Ep 55 | Love, Lies, and Life Lessons: A Story of Marriage and Betrayal feat. Kennith Allen Thomas

This episode is all about love, lies, and life lessons, as we dive into Kennith's personal journey of marriage and betrayal.

In this heartfelt conversation, Kennith shares his powerful story of resilience and growth, as he navigates the complexities of love and betrayal. We explore how certain experiences can deeply impact us on a cellular and spiritual level, shaping our reactions to life's challenges.

Kennith's story is a testament to the power of self-reflection and forgiveness. He shares his belief in giving people the benefit of the doubt, as our reactions are often influenced by a series of factors, not just the present circumstances. We also delve into the importance of building a strong foundation with God and seeking wisdom in our choices.

Throughout this episode, Kennith's authenticity shines through, reminding us that we are not alone in our experiences. So get ready for a thought-provoking and inspiring conversation as we explore the depths of love, the pain of betrayal, and the lessons learned along the way.

Follow me on Instagram: @EveryLPodcast for exclusive content

More about Kennith:

Husband, Father, Professional Dancer, Entrepreneur, Author, and Advocate for the Down Syndrome & Childhood Cancer Community.

Kennith is an American Author, Speaker, and Personal/Leadership Development Coach, Helping Companies cultivate leaders unifying transformational change for humanity. Leading their teams to build a better quality of life and overall performance. Kenny is known for his heroic leadership efforts in helping his special needs son, Kristian (Who has Down Syndrome), defeat AMKL-leukemia in half the time projected by doctors in just 149 Days. For over 20 years Kennith has been inspiring the masses with love, and long-spirited, faithful leadership with his powerful speeches and captivating stories. Whether the topic is Personal Growth, Leadership, Overcoming adversity, or Elevating the Mindset. Kenny's message is effective and inspires change

X (twitter):TheKennyClutch_ Instagram: @KennyClutch_

The Chronicle Of Allen (playlist): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC581FD01F9F5A30B

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I opened the phone and when I opened this phone,I started seeing text messages from other men.
I started seeing pictures of other men. Youknow, I'm not sure how X-rated we can get on
here or whatever, but just use your imaginationlike it was, you know, naked pictures of other
men, things like that in her phone, multipleguys. So it wasn't just one guy. And then messages

(00:22):
from her ex-boyfriend as well too that usedto beat her. You know, conversations with him.
And he's kind of pivotal in this particularconversation. So at that moment, I, you know,
you can just imagine on what's going throughmy mind. And at this moment, I, I would work

(00:43):
at night and she worked during the day. So Ihad our daughter in the morning time and, um,
in afternoon until she got off of work. Andat that moment, I looked at her and tears just
start falling down because I'm starting to questionnow, is she really mine?

(01:11):
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, I'm your host,Matt Brown and you're listening to the EveryL
Podcast. Each episode we'll have a differentguest come on and talk about when life hangs
you in L, is it really a loss or is it somethingelse? Because not every L is a loss. So sit
back, relax and do what every guy do to getcomfortable as we get into this. Let's go!

(01:42):
Welcome everyone to another episode of EveryOld Podcast. For every episode we have a different
guest come on and they talk about things they'veexperienced in life and initially it felt like
an L because everything was all stacked up,ready to go. Things were planned out the way
they should be and then for one reason or another,or most of the reasons, things didn't add up.
Two plus two didn't make four. What? And nowpeople get to look back, recount what happened

(02:08):
and sort of work out, was it really an L? orwas it something else that they gained from
the situation? Or it could just be a flat L.There's no harm, no foul in this situation,
but it's nice to understand what people havebeen through because we live and breathe amongst
one another, but we don't always know what'sgoing on. We only see the surface levels. And

(02:28):
at times we only see what we want to see becauseit makes us feel more comfortable. And sometimes
us being comfortable makes other people feeluncomfortable. And I think once we talk, you'll
probably understand where I'm coming from justbecause I know where I'm going with that. I
would like to think most of the conversationthat we have on here will lead you on that
same path. But as cliched as it sounds, I havea fantastic guest. And this gentleman I found

(02:53):
him because he had a clip with him and one otherdad, and it just brought a smile to my face.
It's one of those moments where you're justsitting there on your phone and you see a clip.
And you just start grilling like a Cheshirecat because it just filled you with so much
love, so much warmth, just the fact that yousaw him get happy, see another dad in a similar

(03:15):
situation, they just run and embrace each other.And that's what I want to do. I want to help
bridge the gap between strangers and get themto meet with other people who are like them
in similar situations so they feel less alone.When I saw what he was doing, and then I just
shared their content because like, why wouldn'tI? Let's promote good, positive, wholeheartedness.

(03:38):
And, you know, we just started talking fromthere, and then a bit of a rabbit hole, seeing
what he's about. Oh my gosh, this guy is justup there. And I say that not because of his
stature. I say that because of the content heshares. He's very open-minded. He knows what
he knows, and he understands that there's alot more to learn and grow. His son, his family,

(03:59):
it's just beautiful. And he is a bit of an openbook. Don't get it wrong, not everything you
see on social is what's happening in real life,I get that. But he still puts it out there.
And it gives you a sense of gratitude, a senseof being happy in the face of adversity. But
it's just him as a person, hearing things thathe's spoken about on his podcast, with different

(04:24):
guests and so forth. You sit there and it doesplant a seed and makes you want to continue
that conversation. and understand why do webelieve what we believe or why do we say what
we say or how, why do we conduct ourselves ina certain way? And these are some things that
people don't do. They don't sit in their themes.They don't sit in this thought process and
they just abandon it and then make assumptionsabout what they thought or what they were gonna

(04:47):
come to, but he doesn't do that. There mightbe instances he does, but on the platforms
that I've seen him on, he doesn't do that andI applaud him and I love him for it because
I think more of those conversations need tobe had. It's not wrong. to sit in your emotions,
it's not wrong to question certain things. Whenyou make a product or provide a service, you
have to stress test it, you have to make sureeverything has been checked off that box, and

(05:11):
if it's not and it goes out to market, morelikely you're gonna find someone that's gonna
find a fault with it, so you gotta then takeit back and revise it, and that's where you
come out of mark two, mark three, mark four,or it just gets pulled altogether because it's
just not up to standard. So why as a personwould you not want to make sure you check yourself?
that you reinvent yourself every so often justto make sure that the times you're living,

(05:34):
you're appropriate for that situation. You know,way back when I got beats as a child. Nowadays,
you don't need to be doing that. You can articulateyourself. You can conduct yourself in a different
way. But, you know, you hopefully get whereI'm coming from. But anyway, I digress. I have
a fantastic guest on here. His name's Kenny,and I'm gonna let him introduce himself before
we talk about his L yet. but he's gonna introducehimself in any way that he sees fit. And then

(06:00):
we're gonna jump on to what he wants to talkabout. Kenny, how are you doing, my friend?
I'm doing good, my man. Thank you, Matt, forbringing me on. Hello, everyone on the podcast.
Thank you for tapping in, listening. I hopethat you guys get some good wisdom, some good
knowledge. Pray that your spirit is edifiedwith some truth. something that's valuable

(06:21):
that you could take home with you from thisconversation. For those that don't know me,
my name is Kenneth Allen Thomas. I am a fatherof five, a husband, a man of God. I am also
known on the internet as the dancing dad formy heroic efforts, helping my son defeat cancer
within 149 days, you know, half the time expectedof what was projected by the doctors. And you

(06:44):
know, it was a... a rough time, but a joyoustime at the same time, being able to overcome
that type of adversity and now, you know, comingfrom being a 20 year vet inside the dance industry,
now retired from that and doing personal andprofessional development coaching and keynote
speaking around the world, speaking about ourstory, being an author of a few books and being

(07:08):
able to help people on a day to day basis iswhat, you know, I love to do. My whole thing
is. helping people strive and really, reallylive out their fullest potential and learning
how to do that with practical tools, thingsthat are not way over our heads, things that
we can actually do right now and moving forwardin that. So that's a little bit about me and

(07:28):
I'm ready to rock and roll, man. Let's get itgoing. See, come on. He did it in such a better
way than I did. I just rambled. He just gotto the point. But that's what you just got
to love about him. He's just so giving. Andyou'd think for someone... to give that much,
it's all like, how, how do you do it? And Ijust think he's an incredible individual. So

(07:49):
I'm grateful to have him on to share what he'sgonna share. And yeah, let's get it on. So
your first L that you said you wanna talk about,if I am correct, is your first marriage. Yeah,
man. Super crazy, man. 21 years old. I was 20,I'm 39 now, but I was 21 years old. and I made

(08:13):
a crazy decision. I was in a relationship whereI felt that I needed to step up to the plate.
We had a child at that time and I was with someonethat I thought was going to be my forever,
but it turned out that wasn't the case. I wentthrough something that no man wants to truly,

(08:41):
truly go through. Um, and it's funny that I'msaying that right now because that's a weight
that no, no man wants to carry. And, and asyou probably seen on my recent, uh, Instagram
posts where I have a video that's actually goingviral about men, you know, um, you know, uh,
releasing some form of weight, um, to, to thatthey can keep going and moving forward, especially

(09:05):
confiding in their wives. And this particularmarriage, it was a complete opposite. And we
had a child. And I found out two and a halfyears into the marriage that the child that
we were raising wasn't biologically mine. Whichis a heavy thing to go through, especially
when you are in your upper 20s. You make thisdecision, you wanna marry this girl, you wanna

(09:30):
step up to the plate, you wanna do right byher, you wanna do the right thing. And what
ended up happening was is that there was a lotof turmoil in that relationship, a lot of toxic.
in that relationship. A lot of things that were,a lot on my end as well too, so I'm not excluded,
but that right there was like the, put the icingon the cake for us. And that was something

(09:53):
like a situation that I don't think any man,any father would really wanna go through. And
for anybody that is a loving father, you prettymuch understand that your children are, your
world in a sense, you'll do anything for them.You're their protectors until, the day you're
called home, you know? So for me going throughthat situation, it was probably one of the

(10:16):
darkest times in my life. Damn. You're probablythe first person I've spoken to who has lived
through a sort of Jerry Springer sort of situationwhere you are not the father. Because let's
be fair, even though it's not biologically yourchild, if you felt that was your child, you

(10:38):
are a dad. You have gone through. every singleconceivable feelings emotions as a father and
then to be told sorry can you repeat that pleasebecause what you're saying it's not computing
it's just not there man just wow so the storygoes um so me and my ex-wife we went to high

(11:00):
school together um there was a we got togetherafter high school so we didn't we didn't really
even was rocking And when I got with her, mymom, she was one of the ones that was just
like, I'm not feeling this girl at all. Thereain't no way. When we found out that she was
pregnant, we, my mom actually pulled me intothe room, um, by myself and she was like, that

(11:27):
baby, she said that baby ain't yours. Uh, shetried to trap you and I'm like, try me with
what? I ain't got no money.
So like I'm broke, like I'm not an athlete.Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm not, you
know, I ain't Will Smith. I ain't none of that,right? So I dismissed what my mother said.

(11:52):
And it was just, I wasn't really seeing it.A lot of people that were close to me saw what
I didn't see or saw what I didn't want to see.And it got to a point where every day in that
marriage seemed like an argument, every dayseemed toxic, every day seemed like we're getting
on each other's nerves. It just wasn't a realmarriage, it just wasn't. It was always something,

(12:18):
it was always an attitude about something andthis one day, my ex-wife comes home with a
phone bill that was over $700. Yeah, I couldsee a $700 phone bill if you got multiple lines.
I could see a $700 phone bill if you got a business.I cannot see a $700 phone bill if you are one

(12:42):
individual person. Who are you calling? Andat that time we had separate phone lines. We
were on two different carriers at the time.She came home with this bill and that phone
absolutely had to get cut off because I didn'thave the money to pay that. And I'm like, who's
number is this on the line? There was two numberson it. And she tried to tell me this crazy

(13:06):
lie that remember when I, I tried to get youon, you know, my plane with me, well, they
must've taken the social security number orsomething like that and, and put your, uh,
and gave the number to somebody else. Like,it was just the wildest lie ever. And that's
when my antenna started to go up. I'm like,all right, she's hiding something, but she

(13:28):
doesn't really want me to know that she's nottelling me the truth. So I let it slide. my
ex-wife started to change her attitude. RememberI said like every day was like toxic, every
day like it was like an argument. And then allof a sudden we started going out on dates.
So all of a sudden she starts being nice. Allof a sudden things start to like change. Like
her mentality started to change and shift. AndI'm just like, hmm, like things are a little

(13:51):
bit different, why? So I got her a new phoneon my plan. So it was just two phones on my
phone plan. So the other phone, it got cut off.And she ended up taking that phone with her
every day to work. So my question is, is thatwhy are you taking a phone that doesn't work

(14:12):
anymore with you to work? What do you need itfor? Like I'm confused. And this is like around
2000, like 2008ish around there. She ends upsaying to me that, you know, like just continuously
with the lies. And then one day she leaves the,she left that phone. by accident in the bathroom.

(14:35):
Now I'm not the snooping type of person, butmy spirit was just hitting me like, go open
the phone. I opened the phone and when I openedthis phone, I started seeing text messages
from other men. I started seeing pictures ofother men. I'm not sure how X-rated we can

(14:55):
get on here or whatever, but just use your imagination.Like it was naked pictures of other men. things
like that in her phone, multiple guys. So itwasn't just one guy. And then messages from
her ex-boyfriend as well too that they usedto beat her. And conversations with him. And

(15:17):
he's kind of pivotal in this particular conversation.So at that moment, I, you know, you can just
imagine on what's going through my mind. And...at this moment, I would work at night. She
worked during the day. So I had our daughterin the morning time and in the afternoon until

(15:39):
she got off of work. And at that moment I lookedat her and I, you know, tears just start falling
down because I'm starting to question now, isshe really mine? So when she was about two,
I ordered a paternity test. And I ordered thepaternity test came in at this time, like,

(16:00):
you know, they didn't have what we have today,you know, you can probably find out quickly,
but back then you would have to get the kitfrom the lab and then the lab would then swab
your mouse and think that you would swab yourmouth and then you would, you would put it
back in and then send it back off to the laband you have to wait three to four weeks to
get results. So that's what we ended up doing.And, um, I did it, you know, I had everything

(16:22):
sent to my parents' house. So she wouldn't knowthat I went ahead and got a paternity test.
And I ended up doing that. And when I, you know,three, four weeks later, I'm teaching the dance
class. My father calls me up. He says the resultscame in and he said, do you want me to open
it? And I said, dad, I know you want to know,so go ahead and open it. Right. And, um, he

(16:44):
opens it and he read me the results. And whenhe read me the results that, uh, Kenneth Allen
Thomas is excluded as the biological father,I won't say the name for her protection and
everything. But. It was 99.9999999%
not the father. You can just only imagine whatwas going through my mind right now. Like at

(17:11):
that time, I couldn't even, I couldn't evenfinish the class that I was teaching. So my
boss understood, I got an opportunity to leave.And the crazy part was I was working an hour
and a half away from home. So I had this longdrive back home. And I go back home and I told

(17:33):
my ex-wife not to come home because we werealready arguing again and she had left. And
I said, don't come home. And she said, why,what's going on? I said, I don't want you to
come back right now because if you come backright now, things may get ugly. The day that

(17:53):
I found out, you know, the child was not mineis the day that, you know, that was my wife's
birthday as well. Same day. My ex-wife's birthdaywas the same day that I found out that the
child wasn't mine. So she comes home the nextday and I'm figuring out how should I tell

(18:15):
her. And at this moment, I'm fuming with rageand I just needed a day to kind of like decompress.
on how I was gonna do this. She ends up comingback. I took a shower. She got herself all
ready because we were going to quote unquote,celebrate her birthday. And I took a shower

(18:39):
and I got ready like, like we were about toget it on pretty much. But I left the brown
envelope on the nightstand next to her. I getout the shower. I go into the room. She's already,
she's in lingerie and all of this stuff, youknow, ready to go. And I say, I got your present.

(19:01):
And she's, oh, where's my gift? I said, it'sright next to you, right there on the nightstand.
This is a true story, right? Right there onthe nightstand. And she opens it up and she's
like, what is this? I said, read it. And asshe's reading it, her jaw drops. And she was

(19:21):
speechless. For the first time, she didn't knowwhat to say. Any other time she got a lot of
mouth. This time she didn't know what to say.And at that point, she said, I didn't know.
And I'm like, you're lying. You knew. You knewthe entire time. And then after all the commotion

(19:47):
and the arguing and the fighting, she ends upsaying words that I will never forget. I don't
know how to make this up to you, but the onlything that I can think of is giving you a child
of your own.

(20:15):
literally what she said. Those words would neverleave me, ever. So I'm like, you gotta be kidding
me. Like, who says that? That just goes to showyou how, how crazy her mind was. Like you literally
said that. At that moment, I began to changemy life to where I got to start doing things

(20:41):
for me. Obviously I just couldn't just up andleave my daughter just like that. It just wasn't
that easy. It took quite a few months to kindof like pull back from that moment, but it
was the start of who I am today. Damn.

(21:01):
UGH
Wow. So just to clarify some stuff. So priorto you getting married, you and her were intimate.
Yep. So there was a possibility child couldhave been yours. Yep. But it just so happened

(21:24):
that someone else was the one that got to theegg. Yep. When she was pregnant. Mums had the
conversation because let's be fair, I thinknow as we're grown, we kind of see things that
you don't see when you're in the moment. Yeah.But mums kind of say, hold up, I'm seeing them
red flags being waved. Yeah. What do you mean?I'm colorblind. I can't see what you're seeing.

(21:47):
It's just whatever. Mm-hmm. Okay. When did youget married after finding out she was pregnant?
We got married after we had the baby. Okay.So... So we were together and then we got married.
Um, we got engaged while she was pregnant. Andthen, um, after the baby was born, a baby was

(22:10):
born in January. And then we got married inJune. So about six months after, did you feel
pressured to do that? Did you, did you feellike an innate feeling of responsibilities?
Like we did the deed together. Yep. Mom anddad raised me well. So I'm gonna do right by

(22:31):
them, right by my family. Yeah. But I'm gonnahold it down. Yeah, yeah, that was the mentality.
At 21 years old, that was the mentality, readyto go and be a leader. And I knew what I was
doing and it was, I felt at the time it wasthe right thing to do. I don't regret any of
it. I don't regret none of that because it trulyturned me into, or was the, the beginning of

(23:01):
who I am. But there were times, even at thewedding, the day of the wedding, I'm walking
down the driveway and my mom goes, you knowyou don't have to do this. Like this is on
the day, like I'm literally about to drive tothe wedding. She stops me at the driveway and
says, you know, you don't have to do this. Somy mom was literally like, like trying to stop

(23:25):
me multiple times. And, uh, I wasn't listening,you know? So, so after all of that, um, I did
find out who the father was and it was the boyfriendthat was, that was beating her prior to. and
he was the actual father, which I had a hunchbecause she looked just like him. Like she

(23:51):
looked just like him. And I'm just like, man,like that's crazy. You know, the guy that I
thought that I saved you from, you went backto, or you kept dealing with, or the moment
when he left and said, yo, I'm out. But whenyou found out that you were pregnant, you said
that the child wasn't his, and then you putit on me and said the child is mine. because

(24:15):
maybe you saw the qualities that I had thathe did. Maybe you thought I was gonna be a
better father, and he wasn't, like maybe yousaw that. And that's why you did what you did.
I never really got that explanation. Nor doI care about it, but it's just the fact that
it's just ironic to see, see those things, howthey played out. I think it's telling because

(24:41):
you did say that, you're not an athlete, youdon't have money like that. everything else.
But the reality is, is that we don't necessarilysee the value that we bring to the environment
to a situation where other people are able toclearly see it. Some people abuse that, some
people embrace it, some people reciprocate it.But clearly it seemed like she saw from a distance,

(25:04):
if I want someone to raise my child, this isthe person. But even if that may be the case,
she clearly seemed like she wasn't in a placeto appreciate such a quality in a person. Prior
to the baby being born, how did you feel? Howdid you feel learning that you was gonna be
a dad? Man, scared. I was a little scared. I'mlike, man, like this is, you know, because

(25:29):
at the time I was a young dancer. I wasn't asgood as I am today. I was still just learning
the ropes. I was literally trying to find mycareer. I'm technically fresh out of high school,
24 months out of high school. Like I literallyjust graduated. And to get thrown into adulthood

(25:50):
like that, and feeling the feeling of a child,coming into the world, I said, wow, I have
this sense of responsibility now. And I wasscared but ready at the same time, or at least
I felt ready, but I wasn't financially ready.I wasn't financially set. There was still so
much more that I had to learn. I didn't knowhow to be a dad or anything. but I did have

(26:15):
some form of training on what it felt like tocare for others because of the relationship
with my sister. And our upbringing and her followingme as a young kid, because we're four and a
half years apart, so she was always taggingalong with me. So it was things like that,
that when I did find out that I was gonna bea dad, it was excitement, but at the same time,

(26:41):
there was a lot of... you know, resentment inthat from other people. And because, you know,
like you said earlier, they probably see thepotential in me. They saw what I'm capable
of doing, you know, kind of like an athletethat may have a child early that has a lot
of promise and potential. And then it couldbe like you're wasting your life away type

(27:03):
of thing. And then baby comes along, take ityou're at the hospital. I was at the hospital,
I was there for everything. I was there forthe birth. I was there for it all. Here's the
ironic part. And here's what I want people tounderstand and get. Sometimes the things that
we go through in life that we are blind to becomevery, very clear to us later on. It's kind

(27:30):
of like a baby when they're born, their visionis a little blurry. And it takes a couple of
months for them to kind of see clearly on whothey're looking at. Are they looking at mom?
Are they looking at dad? Who are they lookingat? When it comes to our purpose in life, sometimes
the vision can be very, very blurry, but thespark of the purpose can be very, very nasty.

(27:53):
It can be very, very traumatic in a sense, right?But I promise you, if you stay the course on
your purpose and what you're called to do, Ipromise you God is going to reveal all the
things that are promised to you without fail.Why do I say that? So my ex-wife, her birthday

(28:17):
is January 24th. And the crazy part is thatI found out that I lost a child on January
24th, which was the daughter who I found outthat wasn't biologically mine, right? So on
January 24th, you know, my ex-wife and I, youknow, like I... Once again, the biological

(28:41):
child, I found out January 24th that she wasn'tmine. Now, that was about, that was what, 2006,
and this is now 2023, so we're talking 17 years.Right? So it's been 17 years since that happened.
17 years to the day this year, January 24th,2023, my fifth child was born. Hezekiah, my

(29:15):
son who I have children with, my wife now, ourfifth child was born 17 years to the date on
my ex-wife's birthday. The funny thing is thatmy wife knows that how precious that day is
for me, right? Because it was once a day ofturmoil, a day of pain, a day of sorrow, that

(29:42):
17 years later, God said, no, now this is aday of bliss, a day of happiness, a day of
joy, because I have replenished you and promisedyou what I was gonna promise you, a child on
this day, on this very day. So no longer isthis day a day of bad, but now it's known as
a day of good because my child, Hezekiah, wasborn on January 24th. It's kind of like having

(30:08):
manure being the best type of fertilizer. Yeah,it was absolute trash. And then what comes
from it? Wow, look how beautiful you are. Lookhow vibrant you are. And that's because out
of the darkest times, you have the brightestlight and you have to squint sometimes because
it's just so, so bright. Yes, sir. How difficultwas it to look at your child after that? Now,

(30:33):
I'm not going to rehash what happened when youwas at the studio and you stopped because I
think a lot of us can probably understand. howyou probably felt. Words probably would have
failed you multiple times. But when you lookat your daughter, because she was still your
daughter. Yep. No matter what's been said toyou in that instant, that's been what, 30 months

(30:56):
potentially that you've had of having your childand then the nine months in the belly. Yep.
That's my daughter. Yep. And now I'm lookingat you and like you said about the vision being
blurry and now you're seeing it, she don't looklike me. She looked like that, Bray. Yeah.
Oh my gosh, the mannerisms, all of that stuff.It was there in front of me and I willfully

(31:20):
discarded it and just accepted it for what itis. How did you process that? Because I don't
understand how I would, how I could, but I wouldprobably understand the need. especially if
the relationship with the ex is the way it is.But I'm just trying to understand how you detached

(31:45):
that because it's not just the physical detachment,it's also the mental, the physical, the emotional.
How did that work? Well... I'm a, my personalityis a protagonist, right? So I'm somebody that
is loyal. I'm someone who is an optimist. I'msomebody who tries to see the good in every

(32:09):
situation. Right? So processing it, number one,you know, I had to go, I had to go to God on
it. I didn't have the relationship with Godthat I have now back then. My relationship
with God is completely on another level versusback then. But processing it, I used my gifts

(32:33):
to make the shift. I used my gift to make theshift. What I mean by that is I didn't have
a therapist, I didn't have homies that I cancall and talk to that actually been through
what I've been through. I never had any of that.I couldn't even talk to him. Me and my father
couldn't even like process this because he neverbeen through it. Like he'd hear for all his

(32:58):
kids, you know? So, I mean, we look like him.So the process of going through was I had to
use what was within and understanding what waswithin was my artistic mindset. So what I did
was I created and reenacted the scene. again.And I turned on the camera, I got some friends

(33:26):
together, and I put a short film together ofthe entire situation. And I posted it on YouTube.
And what I did was, you know, I directed a shortfilm of everything that just happened in my
life, because I could not move on, you know,if I didn't do something. So my art my dance,

(33:54):
like all of that hip hop, everything, I tookit and I told a story.
You just can't hold it in. It has to be releasedsome way or the other. So if you don't have
money for a therapist, if you don't know anybodyto talk to, well, what do you have? What do
you have? And sometimes you have to go to Godand say, this is all I got. And... when using

(34:19):
that, it was a really, really cool success atthe fact that I was able to turn this story
into what I like to call the Chronicles of Allen,which is on YouTube and everything. If you
guys go back and check it out, you can go checkit out, but don't judge me because the quality
of it back then was so trashed. Like it wasso bad, bro. Like it was terrible, but like

(34:44):
it got, but it does get better. The story gotbetter, the quality got better. You know as
I did more I did about eight episodes. So it'slike a solid season and Yeah, man, that's how
I got through it. I got through it by Reenactingit I got through it by putting myself back
in the situation. I didn't run from the situationI went through the situation I went through

(35:05):
the storm and I think what oftentimes peopletend to do is they run away from the storms
They run away from the storms and the stormis still chasing them The storm the cloud is
still gonna be over your head because you'rerunning toward, you know, you're running away
from the storm instead of running towards thestorm. I would dare say if you run toward the
storm, that cloud is going to pass you by andit's not going to look back. It's going to
keep going in that same direction. Now thatI went ahead and faced it head on and, you

(35:30):
know, delivered content that was, you know,this is what happened and I'm comfortable with
that, whether she liked it or not, whether itdoesn't matter. Like this is, I'm telling this
story. It truly, truly helped me. in such away that I believe helped, you know, many other
people as well too. So I just gathered my friendsup and I say, yo, y'all want to help me shoot

(35:52):
this? And, um, and we did it. And that's howI kind of got through it, man. Like having
that type of support system to help me tellthis story was, um, was major. That's really
interesting. Did, do you think that helped youbecause you ended up having to remove yourself
from the situation and kind of piece it togetherto say, okay, I'm one of the. jigsaw pieces

(36:15):
in this mess. I don't actually know what I'mbuilding right now, what I'm part of. So by
you removing yourself, it's like you're ableto say, right, let me assemble this jigsaw
and see where I fit in. Yep. And then decidewhether you wanna continue being that part
in that jigsaw or finding a new purpose in anotherjigsaw. Yeah, 100%, 100%. Because one of the

(36:41):
things I teach in my courses is remove yourselfto improve yourself. Right. And sometimes you
have to remove yourself from the situation becausewhat happens, man, oftentimes when tragic strikes,
when things get real crazy for people, theyautomatically want to react and when they react,
they, they become, um, they, they may make thesituation fall worse than what it is. So me

(37:06):
removing myself from the situation to kind oflook at it, things from an outside perspective
and the outside view actually helped me. inthat process and it actually helps me in life
till this day. Um, whenever anything happensin life, you know, from my son having cancer,
I removed myself from the room to, you know,to see things from an outside perspective so

(37:26):
I know how to, um, attack the situation headon. It's more so of being, being silent before
speaking, being a good listener before actuallybeing an active speaker, being the person that
seeks to understand before seeking to be understood.Yeah, I get that. And I think that's, that's

(37:46):
very important. I know times I can react, buta lot of times I don't and people don't like
that about me. Because I get told that probablywith how I speak and what I say, because I'm
trying to be considering what I'm saying, it'sall that am I being sincere in what I'm saying?
It's like I am, I'm just trying to be mindfulof what I say and how I come across and make

(38:09):
sure I address the points that need to be addressedthat I think are important. It's not always
about me. And it's hard for me to accept thatas an individual because I think a lot of us,
we are the star of our own movie. We are thestar of our own books. So it makes sense that
it's all about us. But when you arrive to thatplace where you realize there's other people

(38:34):
out there, other people who've got other stuffgoing on, how you perceive things to be isn't
necessarily the only way it can be perceivedor the only way it will... eventually become
there are multiple outcomes of this situationdespite what the experts or the professionals
are telling you because They're 10 use informationbased on past experience. They can't see the

(38:55):
future. It's a best guess so You know anyonecould probably say to you Oh, I've seen 10
episodes Joe spring or where this happens Andwhat normally happens is this person does this
person keys a car that person does that butit doesn't mean that's how you're gonna react
how you're gonna react is how you feel you needto react in that moment, regardless of how

(39:19):
you felt in the initial moment. Right. So youreenacted it all that, you felt better. Can
I ask, do you still have a relationship withher? The daughter? No. The last interaction
I had with her was

(39:44):
We were at my parents' house and I was watchingher for a little bit. I had got her some Mickey
Mouse, some Minnie Mouse ears, you know, becauseI had did some work down in Disney World at
the time, or Disney, whatever, one of thoseDisney places, and did some work down there,

(40:05):
came home with that. And that was like our lastinteraction together. The. The nail in the
coffin was Christmas. And I think that was Christmasof 2008-ish, somewhere around there, where
I had bought about $200 worth of clothes andme and my ex-wife weren't speaking, so I had

(40:31):
dropped the clothes off at her doorstep forChristmas. And the next day, those clothes
were right back on my doorstep. So yeah, andat that point, I stopped all communication
and I said, all right, this is it. This is literallylike maybe, you know, this is months after.

(40:57):
Like, so it happened in January. This is atthe end of the year. So took about 11 months,
11, 12 months and everything for this thingto really fizzle out. And... And that was it,
man. Like that was it after that. I have notspoken to her or had any type of communication

(41:19):
with her since. I guess it makes it easier whenthe mom did what she did. Yeah, I mean, you
could say that, but I was still willing to beher father. I was still willing to be her father,
but at the same time, I couldn't deal with thattoxicness either. So I guess it was easier,

(41:49):
I guess, you know, you could say that, but wasit ideal? Probably not at the time, because
I still wanted to be a dad, but it was bestbecause of where I'm at now. But unfortunately
it didn't pan out to the way I would have likedfor any man, it didn't pan out to that. But

(42:17):
I think these days, sometimes the days are toughbecause you think about the situation and it's
like, man, like what if, right? Like what ifit could have been different to where I could
still be her dad? You miss these birthdays,you missed sweet 16s, she's... probably a senior

(42:38):
in high school at this point right now, so she'sgonna be graduating.
I am honestly sure at some point in time that,I'm almost positive that she may know who I
am, but then again, I never know. Yeah. Howdid this series of situations impact your future

(43:03):
relationships? Well, that was the reason whyI did the short film. Because if I didn't,
then the future relationships that I was gonnabe in, I would be holding on to a lot of that,
a lot of what happened. And I know that thepeople that I meet in the future didn't deserve

(43:26):
any of that if there was any backlash on mypart. So I was at least aware enough that I
gotta make sure that I'm okay with me first.I gotta make sure that I'm good first because
no one else is going to deserve any type ofturmoil that I may bring into a relationship
if I'm not okay. Like I gotta make sure thatI'm okay. Gotta make sure that, you know, my

(43:51):
mind is right in the best space possible.
But I'll tell you, I went down a road of tryingto be with this girl and that girl and doing

(44:15):
it, like just doing things that I'm not necessarilyproud of because I was hurt. And it seemed
like some people just didn't care. I was alwaysthe guy that everybody leans toward for advice,
for leadership, for all these things. But Ididn't have, all those people that are willing

(44:39):
to take the time out to pour into me daily fromwhat I was needing. Not saying that people
did not, there were men that did, but it wasn'tto where I needed it on a daily basis. So that's
why I turned to dance and I turned to puttingall my focus into my career because that's

(45:02):
where I was able to let it all out when I couldn'ttalk to other people. Yeah. When would you
say was the lowest point of that situation andhow did you deal with it?
the lowest point.

(45:22):
I think the lowest point.
was... when I found out my mother had cancer.
That was the lowest point. Not only that, Ialmost died as well too, because I had a staph

(45:44):
infection. And I almost redlined with the staphinfection if I didn't get to the hospital when
I got there, because I was very, very close.I was procrastinating going to the hospital.
So all at the same time, I'm going through adivorce. The child is not biologically mine.

(46:04):
My mom has cancer. I moved back home and hereI am in ICU. And I'm like, man, this is pretty
low. This is pretty low. So that was the moment.But how did I get through it? It was my will

(46:28):
to, I remember someone, one of my mentors saying,Kenny, If I could talk you out of this, then
the same for you. And I had every reason tostop dancing. I had every reason to give up.
I had every reason to just pack it in and justgo do something else. Many times, you know,

(46:51):
my ex-wife would try and get me to stop dancing.She even said one time, like, you know, give
it up. You're wack, you're corny, you're nevergonna make it. Sorry, what? Never gonna make
it, yeah, yeah. She would tell me these things.She said, you're wack, you're corny. You're
never going to make it. Give up this dance thing.Like you're just not that good. And it drove

(47:18):
me to do it more. And I'm pretty successfulat the fact that I've been able to, off of
dance, see countries like Japan, see countrieslike Bulgaria, see multiple, multiple cities
in the United States, be able to choreographfor big name artists, and old school artists

(47:41):
like Rob Bass. And different things like that,do things with Jill Scott and other performers,
be in movies like Step Up 3, be in differentTV shows like Ugly Betty, The Good Wife, and
all these different things that I've been ableto do because of the drive that I had. And

(48:04):
when I was in that hospital at that low point,it was, I was thinking about those things.
I was thinking about, yo, if... If this cantalk me out of doing it, then it's not for
me. But I just wasn't ready to give up. So inmy mind was simply, this is prior to me actually
saying it, but this is really what it is. Whenwe changed the mind, we changed the game. And

(48:28):
then when I started doing that, that's whenI started saying, I'm gonna go for it. I'm
gonna get back, I'm gonna get my win back. I'mgonna be better than what I was before. And
I'm going to push. And I started to invest inmyself. when I started to invest in myself,
that's when things really started to changebecause I had no more responsibility. This
is all I had, all I had was me. I guess it gaveyou a second chance really because when it

(48:53):
was, you had the responsibility to be able toget up and go, you can't, you got a newborn,
you got a toddler, you've got the responsibility,you're holding it down. But now it's somehow,
yo, if I have the extra time, the additionalfreedom to do as I see fit, oh. Yes, I'm gonna
do this, this and this. And it's quite interestingbecause you said something that I have said

(49:17):
for a number of episodes and it's somehow of,you know, you can't apply a filter to life,
but you can change your mindset. Yep. And that'swhat's going to help you achieve and obtain
what you want to obtain. I don't like the phrasebad things come in free and someone could say
in your situation, bad things happen in free.But. you know, it's kind of like you're looking

(49:39):
for it. That's why you found it. But if you'relooking for the good things in your life, the
things to be grateful for, you also find thosethings. And, you know, just hearing that situation
just sounds, you know, it feels like, all right,cool. I'm numb by this pain. So now all this
other stuff's coming along. It's like, you knowwhat, miles off right in my way. I'm numb to
it all. It's just, how about it? I'm there.I can't feel anything more than what I'm already

(50:03):
feeling. But I will ask this question. Yeah.And I think you kind of answered it already,
but I don't know if the answer could be different.So let's assume you are who you are now. You're
able to go back in time. Nothing you do backin time is gonna impact what happens today,
right? Where you are today. But what would yousay to your younger self at your lowest point

(50:25):
to encourage you to push through if you feltthat, I just can't, like I honestly, that the
handbrake's on, I'm here, I'm parked, I'm neutral.Leave me be, the world's gonna keep spinning,
but I ain't about that no more. I'm just, I'mdone. What are you saying to your younger self
to encourage you to not give up and to keeppushing through? Build a real relationship

(50:50):
with God. build a real relationship with God.I kind of feel like I'm like almost 20 years
behind. And well, not really 2010, I'm 10 yearsbehind because I really started to get right
with God when I was 29. So I would definitelysay, I would definitely say, I would tell my

(51:16):
younger self to sit down and listen for a second.I want to give you something. I wanna share
something with you that is going to benefityou throughout your entire life, moving forward.
You will remember this day, you will never regretwhat I'm about to tell you. And what I'm about

(51:36):
to tell you has nothing to do with money, hasnothing to do with materialistic things, it
has nothing to do with any of that, but it isGod's wisdom that is going to take you to another
level. And if you... obey and hear these wordsof wisdom, these words right here that were
written truly by the Holy Spirit, then you willbe the one that you will do things that will

(51:59):
be exceedingly and abundantly more than youcould ask, think, or imagine. But you have
to sit down and you have to take heed and bean active listener of what I'm about to tell
you and share with you. And if I was speakingto my younger self, I would truly share the
gospel with them. I would truly sit there andtell him, this is what you need. This is something

(52:25):
that's gonna be different from what everybodyelse is telling you. Everybody else that's
on the street telling you something different.Everybody else on the street telling you to
be with this girl, go do this, go do that. Butwhat I'm giving you, is something that will
never run dry. This would be a moment here where,you know what? You'll never be thirsty. You'll
never be wanting to, you know. Needing a drinkbecause you'll have you know flowing water

(52:51):
throughout and your throat will never get thirstySo I would tell them to Don't be religious
But build a strong relationship And the finalthing I would say is Foundation is key the
foundation being key is that You can build yourhouse on the sand Or you could build your house

(53:16):
on a rock And I would give him these two choices.If you build your house on sand, it may be
the most beautiful thing that anybody's everseen. But the fact is that you run the risk
of a hurricane hitting it and it falling downbecause it's built on a softer foundation.
But if you build your house on a rock, althoughit may be harder, when the hurricane hits,

(53:44):
that thing is gonna stand the test of time.and you'll be so much more prepared. You'll
be in your room with your cell phone or yourwifi while whoever else is out there building
houses on sand is gonna keep building insideof a storm because they didn't use the tools
to build on a firm foundation being a rock versussand. So you said that also eloquently. Do

(54:12):
you think your younger version of yourself wouldhave heard you? Or do you think you'd had to
have presented in a different way in order foryourself to hear it? Yes, I do feel my younger
self would have heard because I was alreadya sponge for knowledge and wisdom. It just,
when it came to love, I wasn't. I was alreadylike, you know, I was already that guy where

(54:39):
I'm willing to put the work in. So I was alreadyready to listen. But again, like when it came
to love, I wasn't. And I love that. I respectit. I just know that sometimes how things are
being said now in hindsight, like got the toolkit,know what I'm saying, but I know how my younger

(54:59):
self would have probably reacted to some ofthem stuff and yeah. I would have to drop it
in a different way, but I love that for you.And I just love- how well you presented it.
So I will ask then, in the coming months, years,and so forth, when you now got with your now
wife, and she was with child, how did you feelat that point? Was it a panic station of going,

(55:26):
I've been here before? How long till I findout? And then the baby comes, you're looking
at that baby, checking it all 4D, is that babymine? Them ears look different. I'm not sure.
Pigmentation. Hmm. Questionable. Because I knowI make it sound comical, but the reality is,
or at least I like to think if something traumatichas happened to you already, it's hard to erase

(55:52):
the feelings because in theory, you're thengoing back blind and that like a fool. Sorry,
if I'm offending anybody. Just going, Oh, well,that didn't happen. Let's go again, because
you've been bitten. Yeah, so you're gonna goagain and go hang on. I'm coming from a place
of experience. let me just make sure everythingis kosher. Yeah. Was that the case for you?

(56:13):
No, not at all, not in this case. The reasonwhy is because me and my wife in our house,
we have an oil painting in our house. It hasa scripture on it, and then it has our wedding
date on it. But off of it is hanging a ringwith three cords that are braided. And we know

(56:36):
that a three-folded cord is not easily broken.So when we got married, we braided the cord
together at our wedding. And there was no doubtin my mind that she was the one. How did I
know that she was always gonna be loyal to me?My apartment burned down in, maybe like 10

(57:00):
years ago, somewhere around there. And we hadjust got together. I moved back home to my
mom's house. She actually had just moved backfrom Hawaii and she was getting out of a divorce
as well too. And we had got together and I endedup going back to my mom's house in this small,

(57:22):
tiny, like probably like 400 square foot room,like super small. And... she slept with me
on the air mattress, not an air mattress, sheslept with me on the twin bed. We had a twin
bed. So we had a twin bed and inside that roomwas a lot of love. Inside that room was a lot

(57:45):
of hope. Inside that room was a lot of faith.And inside that room was all of our stuff.
We were tight. And I remember her being withme during those rough times. I remember her
saying that she believes in what I do. And Iknew that when she got pregnant, there was

(58:09):
no doubt in my mind that the baby was mine.There was no doubt in my mind that, those thoughts
didn't even come about at all. Like I just know,you know what I'm saying? And I also knew from
an external standpoint, what others raved aboutmy wife and everything as well too. It was

(58:31):
just something about her that made me so comfortablethat I didn't even have to think about what
happened in the past. I just knew that, youknow what, like there's no mistakes here at
all. That's beautiful. And it would be niceif everyone was able to experience that but
unfortunately life doesn't work that way. Andeven though it didn't work that way, if you

(58:54):
initially, it's nice that it worked out foryou eventually. Because you stayed the course
and you didn't give up you kept going on andsomething I've said before in the past is that
You know if you look at if you stop where youare right now in the midst of something that's
challenging So that's not what you want it tobe that is a loss But if you keep going you're
gonna collect a couple more letters and it'sbecome a lesson Come on now. So, you know,

(59:19):
that's my interpretation of it But I'll actuallyyours if that situation wasn't an L, what would
you call it? Hmm if it wasn't an L, that's agood question if it wasn't an L I'd call it
a level Okay Because I've elevated from that,you know I've elevated from that from that

(59:45):
level on where I was so I will definitely callit a level in my life that I Had to endure
I had to go through there was no way aroundit If I don't go through this level, I'm not
who I am today. Should I have made better decisions?Yeah. Uh, but none of us are flawless. Right.

(01:00:07):
So therefore it was, it was a level in my life.And not the final level. Not at all. That's
amazing. Yes, sir. I, I. know a bit about you,not the length and depth of what other people
know about you, because I learned about youvery late in the day. But that was not one

(01:00:31):
of them. And I'm very grateful for you sharing.I know for a fact that there's probably people
going, hang on, hang on, hang on. He said hisson had cancer. I know, I know what you're
thinking. I know you're thinking, go followhim on social, hear his story, let him share
it, share it to you in a way that He wants toshare it to you. Yeah. Oh no, but what about

(01:00:54):
his mom? Again, go follow him. Go see what he'sgot going on there. Yeah. And see what's up
with Mumsy. Yeah. But shout out to Mumsy thoughfor calling the red flags from way back when.
All the way. Mumsy saw it from a distance. Mumsyfrom the telescope hat guy, nah, not my baby,
you mad? Yeah. She had the Spidey sense on realquick. Oh, that tingling sensation was there.

(01:01:18):
And then dad was well for holding it down becausenot a lot of dads, unfortunately, are on the
scene like that, but dad was there holding itdown. Even when he didn't know how to navigate
his situation, he was still there with you inthe trenches, going, got a letter. Yep. Just
open it with you. He wasn't just like, there'ssomething here for you. Let you wait until
after he's there with you. And I love I lovethat. I just think. If we knew more about each

(01:01:43):
other, like we've just had a conversation about,we'd probably be a lot more kinder to one another.
and be more empathetic and go, yo, I had noidea. And I just think that is really, really
nice. What I'm gonna actually do, please usethe next two minutes to selfishly and unapologetically

(01:02:05):
plug yourself and everything you've got goingon and where the people can find you so they
can catch up on the rest of the stories andall the new stuff you're gonna be dropping.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you guys can really findme on Instagram. I've been hanging out there
a lot lately at Kenny clutch underscore K EN Y C L U T C H underscore or you can catch

(01:02:28):
me any of my courses. If you are somebody thatis looking to elevate from a personal level,
professional level in your development and wannago to that next level, I have a plethora of
courses and trainings. that you guys can geton my website. That's www.kennethallentthomas.com.
K-E-N-N-I-T-H-A-L-L-E-N-T-H-O-M-A-S.com. Andyeah, and then join in on the Unshakeable Nation.

(01:02:56):
Get with the podcast, get what we're talkingabout. We're talking about different topics
as far as when it comes to our personal growthand talking about all faith, family, and leadership
and looking to grow in that aspect. I feel thatwe all... our leaders in some way, shape or
form. And as leaders, we never stop growing.We're always looking to go to another level

(01:03:19):
or we should be looking to go to another level.And from there, just continue to come along
for the ride. I share my family, I share myexperiences and the things that I feel that
are gonna edify people and help them live lifeto their fullest potential. That's really what
it's all about. Um, I want to see you guys win.So I I'm under the mindset of giving until

(01:03:44):
it hurts and then give some more. Right. AndI'm just going to keep giving. Oh, like I say
to people, I pulled a face when he said thatgiven to it hurts and then give some more.
Yeah. Ooh, I like that. I like that. Becauseyou got to think about it, right?

(01:04:05):
If we're trying to achieve something in life,then we're gonna have to give something. If
you are somebody that is looking to spark abusiness, maybe you wanna create a nonprofit,
maybe you wanna write a book, whatever it isthat you're looking to do, the first thing

(01:04:25):
that you're gonna need is a tribe. You're gonnaneed a community. How are people ever going
to listen to you if you're not giving to them?So give until it hurts. You give your time,
give your money, give your wisdom, give whateverit is that you have to give, you give it. You

(01:04:47):
give until it hurts, right? When you feel likeyou don't have it to give, give it anyway.
Because the harvest that you reap in the endwill be so much more beneficial for you and
will edify your life to a totally differentlevel to things that you wouldn't even ask,

(01:05:08):
think or imagine. So yeah, give until it hurtsand then give some more. Damn. You sure you
want to host my podcast for me? I got you right.Let's go. Let's go. That's actually- I'd give
that too. That's actually beautiful. I appreciateyou coming on and sharing all that you have

(01:05:30):
done. Love to your family, love to you, loveto mom, dad, and everyone else involved that
helps support even your people, that helpedwith the production to kind of get you through
just visualizing what was going on and puttingit out there because- Even now, I'm thinking
of a couple of people I will reach out to afterthis episode and say, yo, because what they

(01:05:53):
shared on their episodes was being cheated on.And that was their fiance's. None of them got
to the level that you got, thankfully or not,thankfully, however you want to put it. But
it's just nice to hear people sharing thesestories because a lot of people say, I don't
hear black men talk about this. I don't hearmen talk about this full stop. And it's the

(01:06:14):
fact that One, it's a shame. Two, it's aboutcool. I'm grateful that I'm in a position where
people feel comfortable enough to disclose thistype of information and allow me to share it
for other people. But all I want to do, andI know I'm repeating myself here, but I wanna
bring people together. I want us to feel lessalone in this world. The worst thing you can

(01:06:34):
probably feel is being lonely amongst a crowd.Yeah. If I can help people to see that these
things happen and it impacts us. on a cellularlevel, on a spiritual level, then hopefully
you can understand why people react the waythey do to certain things you say, think or
do. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, it'sjust that they're going through some stuff

(01:06:59):
and we just need to afford people grace, givepeople the benefit of doubt, just because of
what they say, what they do, how they reactisn't their full being. Sometimes people might
kick off at you and you take it personally,but it's not even you. It's a series of things
that add up to that point. And I can definitelysay this as a parent. And it's something one
of my friends, Travis, actually said about howkids don't know how to push your buttons. And

(01:07:22):
it's like, no, they don't. But they know thecombination. Like, I am tired. I am sleep deprived.
They're bleeding me dry over my patience, ofmy emotions, of my finances. And then they
want to go and do this. Are you, that's thecombination for me. Yes. So anyone use that,
please. That's the combination. And it's a matterof right, how do I navigate it? How do I not

(01:07:48):
lash out on the next person? How do I let, howdo I know how to improve myself and no longer
let that remain the combination to get me tothat level where I snap and other people may
not be aware of that. They just go around snapping,not knowing it. But unless we understand that
there's more to what, more to people than whatwe can see. We are gonna struggle to be happy

(01:08:12):
and fulfilled in our lives because we're gonnakeep taking things personally when it's anything
but. It's just part of the process. And I thinkwhile we're on our way to happiness on that
journey, enjoy the ride. Because everyone enjoysa good story. So why not have your story to
tell to people? Absolutely, absolutely. I thinkthat, my little one's coming down here now,

(01:08:34):
but I think that to your point, There's thisthing that I teach in a lot of my talks, and
it's called the wellbeing exercise. And withinthe wellbeing exercise, people have to learn
how to put themselves first. Many people don'tput themselves first, they put themselves fourth

(01:08:55):
or fifth on the list, and then they wonder whythat certain things are not flowing the way
that they want, right? When you put yourselffirst, meaning, taking care of your mindset,
taking care of your body. You know, for example,right? For American football, right? And American

(01:09:20):
football would be, they get ready to play onSundays. And sorry about that. That's Christian,
everybody here. They get ready to play on Sundays.When they get ready to play on Sundays, they
are taking care of their bodies. If they don'ttake care of their bodies, then guess what?
going to be able to be at their best self fortheir team. And being that they're not being

(01:09:42):
able to their best self for their team, thenthat right there may, the whole team is gonna
feel the effects of it. So you do the same thinginside your family as well too. So learn how
to take care of you and do the things that areimportant for you so that you can be better
for your team. 100%. And it's like when you'reon a plane, they say when the mast drop, you

(01:10:05):
put it on yourself. and then you put it on thechild because the reality is you give it to
a child in the nicest possible way. What's thatchild going to do if you conk out, but they've
got a mask on. So you might as well put it onyourself. And if they conk out, you're in a
position where you're able to provide for them,support them, and get them from where they
are to where they need to be. So I absolutelyloved that. And I enjoyed this conversation

(01:10:26):
so much. And yeah, looking forward to more ofwhat you drop, what you share. And yeah, look
forward to many more engagements. over the comingweeks, months and so forth. And again, love
to you and your family, to everyone listening,I hope you enjoyed the conversation and taking
something from this. Please reach out to himif you need to, follow him and just understand

(01:10:51):
that just because whatever you're going throughright now feels like a loss, doesn't necessarily
mean it's gonna be. Like I've said multipletimes before, there's nothing about a caterpillar
that tastes gonna be a butterfly. So look afteryourself, stay well. and I'll catch you in
the next episode.