August 26, 2025 • 22 mins
Grounding: How do we make space for both sorrow and joy?
In this tender and tactile episode, Jessica David steps out of her hosting role and into practice leadership, guiding listeners through a deeply personal ritual that blends lamentation and gratitude — with help from candles and beans. Drawing inspiration from her love of list-making, Jessica offers a sensory-rich experience for naming griefs and exaltations, helping us hold the complexity of life in a climate-changed world.
Main Practice: This episode’s practice invites listeners to physically express emotions using small, everyday objects. With humor and heart, Jessica guides us through a sequence of lamentations and exaltations — statements of grief and gratitude — placing one object down for each.
Through this embodied ritual, we’re reminded that:
- Grief and joy often coexist
- Tactile practices help us stay grounded in the moment
- Honoring loss is itself a sacred, healing act
- Even impermanent gestures can hold deep meaning
This practice is accessible, creative, and well-suited for individuals, groups, and even children — with plenty of room for improvisation and personalization.
What You’ll Need:- A candle and lighter (optional but recommended)
- A flat surface (floor, table, ground)
- Two types of small objects (8 of each)
- One type represents grief or lamentation
- The other represents gratitude or exaltation (Examples: beans, stones, buttons, leaves, shells)
Next Steps:
- Try the practice using what you have on hand: beans, buttons, shells, or stones
- Explore it alone or with a group
- Consider bringing it to your faith community, youth group, or a climate-related gathering
Share your experience with us: Email: podcast@thebtscenter.org Text or Call: 207-200-6986
Revisit the earlier practices in this series, offered by Madeline Bugeau-Heartt, Ash Temin, and Peterson Toscano.
Meet the Guest / Host: Jessica David is a Harvard Divinity School student and intern at The BTS Center. She is a curious and courageous spiritual leader who finds meaning in honest conversations, tactile rituals, and community-based exploration of climate, faith, and care. She’s also an excellent list-maker and lover of beautiful beans.
Meet the Guest / Host:Peterson Toscano is the producer of the Climate Changed podcast and a longtime collaborator with The BTS Center. A skilled storyteller, performance artist, and climate communicator, Peterson brings creativity and depth to every episode. Learn more at his website, PetersonToscano.com
This episode concludes our Behind the Scenes mini-series — four practices for spiritual grounding in a climate-changed world. Learn more at: thebtscenter.org
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Jessica David (00:00):
Hello, friends. I'm Jessica David, a Harvard
Divinity School student, an intern at the BTS
Center. This is the climate change podcast,
behind the Scenes edition. On this
podcast, we talk about spiritual leadership for a
climate change world. I am here today with
our producer.
>> Peterson Toscano (00:18):
Peterson Toscano, and you're sounding
great. Your levels are excellent. This has been
such a wonderful time working with you.
And for the listener, Jessica came with
no experience podcasting.
>> Jessica David (00:32):
Zero, negative experience.
>> Peterson Toscano (00:34):
She talks. I mean, she's been talking throughout most of her
life, but doing it on a podcast, it's a
totally different thing. Even writing, right? You've learned the
writing for podcasts is different, and you've done so
well. It's been so great
working with you. And thank you for doing this series,
especially this shorter series. It's my
(00:55):
belief that the best length for a podcast
is 15 minutes. Like, that's my favorite. And
you like bringing these down, nice little chunks.
>> Jessica David (01:03):
And that's hard. I thought that was going to
be so easy, and it's a lot harder, you know, But I've
confessed to our listeners in other episodes that I
am. I am definitely a wordy person, so
that's where that comes from. But, Petersen,
I'm very. I'm very nervous because today I am going to
guide us through a practice.
>> Peterson Toscano (01:22):
Yeah, I know. And this is a big thing for you. It's, it's,
you know, you're stretching yourself and so let
me ask what you asked me when it was my turn.
>> Jessica David (01:30):
To do a practice.
>> Peterson Toscano (01:31):
What are your intentions with this practice?
>> Jessica David (01:36):
Well, you know, I had an answer because I knew you were going to ask me
that. But I have to say I've been thinking about it a
little differently since listening and
recording the previous three episodes and
the practices with you and with Ash and with
Madeline and really feeling how
special those were and how much they meant to me. My, uh,
(01:57):
intention is to live up to that and leave our
listeners truly with some kind of a blessing or
an offering just to get through
difficult day or a difficult time. But also,
I will say, you know, I've been playing with. This
sounds almost funny to say, um, I'm playing with the idea of lament,
but I've really,
(02:19):
I have. I think my time.
>> Peterson Toscano (02:20):
That's the play date I was expecting.
>> Jessica David (02:22):
I know, right? That's. That's what happens when you hang out with us at
the BTS Center. But this, you know,
this notion of lamentation and how we've come
so far away from it, and it's. It's sort of a dirty
word. In today's world. But how do we,
how do we lament? And, you know, it's such a core part of
being, being human and, and loving,
(02:43):
loving other beings and places
and, and ideas and things. That's
really what my practice is about is. Is sort of
living into lamentation, but also,
you know, what are the other very human emotions that come up
and how can we express them?
>> Peterson Toscano (03:00):
And I'm glad that you're returning to Lamentation. I mean,
you had a previous episode about grief a couple
episodes back, and the BTS center does this a lot.
But grief, lamentation, this isn't a one and
done thing. Any one of us who've lost somebody who's
close to us, it's not like we get it out of our system at some
point. It's cyclical. It comes back at different
(03:21):
times, unexpectedly. That's part of the process,
especially as we're losing
systems that are huge. Uh, it's
not the end of the world, but it's the end of parts of
the world. And it's definitely the end of the world that we knew when we were younger.
And that's even for young people.
>> Jessica David (03:37):
Yes, absolutely.
>> Peterson Toscano (03:39):
So this practice that you've done, you've had the
privilege of getting to see other people do it and hearing how
they put theirs together. How did you put this practice
together?
>> Jessica David (03:49):
Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed to admit
this, actually. Um, again, having seen the
others now, but this is, this is basically
my attempt to embody list
making, uh, which is something I do a lot of and I think I'm
pretty good at, but particularly around grief
and also gratitude, because to me, those two things go, go
(04:09):
hand in hand. But I'm a. I'm a big believer
in making lists. And really there's three reasons for that.
First, I find that making a list allows me to,
like, name and give voice to things that are taking
up space in my mind or my
heart. You know, they're kind of occupying this space. I
can put them into. Into a label, into words on a
(04:30):
list. It just shifts the relationship a little
bit. Secondly, I find that
lists are a way for me to, at least for
a short time, feel like I'm bringing order to something that
feels chaotic or messy. It's a way of sorting
and grouping. Uh, and then third
is, you know, related to that is you see connections
between things. I find when you start listing them out, you know,
(04:53):
all of a sudden you recognize how a few things
might be connected in ways that you wouldn't have
otherwise seen. So, so we are going
to. In my practice, we're going to offer a list,
basically of lamentations,
statements of. Of grievance, of loss,
of grief, of mourning. We're going
(05:14):
to also try to balance that out. It's not going to be
all negative, but, uh, that is what I'm
hoping we're going to do.
>> Peterson Toscano (05:20):
Yeah.
I do have a question about your listing practice. When
you make a list, are you a number
list person? Dashes bullets? Is there a
specific way you like to make a list?
>> Jessica David (05:32):
Oh, yes, there are many specific ways. And I use
different bullet points depending on the
type of list and then the
hierarchy or, um, the sorting within
the list. I find that dashes do not work well for me
as a list anchor. It's not enough. It doesn't
have enough of a presence. I find numbering does work really
well. It's strong and solid. But
(05:55):
numbering does not work with certain things. And I
find, you know, certainly emotions and ideas,
it's not helpful to number them. Turns out.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:04):
Do you remember the bullet journal? That was very popular.
>> Jessica David (06:06):
Oh, yes.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:07):
I tried that five years ago. Did you like it? Did it work for you?
Because it's a lot about lists.
>> Jessica David (06:12):
No, it didn't.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:14):
Don't tell me how to make a list.
>> Jessica David (06:17):
Yeah, it was a little too
prescriptive for me, but I,
uh, had definitely went down that rabbit hole on Instagram for a while
of everyone's beautiful bujo, I
think. Oh, and just like Madeline Bujo heart. I think they
call it the bujo. Uh, hashtag bujo
Bullet journal.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:37):
Are you we gonna need any supplies for this particular.
Because most of these have not been with supplies. I've been surprised
because BTS is big into supplies. I know.
>> Jessica David (06:46):
I also am big into supplies. And yes, you are going to
need some things. Uh, uh, and this is really because
I confessed a few episodes back when we
introduced this concept of. Of practice
that, you know, I can feel very disconnected from
my body. So I do find, like, some sort of tactical
element helps me stay in the moment. So
(07:06):
very simple. You're gonna need a candle and something to light it
with. You don't actually need that, but I think it brings something to the
practice. Uh, just some kind of a flat
surface in front of you. It can be the ground, the floor if
you're inside a desk, driveway, table,
anything. And then you're going to need this. You really will
need two types of. Of small
objects with maybe around eight
(07:29):
or so of each object. So you could use little
rocks or pebbles or blades of grass,
seashells. I Am using two kinds of
dried beans because I happen to have a lot of that
on hand. My husband and I belong to an artisanal
bean club, so we have a lot of.
It is an awesome club. Um, and the beans are absolutely
(07:50):
beautiful. So I also just love the way they. They look.
You can probably tell I'd never passed the, like, macaroni
necklace level of art.
>> Peterson Toscano (07:58):
But the artisanal beans, do they also produce
artisanal flatulence? Is it a
different type?
>> Jessica David (08:06):
They mean that they're very special kind.
>> Peterson Toscano (08:11):
All right, so you're going to need two types of small
objects, and it doesn't matter what they are, except that
you have eight of each. So, like, if it's marbles, you have eight
marbles and you have eight straws.
>> Jessica David (08:22):
Yes. So, you know, one of the object types,
in my case it is the lima bean,
is going to represent those
griefs or lamentations that I mentioned.
You know, we're going to lift and hold, and we're
going to place each grief and
each being, in my case, as a way of
(08:43):
acknowledging and honoring the feelings that may
be inside of us today. And then
I'm going to encourage us to match those
lamentations with a series of
exaltations or statements of things that
we feel joyful, um, that we're delighted by.
In my case, that is. Actually, I don't even know what kind of bean this
(09:03):
is. It's a beautiful red, uh, and white sort
of speckled bean.
I said match. That might not be the right word here. The point
is not to. To counter the griefs
or make them invalid or, you
know, outnumber them with more gratitudes.
It's really just to remind us that life
(09:24):
brings both joy and sorrow, and
they both exist in every moment. And sometimes they
actually show up in close proximity to each other.
So that is what each object will represent for
us.
>> Peterson Toscano (09:36):
To the listener. This may not be the time for you to
do this. You might be driving or running.
And it's very strange thing for a podcaster to
encourage you to turn it off and come back to it later, because
the fear is you'll never come back. But
practices like this are about intentionality.
Some things you just can't do on the fly. And I
(09:57):
appreciate the objects that go with this because
it really is very grounding and intentional
in a way that you've stepped it up
in collecting and using these objects.
>> Jessica David (10:08):
Well, it doesn't feel like that. Uh, but thank you, Peterson.
I find, um, trying to push myself into a tactical element
can also sometimes help take a little bit
of the self consciousness away that I feel
around these kinds of practices.
>> Peterson Toscano (10:22):
Speaking of which, I know this has been a stretch for you, so how do you feel
now and how do you feel about sharing this with us?
>> Jessica David (10:28):
I feel really nervous, I have to say.
Yeah, this feels, you know, personal, like you're putting
a part of you out there. But I'm also excited.
I'm really excited about this whole series.
So, yeah, let's do it.
>> Peterson Toscano (10:42):
Let's do it.
>> Jessica David (10:45):
All right, listeners, thanks for bearing with me as I try
my very first practice.
So when you're ready, you're going to first
place the candle in the center of your surface, whatever
that might be.
You're going to lay your objects around the candle.
(11:06):
So place it wherever you'd like.
And as you light the candle, make some kind of
a request. For the next few minutes,
what I've used is may I honor the depths
of my grief and gratitude, and may m my
lamentations and exaltations be. Be held with
(11:26):
love by all divine beings.
May I honor the depths of my grief
and gratitude, and may my
lamentations and exaltations be held with
love by all divine beings.
You can customize that however you want to,
whoever you feel might be listening.
(11:57):
M and next you're going
to pick up one of your grief objects
and focus your mind on something that brings
you grief. Something that you've lost
or something you regret. Something
that is happening in the world or in your environment
(12:19):
that brings anger or
heartbreak. Something or
someone that you mourn. Could be a reality
or a, uh, fear, anticipatory grief.
And as you name that grief,
either out loud or in your heart,
you're going to place the object on the surface in front
(12:40):
of you.
Then you'll pick up the second type of object.
This is going to represent a gratitude or an
exaltation call
to mind. Something that brings you delight,
something that brings joy or awe,
uh, or makes you laugh
(13:03):
or makes you cry in the good way. The good way
of crying. And this could be another
living being. Could be a place that means a lot
to you, be the ecosystem that
surrounds you, that the air that you
feel could be a moment or a, uh,
memory. M.
(13:23):
And as you hold this object, name
that gratitude specifically in your
heart, or maybe out loud and
place the object down in front of you.
And you'll continue in this way until
(13:44):
you run out of objects or you
feel as though you've you fully attended to today's
griefs and gratitudes and the things that are taking space
in your heart right now at this moment.
And one by one, you'll hold up something that
matters. You'll give voice to it and honor
(14:05):
it, and then you're going to place it within a bigger
picture.
(14:33):
And when you feel as though you have shared what was
in your heart, take a second to
really observe the arrangement before
you. Does
anything stand out? Does anything emerge?
Are you surprised in any way?
(14:57):
Once m you do that, you're going to take a moment
to say a note of closing.
So I might say something like,
thank you for the fullness of feeling.
May I do whatever I can to spread
joy and to witness sorrow,
(15:23):
and then you'll blow out the candle.
M
And, of course, there are any number of ways that you could vary this
(15:45):
practice. You could use big objects instead
of small. Instead of doing it
alone, you could invite a partner or a group
to join you. You could use your
objects to make something really beautiful and practical,
like a bracelet or a collage or
a cake. Instead of alternating grief and
(16:06):
gratitude, you could cluster your
lamentations and your exaltations.
You might shout them instead of saying them
silently, or just to yourself.
You could recite your litany
multiple times. There's any number of ways that you could
play with this and really just give
(16:26):
expression to the feelings within you.
>> Peterson Toscano (16:30):
Jessica, thank you for this. I,
ah, was following along with
you. And I happen to have different
vitamins by my desks.
So some were gummy. One with the gummy
vitamins, because I like gummy
vitamins. And then others were, like, the hard vitamins
that, like, are adult vitamins.
(16:52):
Uh, so.
>> Jessica David (16:53):
I love that. I love that.
>> Peterson Toscano (16:56):
Yeah. As I was doing it, I was reminded of
a very powerful practice that dealt with the
grief of COVID that I was
invited to, uh, by the artist George
Ferrandi. She's a wonderful
artist who, like, does work
usually with groups. And this was very selected. It
(17:17):
was eight people, actually, seven plus
her. And we sat around this round table that
she designed, and she. She made with
ceramics, little, um,
like dominoes with just different colors
and images and that they didn't have any. They didn't
have given any specific meaning. But she would go through a series of
(17:38):
prompts, and you had these trays that you could put
them in. She's like, on the top tray, pick
a. A tile that represents something you
lost during COVID You know, we would all do that, and
you heard the clink and the clack of that, and nobody talked.
And then she kept going through, like, what was resources you found
and you know, what were ways that you were there for other people.
>> Jessica David (17:59):
Wow.
>> Peterson Toscano (17:59):
Um, I can see how your practice is,
is something that could work so beautifully with a group
of people as well, but also a particular
grief like after an extreme weather event
that people experienced. Uh, I could see
doing this as a spiritual care associate with the Red
Cross. M. When I'm out
(18:20):
on a call and we are helping people in a
shelter and there's a lot of time and there's
like, people need time to process. This could be a very
powerful thing. Kids I can imagine would
really find this so beautiful,
um, and helpful and creative.
>> Jessica David (18:37):
That's lovely.
>> Peterson Toscano (18:38):
Thank you. Thank you for this. I'm definitely going to
bring this practice to my life and bring it into groups that I'm
with. Maybe even do a session at my Quaker
meeting. We have like that, like an after meeting session
people can do. And I could see doing this one. It could be very
much uniting.
>> Jessica David (18:55):
Oh, I love that. And I hope you'll tell me how it goes if you
do.
>> Peterson Toscano (18:59):
Absolutely.
>> Jessica David (19:00):
I think there's something actually really powerful about the
impermanence of it too. You know, like
using beans or pasta or rocks or,
you know, and then when you're done, you just sort of collect them
up and, and go on. And the
next time it's going to look a little different, uh, even if you use the
exact same objects. So there's something about
that. It's a little bit of a meta message
(19:23):
to me. It takes away a little bit of the pressure
for me to, like, step into the practice.
>> Peterson Toscano (19:28):
Right. I don't have to be artsy about it. I'm not building
a monument, but a moment, a moment of
reflection. And I love that. Thank you.
>> Jessica David (19:37):
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Peterson.
Okay, listeners, now it's your turn.
What did you think? Tell us about your
experience with this practice. Be honest. I can take it
or share any other practice or
exercise that brings you strength and peace.
I am so curious if you have found
(19:59):
these practices that we have laid out for you over the last
four episodes at all helpful. If they've,
if they've nudged anything in you or they've led
you in a different direction, please, please share with
us. You can email us@,
um,
podcastbtscenter.org
that address again is
podcastabtscenter.org
(20:22):
or leave us a voicemail at
207-20062.
That's
207-200-6986.
You can also text that number
207-200698.
Six however you get in touch, please do.
(20:43):
I would love to hear from you. For more
on this and other episodes, please visit
climate changepodcast.org
that website again is click climate
changed podcast.org
thank you so much for listening to the Climate Changed
Podcast behind the Scenes Edition with
me, Jessica David. Coming up
(21:06):
in our next episode, the BTS Center's
Alan Ewing Merrill and Allison Cornish will be
back to talk with us about callings and I am
super curious about how that conversation will unfold.
Many thanks to our producer Peterson Toscano
for producing this episode and to Nicole Deeroff
for your assistance and support. Thank you also
(21:28):
to Madeline Bujo Hart and to Ash Tiemann
for joining us for this series
of practices over the last few episodes.
Climate Changed Podcast is a project of the
BTS center in beautiful Portland, Maine.
Learn about the many resources we offer along
with our in person and online programs.
(21:49):
Visit our website the
btscenter.org
that's thebtscenter.org
Take Good Care my friends.
Hello, friends. I'm Jessica David, a Harvard
Divinity School student, an intern at the BTS
Center. This is the climate change podcast,
behind the Scenes edition. On this
podcast, we talk about spiritual leadership for a
climate change world. I am here today with
our producer.
>> Peterson Toscano (00:18):
Peterson Toscano, and you're sounding
great. Your levels are excellent. This has been
such a wonderful time working with you.
And for the listener, Jessica came with
no experience podcasting.
>> Jessica David (00:32):
Zero, negative experience.
>> Peterson Toscano (00:34):
She talks. I mean, she's been talking throughout most of her
life, but doing it on a podcast, it's a
totally different thing. Even writing, right? You've learned the
writing for podcasts is different, and you've done so
well. It's been so great
working with you. And thank you for doing this series,
especially this shorter series. It's my
(00:55):
belief that the best length for a podcast
is 15 minutes. Like, that's my favorite. And
you like bringing these down, nice little chunks.
>> Jessica David (01:03):
And that's hard. I thought that was going to
be so easy, and it's a lot harder, you know, But I've
confessed to our listeners in other episodes that I
am. I am definitely a wordy person, so
that's where that comes from. But, Petersen,
I'm very. I'm very nervous because today I am going to
guide us through a practice.
>> Peterson Toscano (01:22):
Yeah, I know. And this is a big thing for you. It's, it's,
you know, you're stretching yourself and so let
me ask what you asked me when it was my turn.
>> Jessica David (01:30):
To do a practice.
>> Peterson Toscano (01:31):
What are your intentions with this practice?
>> Jessica David (01:36):
Well, you know, I had an answer because I knew you were going to ask me
that. But I have to say I've been thinking about it a
little differently since listening and
recording the previous three episodes and
the practices with you and with Ash and with
Madeline and really feeling how
special those were and how much they meant to me. My, uh,
(01:57):
intention is to live up to that and leave our
listeners truly with some kind of a blessing or
an offering just to get through
difficult day or a difficult time. But also,
I will say, you know, I've been playing with. This
sounds almost funny to say, um, I'm playing with the idea of lament,
but I've really,
(02:19):
I have. I think my time.
>> Peterson Toscano (02:20):
That's the play date I was expecting.
>> Jessica David (02:22):
I know, right? That's. That's what happens when you hang out with us at
the BTS Center. But this, you know,
this notion of lamentation and how we've come
so far away from it, and it's. It's sort of a dirty
word. In today's world. But how do we,
how do we lament? And, you know, it's such a core part of
being, being human and, and loving,
(02:43):
loving other beings and places
and, and ideas and things. That's
really what my practice is about is. Is sort of
living into lamentation, but also,
you know, what are the other very human emotions that come up
and how can we express them?
>> Peterson Toscano (03:00):
And I'm glad that you're returning to Lamentation. I mean,
you had a previous episode about grief a couple
episodes back, and the BTS center does this a lot.
But grief, lamentation, this isn't a one and
done thing. Any one of us who've lost somebody who's
close to us, it's not like we get it out of our system at some
point. It's cyclical. It comes back at different
(03:21):
times, unexpectedly. That's part of the process,
especially as we're losing
systems that are huge. Uh, it's
not the end of the world, but it's the end of parts of
the world. And it's definitely the end of the world that we knew when we were younger.
And that's even for young people.
>> Jessica David (03:37):
Yes, absolutely.
>> Peterson Toscano (03:39):
So this practice that you've done, you've had the
privilege of getting to see other people do it and hearing how
they put theirs together. How did you put this practice
together?
>> Jessica David (03:49):
Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed to admit
this, actually. Um, again, having seen the
others now, but this is, this is basically
my attempt to embody list
making, uh, which is something I do a lot of and I think I'm
pretty good at, but particularly around grief
and also gratitude, because to me, those two things go, go
(04:09):
hand in hand. But I'm a. I'm a big believer
in making lists. And really there's three reasons for that.
First, I find that making a list allows me to,
like, name and give voice to things that are taking
up space in my mind or my
heart. You know, they're kind of occupying this space. I
can put them into. Into a label, into words on a
(04:30):
list. It just shifts the relationship a little
bit. Secondly, I find that
lists are a way for me to, at least for
a short time, feel like I'm bringing order to something that
feels chaotic or messy. It's a way of sorting
and grouping. Uh, and then third
is, you know, related to that is you see connections
between things. I find when you start listing them out, you know,
(04:53):
all of a sudden you recognize how a few things
might be connected in ways that you wouldn't have
otherwise seen. So, so we are going
to. In my practice, we're going to offer a list,
basically of lamentations,
statements of. Of grievance, of loss,
of grief, of mourning. We're going
(05:14):
to also try to balance that out. It's not going to be
all negative, but, uh, that is what I'm
hoping we're going to do.
>> Peterson Toscano (05:20):
Yeah.
I do have a question about your listing practice. When
you make a list, are you a number
list person? Dashes bullets? Is there a
specific way you like to make a list?
>> Jessica David (05:32):
Oh, yes, there are many specific ways. And I use
different bullet points depending on the
type of list and then the
hierarchy or, um, the sorting within
the list. I find that dashes do not work well for me
as a list anchor. It's not enough. It doesn't
have enough of a presence. I find numbering does work really
well. It's strong and solid. But
(05:55):
numbering does not work with certain things. And I
find, you know, certainly emotions and ideas,
it's not helpful to number them. Turns out.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:04):
Do you remember the bullet journal? That was very popular.
>> Jessica David (06:06):
Oh, yes.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:07):
I tried that five years ago. Did you like it? Did it work for you?
Because it's a lot about lists.
>> Jessica David (06:12):
No, it didn't.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:14):
Don't tell me how to make a list.
>> Jessica David (06:17):
Yeah, it was a little too
prescriptive for me, but I,
uh, had definitely went down that rabbit hole on Instagram for a while
of everyone's beautiful bujo, I
think. Oh, and just like Madeline Bujo heart. I think they
call it the bujo. Uh, hashtag bujo
Bullet journal.
>> Peterson Toscano (06:37):
Are you we gonna need any supplies for this particular.
Because most of these have not been with supplies. I've been surprised
because BTS is big into supplies. I know.
>> Jessica David (06:46):
I also am big into supplies. And yes, you are going to
need some things. Uh, uh, and this is really because
I confessed a few episodes back when we
introduced this concept of. Of practice
that, you know, I can feel very disconnected from
my body. So I do find, like, some sort of tactical
element helps me stay in the moment. So
(07:06):
very simple. You're gonna need a candle and something to light it
with. You don't actually need that, but I think it brings something to the
practice. Uh, just some kind of a flat
surface in front of you. It can be the ground, the floor if
you're inside a desk, driveway, table,
anything. And then you're going to need this. You really will
need two types of. Of small
objects with maybe around eight
(07:29):
or so of each object. So you could use little
rocks or pebbles or blades of grass,
seashells. I Am using two kinds of
dried beans because I happen to have a lot of that
on hand. My husband and I belong to an artisanal
bean club, so we have a lot of.
It is an awesome club. Um, and the beans are absolutely
(07:50):
beautiful. So I also just love the way they. They look.
You can probably tell I'd never passed the, like, macaroni
necklace level of art.
>> Peterson Toscano (07:58):
But the artisanal beans, do they also produce
artisanal flatulence? Is it a
different type?
>> Jessica David (08:06):
They mean that they're very special kind.
>> Peterson Toscano (08:11):
All right, so you're going to need two types of small
objects, and it doesn't matter what they are, except that
you have eight of each. So, like, if it's marbles, you have eight
marbles and you have eight straws.
>> Jessica David (08:22):
Yes. So, you know, one of the object types,
in my case it is the lima bean,
is going to represent those
griefs or lamentations that I mentioned.
You know, we're going to lift and hold, and we're
going to place each grief and
each being, in my case, as a way of
(08:43):
acknowledging and honoring the feelings that may
be inside of us today. And then
I'm going to encourage us to match those
lamentations with a series of
exaltations or statements of things that
we feel joyful, um, that we're delighted by.
In my case, that is. Actually, I don't even know what kind of bean this
(09:03):
is. It's a beautiful red, uh, and white sort
of speckled bean.
I said match. That might not be the right word here. The point
is not to. To counter the griefs
or make them invalid or, you
know, outnumber them with more gratitudes.
It's really just to remind us that life
(09:24):
brings both joy and sorrow, and
they both exist in every moment. And sometimes they
actually show up in close proximity to each other.
So that is what each object will represent for
us.
>> Peterson Toscano (09:36):
To the listener. This may not be the time for you to
do this. You might be driving or running.
And it's very strange thing for a podcaster to
encourage you to turn it off and come back to it later, because
the fear is you'll never come back. But
practices like this are about intentionality.
Some things you just can't do on the fly. And I
(09:57):
appreciate the objects that go with this because
it really is very grounding and intentional
in a way that you've stepped it up
in collecting and using these objects.
>> Jessica David (10:08):
Well, it doesn't feel like that. Uh, but thank you, Peterson.
I find, um, trying to push myself into a tactical element
can also sometimes help take a little bit
of the self consciousness away that I feel
around these kinds of practices.
>> Peterson Toscano (10:22):
Speaking of which, I know this has been a stretch for you, so how do you feel
now and how do you feel about sharing this with us?
>> Jessica David (10:28):
I feel really nervous, I have to say.
Yeah, this feels, you know, personal, like you're putting
a part of you out there. But I'm also excited.
I'm really excited about this whole series.
So, yeah, let's do it.
>> Peterson Toscano (10:42):
Let's do it.
>> Jessica David (10:45):
All right, listeners, thanks for bearing with me as I try
my very first practice.
So when you're ready, you're going to first
place the candle in the center of your surface, whatever
that might be.
You're going to lay your objects around the candle.
(11:06):
So place it wherever you'd like.
And as you light the candle, make some kind of
a request. For the next few minutes,
what I've used is may I honor the depths
of my grief and gratitude, and may m my
lamentations and exaltations be. Be held with
(11:26):
love by all divine beings.
May I honor the depths of my grief
and gratitude, and may my
lamentations and exaltations be held with
love by all divine beings.
You can customize that however you want to,
whoever you feel might be listening.
(11:57):
M and next you're going
to pick up one of your grief objects
and focus your mind on something that brings
you grief. Something that you've lost
or something you regret. Something
that is happening in the world or in your environment
(12:19):
that brings anger or
heartbreak. Something or
someone that you mourn. Could be a reality
or a, uh, fear, anticipatory grief.
And as you name that grief,
either out loud or in your heart,
you're going to place the object on the surface in front
(12:40):
of you.
Then you'll pick up the second type of object.
This is going to represent a gratitude or an
exaltation call
to mind. Something that brings you delight,
something that brings joy or awe,
uh, or makes you laugh
(13:03):
or makes you cry in the good way. The good way
of crying. And this could be another
living being. Could be a place that means a lot
to you, be the ecosystem that
surrounds you, that the air that you
feel could be a moment or a, uh,
memory. M.
(13:23):
And as you hold this object, name
that gratitude specifically in your
heart, or maybe out loud and
place the object down in front of you.
And you'll continue in this way until
(13:44):
you run out of objects or you
feel as though you've you fully attended to today's
griefs and gratitudes and the things that are taking space
in your heart right now at this moment.
And one by one, you'll hold up something that
matters. You'll give voice to it and honor
(14:05):
it, and then you're going to place it within a bigger
picture.
(14:33):
And when you feel as though you have shared what was
in your heart, take a second to
really observe the arrangement before
you. Does
anything stand out? Does anything emerge?
Are you surprised in any way?
(14:57):
Once m you do that, you're going to take a moment
to say a note of closing.
So I might say something like,
thank you for the fullness of feeling.
May I do whatever I can to spread
joy and to witness sorrow,
(15:23):
and then you'll blow out the candle.
M
And, of course, there are any number of ways that you could vary this
(15:45):
practice. You could use big objects instead
of small. Instead of doing it
alone, you could invite a partner or a group
to join you. You could use your
objects to make something really beautiful and practical,
like a bracelet or a collage or
a cake. Instead of alternating grief and
(16:06):
gratitude, you could cluster your
lamentations and your exaltations.
You might shout them instead of saying them
silently, or just to yourself.
You could recite your litany
multiple times. There's any number of ways that you could
play with this and really just give
(16:26):
expression to the feelings within you.
>> Peterson Toscano (16:30):
Jessica, thank you for this. I,
ah, was following along with
you. And I happen to have different
vitamins by my desks.
So some were gummy. One with the gummy
vitamins, because I like gummy
vitamins. And then others were, like, the hard vitamins
that, like, are adult vitamins.
(16:52):
Uh, so.
>> Jessica David (16:53):
I love that. I love that.
>> Peterson Toscano (16:56):
Yeah. As I was doing it, I was reminded of
a very powerful practice that dealt with the
grief of COVID that I was
invited to, uh, by the artist George
Ferrandi. She's a wonderful
artist who, like, does work
usually with groups. And this was very selected. It
(17:17):
was eight people, actually, seven plus
her. And we sat around this round table that
she designed, and she. She made with
ceramics, little, um,
like dominoes with just different colors
and images and that they didn't have any. They didn't
have given any specific meaning. But she would go through a series of
(17:38):
prompts, and you had these trays that you could put
them in. She's like, on the top tray, pick
a. A tile that represents something you
lost during COVID You know, we would all do that, and
you heard the clink and the clack of that, and nobody talked.
And then she kept going through, like, what was resources you found
and you know, what were ways that you were there for other people.
>> Jessica David (17:59):
Wow.
>> Peterson Toscano (17:59):
Um, I can see how your practice is,
is something that could work so beautifully with a group
of people as well, but also a particular
grief like after an extreme weather event
that people experienced. Uh, I could see
doing this as a spiritual care associate with the Red
Cross. M. When I'm out
(18:20):
on a call and we are helping people in a
shelter and there's a lot of time and there's
like, people need time to process. This could be a very
powerful thing. Kids I can imagine would
really find this so beautiful,
um, and helpful and creative.
>> Jessica David (18:37):
That's lovely.
>> Peterson Toscano (18:38):
Thank you. Thank you for this. I'm definitely going to
bring this practice to my life and bring it into groups that I'm
with. Maybe even do a session at my Quaker
meeting. We have like that, like an after meeting session
people can do. And I could see doing this one. It could be very
much uniting.
>> Jessica David (18:55):
Oh, I love that. And I hope you'll tell me how it goes if you
do.
>> Peterson Toscano (18:59):
Absolutely.
>> Jessica David (19:00):
I think there's something actually really powerful about the
impermanence of it too. You know, like
using beans or pasta or rocks or,
you know, and then when you're done, you just sort of collect them
up and, and go on. And the
next time it's going to look a little different, uh, even if you use the
exact same objects. So there's something about
that. It's a little bit of a meta message
(19:23):
to me. It takes away a little bit of the pressure
for me to, like, step into the practice.
>> Peterson Toscano (19:28):
Right. I don't have to be artsy about it. I'm not building
a monument, but a moment, a moment of
reflection. And I love that. Thank you.
>> Jessica David (19:37):
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Peterson.
Okay, listeners, now it's your turn.
What did you think? Tell us about your
experience with this practice. Be honest. I can take it
or share any other practice or
exercise that brings you strength and peace.
I am so curious if you have found
(19:59):
these practices that we have laid out for you over the last
four episodes at all helpful. If they've,
if they've nudged anything in you or they've led
you in a different direction, please, please share with
us. You can email us@,
um,
podcastbtscenter.org
that address again is
podcastabtscenter.org
(20:22):
or leave us a voicemail at
207-20062.
That's
207-200-6986.
You can also text that number
207-200698.
Six however you get in touch, please do.
(20:43):
I would love to hear from you. For more
on this and other episodes, please visit
climate changepodcast.org
that website again is click climate
changed podcast.org
thank you so much for listening to the Climate Changed
Podcast behind the Scenes Edition with
me, Jessica David. Coming up
(21:06):
in our next episode, the BTS Center's
Alan Ewing Merrill and Allison Cornish will be
back to talk with us about callings and I am
super curious about how that conversation will unfold.
Many thanks to our producer Peterson Toscano
for producing this episode and to Nicole Deeroff
for your assistance and support. Thank you also
(21:28):
to Madeline Bujo Hart and to Ash Tiemann
for joining us for this series
of practices over the last few episodes.
Climate Changed Podcast is a project of the
BTS center in beautiful Portland, Maine.
Learn about the many resources we offer along
with our in person and online programs.
(21:49):
Visit our website the
btscenter.org
that's thebtscenter.org
Take Good Care my friends.
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