May 30, 2025 • 11 mins
why do you feel like you're healing one day, and then back to square one the next day? why is mental health recovery SO unpredictable? why can you not just... heal? today, we'll discuss the ups and downs of mental health recovery and unpack how to be okay with not being consistent.
Welcome back to Feel Your Feelings with Ethan Jewell! I'm not a psychologist, a doctor, or a mental health professional. Instead, I'm here to guide you through the world of mental health from a casual, relatable lens. I've been there, I've felt that, and I understand what you're feeling. Let's feel some feelings.
Poetry book and more on my website: www.ethanjewell.com
IG: @jewellboi_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Yesterday I was having a really good day and then today I
suddenly was hit with that same familiar feeling of just
heaviness and not having any motivation to do anything and
just frankly feeling depressed. And yet the week before that I
was feeling amazing all the time, and the week before that I
(00:21):
couldn't get out of bed all week.
And frankly, it doesn't make sense.
I thought that healing was supposed to be consistent.
It was supposed to be a journey where I'm taking steps every
single day towards a positive, better mental health.
But that's not the case. Healing often doesn't make
(00:42):
sense. And you'll feel OK one day and
then totally not feel OK the other day.
And that is OK. You're not broken, you're just
learning. You're learning what hurts you,
what triggers you. You're learning how to be OK.
(01:03):
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
Feelings. I know that you know exactly
what feeling I'm talking about. How one day you wake up feeling
motivated and light, hopeful, and then literally the next day
it just all hits you like a waveand you don't want to get out of
bed and you're suddenly anxious and numb and just sad for what
(01:27):
feels like no reason. You find yourself wondering
what's wrong with me? Why am I not able to just be OK?
Why is it so inconsistent? And it, it's frustrating to feel
this way, but that's what it's like to be human.
That's what it's like to want tobetter yourself and to heal.
So if you felt this way, you arein the exact right spot because
(01:51):
I have felt this way and I know exactly what it feels like.
I still feel this way. And we need to accept the fact
that this is a normal part of healing.
I want to remind you, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist,
I'm not a professional in the mental health industry
whatsoever. But sometimes that's exactly who
you need to hear it from. Someone who's been there, who's
(02:13):
felt what you've felt and is slowly healing alongside you.
So let's talk about it. We have this idea, probably
thanks to social media and movies and unrealistic self help
books and motivational speakers,that healing looks like a
straight upward line, like we'reconstantly climbing out of our
(02:34):
darkness and into the light. You know, day by day we get a
little bit better, a little bit stronger, and we keep just
becoming a better version of ourselves.
But in reality, healing, mental health, emotions, all of it it,
it almost never moves in straight lines.
It moves in loops and spirals and zigzags.
It's more like a roller coaster than a staircase.
(02:56):
And if you zoom in too close, ifyou judge yourself based on
today's dip, you're going to miss the bigger picture.
That's the problem with thinkingon this.
Well, yesterday I felt fine. Or last week I felt fine and now
I don't. What's wrong with me?
You're not back to square 1. Just because you're having a bad
(03:16):
day emotionally, mentally, that doesn't mean you've gone
backwards. It just means you're a person
with a nervous system, a person with feelings, a person who's
trying to get better. Imagine your healing like you're
recovering from a physical injury.
Let's say you sprained your ankle.
One day you might feel good enough to walk a little bit.
(03:38):
The next day, maybe you push toohard and now it's sore again.
That doesn't mean that healing didn't happen.
It just means the process isn't finished yet.
Mental health is no different. So if we judge day by day, if we
zoom in too much and we judge our mental health based on how
we feel today versus how we feltwhen we were seemingly, quote,
getting better, we will have a harsh and unrealistic view of
(04:01):
how we are feeling. When we compare the absolute
high of the week or the absolutehigh of the month, the best that
we've felt to how we feel now, we feel like we've not made any
progress. We feel like we've gone
completely backwards, but that'snot the case.
Just because you feel bad today doesn't mean that you haven't
learned things about yourself. This is how healing works.
(04:22):
It's up and then it's right backdown.
But all of that is just as important.
Part of understanding that up and down is understanding the
role of triggers and cycles. Some days your environment or
your subconscious might trigger something within you without you
(04:43):
even realizing it, and it might cause you to spiral.
Or it might cause you to have a bad day or a bad week or a bad
month. It could be the anniversary of
something painful, even if you're not consciously thinking
about it. It could be that your body's
tired. Maybe you just didn't sleep
well. Maybe you scrolled through
something online that quietly chipped away at your confidence
and made you feel bad. We, we carry so much inside.
(05:06):
We are such complex beings, memories, traumas, stress, even
generational patterns, that not every emotional wave is going to
come with a neat little explanation.
As you try to heal your mental health, you're going to have ups
and downs. You're going to have good days
and you're going to have bad days.
And it's all about being OK withthat.
(05:28):
It's about being OK with not being OK when you were OK last
week. I know it's a jumble of words to
say, but that's the reality. You don't need to explain every
feeling to validate it. You just need to allow it.
So next time you catch yourself struggling again, next time you
catch yourself having an off dayafter having a really good week,
(05:50):
don't beat yourself up. Don't try to reach for an
explanation. Don't sit there going ah, what
is wrong with me? Instead, just validate that
feeling. Allow it to exist.
You don't need to explain it away, You just need to feel it.
That's it. And it's OK.
It's normal and it's a part of healing.
I've been there. I've had days where I'm on top
(06:12):
of the world and I'm writing andI'm creating and connecting with
people. I'm thinking, yes, this is it,
I've I've figured it out. I'm finally better.
And then the next morning hits and suddenly I feel empty again.
Like everything I accomplished the day before doesn't count
anymore. But the truth is, both versions
(06:34):
of me are real, and both versions of me are allowed to
coexist. The happy, inspired Ethan and
the quiet, heavy depressed Ethan.
They're not opposites, they're just parts of a whole. 1 doesn't
cancel out the other just because you have an off day.
(06:54):
Just because you feel sad one day doesn't mean that you
suddenly aren't capable of healing, or you aren't capable
of feeling good. That bad doesn't cancel out the
good that you've been working towards.
And you are allowed to be inconsistent.
Let me say that again, you are allowed to be inconsistent.
We live in a world that worshipsconsistency, daily routines and
(07:20):
perfect habits, productivity. The age of social media has has
encouraged the grind set so much.
It's encouraged. These perfect morning routines
and those things, they can be helpful for sure.
But if you're measuring your worth based on how steady you
are, you're always going to feellike you're falling.
(07:40):
Being human is not being steady.We move in waves.
Think of the moon, it has phases.
The seasons, they change. Trees lose their leaves for a
while while blooming again. Nothing in nature is on all the
time. Why should you be?
(08:00):
Don't hold yourself to such an impossible standard of always
being OK. Don't hold yourself to such an
impossible standard of always getting better and better and
better than you were the day before.
You're going to have off days with your mental health.
You're going to have days and weeks, even months, maybe years
(08:20):
where you feel worse than you have.
But that doesn't mean that you're not growing, and it
doesn't mean that you're not healing.
It's all a part of the process, no matter how painful and
frustrating it may be. So what do we do on those off
days? First, I encourage you to zoom
(08:42):
out. Remind yourself that these off
days are a part of a bigger story, and you're not defined by
how you feel today. Just like one cloudy day doesn't
cancel out summer, this low moment doesn't erase your
progress. Then maybe lower the bar for
yourself a little bit. You're allowed to do that.
You don't have to fix your life today.
(09:03):
You don't have to force out joy.Maybe the wind today is just
brushing your teeth and drinkingsome water and saying I'm not OK
out loud. That's still progress.
That's still being aware of yourfeelings.
That's still healing. And don't shame yourself for
feeling bad. It sounds simple, but this one
is really important. If you can meet your hard day
with curiosity instead of judgement, everything changes.
(09:25):
Instead of what's wrong with me,try.
Hey, what do I need right now? What can I do for myself?
What can I do to help myself in this low moment?
It's OK to feel bad. Be there for yourself the same
way that you would be there for a friend.
And finally, remember that it passes.
You've felt joy before, peace and contentment, even if just
(09:48):
for a second or a day. That means you can feel those
things again. Emotions are visitors.
They show up, stay a while and leave.
You don't have to build a house for them.
You just have to be OK with themcoming by.
You just have to feel them, validate them.
You don't owe them anything. You can coexist with these
(10:09):
emotions as they come and they go.
I just want to remind you that you're not alone in this
feeling. I think it's a really isolating
feeling to be wondering why you feel bad one day and good the
next. It's confusing and it's
isolating, but you're not the only one.
Most people are quietly riding these emotional roller coasters.
(10:30):
Most just don't talk about it. But here on this podcast, we
talk about it and we feel our feelings.
Because you deserve to feel seen, even in your messiest
moment. So if today is a down day or if
tomorrow turns into one, just know you're not starting over.
You're not broken, you're not weak, you're just a feeling
(10:53):
human being and you're navigating life and it's
unpredictable and it's messy andit's emotional and that's OK.
You're doing better than you think.
You don't have to have it all figured out in this moment.
It will pass. It's OK to not be OK.
(11:15):
That's going to wrap it up for today's episode.
Thank you so much for being here.
If you need help feeling your feelings, you should check out
my music on all platforms under the name of Ethan Jewell.
I almost guarantee it'll make you cry.
Also, drop me a comment. Let me know what you thought
about today's episode. I'd love to hear your thoughts
about this up and down this emotional roller coaster that
all of us go through. So thank you so much for being
(11:37):
here. Thank you for understanding that
it's OK to feel great one day and not so much the next.
And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
I'll see you next time.
Yesterday I was having a really good day and then today I
suddenly was hit with that same familiar feeling of just
heaviness and not having any motivation to do anything and
just frankly feeling depressed. And yet the week before that I
was feeling amazing all the time, and the week before that I
(00:21):
couldn't get out of bed all week.
And frankly, it doesn't make sense.
I thought that healing was supposed to be consistent.
It was supposed to be a journey where I'm taking steps every
single day towards a positive, better mental health.
But that's not the case. Healing often doesn't make
(00:42):
sense. And you'll feel OK one day and
then totally not feel OK the other day.
And that is OK. You're not broken, you're just
learning. You're learning what hurts you,
what triggers you. You're learning how to be OK.
(01:03):
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
Feelings. I know that you know exactly
what feeling I'm talking about. How one day you wake up feeling
motivated and light, hopeful, and then literally the next day
it just all hits you like a waveand you don't want to get out of
bed and you're suddenly anxious and numb and just sad for what
(01:27):
feels like no reason. You find yourself wondering
what's wrong with me? Why am I not able to just be OK?
Why is it so inconsistent? And it, it's frustrating to feel
this way, but that's what it's like to be human.
That's what it's like to want tobetter yourself and to heal.
So if you felt this way, you arein the exact right spot because
(01:51):
I have felt this way and I know exactly what it feels like.
I still feel this way. And we need to accept the fact
that this is a normal part of healing.
I want to remind you, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist,
I'm not a professional in the mental health industry
whatsoever. But sometimes that's exactly who
you need to hear it from. Someone who's been there, who's
(02:13):
felt what you've felt and is slowly healing alongside you.
So let's talk about it. We have this idea, probably
thanks to social media and movies and unrealistic self help
books and motivational speakers,that healing looks like a
straight upward line, like we'reconstantly climbing out of our
(02:34):
darkness and into the light. You know, day by day we get a
little bit better, a little bit stronger, and we keep just
becoming a better version of ourselves.
But in reality, healing, mental health, emotions, all of it it,
it almost never moves in straight lines.
It moves in loops and spirals and zigzags.
It's more like a roller coaster than a staircase.
(02:56):
And if you zoom in too close, ifyou judge yourself based on
today's dip, you're going to miss the bigger picture.
That's the problem with thinkingon this.
Well, yesterday I felt fine. Or last week I felt fine and now
I don't. What's wrong with me?
You're not back to square 1. Just because you're having a bad
(03:16):
day emotionally, mentally, that doesn't mean you've gone
backwards. It just means you're a person
with a nervous system, a person with feelings, a person who's
trying to get better. Imagine your healing like you're
recovering from a physical injury.
Let's say you sprained your ankle.
One day you might feel good enough to walk a little bit.
(03:38):
The next day, maybe you push toohard and now it's sore again.
That doesn't mean that healing didn't happen.
It just means the process isn't finished yet.
Mental health is no different. So if we judge day by day, if we
zoom in too much and we judge our mental health based on how
we feel today versus how we feltwhen we were seemingly, quote,
getting better, we will have a harsh and unrealistic view of
(04:01):
how we are feeling. When we compare the absolute
high of the week or the absolutehigh of the month, the best that
we've felt to how we feel now, we feel like we've not made any
progress. We feel like we've gone
completely backwards, but that'snot the case.
Just because you feel bad today doesn't mean that you haven't
learned things about yourself. This is how healing works.
(04:22):
It's up and then it's right backdown.
But all of that is just as important.
Part of understanding that up and down is understanding the
role of triggers and cycles. Some days your environment or
your subconscious might trigger something within you without you
(04:43):
even realizing it, and it might cause you to spiral.
Or it might cause you to have a bad day or a bad week or a bad
month. It could be the anniversary of
something painful, even if you're not consciously thinking
about it. It could be that your body's
tired. Maybe you just didn't sleep
well. Maybe you scrolled through
something online that quietly chipped away at your confidence
and made you feel bad. We, we carry so much inside.
(05:06):
We are such complex beings, memories, traumas, stress, even
generational patterns, that not every emotional wave is going to
come with a neat little explanation.
As you try to heal your mental health, you're going to have ups
and downs. You're going to have good days
and you're going to have bad days.
And it's all about being OK withthat.
(05:28):
It's about being OK with not being OK when you were OK last
week. I know it's a jumble of words to
say, but that's the reality. You don't need to explain every
feeling to validate it. You just need to allow it.
So next time you catch yourself struggling again, next time you
catch yourself having an off dayafter having a really good week,
(05:50):
don't beat yourself up. Don't try to reach for an
explanation. Don't sit there going ah, what
is wrong with me? Instead, just validate that
feeling. Allow it to exist.
You don't need to explain it away, You just need to feel it.
That's it. And it's OK.
It's normal and it's a part of healing.
I've been there. I've had days where I'm on top
(06:12):
of the world and I'm writing andI'm creating and connecting with
people. I'm thinking, yes, this is it,
I've I've figured it out. I'm finally better.
And then the next morning hits and suddenly I feel empty again.
Like everything I accomplished the day before doesn't count
anymore. But the truth is, both versions
(06:34):
of me are real, and both versions of me are allowed to
coexist. The happy, inspired Ethan and
the quiet, heavy depressed Ethan.
They're not opposites, they're just parts of a whole. 1 doesn't
cancel out the other just because you have an off day.
(06:54):
Just because you feel sad one day doesn't mean that you
suddenly aren't capable of healing, or you aren't capable
of feeling good. That bad doesn't cancel out the
good that you've been working towards.
And you are allowed to be inconsistent.
Let me say that again, you are allowed to be inconsistent.
We live in a world that worshipsconsistency, daily routines and
(07:20):
perfect habits, productivity. The age of social media has has
encouraged the grind set so much.
It's encouraged. These perfect morning routines
and those things, they can be helpful for sure.
But if you're measuring your worth based on how steady you
are, you're always going to feellike you're falling.
(07:40):
Being human is not being steady.We move in waves.
Think of the moon, it has phases.
The seasons, they change. Trees lose their leaves for a
while while blooming again. Nothing in nature is on all the
time. Why should you be?
(08:00):
Don't hold yourself to such an impossible standard of always
being OK. Don't hold yourself to such an
impossible standard of always getting better and better and
better than you were the day before.
You're going to have off days with your mental health.
You're going to have days and weeks, even months, maybe years
(08:20):
where you feel worse than you have.
But that doesn't mean that you're not growing, and it
doesn't mean that you're not healing.
It's all a part of the process, no matter how painful and
frustrating it may be. So what do we do on those off
days? First, I encourage you to zoom
(08:42):
out. Remind yourself that these off
days are a part of a bigger story, and you're not defined by
how you feel today. Just like one cloudy day doesn't
cancel out summer, this low moment doesn't erase your
progress. Then maybe lower the bar for
yourself a little bit. You're allowed to do that.
You don't have to fix your life today.
(09:03):
You don't have to force out joy.Maybe the wind today is just
brushing your teeth and drinkingsome water and saying I'm not OK
out loud. That's still progress.
That's still being aware of yourfeelings.
That's still healing. And don't shame yourself for
feeling bad. It sounds simple, but this one
is really important. If you can meet your hard day
with curiosity instead of judgement, everything changes.
(09:25):
Instead of what's wrong with me,try.
Hey, what do I need right now? What can I do for myself?
What can I do to help myself in this low moment?
It's OK to feel bad. Be there for yourself the same
way that you would be there for a friend.
And finally, remember that it passes.
You've felt joy before, peace and contentment, even if just
(09:48):
for a second or a day. That means you can feel those
things again. Emotions are visitors.
They show up, stay a while and leave.
You don't have to build a house for them.
You just have to be OK with themcoming by.
You just have to feel them, validate them.
You don't owe them anything. You can coexist with these
(10:09):
emotions as they come and they go.
I just want to remind you that you're not alone in this
feeling. I think it's a really isolating
feeling to be wondering why you feel bad one day and good the
next. It's confusing and it's
isolating, but you're not the only one.
Most people are quietly riding these emotional roller coasters.
(10:30):
Most just don't talk about it. But here on this podcast, we
talk about it and we feel our feelings.
Because you deserve to feel seen, even in your messiest
moment. So if today is a down day or if
tomorrow turns into one, just know you're not starting over.
You're not broken, you're not weak, you're just a feeling
(10:53):
human being and you're navigating life and it's
unpredictable and it's messy andit's emotional and that's OK.
You're doing better than you think.
You don't have to have it all figured out in this moment.
It will pass. It's OK to not be OK.
(11:15):
That's going to wrap it up for today's episode.
Thank you so much for being here.
If you need help feeling your feelings, you should check out
my music on all platforms under the name of Ethan Jewell.
I almost guarantee it'll make you cry.
Also, drop me a comment. Let me know what you thought
about today's episode. I'd love to hear your thoughts
about this up and down this emotional roller coaster that
all of us go through. So thank you so much for being
(11:37):
here. Thank you for understanding that
it's OK to feel great one day and not so much the next.
And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
I'll see you next time.
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