Right.
And I don't know if that's what your perfect one looks like,
but that is a really great exercise to do to see, to help yourself to see what
you're measuring, what you're doing by.
(07:06):
Because when you have an ideal and an expectation of what you think it should
look like, and even an expectation of a vision of what you hope it would look
like, not that that's wrong,
but that is the starting point to see why you might feel stressed out and like
(07:28):
you're not doing enough because of whatever you're measuring your body.
And like I said, it's not necessarily right or wrong.
It's just that it helps you to see, oh, okay.
But it is important for us to be realistic with our situation,
our home, our homeschool.
(07:48):
Recognizing if you have, realistic to me is if you have a baby that is a newborn,
that is not walking and talking, not getting their own food,
they require your attention.
Your balance will look different than my balance that has a seven-year-old and
(08:10):
a 10-year-old and a 14-year-old a 12-year-old.
So that if we are talking about, you know, I see a lot of times we ask people
about their schedules and we ask, what's your ideal schedule and what are you working through?
But if I have not taken into consideration that I have a newborn or a young
baby that has its own schedule that requires me to do something different with him,
(08:35):
you know, if I'm nursing or if there are naps in place or just whatever that is,
then I'm stressed out because I wasn't realistic.
I didn't start with what are the parameters and the things in my home? How does that look?
How does that, what are the things that are unique to our home?
So for instance, when my husband traveled all of the time, I had to take that into consideration.
(09:00):
And while I sometimes like to put on my superwoman and cape and pretend that I could do it all.
The reality is I had to actually really think about my capacity in this season
and recognize that the balance was gonna look different for whatever reason it was.
So that's that first thing that you have to realize what's realistic for you and your family.
(09:23):
And then you have to determine what's effective for you and your family because
something that could be effective for you guys may not be effective for somebody
else. But if it's effective, that's really all that matters.
So it is important that you actually are paying attention to what's effective
so that you can continue to build on that.
(09:44):
But you have to recognize that your balance, your situation is going to seem
different or will be different than somebody else's.
And then you have to give yourself permission to say it's okay.
Because what you're looking for, as I said before, is, is it effective,
right? We don't need it to be perfect.
(10:05):
We need it to be realistic and we need it to be effective. And that's going
to look different for everybody.
One of the most important things that we have to remember is that homeschooling
is a part of our our life, not the other way around.
If we prioritize homeschooling first and then try to fit our life into homeschooling,
(10:27):
the balance will be off, we'll be stressed out, and we'll be miserable.
So we have to ensure that we understand that we are living life,
we're raising our family, we're nurturing our family, and now we have taken
on the education of our children and we want to then place that within our life.
So as we are adjusting and shifting things, we do have to adjust and shift some
(10:54):
of our life, but we don't want to adjust and shift so much of our life that
homeschooling becomes everything.
Because that is going to stress us out. We're not going to enjoy the journey.
We definitely have to prioritize it. But as we're looking at our life in totality,
our day in totality, we're seeing how do we fit this homeschooling part in.
(11:18):
We want to create some boundaries around fitting homeschooling in so that it
is important. Because that's the thing.
It is an important part of our life.
We have to prioritize it. We have to make room at our life table, if you will.
That was corny, but it's the first thing that came to my mind.
(11:40):
But I'm just thinking of how we make space within our home, within our life, at our table.
I know, but that's what I was thinking. give. But we just make space for it.
And when we do that, then we know, okay, you have a place at this table.
You're not the whole table. You're not everything.
That helps us in terms of how we create our day.
(12:03):
And we don't, because what happens, let's just be real. What really happens
is we decide to homeschool and it's huge.
It is huge to take on the responsibility of the education of your child.
I believe that it's huge.
So we take that on and now we've got all of the things to figure out.
We've got to figure out what to teach, when to teach, how to teach,
(12:24):
where to teach, who are the children that we're teaching because we know them
as our children, but now we have to learn them as students.
We've got to learn who we are as the teaching parent, all of these different
things. And it can be overwhelming because of that.
And so that is, it's actually really normal as you're starting to go into it to feel that.
(12:45):
But it then becomes our everything. So that's all we talk about.
That's all we think about.
And our balance is way off.
And then we do what I'll just say what I do sometimes.
And what I've done in the past is then go all the way on the other side of that
and say, I got to make sure everything is balanced.
(13:05):
And so I become like the balance police. lease.
And it feels like I'm on this tight rope walk of balance.
And it's like if there's one misstep, everything turns back to chaos.
And because of that, I know that perfect balance is just truly an illusion.
(13:27):
Instead of balance, what we really want to find is harmony.
One of my favorite things in songs I used to sing, I know, secrets being told,
but I used to sing in choirs at school, choirs at church, just in all the time.
And even now at home, whenever I sing, my favorite thing is the harmony.
(13:49):
I love to find the harmony, add the harmony, just anything that works with harmony.
And so I like to think of balance as harmony.
And the harmony for us is really being able to manage the ebbs and the flows
between our responsibilities of what we have to do, as well as our passions,
between the ebb and flow of homeschooling, the home part of homeschooling,
(14:13):
the schooling part of homeschooling, the education, all of those different things.
That's what we're really doing.
And so in order for that to happen, here are eight things that we have to do.
Just as a recap, we have to redefine balance. We have to recognize that for
me, when I was on this quest to truly have a balanced life, I was trying to
(14:35):
make sure that I had equal parts of work,
equal parts of homeschooling, equal parts of family time, equal parts of personal
time, like everything had to be equal.
And that just made it really challenging. And so I had to shift that mindset
and recognize that when we're thinking about balance, what we're really looking
at is prioritizing what's most important at the most important times,
(14:58):
recognizing that we have to make a decision about what those most important
things are when they are, when they're, and prioritizing when they need to happen.
And then we have to give ourself grace to focus on our priorities without guilt,
(15:19):
because where the balance becomes kind of warped and where we start to feel stressed.
At least for me, speaking to me for this one, is that I am trying to,
I'm doing a thing, but I'm not present in that thing that I'm doing because
I'm actually thinking about the other thing that I need to be doing.
(15:40):
Or what I should be doing.
So if I'm playing with my kids, then I'm thinking, well, this is going on too
long because I should be doing this thing.
If I'm working, I'm thinking I should be sleeping.
If I'm homeschooling, I'm thinking I should be paying bills.
If I'm paying bills, I'm thinking I should be cooking. Like all of those different
things and not really taking the time to prioritize them, to determine what
(16:02):
is most important within that time, within that day,
within that moment, even moment by moment, and then giving myself grace to focus
on that thing and that priority.
And even further than looking at just within that moment, that when I'm homeschooling, that I feel okay.
(16:24):
With just focusing on the homeschool
side of it. But if something happens that kind of throws that off,
like hubby calls and said he needs something or, you know, something else happens
that I still can transition to that moment and not beat myself up and think
that my balance is completely off.
Another really practical one, once we have redefined the balance,
(16:47):
is to really think about how we can implement some time blocking.
When I work with my clients, one of the things that we do after we go through
our mindset, because I think that
is extremely important to make sure your mindset is in the right place.
What we want to do is start to look at our motivation, why we're doing what
we're doing. And we talk about that and get those priorities out.
(17:09):
But then when we go to building momentum, we start to look at our time blocking time.
And really just a simple spreadsheet cheat
is what we use and we look at that and start to put
in all of those things that happen and usually
what we start with is saying like let's actually focus on what's
actually happening not what we want to happen but what's actually happening
(17:30):
because when we start with reality it's just easier to work from there because
now we can do some reflection and say okay why is this not working let's look
at this and we can plug in our work our self-care our family activities our our homeschooling,
all of those things give us this visual representation of our days and our weeks.
(17:51):
And then we get to see, is it more manageable? What I love about that is a lot
of times when you put it all on the paper, when you have it kind of in your
head and you don't know and you're not sure and you're like, what's happening?
And you're looking for that balance, A, you feel like you're off balance and
B, you feel like you're not getting all the things done.
But when you put it, when you time block it and you put it out there,
you get to see, oh, wait a minute.
(18:13):
Actually, I have more time than I think I have, or I have too many things on
this, this calendar on this time.
So I just can't do it. And now you get to say, okay, let's subtract. And so that's what we do.
I love to work through that time blocking thing, do it for myself.
I like to put colors on it. We do three colors, our green, our red,
(18:34):
and our yellow, and really look through that and be able to kind of shift and
say, okay, yep, this stays, it's working, let's keep going.
No, this doesn't work and let's change it. And it helps us to be able to really
see, be realistic about the time that we have and realistic about our priorities.
And we don't use that necessarily to say, well, your balance is off.
(18:56):
But if a client is feeling that, then we get to say, okay, but let's look at this.
Let's look at what is taking on, taking over the majority of your time.
And how can we prioritize some different things? Because if you're not feeling
good about how you're using your times, that means that we got to look at our
priorities and our goals and switch that up.
And I want you to know that when you're doing this on your own,
(19:20):
sometimes it's just hard to see some of those things.
And so if this is something that you're like, the time blocking sounds a little
bit too much out of my wheelhouse, that is what I love to work with clients
about and just help us to get to put that on the calendar. And that's one piece of it.
So that's just one piece, but it's such an important piece.
(19:40):
The next thing you want to look at is accepting and delegating.
There's something called the AIM approach, the A-I-M,
and that's really about helping us to manage our stress better,
but it really can be used in all different aspects of our life.
(20:01):
So the A is for accepting that stress happens.
That is a really important thing because when I was doing this,
even thinking about this podcast,
I have to tell you that as we were talking about all the different things and
my coach was kind of working through things with me and I was asking people for feedback.
One of the things I wanted to do was really to help people manage stress.
(20:24):
And a lot of times the things that are connected with that is stress-free.
And so we're like, should we do stress-free homeschooling, you know,
get rid of your stress, all of that.
And that just didn't feel, it didn't sit with me really well because I knew
that that was not realistic.
Like I cannot tell you, I want you to manage the stress, but that's because
I know there's going to be stress. So like, let's just be clear about that.
(20:45):
There's going to be some stress when it comes to life, when it comes to homeschooling,
when it comes to raising your children, your job, whatever it is,
there's going to be some stress.
So that first part of AIM is that we accept that stress happens. happens.
But then what we want to do when we think about that managing piece is the I.
We want to interrupt our negative thoughts.
(21:07):
So what we have negative thoughts about this whole aspect of balance.
And so when we're in that place where we're feeling unbalanced and we have those
negative thoughts, a lot of times it's because we have a different definition
of what we think balance should be.
But it's also because we're telling ourselves that not having balance isn't,
a part of our identity. Like we're naming that and saying that we're a failure
(21:29):
or we're not organized or we're just whatever it is.
And so we want to interrupt those negative thoughts and we want to manage our expectations.
So what does that look like? Well, number one, it's important to recognize that
you can't do everything yourself and that's okay.
You can't even probably do all of the things on your list because,
you know, we have those mammoths and those super long to-do lists.
(21:54):
So that's the first thing that we just want to accept that we really can't do
everything on that list and recognize that we're going to have some stress if
we're trying to do all those things, but that we're going to have stress in homeschooling.
So even if we take some of those things off of our list, we're going to have some stress.
And then we want to delegate, we want to interrupt those thoughts, right?
(22:15):
Whatever we've told ourself, but then Then our expectations can be that,
A, I don't have to do this all by myself.
I can ask for some help. I can subtract some things off and simplify.
I love subtract and simplify.
I can adjust some things. I can delegate some things.
I can involve my children in some of my chores. chores I
(22:35):
can ask my husband for support I can ask family
members I can make sure that I'm a part of a supportive community
I can ask them for support and so I
recognize that I actually don't have to balance everything on my own I don't
have to keep all the plates spinning I don't have to hold all the plates I don't
have to do all the things I can actually come in and do some things differently
(22:56):
but in order I believe to get to that part where we're managing we first have
to accept it that that stress happens.
So it's not that I'm trying to alleviate all stress.
I just want to be able to manage it better. And I have to interrupt those negative
thoughts that I have about them in order to get me to that place where I can manage stress.
The next thing we want to do is really important. We have to be able to embrace
(23:19):
imperfection. I did a whole episode on that, that perfection is a myth.
I am a recovering perfectionist and I recognize that it shows up every once
in a while and I still got to work on it.
And so I want to encourage you that perfection is a myth and it's a myth in
homeschooling. It's a myth in parenting.
It's even a myth in balancing and in doing all the things. It's just a myth. It can't happen.
(23:45):
So when we embrace that imperfection and when I say embrace it,
it's not like, oh, I don't have to do this well.
You could do it well, but still recognize that it doesn't have to be perfect.
And so as I'm trying to do, my schedule is not going to be perfect.
My day is not going to be perfect. My week is not going to be perfect.
I can make sure I prioritize what's important.
(24:05):
I can make sure I set my goals. I know what my weekly wins are going to be.
And then when I have those, I celebrate them. And remember that those weekly
wins can be as small as I got everybody out of the house on time,
which for me would be a huge thing.
So whenever I do that and we get in the car, my kids are like,
yes, mommy, you did it. I'm like, yes, look at us.
(24:27):
And then sometimes, depending on the season of your life, if everyone is fed
in that day, you've been able to read some stories and you maybe got through
a math lesson or you got through half of a math lesson, that's a huge win.
And you're able to say that. that the episode that I did before,
I wanna say it was 46, but it probably wasn't, but where we just talked about
when you're going through a truly hard season,
(24:49):
it's important in the midst of that, that you're looking at even those tiny
wins because when you're struggling and then you have those negative thoughts,
if you don't interrupt them and manage your expectations of what it needs to
look like in that season, you now start to feel like I'm not doing anything
right and it just, it sends you spiraling.
So we want to make sure that we are recognizing that
(25:13):
it's never going to be perfect and that it's okay to have
smaller wins that are big for us this next
one number five is really what you hear over and
over again throughout this whole thing when i talk about making sure you're
putting your oxygen mask on first prioritizing your self-care you have to take
care of yourself and it's essential to do that to be able to do anything that
(25:35):
resembles any kind of harmony in your life Because when you do not take care of yourself,
you can't take care of others and.
I've said before, I'll say again, I think self-care has gotten a bad rep because
of what has been shown kind of in social media and just in different ways.
And so we don't really like to think about it or we think I don't have time
(25:57):
for it because who has time to go get their nails done and a pedicure and a
manicure and a massage and the hair done and go out of town,
like all those things that make you think of self-care.
And that's one aspect of it. If that's the thing that feels like self-care to
you, absolutely. But we just mean, I mean, when I'm talking about self-care,
to really make sure that you're taking care of self.
(26:21):
And that means whole self. When I think of self-care, I think of your holistic
self, that you're thinking of those seven, in some cases, even eight areas.
You're thinking about your spirituality, you're thinking about your physical
health, you're thinking about your emotional, you're thinking about your mental
health, just all of those aspects.
And that when you're thinking about that, that you've thought about a self-care action plan.
(26:45):
So it's one of the things I work with my clients is like, let's sit and let's
make sure we have our self-care action plan and let's look at all of these different pieces.
What are the things you can do for each of these? And you think about that before. for.
So after you, and it depends on where you come in the process,
but it may be that you need to do the self-care action plan before you even
look at your mindset, or you need to do your mindset and then think about your
(27:08):
creative plan for how you're going to take care of yourself.
And it doesn't have to be big things. It can be 10 minute meditation.
It can be prayer time, your Bible devotions in the morning. It could be a short walk.
I've even told clients sometimes we can't go walk, just go outside and maybe
even walk around the house or sit on your porch or stretch in the fresh air
(27:29):
if that's your outside person. Go in your closet with a piece of chocolate.
Read a book for pleasure. Any of those things, whatever it is,
because it's different for everybody, but just make sure that you're finding that time.
I like to say that part of my self-care, which I think all of our self-care
is because of overstimulation, stimulation is that we just get some quiet.
(27:52):
So if it's 10 minutes of quiet, which is truly why I go in my closet a lot of
times, because it's just kind of a quiet area where I can just sit and just pause,
which I should get overstimulated with all the clothes that are there,
but it's just something to be able to do that. So find whatever that is.
The sixth thing is to set some realistic goals. And as we're thinking about
(28:13):
those goals that we think about for winning, we also want to make sure we're
setting realistic goals for both your homeschooling and for your personal life.
Because sometimes what is causing us the most stress and makes us feel like
we're not balanced is we have such high expectations,
such high goals about what our day will look like, what our day will look like,
(28:33):
what our children will be able to accomplish, what our house will look like at the end of the day.
All of those things and then it stresses
us out and then we're spending so much time just trying
to achieve this goal that's really
just a little too high for the season or the children or the space that we're
in and so we're not focusing on what's truly achievable and when you can really
(28:58):
look at what's achievable and doesn't mean to lower your expectations in terms
of like you don't want the best for your children.
But just making sure that these are achievable goals that you are setting for yourself, really.
And when I think about this, I'm really thinking about all of homeschooling,
but also all of what you do.
So recognizing that setting the goal for yourself that school,
(29:21):
that homeschool is going to look like school does, might not serve you well
because you might not be able to replicate that for most cases.
Or deciding that you're going to do every single subject and you've got even some extra,
what do you call it, electives and all of that, and that you're going to start
schooling at eight o'clock and you're going to be done at four and you're going to hit this,
(29:44):
that might be unrealistic and be setting you up to feel a lot of pressure and
even disappointment that may come from those unmet expectations.
So if you have achievable ones and that you really thought through,
and I believe that those goals are connected to your motivation,
the thing that's important to your family.
And when you can do that, then they become something that's achievable.
(30:08):
The seventh thing I think is such a key piece that shows up in all areas,
but definitely in trying to make sure that you're not under the illusion of this perfect balance.
And that's connecting with some like-minded of individuals,
some other homeschooling moms, homeschooling communities, that you have a space
(30:33):
that you can share your experience, you can share your challenges,
which is most important, you can share your wins, you can share your solutions,
and then you can find other solutions.
And that gives you a sense of belonging and support, but then it really helps with the balance.
You know, one of the things that I know about myself is when I get really...
(30:54):
I don't even want to say busy, but because I feel like I'm unfortunately right
now in that season where I'm just always busy.
But when I get overwhelmed, I have a lot of things on my plate.
The first thing that I want to do is separate from the social aspect and from
friends, because I just feel like my mind is just kind of clogged.
And I always feel like I need to be the best company.
(31:16):
And so if I'm not in that space, I'm like, I can't be that best company.
And so I pull away from that. And I find that the longer that I pull away,
I'm still stuck in that place of feeling overwhelmed and all of that.
But I don't even remember that I need it.
But then when a friend has either pulled me out or just said like,
(31:39):
you got to do it, or the Holy Spirit says, get out there.
I'm never regretful about that.
There's always something about being around like-minded individuals,
friends, especially homeschooling moms or moms even, or people just understand
what that feels like to have all of the responsibilities of being a mom and
(32:04):
teaching your children at home. home.
I always feel energized. I always feel a sense of belonging.
I always remember I'm not alone. And so that's key.
And then finally, talked about this before, and I just want to say it again.
Focus on what matters most. That's the prioritizing side of it.
(32:24):
That when you're thinking about that balance, if you're really thinking about
everything has to have this certain amount of time, you lose that freedom and that joy.
But if you think about what is the thing that matters most to me?
What are my values? What are my goals, my family's values, my family's goals?
What are the things that I want to be able to accomplish?
And when you can do that, it's going to help you to navigate the complexities
(32:47):
of all these different roles with more peace and more purpose.
If you have been homeschooling for a little while and you've never stopped to
focus on what matters, you've not taken an opportunity to To create your plan.
And when I think about that, think about your homeschool in that you're building this homeschool.
(33:10):
And in order to really build well, you have to become the architect of this homeschool.
And so you got to lay out a blueprint. You've got to be able to look at it and
say, okay, these are the things that I need to do. These are the things that are important.
These are the things that are going to be in place. You got to sketch that out.
You got to put that into place. Does it mean that it's going to be perfect? Absolutely not.
(33:31):
And if you've already been doing it, you got to go in and do some remodeling.
I love looking at home remodeling shows and especially when they're doing the
flipping, the flips, and then they go in and they see the house and they're
like, oh, it looks like it has a whole bunch of stuff, but we're going to be
able to do this. They have this plan.
But as they get in and start doing it, they recognize that, okay,
wait, there was this hiccup. There was this thing that we had to change or we didn't see this coming.
(33:56):
This is going to change, might change our timeline, might change our budget.
But then they create a plan for that and they keep on going until they get to the end part.
That's what I think about when I think about this homeschooling thing is that
if you've already started homeschooling and you never had an opportunity to
map out your blueprint, it's not too late.
(34:16):
And I want to help you with that because I want to show you that if you're spending hours on Google,
if you're spending hours on Facebook, even in groups, talking about the frustrations,
asking people for those things, it's not that those that you can't find help
and support there because there's amazing homeschool moms that are going to
give you all of that support.
(34:36):
But the reality is, A, you have to make sure that you're looking at your unique
situation situation and B, you need somebody who can hear you, who can understand,
who sees you and can sit and say, okay,
let's actually look at this and let's walk through a process step by step by
step that's going to get you from overwhelmed and stressed out to truly embracing
(34:58):
and enjoying this and being in this place where you can say,
I can actually homeschool.
Does it mean that you'll never stress? No. Does it mean that you'll never have
a time when you're like, uh, no, but what it it does mean is when that happens,
you'll have a plan that you will know what to do.
And more importantly, you're going to have a cheerleader.
(35:19):
You're going to have a cheerleader that's bringing all of my expertise as an
educator with over three decades in the fields, working with teachers,
looking at curriculum, looking at instruction.
Looking at all of that part.
A homeschooling mom like you, who's been doing this for the past 12 years and
(35:40):
understands the ebb and the flow, the up and the down, that whole thing.
And then a life coach who has mental health, wellness and instruction and is
able to give that support there.
Like all of those things are going to come together and you're going to have
me one-on-one walking this through.
That's the thing that is going to set this coaching apart. So you're going to
(36:02):
have all all of these pieces, and it's just going to be focused on you.
And I know that a lot of times we think that we can do this on our own,
and you can, you absolutely can do this on your own, but you don't have to.
You don't have to spend all of the time doing the trial and error.
You can have somebody that is walking this journey with you.
And one of the biggest things is I'm going to be your biggest cheerleader because
(36:25):
I know that once you get this, you're going to be on fire and then you're going
to go and encourage other moms.
You're going to be able to be there for them, cheering them on.
And this community continues to grow.
And then because I love children, even your children that I haven't met as yet,
I know know that you're going to be a better teaching parent to your child because of this.
(36:46):
So we want to get rid of this whole illusion of this is what balance has to look like.
And then I want you that if you've been thinking about this,
if you've been kind of on the fence, reach out.
Book a discovery call. Let's just see if I can help you.
Let's see if one of my programs is exactly what you're looking for and you just don't know it.
I hope that this has been helpful for you. I cannot wait to hear all about how
(37:12):
you have redefined balance and how it has changed your homeschooling life.
So make sure that you come to the community, let me know, shoot me an email,
or even just leave a review, share this podcast episode or the whole podcast
with another homeschooling mom so that we can be cheering each other on together.
(37:33):
And before I leave, I want to let you know that if If you are going to be in
the North Carolina area during Memorial Day weekend,
actually it's the weekend right before it, I will be at the North Carolina Home
Education Thrive Conference May 25th, I believe, to the 27th.
(37:54):
I'm not exactly sure. No, I think I have that wrong.
24th to the 26th, I will be at the Thrive Conference. And I would love for you to come and join me.
Let me know that you heard it here because one of my sessions,
we're having a celebration party
and I would love for you to be a part of it. You got to come to that.
(38:15):
So I'll put the link in the show notes or reach out to me and ask about it and
let's get you registered there.
I can't wait to see you right back here next time for some more encouragement. sure.
Thank you for tuning in. I hope that this episode empowered,
equipped, and most of all, encouraged you.
(38:38):
Don't forget to share your thoughts on today's topics because I'd love to hear
how you're implementing these strategies. And you can do that in the.
Music.
Tips for homeschooling and teaching your child, managing your stress,
and prioritizing your self care.
You can also ask questions there. You can participate in the fun challenges
(38:58):
and of course you can celebrate your wins because we like to party over there.
Also if this was helpful and you know that it can be helpful to someone else
leave a review or share this with another homeschooling mom who needs to catch her breath. Mommy!
Well that's my cue but before I go I want to leave you with these words from Philippians 4, 6-7.
(39:20):
I pray that you won't be anxious about anything, but that in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, you would present your request to God, and that you will
experience the kind of peace that surpasses understanding as you navigate the
stresses of life and homeschooling.
Until next time, remember to take a moment to catch your breath.
(39:40):
Music.
Is achieving balance between homeschooling and life just an illusion? Is it possible?
Is it something that we should strive for?
Well, in this episode, we're going to talk about the balancing act that we have
to have as homeschooling moms.
And we're going to talk about some practical tips for navigating it.
(00:22):
But also we're going to really look at if it's something we should actually
strive for. Is it possible?
And should it be a priority?
So go ahead and grab your chamomile tea with a little bit of elderberry,
your notebook, and a cozy blanket, and stay tuned.
Just like the safety instructions on an airplane, we must secure our own oxygen
(00:44):
mask before helping others.
Well, this is your reminder to put your oxygen mask on.
Music.
Hi, I'm Inga, a certified life coach and educator with over 30 years of experience
in curriculum and instruction. So homeschooling mom of four,
I understand the challenges and the overwhelm that can come from trying to juggle it all.
(01:05):
In this podcast, we'll explore practical tips to prioritize our holistic well-being
and simple steps to make homeschooling a little bit easier so you can stress less and enjoy more.
Sometimes we just need a reminder to take a pause, prepare,
and recover from the the demands of homeschooling and life to be still and remember
(01:27):
that he is God and that we can do all things and that includes homeschooling
our children through Christ who strengthens us.
So friend, I pray that you will take this moment to catch your breath.
Oh, I think this one is going to be juicy because balance is a buzzword for
(01:48):
sure. Sure, it's a buzzword in parenting, and most definitely it is a buzzword in homeschooling.
But before we jump in, I just want to know, how are you doing?
How's your week been so far? Have you been prioritizing some self-care?
If you haven't, remember that you cannot do this if you are not okay.
So that is important to balance.
(02:11):
And as we talk about balance, you taking care of yourself is a part of that balance. once.
Please know that I am praying for you and I truly hope that you know that you
are not on this journey alone.
So if you have not found community locally, know that you have a community online
that is cheering you on, supporting you, and wants you to do well.
(02:35):
Most importantly, we want you to take care of yourself because you can't do
this homeschool journey for the long term if you don't prioritize your self-care. Let's dive in.
It's unique, the balancing act that we have as homeschooling moms,
because we are balancing all of momhood.
But also all of our children's education. And that is challenging.
(03:01):
I just think about the fact that if we don't normalize the facts, that's challenging.
And so it can cause us stress. We are doing more harm than good to ourselves on this journey.
And we're actually doing more harm than good to the moms who are looking at
us thinking about doing this. So we're going to talk about that today.
(03:24):
And I really want us to shift our mindset around if balance is something that
we even need to talk about.
And then some of what I believe can help us as we try to navigate this.
So first of all, let's rethink balance, because I think when we think of balance,
(03:46):
we think of that balancing scale that kind of goes up and down and we need it
to be perfectly perfect.
And so we want to take a certain amount of things out.
We did that when I was in a classroom where we put rice in there to kind of
determine how much was the same or we did any of the things right,
really. But what happened is we would, you know, we wanted it to just be balanced.
(04:10):
And so I think most of us, that's the mindset we have when we think of balance.
We think of that perfect balance.
And that's where the stress comes in. Because if you're trying to perfectly
balance this thing that I don't actually believe can be perfectly balanced,
you will be stressed out most days because you're holding yourself to this perfection
(04:33):
that just isn't possible and isn't necessary. That's the part.
Perfect balance isn't necessary in homeschooling. And so that's the first thing.
So if we could just like take that, take that off our shoulders,
breathe through that one and know that we don't have to have it perfect.
And then the other thing we need to do is look at if it doesn't need to be perfect,
(04:56):
then what does it need to be?
I believe that it should be realistic and effective.
The balance that you need in your life has to be realistic in that it has to
be something that's feasible for you.
If you are trying to do what you see everybody else do, or more so what you
think you should do, do, then you're going to be completely stressed out.
(05:20):
And what, where I see that and where we can see that even in my own life is
when we think, okay, so I need to have the balance of a perfectly home that looks great.
So, you know, I don't know if you've ever done this exercise,
but I think it is, it is a transformative and necessary exercise where you talk
(05:42):
about your ideal homeschooling day,
that vision what is the vision you have their
homeschool day and you write that down and you really think about how
would it look from the morning time and how would it look during the
school time and how it would look with all of that i think if we do that most
of us will kind of see a a perfect balance if we were to write that down because
(06:04):
we would think all right so i'm going to get up early do my devotions you know
ideally probably want 30 to 60 minutes so So we might write that down and then we think,
and then we'd have kids get up on time,
eat breakfast at a reasonable time.
And most of us probably would be comfortable starting in anywhere between the
eight and nine o'clock time.
(06:25):
We do our four and a half hours of school, maybe even six.
It's beautiful. We have, we kind of, we do it in the beginning.
Then we have a lunch that's really well and organized and delicious and nutritious and the whole nine.
And then we go back, finish up the rest of that day, close our school day,
(06:46):
put it away, and then move into chores and dinners and some of whatever the
other things are. Right.
And I don't know if that's what your perfect one looks like,
but that is a really great exercise to do to see, to help yourself to see what
you're measuring, what you're doing by.
(07:06):
Because when you have an ideal and an expectation of what you think it should
look like, and even an expectation of a vision of what you hope it would look
like, not that that's wrong,
but that is the starting point to see why you might feel stressed out and like
(07:28):
you're not doing enough because of whatever you're measuring your body.
And like I said, it's not necessarily right or wrong.
It's just that it helps you to see, oh, okay.
But it is important for us to be realistic with our situation,
our home, our homeschool.
(07:48):
Recognizing if you have, realistic to me is if you have a baby that is a newborn,
that is not walking and talking, not getting their own food,
they require your attention.
Your balance will look different than my balance that has a seven-year-old and
(08:10):
a 10-year-old and a 14-year-old a 12-year-old.
So that if we are talking about, you know, I see a lot of times we ask people
about their schedules and we ask, what's your ideal schedule and what are you working through?
But if I have not taken into consideration that I have a newborn or a young
baby that has its own schedule that requires me to do something different with him,
(08:35):
you know, if I'm nursing or if there are naps in place or just whatever that is,
then I'm stressed out because I wasn't realistic.
I didn't start with what are the parameters and the things in my home? How does that look?
How does that, what are the things that are unique to our home?
So for instance, when my husband traveled all of the time, I had to take that into consideration.
(09:00):
And while I sometimes like to put on my superwoman and cape and pretend that I could do it all.
The reality is I had to actually really think about my capacity in this season
and recognize that the balance was gonna look different for whatever reason it was.
So that's that first thing that you have to realize what's realistic for you and your family.
(09:23):
And then you have to determine what's effective for you and your family because
something that could be effective for you guys may not be effective for somebody
else. But if it's effective, that's really all that matters.
So it is important that you actually are paying attention to what's effective
so that you can continue to build on that.
(09:44):
But you have to recognize that your balance, your situation is going to seem
different or will be different than somebody else's.
And then you have to give yourself permission to say it's okay.
Because what you're looking for, as I said before, is, is it effective,
right? We don't need it to be perfect.
(10:05):
We need it to be realistic and we need it to be effective. And that's going
to look different for everybody.
One of the most important things that we have to remember is that homeschooling
is a part of our our life, not the other way around.
If we prioritize homeschooling first and then try to fit our life into homeschooling,
(10:27):
the balance will be off, we'll be stressed out, and we'll be miserable.
So we have to ensure that we understand that we are living life,
we're raising our family, we're nurturing our family, and now we have taken
on the education of our children and we want to then place that within our life.
So as we are adjusting and shifting things, we do have to adjust and shift some
(10:54):
of our life, but we don't want to adjust and shift so much of our life that
homeschooling becomes everything.
Because that is going to stress us out. We're not going to enjoy the journey.
We definitely have to prioritize it. But as we're looking at our life in totality,
our day in totality, we're seeing how do we fit this homeschooling part in.
(11:18):
We want to create some boundaries around fitting homeschooling in so that it
is important. Because that's the thing.
It is an important part of our life.
We have to prioritize it. We have to make room at our life table, if you will.
That was corny, but it's the first thing that came to my mind.
(11:40):
But I'm just thinking of how we make space within our home, within our life, at our table.
I know, but that's what I was thinking. give. But we just make space for it.
And when we do that, then we know, okay, you have a place at this table.
You're not the whole table. You're not everything.
That helps us in terms of how we create our day.
(12:03):
And we don't, because what happens, let's just be real. What really happens
is we decide to homeschool and it's huge.
It is huge to take on the responsibility of the education of your child.
I believe that it's huge.
So we take that on and now we've got all of the things to figure out.
We've got to figure out what to teach, when to teach, how to teach,
(12:24):
where to teach, who are the children that we're teaching because we know them
as our children, but now we have to learn them as students.
We've got to learn who we are as the teaching parent, all of these different
things. And it can be overwhelming because of that.
And so that is, it's actually really normal as you're starting to go into it to feel that.
(12:45):
But it then becomes our everything. So that's all we talk about.
That's all we think about.
And our balance is way off.
And then we do what I'll just say what I do sometimes.
And what I've done in the past is then go all the way on the other side of that
and say, I got to make sure everything is balanced.
(13:05):
And so I become like the balance police. lease.
And it feels like I'm on this tight rope walk of balance.
And it's like if there's one misstep, everything turns back to chaos.
And because of that, I know that perfect balance is just truly an illusion.
(13:27):
Instead of balance, what we really want to find is harmony.
One of my favorite things in songs I used to sing, I know, secrets being told,
but I used to sing in choirs at school, choirs at church, just in all the time.
And even now at home, whenever I sing, my favorite thing is the harmony.
(13:49):
I love to find the harmony, add the harmony, just anything that works with harmony.
And so I like to think of balance as harmony.
And the harmony for us is really being able to manage the ebbs and the flows
between our responsibilities of what we have to do, as well as our passions,
between the ebb and flow of homeschooling, the home part of homeschooling,
(14:13):
the schooling part of homeschooling, the education, all of those different things.
That's what we're really doing.
And so in order for that to happen, here are eight things that we have to do.
Just as a recap, we have to redefine balance. We have to recognize that for
me, when I was on this quest to truly have a balanced life, I was trying to
(14:35):
make sure that I had equal parts of work,
equal parts of homeschooling, equal parts of family time, equal parts of personal
time, like everything had to be equal.
And that just made it really challenging. And so I had to shift that mindset
and recognize that when we're thinking about balance, what we're really looking
at is prioritizing what's most important at the most important times,
(14:58):
recognizing that we have to make a decision about what those most important
things are when they are, when they're, and prioritizing when they need to happen.
And then we have to give ourself grace to focus on our priorities without guilt,
(15:19):
because where the balance becomes kind of warped and where we start to feel stressed.
At least for me, speaking to me for this one, is that I am trying to,
I'm doing a thing, but I'm not present in that thing that I'm doing because
I'm actually thinking about the other thing that I need to be doing.
(15:40):
Or what I should be doing.
So if I'm playing with my kids, then I'm thinking, well, this is going on too
long because I should be doing this thing.
If I'm working, I'm thinking I should be sleeping.
If I'm homeschooling, I'm thinking I should be paying bills.
If I'm paying bills, I'm thinking I should be cooking. Like all of those different
things and not really taking the time to prioritize them, to determine what
(16:02):
is most important within that time, within that day,
within that moment, even moment by moment, and then giving myself grace to focus
on that thing and that priority.
And even further than looking at just within that moment, that when I'm homeschooling, that I feel okay.
(16:24):
With just focusing on the homeschool
side of it. But if something happens that kind of throws that off,
like hubby calls and said he needs something or, you know, something else happens
that I still can transition to that moment and not beat myself up and think
that my balance is completely off.
Another really practical one, once we have redefined the balance,
(16:47):
is to really think about how we can implement some time blocking.
When I work with my clients, one of the things that we do after we go through
our mindset, because I think that
is extremely important to make sure your mindset is in the right place.
What we want to do is start to look at our motivation, why we're doing what
we're doing. And we talk about that and get those priorities out.
(17:09):
But then when we go to building momentum, we start to look at our time blocking time.
And really just a simple spreadsheet cheat
is what we use and we look at that and start to put
in all of those things that happen and usually
what we start with is saying like let's actually focus on what's
actually happening not what we want to happen but what's actually happening
(17:30):
because when we start with reality it's just easier to work from there because
now we can do some reflection and say okay why is this not working let's look
at this and we can plug in our work our self-care our family activities our our homeschooling,
all of those things give us this visual representation of our days and our weeks.
(17:51):
And then we get to see, is it more manageable? What I love about that is a lot
of times when you put it all on the paper, when you have it kind of in your
head and you don't know and you're not sure and you're like, what's happening?
And you're looking for that balance, A, you feel like you're off balance and
B, you feel like you're not getting all the things done.
But when you put it, when you time block it and you put it out there,
you get to see, oh, wait a minute.
(18:13):
Actually, I have more time than I think I have, or I have too many things on
this, this calendar on this time.
So I just can't do it. And now you get to say, okay, let's subtract. And so that's what we do.
I love to work through that time blocking thing, do it for myself.
I like to put colors on it. We do three colors, our green, our red,
(18:34):
and our yellow, and really look through that and be able to kind of shift and
say, okay, yep, this stays, it's working, let's keep going.
No, this doesn't work and let's change it. And it helps us to be able to really
see, be realistic about the time that we have and realistic about our priorities.
And we don't use that necessarily to say, well, your balance is off.
(18:56):
But if a client is feeling that, then we get to say, okay, but let's look at this.
Let's look at what is taking on, taking over the majority of your time.
And how can we prioritize some different things? Because if you're not feeling
good about how you're using your times, that means that we got to look at our
priorities and our goals and switch that up.
And I want you to know that when you're doing this on your own,
(19:20):
sometimes it's just hard to see some of those things.
And so if this is something that you're like, the time blocking sounds a little
bit too much out of my wheelhouse, that is what I love to work with clients
about and just help us to get to put that on the calendar. And that's one piece of it.
So that's just one piece, but it's such an important piece.
(19:40):
The next thing you want to look at is accepting and delegating.
There's something called the AIM approach, the A-I-M,
and that's really about helping us to manage our stress better,
but it really can be used in all different aspects of our life.
(20:01):
So the A is for accepting that stress happens.
That is a really important thing because when I was doing this,
even thinking about this podcast,
I have to tell you that as we were talking about all the different things and
my coach was kind of working through things with me and I was asking people for feedback.
One of the things I wanted to do was really to help people manage stress.
(20:24):
And a lot of times the things that are connected with that is stress-free.
And so we're like, should we do stress-free homeschooling, you know,
get rid of your stress, all of that.
And that just didn't feel, it didn't sit with me really well because I knew
that that was not realistic.
Like I cannot tell you, I want you to manage the stress, but that's because
I know there's going to be stress. So like, let's just be clear about that.
(20:45):
There's going to be some stress when it comes to life, when it comes to homeschooling,
when it comes to raising your children, your job, whatever it is,
there's going to be some stress.
So that first part of AIM is that we accept that stress happens. happens.
But then what we want to do when we think about that managing piece is the I.
We want to interrupt our negative thoughts.
(21:07):
So what we have negative thoughts about this whole aspect of balance.
And so when we're in that place where we're feeling unbalanced and we have those
negative thoughts, a lot of times it's because we have a different definition
of what we think balance should be.
But it's also because we're telling ourselves that not having balance isn't,
a part of our identity. Like we're naming that and saying that we're a failure
(21:29):
or we're not organized or we're just whatever it is.
And so we want to interrupt those negative thoughts and we want to manage our expectations.
So what does that look like? Well, number one, it's important to recognize that
you can't do everything yourself and that's okay.
You can't even probably do all of the things on your list because,
you know, we have those mammoths and those super long to-do lists.
(21:54):
So that's the first thing that we just want to accept that we really can't do
everything on that list and recognize that we're going to have some stress if
we're trying to do all those things, but that we're going to have stress in homeschooling.
So even if we take some of those things off of our list, we're going to have some stress.
And then we want to delegate, we want to interrupt those thoughts, right?
(22:15):
Whatever we've told ourself, but then Then our expectations can be that,
A, I don't have to do this all by myself.
I can ask for some help. I can subtract some things off and simplify.
I love subtract and simplify.
I can adjust some things. I can delegate some things.
I can involve my children in some of my chores. chores I
(22:35):
can ask my husband for support I can ask family
members I can make sure that I'm a part of a supportive community
I can ask them for support and so I
recognize that I actually don't have to balance everything on my own I don't
have to keep all the plates spinning I don't have to hold all the plates I don't
have to do all the things I can actually come in and do some things differently
(22:56):
but in order I believe to get to that part where we're managing we first have
to accept it that that stress happens.
So it's not that I'm trying to alleviate all stress.
I just want to be able to manage it better. And I have to interrupt those negative
thoughts that I have about them in order to get me to that place where I can manage stress.
The next thing we want to do is really important. We have to be able to embrace
(23:19):
imperfection. I did a whole episode on that, that perfection is a myth.
I am a recovering perfectionist and I recognize that it shows up every once
in a while and I still got to work on it.
And so I want to encourage you that perfection is a myth and it's a myth in
homeschooling. It's a myth in parenting.
It's even a myth in balancing and in doing all the things. It's just a myth. It can't happen.
(23:45):
So when we embrace that imperfection and when I say embrace it,
it's not like, oh, I don't have to do this well.
You could do it well, but still recognize that it doesn't have to be perfect.
And so as I'm trying to do, my schedule is not going to be perfect.
My day is not going to be perfect. My week is not going to be perfect.
I can make sure I prioritize what's important.
(24:05):
I can make sure I set my goals. I know what my weekly wins are going to be.
And then when I have those, I celebrate them. And remember that those weekly
wins can be as small as I got everybody out of the house on time,
which for me would be a huge thing.
So whenever I do that and we get in the car, my kids are like,
yes, mommy, you did it. I'm like, yes, look at us.
(24:27):
And then sometimes, depending on the season of your life, if everyone is fed
in that day, you've been able to read some stories and you maybe got through
a math lesson or you got through half of a math lesson, that's a huge win.
And you're able to say that. that the episode that I did before,
I wanna say it was 46, but it probably wasn't, but where we just talked about
when you're going through a truly hard season,
(24:49):
it's important in the midst of that, that you're looking at even those tiny
wins because when you're struggling and then you have those negative thoughts,
if you don't interrupt them and manage your expectations of what it needs to
look like in that season, you now start to feel like I'm not doing anything
right and it just, it sends you spiraling.
So we want to make sure that we are recognizing that
(25:13):
it's never going to be perfect and that it's okay to have
smaller wins that are big for us this next
one number five is really what you hear over and
over again throughout this whole thing when i talk about making sure you're
putting your oxygen mask on first prioritizing your self-care you have to take
care of yourself and it's essential to do that to be able to do anything that
(25:35):
resembles any kind of harmony in your life Because when you do not take care of yourself,
you can't take care of others and.
I've said before, I'll say again, I think self-care has gotten a bad rep because
of what has been shown kind of in social media and just in different ways.
And so we don't really like to think about it or we think I don't have time
(25:57):
for it because who has time to go get their nails done and a pedicure and a
manicure and a massage and the hair done and go out of town,
like all those things that make you think of self-care.
And that's one aspect of it. If that's the thing that feels like self-care to
you, absolutely. But we just mean, I mean, when I'm talking about self-care,
to really make sure that you're taking care of self.
(26:21):
And that means whole self. When I think of self-care, I think of your holistic
self, that you're thinking of those seven, in some cases, even eight areas.
You're thinking about your spirituality, you're thinking about your physical
health, you're thinking about your emotional, you're thinking about your mental
health, just all of those aspects.
And that when you're thinking about that, that you've thought about a self-care action plan.
(26:45):
So it's one of the things I work with my clients is like, let's sit and let's
make sure we have our self-care action plan and let's look at all of these different pieces.
What are the things you can do for each of these? And you think about that before. for.
So after you, and it depends on where you come in the process,
but it may be that you need to do the self-care action plan before you even
look at your mindset, or you need to do your mindset and then think about your
(27:08):
creative plan for how you're going to take care of yourself.
And it doesn't have to be big things. It can be 10 minute meditation.
It can be prayer time, your Bible devotions in the morning. It could be a short walk.
I've even told clients sometimes we can't go walk, just go outside and maybe
even walk around the house or sit on your porch or stretch in the fresh air
(27:29):
if that's your outside person. Go in your closet with a piece of chocolate.
Read a book for pleasure. Any of those things, whatever it is,
because it's different for everybody, but just make sure that you're finding that time.
I like to say that part of my self-care, which I think all of our self-care
is because of overstimulation, stimulation is that we just get some quiet.
(27:52):
So if it's 10 minutes of quiet, which is truly why I go in my closet a lot of
times, because it's just kind of a quiet area where I can just sit and just pause,
which I should get overstimulated with all the clothes that are there,
but it's just something to be able to do that. So find whatever that is.
The sixth thing is to set some realistic goals. And as we're thinking about
(28:13):
those goals that we think about for winning, we also want to make sure we're
setting realistic goals for both your homeschooling and for your personal life.
Because sometimes what is causing us the most stress and makes us feel like
we're not balanced is we have such high expectations,
such high goals about what our day will look like, what our day will look like,
(28:33):
what our children will be able to accomplish, what our house will look like at the end of the day.
All of those things and then it stresses
us out and then we're spending so much time just trying
to achieve this goal that's really
just a little too high for the season or the children or the space that we're
in and so we're not focusing on what's truly achievable and when you can really
(28:58):
look at what's achievable and doesn't mean to lower your expectations in terms
of like you don't want the best for your children.
But just making sure that these are achievable goals that you are setting for yourself, really.
And when I think about this, I'm really thinking about all of homeschooling,
but also all of what you do.
So recognizing that setting the goal for yourself that school,
(29:21):
that homeschool is going to look like school does, might not serve you well
because you might not be able to replicate that for most cases.
Or deciding that you're going to do every single subject and you've got even some extra,
what do you call it, electives and all of that, and that you're going to start
schooling at eight o'clock and you're going to be done at four and you're going to hit this,
(29:44):
that might be unrealistic and be setting you up to feel a lot of pressure and
even disappointment that may come from those unmet expectations.
So if you have achievable ones and that you really thought through,
and I believe that those goals are connected to your motivation,
the thing that's important to your family.
And when you can do that, then they become something that's achievable.
(30:08):
The seventh thing I think is such a key piece that shows up in all areas,
but definitely in trying to make sure that you're not under the illusion of this perfect balance.
And that's connecting with some like-minded of individuals,
some other homeschooling moms, homeschooling communities, that you have a space
(30:33):
that you can share your experience, you can share your challenges,
which is most important, you can share your wins, you can share your solutions,
and then you can find other solutions.
And that gives you a sense of belonging and support, but then it really helps with the balance.
You know, one of the things that I know about myself is when I get really...
(30:54):
I don't even want to say busy, but because I feel like I'm unfortunately right
now in that season where I'm just always busy.
But when I get overwhelmed, I have a lot of things on my plate.
The first thing that I want to do is separate from the social aspect and from
friends, because I just feel like my mind is just kind of clogged.
And I always feel like I need to be the best company.
(31:16):
And so if I'm not in that space, I'm like, I can't be that best company.
And so I pull away from that. And I find that the longer that I pull away,
I'm still stuck in that place of feeling overwhelmed and all of that.
But I don't even remember that I need it.
But then when a friend has either pulled me out or just said like,
(31:39):
you got to do it, or the Holy Spirit says, get out there.
I'm never regretful about that.
There's always something about being around like-minded individuals,
friends, especially homeschooling moms or moms even, or people just understand
what that feels like to have all of the responsibilities of being a mom and
(32:04):
teaching your children at home. home.
I always feel energized. I always feel a sense of belonging.
I always remember I'm not alone. And so that's key.
And then finally, talked about this before, and I just want to say it again.
Focus on what matters most. That's the prioritizing side of it.
(32:24):
That when you're thinking about that balance, if you're really thinking about
everything has to have this certain amount of time, you lose that freedom and that joy.
But if you think about what is the thing that matters most to me?
What are my values? What are my goals, my family's values, my family's goals?
What are the things that I want to be able to accomplish?
And when you can do that, it's going to help you to navigate the complexities
(32:47):
of all these different roles with more peace and more purpose.
If you have been homeschooling for a little while and you've never stopped to
focus on what matters, you've not taken an opportunity to To create your plan.
And when I think about that, think about your homeschool in that you're building this homeschool.
(33:10):
And in order to really build well, you have to become the architect of this homeschool.
And so you got to lay out a blueprint. You've got to be able to look at it and
say, okay, these are the things that I need to do. These are the things that are important.
These are the things that are going to be in place. You got to sketch that out.
You got to put that into place. Does it mean that it's going to be perfect? Absolutely not.
(33:31):
And if you've already been doing it, you got to go in and do some remodeling.
I love looking at home remodeling shows and especially when they're doing the
flipping, the flips, and then they go in and they see the house and they're
like, oh, it looks like it has a whole bunch of stuff, but we're going to be
able to do this. They have this plan.
But as they get in and start doing it, they recognize that, okay,
wait, there was this hiccup. There was this thing that we had to change or we didn't see this coming.
(33:56):
This is going to change, might change our timeline, might change our budget.
But then they create a plan for that and they keep on going until they get to the end part.
That's what I think about when I think about this homeschooling thing is that
if you've already started homeschooling and you never had an opportunity to
map out your blueprint, it's not too late.
(34:16):
And I want to help you with that because I want to show you that if you're spending hours on Google,
if you're spending hours on Facebook, even in groups, talking about the frustrations,
asking people for those things, it's not that those that you can't find help
and support there because there's amazing homeschool moms that are going to
give you all of that support.
(34:36):
But the reality is, A, you have to make sure that you're looking at your unique
situation situation and B, you need somebody who can hear you, who can understand,
who sees you and can sit and say, okay,
let's actually look at this and let's walk through a process step by step by
step that's going to get you from overwhelmed and stressed out to truly embracing
(34:58):
and enjoying this and being in this place where you can say,
I can actually homeschool.
Does it mean that you'll never stress? No. Does it mean that you'll never have
a time when you're like, uh, no, but what it it does mean is when that happens,
you'll have a plan that you will know what to do.
And more importantly, you're going to have a cheerleader.
(35:19):
You're going to have a cheerleader that's bringing all of my expertise as an
educator with over three decades in the fields, working with teachers,
looking at curriculum, looking at instruction.
Looking at all of that part.
A homeschooling mom like you, who's been doing this for the past 12 years and
(35:40):
understands the ebb and the flow, the up and the down, that whole thing.
And then a life coach who has mental health, wellness and instruction and is
able to give that support there.
Like all of those things are going to come together and you're going to have
me one-on-one walking this through.
That's the thing that is going to set this coaching apart. So you're going to
(36:02):
have all all of these pieces, and it's just going to be focused on you.
And I know that a lot of times we think that we can do this on our own,
and you can, you absolutely can do this on your own, but you don't have to.
You don't have to spend all of the time doing the trial and error.
You can have somebody that is walking this journey with you.
And one of the biggest things is I'm going to be your biggest cheerleader because
(36:25):
I know that once you get this, you're going to be on fire and then you're going
to go and encourage other moms.
You're going to be able to be there for them, cheering them on.
And this community continues to grow.
And then because I love children, even your children that I haven't met as yet,
I know know that you're going to be a better teaching parent to your child because of this.
(36:46):
So we want to get rid of this whole illusion of this is what balance has to look like.
And then I want you that if you've been thinking about this,
if you've been kind of on the fence, reach out.
Book a discovery call. Let's just see if I can help you.
Let's see if one of my programs is exactly what you're looking for and you just don't know it.
I hope that this has been helpful for you. I cannot wait to hear all about how
(37:12):
you have redefined balance and how it has changed your homeschooling life.
So make sure that you come to the community, let me know, shoot me an email,
or even just leave a review, share this podcast episode or the whole podcast
with another homeschooling mom so that we can be cheering each other on together.
(37:33):
And before I leave, I want to let you know that if If you are going to be in
the North Carolina area during Memorial Day weekend,
actually it's the weekend right before it, I will be at the North Carolina Home
Education Thrive Conference May 25th, I believe, to the 27th.
(37:54):
I'm not exactly sure. No, I think I have that wrong.
24th to the 26th, I will be at the Thrive Conference. And I would love for you to come and join me.
Let me know that you heard it here because one of my sessions,
we're having a celebration party
and I would love for you to be a part of it. You got to come to that.
(38:15):
So I'll put the link in the show notes or reach out to me and ask about it and
let's get you registered there.
I can't wait to see you right back here next time for some more encouragement. sure.
Thank you for tuning in. I hope that this episode empowered,
equipped, and most of all, encouraged you.
(38:38):
Don't forget to share your thoughts on today's topics because I'd love to hear
how you're implementing these strategies. And you can do that in the.
Music.
Tips for homeschooling and teaching your child, managing your stress,
and prioritizing your self care.
You can also ask questions there. You can participate in the fun challenges
(38:58):
and of course you can celebrate your wins because we like to party over there.
Also if this was helpful and you know that it can be helpful to someone else
leave a review or share this with another homeschooling mom who needs to catch her breath. Mommy!
Well that's my cue but before I go I want to leave you with these words from Philippians 4, 6-7.
(39:20):
I pray that you won't be anxious about anything, but that in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, you would present your request to God, and that you will
experience the kind of peace that surpasses understanding as you navigate the
stresses of life and homeschooling.
Until next time, remember to take a moment to catch your breath.
(39:40):
Music.
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