Ep 60 | TRAILER | Silencing the Mean Voice: Choosing Kindness in a Critical World feat. Kaylee Grace

The full episode goes live on Monday 6th November 2023 at 7am GMT

 

Please help more people hear these incredible stories by sharing, rating and reviewing the podcast 👊🏾

for exclusive content follow me on IG @everylpodcast

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
And there are some of us in the world that sitback and go, how is this my life? How did I
end up here when my sibling is highly successful,yet we had the same parents? Like, how does
that relate? But when I go back and have a look,it's like, well, because I was the one that

(00:28):
they blamed. I was the one that was held responsiblefor my mum's drinking. I was the one that was
held responsible for my sibling being who theyare. I was the one that was a terrible child.
My dad said that to me on more than one occasion.When I would question why things were the way
they were, he'd say, well, what do you expect?You are a terrible child. When I asked him

(00:53):
about, I was talking to him about mum drinkingand I told him about mum's drinking. And his
response was, well, you're a terrible daughter,so of course she drinks.
And that was kind of, it's weird, but that wasmy upbringing. If I did something, so if I

(01:14):
did something nice, or if I was happy, if Iwas fun, or if I was playful, I would, there
were times where I would get punished for it.And if I did something wrong and I was bad,
then I would get punished for it. And when you'reraised in this environment where it doesn't
matter whether you're happy or sad, you getpunished, you start to go, well, I can't be

(01:37):
happy or sad. So I just better stop being bothof those things. And then you start numbing
yourself out. So you stop being creative. Youstop playing, you stop laughing, you stop having
fun. But you also stop doing things that getyou into trouble. So then you just live in

(01:57):
this very small, small box with a voice in yourhead that just constantly says, don't do that,
you'll get punished.
school, my three best friends in high schoolbecame my enemies. They became my bullies.
I had terrible relationships with men who werereally emotionally abusive. Anytime I tried

(02:25):
to strive at something, it would fail. I amvery well known in my family as being just
the one that fails at everything, has bad relationships,doesn't hold down a job. doesn't succeed at
anything, doesn't achieve anything. It's basicallyruined my entire life. This episode will go

(02:52):
live this coming Monday. Don't forget to followus on Instagram at LVL Popcast. Please like,
rate, and review. other people can also hearthese stories.