Ep. 138 - Trench Of Forgotten Gods | DND404

Oh my, acid galore!

 

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CAST:

DM Tony - Tony

Armos Vanan - Jared

Minnis PebbleWalker - Dan

Drell of the Ashe Born - Alec

 

POST PRODUCTION:

Episode Director - Dan

SFX Editor - Tony

Music Editor - Dan

"DND404 Theme" by Roobski

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello, everybody, welcome back to D and D4 O four.
I am UDM Tony and joined with metoday the other three
inspirational quotes that I would put on my wall right next
to Live Life love starting with the Oh Jared.
What's going on guys? Almost checking in and my
inspirational quote, I actually listened to this for years

(00:20):
before I'd always start working out just to get you before I
actually was able to get in the routine of going to the gym.
And it's when you want to succeed as bad as you want to
breathe, then you'll be successful.
And it's this whole like story about a guru at a beach.
It's a whole thing. Look it up.
It's by Eric Thomas. He's a great inspirational
speaker. But what about you, Dan?

(00:44):
Hello everybody, my name is Dan.I play min as Pebble Walker.
You are tiny little swarm keeperRanger.
And my favorite quote is one of my favorite quote masters of all
time. It is Ralph Waldo Emerson, he
said. To know even one life has
breathed easier because you havelived this is to have succeeded.

(01:05):
Like often times we get caught in the minutiae of, you know,
materialistic side of success. And often times you forget
about, you know, the people around us that love us and that
appreciate us in this world. So never forget that of you,
Alec. My name is Alec.
I play Drill of the Ashbourne. And my favorite quote would have
to be most gamblers quit just before they hit a big, and that

(01:29):
is from a degenerate gambler that I know.
I'm just playing. Man is double Walker.
Yeah, man is double Walker. No, it had to be.
You missed 100 percent, 100% of the shots you don't take by
Michael Scott, Also by Wayne Gretzky.
What about you? No elaboration.

(01:51):
There's a a video I frequent from time to time when I'm down
on my slumps. This quote comes from maybe said
before, but by Les Brown. Don't let someone else's opinion
of you become your reality. It's a good quote.
I like to I like to listen to you every now and then.
He's a couple. He's like an inspirational
speaker. But here's a couple of good
stories that I think hit home pretty well.

(02:13):
So that's fine. And I didn't know the deal.
Before we do the recap, we're gonna go ahead and do the
rundown. Today's rundown that's brought
to you by J Man himself here. Ian, there's no following
statement out there. I don't know why I I didn't say
it's like that. All right guys, if you haven't

(02:34):
checked us out on Apple podcast,if you haven't checked us out on
Spotify, wherever you're listening to this what I want
you to do, hit hit a like button, hit the follow, give us
some feedback, leave a comment, whatever you can give us some
engagement, let us know that you're liking it and what we can
do to improve any of that will definitely help us out and let

(02:55):
us know you care and yeah Apple podcasts, Spotify, whatever
you're at leave a comment like subscribe all those things
we're. Trying to hit a billion
followers? Easy. 1 billion, we're we're
hard, we're plateaued at 900 million, yeah.
So that who knows the deal we'rewe're going to go ahead and roll

(03:17):
for the recap where I roll a giant foam D4 half eaten by my
bunnies. Where I am number 12 is Alex, 3
is Dan and four is Jared. I want you to do a big slow MO
windmill dunk. There you go.
That's where it starts in front of you, does a full circle
behind you, and then goes back into the hoop and one Did he

(03:39):
still miss the hoop? No, he got it it.
Looks like you missed it from the.
Got it it. Got in frame two, never gets in
frame. That's impressive.
No, throw it again. That didn't even look very good.
It's a. Two hey, it's.
A2. On the last episode at D&D 404,
the boys find themselves in the midst of combat against Cha
Kathron in his band of worms. Drell finally decides to slice

(04:02):
and dice his way out of the worm's belly.
Menace also makes his way back to the battlefield eventually
and decides to fight it out withCha.
Armos continues to start blasting all the worms that are
around him, and then after a little bit more combat, Drell
deals the final blow with the Nat 20.
As they further explore the dungeon, they come across a
bunch of holding cells with treeas Menace walks away or most

(04:26):
decides to do the humane thing and put them out of their
misery. Don't tell Menace drill drink
from the health fountain, And after a little bit more
exploring, they found a green door that smells like death
which Menace passed earlier. There was a Riddle to open the
door that led us discovering a few bodies including a Graph,
the Shapeshifter and Dilmore theBugbear from arc one, as well as

(04:51):
Adoram Beckford. We also found on the body of our
arch enemy Go Low, and that turned out to be the body we
needed to open the door. Once we open the door we all got
hit with a big waft of death that gave us some poison damage
and we found a giant hole in thefloor that looked like a mouth.
We decided to ascend to the bottom and then we took turns.

(05:12):
So Menace went first, then Armosin the drill.
We also were all able to take a short rest, and as Drill was
making his final descent, he wasbeing stared out by giant
eyeballs. And what do you know, we find
ourselves back in combat. Bard play that intro.
Good morning, good afternoon andgood evening and welcome to the

(05:35):
world of Humbrea, featuring three first time adventurers and
one very patient DM. This is D and D4 O 4 fellas
boyos, welcome to session 138 where we pick up in the pits of

(05:56):
despair the trench of forgotten gods.
As the three of you have descended down an organic flesh
like hole exceeding over a mile long in depth.
As you come down to a large cavernous organic room filled
with stomach bile and rot and acid.

(06:17):
And as drilled Mountain climbed his way down on jagged tooth and
rusted chain. A large tongue comes whipping
out one of the thin long caverns, missing Menace and
snatching up Armos, dragging himaway into the deep dark depths
of this cavern as Menace and Drell, two of you, are floating

(06:41):
down from the hole in the ceiling in serious concern and
looming danger. Staring at you is a large
eyeball with a tiny black iris with bloodshot pupil, and you
see that black iris becoming smaller and smaller as it looks
like it's focusing in on you with extreme anger and

(07:02):
prejudice. Menace drilled.
What are the two of you doing asalmost as whisked away?
Did we make it all the way down there?
Are we 30 feet up? 60 feet up?
Where are we? Yes, at the start of the
session, the two of you have made it to the fleshy, cavernous
floor. Oh my God.
With Menace, you're barely holding Drowl due to his extreme

(07:25):
weight. Menace, you can put me down now,
OK? In front of you, this giant
mound of flesh formed a hill, and in the hill, this eye bolt
reveals itself as it stares at you intently.
All right. I'll get Armos attack the eye
drill. You just want me to.
Hit this thing, I guess, OK. If it fights back, come for us.

(07:48):
OK. Minutes wants to start running.
Minutes. Go ahead and make a run action
and begin to dash. Let me know how far you're
traveling. Drill as you take out your axe.
We're going to move over to Armos.
How far are you moving? Minutes.
All right, I'm going to cast a third level, a Charlan Stride as
a bonus action as menace shouts at drill and flames erupt from

(08:11):
my feet and I take a dash action.
So Charlan Stride gives me an increase of 20 feet to my
movement, and I do not get opportunity attacked on, which
is nice. I'm going to go 35 feet to the
northeast past this eyeball. You see the eyeball shifts in
your direction, narrows in, and then shifts back to drill and

(08:32):
looks like he's just observing the two of you.
It takes 4 points the fire damage.
Oh, that starts initiative. Everybody roll me initiative.
Well, technically that's a sneakdeck. 15 through Elevens 15 net
20. Minutes as you charge down the
hall, dealing 4 points of fire damage to this eyeball that

(08:54):
starts initiative. Your, your go.
That was your action. Go ahead and make the rest of
your movement on this initiativeand then we're going to go to
Armos. Yep.
So there's the first primary movement and make it 55 more
feet to the northeast and end myturn as you just see a blaze
trailblaze. We're going to go ahead and move

(09:15):
to Initiative 20, which is Armosand the lair action.
But before we go into Armos's initiative menace, as you run
down the hall with blazing speed, you see the tail end of
Armos being dragged by this tongue.
Just every corner you turn you see him zip around the next
corner. Barely able to keep up.

(09:37):
Armos, you are dragged into thislarge cavernous room through
this tongue. As the tongue is coming out of
the floor and you see the flesh floor is opening and closing
where it's moving as if it's just one giant organic being.
And it lets you go and you go flying almost 100 feet into this

(09:58):
room. As you bounce off the fleshy
floor, you're going to take bludgeoning damage here.
As you're going to take some fall damage from that initial
attack, you're going to take 25 points of bludgeoning damage as
you are hurled into the room, into this wide, cavernous open
space with pits of acid that looks like stomach acid, smells

(10:21):
like rot and bile. You see the tongue slips back
down into the fleshy floor, closing up on top of it.
And you see in front of you, through the darkness of the
cavern, in the most northeasternparts of this cave, you see the
flesh beginning to mold in frontof you.

(10:42):
You see this massive mouth coming out of the wall, the same
tongue that drag you with these giant pillars of spiked teeth,
and one eyeball staring at you, bloodshot, with a small black
iris honing in on you. And it laughs in a guttural In a
guttural laugh your. Body will break and your blood

(11:07):
will. You're from your corpses eyes
shows gone perfection. And as it says the word
perfection, you see a wide smilebegin to grow wider and wider
and wider as you are staring at one of the profits that you see

(11:30):
on the bridge. You know, instantly recognizing,
with the chains coming through the wall and the acid dripping
from its mouth and floor, the giant hits of stomach file
sprouting up like little geysers.
This is Lord Zakhef, the prophetof flesh in the army.

(11:51):
You know this as the sea bricks.Prophets.
We move to Initiative 20, which is you Armos, as you are now
just getting up off the floor asReginald falls to your wayside
after being hurled into the middle of the room and he's
dusting himself also. Warriors, just please.
OK. Just to make sure that I'm

(12:12):
understanding what he looks like, does he have chains all
around him or the chains not part of the actual face of him
or the change, just part just all around?
They're all around, they're in the floor, they're in the walls.
That going through his face, yousee them hanging loosely.
You also see like toe chain links in the ground like
piercings. I'm going to get up after being

(12:33):
flung instantly see that guy andbe like Nope immediately Eldrick
blasted and then move 30 feet away from it as I try to get
back to the them boys. So I had to roll a hit as you
shoot an elgic blast towards theplace you all where one of its
eyes and mount as it's laughing at you and chopping its teeth.

(12:56):
25 to hit, it's 17. Misses.
How about in that one? Definitely misses.
And a 30, 22 points of damage. It's.
Slowed by 10 feet, it's pushed back 20 feet and I run 30 feet

(13:16):
the other direction. Guys, that'll be my turn.
We're going to stay on edition of 20, which is a layer action,
and you see that the mouth receives the LLG's blast and it
begins to murmur to yourself andit haunts you.
With so much spirit, so much waste.
I will fix this. Wow.

(13:39):
And he begins to shriek and warpand the tongue begins to
shrivel. As you are going to make a
Constitution saving throw over DC 20.
And a nine. On a failed save, you are now
poisoned. You also gain 1 level of
exhaustion while poisoned this way.
The target must repeat the saving throw at the start of

(14:00):
each of its turns. Three successful saves ends the
poison, and ending the poison removes any levels of exhaustion
caused by it. Each failed save by the target
adds another level of exhaustion.
And you're going to roll me AD 100?
Oh hell yeah. Loot table.
Let's go. 72. 72. That's my favorite number.

(14:20):
As you begin to run, you begin to swell.
As you begin to blow up and get fatter and fatter and fatter,
you will now triple your weight.You are fat or most?
You're bubbling boil. Mixing up I will make you bigger
and fatter and larger. As it begins to you continue to

(14:43):
taunt you, so you now have a level of exhaustion and you are
poisoned. We're going to move to
initiative 15 minutes. What would you like to do?
All right, I'm going to go 55 feet with my movement and then
dash with an action and go another 55 feet as I make it to

(15:07):
the thinning part of this tunnelleading into this big room.
And I think I bare. I think I barely see Armos in
the distance. I'm coming, Armos.
Does he sound different? Is that him?
You see Reginald Armos. You also say that Reginald is

(15:29):
mimicking your body weight, and you see that Reginald is also
really, really fat. You see that he wobbles towards
you. And then there's nothing else
that I care to do with a bonus action, so all in my turn is I'm

(15:50):
running towards him. As you move to Jerell's
initiative. Nice.
OK, so Jerell is going to just kind of look at the eyeball and
look up at the hallway and then look at the eyeball and then
look back the hallway minutes took off in.
He's going to just say, well, OK, I guess we'll we'll see if
this works and Jarrell's just going to pull out his axe and

(16:12):
he's just going to try to hit the eyeball.
That is going to be a 26 to hit.Nice.
It's going to be a 21 to hit. It's and lastly a 29 to hit.
Oh, and while Jarrell's doing his calculations, I made a
slight mistake. It's not a layer action, it was
a legendary action. It did the war.
My mistake. Legendary action not.

(16:32):
Layer action. Hey man, I appreciate if you're
going to talk during my tourniquet.
It's totally valid valid. It's a valid request. 76 damage.
Oh my Lord, you slash across hiseye as you see a nasty gas go
from corner of the corner and you see that it begins to squint

(16:53):
almost. You hear the mouth shriek in
horrific pain. The three of you feel the walls
into shake and rumble, menace. The hallway that you're in
immediately tightens in pain andsquashes up against you.
You're going to make me a Constitution saving throw of ADC
18 as the walls smashed togetherfor a moment.

(17:16):
As they constrict the deck sail,what's the save?
18. Oh my God of 20 unnatural.
You will take half. Thank.
Goodness. Half of 26 bludgeoning damage
and you hear this last breaking shriek.
The SIDS kind of blocked me fromsome of the damage.
I'm like. Oh, thanks guys.

(17:38):
You see some of the SIDS like Pebble off you.
It's going to take a legendary action at the end of your turn
drill. You see that as it shrieks a
little tiny vein comes out of the ground with a with a whole
the end of it and it spits on you.
Make me a Dexterity savings overDC 20.
Just because it gets a real piece with advantage 22.

(17:58):
Take no damage as it misses you.Parkour.
A lob of mucousy bile shoots past you, and it smells
horrific. Oh my God.
And we're going to move to Initiative 7, which is the
creature. And you see as this eye shrieks
in pain, you see that it forms back underground into the fleshy
floor. We're going to go back to the
main cavern. As Fat Armos is walking away,

(18:21):
you see that the main face that appeared seeps back into the
wall and before you as you run towards the entrance of which
you were dragged in, you see this massive mouth or rough and
you see you see another eye appear out of the wall from the
eastern side of The Cave. And it looks like the eye is

(18:42):
being protected by another mouth.
That's going to be its movement as you see chains begin to come
out of the floor and its mouth almost you're going to get
attacking me against you, a natural one.
Again, we're doing this. A second attack is going to be
made against you. A second natural one.
Wow, are you? Serious, right?

(19:02):
Now. Are you serial right now?
OK. And for it's third attack a 20?
4. That hits.
And this is going to be 22 points of force damage as a
chain. You see all these chains, like
pillars come from different angles on the ground.
And then one burst out in front of you as it uppercuts you, it

(19:22):
goes and connects to the ceilingand it seeps back through the
ceiling as it disappears. You take 22 points of force
damage. That is going to be the end of
its turn is now there's this giant mouth in front of you
blocking your way as is like it looks like a hill with teeth
coming out of it. If you move to initiative 20,
almost. OK.
Remember, you're dangerously overweight right now.
You are big fat. Doesn't hinder me because you

(19:46):
can live a normal lifestyle likethat.
Absolutely, but mechanically youare triple your weight.
So if there's any spell that deals with weights, let's triple
that with however you manipulateyourself.
And what did the to the the mouth that's in front of me came
up and hit me is what you're. Saying so, it appeared before
you, but chains came out from the ground and through the

(20:06):
mouth, attacking you three times, and one of them hit.
Oh, maybe a Constitution saving throw on your turn. 15.
Bail DC 20 Constitution We're going to take another point of
exhaustion. Here, Fuck I was going to die.
I need to get the. Legacy speeds Haft OK, I am
going to run to the side of him which doesn't shouldn't take an

(20:28):
opportunity attack. So I'm kind of shuffle around
him. There's pits of acid all over
the place and I shuffled to the South side of him.
I think I'm going to misty step away from him, closer to the
southern part of the room. Where?
Closer to the entrance, but awayfrom the guy.
Sure. Hold on Reginald.
Here we go. I'm.

(20:48):
Coming, you head South and you go between this giant Cavendish
pit of stomach acid and bile andit's magnificent hill of a moth
and you misty step in between him to try to gain some safety.
We're gonna move to initiative 15 minutes after just being
crushed from the closed in wall.Regaining your composure, you

(21:09):
see our most deep in the room running room size as he is
largely oversized in this giant mock that looks like it's
chasing after him, roaring into the cavern.
I run 55 feet more fire coming in and I run in and I see this
giant mouth and I see this big horned creature and I yell.

(21:30):
Are you OK, Sir? Have you seen my friend Ormos
come in here? It's me.
What? What happened to you?
Oh, my goodness. You should rub some of that
special. Ointment we have on you.
You look terrible. What ointment we have the.

(21:51):
Ointment, Sir. The restorative ointment that we
got back, it works out anyways. I'm going to sling some bullets
at this guy. Oh man, wow.
I mean I knew it all along. I'm a genius DM, yes.
I'm going to attack this guy with my sting bullets.
So that is going to be kind of low.

(22:16):
That's going to be a 19. Oh, thank goodness.
And the other one's higher than that, so that also hits.
Do you want to know it's a 22 isgoing to be 18 + 11 is 29 points
of force damage and I'm going tohave my SIDS move me 5 feet
further into the room as they all pop up from this fleshy

(22:37):
floor and they will give me partial cover.
I'm going to use a bonus action spell.
I am going to use my last first level slot to cast healing word
on Armos as he gets 7 points a health bag.
Oh. My gosh, 7 points.

(23:00):
As I end my turn, get over here buddy.
As you end your turn you feel like you're being stared at as
the eye on the eastern wall narrows in as you see that it's
yours becomes triangular, then square, then circle again.
As you are going to make me a Constitution savior.
Throw with DC 20 as you feel themolecules inside your body to

(23:22):
get you shipped and shaped differently.
As the mouth in the center of the room screams at you.
Use and rise children. Be born again in agony.
This is not going to go well forminutes.
Oh my goodness. A. 22 You feel as your body

(23:43):
begins to ship and shape as you pass.
So lucky. That's such a small chance to
pass that you. Think that just for a moment
you, your vision blurs as you saw like your your body shaped
in your in your minds eye where like your hand became a crab
claw and like your foot became like the the thin of a dolphin.

(24:04):
And then you snap out of it and you are completely fine and you
feel like this faint glow about you.
You are immune to this feature moving forward.
That won't work on me. I'm a holy son of a minotaur.
Impossible. Impossible.
I would have rolled a 95, by theway.

(24:25):
All right, Drill. Now we move through drills,
initiative, staying on it, staying on Initiative 15, we
move to drill. Is the eye still in the room
with me it? Is not.
OK, so it's safe to say this room is empty?
Yes, Brad. Yeah, it's the weird the way he
said. All right, so I am, I'm going to

(24:46):
pull out one of my quick Thistle.
It's actually my last one, my quick Thistle brew, and I'm
going to drink it. It gives me 15 extra feet of
movement per hour. So now I am at 45 feet and I'm
going to take a dash action downthe hallway 90 feet to try to
catch up to Armos and Menace. Go into this thin hallway and

(25:11):
feel it. You see it warble and pulsate as
you go through, as you feel likeas if the tunnels reacting to
your footsteps. You see all these little pockets
of bile and stomach acid deep within the Cavitus Organic
puddle. I'll bonus action move the plus
three attack to +3. AC At the end of your turn you
see one of these veins pop out and begin to osay green and then

(25:35):
spurt another spray of bile at you.
Go ahead and make another Dexterity Savory Throat DC 20.
To not get my indominals back ata short rest that is a six.
You're going to take 33 points of acid damage.
Ow, we move to initiative 7, which is Gloria Soccer, and it

(25:56):
is going to scream and cause a fuss.
It shouts into the room. Oh, Crystal speaks to me to see
you and screams and I, I am as quiet.
You see all these veins come outin chains Minutes.
You're going to take two attackshere, Natural 20 on a chain
attack. Don't do that.

(26:18):
Yeah, don't do that. Let's do that one first for
damage. That's going to be 45 points of
force down the first attack. The second attack is going to be
a 19. No miss, thank goodness I moved
myself. I was debating.
Because yes, so you have partialcover here.
Cool, that's from your SIDS, right?

(26:39):
That's why your is cool. And then our most you're going
to take the third chain attack, which is a 19 a hit that's going
to deal 44 points of force damage.
You're going to make the Dexterity Savage row with DC 20
as the mount squirts and spews bile on.
You. That's going to be 29 points of
acid as it spits on you and we're going to move to your

(27:03):
initiative almost where you're going to make the another
constitution saving throughout. This other region 21.
You pass, you do not gain a level of exhaustion, but you are
still poisoned. 2 more and it stops.
Wait, and this thing is still inthe middle of the room the.
Mouth is in the middle of the room, yes.
Perfect. I am annoyed that I'm getting

(27:24):
exhaustion and I just want to spread the love, so I'm going to
cast Sickening Radiance on the mouth that showed up in the
middle of the room. It has to make a Constitution
saving throw of ADC 19, so go ahead and roll that for me.
It rolled a 16 but it's going touse a legendary resistance and
choose to pass How? Fucking.

(27:44):
Dare you? This OK?
That's OK. Absolutely deserting.
Good news is that it stays thereand it's going to be 30 feet and
every turn he's going to have tomake that unless he moves his
sorry, but. So when a creature moves into
the spell area for the first time or it starts it's turn

(28:05):
there, so on it's turn it will have to do it again, the
creature must do the Constitution saving through.
OK, so if it does pass, it doesn't take any damage.
So I'm going to use the rest of my movement to try to run away.
Heavy shuffle over towards Menace as I'm trying to get down

(28:26):
that hallway that he came from. Go ahead and make me another
Dexterity saving though with DC 20 as another bile of spit
screws, I usually takes a legendary action.
I got a 19 but I'm gonna use dark ones Luck.
Okay, so that's an automatic pass.
Yeah, and it doesn't take no damage as the spew goes past you

(28:48):
and we're gonna move to initiative 15, which is minutes
almost. Use the ointment.
And I'm gonna. I've got a plan, Okay, Revenge
is my plan. I wouldn't go back that way, I
say to almost as I point into the thin hallway.
And just so we're not in like the same area, I'm gonna run 55

(29:11):
feet to the north, maybe drawinga little more attention to me
instead of almost. You never know.
And shoot some sling bullets at them.
That's going to be a 22 and a 29.
Those both hit. As I hit it with sling bullets,
I also notice in that direction an eyeball, yes at the far end

(29:32):
of the room, staring at me. That's.
Where Yes, Remember, remember. Was it trying to warp you?
Yeah, my. Leering through the darkness.
And with the bonus action, I will do nothing.
I'm enamored of this eyeball on the other side of the room.

(29:53):
As this eyeball, it blinks at you by the mouth closing around
it and stares at you as you stayon Initiative 15 and move to
drill. Drill is going to take another
dash action and continue down the hallway and then another 90
feet and he's just going to keep, you know, come on, Drill
put a little hustle in it, like kind of just trying to hype

(30:14):
himself up. And he is, yes, just going to
continue his way down the hallway.
At the end of your turn, you seethat trailing behind you, trying
to sneak up on you, is the tongue from before.
Oh my God. Man, it's from your perspective.
You see the tongue like swallowsin the massive mouth that you're
staring at and appears behind. Drill.

(30:37):
Drill make me a Dexterity, Savings, Growth, or Acrobatics.
Is going to please don't you save it for us.
It's a 19. OK, you beat a -2 you see that
the tongue tries to grab you outfrom the darkness and you jump
over it as this tongue is looks like it's chasing you as we move

(30:59):
to initiative 7, which is the foul creature.
So at the end of its turn, it needs to make those savage ways,
right? Almost.
When the creature moves into thespell area for the first time or
it starts its tongue. OK, A roll of 25 for a
constitution saving through. You see that the mouth seeps
back into the floor. The eyeball seeps back into the

(31:20):
wall. You see the eye.
Another eyeball appears in the northern end of the room.
I know that eyeball. And then almost in the original
position towards the northeastern part of the room,
is the giant mouth and eyeball again, the one that was
originally talking to the armorsas it snaps its teeth and roars.

(31:41):
And then it's going to make a series of attacks as chains
burst through the floor. One's going to come after Drell.
Oh God. 16 to miss, One goes after menace for 25 to hit.
That's going to be 15 points of force damage.
The one goes after Armos with a 29 to hit and that's going to be

(32:01):
30 points of force damage. That one rolled really high.
Menace make me a dexterity saving throw over DC. 20 as a
bio. Spit that shot at you.
He's just ruined my life 22. You pass as it spews behind you,
as you feel the ground warble, as the sickening radiance begins

(32:22):
to seep into that area and you notice that the giant pits
beside you Armos as it moves to your initiative, begin to bubble
and boil next to you as the caverns down below.
So you can be reactive to something as you move to
initiative. 20 Armos. Well now that it's gone I was
really excited to do something but this is frustrating so I

(32:45):
take menaces advice and use restorative ointment which gives
me two D 8 + 2 hit points but itcures poison and any disease
that I have. So here's what's gonna happen.
You are no longer poisoned, you keep your current 2 levels of
exhaustion, and you are still tripled your weight.

(33:06):
Do I make the Constitution saving throughout the beginning
of my turn at the end? Beginning.
So I got a nine for this turn, which isn't gonna work.
So then insert ointment. So Arma sits there and
vigorously rubs ointment all over his.
You feel it's laser focus zoom in on you almost as it's going
to cast a spell as a legendary action.
You're going to make me a charisma saving throw of ADC 21.

(33:32):
23. I.
Can't break my mind. You pass as it as it tried to
cast whole monster. You are not paralyzed but you
feel it's our king tendrils. Try to seek into your mind for a
second as attempted to paralyze you as you move to initiative.
15 minutes. Actually, I'm also just trying
to break your ribs as I move. I'm just going to go 55 feet to

(34:00):
the north and start attacking the eyeball.
I recognize you. I saw you back in the other room
and I roll the headed 16. Oh, children of maggots, up to
his greatness. Goodness 16 and 15.
Those both miss rough as it bounces off it's calloused skin

(34:22):
around the eyeball. Stay over there, I'll come get
you. And I'll in my turn, actually as
a bonus action, I guess I shoulduse a potion.
I'll do that. So I'm going to use a potion of
greater healing. And make me a Dexterity saving
over DC 20. This more spit comes at you 17

(34:43):
you're going to fail as you take28 points acid damage as you are
spewed as you stay on initiative15 and go to drill.
All right, after just dodging the tongue drill's just going to
yell at the tongue. Stay away from me.
And he's going to keep Sprint sprinting 90 feet.

(35:04):
It warbles. At you, Yeah.
So I can just about make it to Armos.
So I just run up to Armos and I just say Armos.
What the heck is going on? Don't judge me.
Oh my God, Armos, I keep tellingyou you need to wake up early
with the Menace and I and you need to start doing the

(35:24):
workouts. This is.
What's going on? I put the.
Ointment on and I'm still rubbing it all over my my like
arm still has some some flab on it that I'm rubbing it on.
These are some high calorie gay.And what else you doing on your
turn? I think that.
Is. It right now, yeah, at.

(35:44):
The end of your turn you feel it's gays focusing on you as you
were going to make me a constitution saving through with
DC 20 as you feel your body begins to shape and shift and
move. Into 23 you will feel.
Yourself looks like your hands are about to blow up like
balloons and then come to as yougrip a tight fist as you are now

(36:05):
immune to this ability. Nice.
As we move through this shift, which is.
More success. We were called glory for the
remainder of this fight. Each of you are going to take a
chain attack as chains burst through the floor.
Drill 27 to hit Armos Nat Nat 20.
Oh me. Menace 26.

(36:25):
Let's do drill first. I burned my reaction with my
Dragon's tail and I now have 32 AC so misses. 32 AC that's
that's a mess. So we're going to go to minutes
because we're going to do that last minute.
You're going to take 20 points of force damage.
This chain whacks you across theface and Armos.

(36:46):
You were going to take that almost kind of low 44 points of
force damage. Kind of low.
Chain comparatively to what it could have been.
You see that as a Chicago Chainsrises up and slams down when you
look at crushing buildings. All right, I'm going to use
Hell's Rebuke. Yeah.

(37:08):
Whoa. He's not in range, though.
Well. Cool.
This Rachel's like huffing to puffing and it's going to make
one last attack. It's going to spit at drill.
Drill make it cost Dex 30 savings from DC 20.
You're just mad because they dodged first one that's 16. 33

(37:31):
points of acid damage, sort of spit gives a seat under the
plane. Stop spitting, Abby.
No and. Then going to move to the shift
20 armos how you feeling? That great, I got them right
where I want them. Just to make sure I understand
this. So the eyeballs are at the very
end, north of us and east of us,basically.

(37:53):
Yeah. Remember that giant cavernous
open space that you wanted, thatyou asked for and they gave to
you? Yeah.
Yeah, this is it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great. Perfect.
See. Got you where I wanted you.
I didn't hear no bell. Right, I am going to bonus
action drink potion First off. Go call.

(38:15):
Go call. So I'm going to go ahead and do
that one. Good move, Good move.
Big brain. Like Family Feud over here with
a like good answer. Yeah, except when it's not a
good answer to what the fuck andthey still got to be supportive.
I got 24 life back. Name a name that starts with an

(38:38):
H Jose. Yeah, the family's coming.
I would roast my family members so hard.
I would. Never let that person ever live
that down. I am going to use a spell that
I've been saving in my back pocket and I feel like it's

(38:59):
about that time and I bust out my book.
I flip to the one of the final pages in the book and cast True
Polymer on myself. What are you turning into?
Armos feeling very exhausted, overweight, and bloodied.

(39:21):
Armos, who's exhausted, bloodied, and even furthermore
super overweight, is now really at his last wits of about him.
He flips through the back of thepage of his book and casts True
Polymorph to summon himself intoAB Baylor.

(39:41):
Demon, Yeah. I'm not big about anymore.
I've got wings, I've got a kind of lightning long sword, and I
have a made of fire. You see as you transform into
this fierish hellish demon from Averness, as your fire whip

(40:05):
crackles and snaps into the cavern cave, as the flesh walls
and floor are singed from its mighty ferocious fiery roar.
The Glor speaks negotiable beautifully.
I shall keep your skin warm for its next spawn as you.
Transform it to something even beautiful.

(40:28):
Do I get my turn as this or was I'm assuming not?
Because no, that is ruthless, your action.
OK, can I move? Yes, got 80 feet of it.
And I get to move as this guy. Yes, you have 40 feet of speed
and you have fly of 80 feet. So I'll fly 80 feet N to the

(40:50):
eyeball. What is that?
Yeah, drill runs in. Hey, Armos.
Oh my God, it's just season. Just polymorphin fly away.
Reginald heavily climbs up to drill shoulder drill you feel
significant weight on your shoulder as fat.
Reginald 6 days he's. Beautiful.
I've never been more proud. As I'm flying towards the the

(41:16):
eye, I give him give Reginald thumbs up and point to the wings
on my back. I remember mine first sick.
Yeah. How many does he have?
Is 2? I was sick.
And then laying with a chunk chunk.
As he moved to addition to 15 minutes.
All right, moving 55 feet up to this eyeball, maybe, maybe we

(41:39):
get closer said we can hit it easier.
And I guess just to see if this does anything, I'm going visible
with a bonus action. So minutes as you go invisible,
you see the eye not only still trained on your location, you
feel it as you see iris. And I don't think this is
working. Okay, let's attack.

(42:04):
As you see more blood rush into the white.
I don't. Think you like that?
That's going to be a 21. It's. 24 because it takes 14 to
17. Oh, that's 31 points of force
damage, as the SIDS are also going to do another three points

(42:25):
of force damage. As you see the eye reacts you
see the whole cavern squishes in, nobody is crushed but it
gets like 30 feet tighter and then begins to unload and you
notice at the center of the rooms the two acid pits were
clenched together and then erupt.
Everybody make me a dexterity saving throw of ADC 20 as acid

(42:49):
is spewed like a geyser from. These mouths Nat 20.
Menis salutes. I got a dirty 20.
I guess I get +2 for the Dexterity.
Anyone who fails, which I think is just menis, takes 37 points
of acid damage as you're a completely soaking bio is the

(43:15):
eye regains consciousness. I'm gonna use a reaction then,
and I'm gonna use a second levelabsorb elements to have that.
Does acid fall? Sure.
Does it absorb elements? Correct.
Finally, you're always using poison and I can never use.
This. That's the one, Yeah.
Yeah, OK. Finally, you're like acid.
I was like. Thank goodness I tried to absorb
acid like an asshole. Absorb element.

(43:38):
That's good. That's good.
Oh man, that's gonna help a little.
Cool, cool. I mean, hey, listen, look how to
you as you absorb the acid as wemove through initiative, stay on
initiative 15 drill. OK, looking around, is there
anything for me to drill smash like, you know, something like a

(44:01):
tentacle or tongue or? What you can see visibly because
this room is so large that even the darkness of like the walls
are blocking out some things in your vision.
OK, so you just see that one eyeball all the way at the end,
but I'll give you this for free.I noticed that every time it
makes a movement, it just completely changed the.

(44:23):
Position. Am I still standing on like the
fleshy ground? Yes, this whole area is made of
flesh. OK, a drill looks at his accent,
looks at the ground, and he shrugs and just says worth a
shot. And he just tries.
He just tries to hit the ground.Roll for damage, roll for.
Just roll for damage. It's gonna hit the ground.
You can't miss it. Wait, the sickening rate it

(44:44):
should have hit then too it. Was going to do you drop?
That's 82 damage. 82 points of damage.
As you're slashing into the ground, you see that the blood
like this blackened blood is like spewing up at you with each
hair, like you're trying to chopa tree down or weakly ground
like a Jackass or wood. You feel like you're doing

(45:06):
something as hard as you're hitting.
You don't think it's as impactful as it should be, but
you definitely feel like it's doing something as the floor is
like shaking, almost like a water bed beneath the heat.
OK, Yeah, that's what that and that I think it's going to be my
turn we're. Going to move to initiative 7
which is lore as the eye in the corner that was bloodshot on

(45:28):
menace after being shot seeps back, the face in the back gains
it's second eyeball back and seeps back in.
And then you see in the South most part of the room an eyeball
appears and drill beneath your feet in massive opens like a
trap door. Make me a Dexterity saving throw

(45:51):
as you are falling into this massive hole.
Of. Teeth.
And that the saving throw. But thanks man.
Teeth. Oh, he says teeth is the saving
throw. I'm sorry.
Dexterity saving throw with BC 18.
We're not still blessed, are we?OK, I'm gonna have to.

(46:12):
Do I have any luck points left? That's a great question.
I do not. Damn, it's at 15.
You fall real deep as you fall deep.
Deep down. And the mouth shuts.
Oh God, this I have feelings. Not good.
I rolled low, take 46 points of piercing down as the mouth slap

(46:36):
shut and molds back into the ground.
Oh my God. Armos and Menace do not see
Drill on the map is out of you and the mouth goes back into the
ground. Minutes.
You're going to make me a Dexterity saving throw with
DC-20. Armos is going to take 3 chain
attacks. 12. A31 to hit Wow, a 32 to hit and

(47:00):
a 18 in this first text is goingto do 29 points of force damage
and an additional 13 points of force damage.
And then you hear the and then you hear from guttering as the
whole. Area shakes.
So tasty, so tender and new. I will reshape him in his image

(47:21):
and add him to the endless onslaught.
As you feel like he's savoring drill as we move to Initiative
20. Almost.
It's Baylor. Thank you.
Baylor Autos. I'm going to fly to the eyeball
to the South with my 80 feet of movement as Baylor slams down

(47:43):
onto the ground or a emanating fire all around him.
He's going to then take a whip attack.
Multiple whip attacks from a 30 feet reach.
Wow. Goodness.
Which is just in range of this stupid eyeball.
It says I get plus 14 to hit, which was be a 21.

(48:04):
OK. And then the second hit you.
Can only do one with A tag. What why I have multi attack?
One with its long sword and one with its width.
Oh Yep, you're right 100%. OK, so just the 1.
So it does 32 points of damage slashing and then 12 points of
fire. As you slash through the eye it

(48:26):
immediately bursts. Oh, as you are covered or the
actually the spew lands just before you.
Can we, can we do the second part of it being even cooler
because I actually get to pull it?
Yes. So I whip the eye and actually
it gets tangled behind the the eyeball and I RIP it out in

(48:46):
front of it and I pull it towards me 25 feet.
The connecting part of the eyeball is actually a chain
wrapped in sinew as it's being dragged from the wall and break
it and the chain blow completely.
And as the eyeball pops we are going to take make ADC, you're
going to make the Constitution say we throw DC 2020. 3.

(49:08):
Oh, it doesn't matter, because Baylor's are immune to poison
damage. Yeah, they are.
Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are.
And immune to the poison condition.
I just sit there and with when it gets whipped to me I just
grab it with the two claws that I have and just RIP it apart and
just roar out. We're going to move to

(49:31):
initiative 15 minutes. All right.
And move 55 feet into the centerof the cavern.
Grow, grow. No, no, I'm going to.
That's the bonus action to make my flail go on fire, and then
I'm just going to tag the groundout of anger.
As you attack the ground out of anger, you see this drell shaped

(49:53):
lump being rapidly dragged as he's being pushed.
As he's being dragged through the body, a little fat lump
follows behind us as Reginald isbeing dragged through as well
because he was on his shoulder. As I do 11 points of bludgeoning

(50:19):
damage and 12 points of fire damage, I don't know if it's
even doing anything. And then the second attack is
doing eight points of bludgeoning, 9 points of fire
damage, and it's now burned if it can be burned.
Notice that the fire immediately.
Goes down at the track. As we move to Initiative 15, you

(50:39):
are being sicked and zapped through these arteries as asthma
is spilling all over you as you're being twisted and
contorted. You are being moved at rapid
speeds as you feel like you're being digested through a
stomach. You're going to lose action as
you feel something Pierce your body almost like a sword through

(51:00):
the gut. Make me a constitution saving
through over EC20. 29. Paul Baby.
You pass as you feel as if a limb was something sharp was
trying to poke through you but does not latch.
You get the half of 19 points piercing damage here as we're
going to move to initiative 7, which is galore.

(51:21):
And a screaming face erupts fromthe ground as the walls tremor
as you see that one of its eyes is now sealed, stitched shut
with with chains acting as the stitches as one of the eyes
bulging out of its body as you see drill gets launched from its

(51:44):
mouth. Oh God, Drill.
You're going to take an additional 17 points of
bludgeoning damage as you will hurl across the room as you are
knocked up against the wall. So I'm on the north side now.
Yes, you are on the north side of this cavern, somewhat near
menace as this face and single eye reveals itself.

(52:05):
No refresh the opportunity. I am protected.
I am the idea of Malcolm Nation of this image.
It's going to make its attacks almost you're going to take the
three chain attacks as it sees you as the biggest threat right
now. You're damn right he does.
That's 23 to hit. It's a 19.
It's on. The money.
And that's A and that's a 33. All three of those are going to

(52:27):
hit 53 points of force damage asall these chains whip and slap
of you across the phase as they first from the ground, come from
the walls and the ceiling. And then Menace is going to make
me a Dexterity saving throw the DC 20.
Well, maybe I'll finally pass it.
No, no, I will not pull the 14. No.
No 30 points of acid damage reaction.

(52:49):
Fucking reaction, Yeah. Tiny bulb spit gets right in
your eye. Oh my goodness, yeah, I'm going
to use my last second level spell, slam my SIDS like spin
like a blender and get some of the acid off with like just fast
motion. At the end of it certain you see

(53:12):
a a pudgy Reginald come out as you move to initiative 20.
Almost. Almost bloodied from the the
last eye gets slammed with threethings of damage from the chains
and immediately Cox's head lockseye with the enemy and then he's
like, I'm coming for that one. It flies right over to the

(53:34):
amalgamation that's in front of him and he's going to do his
multi attack. It's.
One whip and one sword. It would be the fucking coolest
thing if I create right now. OK, I'm going to just roll a
regular D20 and then offer. This will be the long sword.
So if this crits, Oh my God it. Was fucking.

(53:55):
Like I'm just going to put in general chat just to put those
listening. I'll explain it.
It looked like it was going to be a crit, but it would turned
out to be an 8. So you know, hey, when that
happens. I got so excited.
OK so it 22 to hit for the long sword.
The other is a 20 to hit. We'll both hit.
All right, so the long sword damage is going to be 24

(54:18):
slashing and 11 lightning, so a total of 35.
Almost. Finisher.
Oh my goodness. Yes, I fly up and take my sword
and kind of holding it from the back end of my hand and using my
other hand to slam the sword into the last eyeball that's

(54:39):
there as the sword just electrocutes and fries the what
do you, what do we call this? The amalgamation that's in front
of me. He then takes his whip and
lasso's what he can from his tongue and rips the whole thing
out and then plops right down infront of Drell.
And then as Baylor sits there and walks away from it, he
points at the tongue that's laying there and then gives

(55:03):
Drell a thumbs up. Returns one as he's laying on
the ground. And this looks around, panting.
You see as the mouth begins to dribble and gravel as it's
trying to deny the terms that are coming to be.
Is it you clean but I please I? Can I say something to it as

(55:23):
it's dying? Yeah.
Walk up to it and as it's slowlymelting into the ground and go,
oh look at that, all your flesh parts galore.
You've been sitting on that one since the beginning.
You know I have. It's like your name, but it's a
word and. I flip him off as he's getting,

(55:47):
as he's going into the ground, as you deliver that amazing pun,
you're going to inspiration die next, yes?
Nice, there it is. Knocked prone onto the floor in
the north side of the chain cavernous room and almost in
Baylor formed, breathing devilishly among above him.
As you deliver the final blow, the pupil of the eye explodes

(56:11):
into a plume of acid and mucousyrots.
The coagulated bile singes and burns like screaming oil.
Everyone make me Dexterity savior of DC 20 as acid is
spewed everywhere. This is the one.
This is the one I make. I have a + 10 dirty 2027.

(56:35):
My goodness. Is this magical?
No. This isn't a magical effect.
No, this is it's body. I got a four.
You take 27 points of acid. Damage.
I'm actually using his wings as an umbrella is how I escaped.
I was bathing in it that I realized it wasn't poison.

(56:57):
I'm like. That's great.
A moment of silence falls upon the a slowly pulsating Tavern,
and then you notice something moving.
As the sloshing of bile begins to rise more and more, higher
and higher, you feel that the ground and the green cracks

(57:18):
within the fleshy floor begin tooverwhelm Cavitus.
Room rumbles and wobbles as the flesh walls seizure and pain.
As the broken mouth of glory begins to mutter and tongues in
between the shrieks of pain and the chains of flesh begin to
burst like an over flooding pipes of acid and rot, bile

(57:41):
begins to flood the room. It will not be long until it
fills. I immediately drink a health
potion as my action. Given the current situation,
there was an escape mechanic here.
Oh wait, no, it still. Is we have armos flash out?
That's absolutely what I'm. Doing Cue the heavy metal as

(58:01):
they jump on my back and I startflying and we escape out of this
place. Here's what's going to happen,
because Armos is incredibly is is pretty fast almost.
Why don't you go ahead and role play on how or what your next
action is as this room is beginning to fill with acid
bile. Now Armos, as you turn around

(58:22):
after bathing in the acid, you see me running towards you like
drinking a health potion as an action.
Oh my God, Oh demon. Armos, demon armos.
I need uppies. I mean, pick me up.
I'm an adult. Well.
Baylor goes like Baylor Armos isvery like just raging.

(58:44):
But then as soon as he says uppies, he kind of like just
take it back. Like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
absolutely. And he puts them on his shoulder
like he would Reginald. Bro dash over here.
I'm coming, don't forget me and Drove runs over to him.
Wait, where's Reginald? You just see a Bunny that's like

(59:04):
essentially just a giant ball with ears sticking out.
Pick up Reginald, who happens tobe right right next to me, and
then fly and scoop up drill as we start to ascend upwards.
I'm praying on his back. I'm like holding onto his demon
hair. I'm praying like dear me Laura,
please protect us. Dear me Laura.
Please protect us. I know I'm flying on a demon.

(59:25):
Please forgive me. Please protect us.
As you begin to run through the tunnels because the air
incredibly tight, you see that all all over the walls,
everything's bursting like pipes.
Acid is spewing out. We're actually going under like
a civic waterfalls to try to make it to that cab it is and
just it is burning and singing. Every part of you is to try to

(59:46):
protect and make it through these tight puddles, stepping in
acid and tripping over chains, trying to burst through as
you're slashing with their long sword and trying to pull
yourself further with your firing whip.
And you finally go to that. 60 foot hole in diameter in the
ceiling entrance cavern in whichyou aim down in as acid begins

(01:00:09):
to flow completely covering the floor.
And you fly up and you fly up and you keep going as the tunnel
begins to clench in on itself. As the blender of teeth the
drill took to descend downward flows in tighter and tighter.
Make it out into a tiny room in comparison.
As Baylor Armos, you hurt yourself up onto the ledge as

(01:00:33):
you have escaped this hole. As you hear the warm air, the
acid spewing, coming in from allangles.
And then as you look in a hole, you see about halfway down, more
than halfway down, just the edgeof your eyesight, looking into
this hole. You are now back in a madding
dungeon, and you see it. The acid had filled up that much

(01:00:55):
just to the edge of your eyesight as you look down to the
dark hole filled with bio. And then you hear some rumbles
and gurgles as the mouth begins to close the hole that you went
there, and some more rumbling and almost like a fart rolling
onto the floor, like a mix between glass and sludge is

(01:01:19):
another one of these red orbs with green liquid slowly moving
inside of it. And that is where we're going to
end this week's session. Man, what an episode.
I don't know if we were going tomake it out of there at the end.
Yeah. I was, I think it was goodness,
almost changed. In that game.
Shout out of this man. Goodness, the entire beginning

(01:01:43):
was me getting my ass whooped and the entire end is me
redeeming myself. I didn't do anything.
It's crazy. We're going to talk about all
the things of this Sebrix and the after show, and there's
something, and I will give this out because I don't want this to
be Privy to only patrons for people who are experienced with

(01:02:04):
Sebrix's and the warp creature ability featured in this
episode. Yes, I changed the key component
because he's not a boss monster of this campaign, although I'll
be an important one. The special condition that you
need to end it is a bit ridiculous for what I needed it
for and I don't want to be. I don't want that information to

(01:02:24):
be locked behind a Patreon thing.
I want that to be known that I did modify this that block
slightly for entertainment valueand just an epic all around
fight. So what we'll talk about in the
Patreon why you did it. I wanted everyone to new.
Cool. Good.
Stuff. Yeah, a little bit, a little
bit. Bad news for almost the Baylor
cannot fit in the man, and he's just too big.

(01:02:47):
So I don't know what you want todo about the True Polymorph
spell, but I think it's served its purpose.
He's going to give it a shot. Maybe he can think real skinny.
I don't know. Maybe he can like lose some
weight. Maybe he could just claws way
through, you know he's going to give it a shot.
Oh, I forgot one last thing as the I'm so sorry as the orb spit
out of the floor. I can't believe we forgot this

(01:03:08):
key factor. You see that Reginald begins to
ship and shave as he all the weight drops as he poof back
into his normal form. And with that being said, does
anybody have any comments, concerns or?
Recommendations. Someone else has got to give one
I haven't given them. I I don't have a recommendation,
but maybe I do, I don't know. I'll let you all be the judge of

(01:03:29):
it. I got some.
It's a food wreck. That's still a wreck.
I'm in New Jersey so I don't know how anybody else would try
this, but there's a place by me that sells New Haven style pizza
now I don't know how good. Now apparently New Haven style
pizzas the best. I've never had it from New Haven
but I did try it and it was good.
Granted this place is like a cheap gimmicky place.

(01:03:49):
It looks like the pizzeria from Toy Story but it had it featured
New Haven style pizza and I tried it.
I was like wow, this is way better than I expected.
I'll take that. So my suggestion is New Haven
style pizza, and I'll take this with a grain of salt because I
live in New Jersey. It was New Haven style pizza.
So I don't know if that translates to like, hey, he's a
New York slice in California. You know what I'm saying?

(01:04:10):
So take it as. You.
Play the clip of where he bashedNew Haven Pizza.
I think when we did the when we did the intro.
Something like this? We definitely have.
Can we get from? That back you don't even need
it. Dan going to the archive.
Snow from New Jersey. I was going to say.
It's about the water and the water.

(01:04:30):
Put it. Yeah, Oh my God, 100% say.
We gotta yeah, we gotta take each other.
That's. The best water.
Like we gotta take you to LittleItaly in New Haven and get you a
proper slice. I, I would love to.
I would love. To That'll be a good time.
We'll we'll do a pizza tour. Everybody come to Connecticut,
we'll do a pizza tour. Right.
And then I could take you to Nebraska for some real pizza.
Oh, OK, All right. I'm not I'm not even the biggest

(01:04:53):
pizzas knob and I I don't know if I can get buying that.
It's probably as fresh, you know, mozzarella as you're
probably gonna get, but. Bro, we ordered fried calamad in
a pizzeria in Nebraska and they gave us fish sticks.
They gave us fish. Sticks.
I don't even remember what thosewere.
Yeah. Oh.

(01:05:13):
Man, I was sitting there waitinglike, where's the fried calamad
at? And they're like, it's right
there. Like what?
I will say our pizza might not be as good, but the the meat and
all the toppings on the pizza. Oh, for sure, for sure.
So when you slow the cow down the street, it's going to be
fresh man. Like getting fish in a
landlocked state is a bit of a. Kind of goodbye.
We've given this up. Good.

(01:05:34):
The Monica. Goodbye, OK.
Goodbye, goodbye. I'm the big fat demon.
Hey everyone, it's Tony, and a fun fact about May is that it's
my birthday. What's a better way for a
Dungeon Master to celebrate thanto have AD and D party with all

(01:05:55):
our patriots? That's right, the night was a
lot of fun and let's recap some of our best moments, starting
with the shadow smugglers. Their gifts and birthday cards
were absolute top tier, albeit somewhat mildly offensive, but
let's go ahead and get into someof those.

(01:06:16):
Starting first up is Benjamin Hayes with a beautiful card
saying Congrats on leveling up and inside it says you've gained
plus one wisdom plus one charisma and let's be honest, no
dexterity all right, But hey, atleast you still roll better than
you than your actual coordination.
Oh wonderful. And it came gifted with this

(01:06:37):
custom miniature of themselves. And Next up is Annie with a
beautiful card saying you survived another year.
Sure you didn't thrive. You kind of stumbled with bad
rolls, questionable decisions, and an inventory full of useless
junk. But hey, survival counts.
Congrats. Thanks Annie, and with your

(01:06:58):
wonderful gift of a massive bag of D twelves the most underused
die in D&D. But then we got a strong gift
from Julius Kendrick with a birthday card shaped like a Mace
saying you're like a legendary artifact.
Rare, powerful, and honestly a little outdated, slightly

(01:07:19):
cursed, and probably way too complicated for anyone to
actually use. Happy birthday you magnificent
mess. Oh, and it came with a giant
life-size cardboard cut out of their character.
Oh this is beautiful Julius. Thank you.
And our last shadow smuggler, Reese with a beautiful card
saying roll for birthday success.

(01:07:40):
Even on a natural one, you're still the best at one thing,
turning critical failures into unforgettable stories.
So Congrats. I guess so.
And it came with this. A birthday sash saying Dungeon
master of my own life. Wow.
Next up we have the Bloodshot Bandits who brought the

(01:08:01):
entertainment to the party. Without them I I don't think it
would have been as as good as itwas.
And 1st up we have Morgan Ulfield.
I got to say your rendition of 500 miles on the karaoke box was
amazing. I love the way you change the
phrase. I would walk 500 miles to I
would roll 500 natural ones and it was beautiful.

(01:08:24):
And then Artemis, the balloon animals you made and all the
balloon dice, they were awesome.And the balloon beholder you
made was amazing until it poppedand then it, you know, flew
around the room for 20 minutes. But that's OK.
It made a funny sound. And Craig Dawnbringer, your fire
show was to die for. The way you handled that Shane
and Blade was underworldly. But please leave your dog

(01:08:45):
getting this at home. You pooped on the road and knock
mock the rogue scavenger hunt you set up was very, very fun
and exciting. But please, you put back my AA
batteries. I need those to use my TV.
Thank you. Phillip Buxton, the records you
span on the DJ table were straight bumping.
I love the way you rolled with it.

(01:09:09):
DVD humor shade grey fire. Your Revenger impersonation was
impeccable. But can you please return my
lampshade? They're not helmets.
Really appreciate it. Brandy.
Brandy Woodburner, I want to thank you for bringing your
lovely family wine. It was very delicious.
But next time could you use a glass and not the fishbowl?

(01:09:29):
Xander Thorpe, trust me to watchhis fish.
And he's going to be real mad when he finds out he drinks some
wine. And Sly, the murder mystery game
you ran was a huge hit, but the person who was murdered is still
in character and hasn't left my house.
Sly, if you could please tell him the game is over.
He's starting to smell a little bit now.

(01:09:50):
We're going to move on to the Sidgic College alumni where the
games were just as good as the snacks they brought.
David Lachance, thank you for bringing the chips and guac in
the custom made bowls that also doubled up as dice trains.
Casey the gelatinous jello was outstanding, but now I'm
starting to realize that I don'tthink the dice you put in there

(01:10:10):
were edible, but Patrick Wenestrem, the flurry of blows
punch was an absolute knockdown.Robert Criss the dwarf bread
pudding was very delicious and moist.
St. Chaos I absolutely love the
giant D8 soft serve pretzels with cockatrice cheese.

(01:10:33):
Geo coming through with the giant barrel veil.
Yeah, I know it was a it was a keg of bud heavy, but the barrel
veil sounds way cool and heiressand sendis the piping hot
tamales were hotter than the 9 Hells themself.
I'm going to be feeling for the next week thanks.
And now we got to talk about thetroublemakers of the party
Hubray as heroes, Bjorn charcoaldarts and Kezis.

(01:10:57):
You owe me a new TV. No, the YouTube video static
image of a dartboard doesn't mean you can use it as there
with glass. John Carroll?
Johnny Tarr. How was the cake?
I wouldn't know since the three of you stole it and ate it.
Good thing I had a back. Jonathan Prytho.
RIP cordon and taslin. Listen, I said I know you can

(01:11:18):
look and hold at my summon Stevescroll.
I didn't think you were actuallygoing to use it.
And take my giant crocodile mount for joyride.
I need them back. You get to scare when I'm not
there. Heart Iscor, storm and drown.
Please, please, please, please, please bring back my couch
cushions. My mom is going to be real upset
when she comes home and sees them young.

(01:11:38):
And that's all for this month. Shout outs and thank you again
for your love and support. And if you want to know how to
join the party, head on over to our Patreon or look up d&d44.com
links down below. See you.