May 8, 2024 • 10 mins
do you struggle to live in the moment? do you find yourself reminiscing in and living in the past? maybe you're often worrying about the future? if so, this episode is for you. living in the right NOW is one of the best things we can do for our mental health. everything you need is right in front of you. let's talk about it.
Feel Your Feelings with Ethan Jewell
Website: www.ethanjewell.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When I was younger, I desperately wanted to live in
the future. I wanted to be older.
I couldn't wait to be an adult. I couldn't wait to have all the
responsibilities that come with it.
And now that I am older, that I'm an adult, I think about the
past a lot more. And I think about what it was
like to be a young kid and how enjoyable it was.
(00:20):
Many of us, myself included, seem to have this odd obsession
with the past or with the future.
We don't want to live in the right now.
We want to look back or forwards.
But why is that? Let's talk about it.
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
(00:40):
Feelings. Time is an interesting thing,
and it's something that all of us experience.
Time will always keep moving no matter what, but a lot of us
have an obsession with certain aspects of time, for example,
the future or the past. I've met a lot of people who are
always, always living in the past.
(01:03):
For example, maybe older men whoare always reminiscing on their
days of, say, high school football and saying that they
could have gone pro, you know they're living inside of the
past. Or I meet people my age who are
talking about their future and how they can't wait to get
married and grow up and have a have a real job and all these
different things. So many people that I know are
(01:25):
constantly living somewhere elseother than now, and on the
surface that seems fine. But as somebody who has done
that for years and still does that to this day, I can tell you
it is not as pleasant or as innocent as it may seem.
I want to remind you, I'm not a doctor.
I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not a professional in the
mental health industry. I'm just a normal guy who has
(01:48):
felt a lot of big feelings and wants to open the conversation.
And today, I want to open the conversation on the importance
of living in the now and why we should avoid living in the past
and avoid living in the future. After all, the past is just a
memory and living in the past can cause depression.
The future is just a thought, and living in the future is
(02:10):
anxiety. What happens when we live inside
of each of these? No amount of worrying,
anticipation, or anxiety will change the future.
That's just a fact that we all have to accept.
What will happen, will happen. The world has a funny way of
making sure things work out how they're meant to.
And if you spend all your time focusing on the what if you will
(02:34):
never move forward properly? And let me explain what I mean
by this. It may seem super innocent to
always be anticipating, to always be planning, to always be
looking for the next step. In fact, we're often taught that
we should look forward, We should be saving.
We should be looking for our next move, for our next job,
looking out for the future of our friendships or our
(02:54):
relationships. And that's true to an extent.
Yes, you should be aware of the future.
But if you live in the future and you get caught up in the
what if you will never be able to healthily move forward
through life? You will be so caught up on
making the quote right decision on doing the right thing,
(03:16):
meaning the right people that you will miss the fact that all
of that is right in front of you.
The correct decisions are whatever decisions you make and
move forward with. The right thing to do is
whatever choice you make. When you live in the future.
You are discrediting every decision you make, every moment
(03:36):
of the day. You are second guessing every
single thing that you do. Imagine if a friend of yours
planned a fun day out for the two of you along the way.
Every time they suggest something to do, you start
going. I don't know if that's a great
idea or I I don't know if that'sthe right thing for us to do.
Maybe they suggest something fordinner and you immediately say,
(03:57):
well, what if there's a better option?
What if we're meant to eat somewhere else?
Would that make for a fun, productive day with that friend,
or would it lead to more anxietyin the friendship and an overall
feeling of uneasiness or distrust?
Of course it would be the 2nd. So why do you talk that way to
(04:19):
yourself? Why do you doubt every move that
you make? Because there may be a better
one? Is it because you don't trust
yourself or because you are so scared of what could be?
So many of us don't realize whenwe're living in the future it is
(04:40):
because we are riddled with anxiety.
We're so anxious about what's coming, we're so unsure, and we
lack the confidence to move forward without that constant
worry. This is something that I'm still
working on to this day. The future is unsure and that is
scary. So I remind myself what could be
(05:03):
will happen no matter what. We cannot stop the natural flow
of life. Even if you hideaway from
everything, life will still moveon without you.
That's the truth. I often feel paralyzed at the
thought of the future, so much that it's stopped me from
working on my future altogether in my head.
Time is moving so quickly. Everything seems so random that
(05:26):
there's no point in continuing, no point in moving forward.
This podcast, for example, I've thought about quitting dozens of
times purely because the future is uncertain.
I don't know if this is going anywhere.
I don't know if it will do anything.
But I've accepted this, and you should too.
The future will come regardless,so why not have something to
(05:47):
show for it? Why not take that risk?
Why not take the path less travelled?
The future is one thing, but living inside of the past is an
entirely different beast. So let's talk about what happens
when we live in the past. No amount of anguish, no amount
(06:07):
of mourning, no amount of yearning will change the past.
What's done is done. And I know reminiscing may not
seem like a bad thing after all.What's so bad about sifting
through memories and simply thinking about what has been?
However, if you keep living in the past constantly, I don't
mean thinking about memories. I mean reliving them.
(06:27):
I mean yearning for them. You will find yourself in a pit
of absolute depression. You will feel like a failure.
You will be unable to focus on the what is because of how
caught up you are in the what has been.
If you struggle with living in the past, as I often have,
there's a big reason for it. A majority of the time, the
(06:50):
reason we live in the past is because we miss or regret
something. Maybe we miss a person, a place,
a pet, a thing. Maybe we regret how we treated
someone, how we treated ourselves, how we let someone
treat us. Maybe we're just reminiscing and
living through memories every day.
It's fine to respect what has happened in our past and
(07:11):
remember. But if you become obsessed with
the past, you start to play withthe idea that maybe the past was
better, maybe things were betterthan and you shouldn't be as
happy and content now. Maybe you will not find a new
partner because your last partner was so good.
Maybe you can't be happy now because of how happy you were in
(07:32):
the past. Maybe you cannot live now
because of how your life was back then.
This inevitably leads into depression.
You have to learn how to respectand sift through these memories
without living in them. Your purpose is not to forget
the past because there are happyand sad memories that were part
(07:54):
of your life, but instead to letthem go.
The past teaches you what mistakes to make and how to grow
from them. That is the use of reminiscing,
Not to tear yourself apart with regrets and bad memories, but
instead to build yourself together from them.
I know it's very cliche to say that the past should be a
(08:15):
teacher. We've heard that a lot from
psychologists or great leaders. But I'm here as somebody, just
like you, as someone who has experienced this reminiscing as
somebody who still struggles to live in the now to this day.
The main use of the past is to learn.
You know, there's a reason we study history, for example.
(08:37):
It's to learn and not make the same mistakes, and your history
is no different. So don't be afraid to reminisce.
Don't be afraid to learn and think, but don't get so caught
up in your memories that you live in the what was instead of
the what is. Living in the now is the only
(08:58):
way to live. Without an active focus on
what's happening right now, you will go through your days blind
and unaware. Living in the future will make
you doubt the path you're on. Living in the past will stop you
from making important memories right now.
So I ask you every day to remindyourself who you are.
You are a person living on this incredible planet.
(09:21):
Now you have the ability to impact people, smile at them,
make art and breathe the outsideair and experience wonders every
single day. So act like it.
Enjoy and learn from the memories, but don't live in
them. Anticipate and plan, but don't
be overwhelmed by what will be. Enjoy what is live now.
(09:48):
Feel your feelings. That's going to wrap it up for
today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. I just released a new album out
on all music platforms titled I Wouldn't Do It Again.
I learned how to sing for this album and I'm incredibly proud
of how this piece of art came out and it would mean so much if
(10:09):
you checked it out. Just look up.
I Wouldn't Do It Again by Ethan Jewell on whatever platform you
listen to music. Also, please shoot me a message
on my Instagram at Jewel Boy with an eye under score and let
me know what you thought about today's episode.
So thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for understanding thatliving in the what is is the
(10:29):
only way to live. And as always, thank you for
feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.
When I was younger, I desperately wanted to live in
the future. I wanted to be older.
I couldn't wait to be an adult. I couldn't wait to have all the
responsibilities that come with it.
And now that I am older, that I'm an adult, I think about the
past a lot more. And I think about what it was
like to be a young kid and how enjoyable it was.
(00:20):
Many of us, myself included, seem to have this odd obsession
with the past or with the future.
We don't want to live in the right now.
We want to look back or forwards.
But why is that? Let's talk about it.
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
(00:40):
Feelings. Time is an interesting thing,
and it's something that all of us experience.
Time will always keep moving no matter what, but a lot of us
have an obsession with certain aspects of time, for example,
the future or the past. I've met a lot of people who are
always, always living in the past.
(01:03):
For example, maybe older men whoare always reminiscing on their
days of, say, high school football and saying that they
could have gone pro, you know they're living inside of the
past. Or I meet people my age who are
talking about their future and how they can't wait to get
married and grow up and have a have a real job and all these
different things. So many people that I know are
(01:25):
constantly living somewhere elseother than now, and on the
surface that seems fine. But as somebody who has done
that for years and still does that to this day, I can tell you
it is not as pleasant or as innocent as it may seem.
I want to remind you, I'm not a doctor.
I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not a professional in the
mental health industry. I'm just a normal guy who has
(01:48):
felt a lot of big feelings and wants to open the conversation.
And today, I want to open the conversation on the importance
of living in the now and why we should avoid living in the past
and avoid living in the future. After all, the past is just a
memory and living in the past can cause depression.
The future is just a thought, and living in the future is
(02:10):
anxiety. What happens when we live inside
of each of these? No amount of worrying,
anticipation, or anxiety will change the future.
That's just a fact that we all have to accept.
What will happen, will happen. The world has a funny way of
making sure things work out how they're meant to.
And if you spend all your time focusing on the what if you will
(02:34):
never move forward properly? And let me explain what I mean
by this. It may seem super innocent to
always be anticipating, to always be planning, to always be
looking for the next step. In fact, we're often taught that
we should look forward, We should be saving.
We should be looking for our next move, for our next job,
looking out for the future of our friendships or our
(02:54):
relationships. And that's true to an extent.
Yes, you should be aware of the future.
But if you live in the future and you get caught up in the
what if you will never be able to healthily move forward
through life? You will be so caught up on
making the quote right decision on doing the right thing,
(03:16):
meaning the right people that you will miss the fact that all
of that is right in front of you.
The correct decisions are whatever decisions you make and
move forward with. The right thing to do is
whatever choice you make. When you live in the future.
You are discrediting every decision you make, every moment
(03:36):
of the day. You are second guessing every
single thing that you do. Imagine if a friend of yours
planned a fun day out for the two of you along the way.
Every time they suggest something to do, you start
going. I don't know if that's a great
idea or I I don't know if that'sthe right thing for us to do.
Maybe they suggest something fordinner and you immediately say,
(03:57):
well, what if there's a better option?
What if we're meant to eat somewhere else?
Would that make for a fun, productive day with that friend,
or would it lead to more anxietyin the friendship and an overall
feeling of uneasiness or distrust?
Of course it would be the 2nd. So why do you talk that way to
(04:19):
yourself? Why do you doubt every move that
you make? Because there may be a better
one? Is it because you don't trust
yourself or because you are so scared of what could be?
So many of us don't realize whenwe're living in the future it is
(04:40):
because we are riddled with anxiety.
We're so anxious about what's coming, we're so unsure, and we
lack the confidence to move forward without that constant
worry. This is something that I'm still
working on to this day. The future is unsure and that is
scary. So I remind myself what could be
(05:03):
will happen no matter what. We cannot stop the natural flow
of life. Even if you hideaway from
everything, life will still moveon without you.
That's the truth. I often feel paralyzed at the
thought of the future, so much that it's stopped me from
working on my future altogether in my head.
Time is moving so quickly. Everything seems so random that
(05:26):
there's no point in continuing, no point in moving forward.
This podcast, for example, I've thought about quitting dozens of
times purely because the future is uncertain.
I don't know if this is going anywhere.
I don't know if it will do anything.
But I've accepted this, and you should too.
The future will come regardless,so why not have something to
(05:47):
show for it? Why not take that risk?
Why not take the path less travelled?
The future is one thing, but living inside of the past is an
entirely different beast. So let's talk about what happens
when we live in the past. No amount of anguish, no amount
(06:07):
of mourning, no amount of yearning will change the past.
What's done is done. And I know reminiscing may not
seem like a bad thing after all.What's so bad about sifting
through memories and simply thinking about what has been?
However, if you keep living in the past constantly, I don't
mean thinking about memories. I mean reliving them.
(06:27):
I mean yearning for them. You will find yourself in a pit
of absolute depression. You will feel like a failure.
You will be unable to focus on the what is because of how
caught up you are in the what has been.
If you struggle with living in the past, as I often have,
there's a big reason for it. A majority of the time, the
(06:50):
reason we live in the past is because we miss or regret
something. Maybe we miss a person, a place,
a pet, a thing. Maybe we regret how we treated
someone, how we treated ourselves, how we let someone
treat us. Maybe we're just reminiscing and
living through memories every day.
It's fine to respect what has happened in our past and
(07:11):
remember. But if you become obsessed with
the past, you start to play withthe idea that maybe the past was
better, maybe things were betterthan and you shouldn't be as
happy and content now. Maybe you will not find a new
partner because your last partner was so good.
Maybe you can't be happy now because of how happy you were in
(07:32):
the past. Maybe you cannot live now
because of how your life was back then.
This inevitably leads into depression.
You have to learn how to respectand sift through these memories
without living in them. Your purpose is not to forget
the past because there are happyand sad memories that were part
(07:54):
of your life, but instead to letthem go.
The past teaches you what mistakes to make and how to grow
from them. That is the use of reminiscing,
Not to tear yourself apart with regrets and bad memories, but
instead to build yourself together from them.
I know it's very cliche to say that the past should be a
(08:15):
teacher. We've heard that a lot from
psychologists or great leaders. But I'm here as somebody, just
like you, as someone who has experienced this reminiscing as
somebody who still struggles to live in the now to this day.
The main use of the past is to learn.
You know, there's a reason we study history, for example.
(08:37):
It's to learn and not make the same mistakes, and your history
is no different. So don't be afraid to reminisce.
Don't be afraid to learn and think, but don't get so caught
up in your memories that you live in the what was instead of
the what is. Living in the now is the only
(08:58):
way to live. Without an active focus on
what's happening right now, you will go through your days blind
and unaware. Living in the future will make
you doubt the path you're on. Living in the past will stop you
from making important memories right now.
So I ask you every day to remindyourself who you are.
You are a person living on this incredible planet.
(09:21):
Now you have the ability to impact people, smile at them,
make art and breathe the outsideair and experience wonders every
single day. So act like it.
Enjoy and learn from the memories, but don't live in
them. Anticipate and plan, but don't
be overwhelmed by what will be. Enjoy what is live now.
(09:48):
Feel your feelings. That's going to wrap it up for
today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. I just released a new album out
on all music platforms titled I Wouldn't Do It Again.
I learned how to sing for this album and I'm incredibly proud
of how this piece of art came out and it would mean so much if
(10:09):
you checked it out. Just look up.
I Wouldn't Do It Again by Ethan Jewell on whatever platform you
listen to music. Also, please shoot me a message
on my Instagram at Jewel Boy with an eye under score and let
me know what you thought about today's episode.
So thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for understanding thatliving in the what is is the
(10:29):
only way to live. And as always, thank you for
feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.
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