May 15, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode of the Christian Book Blurb podcast, host Matt McChlery speaks with author Katharine Hill about her book 'A Mind of Their Own,' which focuses on building emotional well-being in children. The conversation touches on the importance of mental health awareness, the pressures children face to be extraordinary, the significance of allowing failure, and the impact of social media on youth. Katharine emphasizes the need for parents to understand and manage their children's emotions, including sadness, and provides practical strategies for fostering resilience and emotional health. The episode also explores Katharine's personal journey and future writing projects.
Links
Help keep this podcast on the web by simply buying me a coffee https://www.buymeacoffee.com/mattmcchlery
Katharine Hill's books from St Andrews Bookshop online
Sponsor an episode of this podcast Click for Advertising info
Visit Matt McChlery's website mattmcchlery.com
Visit Care for the Family's Website
With thanks to this episode's sponsors 'God Whispers are Life Changers' by Michael and Delane Salkheld
Takeaways
- Building emotional well-being is crucial for children.
- It's important to normalize being ordinary in a world that pressures excellence.
- Failure is a necessary part of growth and resilience.
- Social media can have a significant negative impact on mental health.
- Sadness is a natural emotion that should be acknowledged.
- Parents should help children manage their emotional responses.
- Practical strategies can make a difference in family life.
- Understanding children's emotional needs is key to effective parenting.
- Encouraging children to express their feelings fosters resilience.
- The role of faith in understanding emotional well-being.
Sound Bites
"It's okay to be ordinary." "We want our children to do well." "Failure is actually quite important." "We are bringing up adults, not just children." "Social media is affecting their health." "It's okay to feel sad." "We can make a difference to families."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Mental Health Awareness and the Book 02:00 Building Emotional Well-Being in Children 07:09 The Pressure to Be Extraordinary 10:47 The Importance of Allowing Failure 15:53 Navigating Social Media's Impact on Mental Health 20:05 Understanding Sadness as a Normal Emotion 24:02 Practical Strategies for Parents 27:58 Getting to Know Katharine Hill 34:54 Future Projects and Closing Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is Christian Book Blurb brought to you by author and songwriter Matt McChlery Get abehind the scenes glimpse into the lives of some of your favourite Christian authors, hear
about their books and faith.
Also, why not check out my website, mattmcleary.com.
This episode of Christian Book Blurb is sponsored by the book God Whispers Our LifeChanges by Michael and Delane Sulkeld.
(00:26):
Available now from godwhispersforlife.com.
Hello and welcome to another edition of the Christian Book Blur podcast, where we like toencourage you in your discipleship, one book at a time, as we meet some amazing Christian
authors and learn about their books, their lives and their faith.
I'm your host, Matt McChlery, and thank you for joining me once again.
(00:49):
Now on today's show, I'm going to be speaking with Katharine Hill, all about her book, AMind of Their Own.
And I'm really excited.
to be speaking about this today because if you're in the UK, you might know that we areright in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Week.
(01:10):
And this podcast is coming out on the 15th, which is right in the middle of that week.
And this book touches on a lot of mental health topics that are really relevant forparents and children.
But even if you're not a parent,
you can still gain some really valuable insight into mental health and what having goodmental health and how to promote that looks like.
(01:33):
So let's welcome Katharine to the podcast.
Hi Katharine.
Hi Matt, thank you so much for having me, this is great.
It's so good to have you with us today.
Now you've just published a second edition of your book called A Mind of Their Own,Building Your Children's Emotional Well-Being in a Fast Changing World.
(01:55):
So could you just tell us what it's about in a nutshell, if that's possible?
Yes, so it's all about how we can build our child's emotional wellbeing in the ups anddowns of family life or in the interaction that we have with children in the community uh
through just the small everyday things.
And it's very much upstream.
(02:16):
So it's about prevention as much as the crisis.
We will all know that we have been seeing in the media so many reports of rising levels ofanxiety and depression amongst young people.
So this is trying to go a little bit upstream and realize that they're just in the sameway that we know how to keep our children physically healthy and well.
(02:39):
We get them to eat their broccoli and exercise and we limit sugar and screen time.
So exactly the same way we can do things that will build emotional wellbeing, which is soimportant and so key to our overall
That's really great.
Thank you.
Now this book is aimed at a general audience, which I really appreciate.
(03:00):
But why should Christian parents take note of it?
Yes, so I've tried hard to write the book so it has Kingdom principles.
You know, as a follower of Jesus myself, I want to come from that perspective 100%.
So it is from Kingdom principles, but I wanted it and at Care for the Family, we wanted itto be used in schools, in community settings.
(03:26):
And so that's why it's written that way.
But for Christian parents, emotional well-being is so key to our overall health.
and it's something that is on the heart of God.
He wants us to be healthy and well.
Also, I think in terms of when I was researching it, I was so excited by how many themesthat are scientific.
(03:51):
So it's well-researched scientifically.
It's very well-researched.
they're mirrored in the Bible.
So I write about the plasticity of the brain and I realized, gosh, Paul talks about therenewal of our minds.
There's something called the hope circuit and in Romans it talks about uh sufferingproducing character, character producing perseverance, other way around, perseverance
(04:14):
producing character, character producing hope.
And I thought this is exactly the same thing.
So I have absolutely loved it that there's such a strong kind of thread throughout of howGod has made us and his best for us.
I must say as I was reading the book, my heart went out to the editor, whoever did it,because it is so well researched.
(04:39):
I almost, well, it's not quite every sentence, but there is a lot of it where you haveloads of footnotes and cross references and look at the scientific study and look at this
is what's happened here and what's happened there.
so, yeah, you could, I feel that you can really trust the advice.
that that's being given there.
(05:00):
And also just there you mentioned care for the family.
Now some of our listeners may not be aware of care for the family and what they do.
So could you just tell us a little bit about that?
I'd love to.
So I've been working for Care for the Family now for over 20 years, and we are a nationalcharity.
I'm UK's director on the leadership team, and my role is writing and speaking.
(05:23):
And we have been, since 1988, seeking to strengthen family life in the UK.
We work in the areas of uh marriage and couple relationships, parenting and bereavement.
Seeking to help families.
I mean, all kinds of different ways, but we talk about being the fence around the top ofthe cliff as much as the ambulance at the bottom, wanting to help families put good, uh
(05:48):
give them good tools to build strong family life for when the difficult times come,because I think our experiences difficult times come to every single family in one way or
the other.
And we do that through books, through courses, through, we've got lots now on social mediaand.
very significantly, we go around the country.
People may have come across us going around the country, doing our tours.
(06:12):
And there's one going on at the moment on this very subject, a mind of their own in June.
We're going to be down south and up north and doing an event that unpacked some of theseareas.
So people may have heard of us or there are specialist support for children of additionalneeds, for bereaved parents, those widowed young.
So yeah.
(06:33):
And we seek, we've got some specific resources for the church as well, but the most partof our stuff is wanting to put resources in the hands of the church to use in the
community.
That's wonderful.
Thank you for explaining that and I must say as I was reading this book as a parent ofthree young children myself I was sitting there nodding my head wildly going.
(06:54):
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
This is this is it.
This is great One of the one of the chapters you've got in your book a mind of their ownis called it's okay to be ordinary and this is something that
I've come across as well, there's this relentless pressure for everyone to be the best,for everyone to be number one, for everyone to be perfect.
(07:19):
And it's just not realistic.
So it's great that you're talking about this and kind of normalizing this whole idea thatit's okay to be ordinary.
Why do you think we need to be reminded of this?
And what damage can be caused if being ordinary?
is not enough.
(07:40):
Such a good question, Matt.
Interestingly, this is the chapter in the book that's caused the most discussion.
A little bit of pushback occasionally.
Of course we want our children to be the best.
They could all be prime minister.
Why wouldn't we want to do that?
And of course that's true.
And it's hard because as parents we want our children to do well.
But I start the chapter telling a story about school sports day.
(08:05):
So we have four children that are grown, they're grown up now, they're parents of theirown.
seven little grandchildren.
And on these school sports days, we'd all cheer as they put bean bags into buckets and didthe hoop around the waist and then sprinted for the tape in the running race.
And then we'd be taken over to another area of the playground and we'd all clap and cheersome more as every single child was given a star certificate for taking part.
(08:33):
And the mantra was, everyone's a winner.
Everyone's a winner.
And
I know that's crept into my life.
I also say the story of the game of pass the parcel at children's parties when I wouldmake sure it's exactly the number of layers of paper as they children in the room and uh
the prize at the end enough to share.
(08:54):
Because again, everyone's a winner.
And, you know, I defy any parent to do otherwise when faced with a room full ofsugar-fueled six-year-olds.
But this has crept into our culture, as you say, and particularly through social media.
The pressure on our children to sparkle, to present the shiny side of life, to succeed ateverything is putting a huge pressure on them because we can't all succeed.
(09:18):
We can't all be future child authors, premier league football players, inventors orwhatever.
We all need to know that things that we're good at, that God has gifted us for, but alsoto know our limitations.
And I think
there is a whole thing about the gift of knowing our limits.
(09:39):
And emotional wellbeing at the heart of it is knowing the things that we can celebrate andbe good at and be gifted at, but also knowing some of the things that we might struggle
at.
And that's not to say we don't try hard at those things.
There's a whole chapter on that about something called growth mindset, which is also veryimportant.
(09:59):
But...
If we are telling our child that they always need to be first at everything, they'vealways got to get all the A stars, they've got to score the winning goal every time, we're
putting such pressure on them.
And so the heart of that chapter is really about encouraging our children to be the bestthat they can be, the best them that God has uniquely made them in the different strengths
(10:23):
that they have and cheering them on in that, but taking that pressure on them, off them.
sort of redefining ordinary.
So by ordinary, I don't mean a boring second best, but actually it's discovering, youknow, the joy in discovering who they are and their God given identity.
So yeah, that's at the heart of it.
And as I say, it's not gone without a little bit of pushback, but that's quite fun havingthat debate.
(10:47):
Yeah, no, I think that that perspective is a really important one to have.
Another chapter that also might run against prevailing culture is this idea that it's okayto fail.
Ah, people might think it's okay to do what?
To fail?
Is it okay?
(11:08):
Why should we allow our kids to fail?
again, is something I got so wrong, I think, in uh when our children were growing up.
I think I was so keen and as parents were often so keen to make life easy for them.
We want the road to be smooth.
We don't want to see them go through the challenges of life.
(11:29):
And we can become what's known as a helicopter parent.
So helicopter parents swoop in at a moment's notice with rotor blades uh flying around toavert uh any disaster.
anything that could possibly go wrong.
I can't tell you, the number of times I was driving across town to deliver forgottenfootball boots or ingredients for a cookery lesson or things that they'd forgotten because
(11:54):
I didn't want them to fail.
I didn't want them to get into trouble.
But you know, I robbed them of something by doing that because failure is actually quitean important, dealing with failure well is very important in terms of wellbeing because we
can't.
always succeed in everything.
It is part of life.
And so when we fail, often there's two different reactions that we have.
(12:19):
So we either blame ourselves, I'm so rubbish, I failed my maths test, I can't ever domaths, or we blame somebody else.
So the teacher didn't teach us the right syllabus, my pen didn't work, my laptop crashed,whatever it is.
And neither of those are good.
And what we need to try, and this is so hard, and I find this incredibly hard, but in asituation where our children have failed, rather than what I would do, which was either
(12:45):
try and sort it out or then tell them it didn't matter, allow them to be sad, allow themto be upset, because that's part of the emotion of life, and then seek ways to try and
make the situation better.
So a little bit here, a little bit there, how could they improve?
And that is how they build.
(13:06):
build well-being and resilience.
to say that word, I was going to say this all helps build resilience and sort of theability to sort of come back from a failure or a setback.
I guess with parenting my children, when they make mistakes, yes, okay, mistakes, mistakesare made, failure happens, but it's often on a smaller scale than, for example, if I mess
(13:38):
up.
as an adult.
It's often on a lot bigger scale than what my children do.
So in a way, it's kind of that training ground, isn't it?
You're allowing them to experience some of what it means to not get things right, to failin a sense.
(14:04):
But because it then
gives them it building up doesn't it builds up that the coping strategies and themechanisms of you know how do i cope with this on a smaller scale so that later in life
once we've let them go um when failure inevitably comes they know how to cope with itbetter sorry i cut you off
(14:26):
No, no, no, it was it was really good what you're saying.
And I think that I was really agreeing with you in saying the consequences are so muchbigger as adults.
So I think I say in the book, you know, if they oversleep and they and we do that paperround for them, don't know if people still do paper rounds these days, but our children
used to do paper rounds.
If they lose their pocket money and we just replace it one day, it won't be a paper round.
(14:51):
It will be an interview.
It won't be.
their pocket money, will be their mortgage.
It won't be, you we do their school homework for them or help them with it late at nightbecause they've forgotten to do it and it won't be their homework, it'll be a report for
their boss.
so just to try and help them get these good, good qualities in their lives and good habitsand good ways of thinking and managing their feelings and their emotions when they're
(15:16):
little is so much better because it's harder.
It's harder to manage all that when we're adults.
And we often say, you know, as parents, we're not bringing up children and we're not evenbringing up teenagers.
We're bringing up adults.
That's our goal to bring up adults who can manage well, make good choices, make good, wisechoices when we're not there at their shoulder.
(15:41):
And so you're so right in the little decisions and helping build that resilience.
When we're there to pick up the pieces also, when things don't go according to plan, asthey won't.
That's a good that's.
good strategy.
On the cover of your book, A Mind of Their Own, this is the second edition and itspecifically mentions that in this new edition you have some content all around social
(16:09):
media.
So how does social media negatively impact our children and what can we do about it?
Oh, it's such a big topic.
I've written a book called Left to Their Own Devices, Confident Parenting in an Age ofScreens, and that deals with that in much more detail.
(16:29):
But I realized that we needed to put some of that content really into this book as well.
So social media and just having a smartphone, little computer in their pocket is amassive, massive impact on wellbeing.
It's affecting their health.
It's affecting their sleep, their emotional wellbeing, their attention span, all thosekind of things.
(16:55):
We can't put everything at the feet of social media and blame them, but the spike in uhrates of rising anxiety and depression coincide with the advent of the smartphone, the uh
advent of the front-facing camera and of Instagram.
And I think that there definitely has to be some kind of connection.
(17:16):
And most parents are, well, we're getting so many people asking us for help in this area.
And they say, why is it so difficult?
And it's because we're not on a level playing field.
So there's something called the attention economy, which is that the big tech companiesare paying billions of pounds.
The biggest commodity is no longer oil or gold or precious metal, but it's attention, ourattention, our children's attention.
(17:43):
And then within that,
There's something called the slot machine effect, which means that the slot machine is themost money making part of any casino.
And when someone pulls the lever on a slot machine, the same thing happens in their brainas happens when you look at a smartphone and you see a like or a uh follower.
(18:06):
It's a thing called a variable reward.
A variable reward.
So they're
looking, you know, are we going to anticipation and reward?
Are they going to get that like?
Are they going to get that follower?
And it makes us keep coming back again and again.
There's a bit of a sort of dopamine spike in the brain that makes us keep coming back tothe phone.
(18:28):
And many teenagers are setting alarms during the night just to check their social mediafeeds, see how many likes and followers they have.
And if you think about it, the way our phones are designed,
and those little dots, you know, says, Dan is typing.
think, oh, what is Dan saying?
And if we get pulled into this as adults, then so much more our children.
(18:50):
And then we add to that algorithms.
So algorithms are inbuilt commands that mean that the phone is going to be showing us orthe apps are going to be showing us more and more extreme content of the thing that we're
looking at.
So a young person might look at
fitness and exercise and very soon they'll be shown uh content on dieting and then thatwill lead probably to uh eating disorders, self-harm.
(19:19):
And so we absolutely need to be helping our children put some good boundaries in place inthis area but not feel that we can't do anything.
We're not on the back foot.
There is so much that we can do.
So I've put lots of tips in the book including something called a family media agreement.
which is basically just getting together with your family and talking about yourboundaries for tech use in the home.
(19:43):
Really practical things like don't have phones in the bedroom, eh decide what your rulesare for phones at the meal table.
And the deal is that everybody signs up to this agreement, even the parents.
What do they do if they come across something that's scary or upsets them?
(20:04):
Who pays?
When do they get their first smartphone?
All those kind of really big issues that we can look at together and be confident that wecan put those good boundaries in place to keep, not just to keep them safe, but to enable
them to make the most of all technology has to offer.
That's really good.
(20:24):
Now, as I mentioned at the start of this episode, we are in the middle of Mental HealthAwareness Week.
And I guess when people hear sort of mental health and having poor mental health, all of asudden people think, that means I'm not allowed to be sad.
I have to be happy.
(20:46):
And if I'm sad, something must be wrong with me.
I must have poor mental health.
Now sometimes,
very extreme versions of sadness, could be signs of depression, etc.
But you've got a chapter in your book that says it's okay to feel sad, and that's actuallypart of being mentally well.
(21:10):
So can you just explain that for us?
Yes, so you're so right.
If sadness has become concerning, then definitely we should seek some help.
I think as parents, certainly I anyway, bringing up our four, I hated it when our childrenwere sad.
And I thought it reflected somehow on how well our family were doing um and how well I wasdoing as a parent.
(21:35):
You know, our success as a parent does not depend on how happy our children are because...
it is okay to be sad.
It is an important emotion.
There are sometimes things that actually we need to be sad about.
And so this is not about, the book is not about being positively happy the whole time, butrecognizing the different emotions that we have and managing them well.
(21:58):
And when we're sad, it allows us to uh exercise some emotional muscles, allowing ourchildren to feel sad, express their emotion.
Maybe put a name to it even if they're younger.
And then that helps them.
Again, we keep coming back to resilience, but it helps them build resilience.
(22:20):
And it also offers us as parents an opportunity to connect with them over the issue.
Whether it is that a favorite pet has died, that there's been something difficult that'shappened at school, they've been on the end of an unkind message on WhatsApp, whatever it
is.
allowing them to express their sadness rather than burying it and then working from thatthrough it.
(22:45):
I love this, there's a little quote in The Lord of the Rings from Gandalf and it goessomething like this, do not say, do not weep because not all tears are evil.
And I really like that because our tears are God given and they can be a good thing in theright context and managed well.
That's really great.
Now, your book speaks of so many other things.
(23:09):
We've just sort of scratched the surface with some of the chapters we've looked at.
So do go and get yourself a copy of the second edition of A Mind of Their Own.
Now, one of the things I really appreciate about it is it's not just uh theory.
It's not just, well, this is, know, what the ideal situation should be like.
(23:31):
based and grounded in a lot of research, but also at the end of each chapter, you've gotaction points, you've got suggested activities, and you even, excuse me, you even say
there's sometimes you get a thing called zip it, which means parents don't say this bit toyour children.
Don't say you're looking a bit tubby or whatever it is because it won't help them.
(23:54):
So why did you include these practical elements?
What, how do they work together as
are.
Well, I am passionate that we make a difference to families.
We can make a difference to families.
And so often it's the simple things and in the everyday things of family life that we cando these things.
So rather than just doing the theory, I wanted to make it really practical.
(24:19):
And so, yeah, there are the zippit bits of the yeah, you're looking a bit tubby, I thinkis in the chapter on body confidence, how we help our children manage, manage that.
But then there are
action points at the end of every chapter and also a family, some family activity ideas.
So a couple of examples maybe on the chapter on failure, you could have something calledfailure Friday and you find fun things that have been discovered through failure.
(24:48):
So they just Google, think there's popcorn and Play-Doh and a whole load of things,electricity, know, post-it notes.
There you go.
And but then sharing our own failures as well, children and adults alike.
So that's fun.
Or one of the action points is on the chapter where we were talking about managing ourthinking.
(25:11):
And it talks about, I talk about catching, challenging and changing negative thoughtpatterns.
And it's called blue to true thinking.
And it's so simple, but we just, when our children are stuck in a downward spiral ofnegative thinking, we get them to capture that thought.
either pop it on the phone or write it in a piece of paper.
(25:32):
And then we challenge it with the truth, the opposite, and get them to write that down,put that on the phone.
And then when those blue thoughts return, they can remember it, they've got it to comeback to, and they can begin to change that thought pattern.
So, I mean, that's so simple, but many people have found that a really helpful littledevice almost to begin to help our children manage their thinking.
(25:57):
So it's
packed full of lots of fun ideas, color coding the diary so that they haven't got lots ofstressful things going on, particularly in exam time, whole lot in there about, because
exam time at the moment, think, isn't it?
So how we can help them manage that well and lots of creative ideas.
That's wonderful.
Thank you, Katharine.
(26:18):
Now we'll be back chatting with Katharine Hill more about her life and her faith justafter these.
So do join us soon.
God Whispers Our Life Changes, a book by Michael and Delaine Sulkeld, is an incredibletrue-life story of Michael and Delaine, an ordinary couple who listened as God led them
(26:41):
from joblessness to starting and growing a business, then into ministries that have takenthem from underprivileged neighbourhoods in the United States to rural villages and orphan
care in sub-Saharan Africa.
It is a story of life lessons by example.
of the elation and frustration in starting and growing a business interwoven withheartwarming and heartbreaking stories of serving in their community and abroad and how
(27:11):
God led the way in it all.
God Whispers are Life Changes by Michael and Delaine Sulkeld is described as a must-readfor anyone looking for God's direction in serving others.
It is available now
from their website, GodWhispersForLife.com, as well as on other online retailers.
(27:35):
Do grab yourself a copy today.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you can help keep it on the web.
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Head over to BuyMeACoffee.com slash Matt McChlery to make a donation.
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(27:58):
to keep supporting Christian books and authors.
Hello, welcome back to this episode of the Christian Book Blur podcast, where I've beenchatting with author Katharine Hill about her book, A Mind of Their Own, as part of this
Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK.
(28:19):
So Katharine, welcome back.
Now in this part of the show, we like to find out a little bit more about the authorthemselves.
So what do you do for fun?
Oh, lots of things.
I have got four adult children and seven grandchildren, about to be eight.
(28:40):
And I think a lot of what I do for fun is actually at the moment with my grandchildren.
So out on scooters, in the park, cooking, whatever.
But if it was just me, I do love time on my own as well.
I love just spending time with friends, but just me going out to somewhere, somewherebeautiful.
(29:02):
the beach, mountains, or probably that my best is finding a really good coffee shop andhaving a very good cup of coffee.
I was gonna ask you, do you prefer coffee or tea?
I love coffee myself.
I'm a coffee, yes, coffee, coffee, well not coffee every time, I think tea in theafternoon, but coffee would be my default, my go-to.
(29:25):
And as a coffee shop, what sort of coffee would you order?
I would, well do you know, I've suddenly started ordering cortados.
I quite like a cortado.
But if not a flat white, that would be my order of choice.
And is it just a coffee or do you get something on the side as well like a piece of cakeor something?
Normally just the coffee, normally just the coffee.
(29:47):
Not a big cake fan.
Okay, oh there you go.
Good, wonderful.
And of all the places that you've traveled, whether it's in the UK or maybe abroad, whichone do you think would be one of your favorite places that you've visited?
(30:08):
Well, in the UK, Pembrokeshire and a particular beach in Pembrokeshire with long, longsand in the sunshine.
Doesn't always happen in Wales, but when it does, beautiful sparkling sea, nobody there,some few birds, some lovely flowers on the coastal path.
(30:30):
So that's probably my go-to, but I've been privileged to travel with Care for the Familyto South Africa.
a number of times to give some seminars on parenting at the invitation of another charityin South Africa.
And I have loved South Africa, the big skies, the beautiful scenery, the welcoming people.
(30:51):
So yeah, if it was abroad, I love that.
My son was away, he was working in New Zealand for a year and that was a similarexperience of just that big landscape and beautiful skies.
Yeah, I love South Africa as well.
I'm from Zimbabwe myself.
It's just a bit further north of South Africa, but had grandparents who live in Cape Town.
(31:13):
used to.
And so I've spent many a holiday there.
So yes, it is wonderful.
Because, yeah, go on.
Why not?
Let's ask it.
If you were a cartoon character, what would you be and why?
That's a great question.
It's an old cartoon, but the Incredibles, and I would be Elastigirl, who was the mom, Ithink, who had these long bendy arms and she could just grab things and go around corners
(31:48):
and do all that sort of stuff.
So I think that would have to be me.
Elastigirl, very good.
We think our son is very much like Jack Jack, sort of changes temperament with a drop of ahat and is a real handful.
But there you go.
I love you dearly, by the way, my son.
If he listens to this in a few years time.
(32:08):
So you've already mentioned you've got some family.
Yeah, and lots of grandchildren, I must say.
You're doing very well.
You're doing very well to still have a bit of time to yourself.
Do you find parents?
Well,
your role as grandparent, is it drastically different to your role as parent?
(32:29):
Because I found with my parents, there's some things that they let my grandchildren dothat they never would have let me do.
And that sort of thing.
And I'm thinking, I was the child, wouldn't have flown.
But now that you're the grandparent, what's going on?
Do you sometimes find
(32:49):
Absolutely, all the time.
It is the best thing.
We absolutely love being grandparents.
I agree with the person that said if they'd known grandchildren were that much fun, they'dhave had them first.
uh I absolutely love it.
And yes, we probably do do things that we wouldn't have let our children do.
So we have them to stay quite often overnight.
(33:11):
And three of them came to stay last week and managed to leave their toothpaste behind.
And my daughter, who is their mum,
They live on, they manage an organic farm and they're quite a long way away from shops.
So she was just like, this is really irritating.
And someone was actually coming past our house and going down to the farm.
So he called by to pick up this toothpaste and I put it in a bag with three chocolatecoins.
(33:33):
And my daughter was like, what?
But apparently the grandchildren loved it.
But it is such a privilege, it really is, because you get a lot of the joy and not much ofthe hassle really.
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
What is the Holy Spirit doing in your life at the moment, or what does he put on yourheart, person?
(33:58):
that's a lovely question.
So uh Richard and I recently have become more involved with the 24-7 prayer uh and alsowere part of a monastic, uh lay monastic order called the Order of the Mustard Seeds.
So I think uh there would be two things, but number one would be just I've written a bookcalled Born Free, a call to be still, know God and flourish in a hectic world.
(34:25):
just the call of God, think, call of the Holy Spirit, to find moments of stillness withhim in the everyday busyness of life.
Of course it's good to be able to go away sometimes and spend time in solitude, but numberone, that's not my character, I don't find that easy.
And number two, life is busy.
(34:48):
And so I think just for me discovering God in the everyday moments,
and making margin for that, trying to make choices that make margin for that.
I have to say, it's an ongoing thing and I have a long, long, long way to go.
em But that, and then the second one was we're in a bit of a time of transition.
(35:09):
So em my husband's about to step down from some part of his work.
And so that will look very different.
And so I think we're praying about what is this new season?
going to look like with different responsibilities.
And as I carry on doing what I'm doing at Care for the Family and carrying on writing andthings and working that out together in our context.
(35:34):
So that would be a couple of things.
That's great, thank you.
And speaking of new seasons and carrying on with writing, have you got anything thatyou're currently working on at the moment that's gonna come out soonish, maybe in the next
year or so?
What's going on behind the scenes with you?
(35:54):
I am.
So I'm writing a book, actually, Parenting Teenagers, titled to be decided.
We need it to be, well, at Kev Family, we want it as part of our offering to parents.
And it's going to be a, I've got little way into it, but it's going to be well researched,like the other books with kingdom principles.
(36:21):
easy and accessible, but not shying away from some of the tough topics.
So I'm hoping that will come out next year.
But one of the one of the areas that's really captured my heart is identity amongst ouryoung people, the debate around gender, sexuality, it's a tough place for our young people
(36:43):
and for parents to navigate.
So want to look at that in that book.
And I just wonder if there might be something.
different on that after that, I don't know.
We'll wait and see.
But yeah, parenting teenagers.
So that would be the one.
interesting.
Watch this space.
Yes, very good.
Now where can people find you on social media or where can people buy your books?
(37:07):
Thank you.
Well, wherever you get your book shops, you get your books from all good book shops.
Muddy Pearl are the publishers.
The imprint is Kilfinnen Press.
And then Care for the Family, we also have a shop.
then local shops, and of course, Amazon.
But em I'd love to promote Muddy Pearl and Care for the Family, really, for the books.
(37:32):
You can get them there.
I have a website as well, Katherine.Hill.
So if you want to find out about what we're up to, as well as careforthefamily.org.uk,then have a look there.
And on Instagram.
Okay, wonderful.
I'll put a link to the Care for the Family page on this episode's show notes so thatpeople can find out about you and about your books as well as sort of the wider work that
(38:01):
Care for the Family also does.
So that's fantastic.
Thank you so much, Katharine.
I really appreciate reading the book myself as a parent, a mind of their own.
And if our discussion has sparked your interest today, do go and grab it.
copy for yourselves.
Well thank you Katharine for joining me today on the podcast.
(38:22):
It's been really great.
Thank you.
Thanks, Matt.
I just want to give a really big thank you to the sponsors of today's episode.
This is the book, God Whispers Our Life Changes by Michael and Delaine Selkeld.
That book is available now from their website, GodWhispersForLife.com.
Do go and check it out.
Thank you as well for listening to this episode.
(38:44):
Don't forget a new episode comes out on the first and the 15th of every month.
So I look forward to meeting with you again really soon as...
I encourage you and your discipleship, one book at a time, as I meet another fantasticChristian author and learn about their books, their life and their faith.
Thanks for joining me.
See you soon.
(39:05):
Thanks for listening to Christian Book Blurb with your host, Matt McChlery.
Do give it a like, give it a share and let your friends know all about it.
We do hope to see you again soon on another Christian Book Blurb.
This is Christian Book Blurb brought to you by author and songwriter Matt McChlery Get abehind the scenes glimpse into the lives of some of your favourite Christian authors, hear
about their books and faith.
Also, why not check out my website, mattmcleary.com.
This episode of Christian Book Blurb is sponsored by the book God Whispers Our LifeChanges by Michael and Delane Sulkeld.
(00:26):
Available now from godwhispersforlife.com.
Hello and welcome to another edition of the Christian Book Blur podcast, where we like toencourage you in your discipleship, one book at a time, as we meet some amazing Christian
authors and learn about their books, their lives and their faith.
I'm your host, Matt McChlery, and thank you for joining me once again.
(00:49):
Now on today's show, I'm going to be speaking with Katharine Hill, all about her book, AMind of Their Own.
And I'm really excited.
to be speaking about this today because if you're in the UK, you might know that we areright in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Week.
(01:10):
And this podcast is coming out on the 15th, which is right in the middle of that week.
And this book touches on a lot of mental health topics that are really relevant forparents and children.
But even if you're not a parent,
you can still gain some really valuable insight into mental health and what having goodmental health and how to promote that looks like.
(01:33):
So let's welcome Katharine to the podcast.
Hi Katharine.
Hi Matt, thank you so much for having me, this is great.
It's so good to have you with us today.
Now you've just published a second edition of your book called A Mind of Their Own,Building Your Children's Emotional Well-Being in a Fast Changing World.
(01:55):
So could you just tell us what it's about in a nutshell, if that's possible?
Yes, so it's all about how we can build our child's emotional wellbeing in the ups anddowns of family life or in the interaction that we have with children in the community uh
through just the small everyday things.
And it's very much upstream.
(02:16):
So it's about prevention as much as the crisis.
We will all know that we have been seeing in the media so many reports of rising levels ofanxiety and depression amongst young people.
So this is trying to go a little bit upstream and realize that they're just in the sameway that we know how to keep our children physically healthy and well.
(02:39):
We get them to eat their broccoli and exercise and we limit sugar and screen time.
So exactly the same way we can do things that will build emotional wellbeing, which is soimportant and so key to our overall
That's really great.
Thank you.
Now this book is aimed at a general audience, which I really appreciate.
(03:00):
But why should Christian parents take note of it?
Yes, so I've tried hard to write the book so it has Kingdom principles.
You know, as a follower of Jesus myself, I want to come from that perspective 100%.
So it is from Kingdom principles, but I wanted it and at Care for the Family, we wanted itto be used in schools, in community settings.
(03:26):
And so that's why it's written that way.
But for Christian parents, emotional well-being is so key to our overall health.
and it's something that is on the heart of God.
He wants us to be healthy and well.
Also, I think in terms of when I was researching it, I was so excited by how many themesthat are scientific.
(03:51):
So it's well-researched scientifically.
It's very well-researched.
they're mirrored in the Bible.
So I write about the plasticity of the brain and I realized, gosh, Paul talks about therenewal of our minds.
There's something called the hope circuit and in Romans it talks about uh sufferingproducing character, character producing perseverance, other way around, perseverance
(04:14):
producing character, character producing hope.
And I thought this is exactly the same thing.
So I have absolutely loved it that there's such a strong kind of thread throughout of howGod has made us and his best for us.
I must say as I was reading the book, my heart went out to the editor, whoever did it,because it is so well researched.
(04:39):
I almost, well, it's not quite every sentence, but there is a lot of it where you haveloads of footnotes and cross references and look at the scientific study and look at this
is what's happened here and what's happened there.
so, yeah, you could, I feel that you can really trust the advice.
that that's being given there.
(05:00):
And also just there you mentioned care for the family.
Now some of our listeners may not be aware of care for the family and what they do.
So could you just tell us a little bit about that?
I'd love to.
So I've been working for Care for the Family now for over 20 years, and we are a nationalcharity.
I'm UK's director on the leadership team, and my role is writing and speaking.
(05:23):
And we have been, since 1988, seeking to strengthen family life in the UK.
We work in the areas of uh marriage and couple relationships, parenting and bereavement.
Seeking to help families.
I mean, all kinds of different ways, but we talk about being the fence around the top ofthe cliff as much as the ambulance at the bottom, wanting to help families put good, uh
(05:48):
give them good tools to build strong family life for when the difficult times come,because I think our experiences difficult times come to every single family in one way or
the other.
And we do that through books, through courses, through, we've got lots now on social mediaand.
very significantly, we go around the country.
People may have come across us going around the country, doing our tours.
(06:12):
And there's one going on at the moment on this very subject, a mind of their own in June.
We're going to be down south and up north and doing an event that unpacked some of theseareas.
So people may have heard of us or there are specialist support for children of additionalneeds, for bereaved parents, those widowed young.
So yeah.
(06:33):
And we seek, we've got some specific resources for the church as well, but the most partof our stuff is wanting to put resources in the hands of the church to use in the
community.
That's wonderful.
Thank you for explaining that and I must say as I was reading this book as a parent ofthree young children myself I was sitting there nodding my head wildly going.
(06:54):
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
This is this is it.
This is great One of the one of the chapters you've got in your book a mind of their ownis called it's okay to be ordinary and this is something that
I've come across as well, there's this relentless pressure for everyone to be the best,for everyone to be number one, for everyone to be perfect.
(07:19):
And it's just not realistic.
So it's great that you're talking about this and kind of normalizing this whole idea thatit's okay to be ordinary.
Why do you think we need to be reminded of this?
And what damage can be caused if being ordinary?
is not enough.
(07:40):
Such a good question, Matt.
Interestingly, this is the chapter in the book that's caused the most discussion.
A little bit of pushback occasionally.
Of course we want our children to be the best.
They could all be prime minister.
Why wouldn't we want to do that?
And of course that's true.
And it's hard because as parents we want our children to do well.
But I start the chapter telling a story about school sports day.
(08:05):
So we have four children that are grown, they're grown up now, they're parents of theirown.
seven little grandchildren.
And on these school sports days, we'd all cheer as they put bean bags into buckets and didthe hoop around the waist and then sprinted for the tape in the running race.
And then we'd be taken over to another area of the playground and we'd all clap and cheersome more as every single child was given a star certificate for taking part.
(08:33):
And the mantra was, everyone's a winner.
Everyone's a winner.
And
I know that's crept into my life.
I also say the story of the game of pass the parcel at children's parties when I wouldmake sure it's exactly the number of layers of paper as they children in the room and uh
the prize at the end enough to share.
(08:54):
Because again, everyone's a winner.
And, you know, I defy any parent to do otherwise when faced with a room full ofsugar-fueled six-year-olds.
But this has crept into our culture, as you say, and particularly through social media.
The pressure on our children to sparkle, to present the shiny side of life, to succeed ateverything is putting a huge pressure on them because we can't all succeed.
(09:18):
We can't all be future child authors, premier league football players, inventors orwhatever.
We all need to know that things that we're good at, that God has gifted us for, but alsoto know our limitations.
And I think
there is a whole thing about the gift of knowing our limits.
(09:39):
And emotional wellbeing at the heart of it is knowing the things that we can celebrate andbe good at and be gifted at, but also knowing some of the things that we might struggle
at.
And that's not to say we don't try hard at those things.
There's a whole chapter on that about something called growth mindset, which is also veryimportant.
(09:59):
But...
If we are telling our child that they always need to be first at everything, they'vealways got to get all the A stars, they've got to score the winning goal every time, we're
putting such pressure on them.
And so the heart of that chapter is really about encouraging our children to be the bestthat they can be, the best them that God has uniquely made them in the different strengths
(10:23):
that they have and cheering them on in that, but taking that pressure on them, off them.
sort of redefining ordinary.
So by ordinary, I don't mean a boring second best, but actually it's discovering, youknow, the joy in discovering who they are and their God given identity.
So yeah, that's at the heart of it.
And as I say, it's not gone without a little bit of pushback, but that's quite fun havingthat debate.
(10:47):
Yeah, no, I think that that perspective is a really important one to have.
Another chapter that also might run against prevailing culture is this idea that it's okayto fail.
Ah, people might think it's okay to do what?
To fail?
Is it okay?
(11:08):
Why should we allow our kids to fail?
again, is something I got so wrong, I think, in uh when our children were growing up.
I think I was so keen and as parents were often so keen to make life easy for them.
We want the road to be smooth.
We don't want to see them go through the challenges of life.
(11:29):
And we can become what's known as a helicopter parent.
So helicopter parents swoop in at a moment's notice with rotor blades uh flying around toavert uh any disaster.
anything that could possibly go wrong.
I can't tell you, the number of times I was driving across town to deliver forgottenfootball boots or ingredients for a cookery lesson or things that they'd forgotten because
(11:54):
I didn't want them to fail.
I didn't want them to get into trouble.
But you know, I robbed them of something by doing that because failure is actually quitean important, dealing with failure well is very important in terms of wellbeing because we
can't.
always succeed in everything.
It is part of life.
And so when we fail, often there's two different reactions that we have.
(12:19):
So we either blame ourselves, I'm so rubbish, I failed my maths test, I can't ever domaths, or we blame somebody else.
So the teacher didn't teach us the right syllabus, my pen didn't work, my laptop crashed,whatever it is.
And neither of those are good.
And what we need to try, and this is so hard, and I find this incredibly hard, but in asituation where our children have failed, rather than what I would do, which was either
(12:45):
try and sort it out or then tell them it didn't matter, allow them to be sad, allow themto be upset, because that's part of the emotion of life, and then seek ways to try and
make the situation better.
So a little bit here, a little bit there, how could they improve?
And that is how they build.
(13:06):
build well-being and resilience.
to say that word, I was going to say this all helps build resilience and sort of theability to sort of come back from a failure or a setback.
I guess with parenting my children, when they make mistakes, yes, okay, mistakes, mistakesare made, failure happens, but it's often on a smaller scale than, for example, if I mess
(13:38):
up.
as an adult.
It's often on a lot bigger scale than what my children do.
So in a way, it's kind of that training ground, isn't it?
You're allowing them to experience some of what it means to not get things right, to failin a sense.
(14:04):
But because it then
gives them it building up doesn't it builds up that the coping strategies and themechanisms of you know how do i cope with this on a smaller scale so that later in life
once we've let them go um when failure inevitably comes they know how to cope with itbetter sorry i cut you off
(14:26):
No, no, no, it was it was really good what you're saying.
And I think that I was really agreeing with you in saying the consequences are so muchbigger as adults.
So I think I say in the book, you know, if they oversleep and they and we do that paperround for them, don't know if people still do paper rounds these days, but our children
used to do paper rounds.
If they lose their pocket money and we just replace it one day, it won't be a paper round.
(14:51):
It will be an interview.
It won't be.
their pocket money, will be their mortgage.
It won't be, you we do their school homework for them or help them with it late at nightbecause they've forgotten to do it and it won't be their homework, it'll be a report for
their boss.
so just to try and help them get these good, good qualities in their lives and good habitsand good ways of thinking and managing their feelings and their emotions when they're
(15:16):
little is so much better because it's harder.
It's harder to manage all that when we're adults.
And we often say, you know, as parents, we're not bringing up children and we're not evenbringing up teenagers.
We're bringing up adults.
That's our goal to bring up adults who can manage well, make good choices, make good, wisechoices when we're not there at their shoulder.
(15:41):
And so you're so right in the little decisions and helping build that resilience.
When we're there to pick up the pieces also, when things don't go according to plan, asthey won't.
That's a good that's.
good strategy.
On the cover of your book, A Mind of Their Own, this is the second edition and itspecifically mentions that in this new edition you have some content all around social
(16:09):
media.
So how does social media negatively impact our children and what can we do about it?
Oh, it's such a big topic.
I've written a book called Left to Their Own Devices, Confident Parenting in an Age ofScreens, and that deals with that in much more detail.
(16:29):
But I realized that we needed to put some of that content really into this book as well.
So social media and just having a smartphone, little computer in their pocket is amassive, massive impact on wellbeing.
It's affecting their health.
It's affecting their sleep, their emotional wellbeing, their attention span, all thosekind of things.
(16:55):
We can't put everything at the feet of social media and blame them, but the spike in uhrates of rising anxiety and depression coincide with the advent of the smartphone, the uh
advent of the front-facing camera and of Instagram.
And I think that there definitely has to be some kind of connection.
(17:16):
And most parents are, well, we're getting so many people asking us for help in this area.
And they say, why is it so difficult?
And it's because we're not on a level playing field.
So there's something called the attention economy, which is that the big tech companiesare paying billions of pounds.
The biggest commodity is no longer oil or gold or precious metal, but it's attention, ourattention, our children's attention.
(17:43):
And then within that,
There's something called the slot machine effect, which means that the slot machine is themost money making part of any casino.
And when someone pulls the lever on a slot machine, the same thing happens in their brainas happens when you look at a smartphone and you see a like or a uh follower.
(18:06):
It's a thing called a variable reward.
A variable reward.
So they're
looking, you know, are we going to anticipation and reward?
Are they going to get that like?
Are they going to get that follower?
And it makes us keep coming back again and again.
There's a bit of a sort of dopamine spike in the brain that makes us keep coming back tothe phone.
(18:28):
And many teenagers are setting alarms during the night just to check their social mediafeeds, see how many likes and followers they have.
And if you think about it, the way our phones are designed,
and those little dots, you know, says, Dan is typing.
think, oh, what is Dan saying?
And if we get pulled into this as adults, then so much more our children.
(18:50):
And then we add to that algorithms.
So algorithms are inbuilt commands that mean that the phone is going to be showing us orthe apps are going to be showing us more and more extreme content of the thing that we're
looking at.
So a young person might look at
fitness and exercise and very soon they'll be shown uh content on dieting and then thatwill lead probably to uh eating disorders, self-harm.
(19:19):
And so we absolutely need to be helping our children put some good boundaries in place inthis area but not feel that we can't do anything.
We're not on the back foot.
There is so much that we can do.
So I've put lots of tips in the book including something called a family media agreement.
which is basically just getting together with your family and talking about yourboundaries for tech use in the home.
(19:43):
Really practical things like don't have phones in the bedroom, eh decide what your rulesare for phones at the meal table.
And the deal is that everybody signs up to this agreement, even the parents.
What do they do if they come across something that's scary or upsets them?
(20:04):
Who pays?
When do they get their first smartphone?
All those kind of really big issues that we can look at together and be confident that wecan put those good boundaries in place to keep, not just to keep them safe, but to enable
them to make the most of all technology has to offer.
That's really good.
(20:24):
Now, as I mentioned at the start of this episode, we are in the middle of Mental HealthAwareness Week.
And I guess when people hear sort of mental health and having poor mental health, all of asudden people think, that means I'm not allowed to be sad.
I have to be happy.
(20:46):
And if I'm sad, something must be wrong with me.
I must have poor mental health.
Now sometimes,
very extreme versions of sadness, could be signs of depression, etc.
But you've got a chapter in your book that says it's okay to feel sad, and that's actuallypart of being mentally well.
(21:10):
So can you just explain that for us?
Yes, so you're so right.
If sadness has become concerning, then definitely we should seek some help.
I think as parents, certainly I anyway, bringing up our four, I hated it when our childrenwere sad.
And I thought it reflected somehow on how well our family were doing um and how well I wasdoing as a parent.
(21:35):
You know, our success as a parent does not depend on how happy our children are because...
it is okay to be sad.
It is an important emotion.
There are sometimes things that actually we need to be sad about.
And so this is not about, the book is not about being positively happy the whole time, butrecognizing the different emotions that we have and managing them well.
(21:58):
And when we're sad, it allows us to uh exercise some emotional muscles, allowing ourchildren to feel sad, express their emotion.
Maybe put a name to it even if they're younger.
And then that helps them.
Again, we keep coming back to resilience, but it helps them build resilience.
(22:20):
And it also offers us as parents an opportunity to connect with them over the issue.
Whether it is that a favorite pet has died, that there's been something difficult that'shappened at school, they've been on the end of an unkind message on WhatsApp, whatever it
is.
allowing them to express their sadness rather than burying it and then working from thatthrough it.
(22:45):
I love this, there's a little quote in The Lord of the Rings from Gandalf and it goessomething like this, do not say, do not weep because not all tears are evil.
And I really like that because our tears are God given and they can be a good thing in theright context and managed well.
That's really great.
Now, your book speaks of so many other things.
(23:09):
We've just sort of scratched the surface with some of the chapters we've looked at.
So do go and get yourself a copy of the second edition of A Mind of Their Own.
Now, one of the things I really appreciate about it is it's not just uh theory.
It's not just, well, this is, know, what the ideal situation should be like.
(23:31):
based and grounded in a lot of research, but also at the end of each chapter, you've gotaction points, you've got suggested activities, and you even, excuse me, you even say
there's sometimes you get a thing called zip it, which means parents don't say this bit toyour children.
Don't say you're looking a bit tubby or whatever it is because it won't help them.
(23:54):
So why did you include these practical elements?
What, how do they work together as
are.
Well, I am passionate that we make a difference to families.
We can make a difference to families.
And so often it's the simple things and in the everyday things of family life that we cando these things.
So rather than just doing the theory, I wanted to make it really practical.
(24:19):
And so, yeah, there are the zippit bits of the yeah, you're looking a bit tubby, I thinkis in the chapter on body confidence, how we help our children manage, manage that.
But then there are
action points at the end of every chapter and also a family, some family activity ideas.
So a couple of examples maybe on the chapter on failure, you could have something calledfailure Friday and you find fun things that have been discovered through failure.
(24:48):
So they just Google, think there's popcorn and Play-Doh and a whole load of things,electricity, know, post-it notes.
There you go.
And but then sharing our own failures as well, children and adults alike.
So that's fun.
Or one of the action points is on the chapter where we were talking about managing ourthinking.
(25:11):
And it talks about, I talk about catching, challenging and changing negative thoughtpatterns.
And it's called blue to true thinking.
And it's so simple, but we just, when our children are stuck in a downward spiral ofnegative thinking, we get them to capture that thought.
either pop it on the phone or write it in a piece of paper.
(25:32):
And then we challenge it with the truth, the opposite, and get them to write that down,put that on the phone.
And then when those blue thoughts return, they can remember it, they've got it to comeback to, and they can begin to change that thought pattern.
So, I mean, that's so simple, but many people have found that a really helpful littledevice almost to begin to help our children manage their thinking.
(25:57):
So it's
packed full of lots of fun ideas, color coding the diary so that they haven't got lots ofstressful things going on, particularly in exam time, whole lot in there about, because
exam time at the moment, think, isn't it?
So how we can help them manage that well and lots of creative ideas.
That's wonderful.
Thank you, Katharine.
(26:18):
Now we'll be back chatting with Katharine Hill more about her life and her faith justafter these.
So do join us soon.
God Whispers Our Life Changes, a book by Michael and Delaine Sulkeld, is an incredibletrue-life story of Michael and Delaine, an ordinary couple who listened as God led them
(26:41):
from joblessness to starting and growing a business, then into ministries that have takenthem from underprivileged neighbourhoods in the United States to rural villages and orphan
care in sub-Saharan Africa.
It is a story of life lessons by example.
of the elation and frustration in starting and growing a business interwoven withheartwarming and heartbreaking stories of serving in their community and abroad and how
(27:11):
God led the way in it all.
God Whispers are Life Changes by Michael and Delaine Sulkeld is described as a must-readfor anyone looking for God's direction in serving others.
It is available now
from their website, GodWhispersForLife.com, as well as on other online retailers.
(27:35):
Do grab yourself a copy today.
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(27:58):
to keep supporting Christian books and authors.
Hello, welcome back to this episode of the Christian Book Blur podcast, where I've beenchatting with author Katharine Hill about her book, A Mind of Their Own, as part of this
Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK.
(28:19):
So Katharine, welcome back.
Now in this part of the show, we like to find out a little bit more about the authorthemselves.
So what do you do for fun?
Oh, lots of things.
I have got four adult children and seven grandchildren, about to be eight.
(28:40):
And I think a lot of what I do for fun is actually at the moment with my grandchildren.
So out on scooters, in the park, cooking, whatever.
But if it was just me, I do love time on my own as well.
I love just spending time with friends, but just me going out to somewhere, somewherebeautiful.
(29:02):
the beach, mountains, or probably that my best is finding a really good coffee shop andhaving a very good cup of coffee.
I was gonna ask you, do you prefer coffee or tea?
I love coffee myself.
I'm a coffee, yes, coffee, coffee, well not coffee every time, I think tea in theafternoon, but coffee would be my default, my go-to.
(29:25):
And as a coffee shop, what sort of coffee would you order?
I would, well do you know, I've suddenly started ordering cortados.
I quite like a cortado.
But if not a flat white, that would be my order of choice.
And is it just a coffee or do you get something on the side as well like a piece of cakeor something?
Normally just the coffee, normally just the coffee.
(29:47):
Not a big cake fan.
Okay, oh there you go.
Good, wonderful.
And of all the places that you've traveled, whether it's in the UK or maybe abroad, whichone do you think would be one of your favorite places that you've visited?
(30:08):
Well, in the UK, Pembrokeshire and a particular beach in Pembrokeshire with long, longsand in the sunshine.
Doesn't always happen in Wales, but when it does, beautiful sparkling sea, nobody there,some few birds, some lovely flowers on the coastal path.
(30:30):
So that's probably my go-to, but I've been privileged to travel with Care for the Familyto South Africa.
a number of times to give some seminars on parenting at the invitation of another charityin South Africa.
And I have loved South Africa, the big skies, the beautiful scenery, the welcoming people.
(30:51):
So yeah, if it was abroad, I love that.
My son was away, he was working in New Zealand for a year and that was a similarexperience of just that big landscape and beautiful skies.
Yeah, I love South Africa as well.
I'm from Zimbabwe myself.
It's just a bit further north of South Africa, but had grandparents who live in Cape Town.
(31:13):
used to.
And so I've spent many a holiday there.
So yes, it is wonderful.
Because, yeah, go on.
Why not?
Let's ask it.
If you were a cartoon character, what would you be and why?
That's a great question.
It's an old cartoon, but the Incredibles, and I would be Elastigirl, who was the mom, Ithink, who had these long bendy arms and she could just grab things and go around corners
(31:48):
and do all that sort of stuff.
So I think that would have to be me.
Elastigirl, very good.
We think our son is very much like Jack Jack, sort of changes temperament with a drop of ahat and is a real handful.
But there you go.
I love you dearly, by the way, my son.
If he listens to this in a few years time.
(32:08):
So you've already mentioned you've got some family.
Yeah, and lots of grandchildren, I must say.
You're doing very well.
You're doing very well to still have a bit of time to yourself.
Do you find parents?
Well,
your role as grandparent, is it drastically different to your role as parent?
(32:29):
Because I found with my parents, there's some things that they let my grandchildren dothat they never would have let me do.
And that sort of thing.
And I'm thinking, I was the child, wouldn't have flown.
But now that you're the grandparent, what's going on?
Do you sometimes find
(32:49):
Absolutely, all the time.
It is the best thing.
We absolutely love being grandparents.
I agree with the person that said if they'd known grandchildren were that much fun, they'dhave had them first.
uh I absolutely love it.
And yes, we probably do do things that we wouldn't have let our children do.
So we have them to stay quite often overnight.
(33:11):
And three of them came to stay last week and managed to leave their toothpaste behind.
And my daughter, who is their mum,
They live on, they manage an organic farm and they're quite a long way away from shops.
So she was just like, this is really irritating.
And someone was actually coming past our house and going down to the farm.
So he called by to pick up this toothpaste and I put it in a bag with three chocolatecoins.
(33:33):
And my daughter was like, what?
But apparently the grandchildren loved it.
But it is such a privilege, it really is, because you get a lot of the joy and not much ofthe hassle really.
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
What is the Holy Spirit doing in your life at the moment, or what does he put on yourheart, person?
(33:58):
that's a lovely question.
So uh Richard and I recently have become more involved with the 24-7 prayer uh and alsowere part of a monastic, uh lay monastic order called the Order of the Mustard Seeds.
So I think uh there would be two things, but number one would be just I've written a bookcalled Born Free, a call to be still, know God and flourish in a hectic world.
(34:25):
just the call of God, think, call of the Holy Spirit, to find moments of stillness withhim in the everyday busyness of life.
Of course it's good to be able to go away sometimes and spend time in solitude, but numberone, that's not my character, I don't find that easy.
And number two, life is busy.
(34:48):
And so I think just for me discovering God in the everyday moments,
and making margin for that, trying to make choices that make margin for that.
I have to say, it's an ongoing thing and I have a long, long, long way to go.
em But that, and then the second one was we're in a bit of a time of transition.
(35:09):
So em my husband's about to step down from some part of his work.
And so that will look very different.
And so I think we're praying about what is this new season?
going to look like with different responsibilities.
And as I carry on doing what I'm doing at Care for the Family and carrying on writing andthings and working that out together in our context.
(35:34):
So that would be a couple of things.
That's great, thank you.
And speaking of new seasons and carrying on with writing, have you got anything thatyou're currently working on at the moment that's gonna come out soonish, maybe in the next
year or so?
What's going on behind the scenes with you?
(35:54):
I am.
So I'm writing a book, actually, Parenting Teenagers, titled to be decided.
We need it to be, well, at Kev Family, we want it as part of our offering to parents.
And it's going to be a, I've got little way into it, but it's going to be well researched,like the other books with kingdom principles.
(36:21):
easy and accessible, but not shying away from some of the tough topics.
So I'm hoping that will come out next year.
But one of the one of the areas that's really captured my heart is identity amongst ouryoung people, the debate around gender, sexuality, it's a tough place for our young people
(36:43):
and for parents to navigate.
So want to look at that in that book.
And I just wonder if there might be something.
different on that after that, I don't know.
We'll wait and see.
But yeah, parenting teenagers.
So that would be the one.
interesting.
Watch this space.
Yes, very good.
Now where can people find you on social media or where can people buy your books?
(37:07):
Thank you.
Well, wherever you get your book shops, you get your books from all good book shops.
Muddy Pearl are the publishers.
The imprint is Kilfinnen Press.
And then Care for the Family, we also have a shop.
then local shops, and of course, Amazon.
But em I'd love to promote Muddy Pearl and Care for the Family, really, for the books.
(37:32):
You can get them there.
I have a website as well, Katherine.Hill.
So if you want to find out about what we're up to, as well as careforthefamily.org.uk,then have a look there.
And on Instagram.
Okay, wonderful.
I'll put a link to the Care for the Family page on this episode's show notes so thatpeople can find out about you and about your books as well as sort of the wider work that
(38:01):
Care for the Family also does.
So that's fantastic.
Thank you so much, Katharine.
I really appreciate reading the book myself as a parent, a mind of their own.
And if our discussion has sparked your interest today, do go and grab it.
copy for yourselves.
Well thank you Katharine for joining me today on the podcast.
(38:22):
It's been really great.
Thank you.
Thanks, Matt.
I just want to give a really big thank you to the sponsors of today's episode.
This is the book, God Whispers Our Life Changes by Michael and Delaine Selkeld.
That book is available now from their website, GodWhispersForLife.com.
Do go and check it out.
Thank you as well for listening to this episode.
(38:44):
Don't forget a new episode comes out on the first and the 15th of every month.
So I look forward to meeting with you again really soon as...
I encourage you and your discipleship, one book at a time, as I meet another fantasticChristian author and learn about their books, their life and their faith.
Thanks for joining me.
See you soon.
(39:05):
Thanks for listening to Christian Book Blurb with your host, Matt McChlery.
Do give it a like, give it a share and let your friends know all about it.
We do hope to see you again soon on another Christian Book Blurb.
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