Fatha Torch: Be the Dad You Wish You Had
FATHA TORCH is the podcast to help you cope with the anxiety and stress of fatherhood so that you can be the dad you always wish you had. Each episode is an open discussion about fatherhood and the struggles we face as Black men in America. Topics include self-love, raising sons vs daughters, the child support system, emotional trauma from toxic relationships, societal injustices and reentry after incarceration. Hosted by Rah, a father of nine children, artist and founder of Abimilechh Foundation in Rochester, NY.
Episodes
December 3, 2023 • 27 mins
Ep. 28 Unravel the mysterious phrase "Never Let Your Left Hand Know What Your Right Hand Is Doing." From parenting to interpersonal dynamics, we'll discuss how it encourages trust, open communication, and a balance between individual autonomy and shared responsibilities.
Discover the origins of this phrase, rooted in the biblical teachings of the Gospel of Matthew (6:3), where Jesus advises doing acts of charity in secret. We'll de...
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November 23, 2023 • 31 mins
Ep 9 Fear-based assumptions can lead to a parent-child relationship of pain, drama and heartache for all involved. As fathers we often lash out at our kids in order to protect them from the unknown, or to prevent them from getting involved with something that we don't understand but are afraid to admit it.
In this episode let's explore another way to approach fatherhood in the New Year
1. What does it mean for a father to actively ...
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November 23, 2023 • 29 mins
Ep. 17 This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance on discipline and communication with their children.
In today's society, many parents walk around on eggshells, and it seems like fathers have no authority when it comes to raising the kids. As an advocate for traditional fatherhood, I have dedicated myself to helping other parents like you reclaim your power and raise kids who respect and obey you.
It's important t...
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November 23, 2023 • 36 mins
Ep 6 Does toxic masculinity impact on a man's mental health? Carl Binger and Joel Lesses have some theories.
In this episode you'll learn
1. How men and women experience and cope with depression differently
2. The influence of rap music on mental health and depression
3. The importance of nature and wilderness in mental health and depression
4. Who has the best chicken wings, Buffalo or Rochester, NY
RESOURCES:
Book: Spiritual D...
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November 23, 2023 • 23 mins
Ep. 18 This episode is a tribute to my grandparents who have shaped my life as Fatha Torch, a beacon of light for the next generation. As a father, I believe it is important to honor our elders and learn from their wisdom, especially in these challenging times. In this episode, you will learn:
How honoring your elders is a way of embracing and uplifting our generations
How to connect with your elders and listen to their stories
...
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September 17, 2023 • 22 mins
Ep. 27 We must recognize that many of us lack self-awareness and struggle to comprehend the repercussions of losing control, and the importance of practicing self-discipline. To establish a healthy relationship with oneself and others, one must exert self-control and manage one's thoughts, which various emotional and developmental factors can influence. This is especially important to consider as a man and a father in today's world...
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September 4, 2023 • 32 mins
Ep. 26 Relationship 101 provides us with the hope that our values and worth will be acknowledged by someone. It is equally crucial to deeply understand ourselves and the aspects we hold in high regard. It is important to make sure that these values are respected by our partners. Otherwise, we risk compromising our own sense of self-worth and integrity. It is also essential to be open to learning from our partner and growing togethe...
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August 20, 2023 • 32 mins
Ep. 25 The concept of fatherhood is a joke to many people and systems that govern our society. We have the right to procreate, but our rights to nurture, discipline and guide our children is slipping away every day.
In this episode Fatha Torch will help you reclaim your power and authority as a man and be the dad you wish you had.
1: Fathers' Rights and Duties:
- Discuss fathers' legal and societal rights regarding parenting, cust...
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August 6, 2023 • 32 mins
Ep. 24 The idea of taking responsibility and being accountable can be intimidating for men who struggle with abandonment issues and commitment-related traumas. Some simply don't care about life or its lessons and behave poorly as a result. It is necessary to break these negative patterns and move on with life, taking responsibility for one's actions and learning from mistakes. This is ultimately the only way to lead a fulfilling an...
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July 23, 2023 • 34 mins
Ep. 23 Being a father requires possessing proper guidance, self-control, and discipline. Discipline should be viewed as a tool to impart knowledge to children about making better decisions in the future rather than punishment. Communicating expectations and consequences calmly, firmly, and consistently is essential to ensure the child comprehends. It's crucial for both parents to work together to ensure the best possible outcome fo...
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July 9, 2023 • 31 mins
Ep. 22 Translating forgiveness can be a challenging process, especially when grappling with emotions such as regret, anger, and confusion. It's crucial to clearly understand oneself to avoid getting lost in a world of pain.
Taking the time to forgive is important in accepting the situation and moving forward in your journey to be the dad you wish you had. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting but rather understanding and accepting wh...
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June 10, 2023 • 40 mins
Ep. 21 Growing up without a father I found myself setting unrealistic expectations on other men in my life, trying to fill the void my father left. But there were always disappointments because those men simply could not give me the things my soul longed for. It wasn't until I learned to set realistic expectations for myself, my partner and my children that I could truly embrace my goal of being the dad I wish I had.
In this episod...
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May 28, 2023 • 32 mins
Ep. 20 As fathers, it's imperative that we possess a deep understanding of ourselves. The archaic notion of relying on guesswork to ascertain our worth and capabilities is a thing of the past. We must be cognizant of our duties and rights as fathers, and we shouldn't have to be reminded of this simply because we are fathers. Because we are men, it is our duty to protect our loved ones from any imminent danger without any apologies....
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May 15, 2023 • 30 mins
Ep. 19 Do you want to leave a positive legacy by shaping and guiding the next generation? As 'young elders' we can empower and inspire the youth to reach their full potential and become the leaders of tomorrow.
In this episode of Fatha Torch, I, Rah, delve into the topic of the importance of becoming an elder and sharing wisdom with younger generations. As a father and mentor myself, I understand the need to pass down knowledge ...
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April 2, 2023 • 32 mins
Ep. 16 Sitting in our favorite pizza joint, Create a Pizza, I felt a sense of peace as we shared a vegan meatball pizza. Little did I know, I was about to embark on a journey that would forever change my understanding of masculinity and empathy. As I conversed with my wife, I realized I had to adapt my behaviors to be a better husband and father. But what happened next was truly unexpected and has left me with a newfound appreciati...
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March 19, 2023 • 26 mins
Ep. 15 Your dad was an asshole, alcoholic, abuser or just not around to teach you how to be a good man right? So it's up to us the be the change we wish to see in the next generation of fathers.
I was surrounded by men who were a waste of time, women who blocked the teaching of fatherhood, and people who were more excited to see a stranger than me.
I realized I needed to learn how to be patient with my children, treasure them, p...
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March 5, 2023 • 30 mins
Ep 14 Men fear being unable to provide, being questioned as fathers, and being unable to protect our loved ones. Men often express fear in destructive ways such as aggression and anger, instead of vulnerability. As men we must be mindful of how we express our fear, as it can stifle the growth of relationships and cause resentment. Instead of relying on fear, we should focus on pouring love and protection into our relationships.
"L...
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February 19, 2023 • 32 mins
Ep. 13 I was once plagued by the question, "Am I a good father?" I asked myself if I was a good man and what it meant to be a good father.
After much thought and research, I realized that being a good father means having principles and characteristics such as protecting, loving, reasoning and being patient. It also means being willing to learn and humble yourself, while also being teachable and understanding of your child's mother....
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January 28, 2023 • 38 mins
Ep. 12 In part 2 of his conversation with Kelly Marie, we embark on a journey of self-discovery, learning how to embrace anger, forgive those who have hurt you and relinquish guilt while navigating the complexities of relationships with parents, siblings and even other people who are living with mental health conditions.
In this episode we discuss:
1. How art and old cartoons can help you cope with depression.
2. How to identify ...
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January 15, 2023 • 27 mins
Episode 11: About last year.... Have faith in yourself. Believe in your abilities to make ends meet, to strive. Lower your pride and lower your ego, that you may do better this year.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
What are the double standards men face in today's social climate, and what can fathers do to help themselves and their children?
How can fathers practice self-love, gratitude, and protect their famil...
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