how to set better boundaries for your mental health

have you ever said "yes" to a commitment, knowing that it might hurt your mental health? sometimes, it's hard to say "no" to people out of fear of disappointing them. the magic of this two-letter word is powerful for our mental health and can help us prioritize ourselves and our recovery. today, let's discuss why we struggle to say no, the impact that this has on our mental health, and how to practice healthy boundaries with others. welcome back to Feel Your Feelings with Ethan Jewell.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Have you ever said yes to something you knew would drain
you simply because you didn't want to disappoint someone?
Or maybe you've agreed to help out a friend, take on extra
work, or attend an event when deep down you felt overwhelmed
and exhausted? If this sounds familiar, you are
not alone. The inability to say no is

(00:21):
something many of us struggle with, but remember you don't
have to be everything to everyone all the time.
Learning to set boundaries and protect your mental health is
one of the most important skillsyou can develop.
Today we're diving into the art of saying no and why it's
essential for your mental well-being.

(00:43):
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
Feelings. Today we're talking about the
empowering 2 letter word no. We live in a world where people
pleasing and stretching yourselfthin is often praised with
friends. It's socially established that

(01:05):
you're seen in a positive light as someone who's always there
for everyone at the workplace. If you stretch yourself thin,
you're a hard worker, but in reality you're burnt out,
stressed and struggling by over committing at the expenses of
your own well-being. Yes, it can feel nice to always
be included and never miss a moment of action, but in

(01:27):
reality, saying no is more than just setting a boundary, it's an
act of self-care and self respect.
So how can saying no change yourlife for the better?
First, let's address the root ofthe problem, why we struggle to
say no. Well, if we're being honest, a

(01:49):
lot of the struggle comes from societal pressure.
We avoid saying no because we are afraid of letting others
down. We fear being seen as selfish
and disappointing others who hadexpectations for us.
We're wired to seek approval from others, and saying no feels
like you're shutting the other person down and risking

(02:11):
disapproval. This fear is especially strong
if you grew up feeling responsible for other people's
happiness. Maybe your parents instilled
this feeling on you and you felta pressure to make them happy.
Maybe it comes from insecurity. In early relationships, yourself
worth may be tied to how helpfulyou seem to others.

(02:33):
There's also often a sense of guilt and obligation that comes
with requests from others. The guilt kicks in when we
consider saying no because we think that we need to be there
for them. Maybe we've been there to help
them in the past or we think that we are their go to person.
Maybe the guilt or worry is thatwe're leaving them hanging and

(02:54):
not spending enough time with them, therefore becoming less
important to them. However, constantly giving into
this guilt can leave us feeling exhausted and overextended.
Doing something out of guilt takes away our free will and
instead forces us to conform into something we don't even

(03:16):
want to do. Because of these pressures and
worries, we often find ourselvessaying yes too often.
Yes to Hangouts we're too drained to attend, yes to work
that we don't want to do. Yes to events that we don't want
to go to. We overload our schedules and

(03:39):
leave little room for ourselves and risk emotional burnout.
Taking on too many responsibilities or
disrespecting your own boundaries for the needs of
others can put you into survivalmode.
With no energy to recharge or reflect on your own needs, we
risk losing sight of who we are and what we actually want.

(04:04):
If we're constantly trying to beeverything for everyone, we lose
sight of how to be us for ourselves.
This may sound dramatic, but when you're constantly worried
about fulfilling other people's needs, there's no room for you
to fulfill your own. And over time, this can damage

(04:26):
our relationships and make us feel powerless over our own
lives. So how do we solve this problem
and start saying that simple 2 letter word?
No, you don't have to make drastic changes overnight.
As with many topics and mental health, you can start very
small. Start by saying no to smaller

(04:48):
requests or commitments and workyour way up.
Be honest but respectful. Something as simple as I'd love
to help or hang out but I'm emotionally drained and need
some time for myself is a powerful way to assert
boundaries without shifting blame to the other person.
Reassure them that it's not their fault and that their

(05:09):
presence isn't a burden. You just need some time to
yourself. But also don't be afraid to just
say no without justification or over explanation.
A simple, clear, respectful response is often enough.
Boundaries are about protecting your well-being, not about
managing other people's feelings.

(05:29):
This is a line you will learn towalk over time.
We often feel like we need to micromanage how other people
will feel and in turn end up minimizing our own needs to fit
their agenda. Learning to say no is an act of
self-care, a way of preserving your mental health, and most
importantly, a way to stay true to yourself.

(05:52):
It's not about shutting people out, it's about making sure that
when you say yes, it's from a place of genuine willingness and
capacity, not out of fear or obligation.
Start small, be kind to yourself, and remember that your
mental health is worth protecting.

(06:12):
You deserve peace and boundaries.
You deserve to not be everythingto everyone that's going to wrap
it up for today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. If you need help feeling your
feelings, please check out my music on all platforms under the
name of Ethan Jewel. And I almost guarantee it could

(06:33):
make you cry. I just had a new single come out
and it's called Do you Want to Fall in Love?
And I think it's really great and you should check it out.
Also, please shoot me a message on my Instagram at Jewel Boy
with an I under score and let meknow what you thought about
today's episode. So thank you so much for being
here. Thank you for understanding the
need to respect your own boundaries and put yourself 1st.

(06:55):
And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
I'll see you next time.