STOP betraying YOURSELF: How to Become Spiritually Mature

In this episode, our conversation centers on preference and how it could possibly indicate resistance to certain emotions and experiences. An emailed question prompts the discussion, inviting us to reflect on the functionality, or lack thereof, of our preferences. From preferring correct fuel for a car, to children preferring play over chores, our choices can depict a snapshot of our emotional and spiritual maturity.

We delve deeper into the concept of preference pointing out how it can be tied to our desires, feelings, and wants. How the choices we make, particularly those that lean towards immediate gratification, reveal the scope of our vision and emotional maturity. Indeed, with maturation comes the ability to see beyond immediate impulses and consider long-term impacts, leading to healthier decisions and lifestyle choices.

In this light, we address how our reactions, tantrums, and misplaced anger result from moments of minimized perspective and maturity. These episodes of frustration not only narrow our spirits but can indirectly harm our relationships with ourselves and others. Moreover, these instances highlight the need for us to truly know ourselves, not just intellectually, but also experientially.

Highlighting the long-term consequences of our short-term choices, this discussion invites a contemplation on the effects of self-destructive habits, the benefits of spiritual growth, and holistic maturation. From our disposition to overindulgence in junk food to expressing our disapproval vocally, this episode encourages us to take account of our daily actions. We are called to recognize the degree to which these actions impact our bodies and minds, thereby affecting the relationship with our selves.

Addressing the question of preference, this episode aims to orient our thoughts and emotions towards self-love, spiritual maturation, and a greater understanding of ourselves. As we come to terms with the possibility of a future iteration of ourselves, we are prompted to live in a manner that fosters self-love, respect, acceptance, and trust. It is in learning to cease betrayal of ourselves that we can evolve spiritually and emotionally, for a healthier and happier existence.

With available resources to facilitate this journey towards grounding and self-realization on our website, RichardLHink.com, this episode aims to aid viewers in living a fulfilling life while consciously moving towards a more enlightened future. Thank you for joining us in this enlightening discussion.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Good morning, everybody. I've got a question about preference,
which I'd like to share with you.
I think the question is well stated and very helpful if everybody could hear it.
And I believe I can share a perspective that you might find helpful and also
unusual, my perspective.

(00:22):
And so there's an email that I received, and it goes like this.
I have a question about preference. The word I've heard you use in several recent
TEM meditations when exploring different emotions has left me feeling a little confused.
Perhaps you can offer some clarity.
From my perspective, I feel that perhaps preference is a motivation of resistance

(00:45):
against certain emotions and experiences.
I can see that one way of living one's life is more functional than another,
similar to how putting petrol in a diesel engine car and ruining the engine
would be a dysfunctional action.
I suppose one could say that the car prefers to receive the correct fuel.

(01:07):
But then again, I'd imagine that a child or a pet would prefer to be loved and nurtured than abused.
Although, on the other hand, things we prefer may not actually be functional
and beneficial beneficial to our future selves,
I'd imagine the majority of children would prefer to gorge on ice cream and

(01:27):
fast food to eating their green vegetables. So I'm not sure.
I look forward to hearing your response if you are drawn to respond.
I believe the last, the statement towards the end end of this sentence,
of this question, shines a light really on the problem about children,

(01:52):
would prefer to gorge on ice cream and fast food to eating their green vegetables.
You see, preference is a subjective thing. It's according to your feeling,
your desire, what you want.
A child gorges on ice cream and fast food because the scope of their vision is narrow.

(02:13):
In a lot of ways, what maturity means is the enhancement or the enlargement of our scope of vision.
Our scope of perception. So an adult sees a child throwing a tantrum.
If we're mature as adults, we don't also throw a tantrum.
We don't throw a tantrum because it's narrow, it's small, it's not helpful.

(02:37):
We know it's narrow, small, and not helpful.
And therefore, because we know and have experienced and our spirits have developed
to a certain degree, have matured to a certain degree, generally speaking,
we don't throw tantrums.
However if we're being very honest even as adults do we not see other adults

(02:57):
throwing tantrums do we not also throw our own tantrums from time to time we
step our toe when we curse the universe,
this this smallness in that moment shows us how flexible in a sense we'll call our spirit is.
In that moment our attention narrows down to the smallest smallest point point,

(03:19):
our spirits become like a pea, and we get so angry and frustrated,
and we're cursing the universe, we're cursing ourselves for being so stupid,
or maybe when we're driving our car on the street, and someone cuts us off,
and we narrow down to this small,
angry being, and we throw a tantrum, it's not different than crying over spilled

(03:41):
milk, maybe the words we use, you know, sound justified,
but what really is happening? That idiot.
Have you not accidentally cut somebody off in your life? Have you not rushed someone? I know I have.
I know I have. And so in such moments,
instead of feeling morally superior to the idiot that cut us off,

(04:02):
we can expand our vision to notice the feeling of moral superiority and the
ickiness that it really is.
I mean, it's a kind to bullying and that comes from insecurity and it comes
from a small spirit not a gracious spirit,
now we're going to be very honest with ourselves much of our behavior much of

(04:24):
our thinking in life is self-destructive.
It is self-destructive maybe in the short term we get a benefit out of it it seems we get a,
dopamine high we feel strong but in the long term we've undermined our future self,
we've undermined our relationships we've underlying undermine trust for in the

(04:48):
relationship between our body and our mind our bodies won't trust our minds
and our bodies will start start rebelling.
Our minds won't trust our bodies.
We won't trust ourselves. We'll look in the mirror in those moments,
not of narcissism, not of self-grooming, but when we look to see the truth of ourselves,
when we drop away the defense mechanism, the guard, we may not like what we see.

(05:13):
We may feel shame for how small we are.
And so the question of preference will always be received differently from individual to individual.
A person with a very immature mind or immature spirit will prefer the immediate gratification.

(05:33):
The person with the mature spirit will see the long game, will see the big picture,
and they simply won't be so attracted because they see in the long game the
ramifications of the short-term choice,
which means self-destruction in the future.
That day, that future day will come, and they know it, and they know this through experience.

(05:55):
This is only intellectually understood. It's insufficient.
It seems that it requires knowing through experience.
I have known many extremely intelligent, genius-level IQ people in my life,
and many of them were not wise in this way.

(06:15):
They did not see the long-term ramifications of their choices and they were
overwhelmed by impulsive impulsiveness to eat this thing or that thing or to
buy this thing or that thing our iq doesn't solve that problem,
it's the largeness of spirit that takes us in a healthy direction a maturation

(06:39):
of spirit when we talk of the term spirituality,
spiritual growth, what this really means in practical terms is maturation,
true whole-bodied maturation,
to see the big picture and to cease or let's say betray ourselves less,

(07:01):
to harm ourselves less because we
love ourselves and because we know
the consequences of our decisions are certainly coming it's only when we have
the magical thinking that believes we can get away with something that we're
seduced by the immediate gratification now is the only thing that matters it

(07:24):
will have a future existence.
And what else matters in this moment is the
love you feel for your body that matters and that has immediate ramifications
if you treat yourself with respect if you treat the world with respect with

(07:45):
love with graciousness and clarity appreciation these things are obvious.
You will harm yourself less often you will support others harming themselves less often,
reminds me of when i was young and having
friends who wanted to get wasted what was

(08:07):
the purpose of wanting to get wasted well losing
control that was the purpose right rebellion
to say fuck it let's get
wasted they didn't feel so good
about being wasted the next morning now when
we were young we could tolerate that a lot better but once my body
got to about 28 getting wasted was no

(08:30):
longer an option the next day i was dysfunctional some people
could hold off longer i needed to develop the experience to realize that there
are true ramifications for getting wasted there are true ramifications to overeating
there are true ramifications to eating highly processed food.

(08:51):
There are two ramifications to lots of sugar and alcohol there are two ramifications
for self-absorbed love obsession there are true ramifications for gambling there
are two ramifications for speaking ill of people there are two ramifications
for disrespecting ourselves ourselves,
there are true ramifications for all the myriad forms of self-loathing we can partake in.

(09:17):
And what I see is if we truly love ourselves, which means spiritual maturation,
but we can't truly love ourselves without that spiritual ramification,
the reason being we don't see ourselves fully without spiritual maturation,
we don't see ourselves in the immediate as as well as through the timeline,

(09:37):
because we exist both in the present moment and in projection towards the future.
Why would you invest in your potential? Why would you educate yourself about
anything? Why would you learn to read?
Why would you learn to write? Why would you take care of your body?
Why would you eat anything?
Why would you drink anything if there were no future iteration of you both?

(10:03):
The fact that you're watching this video indicates you recognize there is a
future iteration of you that you are moving toward. And hopefully this video
will prove helpful to that future generation.
The question isn't about good and evil. I'm a good person if I eat healthy food,
and I'm a bad person if I eat unhealthy food.

(10:25):
We don't actually live in a Star Wars universe.
Instead, the question is about love, of respect, of acceptance,
of appreciation, ultimately, Ultimately, trust, true trust between the mind,
the daily window of perception,
your egoic sense of self, and the body, and the totality of reality.

(10:51):
It's about relationship. As all of these things play out in the moment and into the future,
are we living in such a way that we will respect ourselves more as we move forward
love ourselves more as we move forward,
respect accept appreciate trust all of that as

(11:12):
we move forward or are we living in a way that undermines that
possibility are we betraying ourselves
are we harming ourselves you
might ask that question more often
during your day and with that i'd like
to introduce you to my website richardlhink.com there

(11:33):
are 30 days of free tm meditation available there and there are many more advanced
courses if you want to learn about love respect acceptance appreciation and
trust if you want to learn to ground more thoroughly essential to ceasing to
betray betray ourselves. Grounding is the key.

(11:54):
If we want to live the fullness of our life right now, as it flows into the
future, I hope to see you there. Thank you so much.